Stuff Island - Stuff Island #5 - Three Coats of Chapstick w/ H Foley

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

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You're fired up? Yeah, it's going. Oh, we're going. All right, let's go. Yeah. We got one of the greatest men I've ever met. Yeah. Yeah, this is sincere, you fuck.

Schwarzkopf? Stop laughing through it. Yeah, he'll be here in a minute. It's not you. I'll tell you that. I mean, your entrance is so foley to begin with. Because you got to ring the doorbell typically. And I hear him in the hallway apologizing to her upstairs neighbor. I don't know how the fuck he got in here I know he knows your name

who knows how did you get in the front he goes oh you're looking for Tommy and Shane I'm like what are you a fucking fed I had a fucking earpiece hanging yeah I know you didn't climb in the window I wonder how the fuck he got in here I just hear his voice echoing down the hallway Tommy knows everybody Tommy knows everybody around town That is one thing he's very good with. When you go, you know everybody. You get settled. I don't know their names. Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. You know the dry

cleaning guy. I do. You know Joe at your local tavern? A dry cleaning guy. I know the lady at C-Town. I know the guy that gives me our amino acids at the nutrition store. Armino acids. Armenian acids. Armenian.

How you doing, Billy? How's your mom? Good to see you. All right, thanks. See you, Miss Cameretti. You do have a very hometown vibe. You do settle in. You like to cook in here.

I'm excited to be in here and see this. It's nice. Who hung all, why is it looking like the Louvre in here? Yeah. This is to offset our sadness. It's like the Louvre, but a Buffalo Wild Wings. What is this? We got some nice pieces in here.

You got some Monet. You got some Manet. I see a Renoir, whatever that guy is. No, there's no Manet in here. I would never. None? No, I hate Manet. Who's?

Do you? I don't like him. Jesus Christ. You got an attitude towards a famous painter? Yeah. I didn't like his whole vibe. I don't like his painting. Real piece of shit.

He was. What'd you see? A clip of him online? I don't like his attitude. My favorite story ever is Manet. Manet. So I'm at the Met Gala

making a fool of myself. Real fucking prick. Dressed like he was from 300 years ago. No, I went up and said hello. He brushed me off like he didn't know me. Mr. Manet,

big fan. Okay, fuck you then too. Hey, big fan of your work would you excuse me we started together we started together he's still the Raven there's only there's only three

crab hors d'oeuvres left and the guy cocksucker took down with him whose motif is this who set this up Chris and I hung them all but this is all his stuff

yeah if you can imagine his room is a quarter the size of this and all these paintings were in his room who are you Bruce Wayne you if you can imagine his room is a quarter the size of this and all these paintings were in his room yeah who are you bruce wayne what the fuck yeah is that your room in the front because i peeked in the window no that's shane okay yeah yeah because there's a conquista door in there what are you doing peeking through windows i peek you walk up the steps you

ring the doorbell and that's it you stop talking to my fucking neighbors and you stop trying to figure out sideways to get in here i don't we gotta we gotta get a double lock now that's it. You stop talking to my fucking neighbors and you stop trying to figure out sideways to get in here. We got to get a double lock now. That's it. This is security. If he's getting in, this is a problem, dude. We got nice paintings up here. We got to protect.

I came into the doggy door upstairs. You can get into any building in this neighborhood if you're a friend of Tommy's. You know Tommy from C-Town? That's me. I got his amino acids for him. Isn't that coked up fucking whack ball?

Why are you saying that about yourself? We just did KFC and everybody's saying I'm on coke. Because I was hyped up. It's like this third hour we're there and you're doing Answer the Internet. So I just, you know, I picked it up a bit. But I am fidgety as fuck. Is it everybody saying that or a couple of comments?

Dude, he couldn't stop applying Chapstick is the problem. People that enjoy cocaine were probably saying that. You know what I mean? Wait, what about Chapstick? He couldn't stop applying Chapstick the whole time. He kept pulling Chapstick. It problem. People that enjoy cocaine were probably saying that. You know what I mean? Wait, what about chapstick? He couldn't stop applying chapstick the whole time. He kept pulling chapstick. It's a nervous tick.

That's how they caught me at my brother's wedding. That's a dead ringer right there. Middle of summer. I got three coats of fucking Mr. B's on. Meanwhile, you're the best man on the altar.

Sir, I can't finish this sermon If your brother Just continues to put chapstick on Chapstick would do anything No chapstick You gotta put the chapstick down Don't worry about what they say You guys did

That's right You guys did great And everybody loved it From what I understood Well it also didn't help That a bunch of pills Fell out of your pocket I take multivitamins

You fuck No It's multivitamins. I take Makaru. Tim Bartley got me into this Makaru. Apparently it helps your sperm as an older gentleman. Jesus Christ. He's like, you shoot ropes and you generate more sperm quickly.

That's Ukrainian for Vicodin, by the way. Makaru. Nobody takes vitamins in the middle of the day. You psycho. Hey, you guys need any Makaru? I couldn't be more on Foley's side of this No vitamins Don't talk to anybody Nobody takes that

During the day You gotta start Taking vitamins What are you talking about This is new you Take it in the morning Like a human being No you gotta take it

With a meal I don't eat Until later in the day I'm not free based You don't wake up Until later in the day Yeah shut up You know what

We got a fucking guest here You're busting my nuts Yeah He turns quick He does dude As soon as we fucking Start the podcast. I'm talking about you, psycho.

Oh, that's true. That's true. As soon as we have a guest over, he dresses up. Look how nice he looks today. This is dressing up for a comic. You know what I mean? Everybody else looks like a fucking cat burglar. He's wearing a snow hat.

I just started kicking these. It crazy you do your you do your hair you're considered like a fucking runway model yeah with all our friends because they got like funny they got old cheese it's in their belly button and their hair's all fucked up looks like they slept on i'm trying to up my game these days i picked this up i'll want them all in fucking waikiki yes dude trying to look oh how look cool. Oh, how was Hawaii? It was nice. Yeah? We had a good time. It's RVCNT. Yeah, yeah. You're a skater. I don't know, whatever it is. I'm a big skater now.

The kids are wearing it on TikTok, so I'm wearing it. I'm not going to lie. I still thought that that was a VCR company. RVCNT. Yeah, yeah. These boys are in everything. Yeah, dude. I really do.

The first time I saw it. I'm trying to get my beak wet and everything. You've got to try this VCR company, Spandex, dude. They are fucking light out. That's what I, when I first saw that brand, I was like, oh shit, they're jumping. Yeah. Yeah, they're jumping. Make a hell of an empanada.

I can take that. There's a whole world of skateboarders that love VCRs, dude. No, they do. That was a big part of skateboarding is, you know. Playing back your tapes? Yeah. What are you having? And why are you having it out of a little chalice?

Yeah. Why do you, this is a quality beer. It's called King soap. This is for, for beer nuts. They're going to understand this is a very nice beer. This. Oh, that's why you gave me this. Yeah.

That looks nice too. That's also very nice. That's 20, that's $25 for four beers. Is that RVCN? That's great. It is. That's what it looks like. Visible spectrum by RVCN. That's Finback. That's That's what it looks like. Visible Spectrum by RVCN. That's Finback.

That's a Finback's a good brewery. This is a wonderful brew. And now, is that your grocery store over there? C-Town. If you go to their Instagram page, it's all beer picks. The guy's a fucking beer store. Is that an IPA? I swear to God, yeah.

It's a double IPA. I think you're supposed to drink IPAs out of the can. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to pour them out. Never. Never. I don't, out of respect. Out of a can or a bottle.

This is a tool to let it breathe and come to temperature. You're not supposed to drink them cold. You're supposed to drink them like right around room time. These are room time.

That's lame. All I know about IPA is you're going to get two in you quick. You don't want to get caught in the middle of no man's land. Half an IPA. Yeah, why?

You feel like you just got fucking radiation or something. I say it all the time. I have one IP't do you feel like you just got fucking radio radiation or something i say it all the time i have one ipa i feel like i just had chemo it's the best i need two to get across the river pay the boat man keep it moving i'm off the wall you were so funny in houston man we had fun oh my god now connor saved us he did yeah you were on like three tabs of acid you were you're like the funniest stepdad I've ever fun. Why you know what you work for the school newspaper? You can see your ass here. They did acid. Yeah, Tommy was on acid as well

Alright, but here's the thing remember the whole time he was trying to act like he he was giving us the fucking Karen Hill Babe in the Woods routine. How long does it usually last? I don't usually take. You fucking dirtbag. What are you talking about? I swear to God I haven't done Essendon's high school. You were tripping the night before on some bootleg molly. Well, that was different.

That was mushrooms. And then we had molly. Yeah, we had a nice little four days. The first night we were there, we had the worst trip ever. And then we both were like, we're not taking anything the rest of the trip. Take it easy. And then we go to Skank Fest the next night. And the next time I see Tommy, he's like, I'm on two hits.

Everybody took him. Oh, it's the best. Everybody did take him. I know. It was a good time. It was. I got a new outlook on acid. I'm an acid guy now.

I was a solid gravy guy. I'm an acid guy now. Never in a can. Never was a good time. It was. I got a new outlook on acid. I'm an acid guy now. That was a solid career you guys did. I'm an acid guy now. That's why I'm dressed like this. Never in a can. Never in a can. I was poured out. I sip my acid through a big chalice. You can't start taking acid a lot.

Fuck. I mean, this kid. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. That was huge, too. Well, move the audio equipment. No, it's fine. Well, don't.

Now move it. Yeah. What about my headphones? Your whichimal calls are banged out. That's all right. Aren't they supposed to be waterproof? I don't know. What the fuck was that?

I just got a pair of those. I was a Raycon man. This is like a real problem. That thing really came spitting out. Well, listen. Thanks for having me, fellas. Yeah, dude. Look at this monkey. Here. And you two live together. Well, listen, thanks for having me fellas

Here and you two live together so this is the routine Does who does the cleaning around here Tommy? Yes, all of it. Oh really? Yeah, Chris doesn't clean up if there own shit. That's not true. And how many bathrooms are in this joint? Just one. How many bathrooms? Just one. Listen, I know RU Garg is doing well. Why don't you calm the fuck down? How many bathrooms?

What's the half bath situation? This guy. I got him signing up for my trainer. I'm a week in. I know, dude. This is great. This is the new you. The new you.

And you're already sending Jim selfies, which is very exciting. Yeah. You know? You gotta let him gym selfies which is very exciting. Yeah. You know you don't want to know you're back. You're back on the fucking

yeah. I had a tiger. Let me tell you I'm coming. You deserve it.

I saw it. I saw telling you the price of my personal training was going to shake you off and you like that's

it. And that's how I know you're making some good buko bucks because you didn't shake. Are you paying

that? What? Yeah. Really? Yeah. So you thought good though.

Yeah. Well Tommy's going to want credit for your lifestyle change, by the way. I give Tommy all the credit in the world. No, I'm not. Yeah, that's why he keeps bringing it up. He's brought it up on every podcast. I'm bringing it up because I'm proud of him and I'm excited for him. Let me tell you something about this man right here, this friend of yours, this Tommy Pope.

Yeah. A lot of influence over the last couple of years. Remember, we started Are You Garbage? Yep. I introduced you. the pandemic happened at some point in that summer you said I'm doing a real-ass podcast with Lewis yeah would you want to come in with me yes I came in we're talking about are you garbage a little it's like the idea we did good on the show he brought me back a couple of times. Started on the network. They started blossoming

from there. This is why I'm expecting a Monet for Christmas. A Monet? What's it called? The biggest fuck of Monet. I'm going to put it right on the television. I'm just going to watch you bleed out of your eyes. The best Monet story is... You got a Monet story? I got a Monet story. It's a good story. How is the cross practice?

Twelve years ago. We called him the Bulldog. So Manet made a painting. Every year there would be like an exhibition, right, where all the best painters in Paris would like show their shit. Are you talking about Paris in the 20s? No, no. This is like the late 1800s.

Okay. And Manet made a sick painting and everyone was like you're the fucking man and then for like 10 years he put up nothing but dog shit yeah everyone was like you suck now yeah he got he got a tight 10 minutes and then never wrote a new joke and then one day he walks into the exhibition and they're like holy shit shit, dude. Your new painting? Fucking rules. You're the man. You're back. You're totally back.

And he's like, yes, yes. And he walks into room and everyone's talking about the Monet. Oh, yes. They thought it was his. So just back to the basement. His painting sucks. So he's got one big hit and that's it. Yeah. No, he's got a couple.

He's got to have. Yes, he does. And how are you such an art history Nah he's got a couple He's gotta have And how are you Such an art history buff He's not He's a big jerk off No I He probably read one article And he wanted to bring it up today

To fucking No I got Shove it up your ass I got two into politics It's like you collected These from people who moved From upstate There's nothing matching

This is every apartment On the fucking curve Going trash night I got I got two into politics And I I just started watching, like, art history documentaries for a while. Okay. And there's a dude, Walt.

His name is, like, Walt Osal's Jan Zusak, and he's crazy, and he does great docs. Okay. And that's how I found out about the story. Yeah. He took an art history class in college. He did? Yeah, he did.

I didn't learn anything. Flunked it? Yeah. No big deal Where'd you go to college? I'm not a fucking nerd There was no Monet stories He's got personalized Monet stories

That's a fun story That is fun You got any fun stories about Picasso? Holy shit Paul You want to lay down over here? Take a heart attack And get out of here How's the training going?

It's good right? Training's going good boys It's going good It's fantastic A month into therapy A weekend with King Ferg He's great

Sweet boy isn't he? Yeah I've backed myself into a corner of Accountability That's what's different now. Because he's up my ass. I got an app. I don't want to let him down. I don't want to let the boys down.

That's it. That's all you're paying for. That's what I say. I've backed myself into a corner. So it's good. Yeah, it's great. Jim's great. Yeah, it is.

Tommy got me into it, too. Tommy got me. I was in a deep depression, too. You were. And you're a fucking glowing orb now, dude. You look great. Clinical depression? Well, I know one

that studied me. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Shane and I did a little did a little research. You wake up Tommy and Shane have lab coats on.

Now we're going to put this mouse in your ass. Yeah. Put this electronic circuit on your fucking skull. But no, there were some dark times there for you.

Yeah. And me as well. Sleeping all day. Well, the first like three months you lived in this apartment, I didn't know you at all. Yeah.

I only knew you from Philly. We honestly didn't know each other until like two months ago. Until Shane. We lived together for like a year. Wait, why? Tell me that. Well, we never like hung out

the way we do now. Now we're aces. But like before, he would go from his bedroom to the kitchen. I'd hear him scurry around like a little mouse. When was this? He he'd fucking eat this is six months ago yeah yeah six months ago yeah this man was in a cave his room was this is post uh pandemic yeah okay the

whole pandemic and post pandemic for the most part it was a big 18 month run for you dude it was the sopranos brought us together yeah i tell you Sopranos will heal everything that wounds you. It's so true. We're almost done, though. We're on like six Bs. So once that's over, you're back to your fucking room, and I'm going to hate you. I can't do the last season. That and Seinfeld, because I start getting anxiety that it's going to be over.

No, it's over. Yeah. Dude, we just did the KFC radio podcast, and fidelberg told a story that i i'll never not tell it's so fucking funny him and his buddy used to get all coked up and order a hooker just to watch sopranos yeah it's pretty funny so the woman would come in and then they would just turn to prana episode yeah and then tell her to fuck off. Yeah. He told her. No sex.

He told us that too. Yeah. That she would be like freaked out for the first couple of minutes. Like, fucks with these guys. And all of a sudden, I'm like, all right. Settle in. Share popcorn. We're going to do that.

Find out what happens with Paiomai. You know what I mean? We're going to do that. Once we get over 1,000 patrons. 1,000 subs. We're going to get a hooker and watch the program. 1,000 patrons. We're going to order a hooker.

All yacked up on blow? No. Well. I don't know. I don't do that. Sub,000 subs. We're going to get a hooker and watch the brand. 1,000 patrons. We're going to order a hooker. All yacked up on blow? No. I don't do that. Submit my number. Yeah. It's Foley with a wig. Foley's like, hey, boys. Which one is the art lover?

Am I blowing a Monet or Tommy? Dude, this is, you know, it's- Wait, hold on. Stop. Yeah. Six months. that's it You guys have You guys have been boys

What were you doing Probably less than that Like three We've known each other Four For a decade Yeah yeah Right

But he was close with Shane I never I was in our Our generation Or whatever the fuck Of comics Was just above him So we never

We never We hung out We never were close And then when he first moved here Like I said the fuck of comics was just above him so we never we never hung out whenever we're close and then when he first moved here like i said he was like a goofy fucking animal i was a recluse yeah you were reclusive tommy's a big homebody so you want to know who's in the home 100 yeah tommy likes to make dinner yeah keep it clean yeah he builds a house around yep you know what i'm saying so what did you do why he was doing that? In my room. Breaking the home. In my room looking at my art. Because there's nothing weirder when you're cooking and you have roommates that you're

not that close with. Oh, it's brutal. Oh, it makes the chili taste different. Hey, man, you want some? Yeah, and then you have to pretend like, do you want a plate? And you're like, no, absolutely. That's what I do. My girlfriend got a lover.

She stuck with me through situations like that. Yeah. It was me, her in a room, and then a buddy's uncle. Yeah. I swear to God, in the apartment. Fucking bro. Yeah, we'd be sitting there trying to have dinner. I'm like, oh, something's going on out here.

Oh, my God. Was he a pill head? Well, usually, if an uncle's staying with you, he's a pill head. Definitely. He has some issues There's no sober uncle In the basement You know what I mean

Just got my taxes done Yeah every time you hear The door rattle You're like here he comes Yeah it was a bad situation Yeah it's like a drunk dad Coming home When you hear the knob rattle

You're like Somebody's gonna get hit Or yelled at Right You hear an uncle Come up the steps From the basement When he's sleeping

And you're like You get all weird shit Did you ever come up with like a gift you know what's coming uh what do you mean if you came home drunk a gift yeah yeah just wait what the gift was disappearing what was going up to your room and fucking shut the door if my dad wasn't a big drunk but he'd come home pissed sometimes i'd always try to have like a you know good grade yeah look at this paper. Yeah. Yeah.

You try and shake them up. Yeah. But I didn't have many of those. So that never worked. What did it work? Yeah. Show me what I was up to. Show me your back.

You know what I was doing? You're making up classes. I got an A in calligraphy. Yeah. Hey, dad, I'm in the art history. He's like,

get in the basement. You're fucking queer. Hey, Yeah Hey Don, I'm in the art history He's like, get in the basement You fucking queer Hey No, but like So Even if he was pissed You would just create Obviously you don't have A graded paper

Every fucking time No, no, you don't Yeah So how do you How do you throw him off the scent Of beating your ass Basement time Yeah What, would he beat your ass? Uh, no No, no, no don't. Yeah. So how do you throw him off the scent of beating your ass? Basement time. Yeah.

Why? Would he beat your ass? No, no, no, no. It's just a vibe. Oh. My dad, my dad, my dad, my dad like stopped like millions of years of fathers beating their kids. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. He was the guy. He was like. Why? He got his ass beat? Oh, yeah. Really?

Oh, yeah. Was that a booze hound? Yeah, yeah. guy. He was, and like. Why, he got his ass beat? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Was that a booze hound? Yeah, yeah, big. He was like from Ireland. Damn. Drunk carpenter. No art on the walls in that house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. That's why you like the paintings. Yeah. Because it covers up all the holes that were in it. Dude, no shit. No shit. The eagle. I'm not kidding you, Foley.

There's a hole right there. That's from an eagle's loss that I got a taunt from my ex-girlfriend No shit. I'm not kidding you, Foley. There's a hole right there. That's from an Eagles loss that I got a taunt from my ex-girlfriend that I threw my keys. Right behind the television, there's a hole. Your keys? I threw my house keys from the bathroom. You don't want this.

I do got a hose, dude. When you see the wintertime, you're going to see a snowball launch off. Yeah, that was the one that we were hanging out smoking cigarettes and you were like you want to have a snowball competition yeah probably know I could fuck him up so Shane brought you guys together yeah essentially yeah okay yeah yeah now he's a different man though he's a different man he didn't used to be like this. Is that true?

It's true. Yeah. He's joyful. He's in shape. Yeah. You're getting there. Yeah. His legs are starting to straighten out because of his happiness.

No, no, no. He's got bolus. What was the depression? Can you put your finger on it? You know what? It's just waking up with nothing to do. Okay. And then not having motivation to do anything.

And then, you know, it's like you have those cycles where it's like you have sets and shit that are good. And you're like, you know what? This is going to work out. Sure. This is going to work out. I'm going to be all right. Yeah. And then, you know, that doesn't happen for a little while.

And you're like, I'm fucked. Yeah. I got nothing going. Yeah. You start doing a five-year lookout and you're like, am I doing any of the right shit? Yeah. I've got no work ethic. You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to even turn this around. You know what I mean? I might just die without ever putting effort into it. Oh, shit. Funny guy. Dude. I'm about to disappear into my bedroom right now. Just looking into the void and being like, how deep does my laziness go?

See all these plants? They used to be dead from Chris walking by them. You hear Tommy out there making a ragu singing. Fly me to the moon. Fuck. So I guess, yeah. I mean, but this is a compliment. You're a different boy.

It's getting better. Yeah. It's getting great. I'll slide back into it. You got a nice glow. I'll slide back into it. Yeah, it's coming. It's coming.

Right after the holidays what about you was yours was yours clinical did you get now i wouldn't i mean not i mean i'm in therapy right now but i'm real real careful about that because like people that are like clinically like clinically have shit they're like real fucked up what's the difference between i mean like when you really really i mean to say you're depressed that people get depressed people get bummed out or whatever but like to be like clinically depressed yeah i don't think you just pop out of that you mean the hardwired where you have to take medication even think hardwired take medication see a psychiatrist not a psychologist you know what i mean i wouldn't want to you know

oh yeah yeah well it's like chemical. Yeah. Yeah, pure chemical. Yeah. I mean, I think I definitely have some chemical miswire. It's like saying you're nuts versus being actually bipolar. Exactly. Yeah.

It's like, well, I got crazy thoughts. It's like, yeah, do you take lithium in the morning? Exactly. Which a lot of people throw that around these days for street credit. You know what I mean? Bipolar is now the ADHD. When we were growing up, everyone was like,

I have ADD or whatever. I definitely have ADD. Now everybody's got bipolar disorder. It's like, get the fuck out of here. You grow up with someone with bipolar, you,

what is so funny about this? Because for a second there, we were having sort of like an empathetic, normal conversation about depression. Everyone's fucking bipolar now. You got to turn on us.

I can't cross the street without running into somebody. I can't place a bet on a Little League game because I don't know if the kid's fucking bipolar or not. It's true, though. I don't know which picture's showing up. The lefty or the righty. No, the reason everybody was ADHD, we were kids, because they wanted to move that Ritalin. Yeah, of course. Fucking sell that shit.

Yeah. Well, that was after us. The ADHD was when we were like teenagers. I got Ritalin. They mistakenly gave me Ritalin. What, college? College. That's when it first came out for us.

Yeah. Nice. Because I was not doing good in school. Uh-huh. They thought it was that, huh? They tested me, yeah. It was right before winter break they handed me like they test you what do you got you just answer a question by doing jumping jacks

like here's bills this kid's fucking nuts i don't know what doctor he went to that's all you do that was the big thing you got extra time on the test yeah that i didn't get yeah they just they gave me one i'm telling you happened. They gave me one bottle of Ritalin and that was it because we were going to Penn State for New Year's and I took it with me and we did it all in literally like 48 hours. What, a whole month's worth? Like a whole month's worth. And I went back and my parents were like, what the fuck? I read nine books.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, I don't know. This stuff's not really working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I're like, I don't know. This stuff's not really working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched four episodes with a hooker. Dude, I mean, I'm excited to do that, though. Oh, that'll be great. Yeah.

That'll be great. I mean, you had the fear in a woman's heart and mind. No. We'll make her feel comfortable pretty quick. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Is that what you like, you sicko? No, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying that. I can smell pretty quick. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Is that what you like you sicko? No, that's what I'm saying I'm saying

Gotta put on an episode where someone gets killed It's just all beheading compilation when Ralphie beats when Ralphie kills the the horse stripper. Oh, yeah Yeah, we sit it down. We just watch chaotic for an hour Just all murder vids Oh my god Be weird You put on Frasier How are you

Just look at her And be like You got 15 minutes left How's the relationship In the apartment now Everything's good Everybody's settling in Yeah I think we're doing good

It's glorious It's such a weird thing Being in this industry With you know adults And living with people Like I think about my father At this age Yeah but you can't And this is with people. Like, I think about my father. Yeah, but you can't.

And this is, you guys are so lucky. Yeah. You're all best friends. Right? Yeah, it's nice. That's what I say sometimes. It helps. It's nice and cozy.

Once every six months. It'd be hard to leave. It is. It's very hard. Was that a sneeze? I don't know. I think that's Shane making fun of us in the kitchen. It's Shane laughing at us in the kitchen.

Speaking of snowball fights, where are you off to, buckaroo? What? You got a good vibe in here. I can't compliment? No. We don't like compliments like that, dude. No compliments. Yeah.

You got to be fucking aggressive and angry. Where are you guys going? Most of the time. Sorry, I'm ruining it. Do you want to be fucking aggressive and angry where you guys most of the time You Okay, what's in like Zinfandel I know yeah, let's fire that making sang Look at that. Making sangria. This is nice. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, it looks good.

That'd be great. It looks good. Yeah, that'd be great. I won't. She must remain silent. What's he saying? Don't show her or say her name. Can you not hear?

What? What did you say? I got headphones on. I can hear a vine. I can't tell. I checked out for a minute. Yeah. I gotta be honest.

I was somewhere else. I was thinking about my park spot. How far my parket spot is. It's fucking brutal over here. Yeah, it's nuts. It's a nice neighborhood, though. Yeah. That one house right there on the corner is pretty nice.

Somebody's got a couple of bucks. There's gotta be a couple of mob guys mixed in there. The apartment complex? Paisito? right the other way the other the other way on the corner it's a it's like two brownstones together no i'm okay thank you so much two is fine no i'm i i'm gonna spill it again just use your hands the way other people can't i fumble yeah so the parking is about what what's it about this is it we're doing this is what it's about yes is it all right the part I asked the question people are animals they don't they don't

park up to the the curb cut out they don't park up to start a little bit yeah it's a quiz game show. Fast trivia. We're waiting on the wheel to come, dude. We had a malfunction on the wheel last week. What's this show about? This fucking guy. You know what I mean?

There's one show out of a thousand that actually have a theme, and this motherfucker's asking us what our show's about. 45 minutes in. So anyway, what do you guys do here? What do we do? The fucking boss. You know what we do? We get a lady to serve you sangria And you shut it down

Like an animal I'm driving That's why I can't have it You can have a sip of sangria How far are you driving? Smoking like a true booze bag You can do fucking You do three hits of acid

It's perfect Run around Houston You can't have a sip of fucking wine It's the perfect thing to do When you're starting to turn your life around Just get a fucking DUI That's true. Slap a nice Dewey on the resume.

That would look real good on paper. That's the best part about our industry, though. That shit would only boost you. A Dewey? Yeah, it's like a rapper getting arrested. It ups your street cred. Stop saying industry. What do you mean?

That's what we are. We're an industry. No, we're not. What are you talking about? Does this look industrial? Not this fucking show, you dickhead we are. We're an industry. No, we're not. What are you talking about? Does this look industrial? Not this fucking show, you dickhead. Everything we do is an industry. It's entertainment industry.

No, we're not part of the industry. When you file your taxes, don't you pick an industry? No. I don't. I've never filed a tax. Because your dad does your taxes? Putz Hart lover. Oh, yeah.

We got to get back to that. No. Yeah. What, his dad? Yeah, his dad tuning him up. All his dad did was he probably put his eyebrow down And Chris was like Oh fuck you He never hit you

He never fucking smacked you A couple times Give you the belt But he didn't come home every night What's he doing sleeping No I know That's a good rule of hunting And hit me

And hit me Oh okay Yeah Yeah yeah No he just was always vibrating At a frequency that was like I want to hit I don't really know

How else to address this tread lightly so i'm working on it yeah he had like uh yeah you know like he put the kibosh on it that's pretty good yeah yeah those cycles don't end you could see you could see that you could see like hodor in his eyes for sure you know the guy in the game of thrones holding back like all the demons it's short for hold the door. Yeah. It was. One time I wrote a sketch. This is so embarrassing.

I wrote a sketch called Hado. Oh, Hado, yeah. And it was a spoof on that. Because Hodor, they have... I never saw Game of Thrones. All right, yeah. So very quickly, it's this giant waterhead Mongoloid that can't speak All he says is hey though

All of that was so wrong And I've never seen the show He's a dude that looks like He eats refrigerators He's a fucking giant Just imagine a giant Fucking guy with no IQ Jesus Christ I don't want to say the R word.

I know, I know. He's a fucking idiot. That's what you were looking for. Yes. Well, you did a real good job of cleaning it up. I'm trying to. I'm trying to. A waterhead.

There was a one offensive thing that you did. A waterhead. What the fuck? I think the R word is actually better. I'm trying to dodge it. Oh, my God. So anyway, this guy is. You know what I'm talking about?

You know what I mean? You know what I'm trying to dodge it. Oh, my God. So anyway, this guy is... You know what I'm talking about? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Kid wears a helmet all the time. You know what I'm talking about? I didn't want to call him a black guy. He's holding the door from all these enemies killing his buddies, basically, all right? Okay.

And it's so traumatizing. He keeps saying, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door, hold the door. Hey, though,

what is the character's name is? Hodor Hodor. Yeah, that's what they call him. Cause that's the only thing you can say. Something happens and triggers his mind that he can only say Hodor instead of hold the door because of this traumatic event. Right?

Okay. The idea was this sketch. I got all fucked up and I wrote it down. I was like, this is fucking genius. It's a fucking genius This is fucking genius It's an Italian guy Who says

How you doing But he says Hey though Hey though Hey though And he's like a bouncer And there was a situation Where he's trying to stop

These people from fighting At a bar Yeah And he keeps saying How you doing How you doing How you doing How you doing

How you doing How you doing And it just morphs into just an Italian and I woke up the next morning and was like Jesus Christ what was I doing last night

you like scribbled it oh yeah like this is genius picture you sitting there head pecking on final draft laughing to yourself sun's coming up

I got socks on my hands I'm in the backyard for some fucking reason. How many terrible jokes do you remember writing down in a book on your laptop? So many. Where you get douche chills beyond belief. Yeah. It's gut-wrenchingly embarrassing.

I almost said that. I do a lot of voice-to-text just so I can try to say it the way I would say it. So I put it on my notes, voice-to-text. That almost said that. I do a lot of voice to text just so I can try to say it the way I would say it. So I put it on my notes, voice to text. That's mayhem. Yeah, you look at that and say, what the fuck? I can't even connect where I would even start the premise. When you get in that writer's mode

and you got a couple of drinks in you and you're just talking into the phone, man, you go back and look at that. You're like, what the fuck? I know. And the energy when you're putting talking into the phone. Man, you go back and look at that. You're like, what the fuck? I know. And the energy when you're putting it down is like, this is what separates me from everyone else. Yeah.

This is what will get me out of my bedroom for six months. You're like Steven Pressfield. It's whatever his name was. The Art of War or the War of Art. Oh. Yeah, this is wonderful. I thought that was Sun Tzu. Art of War is Sun Tzu

Okay The War of Art is Steven Pressfield Okay You should know this dude It's about art I don't know I just watched a couple of documentaries No it's just

It's about just what you said Like the real artist will think of something And actually take the minute to write it down Or normal people just forget about it Yeah That's true I find myself doing that a lot too I just like don't write something down It feels better just forget about it. Yeah. That's true. I find myself doing that a lot too.

I just like don't write something down. It feels better because then like you write something down then you look at it the next day you go I'm an idiot. If you don't write it down the next day you go I forgot that fucking

it's a genius bit. Yeah. But I forgot it. I just need to work a little harder. Just got to get up before noon. If I only had a pen. You know I got to start writing I got to work a little harder. Just got to get up before noon. If I only had a pen. You know, I got to start writing stuff down. They say if you forget it, it wasn't that good.

What are you buying these days? Buying? Yeah, with your new money. Not buying anything. You're not getting nothing. No. You're not itching for anything. Come on.

The trainer is what he is. That's your first purchase. No. Trainer is what he is. The shrink ain't cheap. You're not doing the comedy shrink that everybody goes through. No. Fuck that.

Go to a normal person. I got turned off by him, to be honest with you. I texted him. I heard bad things. The first thing I do is slap the shit out of him. I didn't like it. Really? Yeah, I wasn't a fan.

I hear he's disrespectful. I hear he's a real fucking dickhead. I like that. I like that. I got a nice Italian. You do? Yeah. Why? It's like talking to your dad about shit that you care about You ever tell your dad something you care about

And he's like what are you doing All the time All the time It's a thing I'm still working through Which is being able to share anything With anyone that I like Because anytime I shared something with my family They'd be like that's dumb And then i'd be like well i guess i'm done i'm dumb yeah i guess i have nothing to

offer my dad was it the monet story if that's the case i'm on dad's side no wonder this dude's working 12-hour shifts and every day he's gotta go My kid's gonna talk About fucking Monet again The whole time They thought it was bad Yeah My wife's gonna make Egg mooners My kid's gonna talk

About art You know As people in the industry I thought you'd relate To that story That's an industry Art's an industry It is an industry

We are in the Entertainment industry Chris I thought I was Talking to artists Jesus Christ You know a movie Does exactly what you're talking about so well? It might be a deep cut.

Ever see Sleepers? Oh, wonderful. Bruno Kirby. Yeah. The great Bruno Kirby plays Patrick. What's his name? The great Bruno Kirby. Jason Patrick plays his dad.

He goes to see him. He's super repressed. He's sitting there. The mom's got like a black eye. She's serving spaghetti. Bah, bah, bah. The dad's like, so how's it going?

Everything's good, huh? Everything's going good? And he's like, yeah, everything's good, Pop. You know, he does like the light breeze over. He's like, yeah, well, what's going on? And he starts to tell him. He's like, oh, yes, everything's good.

Like he cuts along. He doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to hear it. That always stuck with me. Like, oh, fuck. Yeah, dude. I got a friend like that. Oh, yeah. I got a friend like that. A friend? Yeah. Well, he't want to hear. Yeah. Oh, that always stuck with me. Like, Oh fuck. Yeah. Dude, I got a friend like that. Oh yeah.

I got a friend like that. Like a friend. Yeah. Well, he's not really a friend. He's a family member type thing. Okay. I'm not going to say his fucking name cause he doesn't know how disrespectful he is,

but like you could genuinely ask like, you know, how you doing? Yeah. And then he'll go off and then just disappear into his own bullshit. When you start talking about stuff, like people that don't give you advice in life or can't offer you advice from and then just disappear into its own bullshit when you start talking about something you care about. People that don't give you advice in life or can't offer you advice from experience,

they don't exist in my life. I think those are two different things. One is our dads in our generation not being able to process their emotions. To be like, wait, what's going on? Are you okay? Right, but you could see that at a younger age. There are people I've come across that I could be friends with that I choose not to because

they act like a dad in certain circumstances where they just choose to jump out instead of sit in and feel something and offer you their perspective due to experience. There's a lot of people in our industry. It's difficult when he goes serious because it seems funny. It does. But that was a very genuine, sweet moment. And I feel like this. This is why we're close.

The road trips that we have going to the Eagles games and on the road and stuff, we have an ability to tap into each other's emotions without the bullshit of deflection. Yeah. Without feeling tough, all that bullshit, which I'm capable of. But at the same time, it's like you want want someone i got a genuine concern about something in my life and i want your genuine concern as well but also opinion based on your relative experience in that area sure if i'm asking that of you i trust you i love you and i and i actually appreciate your past experience with something like that right if you don't have, shut up in there!

If you don't have any of that. Ma! I'm just kidding. If you don't have any of that, then you're not gonna get close enough to me. You're not gonna get within arm's reach of my heart. If I feel like you've never experienced enough to give me, and it's selfish to think,

but like all my close friends have been through something or I value their emotional accessibility yeah well you also have to you have to be someone who's got enough intelligence experience yeah that's right people have a lot of life experience but they have they're completely incapable of analyzing it in any kind of interesting way great point you know what I mean there's there's certain people that like can get enough distance from themselves I don't know how you describe it, but it's like I can actually kind of like Given appraisal of their experience that I'm listening. Yeah, I don't hang around with any hodors is what he said

No water heads in my circle You got a couple I think it's you got a bunch of hodors I think it's fucking right like a good hodors more self dude. I think it's more... I can fucking rattle myself. I like a good hodor. More self-absorption than being simple. Does that make sense? Yeah. People that can't do it.

I think it's the intellect. What does Jack Harlow say? People who can't stare at reflections? Is that... Pretty good line. Look at me. You guys are giving me shit about my mono-stairway. Look at all these rappers.

Talk about Jack Harlow. He's on TikTok. Oh, really? Jack Harlow? Yeah. He's a wig. I've never heard of him. What? He's a rapper. He's on TikTok. Oh, really? Jack Harlow? Yeah. He's a wig. I've never heard of him. What?

He's a rapper. He's a rapper. I've never heard of him. I probably heard his music, but I don't know what you're talking about. Just let that go. Tommy, from a different time. I mean, I got it. I was hoping you'd pull out.

Yeah. He's a white rapper. Oh, I thought you were going to be like, no, he's part of the Continental Congress. You were a wimp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out of respect. You know, he's just signed just above John Hancock with Jack Harlow.

Jack Harlow. Sop. Sop. Oh, dude. So how are you, Garbage Man? This is fucking... I don't really need to promote that On this channel here

But how's it going It's going great Thank you for asking Thank you for both What's next For being on it What's next is What's next for you

It is That's a good question We got a next We got a next December 21st We are going to be dropping A special Which is

So we did a 17 city tour yeah 17 18 cities this uh summer and fall and we um we do stand up and then at the end of the show for the last half hour kevin and i go on stage together and we answer garbage questions yeah there's an email in the beginning um we put out little pieces you know five minute clip here if I'm gonna clip there a couple of clips on social media but now we're doing a full like half hour special of all that rules the whole time behind the scene shit stuff like that December 21st gonna be awesome so if you're not subscribed to the YouTube page subscribe to the are you garbage YouTube page and you know exactly when it comes out because even if you're not a fan Of the show

Who's not a fan People are gonna be able To relate to it Who's not a fan of that show That show is You know Thank you Yeah

Thank you If they're not a fan They just haven't seen it If you didn't know the show It's a stand alone thing Yeah You know what I mean It's good

And that's why He's talking shit about us He's like What do you guys do here Remember his comment earlier We don't have like a No I didn't say it like that I was just curious that's what he meant we needed to have easily said now something we need a theme no we just talk we don't need a theme not at all this

is what he's doing not at all what he's not now he's not being emotionally available like my one of my best friends and he's he's deflecting look at looking at his time he's got to get out of here already his jet ski is going to pull up any moment he's going to get out of here already. His jet ski's going to pull up any moment. He's going to fucking skedaddle. This man's paranoid. This man's obviously on cocaine. Dude, Tommy gets very paranoid. He gets fucked up. He gets a couple of beers. He should see me after a couple of fucking rippers.

Tommy gets so suspicious. Tommy got in a fight at Delilah's the other night because he thought he was giving them fake bills. She gave me fake fucking bills. I don't know. He wasn't able to produce evidence. Hold on a second. He was not able to produce evidence.

I'm going to give this a very... When were you with Delilah's? Exactly. Great question. Last night. It's a long story. Last night. That's how I ripped my shirt.

What the fuck? No, no. So this was after an Eagles game. It was me, him, and Andrew Santino. Yesterday? No. Two Sundays ago. After an Eagles game. Me, him, and Andrew Santino. Yesterday? No. Two Sundays ago.

After an Eagles game, me, him, and Andrew Santino. What? A fortnight. Is that really what it is? I think so, too. How long is a fortnight? Two weeks. Two weeks? Is it?

Yeah. Is that from Lincoln? Lincoln's? I don't know. The car? It was in a speech. So I'm giving Santino though stop kicking that dude you're moving the camera Santino Fortnette I was talking to my wife

hey you guys attention here it was me it was me, and Chris, and we went to the Eagles game, and I was like, well, typically, after the Eagles game. Not for me. I was just like, what if, you know. I don't know how you guys do it on the West Coast. I haven't been there in a long time. No, this was our plan since very early on. We got a strong buzz going.

We like to push it as hard as we can, despite it being a Sunday. We had whiskey. We were drinking whiskeys instead of beers at the game, so we were like, let's go to a diddy joint. Yeah. And we went in there. How is Delilah's these days? It was disgusting.

It was like every strip. It was great. Attractive ladies. No. Yeah. Sunday night. You don't get Sunday night chips. You don't get Sunday night chips.

Wait, Sunday night is peak after an Eagles game. Yeah. That's big money. You think it was. I mean, Tommy was unhappy with There was six dudes Five jerseys In the whole fucking place

Tommy had tunnel vision I don't think your appraisal Of the room was Here's what happened I already said it I already said it on this On this podcast A couple weeks ago

I went to go take A 200 bucks sale They charged me $40 ATM fee $40 fucking dollars Okay So I'm already hot Shit I might have been

Blocking you No you're good I'm already fucking hot I'm already hot. Shit, I would have been blocking you that whole time. No, you're good. I'm already fucking hot. I'm already hot going nuts. I get $240 bucks out or $200 hours out. I give her $100. I'm like, can you cash this? She gets this fucking, she's all yacked out of her skull looking like me.

Is she a bartender or a stripper? Bartender. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Yeah. Maybe a little bit of both. She's a left hander, right hander.

You weren't negotiating at all. She's a bipolar stripper. She can bartend Right hander You weren't negotiating She's a bipolar She can bark down And dance You weren't negotiating A lap dancer This was not a negotiation This also

We need to like Rashomon this fucking Story This is a What I just You familiar with the movie Rashomon

What is that I'm just saying that From her perspective Hey nerd alert Zip it We're talking about Titties over here What a way to throw

Jesus Christ I'm just saying You're fucking hammered you're fucking so hammered you can't tell real from fake bills and you're going up and saying a lady's yacked out i see the situation yeah no i'm seeing through this rose-colored story he's presenting this is glasses and his tweed jacket on yo this is this is fucking real. And then I simply said to the young lady, you fucking whore, I swear to God. I'm fucking kidding you. Trying to pull that shit with me? Where you at, you screaming in the airport?

I know what's going on. I mean, very, very. I'm sorry, madam. Do you happen to have change? Very close. Very close. Very close. She goes, I get... So she gives me 60 bucks.

I'll have an Aperol Spritz. Can you bring a $1,000 bill, please? Let me say something. We weren't drinking sangrias. I get my 60 dollars. I get upset because I went back. I started funneling 2020 for everybody just to have fun. I'm like, $60.

I look in my pocket. I got a $100 bill. I'm like, you only gave me $60. She's like, I gave you a fucking $60. She's like, I gave you $100. I'm like, you only gave me $60. Recount. Give me my $40. I'm like, it's going back to you. I'll give you fucking $20 of it right now. Go give me

my $40. She calls the manager. The manager's like, we're back to you I'll give you fucking 20 of it right now Go give me my 40 bucks She calls the manager The manager's like We're gonna have to count the whole till I'm like count the fucking till Count the till That was weird All this is happening On the other side of the bar

Since you know I Since you know I At this point Are just sitting there Staring at me We're there so early We're there We were there at like 6

The show has barely even started yet And there's nobody there The show Yeah right Chris's first time We were there at like 6. The show has barely even started yet, and there's nobody there. The show? Yeah. Yeah, right. Chris's first time. That's three strikes of confidence.

Who's the new guy? Yeah. Chris is in a high chair going, when does the sparklers come out? I heard Aaron Sorkin wrote this. They got me a little fire engine seat to sit in. He's in a Power Wheels. First time seeing a pair of titties, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The show.

People keep coming over. When does the show start? Meanwhile, the lady's like, do you want me to coke off your dick or no? That's the show. People keep coming over to us and being like, what's going on with your boy? Is he like, all right?

Yeah. We're just hearing news from this from beyond. We got one more drink and we skid out. You never want to hear your friend yelling at the other end of the bar. God, count it. Count it. Tell. So true.

I got time. I got nothing but time. I was fired the fuck up. And did it count until they did? And it didn't come out in Tommy's favor. He said he said it all added up, and I still don't think it adds up. Dude, at one point,

Santino are trying to like, all right, guys, let's come back together as a group. Let's figure out what we can do here. And he's like, look at these bills. They're fake. And I'm like pretty hammered.

I'm going through them like, man, they look fucking real to me. I counted three fucking bills That were Dude you should have seen the color Under the black lights Where are the Before the show

You could see the color difference In the dollars And I was like feel this It felt like Where are these bills now I threw them I think there was I got upset

Yeah I tossed them I honestly think there was Just tape on one of the bills There wasn't just tape On one of the bills Man Real fucking dickhead Making a real good impression

On your guy Yeah This is a real fucking dickhead making a real good impression on your guy This is a real shamasan situation. What a fucking dildo. Was that the first time you met Santino? It's fucking good. Yeah talking about strippers. This is real shamashan You guys never seen shamashan Part of the criteria. It's almost like the Rorschach test. This fucking virgin. Holy fuck. So how was the show? We didn't see it.

Every one of us took money out, paid a $40 ATM fee, and then we left. Wow, really? Because it was late? As soon as we walked outside, you just saw everybody dispersed a different direction. Oh, really? Yeah, I was one eye in. I had to sit down on the curb. I almost pulled the trigger

on a fucking BMW. Where were you staying? Weren't you just coming back to New York together? No, no. We were staying down in different places. Yeah.

Where were you staying? Don't worry about that, bud. Exactly. Like the lady in the kitchen, we keep that silent, don't we? He fucked off to somewhere, too.

He's probably in a hotel. No, I didn't didn't No I did some He got another show Really? He got a show in town Nice I'm very mischievous He went to Tel Aviv

And went to another one I gotta use his 40 bucks somehow That's always a Excuse me ladies You have a show here too? That was always an awakening When you realize that like Especially like when you were younger

With your boys You know how like You guys would stay together Pretty much until the end of the night You know Because if you live together Whatever Or if like

Oh I'm going to Susie's Or I'm going to wherever You go there But as you get a little bit older And like we have a little bit more money Secret squirrel baby Yeah we all disappear

You got no idea what I'm doing. Whatever the fuck we do. Who knows? You have no idea. And the next morning, you just go, ah, it was good. It was a good night. You don't say.

You guys in bed by one. Yeah, that's how you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just ordered in. No big deal. Meanwhile, you're fucking ripping and roaring all over AC. Dude, you got a dog collar marker in your throat. You still got a ball in your mouth.

Hey, I caught it early. Oh, my God. You're choking through a ball gag. Oh, it's fine. We didn't do anything. Right? That's when you realize, like, we're adults. We're men.

It takes me until the afternoon to start copping to all my... Really? Yeah, yeah. In the morning at, like, a breakfast kind of situation, I'm always like, no, it's fine. Nothing really happened. And then by the afternoon, people are like, no, it's fine. Nothing really happened. And then by the afternoon, people are like, wait, but how did that actually work?

Right. And I'm like, all right. You give them one detail and if they don't shiver, you go, you want to hear more? Wait, you called us in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel. I understand. And you were on a bike. It was windy as fuck.

When you left yesterday, you had a short sun. Now you're wearing a full snowsuit. Acid warms up the blood. Oh, man. No, never admit. To the grave. Yeah. That's when I realized it all.

Everybody has their own secrets. It's okay to have mine. Now, to your friends, you got to admit it. You got to admit it. You can't keep that stuff inside. That's actually what I found with podcasting. Before we started a fair one, there was nothing, I would say, in all of my fucked up experiences. I was like, I'm not.

I can't say that. I can't say that. I want to get a job. I want to get hired. I want to get a fucking. And then I realized that wasn't going to happen. So I'm like, let's say it. This is very entertaining shit. You also start to realize you also start to

realize you started doing pounders yeah you crack a beer at noon you're going fuck it you wanna hear a tranny story

yeah and you start to realize that it's like your whole identity is just these stories it's like if I don't tell these stories there's literally

nothing right whatever then I start saying Rashi Sharma quotes and stuff like that you fucking dildo I'm not over that I hate that why what you did you're gonna love the movie we're gonna watch it we're flowing in Right, whatever. Then I start saying Rashi Sharma quotes and stuff like that. You fucking dildo. I'm not over that.

I hate that. Why? What you did. You're going to love the movie. We're going to watch it. We are flowing into a stripper conversation. I thought you meant, I thought the story was going to get so wild that we were going to have to stop it to protect. Oh, no, no, no.

I thought that was like a code word to go, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell them about the actual show. I just wish we could tell. I wish we could get the bartender on here and hear her. She's sleeping right now. Yeah, she's taking a fucking 12-hour nap. She's just sitting at the bar reading a book.

No, this bitch was nuts, dude. She was gacked out of her skull. Look at this. Poders? Oh, my God. Look at that. This is... Oh my god, look at that. This is... Is that bacon-wrapped jalapenos?

You want to try one? You want to do a live taste? Let me get some mac and cheese. I feel like we have to. We have to try it. That is so sweet. Thank you so much. Look at this. Look at this. You guys got a little home here. Yeah, we're doing alright. I don't get this at my place.

It's Shane's lady. Shane's lady is taking good care of us. Oh, that's awesome. Thanks, buddy. Good handle. You see that slip and slide? Yeah. Chris, you mind if I finger?

These are beautiful. This is nice. This is a podcast. Should we just cut here and go to Patreon? We'll go to the page. We've got fully for another half hour. I've got a couple stories. 45 minutes. Is this all you guys do?

Are you going to say that shit again? This is all we fucking do. All we do is make you sing great and some poppers. I just want to say thank you for having me. Just a special that comes out December 21st. Yeah. On the YouTube page. Take a bite.

Watch Are You Garbage? We're going to cut out. Yeah, watch Are You Garbage? Listen to Are You Garbage? Wherever you get podcasts. You know what I'm doing? I'm sending this to our trainer. You're fucking cheating right now.

Mmm. That's good. God damn. That's fucking really good. What's that cheese? Cream cheese, baby. Oh, really? Yeah.

I didn't know it could taste like that. Yeah, cream cheese and feta. Mmm. Delicious. Yeah. See, I knew there was something else. I didn't get a very refined palate. I didn't taste it yet.

You do have a refined palate. Real Rosh Hashanah palate. All right, we'll see you on the other. Yeah, yeah.