Stuff Island - Stuff Island #40 - Our Button w/ Big Jay Oakerson

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

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Yeah, there's definitely like a gay section. I think if you go, if you go further. If you go south along the beach, like if you walked past the concession stand and like went further down that way, apparently it gets like super gay. Super gay. Dude, that. I think you can go topless and bottomless too, right? Maybe.

Really? In Rockaway? Yeah, there's like a nude. I think it's the whole beach. I think you just be nude now. I know it's never who you are. You'd have to go so much. I'd put the time in, but you have to go so much to like-

Feel comfortable? Catch nudity, I'd say. Oh, yeah. Did you ever go to- I've never seen a pecker on sand. I've never seen, have you ever seen tits? Yeah. I went to, me and Jeff Ross, when I wasralia uh it was sydney and we went to bondi beach

which is like uh it's a topless i guess like a topless beach or like not even topless like you just can be yeah right yeah uh so everybody's not but the people who were it wasn't like grandma tits and shit no that's what i usually think it's going to be. And I heard it usually is on those things. Like a nudist colony. Like gross, like swinger bodies. Yeah. But which, by the way. I'm in.

I'll go look at that also. But I'm saying more that I wouldn't. If I was naked on it, like I'm not going to add to like, I know I'm not raising the bar. Yeah. If I drop down. So I'm like, but I still don't want to go uh look at it as much but it's for the novelty i would yeah but when we were on bondi beach there was girl that's what the normalization of it was crazy that's what i thought it was like

it'll be like insanely beautiful girls really tits out sunbathing whatever talking and next to them unrelated to them it wasn't like a brother or something it was like 13 year old boys like digging sand and 13 or whatever yeah they didn't give a shit really because it's just like it's just not that big of a deal i'm sure they still have like the oh nice look maybe that's even why they're posted up there but they're not making like at 13 you couldn't stop me oh my god that would help a lot though i'd be shoveling with my boner i would i'd be so hard oh i have to lay down how much stuff he meant to me as a kid we used to go i used to go when i was little the i've told this before but like the the locker

rooms at the jewish community center that was like the y in town and uh and the locker rooms uh the men's women's locker room were separated by where there's like a steam room and sauna and stuff so we'd go uh me mostly me but i would get friends sometimes i tell them this is what you do is you can go crack the door of the women's locker room and look at those big, dewy bushes. Pan down. I want bush. And then I feel like one or two times when it happened, I was able to tell him, I go, if someone goes, excuse me, what are you doing? He goes, I'm sorry.

I'm looking for my mom. Can you see if Terry's in there? Because then I go, oh, I'm sorry. You're looking for your mom. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I'm looking for my mom. He's like, call ass out of there. Dude, I'm sorry, you're looking for your mom. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I'm looking for my mom. You're like, call ass out of there. Dude, I'm afraid.

I'm glad this didn't catch on. But if you remember like a few years ago, they were trying to normalize nudity where women were just walking around. There was like a whole parade of chicks with their tits out. Free the nipple, yeah. And these poor kids probably just got normalized by going to this titty beach. But that would help. If I went to that beach and it was all just super hot people naked,

I don't have... I can't be there. No. I can't. I mean, I could eventually. It's like that Vegas pool energy. I can't... I'm going to Oval. I'm going to look. Yeah. But aren't you supposed to? That's what I'm saying. The anger always seems to come with

the wrong thing. Yeah. It's like, why can't we breastfeed in public? Do it. But I'm going to look at your tits. Yeah, of course. Yeah. it's like do i think you should walk around naked in the streets of new york no yeah well let me know where you're gonna be what are you doing pal i'm just looking for a blue jay no i've never met someone in person that is actually enraged by someone breastfeeding in public. No.

I've never. Me either. Who gives a shit? There's like a fake outrage. I think I've never had any reaction other than like, oh, oh. Yeah. You know, you might have another guy go. Yeah, I mean, you can't get, I wouldn't get pissed if my wife was just whipping out titty

bombs. Yeah. We interviewed Bam Marger and he was pretty whacked out. Whipped my baby? Yeah. Years ago, a couple years ago, it was me and Ron Bennington interviewed him at Philly,

that first Philly Comic Con that was a bust. Oh, really? Oh, I remember that. It was a bust. Was that like 11th and Cherry? It was right next to Convention Center. Oh, Convention Center, yeah.

It was bad. But we interviewed Bam Margera and we had like a very small audience in this place and uh bam margera's hot wife at the time was just had her out just fucking breastfeeding and walking up and down the aisles of the it was such a weird fucking dark place was that fucked up at that point? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His eyes were bolts. How's he, he's still alive, right?

Yeah, and you never know if he's like okay or not okay. It seems like probably still not okay. Yeah. It's pretty nuts. But then Sagalow

had a crazy story about like getting to interview him. He was telling me, you gotta ask him about that and see if he, it's crazy. Like we're at the height

of his like fucked up on drugs and shit. Yeah. For what? Yeah. He just, for his podcast because he was just like, fucked up. On drugs and shit. Yeah. For what? Yeah. He just, for his podcast, because he was just like, oh, no, he got him. He was doing West Side Comedy Theater or club, whatever it's called. Yeah.

Club over here. Whatever it is. Oh, is that where he, like, didn't show up or something and then flipped out on the. He came and then he, like, yeah, he went nuts and started, like, hitting people. What? But, like, his own friends, like, you know, like, the people own friends like you know like the people that he can just take punches for has a joint roller and bam or jr. has guys strong chin man he wants to throw a hissy fit punches really like horrific personality that guy that I'm having and

he was the coolest one everybody yeah yeah when he was younger like I was the one everyone was like damn dude that guy looks like he just has fun and then you're like no he's actually just rotten to his parents it's the age perspective on everything i said i used to think jim morrison like i have such a door to still i'm a doors fan but i like i thought his whole i dug his thing yeah and even like when i was young and hear those stories like uh it's like like, yeah, he doesn't, he didn't show up for a show in Amsterdam because, you know, he got high with Jefferson Airplane and didn't show up for the gig. So the keyboard player had to play the songs.

You're like, damn, dude, he's so rock and roll. And then as a professional performer, especially, you're like, you show up. Yeah. What a piece of shit. You're like, what are you doing like people paid money for that gig they're bummed it's the fucking keyboard player doing it nobody wants to see the keyboarder that's the guy you hit in the face yeah i feel like all of that stuff is kind of going we're like destroying a hotel room people philly would have taken that yeah

philly i didn't understand philly's so brutal because sometimes you will see a once in a lifetime thing if a band's like, fuck that one time I went to Oz Fest and it was Judas Priest, Black Sabbath for the headlines. Yeah. And Ozzy didn't show up. He was sick. And but they announced when they came out to announce it, they go Ozzy Osbourne unfortunately couldn't make it. He sent this

letter or whatever along. And Bill Ward read it and it was like, I'm sorry, I can't make it he sent this uh letter or whatever along and bill ward read it and it was like i'm sorry i can't make it but uh my good friend rob halford lead singer judas priest has agreed to come out in front black sabbath tonight holy shit and do all the songs you love and blah blah blah and also and rob rob halford when he says that he goes it's rob halford's birthday also and he started music because he loved blacks you know what i mean all these things come into place philly just went all right i mean there was i'm telling you there's hundreds of people left from 25 000 hundreds stayed to watch they're like

this and rob howard can be more gracious he's like that's my birthday. What a treat to play with the greatest metal band. Fuck you. Philly, my favorite. Do you have favorite Philly things you saw at the stadiums? I have so many. As far as just like, I love it. Like Philly stuff. The two for me were them.

Well, just the idea because it's happened so many times like how much they boo when frisbee dog like misses but then the turn when he makes one they go fucking nuts dude that I went to a Monday night game once with uh the mid they said like you know stay around for the halftime show hometown heroes Hall and O notes yeah are gonna play and they went out and started playing uh like we were losing too i think at halftime and like they they came out and started a new ballad oh dude you gotta play classics it was crazy and the play starts raining down booze yeah and in mid song the sweetest couple of all time. In mid-song. In mid-song. It's a ballad. In the mid-song he stops and he turns around everybody and he's like pointing at people

and he goes, he goes, should only come out at night. I mean the immediate turn makes me laugh so hard. I like like we hate you until we, that's why, it's literally what Ben Simmons couldn't get. I'm like dude you're diving for a ball away from being everyone's favorite. It's like starting a new bit on stage. You know, it's Bahamut. And you just like slide into a classic. I went to that.

I went to that. It was a Flyers Capitals playoff game. It was like the, I think it was game three. And it was the first game right after Snyder died. Okay. So they gave out all these like wristbands. It was like the first time they'd ever done

these like these flashing wristbands and put like beautiful like honoring him before the game and they had this whole light show that was like connected to your wrist. Coldplay just did that.

Dude, it was amazing. I saw Coldplay. Dude, 50 seconds into the game, Flyers score. It was like place was going absolutely nuts. Capitals proceed to come back and absolutely beat the shit out of us.

So, in the third period, they score like a power play goal to go up like 6-1 or something like that. Start throwing them. From the upper deck. Rain. Thousands of bracelets just are coming down right so they spend like you know 10 minutes like cleaning them up and uh and the the voice of god in you know he's always like the calmest guy ever he's like claude drew goal you know like yeah he's like he's like you can't do that again philly like do that again we're gonna get a penalty right immediately

capital score again it's another barrage of bracelets down from the other upper deck they get a bench minor this guy who's been nothing but calm all season he's like the nicest guy in the world world it was insane they never did those bracelets again you know what i think two years in philadelphia might have the highest concentration of people that are aware of what your one night in jail limit is yeah yeah you you know what i mean everyone who started doing at that point was just like i'll sleep it off in the journey yeah like i'll be home tomorrow also honestly they're just like i've been arrested for the night before a bunch like everyone just kind of gets it i love that yeah with my friends it'll be fine

no one we can't arrest us all you know what i mean you're not throwing with my friends, it'll be fine. No, they can't arrest us all. You know what I mean? You're not throwing a Molotov cocktail. So, like, I'm going to have fun. This is like, it's just like an extra boost for the ticket. I don't know if it makes me a not good enough Philadelphia, because I'm so passionate about the team. Yeah, me too. The ones that I love, too.

The Sixers, Eagles, I die hard on both. And, like, I couldn't see any, slight of the actual, like like something they would do if someone like grabbed me by my fucking face and pushed me and was like eagles suck yeah like doesn't really matter what he said you know what i mean like that's the weird thing but i couldn't see getting into a physical thing oh how many rings you got how many rings you can get into like a real thing like what's wrong with it? Especially when I was, I think I told, may have told you guys this before,

but going with Bargatze, cause he got a hookup to go to the after party at Chicky and Pete's with the Eagles when they got knocked out of the playoffs against the Giants. It was mathematically over. That's a funeral. You can't go to.

And go, no. And when Chicky and Pete's, I'm telling you the people who would give a shit, which I believe were Brian Westbrook, Dawkins, and McNabb, the three of them weren't at the party. Yeah. Maybe some other people too, but those were the three I recognized weren't there. Javon Kirst, all these other people, dude, they were out talking to chicks and drinking

and eating and having a good old time. And I was like- I don't even do that. Why would some guy go home and fuck? Exactly. I'm like, some guy goes home in the city and cracks his wife in the face for some sick reason over that game. And you guys are really just like, we're millionaires.

Dude, I remember. We were being official earlier this year. You also remember that they're like 20 something. It's true. You know what I mean? Yeah. I remember like, yeah. I remember like losing games in high school sports.

And for like the first 20 minutes of the bus ride, just devastated. And then someone would fart or something. And then all of a sudden, it's just like, it doesn't matter if you've lost the state championship. You just, by the time you get home, everyone's fucking around.

It's like, life goes on, man. That's actually the saddest part about free sports is like the level of passion is, it's embarrassing. Yeah. Like it fucks me up for quite some time when we lose our game, let alone a playoff game.

Like my ex-girlfriend, you also be like on Sundays, like if they lose, she used to literally console me. It's so sad. Like I was in the locker room. She would like softly walk in the living room and be like, I'm sorry, baby. Are you okay? You start rubbing your belly.

You know how sad that is, dude? It's like embarrassing. Cause you want to go, it's like, I'm fine. go it's like i'm fine five minutes yeah yeah five five five days i'll be fine i sent uh everybody away once it was when we lost to the it was the cardinals to go to the falcons i think last game as a eagle he cried in the press conference saying he thought this was the year and I remember and I think Soder and a couple other people maybe Nate and people were all at my house and they were like

hey what do you want to do now or we were all supposed to maybe go into the city for spots and I was like guys just go I'm going to stay here just go and they're like what are you going to do and I go I'm going to watch this fucking Kevinvin kolb speech this everything that sucks about this right now i have to go torture myself with

dude just watch the game again when the bucks beat us in the conference championship was right before the conference championship i think in like 2003 maybe the procession out of that stadium i still never forget it like literally no one made a sound all you heard was like fucking air force one shuffling down the steps was that the year the jaw roll performed wearing the tampa colors in the audience i don't remember the halftime show that may have been a falcons one too what a fucking idiot but anyway yeah that was like i never i went to the last last year went to a playoff game, but like I try and avoid the real big ones because it's just complete fucking shame. Dude, when they lost the Super Bowl in 04, 05?

Yeah, 05. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was 05. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I mean, West Philly was, everything was getting destroyed. I remember with my friends just finding like any mercedes that had just ripping that fucking so much yeah i had so much like felt terrible for that when especially someone had the jaguar or the mercedes one and you're like oh dude yeah you fucked someone's

day pretty bad did you guys ever go to wing bowl Bowl? Of course. No, I never went. I only did it twice. I never went, but I mean, I've heard stellar things. Yeah, dude. I like also, I was making a joke, L, one of my family's claims to South Jersey Philly fame is I think L Wingador was at a barbecue once. I think L Wingador is wanted

on like major trafficking things too. I think he's in major trouble. Yeah, Al Wingador. What, drugs? I think it's like maybe trafficking drugs or something. I mean, how did you not? I mean,

Wing Bowl. Yeah, yeah. It's also Wing Bowl is just one big drug trafficking event. It must be. It literally was like, I remember-

It's like the last place where girls like show their tits on the big screen. Yeah. The Rob Zombie concert and Wing Bowl. God, they on the big screen. Yeah. The Rob Zombie concert in Wing Bowl. God, they were disgusting women too.

It was just a- I don't know, it was a circus. It was a circus. It was the all-circus zone. It was the same roof with too many freckles on her chest. Yeah, god, the oblong tits, one fucking nipple's pointing down, and not this way because it's a bad job.

I know, but you're- Yeah. One-eyed, wacky, it's like so lazy, it's taking unemployment. I don't know, but you're so- Yeah. One-eyed, wacky, it's like so lazy, it's taking unemployment. I know, but you're so shit-faced and have like a nitrous hangover by the time it starts. It starts at five. Yeah.

So we would just stay up. Yeah, you get there at midnight. Yeah. Find drugs. Yeah. Drink all the way- Get whacked in the fucking parking lot. You know, it's so funny,

as wacky as like New York is, like the way it's like set up. Nothing I still find was more bizarre when I'd go to visit my family in South Philly when I was younger. We were in West Philly and it was we lived in an apartment. It wasn't like that. It was just something about it. It was like you live above this. It was like a soft pretzel place or something.

You know what I mean? It was so like. Dude, this is the only place in the city that has changed. Like families living in those. That's why it almost felt weird. It wasn't like art students and like, people trying to like do something like, you know, in the creative space or something.

It's like, it was all, it was like your family, your grandma lived two floors up. She had the higher stairs walk somehow. It hasn't changed at all. It's the same. That and the hardcore Northeast are the only two places that there's no change at all. There's no like younger white students coming in. It's just all old Italians and young fucking guidettes.

Well, Westfield, I got to watch go. Like, it was so funny to watch, like, even the part I was at, like, kind of become like a completely black neighborhood. Yeah. And now watching it become like a completely black neighborhood yeah and now oh yeah become like that area overbrook park like it's now like white college kids will move there because st joe's is close and uh yeah yeah so it's like it's gonna be it's funny to watch it come back around yeah dude west philly's like really nice now yeah parts of it yeah yeah the arcane my campus our our year the campus was complete garbage.

Now they have like restaurants. Past Stringgarden was not cool. Yeah, there was two bars and you got robbed. That was it. South Street seems pretty dicey these days. I know. I went over there to look at the TLA once not long ago and be like, take like my girlfriend, like the old,

and I did comedy over there and i'm going i'm like ew but it was over there right where that black biker gang is is lifehouse ishka bibbles lifehouse isn't open right they didn't reopen that no weren't they gonna try to i thought that was like a well maybe the guy the guy may have tried to do something somewhere else and call it something. Yeah, he was a real piece of shit I heard, huh? Which one?

The owner? There was so many, the one, Dee Lee was the guy when I started who was one of the owners. The guy whose wife died, right? Who was the old black guy? Rod. That Rod, Rod, Rod. Mr. Rod.

Yeah. I like when you're dealing with older black people, you all become children. You all become black children. We have to call you Mr. Something, Miss Mona. True. And Mr. Rod. That was their names. I'm not a grown man calling you Mr. First Name.

It sounds like a porn name. Mr. Larry. This is our first sober case. It is, yeah. That's my first. I'm taking a week off of drinking this week.. It is, yeah. I'm taking a week off of drinking this week. Oh, yeah? Hasn't done that since he was 17. No, younger than that.

Probably 14 or 15. Had to be high school. Sophomore year of high school. But were you going a week without drinking? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because we'd always drink Thursday, Friday, Saturday,

just like you did in college. We started that early in high school. Or at least Friday, Saturday. Well, I'm almost like the younger ones, I'm almost thinking like in recent times, you haven't just had a week like circumstantially that you couldn't or something? Yeah, that you're like in the woods or something.

At least like three, four beers. No, where's a better place to drink, in the woods or in the house? That's true. So it's Monday to Monday. This is... Yeah. What do you have this weekend?

Nothing really intense. That's worse. But you're in town. Yeah. Yeah. I wish there was something. Yeah. I don't know how. When I'm on the road, my girlfriend doesn't drink at all either.

So I'll have a few drinks if I'm doing shows in town. Yeah. Or Legion of Skanks or something like that. But like when I'm on the road, if I'm going to have like, get like pretty tipsy, it would be like, yeah, only on the road. So if I'm home is more of my private drink. It's easy having a partner that, you know,

that keeps you balanced and level headed. Yeah. Cause you go to get your like fifth beer and she's like, again? Yeah, I don't know. I also don't like home drink at all, really. Just in the house? Yeah.

If I was like- You don't have anything in the house? No, I have some stuff for people if they come over. I have tequila. I have stuff. Yeah. But just for my own thing, there's been some nights where I'm like, before I'm in the house by myself, Christine's doing something with friends or something.

I'm like, oh, maybe I'll... But the way I drink is just like I want to get to that feeling and then just nurse that. So I don't go like, I'm going to crush like 12 beers. Until I can't see the TV. I go, no, no. I go, I'm going to do three shots of tequila right away. Whoa. Just back to back.

That's how I drink on the weekends, even when I go on the road. Really? And then I just like drink a beer. Why don't you just get a whiskey or something on the rocks? Because I'm such a lady that the smell of whiskey makes me wretch. And you know, I tried it young, completely warm and just tasting every bit of it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

So like the taste. No. But like that's just, it's like the same thing I would do if I got like black licorice taste in my mouth. I'm like, you know, I was like a Jaeger now. Okay. But any alcohol I do, like you'll, if you see me do a shot with no chaser of like at least a white claw type thing or a beer, but probably soda or something.

If I don't do a chaser, it's because in the moment it would have looked weird to do it or it's not there. And you're going to see me fighting something back. For sure. If I even get to sip the most chilled tequila, I could do it, but then- There'll be a moment. There's no chaser when people are talking.

You just turn around? Cause I'm like, it's not you to hold back a puke. It's just like, I hate this thing. But I would do the same thing with coffee, got my mouth. I don't like coffee either. Dude, I used to drink pints of Sambuca White. It was just a liqueur. For like three years straight in my 20s.

That's what I ordered at a Polish-American club. What the fuck? I'd pull up and I'd be like, dude, buy the pint glass. You know, it's an after dinner drink. Is it like a port wine? It's a fuck. And then when you put it with ice, it just becomes cloudy and like

cum texture. So I'm just smoking pints of licorice cum and you know sugar. Do you have the double double earrings at this point? I do have a double piercing. Pint glasses in a VFW.

If I saw that now, I'd be like, yo, you gotta. How much alcohol is it? I mean, it's like- Oh, it's a lot. It's like a beer. I think it's like 45% alcohol. Jesus. It's not as hard as the others, but it's still up there.

It's over 40. I know that. It is a liqueur, but I think it's high. Look it up for me. Sambuca White. Jesus Christ. Oh, not just one, dude. I would get like three, four pints in a night.

Just, that smell great. Burns everything out too. What is that? Is it licoricey? Yeah, it's just black licorice. Yeah, that's what I think it was like a ouzo tastes like. Yeah, yeah. That's sort of what I think Jager.

That's Greek though, right? Jager tastes like that pretty much. That's the only one I don't like out of every liquor. Somebody made Jager go down a little easier for me by describing it as flat root beer. And I'm like, sort of. Yeah. I can get that in my head. That helps.

I was like, if I can get that in my head for sure. And the only time in my life I've ever blacked out was on Fireball because they were like, oh, I bet you'd like this whiskey. Yeah. And then I was like, that's whiskey. And it was like, it's like just reaching in for candy. I'm like, this is whiskey? Like, shut up you'd like this whiskey. Yeah. And then I was like, that's whiskey. And it was like, it's like just reaching in for candy. I'm like, this is whiskey. Like, shut up.

That tastes like gum. Yeah. This is whiskey. Same alcohol as whiskey. Shut up. And then everything was fine. Then I stood up at the end of the podcast and I was like, hey. Yeah, yeah.

And then I passed out on a cruise ship. I think that's only 30. That's 30%, I think. Yeah, with like seven or eight of them. Yeah. Maybe more. God damn. It kept going.

So I was like, I don't even feel them. Yeah. Maybe more. God damn. It kept going. So, I was like, I don't even feel anything. Yeah. Dude, I used to... I can't drink that because I can't... If I have alcohol in my system, I can't take on red dye. Really?

Yeah, my skin turns bright red. Wait, what? Yeah. Sorry, I'm saying what? If I have like red dye and alcohol at the same time, my skin will go like fire red. It's crazy. What's the red dye in? There's just something about my body. at the same time, my skin will go like fire red. It's crazy. What's the red dye in?

There's just something about my body that can't break down red dyes with alcohol in my system. Where's the red dye coming from? In Fireball. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Who did that chemistry for you? My mom.

Really? Because we were in New Orleans. My brother was like graduating from law school and like we just started chugging hurricanes and she was like what the fuck's happening and i was like what do you mean that's that girl and fucking willie wonka i was

just like no sometimes this happens i mean i don't know and then she was like no that's crazy and looked it up yeah i'm allergic to something in uh in hot dogs and potato chips my mom figured that out because i was like i can only eat one hot dog or I get, right on my fucking head, I get like a severe headache. And then if I have a certain amount of chips, just plain chips, I get the same headache.

And it's the only two ingredients I eat. And I told my mother, she's like, oh, you're allergic to it. And she said the exact thing. Probably a lean. Looked it up. Sure enough,

GEP, right on the money. Allergic to chips and hot dogs? What is both in hot dogs and potato chips? I don't know. I'm going to ask her. I'll text her when I get done.

Nitrates? Yeah, it's a certain nitrate. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's a very specific one though. Jesus Christ. Yeah, so I can only have one dick. If I have two dicks, I get a fucking knot in my head. So that's a classic hot dog.

You could probably have like an all beef hot dog or something. Maybe nowadays it's come along, you know, because the quality is heightened. For someone who likes going to sports so much, I'm surprised you don't't i don't eat dicks at sport events i don't actually eat until afterwards i know we got a hot dog at the yankee game yeah we did i ate one dick at the yankee game the next one you're allergic to one dick i'm allergic to two dicks yeah but i like to you know i can't have a boiled dick i gotta i gotta slice it down the middle. I got to char grill it.

I have a very specific process. I'm with you too. Yeah. Grill the bun. Yeah. Spicy mustard. I'm not a big fan of the boiled dog. Yeah.

They don't give a shit. It's the water. The water will seep into the fucking wallpaper, ruin the whole house. You're not wrong. It's disgusting, dude. That water is so fucking gross. Oh, man. Sounds like a beefy girl running on the block.

You know what I mean? That was my uncle who did drugs in Philly. He had a house that was like definitely like wallpaper and the kitchen wallpaper wore everything that they ever tried to make. Which I think mostly was drugs. Yeah. I think they cooked cigarettes and drugs mostly

by what the wallpaper said. You ever smell crack? I don't think so, but I heard it's very distinct. mostly by what the wallpaper says. You ever smell crack? I don't think so, but I heard it's very distinct. It smells like shit. It's a very strange scent. Really, even just like the- It's delicious, but- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Once you hit one, you'll smell it. It's like scotch. No, some kid we lived in, when I lived on Temple's campus, when I went to Drexel, I lived with a baseball team, but the soccer team threw fucking bangers, dude. They had a trash can that was just piss. That's the positive?

These guys party. They fucking, yo, dude, I'm not kidding. I've never seen anything like it. Temple Shouts, Temple Soccer Kids, if you guys watch this, that was, it stayed with me forever. They had a giant industrial trash cans for recycling food and then they had one in the corner that was just to the brim

piss. They'd all just stand on this little fucking thing and piss in a trash can. Did they have a little step stool? Yeah, they had like a thing to step on. I don't know why. It didn't make any sense. Is that a way you squat over a trash can? Do not fall in. We're hanging out late night. It's probably probably like three four o'clock in the morning and the door opens and this fucking guy this young kid

played soccer just walks in with this old black dude like out of nowhere doesn't say a word they walk through the room goes down the basement and we're all like the fuck was that so all of a sudden he's a good peek down the door just fucking smoking crack with this dude and then he just skedaddled and I was like what the fuck that dude's nuts yeah he's doing crack functional crack addict is a weird one to see and starting in college is like I've never seen anything like that's why yeah it's funny now at like uh almost 45 years old like i'd try crack 100 now it's funny on the sdr show we always talk about like like trying and drugs mediums aren't really i'm not a big drug person i smoke pot so i mean i am a big pot person i'd say but like you would try coke twice ever.

I didn't really give a shit about it. Like any pills I've taken, I've then not taken for years and don't give a shit. Yeah. If they come up again, I'd be like, no, sure. Yeah. I don't have much of a problem with it. I remember talking to you at Ari's. You know, saying DMT didn't work on me and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was weird. Yeah, it's crazy. But like- Is DMT like weed where you got to do it twice no god no no this is supposed to take you to a different planet for 10 minutes yeah and it did it to everybody else who did the same stuff i had that night and again but everyone says like uh take like lexa pro and shit like that probably like blocked it oh wow that's what it probably is even though it says online it doesn't block it it. It must have. It fucking blocks it.

It must have, yeah. Because none of that stuff really like gets me. But I've never been like on mushrooms where I'm like. Yeah. You know, I've always been like kind of just stoned on it. I just had my first bad trip. But I would try crack to, yeah, see what all the hubbub's about. Really?

I think I could definitely do crack and never do crack again. I'd do it with you, but then I'd probably start fucking you. The level of horniness I get on cocaine, I can't imagine what crack is. I'll probably just you, but then I probably start fucking you. The level of horniness I get on cocaine, I can't imagine what crack is. I'll probably just start jerking off as me. It's concentrated horny. There used to be this video

me and my buddy found. I find some weird shit, but it was this dude, this big black guy, fucking jacked. He's probably like 6'4". I know this because it's not like he was holding

a quarter or a sneaker up he walks into the mall and he he walks directly in between the two escalators going up and down takes out this fucking absolute rope dick and just starts jerking off this way like it was like yeah he was like it was like bending a periscope it was like taking a right turn like his arm couldn't reach the end right and that's why he came back around this way it's like a belt loop check your corners for danger and then would smoke crack and then just walk back in and every and then he had something in his pocket where like he would just be tooting tooting some drugs and just beating off. He got off in public. He came.

Yeah. Yeah. He just slow dribble horse came, comes, came out of his bird. Do you think he woke up the next day and was like, what the fuck? I don't think so, man. Or do you think he just like, ah. Yeah. Again? I think that's his thing, obviously.

Yeah. We saw a guy. In Montreal last week, me and Josh Edemeyer saw a guy who chose to go- There's clear window displays in the lobby of this hotel that are almost like Macy's windows. You know what I mean? Not that they're dressed up like that, but they're just like- Yeah. They put something in there, a sign or something about the hotel or whatever. And was a guy and he get in the display which isn't hard to do you just

gotta walk to it but he's in the display shirtless tweaking out from drugs and then fingering his own asshole oh my god aggressive and me and josh had an ice cream i smoked a cigarette and we we sat on a stool on a bench that was like that was a show for us. It was like show and there were the peep shows. Was he being all too? Or just ass? Was he this way?

No, he had his pants below. He just had it pulled down a little bit and he was just like pounding in there. You think he was sexual? We'll tell you that the male G-spot is the best. Did we talk about this yet on here? I don't know, but I Oh my God. You think he was sexual? We'll tell you that the male G-spot is. I understand this. Did we talk about this yet on here? I don't know, but I had a period there

where I really itchy asshole and the way I would scratch it, dude, the faces I was making were insane. Oh my God. Oh my God. Arching my back, just ecstasy. Oh, scratching an asshole itch? Yeah, yeah. asshole is the best.

Dude, in bed in the morning, just going to town. Oh my God, that's just bacteria. That lack of cleanliness. Well, whatever it is. We got a fucking bidet, fire it out. I do, dude, on the bidet too, I'm like. Tell me, say what you were gonna say. I let that thing run for five six you want to get tongue

you do i don't know a little peglet no because i don't like i don't the idea of someone singing their tongue in my asshole is disgusting no don't you say that it's pretty crazy shit like that you don't feel you get your asshole eaten quite a bit? No, not quite a bit. That's a job for a girlfriend for sure. Yeah. But yeah, here's the thing. Anything with your asshole, it can't be...

Something else has to be involved. You need an ambidextrous person because you can't just get a finger up your asshole. You can't just get a finger up your asshole. You can't just get a tongue up your asshole. There has to be an H.J. going on at the same time. You know what I mean? Yes. You got to be catching. If it's finger up your butt, you got to have some mouth on your bird.

Yep. If it's a tongue on your butt, you need a hand on you. It's got to be something else happening. You can't just be a guy having his butthole worked over. All right. Well, then I won't tell that story. That happened to me once. So what you gotta do once? I'll find out if it's your thing.

How you gonna know if you don't find out? I would say the concentration is elevated when you're not touching her wang. What? What? Oh, on the butt. No, that was, I was hooking up with a girl once, and she was like- Want me to hit your asshole? Yeah, you want me to stick my finger in your ass

and jerk you off? I was like, I mean, I guess. And she was like, you've never had that done? I was like, no. She's like, oh, lay down. Yeah, yeah. You did answer correctly, though. It's great if you go, yes, I do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, finally. Thanks for taking the hint. Another weirdo. You got a shovel and you can like lift your knees and you're like. This is nice artwork. Do you get this?

Do you make this yourself? Dude. And then like I was like whatever for the whole thing and then but as soon as I came it was like fucking

She wasn't working in the right spot, dude. She wasn't come hithering your fucking prosti. Our bartender, Bobby, gay Bobby, his husband I was talking to at the bar, and he was, I don't know how it came up.

Asked him, somehow, prostate. His name's gay Bobby. No, his husband. This is gay Bobby's husband. This is gay Bobby's gay husband. Can I ask a question? I think you delicately led him down the path to the conversation we wanted to have.

I don't know, no, we were talking about something and I was like, yeah, it's a shame. Oh no, I think we talked about a tweet that went viral. And the guy's tweet was, how's my day going? What's my problem? My prostate is in my ass. And that was the easiest. And that resonated with me so much our magical button is all the way in my ass and these guys i said it to him i was like this must be wonderful yeah you know you guys are always always knocking

around the button and he goes well there's a way you can do this there's a prong that has like uh it looks like the bait that we use to fish for tuna prong's not a good word though i know i hear you but this thing he showed it to me so it looks like it looks like uh like imagine like a fake a mini dildo right like it has like a little hoop and then it goes skinny yeah and on the outskirts it has a hook so it doesn't like a like a guard you throw on the top of a castle when you get up, that's locked outside too. It can't disappear in your buns.

That's smart engineering. Yes. I thought that was the third remake too. Yeah, the point of that is that the first version. How many x-rays they have of hookless tubes up guys' asses, like damn it. Just the engineer being like, how was it? Did you like it? It's like, it was just the engineer being like how was it did you like it it's like it was pretty good yeah there's one i got one more idea you screwed in a plant hook

anyway so this thing touches your it's like the perfect length and it just prods at the prostate it just flickers the way it's designed for simple movement so if you're having sex that simple thrust will then make it move yeah so you can pop this little popsicle in there and yeah you can do your own i have a lot of insecurity i do feel like that would stop me from ever trying that is that i have to like get? I don't want to get caught or tell her. Yeah. Getting caught's worse, for sure. Yeah.

You get a call, you flip over, you go, on your belly, you go, that was amazing. And she goes, uh, what's this? Yeah. I hope you open it, an umbrella's out. Oh, you found my umbrella. I was looking for that. Yeah, I don't know. I i think a relationship you should be you know if we're accepting of them having all their toys and gadgets

you should be self-conscious enough to go i want to throw this thing in my butt give me 20 minutes yeah oh i don't think my chick would give a shit no she definitely would there's no way she'd be like fucking go for it but i don't't know. It's something about my thing. It's like how I feel I was reading to her that I have a butt plug in. This is what I said to Bobby's gay husband. And he said, you need to come to grips with your, you know, do a little self-reflection on why that's a problem to you. I think there's a thing with it.

It's like- I think it's the same thing if she asked me to wear rabbit ears during it. Does that make sense? I mean, it's not so much the feeling of it. If there was like something, you know what I mean? Again, like her blowing me and putting a finger up my ass and touching my prostate. It doesn't strike me the same. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool because it's all about you. It's the only time you have to try to look some sort of cool or sexy. Yes. It's such a goofy action as it is. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's something that it feels like it's a judgment about how sexy she is if you need a thing in your butt. Hmm. You know?

Oh, also, yeah, that can make a girl be like, oh, I guess you need to be fucked in the ass to find a track. Yeah. But what if everything starts getting better? If she wanted you to wear the rabbit ears or whatever, you'd be like, what about me looking like this is helping? Right. And I can't get past that.

No, it's not the rabbit. Rabbit ears wouldn't bother me if she told me to like dress like her ex-boyfriend. If I had to put like a blonde wig on and wear like cop glasses and I find out fucking her ex is the same dude, I'd was like, that's a problem. Yeah. Give me the bunny ears. Can you be my ex? I don't know, I think I'd get into it.

I think if she wanted me to, I would try it. Or try it. Rabbit ears. Think of the weirdest. Quest or asking you, or question you've been asked? Yeah, or just like what's, oh yeah, me and, me and Christine hooked up with a girl one time who we just didn't know, so cute, this chick. And then she was tiny, real small girl,

and then she just started doing like the, does mommy want daddy to do, and so I was doing it. No, no, no. And me and Christine were having like a lot of like the does mommy want daddy to do no no i mean christine you're having like a lot of like the like like eye contact like this isn't really and i just remember like the last like sort of the last draw before we just kind of wrapped everything up was uh the girl was like does mommy want baby to put daddy's pee pee in her. Oh no. And she just keeps going and- Cut, cut, cut.

Christine's definitely doing like the, she's like, why? She's like, this baby? I remember just going, starting my head sideways and being like, mommy, please tell baby to- Just shut the fuck up. Please, we gotta get this moving.

This is insane. This is nuts. Your slow frustration. Mommy, we gotta get this moving. This is insane. This is nuts. Your slow frustration. Mommy, please just do what she says. It's like we all just wrap it up. Yeah, he goes, you wanna hear her bitching all night? Yeah. You want baby to bitch all night?

Tell mommy to suck baby's pee pee. Let's go. Do that or throw her out by her hair. This has to end now. I can't do this anymore it's silly oh fuck i've never had to do a character before no i've never done any role play stuff the only role play stuff i was asked to do was this girl from penn she asked me uh for rape fantasy and i was like what do you what level here are we talking?

You know what I mean? Like, cause that can flip quick. She's like jammed up in court for six months. A hundred percent. She like literally, she was like- Is she gonna press charges afterwards? No, but that level of like, I want you to physically hold me

so that I have a hard time fighting back. And I was like, okay. She's like, now I'll let you know, I am a trained fighter and I'm really gonna kill you. I'm gonna headbutt you to start. It's not about rape fantasy, it's about her seeing if she could beat up a guy. Dude, that always, I don't know.

That kind of stuff is always so tough because it's like you're caught between being like, I want to fulfill the fantasy, but you know, I don't know really how to rape somebody. Yes. And also that's not something about saying, was it great at it?

Yeah. Oh, my calling card. I can come now and I got to fucking rape everybody. You take off her pinky, her pinky nail. You go, this is the trophy I take.

There's also something emasculating about having to ask that question. It's like, how do I rape you? Can you tell me? God. Do I just come in and jaw your ass? Yeah, I mean, we actually tried for a second where I was like, it's just like,

you know that scene in movies where it's like, as soon as the hotel door opens and you just rip each other's clothes off and it's like a little choking or a little fucking yeah we tried to do that or like we first walked in and then it was like immediate like aggression but then she was like she she was like no and i was like i can't yeah i can't yeah i can't even pretend where you're going with this because she has to fight back emotionally like saying no what kind of savage would continue that yeah yeah like you have no choice i don't mean it so i'm like choking through my teeth yeah well you you're going to have to.

She's fully in character and I'm just fighting and going, take this. Yeah. Fuck. Kill your family, bitch. Where's the money? Give me the jewelry. If you call for help, they die too. God damn. Yeah, any kind of role play to me.

But even like that, i had a girl one time uh i think it was like grand rapids michigan or something she was such a funny story because she came back with me like i was there for two nights first night she came back to me and like she won i'm just not very aggressive because i'm just i said i think where they're gonna say no so she was like we quick because she was winging it and very early into it she was like choke me so i like you know a little like grip on her neck but i never squeeze at all because i'm like they haven't even asked that before she was like hit me and i was like in there hit me and i gave her like that you know

like a little yeah tab like that she goes hard like seriously hit me and i gave her like that you know like a little yeah tab i got she goes hard like seriously fucking hit me and i was like yeah and i was like no and she's like like close like close and i was like oh my god fucking i was like i think you i'm not that dude yeah you're still popping but you're like sorry it's like but i'm this is not my deal no way that's gonna happen but we ended up finishing fucking around and the next day she came to work i had to be sent home because she was like whacked out on drugs and like she fell over like uh she fell over and her purse opened up and it was just like a pharmacy with pills you know things fall on the ground and then she's like crying trying to get them all back up because how much they mean to her those pills and she's puking

and then what's funny is the green room at this place called dr grins the green room it was uh you know it was the hall to the show to the showroom the green room office and because they were waiting for her to like you know see if they have to take her to the hospital or anything they just put her in the office so she's just in an office chair, like, with her tongue out, like, you can't go in her shirt. And I'm in the green room waiting to go on the show.

And I'm like, so I guess me and her aren't going to fuck tonight. Last night she said we should went to fuck again. But, you know, I'm not going to hold her to it.

I was like, you know what? She'll call if she wants to talk. Maybe she can get cleaned up in the next 15 minutes. That was wild. I've had one of those where it's like hit me, hit me harder, harder.

I'm like, I'm not going any harder than that. Yeah, yeah. Never close fist though. I would never. It's always slap. I would never. But even like, I don't know. It's just like.

Choke me, spit on me. I don't not get it. Why chill? I don't not get it at all, but it's just like, it's all for them at that point then too. Because I'm like, just, you know, like slapping you or choking you while I'm fucking you, like is no interest to me at all. Yeah. I wouldn't just do it.

That's a group that should have their own. Like you can't, unless there's a technique where it's like, you know, like I throw a punch and you like go like this, just pretending. You know what I mean? Like I'm like, crap. That's what I thought you were saying. It's like a technique, like I could put her out,

but not like damage anything. That's what I thought you were saying. It's like a technique like I could put her out, but not like damage anything. You know what I mean? We're on the button. Just swing her on the button. They call it the button in professional. No, I feel like isn't that the thing where there is a way of hitting without doing any damage? There's like some technique. Yeah, but then that's not real for her.

She wants the pain. You don't want to give her the pain. That's the problem. You got to be on the same fucking side. I can't provide for you for what you need because it makes me sick me sick you're like go fuck some guy who hangs by his back yes somewhere i'm sure they have online forums for dudes that like beating chicks while he comes figure that the fuck out you know what i think there's something though i think they're happy to have a be somebody yeah probably like well i would never hurt you so they're like so it what you do like they're almost like even if you hurt me it's like by

accident because i asked like too much of it but you're like yeah i don't want to make that mistake though either you know yeah true if a girl said hit you and he goes not like that yeah yeah you're like that's what i'm always afraid the next thing's gonna happen you're like it's like no no no it's like choke me you're like no you're kidding me like what you said so i'm like i'd rather just not think around that at all yeah maybe he's there that's probably it there's another i'd rather have a finger on my ass that's what he goes hit me he goes how about i put this there's this prong you could put in your butt now yeah dude would you mind if i grab it real quick also it's on amazon you don't have to go to like some fucking weird website.

It can't be called prostate prong. Probably. He goes, I bet if you look that up, it shows up. It might be called that, but I bet that shows up if you Google those words. Do you have to like turn off the safe search on Amazon? No, but it does. When it says like recently purchased or like reaching recently viewed it does have like a click to see it's like fuzzed out oh okay because if you were like to bring up amazon's home page

and your viewer thing was just on the table and it's just fucking three anal plugs in different sizes which i purchased before even having them blurred out though show someone you're like cool he's got a rubber ass coming. Yeah, dude, it's wild. I didn't know Amazon fucks with all that stuff, but yeah. The whole page was like... So you can get like Fleshlight and all those things on Amazon? Yeah, everything. And there's like

anal prongs with like fucking rainbow horse tails and shit. They got all the goods, man. All the goods for the parade. I haven't fucked a Fleshlight or any kind of a toy like that ever, simply because I know unless you put a bunch of lube in, what my fear is what will happen is it's all so dry that it's going to hurt. Yeah.

And then if you put tons of lube in it to fuck it, then I'm also like, I don't know if I'm going to, do you know what I mean? So then I'm worried it's going to get my dick hole. Because I feel like the whole thing's pulling so much. They're so like weirdly tight. Yeah. And like they have no like organic movement to them at all.

So it's like I've quit fingers. I've punched through one with a fist. Yeah. And like, you know, I felt inside them, but I've never put my dick up to one. By the way, I would. I would try. I'm just like, it never strikes me when I want to jerk off that I'm like, I want to put my dick in a machine.

It's a lot of work, dude. Yeah, it is. Chris used to fuck one and leave it in the shower. Yeah, yeah. It's true. That is good. You hit his head, you rinse it right out of the thing, hold it up.

You hold it, so it's really James water through it. So it's just a setting. So it's like the power wash. The blaster. There we go. You gotta get out of the way. Was it a certain person's flashlight? Yeah, it was Asa Akira, I think.

Oh, nice. Yeah, but I mean, it's like- What does that matter? It doesn't, it doesn't. Cause it's all- It's sideways. It sleeps upside down. He fucked it the wrong direction.

No, he didn't. She's hot. Yes. I don't know who that is. She's hot. Yes. I don't know who that is. She's a porn star. She's probably the early 2000s more. Yeah, someone was yelling at me the other day, like, I don't have, I don't know any of the porn stars. But then you knew everybody. Oh, no, I know people from like the 90s.

So do I. I know all of them. Yeah. Do you remember Jean Van Dong? The guy with two fake dicks? Or two dicks? Yes. Working dicks? I do. I do. And then there was guy with two fake dicks? Or two dicks? Yes. Working dicks?

I do. And then there was the other two guys, the big fake black dicks that were like crazy long. Moe Bigsley was a big one. Moe Bigsley. I knew Devin Weed. I remember all the black guys from the 90s too. Oh, and Mr. Marcus.

Mr. Marcus. Mr. Marcus. Mr. Marcus. Mr. Marcus. Lexington Steel, obviously. Lexington was great. He was later. He was like late 90s, early 2000s, right? Yeah, Lexington was great. He was later. He was like late 90s, early 2000s, right?

No, he was like all through the 90s pretty much. Yeah, he was a screamer. Dude, let me tell you what I was thinking. Now, like, you know, it's like, I know when we meet them, when they do SDR show, the show I do with Ralph, they, like then I'll know who like they are sometimes, or we have sometimes the older ones that i know which is really cool yeah we're like heather hunter and stuff like that

she was like the 80s yeah but uh we were like we i get a bunch of them but yeah the new ones there's just so much like i don't even know how you become a star today there's like some people call themselves porn stars and they're on just only fans yeah yeah so it's like i don't know what the thing is. I also like watching the most amateur of amateur porn. Yeah, me too. Like really like home video shit even. This is the best because they're,

it's funny the guy, Ray DeVito's comic opening for me this weekend and thinking he has a joke about, he's like, what's cuckold porn? I don't get it. He's like, and he could describe it on stage after him, be like, it's the best. It's because of some lady with a, definitely a woman you could pull.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So there's a realistic, and that's like mom bodies sometimes. Yeah. Very regular looking chicks. I come across those in hotel. Yeah. And their husband's just filming three,

four black dudes coming to pound their wife. And it rules. And you can tell it's real like when you do come across one where it's just the dates on the bottom like it's a birthday party oh yeah i gotta read this fucking ad oh yeah we gotta do a manscape thing real real quick you guys can keep talking we got we got six minutes i don't know i like that i like the the stuff is good to apply i don't like when they start making the dude like eat that come out of her pussy i made that sure to make a note of that too when i said that to the crowd i was like also there it does get to where the guys comes to eat the comment i check out there yeah dude i'm

not there i'm at that place i also said if i put the place like uh in the thing though i go i'd much rather i see i could see the sexy and seeing your girlfriend get gang bangs yes as far as that as i see that i definitely can't put myself in the place of like a guy sitting in a corner watching me fuck this i can't be the other guy i can't perform it i can watch it yeah but that's like the voyeuristic thing. We talked about this. That happened to me once in Boston. Well, a guy watched you fuck.

Yeah. Well, I made him go in the bathroom because I was like, I can't do this. Yeah. I was like, it was like 3 a.m. I'd been drinking all night. It was like after a show. And this girl was messaging me and I was like, come to my hotel. She was like, no, you come to mine.

And I went over there. She was like right next to mine and i went over there she was like right next to me i went over to her room i get like in the elevator to go up with her and she's like uh by the way i have like a friend with me and i was like all right sick that's good nice more than married right outside the door she was like it's a guy. And I was like, oh, all right. And we went in there and like they like made me a drink. And I was just like sitting there talking to this guy. They had both come to the show and they were like saying nice things about the show.

And then and then he was like, I'm going to go get some juice. All right. He left. And then I was like, what do we what is this? What's happening here? I was like, I thought you were going to grab his juice. Yeah, I was like, what is this? What's happening here? I was like, I thought you were going to fuck. She's going to go grab his juice. Yeah.

There was a camera. There was like a phone they had like propped in the windowsill. And I was like, what is that? And she's like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. She took that down. And then I was like. She goes, son of a bitch, it's a goddamn phone.

What's happening over there? Filming us? I'm going to go talk to my friend. Dude, yeah. I'm going to be back? I'm going to talk to my friend. Dude, yeah, so. I'm going to be back. I'm going to get some juice too. He left and then I was like, what are we doing? And then she just turned the lights out and like came over and started blowing me.

And I was like, all right, this is cool. And then he came back into the room and like, she's just blowing me on the bed. I got guava. I was literally laying there with my hands over my face because I was like, this is probably this is some grainy like night vision footage of me. I need to blow down right here. I'm just going to do this. And then he walked around the bed and was like standing over from over me.

And I was like, hey, man, you got a lovely penis, sir. Get the fuck out of me and I was like, hey man, you gotta- You got a lovely penis, sir. Get the fuck out of here. I'll do that. You got a very lovely penis. Yeah, I was like, dude, can you, can you get out of here? Can you please leave? And he walked over to this like couch and sat down

and I was like, dude, I can't, I can't do this. I can't, can you go in the bathroom? And he was like, I'll do whatever- Shawna wants. Yeah, Shawna tells me to do. Are you safe, Shawna? And I was like, Shawna, Shauna tells me to do. Are you safe, Shauna? And I was like, Shauna, can you tell him to go? Can you keep the juice, Shauna?

Can you please tell him to go? She goes, Brian, go shit. Yeah, yeah. What the hell? Does daddy want mom to do it? Yeah. Beep, beep, beep. Can I suck his pee-pee in the bed, dude?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, and then she blew me and I like ran home. Yeah. Did she go to the show the next night? No. I've never seen her again. Probably. One time when I opened for a tell at Mohegan Sun, a couple afterwards was like, it was

so funny too. It was this like big, heavy set lady with like her like, it's like that odd like thin in in shape like white trashy kind of hillbilly kid and uh and afterwards like yeah she wants to hook up with you or something and he came back and like i think he fucked her while she blew me and i just would that was getting one of the situations where you're just like this isn't my jam yeah yeah i'm gonna let her finish yeah that's like the travel park 10 but it's not because anyone's ten. It's just one guy's super skinny. The other six. Real fucking.

It's the whole thing with cops. The show Cops is always that is like he hits me. He's like, you can probably take that guy. Yeah, yeah. It's like he's like, that guy's punching up. Yeah. You got your dates. You want to plug or anything you want to plug? Just big J. Comedy dot com.

I'm all over the place. And then they always for here i'd like to say i'm always doing a thanksgiving weekend they had me doing helium now in philly i did it last year i'm doing it this year again so it'll be wednesday um it'll be wednesday night and then friday and saturday and then sunday there's not going to be a show if it says on the website that's a mistake because uh but it should be fixed by now because that night uh said sunday night 820 game green bay yeah at philly yeah so i'm going to that game for sure yeah i'm actually going to that game too hell yeah i'll come by to see the shows as well yeah i get access to like some vip shit too we can go uh stuff yeah hell

yeah that's how i'm goingina bring my mom to that game i think hell yeah fun all right this is brought to you by manscaped yeah yeah if you go to uh you get 20 off and free shipping with the code stuff island at manscape.com 20 on free shopping with the code stuff island also i gotta talk about the products real quick yeah all right let's you guys want to talk about you shave it up? I do. I do indeed. Are you regularly trimming? I'm a groomer. I regularly trim.

Yeah, yeah. But I got- When it comes to pubes. I got three, four weeks. Yeah? Yeah, three. No, probably once a week I get them cleaned up again. Wow.

I like them bald. Oh, see, nah, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, me too. I'm right in the middle guy. Just a little fade out, a nice bouffant. It's too much work. He goes, give me a two and two and three. Honestly.

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nail grooming kit. The kit includes stainless steel nail cutters, tweezers, and grooming scissors. 20% off, free shipping. Stuff file and code on manscaped.com. Sorry about that, man. Dude, that travel bag is pretty sick. The travel bag's great.

They sent you guys the pack? Oh, we got it all. The nose trimmer's sick. Is it? They got two trimmers. I used the trimmer for my face rather than my nuts because I did find the clips. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

You got a guard. Yeah. At first, I didn't know it didn't have clips. So you can do your beard with it. I can do my, yeah, my bejowl. So we're back, baby. Jay, thank you, dude. Absolutely.

Are you going to stick around for the page for a little bit? Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you like 21 minutes for you guys. All right. Hang out. Yeah. And then we'll have Burke sitting. Burkey boy. You can finish it off. We'll be right back. you dude yeah you stick around for the page for a little bit um yeah yeah yeah yeah and then while burke's sitting ricky boy you can finish it off we'll be right back