Stuff Island - Stuff Island #49 - dahmer cologne w/ Danny Polishchuk

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

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I think I would stick with piano longer than I would a guitar. I've tried the guitar. I'm like this is yeah The thing with piano though is you can get pianos for free Because a lot of times people are like just take it out of my house. Yeah, you just get tired of it How many wealthy Russians do you know? No, I'm not saying me in general I'm just saying like I know people who that's how they got their piano is they just went on like fucking Craigslist and someone's like Just take this thing out get this fucking thing I'm like they just grab a friend with a van and they go we have a piano now yeah oh i don't know then you gotta have a place to put it that too and you have to have neighbors

who are like not yeah see that thing would just be a giant charcuterie board for me i would never touch the keys yeah i think i too. It's like one of my dreams. I think the coffee. One of my dreams is pulling up into like a Holiday Inn fucking, or a nice hotel. Dude, man, where was I just actually? Oh, there was, fuck, I was at an airport in,

in Rome actually. An airport in Rome and at the terminal, they just have a piano there. Yeah. Like at the gate and people just go up to, and I kind of wanted to be like,

go up there and just be like wanted to be like go up there just be like yeah just all the fucking play hot cross buns yeah but imagine if you could play how many wop ladies you could impregnate that same night dude if we could both play piano it would be be nonstop making those fake videos where like... Oh, yeah. Somebody walks in. Just randomly walk up and then they do like a... You just see me in the background just wearing a top hat and a mustache like...

What is this guy up to? He's got talent. Oh, that would be all the time. Big day. Big week for Philadelphia, boys. Big week for Philadelphia, boys. Big week for Toronto, boys. No. We're not going to talk about the Sixers.

No, I'm talking about the Blue Jays. Did you see the Blue Jays? Yeah, I saw the Blue Jays. Congrats. We also don't want to talk about them either. They fucked us. Dude, I literally messaged my girls. He's like a crazy base.

He's a Yankees fan. And then they were up 8-1. And I go, fucking beat down. He goes, dude, that was a stupid thing for you to say. He goes, I've seen leads evaporate quicker bigger leads I go nah man and then dude third

biggest uh deficit like yeah ever yeah in the playoffs wait what happened I didn't see it the Yankees

no game two of the Jays Mariners the Jays were up 8-1 in the sixth inning and the Mariners came back yeah I saw a video of Mariners fans

celebrating yeah they were the three guys in the car dealership what did you watch long enough for the fat bike Oh, yes. And the Mariners came back. Yeah. I saw a video of Mariners fans celebrating. Yeah. They were the three guys in the car dealership. What, did you watch long enough for the fat black guy? Yeah, the fat black dude. He got to turn the dog king in. Damn. Jolly fat black dudes make every scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Toss one in. That was... Anyway, happy Columbus Day. Happy Columbus Day. Guys, I'm Canadian. Yeah, I know. So I have no... Allegiance. No real allegiance to Columbus. Although it's... On Twitter, it's more Indigenous happy Columbus Day. Happy Columbus Day. Because I'm Canadian. Yeah, I know. So I have no real allegiance to Columbus. Although on Twitter, it's more Indigenous Peoples Day now.

Well, yeah. You know what crazy is? I moved here three years ago. There was no talk of Indigenous Peoples Day. No, it's what? It was just Columbus Day. There was a Columbus Day parade right when I moved here. All this stuff.

And now they're like, three years later, COVID, Columbus Day's over. Dude, no one's safe from the hard left woke. Nobody. Some fat bitch in purple bangs will take your god do you see i don't know if it was boston or philly but they know they put a huge box yeah and then they painted it with the italian colors it's so crazy i was gonna go there this morning before i left i was gonna go visit this morning before I left Just get down on one knee yeah drop one tear like that Indian It's funny

That's what's weird he's Spanish. No he's Italian, but he was he was he was a person he ever even spoke Italian They say well, I was reading I quit Chris Italia's thing. He's from Genoa it's cool. He's not a big Well, he was boy because he was born there and then he left immediately. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think his dad might have been Italian at one point, but they were full-on Spanish. Well, one thing that's funny. And he was fine in the Spanish colors when he landed there.

It's undeniable that he could fly a canoe. The boy knew what he was doing. The guy can't sail, okay? He left a grease slick, whether it was Spanish or Italian. And you guys owe just as much to him as we do. Maybe. I don't know. We don't talk about Columbus.

Like, he comes up for, you know, one week in high school, and that's about it, man. Who do you guys credit with the founding of Canada? Well, we have, like, all the founding fathers who I'm so bad with this. There's like John A. McDonald.

You guys have found John A. McDonald? Seriously? You guys have found him? Just three dudes are like, what's his name? No, this is, oh, this is. It's like. No, nobody fucking anyone.

No, no, no. This is gonna be. Dude, it's all like about the, like in, in high school or in Canada, you learn all about like the fur trade and how the fur trade started in Canada. It's literally all like beaver pelts. Like it's really like on the nose with this stuff. They're all like, yeah, we like fucking beaver pelts and all like, and yeah, like Jacques Cartier and I don't know all these people who just like started Canada, but we don't.

Yeah. I honestly, I've for most of my life, I thought Canada, you know, it's interesting though. We do learn. It was a water park. No, no. I thought that was the line we beat the British back to. Honestly, we just... We just...

You guys were just... It was just like a part of North America. We were like, yeah... Yeah, you guys... We're giving it to somebody. That's what you guys got tired about. Like you guys go, you don't want to fuck with us. America was like, I know these two really nice dudes. And I love beaver pelts.

Give them the fucking space. Dude. And wait, the guy's name was Jimmy McDonald? was like i know these two really nice dudes i love beaver pelts give him the space dude and wait the guy was named was jimmy mcdonald john sir john sir john a mcdonald did he invent basketball up there oh man we have a we have these things in canada called canadian heritage moments and they're like canadian propaganda like you guys have tons of them but we don't have we're like a little more humble about that stuff so we don't really like but we have these commercials and it's the commercial of him inventing basketball like any canadian who's watching this right now knows exactly what i'm talking about yeah they would just play and they go like here's like a sick thing from canada

yeah and it would be like he's playing in this like ymca and some they're throwing the thing in the basket. But then the guy has to go up the stairs. He then, so you make a basket, the guy walks over, puts a ladder, goes up the ladder, gets the basket out. And then the guy goes, then we gotta cut a hole in the bottom of this peach basket. And then the farmer goes, but I need these baskets back. And then the, and then the compromise is they cut a little hole and then once the ball goes in he takes a broom

and he goes this guy still has to go over and but you're like your peaches are still falling through this hole yeah but then you put the broom and you go like that yeah pop the ball out and then what happened that's the end of it and then Michael Jordan was next he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like

he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like he was like destiny no no we had to do it for you you got to do it for us no they're we they taught us like you learn you go like watch out for america because like they think that this is theirs oh like given by god yeah yeah well what is it what's the canadian like where do you guys what's your story what's your like what do you do this sounds make you feel better than everyone else? That's the type of question I ask when my head hurts so bad.

I just kick off with a volleyball question. I'm like, tell me the story of Canada real quick. It's like a hungover teacher playing a movie. Guys are watching a movie. Well, if you didn't have to manifest destiny. Well, we can't. We're not about that. How did you get across?

From where? We're a colony. destiny well we can't we're not we're not about that how did you get across from where how did you we're calling we're calling you guys are like the black sheep of of england and we were like the the good boys who came over and yeah like with the queens on our money you were the good altar boy took every fucking inch call me queen call me queen yeah so were you guys upset why we talked about a little bit on your pod yeah does anyone do you know anyone that gives a fuck about the queen i've had i got friends of friends that i've heard like get upset when there are like older ladies who are like into the monarchy like but you they're into it like you're you celebrities and stuff. It's like celebrity worship more than... Yeah. Is it still in your shit, though?

If you go into... What do you guys have, a parliament? Yeah. If you go in there, is there British flags and shit? Oh, no. But I think the old flag of... I don't know if it's on... The old Canadian flag, I believe, did have...

What is it? The Union Jacket like the corner of it like and then we got we went to the Maple Leaf dude when I went to Ireland the capital building in Dublin

still has like like an old king's chair in there and shit I mean dude what the fuck is this they sold us the fuck out of here

yeah they own it all yeah I don't like it it's like you're supposed to be like us we don't have any royal stuff said like a true American you know fuck this fuck this I don't like it. It's like, you're supposed to be like us. We don't have any royal stuff. Said like a true American. You know, fuck this shit. Fuck this.

I don't like it. I want to be like one of those Irish TikTokers doing the fucking, the jig. Yeah, yeah. They have those. What do they call it? It's a jig. I think it's a jig. Yeah.

The best is the American guy, though, like from like Missouri or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That dude, he's like. He's really, yeah. He like blew up. That guy is so famous. For like clogging. That's's what he is he's a clogger i know and then they're like they tried to make it like because everyone started accusing him of cultural appropriation that's like that's the first that's the first missile that comes out anytime some bumpkin gets famous. That is something like, dude from, like, The Sticks is getting, like, famous for dancing.

Yeah. Dude, you stole that. I don't know where from, but you definitely stole it. We're going to look into it. We're going to throw it out there now. In three months, we'll know. They do that shit still at, like, in, like, Delco bars. They'll take, like, it's the most embarrassing shit in the world because the parents are, like, proud.

So they'll bring out this little fucking Peggy or megan or whatever their fat name is and they line them up in the middle of like a a big big big menegmans or whatever this shitty little dance and the kids suck they're not even they're not even aligned together one one chunkers like in the corner playing with like a basketball and then the feet aren't even together and the parents are like, oh, this is great. Yeah, he's fucking beautiful. Oh, this dude is like, if you look, his head never moves. Yeah.

Like the whole body's moving, but the head is like. That's impressive. It's like a good golf swing. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's like, he's like totally silent right there. And then it's just.

Dude, he did. He did try to, because when he got hit with the cultural appropriation stuff he was like nah this is actually like an old white person thing yeah chris if you just walk down here i'll do the gritty when we come out on stage dude shout out to everybody came to see us in Philly and healing that shit oh yeah yeah we did a show in Philly that was great yeah yeah fantastic which one oh yeah yeah dude the Philly boy like just the Philly crew yeah that's like a real verifiable like scene like it's like uh like, you know how there's always, you hear about old musicians and stuff,

and they had this pocket of thing like this? Yeah. It's like there's the Philly thing. Hell yeah. Oh, man. Thanks for the words. So much pressure. It only took 10 years, 14 relationships, one arrest.

Yeah. You know, just grind it. That sounds like the Richard Pryor story, essentially. I'm not burning my face on crack yet. That'll be the fun part, the fall. Yeah. I can't imagine. Just everyone going to pieces.

Did you ever hear that Richard Pryor story of him when he popped off? When he got, like, his first, like, when he was making the most money. Yeah. He had this, this like mansion in Beverly Hills and he had no furniture. This is secondhand, had no furniture. And you didn't, he didn't tell you.

I wasn't there. Sucking on a passive. Some of the details of this might be. I haven't slept in like 40 minutes. I'm on a delay right now. So there's a couch in the middle of this fucking palace, and the table was just a mound of cocaine. He's ass nude, answers the door,

because he asked an opener to come by. Yeah. He was like, yo, stop by my house. You want to go come hang out? And the opener comes in, and he apparently just like open the door and there's like four naked girls you know eating each other's bunker or whatever the fuck he just goes you want you want to come in he goes work on it for another 15 years

and this slams the door in his face really yeah just out of his court Wow That guy was like so excited Yeah, right right off. Yeah. Yeah get better I forget the line the line was five probably should have known the line before I said that dumb story But dude, it must it's kind of sucked to you fucking nuts? In puny. Oh, my God. You honestly pull your chest to take a pill. Robert Wagner literally just killed a woman. Everybody knew about it. Nobody cared.

There's no like woke police or anything. It's true. Woke police? You literally, there was no police. Yeah, there was no police. It's so true, dude. You can do anything. You're right.

All in all, net positive. The only thing I was going to say is that when you started telling that story, I thought it was a sad story. Because if you lost your fucking Rolodex or whatever, it's like, who do you call? Well, I guess they find you. I guess if you're fucking king shit. Yeah. They'll figure it out. If you're in your house, you got a pile of coke.

There's six naked girls next to him. Yeah, were you going to share what you think your house, you got a pile of Coke. There's six naked girls next to him. Yeah. What are you gonna show? You think I'm calling you? I would hope so. Just checking up on you, buddy. You good?

You good? You ever watch the Carlin doc? Yeah. Where he likes, he was like, he was just Coke and sing and he would lose his voice. Like he's like, he couldn't tour because he was just, all he was doing was by himself just so much blow and he was singing at the top of his lungs for like a week. And he literally lost his voice

to the point where he could not do comedy. Dude, incredible. Incredible. That's such a crazy thing. Well, I'm actually not really that big of a Carlin fan. He's all right. I saw him once. I actually saw him once.

What do you mean he sucked? I mean you mean he's good he has some good bits there's a lot of stuff where i'm watching it where i'm just like someone like posted a clip of his online and i was like damn he did rule and i like turned on a special and i was just like this sucks i hate this i can't i mean he had his years and stuff too but uh i saw him in like honestly 96 it's just an old man well actually he was like an old man doing an open mic in front of 2500 people like he walks on which is like a piece of like just like a legal pad and he walks on stage and he's literally just like does joke and he goes and looks at it and he's like comes back oh no i mean he's just like i don't give a shit well he didn't care he's like i'm just trying to like but he did have like he did

revolutionize stand up but a little like two of his specials were like whole oh huge yeah i mean even though the the dirty words or whatever the seven words you can't say like yeah i watched that recently still pretty good bit yeah yeah there's no question there's some there's some bang the best was like the curmudgeon years like when he was like in all black that fucking black turtleneck special i don't know what special that is yeah best was like the curmudgeon years like when he was like in all black that fucking black turtleneck special I don't know what special that is yeah

that was like the 90s off on the system and people were like I didn't think about it like that I didn't fucking and he's just demolishing America

yeah yeah and why we call ourselves the best I don't know I mean yeah I don't like that I don't like that you guys are

I also wasn't there I say it's not begrudgingly but I mean America is objectively the best yeah, that's why yeah That's why I never really liked his material Did you go back to Russia you fucking yeah, yeah, I remember watching like I was yeah huge comedy fan as a kid I remember watching that being like fuck this guy Yeah, coming up

Go somewhere else. Yeah. yeah go somewhere else and do this bullshit yeah it's gonna work do it in India you fucking pussy bitch too many wars he would have done well in Canada he just would not have had much of a career like the biggest comedian the biggest comedian in canada who doesn't leave canada which nobody knows nobody outside of canada who is who yeah who is it the biggest comedian in canada who doesn't leave canada if if quebec counts then it's mike ward this guy mike oh yeah i know yeah he's the thing is because in quebec they obviously they only speak french so they have their own star system that's like like their superstars are not really popular outside of quebec but within quebec are like hugely famous like they make tons of money they he just did a

fucking podcast at the bell center which is like where same size as like msg jesus christ podcast just talking holy 20 000 people live yeah i'll just relapse him and a couple other guys. Damn. Do you guys make fun of Quebec for just being like a piece of shit little backwoods French I mean, it is like the ultimate rivalry. No. That cadence sounds like you were at the news desk, you hit a wire, and someone's feeding you what the same is.

Could you imagine if we had a pocket of our country that spoke French? We decimate them. Yeah. No, it's a rivalry akin to any good rivalry you have here. Red Sox, Yankees, Boston, New York. It's like that. They just hate each other. But when you look at what they're doing...

Honestly, we don't really pay attention to them. I've been looking into this more than anyone in Canada. They're like their own thing like they don't speak english like there's a quack's pretty big and most of it people don't speak english at all really and like they were these are people who were born in canada yeah and they just they're like yeah we don't speak english and the queens on their money too oh yeah they don't have they almost left in 1994 95 he's a russian oh yeah yeah he's succeeded as well but yeah they like they almost left there was like a 51 49 vote and like uh really in 95 i think yeah but again it would have made no sense because you're like so whose money are you going to use

and what happens if i want to drive from ontario to like nova scotia like got to pass through a different country yeah yeah well there's there's a pile of euros in our hallway you see that yeah what the fuck what there's like four bucks

five bucks in euros as soon as you open the door yeah it's just fucking weirdo coins all hanging around there's a pile of euros I thought I saw a Canadian quarter there

actually felt a little disrespectful pick it up yeah yeah yeah buy your mom something nice is that a loonie a two dollar file a loonie no I think it was a quarter oh yeah there's like mom something nice is that a loonie a two dollar coin a loonie

no I think it was a quarter oh yeah there's like seven coins what was it a toonie or a loonie a toonie is a two dollar coin

and a loonie is a one one yeah okay loonie toons when I was a kid we had actually one dollar and two dollar bills I don't know why

they got rid of them yeah I love having paper money yeah dude it's nice yeah now I used to have to go wait in line for a fucking hour to get rent money because my landlord's a wop

happy columbus day yeah yo trust me you ain't getting a hold of him today that motherfucker's got sausage in every orifice he's doing he's doing the Italian jigging. Some VFW somewhere. No, but I've taken like an extra 200 hours out. I mean, it only lasts like three days, but it's nice. Just pulling out a wad. Oh, absolutely. The sunlight is hitting your face in such a romantic way right now. Let me tell you about Christopher Columbus.

It's going out the window. Yeah, I told God to give me the light when I wanted to talk about Christopher. Oh, yeah. It's going off the window. Yeah, I told God to give me the light when I wanted to talk about Christopher Columbus. My God. No, it doesn't. It is. It's like a scene in Top Gun or something. No, it honestly looks like one of these Renaissance paintings. It's like the light hits and the Renaissance through the window.

Yeah, I wish I slept three hours this week. I have something profound three hours this week. I have something profound to say right now. It's that I'm ruining the greatest lightning we've had since we started. No, I was worried about you. It's like there's nothing worse than being hungover and then having to stare into the sun. Are you kidding? It's a reset button.

Yeah, I feel like I would sober you up. Yeah. You ever done a cold plunge when you're hungover? No, I took a cold shower. cold plunge when you're hungover. No, I mean showers. It's like instant It's gone. Are you talking like like a body of water like a maker or just even like a A bath houses that make cold cold super cold near my place in Williamsburg. I went to once Yeah, they have like this little it's like it's like, you know You also hit the wrong one you moron

It's the door also leave You're getting killed. You also hit the wrong one, you moron. Let me do it. You're on the show. Let me do it. It's the door. Also, leave it. It's still the wrong one. Look at all the options. You got it. You're still putting it down. Yeah, no.

Open the door. You can leave the door open. Yeah, leave the door open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Open it up. You want to get hit? Now you got a perfect... Looks like an angel.

I got 30 seconds. This pig falls fast, you know. It comes down quick. That's the kind of stuff you don't get from a studio. If you're in studio, you don't get that kind of action. Oh, we don't even have windows. They're all covered. Our windows are absolutely covered.

Burke's just going to hold his hand up. We should do shadow puppets in there. I'm sorry, Danny. What were you saying? I don't know. I have no idea. Cold plunge. Oh, cold plunge.

Oh, cold plunge. Yeah, yeah. It's like a... Yeah, Russian bath. Yeah, kind of. It's something like that. Yeah. But you just like, you know, it's like 40 degrees like water.

That's crazy. I was like, we... I went there and i was really really hung over like i've done drugs and stuff and i was like you know fell about like mdma or something fell as bad as i could feel and then yeah literally 30 seconds i was like yeah good it's over that's what we're saying about like doing like a long run or a heavy workout after yeah yeah but i'm saying this is so fast yeah you have to do all the exertion like you're like oh man like if anything do the workout after that but this is 30 seconds i was, you don't have to do all the exertion. You're like, oh, man. Like, if anything, do the workout after that.

But this is just 30 seconds. I was like, oh, man. Do you ever do the Turkish thing? I used to live on 1st and 11th. There's one on 1st and 10th. I did it with the two brothers. I want to go there. Yeah, it's crazy, dude.

I heard it's awesome, yeah. I only went to the sauna. I went in the tub. It wasn't cold. And then they beat you with these fucking sticks. Yeah, the leaves, right? The leaves, yeah. Yeah, they, like, blast you with the leaves.

Yeah, and there's just a bunch of hideous jacked men smacking the fucking, like, small trees. You know what I mean? You know, like, that Eastern European ugly is, like, scary. Yeah, yeah. You just associate every Eastern European man for, you know, being on a moped and shooting you in the back of the fucking skull. Why are they so fucking ugly?

Is it bad water or something? It's incest. They're not sending their best, okay? It's incest. Also, people know decent looking people that want to do things they go towards the warmer weather you know so you can just leave you just figure it out right yeah i mean that's like you're this is some dude who's like a gremlin who's working inside of a bathhouse he loves it yeah He loves it. But I'm like, they didn't be like, he's gotta be ugly all day.

He's gotta get that out somewhere. Just eating his shit at a hot pool. You know how they say, like, you get wrinkles from moving your face so much. This guy was probably a beautiful angel. And then just fucking clenching his face, just whooping the fuck out of strangers. He just, he earned this gremlin mug.

And all the women look like gremlins too. They're like Eskimos. They all look the same. Yeah, yeah. Or Jews. Yeah, yeah. Pretty much.

Incest, it's dangerous. It is dangerous, yeah. There is a very Jewish look and Eskimo look. Eastern European, yeah, I guess 200 degree as well.

Except like there's like 1% of Eastern European. That are just, yeah. Yeah, like I don't think those guys at the bathhouse were like, hey hey you want to work the front desk or do you or you want to be back here we really want you on the team which is up to you what you want to do you got to work your way up here you can't just go beating strangers without putting in. Dude, that would be the number one thing I would do every day.

If I was truly rich, I would get fucking massages every single day. I don't know if you need a massage every day. I think there's real diminishing returns at that point. Sure, but there's got to be something they can do. You get a cold plunge. Yeah, a cold plunge. Those are painful. People putting their hands on me.

Oh, you want people to keep putting their hands on me oh you want people to keep putting their hands on me yeah put their hands just rub me down getting the muscles loose getting the blood flowing yeah i don't like it why not tb12 i'm a ball of fucking i'm a huge tumor like i'm a ball of tension that can't be bursted ryan's the same ryan's literally like he i think he tried to get a massage once for like two minutes and he's like scream stop he goes i hate this yeah there's no i go it's supposed to like, he goes, I hate this. It's supposed to be painful. He goes,

no, I don't like this. There's a place on Apple. It's called Apple something. It's got a real shady name. Like they're going to beat you off with their mouth. Yeah. It's right here on Steinway.

And I went with two friends and everybody got their Bulgarian bitch. You know, mine was giant rock biter, dude. She had a head bigger than sodas body like a cigarette machine it was unbelievable i come to find out everybody gets this hot rock treatment yeah and i was like i got a lot of rocks there's rocks. There's a space in between the walls, I guess, because you can yell for help or look at ambulances. I'm this chick. That's if you change prices.

What's up, nice kid? Nice kid. I think you're getting out. Yeah. There was just a pole, and this fucking meat wagon walked on my spine. She was like 220. Just a big broad. Oh, she got up there?

Aligning my spine, holding a water pipe. See, I got a massage in LA. And up there like she's aligning my spine holding a water pipe see I got a massage in LA old Applebee's on stage in LA same thing but it was like 120 pound Asian woman so yeah but yeah yeah kind of way you go that I think you when they're hungry she really has the leverage without the... When they're 120 pounds in Asian, you slowly turn over. No, she was like 60. Still pretty good. Yeah. No, I did one of those and the face thing was not right.

There was an edge that was not padded. And so I was just getting like... I literally thought it was cutting through my face, but I didn't want to be a bitch. Yeah. And stop. So I just hung in there. Don't they put a towel like around the outsides well there's a pad and your face goes through the middle right they don't do a towel on top of the pad just like for sanitary i'm not at this place yeah

dude hiv days were wild. Yeah. Like 90s, early 2000s. I was in college, so anytime I thump around campus, I'm looking at like, I'm Googling like, what does HIV look like? What are the early signs? I was checking my tongue. I got light spots in the back of my throat. Was it light spots?

Do you ever notice, because I don't know if recently, but not that long, like if you watch like a Monday night football game or like Sunday football, the amount of ads for HIV medication. Oh yeah. Yeah.

It's new. In fact, But like is that the target? Like are there so many more people with HIV than we think? Yes. Yeah, I think so. it's spreading amongst

straight men very fast because of the orgies and the big parties. I tried not to laugh at this because it's not a joke. What are you talking about? The advancement of our society is we're prone for straight people to be exposed to this. So Bobby was telling me you should fucking as straight men gay Bobby from the block

yeah he was like you need to get this medication I was like okay as soon as he walked off I was like get the fuck

yeah I'm not taking these pills every day yeah it's like a it's a yeah it's like what gay people take

to not get HIV yes but it's there's like now there's a more less formal I guess I don't know

I gotta know I gotta know the numbers there's one just has a little I guess. I don't know. I got to know the numbers. There's one that just has a little mohawk and a switchblade on the side. Just for us. I got to know the numbers. The amount of people in America who have HIV where you're like, that's the demo, Sunday night football. Not like America's Got Talent. I don't know.

I guess it's just also money. It's pharmaceuticals. It's like, who gives a fuck? They're not worried about what's hockey. But I still think they're like, you don't see a canestin ad on fucking football. True. Maybe there's like an alternate strategy that like.

Yeah. So wild. Yeah. Where it's like, this is so the wrong place for this ad that people are going to be like, what the fuck is this ad about? And then they'll talk about it and it'll spread even more. Yeah., I'm doing it right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're helping. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, do you think there's a lot more people that have it than we think? Yeah. Well, you know how many fucking closeted gay men are locked in

a 50 year marriage going, what is this fucking bullshit just trying to watch the game jesus christ i got like a all day long i go you see this now i'm going to my big eagles game yeah the dommer the dommer show was also maybe a like uh you know an ad to get some raise some awareness for you know just don't go home with weird Hicks. He was drugging them though Yeah, yeah, that's why Nobody knows his moves. I don't think the documentary shows how good he could dance That's your one coral Crazy breakdance. Just admit he was irresistible.

He smelled so good. Dude, if Dahmer just hits himself with Jakar in those days, that's all you need. I got fucking numbers wearing Jakar. I didn't have to say a word. I just winked like an old sailor. Just take a lap around the dance floor. Put up a flag. Then I'm eating HIV medication.

I'm in a fucking free clinic outside Temple University. Oh, I'm prepped, baby. What do you think about a fucking crossover prep dom or commercial where when he goes to drug the drinks, but he's drugging it with prep. Oh, that's... It's a happy ending. He goes, here you go. And then it's just prep.

And then it's like a happy ending. That would rule. But you think it's like, oh, yeah and it's about like treating your partners with yeah yeah yeah mix them up a little bit with his finger you gotta You got to support your ass. Wow, Michael's. Holy fuck. What else? Oh, just watch.

The Mets got the dicks kicked in. Yeah. You know what? We're going to see KFC on Wednesday, and I'm trying not to be that guy. He was. But his whole online persona is shitting. Shout out KFC. We'll talk about it later, Kev. He's shitting on the Phillies publicly.

And I don't do that because I'd love to. Is that the main rivalry? Is Mets, Phillies, and then Yankees, Boston? Yeah, Yankees, Boston, and baseball. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty big. It's not as big as Yankees, Boston, and baseball, yeah. I was going to say for baseball. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty big. It's not as big as Yankees, Boston. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Any team that's a... The only reason the Eagles-Cowboys get so much is because Cowboys is America's team and Yankees is America's team. But, yeah, I try and avoid that because I know it's going to bite me in the fucking ass, especially with two teams like Philly and New York. Yeah.

It's like, dude, you're fucking you're fucking, you're writing checks. You're about to knock ass. I know. I know. But there's a, there is a piece of me that I kind of like wish that maybe I did more of that, you know, talk a lot of shit. Yeah. Well, I don't, I don't get animated about the stuff.

And also it's like, I know the Mets are going to take it. They're going to, they're going to get. Oh, yeah. When? What? Oh, I know. I'm taking it on the chin. Yeah. I'll take it yeah it's dude I've watched enough met season everyone was like this team's different I was like let's just get let's get close that was literally like 10 days ago everyone was like this team's different they had a huge comeback that like it was like they're looking good then they got absolutely buried by the Braves they only need to win one in the brave series right yeah yeah and it was yeah and they didn't but who's

filling Atlanta yeah that's gonna be night go you but fun the fact that we even got there let him for its flesh team pain over the fucking average is I mean you got the starters wrong we kind of shot I mean that we even got there Let them fucking splash Champagne over their Fucking average asses When the starters were on We kind of shot I mean that means You got three playoff teams Basically And who knows what the Flyers

They're not that bad If we get a little more Bullpen support And the Eagles are the best team Yeah but even the Eagles It's like I'm not I'm nervous You know

It's a long year Also football is only one game There's so much more to lose You don't talk shit about that. You just go, there could be. I don't know why. For some reason, for me, baseball feels like the biggest crapshoot to him. Yeah.

It's just the amount of games. Games, yeah. The amount of things that could potentially go wrong. Exactly. And baseball, your closer sucks for three days, and you go, that's it. 100%. Yeah. We had this conversation not too long ago, I remember, talking about like, it's the hardest sport.

Yeah. It's the hardest sport to close out. Yeah. I mean, if the physical, you know, output on your body with like, with every other sport, football, baseball, hockey. Dude, yeah. Or I'm sorry, football, basketball, hockey.

That's the hardest physically. But like you talk about like the odds, winning best of five series, like you said like one guy has an off game one pitch yeah i don't know if you saw that like the the jay seattle game or whatever like it all fell apart when this just dude hit this bloop like blooper and then george springer runs face first and bob Bobachet's knee. Yeah. Then three runs score. Yeah. They give up this eight run or seven run lead. Springer, like one of our best players, comes out.

You're like, oh, this is over. Yeah. It's over. Did the shortstop, he fucked up his arm too, right? He stayed in though. Oh, he did? But Springer like hit his head or something, came out. But you're like, Springer is like, you know, most clutch player. Yeah.

Like one of the best like playoff players. He's incredible. Ever gone. You're like, he'd be out for the next game anyway if you guys would probably yeah it's concussion

but the way I feel about it too is like even if they got that point even if they won that game you're like you're not gonna win maybe you'll win the series you're not gonna beat the fucking Astros

well that's how we are now with the Braves it's like look it was fun you never know though momentum's a big thing in baseball yeah

it's another excuse to get fucking blacked out I don't know They're fired up They're fired up You gotta think about all the bartenders in barbacks in Philly

They're fired up Yeah yeah That's big money That's big money That's life changing That's getting on the spring Yeah That's

Christmas is different now For sure Because You win a car Yeah yeah yeah Because the Phillies made the playoffs Yeah for sure

Dude it's so It is crazy this season being so fucking long I had a thought the other day You win a car. You win a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the Phillies made the playoffs. Yeah, for sure. Dude, it's so crazy. It is crazy this season being so fucking long. I had a thought the other day. Like, I was in, I went to a Dodger game with Meki. What felt like two years ago. I was like, no, that was this season. Yeah. That was just like the beginning of the season.

Yeah. It's a whole year. How do you possibly give a fuck? I mean, they play almost half of the days in a year. Yeah, yeah. It's like literally almost half of the days in a year. Yeah, yeah. It's like literally almost half of the day. Yeah, pretty much. They're fucking nuts.

They don't get paid enough. They're all right. Yeah, they probably don't. We got to pay the ladies kicking around the old soccer ball. Ugh. They need equal pay. Do you guys have a big Philly soccer? No, we give so fuck.

Philly, I'd be like, nobody gives a fuck about soccer. No, we give so fuck. Philly's a big philly soccer no he gives a i feel like i'd be like nobody gets a about it philly's like a soccer hotbed in the u.s yeah it is no it's not a lot of talent comes out of philly a couple girls on the national team the ponytail was sitting there watching the philadelphia union and the philadelphia union is a good squad they were up like six now that's mls men's yeah and he's he's watching it on one TV out of like 17 and this is like you know we're listening to Joe Buck read his fucking diary for 30 minutes before the fucking kickoff everybody's like so locked in the football this one guy clearly was there since like 9 a.m. yeah whenever their game started the match or

whatever nobody gives a fuck he's a degenerate gambler he's like sweating the fucking white the coke off his nose he's watching the philly he'd be like i'm so yeah they're up six not for the year he's been against them got face the night before he was like I bet that they score seven goals he's like oh no he's there like oh my god it's gonna happen

you know nothing about soccer he just took the under he's like they're fucking me it is fun though I did go to one game the union is a good squad

like they're fucking yeah they're good I went to like in Toronto I went to like one two soccer games MLS yeah

that's fine it's like the atmosphere is one two soccer games MLS yeah that's fine it's like the atmosphere is good when they're like winning yeah it's like going to an aquarium yeah

I went once yeah exactly and you're like these are like you know I don't know what this would be equivalent to Europe

maybe like series like C team or something junior or something like I don't know none of them are good well no I'm just saying like

none of them are good enough to play in Europe or I'm just saying like, none of them are good enough to play in Europe or they would be. Yeah. Unless they're like the two guys who make like $5 million or something. What do they get paid?

They get paid like plumbers, like NFL football players in the 70s? It's like CFL basically if you guys know that, like the Canadian Football League. Yeah. But they have,

I think for MLS, there's three slots on every team where there's like, so you can get like the Beckhams and stuff. Yeah. Where there's like no cap on those like three guys. So there's like three you can get like the beckhams and stuff yeah where there's like no cap on those like three guys so there's like three guys can make like eight mil

a year wow yeah like three guys could be like big name european dudes who they bring over at the end of their career like wayne rooney or something pay them a ton of money to sell tickets and then everybody else is like has a pretty hard cap on like i don't know maybe a hundred grand wait is cfl still around fuck yeah dude really yeah the team canada dude no idea i had no idea do you remember when it came to america for a year yeah it was just hilarious you guys are monkeys with your hats backwards nobody knows how to play the game it's three downs it's what it's three downs yeah right it's just like the xFL. It's what?

Go seven yards or something? No, the CFL. No, so it's 110 yards. No, it's to go 10 yards. Look at it. It's like an NCAA playoff. Yeah. Dude, it's a 110-yard field.

Okay? It's a wire field. There's one extra player, so it's 12 on 12. But it's 10. But you only have three downs. So it's like you're punting on third down. Why the fuck do they do that? Because they're trying i guess not be the same as the nfl but like it is really like it's probably because there's something wrong with the nfl's product well no no like it's obviously all those guys are trying but it's like triple a football because

the queen was sleepy beeping to get everybody to bed all the time dude you want to know how funny like the cfl is and so a lot lot of the guys, they play in the NFL and guys will go to the NFL like it happens all the time. But I went to a season home opener. I think it was the Argonauts maybe four years ago because I lived really close to it.

You get 40-yard line tickets, 30 rows up for $10. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty sick. Yeah, it's like a barley. Yeah, it's like a barley. It's like going to minor league hockey games. But they all play. You look at their college. I'm sure they're great. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty sick. It's like a barley. Yeah.

It's like going to like minor league hockey. They all play like, you know, you look at their college. I'm sure they're great. Alabama. Yeah. I know these guys are elite athletes. No, no, no. But yeah, but they're just fun.

Yeah. It's fun. It's fun. The shit on something. But it's crazy. Like, you know, the damage that a football player takes, dude, like to really fuck yourself up for life. And you're like, you're doing that for like CFL money. it's not like it's like yeah dude i i forget every year that like like

i'm so excited for football to come back i always forget about like this this period of the season like i feel like it's always like week three to six you see all the concussions coming just just everyone gets it's great it was a bad one. It's like, dude, there's a guy like a last week or whatever. Oh no, not to, there's someone else. Uh, can't remember, but he like his, like his legs weren't working properly. Try to get out. There's someone else. No, there's, I know there's two of them or someone else. Cause two got hit, slammed the back of his head. And he got up and he was like, yeah, two weeks in a row. He was walking like a man. Yeah. You're you're good yeah if you had a few backspasms yeah yeah backspasms dude this year that was crazy

in this day and age they're so conscious of that stuff and then he's just like yeah go back in there champ yeah because they got no backup and they're worried about a win and then he goes get the worst they didn't win that game pretty sick he did yeah yeah he did come back and win that he's gonna be eating car keys and forget nobody in the plant he's gonna be out of this fucking with who's the who's the little wide receiver that played with Tom Brady for a long time Welker? Yeah, Wes Welker. He got so many. First of all, he started wearing that big fucking. He started wearing that. It was like a kid. It was like a T-dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That like Darth Vader helmet from fucking.

Spaceballs. Spaceballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rick Moran. Yeah. He was wearing that. Which I'm sure just like gives you such a target for every part of your life. Oh, yeah.

Like. But dude, he used to like, he would have to spend nights doing like, he would like, he would force himself to do crossword puzzles with his wife to like, just keep his brain. Yeah. Like he has to do that like every night. Dude, concussions are like dark. When you hear about like the stuff. Come on baby.

Crossword time. He's like, no, why are you crosswords? Dude, remember. This dude has like three Superbowl rooms. I know. I worked on this show in Canada. It was like this hockey poker thing and I was hanging out with Really dialing in

All like song he plays but remember Palafontaine, yeah, yeah, he was like a stud right? Yeah, I'm routine the runner the track Oh, yeah, it's it's inconceivable that you wouldn't fuck that game up i wouldn't say it so profoundly he was talking to theo i was like sitting beside him and he was talking to theo flurry who like yeah the two of those theo flurry has like the darkest story like he i i was like he was talking about this we were all playing poker one night he's like dude he's like i fucking got a they they fat i was in a cabin and they faxed me when he got signed on the rangers he's like they faxed me my contract i'm like in his cabin no reception i just have a fax 48 million dollar contract or whatever for four years or six something crazy right 48 million dollars he's like

it's all gone he's like i spent it on fucking hookers coke like just all gone or he's like totally like broke now. And he's become like, I guess he got like diddled when he was a kid. So that's his like new path is he's like, he does that. He's like, and he's like, this is like my path in life. So I overheard the two of them talking and Palafontaine was literally like, dude, cause he was getting concussions in the era where you're like, there was no such thing.

Yeah. Like it didn't exist. You didn't take time off. He just took one of the chins. He was like, yeah, he got fucking, oh, he got his bell rung. Yeah. Then he was getting back in there. no such thing yeah like it didn't exist you didn't take time off one of the chins then he was getting back in there and so he's like he's like dude he's like i sit in my basement with the lights off he's like i didn't i wouldn't shower he's like i didn't leave my basement for like a month jesus just sitting there in the dark chris you have concussions yeah yeah i get concussions whiskey i get concussed every night i'm trying to get one dude that's nuts i didn't know theo flurry fell apart like that oh theo flurry's like oh

yeah and now he's like a crazy anti-vaxxer and stuff so because he was in canada now and like he went to full like anti-government anti-vaxxer dude in canada well that's a sign of brain damage yeah no honestly i get the politics of it yeah but if you go like that hard it's like dude oh for sure you don't have to post he was a little he's a little guy like to play in the nhl when he played when they were still like fighting is he like ty domey's size yes but he doesn't have that like i, I've also met Tidomi. Like, if you meet Tidomi, you shake his hands. His hand is like a fucking, like, cement. Like, these giant hands that, like, don't really fit his body. Flory's just like normal hands.

Like, he's just like a normal-sized guy who's small. Yeah. Who just, like, he was so fast and, like, had amazing hands to, like, play in the NHL. Yeah, yeah. But, like, some of these dudes. He had a white slot. Yeah, like, I read Brad May, and I shook Brad May's hand hand and i was like his hand just like it's like i must have been like shaking jack's hand dude like insane he's like a regular size guy imagine getting fucking

hit with one of those things that's the first thing i thought yeah yeah i was talking to mckeever about this he said he uh that schultz's son was on like one of his uh yes schultz's son did stand up yeah it was he was acting in one of his sets yeah Schultz's son did stand up yeah he was acting in one of his sets one of his shoots and I met Dave the Hammer Schultz you remember Dave Schultz

on the flyers on the flyers of course like the Broadway bullies yeah okay well I shook his hand and it was crazy right

yeah and it's like it is from them like fighting yes just a giant swollen square that you can't even

you're a baby yeah their hands just get so big from just fighting Yeah, there's there's dads and stuff that get it if they're like we're construction. Yes It's like a type of you're just like wrenching shit Your hands get just fucking Overcooks a London broil I guess these guys were using like these giant like wood sticks too and like they're heavy and i don't know but yeah that's why you see old school like

baseball players their forearms because they were swinging like 48 ounce bats yeah just fucking lumber like a rope dude how do you burn through 50 million dollars i know oh dude that was like that was that contract yeah yeah that wasn't he was playing NHL for like, I don't know, 12, 15 years. Yeah. That was just one of his contracts. Dude, $1 million. I mean, half of it, living in New York City, half of it's gone. So there's $24 million gone.

That's why he hates the government. He's probably like, he's going through all his money. He's like, well, look how much they took. Yeah. I still have another $60 million. $100,000 is what dollars what 8,333 dollars a month yeah something like that

so 1 million that was impressive is 83,333 dollars a month 83,000 dollars a month for 1 million 10 million $33 a month. $83,000 a month for $1 million. Yeah. $10 million.

Yeah. $830 a month. What are we doing? Having fun, dude. What do you mean? Dude, that's insane. I think he said that. He needed an acorn amp.

Yeah. He had the classic bad advisors. They all rinsed them. Captain's robbing them. Everybody's robbing them, all that stuff. And that was before, because the leagues now, when you come into a league, you go meet with financial advisors, all this shit. They go, here's what's going to happen to you. If you do this, like save your money. They never did that before.

They're just like, yo, go have fun. Dude, it's crazy. Like, I feel like that's a big reason why like the mob is shrunk so much. It's just like, why would you join the mob when you could just join Citibank and rob people? You know what I mean? You make way more money and it's all like legal like those guys Carlin fucking stinks why'd you be in the mob would you be in a bank no you do know cuz you could be a you can be a mean thick Italian guy and just get like an Asian dude to

Do the numbers and just muscle people you're watching Sopranos I've been in corporate America, dude I know what corporate Canada's like. Dude, corporate America, dude, fucking... Dude, you were an editor. Yeah, yeah, but I saw the guys running the show. And they were... At the editing company? Dude, it was a healthcare... A lot of pinky rings. At a healthcare company. Hey Chrissy, we're gonna need you to do that thing. I'm telling you dude. We're gonna have to take you... The AstraZeneca in the bottom corner, we're going to need you to do that thing. I'm telling you, dude. We're going to have to take you to the AstraZeneca

in the bottom corner. We're going to bring it all the way up. Hey, Chrissy, I'm telling you. You got that bonus. The finance, we may be going out

for drinks after today if you're good. Dude, the finance world and, dude, healthcare, there's a lot of meatheads in there, dude. Yeah. Yeah, and they still

control the room. Like, they're just like, a room of meatheads in there, dude. Yeah. Yeah. And they still control the room. Like, they're just like... A room of people can't help but respond to like an aggro jacked guy. Yeah, dude. They just do. Charismatic WAP will demolish a company. Yeah, yeah. It's a problem.

It's a problem. It's a problem. It's vitiating our society. Actually, it's a cologne I'd like to borrow. Dude. There used to be a beer right here. Did you take it? No, I gave it to him. I already gave you one.

Oh, I didn't take the one you gave me. Oh, yeah. I thought you brought it over for him. I did. Do we have ads we have to read? Yeah, we got an ad. We're not done. We're not done?

Yeah, no, I think it's like, it's legalized, organized crime. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely that element to it. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, I'm okay. Yeah, no, you don't have to drink that. I'll drink it.

No, no, no, he doesn't have to drink that. Yeah, you don't have to. Nobody has to drink that. Just put it right here. Keep an eye on it. What's the worst job you've ever had worse oh i know for sure selling uh cutco knives whoa no question i honestly like door-to-door uh it was kind of yeah honestly i want to like almost write a thing about it because like it's a thing like a lot of people i think have done and know and then it's just it's such a

funny business because for sure there's like some family that just like owns it yeah it's not like some public company it's just like some family and they just they it's this whole i guess it's multi-level marketing like i'm sure a lot of people have done stuff in that vein yeah is there a fucking woodpecker back there Yeah, yeah. It's hard. For sure. For sure, dude, with his pinky ring. Dude, that was like the one. That's the clock for the podcast. That's when it lets us know. We need to read the ads. Yeah, yeah.

We do need an ad clock. He'd think he'd say something. You don't just edit them in? They got to go live? Huh? You don't edit the ads in? No, we make our guests suffer through them. It's a fucking 30-second talk.

Also, we'd like to get your opinion on Manscaped in a minute. So you're selling Cutco knives. Yeah, you know what those are? Yeah, they're knives. Yeah, they're knives. But I'm saying like, you know, specifically, like, did you ever know? Like, this is beyond my like, that was like door to door. It's kind of like door to door, but they mostly just want you to go through your entire personal

network versus like, you don't really go door to door. No, we had though Tupperware parties. same thing it's girl scout cookies yeah same concept no girl scout cookies are door-to-door and yeah and the thing yeah this is straight up like my aunt's had tupperware parties yeah yeah this is similar to that and you invite only people you know and you're like they'll be like yo you know call your these are monsters these are the these are honestly i think they are like i remember the guy who was like running it and like dude i was like i don't know that's vinnie the granny or something when i do this and he like calls you in and like like the promises they're making either yeah you know like we have people here they make 50 grand a month and i'm like what for selling

knives like and like because it's totally multi-level where you go like you know you get people beneath you and then they get people beneath them. Yeah. Like, like pretty classic multi-level marketing, but it was like, yeah, I was 20 and then you eventually prime. Yo, there's literally squirrels fucking like six feet behind my head. They are fucking. It's nice. It's nice weather.

It's fall weather. Let them go. Also, they're going to be holed up for months. They got to get the cummies out. Yeah. Yeah. Big, big big full squirrel nuts we got we got a cat that monitors that backyard too so then i might be in trouble they get caught fucking you're you guys have a cat no no it's a neighbor's cat oh that's nice to have a neighbor yeah dude i lived in this place once in toronto we had such

a we had this i had this old italian landlord and i had the worst mouse infestation I've ever seen in my life. Like literally I would just like come home and be like 10 mice on the floor. Yeah. And they wouldn't be scared. Like flip it through. No, they weren't scared at all. Dude, one time I have, I actually found a picture of this on my phone. I was like going through like old, like my drop box or something.

Just like seeing if I had any nudes stashed. And, uh, and I was going through and dude, there was, so I remember this very vague or very like clearly I went and I was in my kitchen and then I took a mousetrap and I was going through and dude there was so I remember this very vague or very like clearly I went and I was in my kitchen and then I took a mousetrap and I put it on the counter and I go I walk out

and maybe I took 10 steps and I hear snap after like I'm not 30 seconds right I turn back two mice in it

yes like that's how many mice I have holy shit they caught two mice instantly they get wise to the traps though after they do no they didn't but they had

to get like some of them they had to get like there just were so many and then his solution was he goes uh he goes hey i can uh how do you feel i'll get you a cat and i'm like i don't want a cat to solve this mouse problem go get like a exterminator i'm like i want a cat yeah but you want all your hardwood floors smelling like a terrible ipa no no but i mean it would have taken care of this mouse problem except for there'd be dead mice everywhere yeah like there was hundreds of mice in the walls and stuff and like yeah holy shit this is why you're selling coco knives no no this is like in true no this is 10 years later probably dude when i lived in uh in temple temple scape was, it was a shithole, obviously.

We had this one, it wasn't even a mouse, it was a rat. We called him Charlie. We named him Charlie. You could hear him fuck around upstairs when we're all hanging out. So we'd mute the TV. This dude had like a pounce to him. He had a heavy footed fucking, a tenon upstairs. This dude was like, I'm out.

You know what I mean? He would bite through my protein because I'd hide shit because you couldn't keep it in the cupboards. This motherfucker would just eat full slices of pizza. And then we'd have night watch, like Platoon. You ever seen the movie Platoon? Yeah. Where they were like, wake up. You up, man.

You up. And then he hands the rifle at Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen puts his hood up in the fucking rain. And he's like, trying not to nod off that's the whole baseball team watching their protein instead of

hunting the mouse we're protecting the protein it's our fucking ammunition though some guy falls asleep fucking jacked walking around

don't cooch you up so he he would literally he'd be playing videos like like this Like Shane Just dipping Grabbing a cup

And there'd be a rifle on both sides Of the couch And then anytime he'd be like And he would just slowly Like this Cause the guy would be inside through the kitchen And finally He got a flathead to Charlie.

Yeah. We got flathead pellets. Yeah. I was going to say, you have live rounds in the house? No. It's like, what do you call the bullets that kill cops and shit? Like arrow? What?

Hollow points? Hollow points, yeah. Like the flathead to a mouse? Later, Gator. Yeah. That dude ain't got a shot. And at least you're going to incapitate him he's gonna be knocked out immediately We had five dudes after we hit him with one. He was like squirreling around like fucking

And shovels and brooms trying to take this thing down. It's like good fellas. It was this big. Holy fuck. It was a full fucking rat that had an apartment chewed out to the side and a whole like little area like a cavernous area that like stored all his shit. It's crazy because those are like

in New York City you don't even blink if you see that. Oh yeah. Like I often think like if people have never been to New York like you just get so used

to it here but you're like most people would come here and be like what the fuck? Yeah. You just live like this? Yeah.. But you're like, most people would come here and be like, what the fuck? Yeah. You just live like this? Yeah.

Like this is, you don't, just the rats and the humans live in harmony somehow? Yeah. Their tails are as thick as like a 10-year-old's pecker.

Honestly, I feel like the people are worse than the rats. Yeah. The people are worse than the rats? Yeah, yeah. That's how the Holocaust

started, okay? Anyway, we should jump into the rats. Those are the people you see rolling around here. What is the end? That's about Munich. Do you use Manscaped?

I get around there. What? I get out and about there, down there, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I already use the brand Manscaped

okay but you have a trimmer I have a trimmer yeah right well that's good how short do you keep it not as short since I have a girlfriend

probably I like this yeah I don't know medium well it's more natural yeah I don't get led to go too crazy

yeah sometimes it just gets unsightly you know plus you can always use the extra length yeah yeah for sure dude Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I might get like a Brazilian laser a Brazilian laser. Yeah. Yeah, you just have a strip

Can you imagine Fuck did I heard about you on your podcast? Let me see that bird. And he had a tight, well-kempt undercarriage. It was funny if it was, like, not quite centered. Like, it was just a little off. That would have fucked up. Just on an angle. Just like David Bowie's fucking lightning bolt. Just having to explain that every time you get fucking late.

You should just have the queen etched out of respect. Yeah, yeah, that would be pretty dope. To get, like, a styled one. Yeah. Like they do in like a latte. Puerto Rican hair. Barbeque. Latte.

Latte. The hard one. Latte. Yeah, yeah. The really hard one. Going all the way up to your belly button. Get a clover. Dude, that would be so sick.

Anyway, you could do that with Manscaped 4.0. You want to put a clover on your ball sack? Oh, man. So you get 20% off and free shipping with the code StuffIsland at Manscaped.com. That's 20% off for free shipping with the code StuffIsland. One word, StuffIsland at Manscaped.com. Manscaped, clear out the leaves. It's tree trunks time to shine.

That's how actually i feel about it yeah i think they need a wider thing for the nose though the nose hair trimmer a wider one yeah i need more room for my hairs to get in the blades wait like when i go up in there is this part of the ad read no no we're just asking each other out wait why we're learning about each other it's maybe it's just me but i don't know there's some of us out there with like we got i got serious i got thick nose hair yeah but then you just manipulate it i know it takes so long i just want to stuff it in there and have it just grind everything to pieces you just want a weed whacker the weed whacker 1.0 brought to you by man scapes you just go inspired

by like Chris O'Connor see I like how fine it is cuz you get to you know move it around yeah the nose is very like I don't know like my I do that shit my eyes are just like watering down yeah yeah it doesn't pull though yeah it doesn't pull this now it slices is clean slice when it gets one but yeah it's very high potency is it like the one that's like the like the teeth kind of? Yeah, it's got this silver thing and that's just a blade that goes around like this and protects your skin. Yeah, that's good Yeah, I never used to use that shit. I used to go in there with those eyebrow shears that have like a tiny scissor with a curve Yeah, with the curve. Yeah. Yeah, I did that this weekend. I used it sometime too.

Because I forgot my... That's dangerous though because you clip the nose and then Then you're fucked then you just bleed now yeah that just looks like a cocaine injury yeah yeah then you have to make something up

like oh me and the Amazon guy butted heads does your nose the inside of your nose does it go forward a little bit on the inside does it like tuck forward yeah

yeah I think yeah all nose is like a little like it's not for me it's not like flat to the to the rim oh dude I gotta fuck Charlie can sit in the

front of my fucking yeah yeah yeah I got three mice like shut up I got the rim. Dude, I got a fucking... Charlie can sit in the front of my fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got three mice like that. Shut up. I got a little cabana there. I got a little... Yeah. A little cabana.

Yeah. All right, should we switch over to the page? Yeah, let's do it. I got to piss. Piss. Oh, hold on. Do you want to promote anything, Danny? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you can follow me over at Danny Jokes, Tuesday nights, uh, low value mail. It's a live calling show on YouTube, my YouTube channel that you can find a Friday boys cast with Ryan long. Nice. And sometimes I just started a couple of weeks ago on Thursdays. I do a show called the bath house.

That's a live calling show from the green room of the stand. Nice. What's that one at the stand? You like talk to comics and shit. It's literally, if you guys are over room of The Stand. Nice. What's that one at The Stand? You like talk to comics and shit? So literally, if you guys are ever there, come join. It's straight up. The first one was fun.

The second one was just, we got prank called for literally the entire show. They drop M-bombs. I mean, it's on YouTube. So like, we won't do it. No, no, no. But dude, it's like, it's on. You want to do that? I was going to speak on my experience. Well, the thing is, it's on YouTube.

Because people are like, you need a call. When Shane and I had our show. Oh, on Compound. Yeah, they're like, call in. You guys want to call in? I was like, what the fuck? No, no, no. That's not my...

No, they were all like 13-year-old style. Oh, okay. Where they were playing recordings off of YouTube into the phone. Like, you could tell they weren't talking. It was like, they were just playing a recording. Yeah. And then we started prank calling people. We were prank calling.

My hot rules. Yeah. Cause the thing is like, it's on YouTube. There's no rules really. Yeah. Like, like there's no fucking FTC or whatever.

Who's going to cancel us for saying shit. So I don't have a call screener and I don't know, just whatever happens, happens, but it's fun. It's fucking awesome. All right. See you in a bit.

Thanks for having me boys.