Stuff Island - Stuff Island #52 - one year anniversary w/ Are You Garbage

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

BETTER HELP: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/StuffIsland EXPRESS VPN: Visit http://expressvpn.com/stuffisland for 3 months free. Stuff Island presents H. Foley and Kevin Ryan of the "Are You Garbage" podcast for the One Year Anniversary Episode of Stuff Island! PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a one year anniversary! Wow! Oh, my Taco Bell! Taco Bell! Yo quiero! My Taco Bell! My Taco Bell over here! This way, how you doing?

I'm drunk! I put Kiss in a body bag. Yeah! Dude, dude! He's got a problem. Shane rolled doubles and like dude dude Shane Shane rolled doubles and

like fucking 10 times in a row yeah scoot scoot scoot in if you can scoot in if you can

me? yeah yeah yeah whatever you got man that game really gets cooking that game was fucking insane

yeah we we drank 9 beers in about 15 I'm part of that group yeah we were already We went 1v1, 7-11 doubles. My eyes. That's a low point. One-on-one is saddest.

You don't even have a friend to steal it for you. You just use your other hand. Lefty got you. Yes. That's how not concerned he was. Shane like slowly turned around and took like a full look out the window. Turned back, still him. I hate to see it. Yo, one year anniversary.

There it is. There it is. Didn't think I'd make it this far. I love to see it is. There it is. Didn't think I'd make it this far. I love to see it baby. Holy shit. And we've been celebrating as if it's our 10th. Wait, did you, these aren't cheesy Gordita Crunches. Chris eat the tacos after we're done.

Were those from right now or were they from today? Wait you reordered or something? Yeah I got you those. Okay. Is this a Gordita Crunch? Send yourself a little Taco Bell upstairs, all right? Oh, that's a Gordita Crunch. I can feel it. Cheesy Gordita Crunch. I'm a chalupa man myself.

You chalupa. You chalupa. Am I? What? A fried taco show? Get out of here. Let's go. Not anymore, obviously.

What's the one with the, it's kind of a hard shell and a soft shell. That's the Gordita Crunch. That's the one with the, it's kind of hard show and a soft show. That's the Gordy the Crouch. That's the one. Or you get a double decker. All right, let's settle in here. We got to get through an hour of this. What do you mean? We're doing an hour?

We're having fun. You're doing two. Fuck. Only this one's on. You want a Guinness, Kip? I'm good, buddy. Thank you. Boys.

Do you drink? What? Do you drink? Am I drunk? No boys do you drink am I drunk no do you drink in this room in the past 72 hours I drank 74 beers you guys have been here for 20 I'm like back to that house

I've been in all these I feel like we're in college it's the best it's the fucking best how late did you guys stay I feel like we're in college. Back to the trap house. It's the best. It's the fucking best. We'll break from reality. Yeah. How late did you guys stay last night? I got home maybe four.

Yeah. I think we were playing fucking 7-Eleven doubles upstairs until three and change. We drank 40 beers last night up there after the game. Yeah. I made it two, maybe three rounds. Dude, I literally watched O'Connie's get unplugged from the grid. I watched him, the mainframe powered down, and there was just blackness in his eye. He didn't know what was happening.

You get hobo drunk. You should be on top of the Polar Express. That's how fucking drunk you get. You walked me down the stairs? Yeah. That's how fucking drunk you get. You walked me down the stairs? Yeah. Oh, that was insane, dude. You know, between me, Tommy, and Shane-

I got osteoporosis. We're like three able-bodied men and he can't walk. And Foley's like, I got him. I'm like, yeah, that's what we need. We need to fall through to the first floor. Chris shut down like a drummer at like a circus tower. It's like, really? Somebody's like, we gotta get him down the steps

because his girl is 30 pounds soaking wet. So we're afraid we're just gonna get affected. She's like, I got him. I'm like, this is bad. I'm gonna sit back and see how it unfolds. She said that this morning. She said someone yelled, what are you talking about? You're 19 pounds.

So the bully goes, I'll get him. He's he's like i'll get him just hold me up somebody help me up and then you're like just make sure you go in front of him act like a backstop were you were you i did i went in front of him were you holding my two my two hands yeah i was holding your hands dude you were fucking obliterated oh it's so funny dude there was nobody there I was holding my two hands. Yeah, I was holding your hands. Dude, you were fucking obliterated. Oh, it's so funny, dude. There was nobody there.

I don't even know. Like, the last three nights was like, it's been nonstop since Skankfest, but the World Series. Your voice is shot. My voice is gone. Well, also, we were idiots because we watched the first two games of the World Series here, and we won the first game. So, like, fucking psychopaths. We all, like, watched the first two games of the World Series here and we won the first game. So like fucking psychopaths, we all like wore the same thing. We all sat in the same seat. So it's just been like a series, like continuous. There's no changes to tell you what day it is, what time it is.

We were in the same pizzas. We were the same. We were in the same clothes. We sat in the same seats, drank the same beer. I was always like shifting my feet. I was like, where do I have it? beer ice game was a mistake the dice game was the best part that's the most fun i've had in a long time i was we were hooting him out that's a game of egos man i sneezed i sneezed a full beer you threw up on every

single person it's unbelievable it was like somebody put a cherry bomb in your mouth no it was no i spit like the most beer i've ever spit out of my life i just laughed out of nowhere and i was trying to get fucking ian is the only one who doesn't drink and this this gay warrior is filling up our glasses to 75 shane decided that i didn't like that rule i kept trying to stop I kept going what's he doing and Shane's like it's alright it's the rule

I made it up I'm like alright Shane was just trying to create a story yeah I spit and he did I spit beer today so bad

upstairs yeah yeah dude I coughed beer all over the table that's the most Bud Light I've ever drank in my life

well the phone becomes an issue because it's like quickly filling up and you're quickly chugging luckily Tommy was putting his finger in there and fucking it down for us.

Like we were at a fucking Delco house party. Oh, you nose greased it? First of all, we know each other. You nose greased it? No, I didn't do that. No, that's not true. I used to not mind a nose grease. If you're playing Pong, nose grease it up.

Dude. Guys. As I get a little older, I'm a little more refined gentleman. You know, all of us have each other's dna someone else's i woke up with a wicked sore throat this morning i i'm just getting past that but it's gone you're getting past it yeah are you sure i just sort of sound like shit i fucking know dude and then tomorrow i'm good like we're starting to feel a little bit better i'm not gonna lie i think lie. I think the worst is behind me.

Dude, the Phillies game tomorrow is going to be the greatest fucking day in my life. Also, yeah, say that. We fucking ended up, me and Foley bought tickets and randomly you guys bought tickets and we're fucking right next to each other. That is so insane. Section 105, be watching.

I'm going over the wall, baby. I'm treated like Game of Thrones. Check us out in the cheap seats baby. Dude, we're in nice seats. Dude, we have unobstructed view. Yeah, 4G's for two. That took everything out of me. He's barely stuck to land.

How much did you pay? Paid what they charged? Face value was 17. Oh, that's all right. $1000. But that's... Those fees are like $800. Those StubHub can suck a win.

I don't like that StubHub bullshit. The fees were $500. It was double the ticket. Yeah, it's half the ticket price. Who's getting that? Who's wetting their beak on that? The seller? StubHub.

StubHub, huh? Let Kanye answer that. Dude, how do you... How? I don't know the band. How do they justify... It's like the government needs to step in. Do they?

That's probably who's getting it. You big government motherfucker. I mean, if they can break down those fees. Well, no. I mean, some of it probably. Something's got to be done. Roll the tags in here. It's going to be National Guard.

Fire up the drones, man. You got me bent over a barrel. We're fighting this war in Ukraine for nothing? How about some of those corporate headquarters? How about some of those billion in my way? What are you saying? Joey B, hook us up. Some boys in Canada on front of Seat Geek.

Yeah, I got to pay these fees to watch the fields in the playoffs? Jesus Christ. It's going to be worth it. It's going to be fucking insane. Oh, it's worth every penny. My eyebrow will not stop twitching. That's good. I'm so fucked up.

Is that from being drunk or tired? Yeah, it's drunk. A little mix of both. It's probably a mix of nicotine and booze. He's tired from being drunk all day. Did you have a good night's sleep last night? Yeah. You had to, I assume.

I woke up early. So, five, four hours. Oh, no. You went to bed at like two. Yeah, I went to bed. You passed right out, right? Yeah. Oh up early. Yeah, I woke up four hours. Oh, no, you went to bed at like two. Yeah, I went to bed. You passed right out, right? Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, we got done at like 4.30.

You don't go downstairs and clean up a little bit or tidy up the room or get some laundry done or anything. Yeah, what are you kidding? I put my outfit on for the next day. In order for me to clean, I've got to be sober for at least four days. Which I don't think has happened in a long time. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if I've ever seen anybody quite that kind of drunk. I've never, dude, I've been drinking, you know, well, jeez, I'm 36 years old, I've been drinking for 20 fucking years or whatever. I've never seen someone lose, like, their soul, his soul left his body and I saw it happen. Very Quaalude-y. Yeah. Really? Well, he'm drinking whiskey like a fucking

beer yeah yeah but it was those fucking chugging those beers dude but you had like you had a beer yeah it was the fucking half a bottle of woodford that you fucking put back no it's three quarters of a bottle of whiskey and you're you're drinking it as you're watching the phillies when you got up there you played one game yeah man you were on your, like a couple of minutes. And I'll say this, it's pretty trashy. You have no idea. You drank like twice. You guys are fucking such pieces of shit. I fucking, I chugged at least four beers. You did not. No, you didn't. I think you had two drinks. What are you talking about?

I mean, like this is, the fact that this is up for debate is crazy. I won a couple of rounds. You were, you were dead for like an hour last night and you're arguing with us over details There's such liars cuz I'm any woke up and got killed again mouthwash and we weren't sure why I've never seen somebody double fist a white claw with a fucking whiskey. Yeah, he didn't know what he was I don't think it was the Bud Light did it I saw him serious You're like a fucking little kid at a wedding right now I saw him this morning was the Bud Light that did it. I saw it. I saw it. Serious.

You're like a fucking little kid at a wedding right now. I saw him this morning. He was trying to drink the remote. Fucking guy would put down anything at this point. Anybody got a bottle opener? He's pulling off the power button like, is this the opening? Dude. Play a blackout, dude.

A little fucking blackout. I'm proud of you. What do you remember last? Oh, I just remember like chugging a bottle of beer. I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember

like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like, I remember like i just remember like chugging and i remember like putting stuff down i remember like someone taking a cup i woke up this morning and and uh my lady i was like how bad was it and she goes she goes i don't know You were sober enough to explain the rules. Oh, remember him trying to explain the horse racing game? Oh, dude.

Watch him do that mental gymnastics. Jesus. He would run through it in his head. I can see him running through it in his head and then try to present it to the group and no one fucking cares. At some point, we'll just be on that. We get this one out of here. Yeah. I called it.

Dude, I feel like I was talking to my niece at Thanksgiving. No, then you got a race. You didn't know what the hell you were talking about. I literally go, does it happen all at one time? And I watched your brain just break. I don't know what's going on. I was trying to figure out whether you could make bets each round, round but i don't think you do you just bet on a horse that's what's crazy about you about you're drunk you're type of drunk it's like you have the bends or something

you're very slow in the tank it's you got real cte vibes he doesn't remember that he only drank like two cups of the beer before they know soldier Yeah, it was a tough lock, dude. No, wait. I chugged more than that. No, you didn't, dude. I promise. I didn't finish the last one. I promise. You ran out. You have four dudes telling you what you were doing. Just bunker, hunkered down. Yeah, but it's four dudes.

They don't know what's going on. Upstairs from you, it was like a corporate happy hour. You walked in, you said, well, you don't get to see it. Fucking back to the car. We got to get to her mother's. We'll see you guys later. You were fucking in and out, dude. Oh, my kid's sick.

We only have the sitter. You got kids, though? Holy fuck. I thought I was up there. I thought I was up there for at least... You were up there for like 12 minutes, dude. You're gonna love this footage. Yeah. People thought, yeah. 12 minutes dude yeah yeah why not also let's talk about let's talk about what we're gonna do tomorrow because we have to

what do we gotta wait are we like tailgating somewhere when this comes out it'll be today tailgate really i mean you tailgate in a baseball game? What are you talking about? It's crazy. Have you been to a baseball game? Yeah, I've been to a baseball game before. You don't hang out in the park and drink? No, I go inside and have a beer in there with a gentleman. Is it me or is he dressed for a cruise right now?

There's something going on. You're brighter than you typically are. You have vacation vibes. What the fuck are you talking about? You got in an elevator and hit July. They need back. They need to approve the request off. Good job, big guy.

Jesus Christ. Some of those things should be pushing to the right side of the closet. That's a new white tee or something. That's a new white t-shirt or something. It's not. I just never, I never wore it before. Shane, you tell me baseball, right? You gotta drink outside, whether you go to a bar or you post up somewhere with some beers.

We'll go to Jet Show. We'll go to Jet Show a lot. We'll fuck around. I'm sure we'll look. I gotta know somebody that's there with some sort of set up. Yeah, we're fine. Couple of hot dogs, get the grill going. Couple of beers for the boys, you know?

Did I tell you that they're fucking... I already think about hot dogs get the grill going couple of beers for the bullies you know did I tell you they're fucking I'm already thinking about hot dogs they randomly they got tickets right in front of us yeah

how insane is that it's awesome where are you guys at you behind the plate yeah but go you're watching Chris get rekt

can you give me one of these yeah go thanks tell Rachel to give me another vape just chug that what

chug that yes dude Shane was doing this this morning and it fucking works I don't know how it works he goes Chris he because he wanted to get them all fucked up right so he goes mission accomplished he goes let's go play let's go play the dice game and I was like the fuck man he started the day with another whiskey watching the Eagles game and I was like he's man when I, because Tommy texted me and Foley. Oh, yeah. What? Yeah.

He's playing the dice game. I was like, please cancel this fucking podcast. I was like, get him drunk enough. Yeah, that's what I thought. Go back to Queens. I thought that was coming. When he was like, he's up there playing with Shane. I was like, thank you.

Yeah. I was about to call in a bomb threat to this place. So I was shameless. So you had to do it. What? What are you guys talking about you had to do it. What? What are you guys talking about? When you say, Jesus Christ. When we heard that you were starting to drink again,

we thought maybe that we'd push this back. No, why? Dude, it's kind of a long time. Well, I got a picture of you sleeping like an hour ago. I told you. You took a picture of me? Well, you got video, too. Ian has like 10 seconds of video.

Of me sleeping? Yeah. In bed video You're just like really slaves you're fucking begging for mercy. Oh you do that thing too what man He was even weird at sleepovers over his bed. Like a little freak running around. You mean fun? What do you do in your sleep? You're sleeping with a parent. You see the mask? Yeah. You gotta go snort. Go to sleep.

So I talk a little bit. Is that a crime? Is that a crime? Is that a crime? He goes snoring. Oh, you're chasing blowfish. Chris is just moaning. That's all right. Fuck, dude.

Well, it's going to be a nightmare. The next five days, we got... Phillies. We're in trouble. Phillies, Phillies, Phillies. Eagles. days we got Phillies Phillies Phillies Phillies Eagles Phillies Phillies and then Notre Dame I gotta be drunk for the next it's a long week

could be in Indiana where there's plenty of stuff to do besides drink you needed to take the day off Chris you really did it's a marathon what do you mean you were playing a drinking game you don't think I'll be ready tomorrow I know you really did what it's a marathon you gotta what do you mean you were playing the drinking game

you don't think I'll be ready tomorrow I know you will baby yeah are you gonna be dragging at all or are you gonna be good to go

no I'll be firing okay yeah I'll be blacking out around the fifth inning if anybody needs me Chris firing in the morning is just

gonna be like he's gonna have a bed crease That somehow continues all the way To his lip to his forehead I get a bad one It looks like someone cut me I look like Scarface

I woke up with a case of the Sunday Omar from The Wire I woke up with a case of the Sunday Scaries this morning that were fucking brutal Well that's why you hit the whiskey right away. Yeah, you got to shut that off, dude. And I had that, too, and I needed to go banter. Tell that salesman no one's home.

Did your girl upset that you were out to leave? I wouldn't say upset. Disappointed? What would you say? Not happy. About what? I wouldn't say upset. Disappointed? What would you say? Not happy. About what? I mean, not really. It's fucking Phil's.

Yeah, it's the Phillies. She understands. The Phillies game. Was your Phillies game like 11? No. No, no, no. I know, the Phillies ended at 11. The Phillies was the worst part.

It's going down. The fucking, the dice game was the best thing in the world. That was a good time, man. We really got fucking hyped up in that thing. Everybody's screaming. Man.

Happy anniversary, boys. Yeah, happy anniversary. This is great. Thank you. To be corny for a minute, it's great to see the fucking show, man. That's awesome. Yeah, man. You guys really took off.

No, not at all. You look great. You look great feeling great. I'm shit-faced. Yeah, right now. Yeah. Yeah. We can talk about other stuff, you look great. You look great feeling great. I'm shit-faced. Yeah, right now. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we can talk about other stuff, you know.

I don't know. I think it's kind of fun. Yeah, what else is in my news? Talk about other stuff. We've got four idiots who've been drinking for the past three days together. We know two things. Sports and drinking. When are you guys getting to Philly tomorrow?

Early. I want to get in there early, too. I don't think we're going to get down there that early. Take the train. No, we're going to be in Staten Island. Staten Island. Take the car down. What do you mean?

The train? He's taking a car. Where are you guys staying? Shane's going at like 10 a.m. I'm not fucking doing that. I'm sleeping in a little bit. Yeah, we got to get down there early. We got to get a 1.30 train.

Dude, he thinks... We'll probably get down there at like 4. That's what I'm thinking, 4. I don't think so. Dude, we have a podcast. Probably to Philly. We'll probably get down there at like 4. That's what I'm thinking, 4. I don't think so. Dude, we have a podcast. We have, probably to Philly. We have a podcast at 2. I mean, you gotta think, maybe we're out of there at 2. Sure. 2 hours down,

4, checking the hotel. So we're going straight to the stadium then. I would go to the hotel then fucking hop in a car. Sure, then straight to the stadium. What hotel are you guys staying at? When's this coming out? What? What, you think fans are gonna break in your hotel? I don't know? When's this coming out? What? What? You think fans are going to break in your hotel room? I don't know.

That's just weird, though. I don't want motherfuckers to know where I'm sleeping. Like, yeah, they're not going to fuck you. Who are you? Who are you? Jesus. Jesus. Leave a fake name at the desk.

Yeah, you fuck. I don't know. That's weird. Oh, I have a room under Telly Savalas. I don't want the young broads coming in all over the place. I'm married at the end of the day. If any of you are hot fans, I want to... That's why you tell them.

We're at the Marriott. The Marriott? Yeah. I thought it was the Warwick. Nah, Marriott's better. No, the Warwick sucks. Yeah, the Warwick kind of stinks. I thought it was the Warwick.

The Warwick sucks. Yeah, you went back to 1938. He just in his glasses after it said Warwick. I thought it was the Warwick. We're a gentleman to gentlemen. Treat you right over there. It is the period of saying something ridiculous, just touching your glasses like that. We're in the Fairfield Inn and Suites.

The what? Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites.

Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn and Suites. Fairfield Inn saying something ridiculous. Just touching your glasses like that. We're the Fairfield In-N-Suites. The what? Fairfield In-N-Suites. We are? Yeah. Spreading around, huh?

Where's that Delaware? Where the fuck is that? That's got real airport vibes. There's not one of them in the city. You guys stay in Cargo City? Yeah. On 291 by the airport. Laugh it up.

When I'm sitting there with my free continental breakfast, then you'll be sorry. Small box of Froot Loops in my top pocket. There you go. Small box. When I'm in the business center slash auditorium slash kitchen. You guys will see. Smoking one of those artificial pancakes. Have my faxes waiting for me when I get up tomorrow.

When's the last time you shit yourself when it comes to breakfast? There's no way. You're always telling the line. That elevator ride back up to the hotel room is like... Yeah, if they would just do regular eggs. It's fucking Alpo. I don't mind the bad eggs. I don't like them, but if they're okay

I can get through it. If they would just do real eggs, it would be... Yeah. Instead of the box carton shit? Yeah. Instead of the box carton shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of the powdered eggs. Powdered eggs, yeah. That's some fucking D-Day shit. What do we got? Fucking Germans.

Yeah, yeah. You know that? That's all powdered eggs. What's the MRE today? Oh, no, no. What's the MRE today? He said it again. Well, he said what?

I enjoyed it. Just sit there and go, now you sure had the first thing. Snooze you lose, Fanny. The kids don't throw heat twice. Count my pitches, all right? Check the replay if you want to see. Oh, it's a 30 and want to see it's the playoffs

fuck man i closed up the mix like the uh liquid egg nah like the egg like the egg beaters yeah nah it's that powdered eggs who did those it was either egg whites or egg beaters that was the two different two different types of people the parents did egg beaters. The parents did egg beaters. I'll have some egg beaters. I don't even know what they really are. It's a course in egg beating. Already scrambled eggs. Is that all it is? It's actual eggs, though?

It's lighter, though. It's better for you. It's got to be mixed with cut or something like that. Yeah, it's cut soy or something. Somebody's got to get in the middle of it. I remember my mom used to pour water in it. That was like a depression thing to make them. In the eggs?

Yeah, to stretch them. My mother used to do milk stretch them yeah we used to do milk yeah you might ever stretch it yeah eating fucking french toast batter oh brutal damn though your mom was stretching eggs in the 90s that's just how she guys just like just add milk it's like it's like an extra no adding milk adding milk is yeah. But it also extends. O'Connor's parents put vodka in theirs. More Stoli eggs, please. Take an omelet dry, please. Two olives.

Yeah, two olives extra dirty. Old crazy eyes on a lid. I'll have a French toast on the rocks, thank you. You guys ever had whiskey in your omelets? Dude. Scrapple. My dad's breakfast game is fucking hungry. Every dad's.

That's how they show you they love you. Throw a good breakfast for dinner. Dude, cooking eggs in the bacon grease. Old school. In the drippings. God damn it, I love whole lot so much how would your dad do you do a scrapple it's all consistency inside but you have to get a certain um width so you have to go about like an inch inch and a half he does the bricks he does the bricks yeah

it's a haverset haverset only family mm-hmm Hammerson Haberset it's about an inch and a half and he let's a cover you can get behind where you let it sit for like 30 minutes on each side it's a long cook huh cuz the crust on the outside is like a nice bacon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crispy. And the inside has like a creamy. A little bit of a mush to it.

Fleshy texture. I got you. My dad would go thin and small, almost like chips. I know what you mean. With a little bit of flour on them. I like that too. He puts flour on the outside. A little flour on it.

Oh, to crisp it up. Yeah. What? It's got cornmeal in it. I like that. Hey, have you had scrapple? Can I hear the question We're trying to get the place of origin. We used to get scolded. He's searching a pair of car keys. We used to get scolded by our coach for eating too much Scrapple. Because they're used to it.

On Drexel's campus. What? Because it makes you fat? Yeah. Drexel's campus. Allegedly. Pizza to lunch. Pizza to lunchbox.

Do you know Pete's? Pete's, yeah. Pizza to lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking. And we used to hit that. Pete's, yeah. Pete's at a Lunchbox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fucking... And we used to hit that... Pete's in Center City. No, it didn't.

That place was fucking awesome. The Lunchbox? Come on. That's Little Pete's, no? Little Pete's. Little Pete's is great. No, this is... Yeah, Little Pete's is sick,

but Pete's at a Lunchbox was a sandwich truck, and it was between a jack... Getting scrappled from a moving vehicle? And it was so good. from a moving vehicle and it was so good. Salt pepper ketchup.

Salt pepper ketchup. Yeah, dude. Yes, please. Salt pepper ketchup. Salt pepper ketchup is all right. Salt pepper ketchup. Was that a long roll or? Oh yeah.

It hit me with the long roll. Dude. They don't do that up here. Dude, you go order a breakfast sandwich in Philly, it's like a two footer. It's great, dude. They cut off the end of the little ends. I know, and it's 324. It's like a two footer.

It's like a two footer. It's like a two footer. It's like a two footer. It's like a two footer. It's breakfast sandwich in Philly, it's like a two-footer. It's great, dude. They cut off the end of the little lens. And it's 325, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Wow.

Dude, that's how they pay the bills. The whole team was getting Scrabble and cheese for 325. And we were just getting fat. The whole team got fat. We would get blacked out. And our coach yelled at us. You want to walk in here with your scrap leg and cheese?

You're going to motherfuck me? You're going to motherfuck me with scrap leg and cheese? Yeah, it sounds like he wasn't about the scrap leg and cheese.

Well, the gym, the gym, the DAC, that was where the gym was. So we'd go in there to lift and all of us would just load up with Scrap-A-Leg and cheese before we walked into the weight room. So we'd all be in the locker room just pounding Scrap-A-Leg and cheese. That's my kind of school. I like that program.

I accept an application. Yeah. Let's go. And our weightlifting coach told our head coach about it, and he was furious. I used to eat a pork roll, like, pork roll, like, and cheese after getting hammered in Clifton Heights at the Olympic Diner. And it came, like, it was a foot, like you said. Yeah, man, they're huge.

A foot and a half. They're so good. Long roll. Can I say this? It's like six pieces of pork roll. Yeah. It was, I'm drooling. Yeah.

They don't do it. You can't get shit like that anywhere around here. I know drooling. They don't do it. You can't get shit like that anywhere around here. I know Kippy's a big fan. I'm going to cut you off, but the breakfast sandwich the next day when you're all fucked up. That's what he does. That kicks in like a bad

day because then it's like, oh my God, I don't get pizza for lunch, a sandwich for dinner. It's tough to bounce back. No, I know. Emotionally, you shouldn't be in the right state of mind to eat an old cold bacon egg and cheese. Sure, sure, sure.

Fucking finance took two hours to show up. I wouldn't be this drunk if he got here with the big cheese on time. I like the quote. By the way, finance got his fortune, by the way. He bought us sandwiches and brought us coffee. He's a sober guy while you're drunk. Came from Brooklyn to deliver us hot food.

Yeah. And he didn't get there in time for Chris to roll off the couch. I appreciate it. Go play a dice game. Yeah. Who shoots dice when it's light out? That's crazy. Fucking Cabby Calloway over here.

You're a grown man. You've got a dining room table. I'm going to be the woodshed. I didn't mean to cut you off. How many slices were on that pork roast? It doesn't matter. What I could do, I'm telling you right now. I don't want to interrupt this story. I'm telling you right now. How many pork troubles were on that?

He's just drooling all over his glasses. Sorry to cut you off. Get back to the cured and E, please. Meat's so salty, your feet swell. Tell me about that roll of fake hair. No, it's all right. I'm getting a little chipper. I'm not gonna lie.

Anyone need a shot? Yeah. Let's get fucked up. No. I want us for you, but- I'm flying straight today. What? Yeah. That's get fucked up. No, I'm flying straight today. What? Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good move. But I guess... I got a spot later, then it's like, yeah, if I wake up fucking hungover tomorrow, it's like, since Skank Fest, I've been like proper on a bender. 100%.

I need to wake up fresh tomorrow so I can defile my body yet again. Meanwhile, it's going to be a Guy Ritchie phone. It's going to go... So I get to file my body yet again. Meanwhile, it's gonna be a guy Richie folks Fuck you, I'm coming to London. Fuck you, I'm going to Houston. That's alright. I tried not to say it. I'm going to take it easy. I said to him,

it would be crazy if I didn't drink tomorrow, right? He was going to drive home. That's insane. He was going to drive home. I'm like, we've got to get hotel rooms. He's like, I thought I was just going to drive home. I'm like, I don't want to sit in a car after fucking... You're not going to drink tomorrow? I'm like, yo, we gotta get hotel rooms. He's like, I thought I was just gonna drive home. I'm like, I don't even wanna sit in a car after fucking... You're not gonna drink tomorrow?

Buddy, it would... I'm fucking done. This is the first home? What are you, out of your mind? I don't wanna drink. I don't wanna smoke. It's the World Series. I know.

I'm gonna do your part for the team. You're also... Honestly, I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you. I'm making a fool of myself right now. You're gonna have enough time to take a fucking nap getting out of that parking lot.

It'll take, if you drive anywhere near that stadium, it's going to take a good hour to get out of the parking lot. Oh, no, we're not going to drive. I'm not an asshole. I'm not going to drive to the game. No, you're going to drive home from the game.

Oh, fuck, yeah. I didn't think about that. I was like, what? That's fucking insane. Yeah, that's nuts. Everyone's taking a shot. You're taking a shot. We're celebrating.

I can't take that. What are you talking about? You just ordered it. Yeah, I literally went out. I thought the three of them would take one to catch up. It's celebratory. It's my cousin. Do you all want celebratory it's my cousin do you want any celebratory i haven't eaten all day i'm telling you i'm hurting from last night yeah yeah that was like drinking that was great that was just like drinking as much not like we

were just like how much you can drink sitting at a table i heard you guys were screaming and yelling until like four or five in the morning it was about five you heard about it you didn't hear There was just like how much you can drink sitting at a table, calling each other idiots. I heard you guys were screaming and yelling until like four or five in the morning. It was about five. You heard about it, you didn't hear it. Yeah, no I didn't. I was- You read the paper this morning.

I was- You didn't know all of it. We could have been fucking remodeling the place. Dude, I was star fished on my bed. He read the paper then put it on his- Complete star fish. He read the paper then put it in the to complete starfish. He read the paper and then put it in the toaster. He's putting jelly on it and stuff.

Hey, do you want anything? Yeah. You want half of this? Extra, extra. Read all that. Big party upstairs. Dirtball sleeps right through it. That man needs girlfriend to walk him down the steps because he got so drunk.

Dude, your fault. Did you? Right there, right? Did you ever have a paper route? Huh? Did you ever have a paper route? For like a minute. Yeah.

I fucking threw those things right in the trash. It's like a fucking, it's like being a, like a, I guess like a fucking deep sea fisherman. Once you realize what the job actually is, you're like, oh, I got to get up at four? It's not even that. People were, the system was flawed. How beautiful is that? You're 55. I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55 I'm 55

I'm 56 I'm 56 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57

I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57

I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 I'm 57 Fat guys in station wagons took it from kids on bikes. Yeah, yeah. They would just roll up on the window down and fucking hit them with a fucking curveball. Yeah, for the adults. You ever beat Paperboy? Huh?

You ever beat Paperboy? I can't get anxiety. I couldn't do it, yeah. But hold on. You could never get the money out of the people. What? No. When you go back fucking Friday to collect, they give you some sob story, this and that.

My dog died. That was the worst. They paid the newspaper. He's talking about the story. This and that. My dog died. That was the worst. They paid the newspaper. He's talking about the old school days, man. No. I don't know. This is 95. You paid the kid.

I remember my brother doing it. He looked like a fucking, one of the breaker boys. He had to go around fucking collecting the money. So did my brother. My brother. I went on roots with him for like a month and a half, two months. And he had it for like six months. Crazy.

They were tough to get. I remember I wanted one. And like, there was like a grown, it was like a family that had it it was like the kid and then like the dad that's how i the uncle that's how i came into it it was passed down to me yeah there was a kid who had it getting fucking no one's a better paperboy than me. I bet you would probably be a good paperboy. No, I was bad.

I can see that. No, I was bad. You ride your bike? Nah, you put those bow legs around a horse. Nah, yeah. I had a pony. You want a horse's toss in fucking inquires? Dude.

Or an old donkey. I wish I had a fucking horse, dude. Me too. Oh my God. Me fucking too. Can you imagine in my neighborhood? I bet you'd be in fucking horse. Me too. Oh my God. Can you imagine in my neighborhood? I bet you'd be in fucking horse whisper. I could see you like really-

I know I'm close with horses. Really get it. I used to hate horses, but now I love them. We were just saying they got a two foot mouth with only four teeth. They're the creepiest looking things in the world. I think it's a nice. You don't like horses? No.

I don't. They're too powerful and too unpredictable. They're gorgeous, dude. I'm not saying they're not. No, no, no. How much time have you spent with horses though? I watched one eat when I was like four and I was like, it's foaming out the mouth. Watched one eat.

And I was like, dude, we were feeding them apples. And I was like, this is too much for me. I'm fucking out. No, no. I watched one eat. Cause I was like you. That is so funny to me. It was gross when I was feeding them apples. How much time have you was like you. That is so funny. It was gross. How much time did you spend with horses? The way you said that, it was like you had a timeshare with one.

Well, what happened was, you know, my buddy had a wedding and I got shit-faced and then I hung out with horses. I just went into this barn. Hey, I'm sure there were nice ladies. I literally didn't go to my friend's wedding. Two and a half foot. I will not want to be. They were probably just town folk. You should have beautiful. Just getting some ladies's ponytail this is

fucked up just petting a local New York Ford just holding an apple over some fucking local you're one of God's creatures aren't you I want to ride you in a meadow in the sunlight far away in a rainy dew.

That's your fucking... My buddy had one as a kid. I used to fucking feed him and do this, do that. You spent fucking 20 minutes with one at a fucking wedding? I fell in love. She broke your heart, huh? I fell in love with this i think they are beautiful though they're so nice i get it now just go like go hang out with a horse if you're depressed go hang out with a horse

dude they kick you in the head no i never understood that you can't walk behind but then you see people walking behind them. What's the trigger? Well, usually it's either Puerto Rican. You can't bring an energy that's loud and rambunctious. You got to be calm. You got to match the skull. There's a certain way you have to walk behind them.

You gooch them as you go. You get my little thing. Give me a credit card swipe. Get one of these. Yeah, I'll fuck you up. You got to a little thing. Give them a credit card swipe. Give them one of these. Yeah, I'll fuck you up. You gotta warm your fingers up before you stick them in. Shane was showing us out. I don't fuck with them, man. Shane showed me that video last night of a duck walking behind a horse and the horse

is like. I know. And the duck's fucking beak is sideways. It's like a cartoon. It spins around a couple times. It's so funny. Nah, I'll be all right. He can still eat. He'll be all right.

Nah, it's fucked up. It's like he can stay up until I'm here. He's fine. He's got the union job. He'll be good. Yeah. He's got to do his adjusting. He's bad.

He's probably dead. Fucking cheese like an accordion. You throw a cigar in there, he's making money. Fine. Dude, I think I had three horses on a trapper keeper in grade school. Really? Yeah, I fucked with horses hard, dude. Did you draw them or they were just on there?

They were on there. I think I know what trapper keeper you're talking about. That was your trapper keeper? No, I had a few different ones. Honestly, that's crazy gay for you. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. But they were horses on a trapper keeper?

These horses were like hip hop horses. They were whiskey in the trapper. These horses were like hip hop horses. They were fucking. They were whiskey in the morning horses, dude. They were fucking. They were getting. Yeah. I was straight transformers all the time on my trapper. Yeah.

Rins? Clean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And when you realize you could slice the side and take it out and put your own thing in there. You're goddamn right, dude.

Yeah. I was all about those s's those diamond s's yeah man i never knew how to do them really right now bro how could you not know how it's three lines six lines oh you just doubled the amount of lines right away so yeah one two three three lines connect the lines it's the easiest thing on earth what do you got? nothing that was it?

yeah that's crazy I thought you were going to hit an ad or something oh we do have to do ads oh yeah we're supposed to do ads in the middle of the episode now they don't Giuseppe Giuseppe giuseppe

this episode sponsored by better help i'm a client myself yeah barely yeah nice i didn't take advantage of mine yet i didn't i didn't even give me anything i signed up full price i did use my promo code but use their promo code yeah promo code and our promo code is good it's 10 percent how are you liking it? It's great. Really? Yeah. It's making you better? You know, I mean, I still have a drinking problem, but sure.

Yeah, I guess it's chipping away at it. How much better do you think you are? I'm not drinking whiskey in the morning, so. Things are looking up, O'Connor. Better help. I don't know if they are. I'm not shooting dice upstairs. On the day of the Lord.

Jesus Christ. I like how you're discrediting the day of the Lord. Jesus Christ. I like how you're discrediting the sponsor too. Is it healthy? You know what you need to do? You need to spend time with some horses. Go to betterhorses.net. With promo code Arrow. Shout out to BetterHelp. Well, therapy. 33. 34.

35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42.

43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50.

51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. 58. I made an appointment and I had to move that appointment because I was ready to do that appointment, but then I had to move it. Never going to happen again. And then I was like, I'm not going to reschedule that. I know I'm not going to reschedule that for like two weeks. So now it's out of my head.

Tommy, can I sell you on BetterHelp? It's great. You like text them. There's no like, you don't have to meet or anything. Yeah. You just like message. You're like, yo, what's up? It's, it's, it's.

Yeah, but I want to see, I want to see. You can do that as well. They offer those services as well. Hey, I'm drunk. I think so. Probably. Probably is. I want to see you can do that as well. Yeah, they offer those services. Hey, I'm drunk Don't kill most of your Texas start that way I'm drunk as the world's is this something do with my largest therapy service better help us matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online. Plus, it's affordable. Fill out a brief questionnaire and match with a therapist.

If things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to another bitch. You just text someone else. You know what I mean? If this fucking dildo isn't the one for you, you can go get yourself a different dildo. It couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist learn more and say 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com stuff island that's like better help but dot com slash stuff island yeah i'm gonna give you an update that was great great read buddy did you ever do it you're supposed to it was great i'm

being serious and what you were adding was really good. Guy's trying to make money over here. Show me that it works. Show me that the people who are paying us show that it works. Well, I think I'm going to set it up. I'm telling you. Are we still in the ad here? Text. No, don't.

I want to know because the last time we had this ad read, I forget who our guest was. It might have been Shane Torres. And Shane's like, oh yeah, I'm a client. I was like, oh shit. No, don't. I want to know, because the last time we had this ad read, I forget who our guest was. It might have been Shane Torres. And Shane's like, oh, yeah, I'm a client. I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, no, it's easy. How often do you do it? Weekly, probably.

Just, you know. So I don't know. If I'm going through, yeah. Like, I haven't been able to sleep the past couple of weeks. You talk shit about me? Does my name come up at all? It better. It better.

It's better. Otherwise, I mean, what's the point? What's the point? Yeah. Does my name come up at all? It better It better otherwise What's the point? He's a real fat piece of shit this one No don't say that Do you make fun of my weight? What the fuck Do you make fun of his weight? I made a career off it what are you talking about?

I do You're a fat piece of shit Did you text your therapist about how fat he is? No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't do that. He's thinking. No. You tell him I'm good looking?

Yeah. Nice. Really? Big hot stud, I say. You are hot, dude. Talk about O'Connor. I think you're a good looking boy. No, I don't talk about O'Connor.

Dude, I watched O'Connor walk out of the gym, and then I was like on the trebles on the second floor of New York Sports Club, and I'm watching him walk the street. I was like, damn, it's a fine boy. He's got a fucking build to him. Tight little body on this kid. This man is- He doesn't stop talking about it. I tell him all the time.

He tells me all the time. He goes, I was leaving the gym, and I saw O'Connor. He's in there. He's a tight body, that O'Connor. He literally won't shut the fuck up. I had to be like, stop telling me about O'Connor, buddy. It's not cool. It's genetic.

Ferg works you in there, too. Yeah. Ferg's the man. You got to get fucking me. I know. He's asking me. It's not like I look good. I just can't be knocked over.

Huh? That's it. Yeah, well, you- Well, stop drinking so goddamn much and you won't. Yeah, yeah. I'm built like a tippy cup, dude. I can't- You are a tippy cup.

Well, you're just as wide- I got my bowl legs. What did you play on the cross? Are you a midfielder? Yeah, I was a'm built like a tippy cup, dude. I can't. Well, you're just as wide. My bow legs. What did you play on the cross? Are you a midfielder? Yeah, I was a tack. Tack. Attack slash middie, dude.

Game changed a little bit after you. Just an ottoman going fucking 30 miles an hour. You piece of shit. The game changed a little bit after you. I wasn't a thousand Iroquois fighting each other? You know my from Jamestown? Dude, the Iroquois They're the horses of humans. Who is, buddy?

The natives. The Native Americans? Yeah, the way they reign. Shout out to them. Unbelievable. Yeah. I just watched this has been history corner. Am I drunk or is this a good episode? What? We're having a great time. You are drunk.

I think this is like one of the. They're not usually exclusive. You are drunk and this is a good episode. I feel like this is a good episode. I've had a couple moments where I've been like this is a good app. Yeah, dude. The fucking, the pork roll bit rules. Dude, that better help bad. So, you're talking to somebody, yeah? I was. I was.

What? I don't think it was a good transition. No, I'm trying to get him. I'm trying to get him to talk to somebody. Can you even get me a beep? You don't talk to somebody? It's crazy. That's insane.

I call my mom every day. Yeah, she's You don't talk to somebody? It's crazy. That's insane. I call my mom every day. Yeah, she's fucking crazier than you. She's probably not doing the best thing for you. Hey. No, I bet she is. No, I mean, like, mothers don't, they're wired differently.

Have you had this Broads Cutlets? Let me tell you something. She's the one who picked by me. Well, that's what I mean. Woo-wee. That's what I mean. If I took my mom's advice, I'd be in a much better place in my life. Well, if I listen to everything that she said.

What did she tell you to do? I don't think that's true. I don't know. I don't remember. Wine before you. I wasn't listening. Fucking dumb broad. Shut up.

Another pig was yapping about something. I knew it was good advice, so I tuned it out. That's how you knew it was gonna be good. You're like, I can't- Couldn't hear over the crunching of my cereal. I can't be changed by your words right now, mom. I have- See, right now, I'm learning how to do that. I have lacrosse practice.

And then we gotta go to Pete's Lunchbox. Loaded bunch of scraps. I'll tell you about now. I have lacrosse practice. And then we got to go to Pete's Lunchbox. A load of lunch. I'll tell you about my future. If you went to Drexel between 2000 and 2010. It's Pete's Lunchbox is absolute diarrhea on a roll. You didn't hit Pete's Lunchbox. You're out of your fucking mind.

Our spot was Acapulco Pizza. And it was fucking all right. Where was that? It was terrible, too. It was at my school. Oh, dude. There's no way an Acapulco Pizza, and it was fucking all right. Where was that? That sounds terrible, too. It was at my school. Oh, dude. There's no way an Acapulco Pizza is good. You were a landlord.

No fucking way. Dude, where the fuck was Acapulco Pizza? It was there. There's only Drexel Pizza, and then there was, what's the other pizza place? He didn't go to Drexel. He didn't go to Drexel. Yeah, he's not talking about that. He's talking about his pizza place.

There's other colleges. This is like, well, I want to talk about my pizza place. How could you not go where I'm going? Where did you go? I went to Widener. Oh, what a dump.

Oh, yeah. No, I liked it. In Chester? Yeah. The campus is beautiful. The campus is beautiful. You're out of your fucking skull. It wasn't in the city.

I used to go there once a month. It's a dump. No. It's like saying Temple's campus is beautiful. Hey, Le of your fucking skull. It wasn't in the city. I used to go there once a month. It's a dump. No. It's like saying Temple's campus is beautiful. Hey, Leocore's Walk is very nice. What a shit hole. This will be more than rare to nobody.

Shout out to 17th and Diamond. Drexel now is kind of decent. Drexel when I went, shit hole. You guys would get ugliest campus of college every year. Just not anymore. They did have a bunch of money to change it. And there's restaurants along the fucking market. You lived on Temple's campus.

I lived on Temple's campus because it was so- Where did you live again? I lived on 46th and Wilmington. He has no idea where he lived. 46th and Wilmington. He's been saying that he lives on two streets that don't intersect. 46th Street isn't Temple. For the entire year of the podcast.

46 streets. He's like, I lived on 42nd and 2nd. I'm calling my best friend. Those are not streets that intersect in Philadelphia. We lived on Diamond. You lived on 17th Diamond. 17th and Wellington. That's it. But Wellington. Wellington. This lived on Diamond. You lived on 17th Diamond. 17th and Willington. That's it.

Willington. Yo, Cooch, you're on a podcast. Don't say anything bad. I know you have a job that matters. Willington and 43rd don't intersect. I like where this is going. So what streets do we live on

in Temple? We lived on Diamond and what? Well, there was a couple, man. The biggie was like 17th and Killington. Killington. Killington and 17th don't intersect. I don't know how you guys heard of it.

17th and Willington, correct? Correct. Dude, 17 runs South North and so does Willington. He's saying it's not possible. The streets don't intersect. We looked this up. Google it. Jesus Christ.

No, no, no. We were in the corner of 17th and Willington, right across the street from the 22nd District. Those are two streets that run parallel to one another. Also, we'll look it up. They don't run parallel. He's a fucking dude. He's an ATF agent who travels and knows the city.

You think I'm listening to you? You drunk fucking retard. Yeah, because he's been on drugs for 20 years. The numbered streets might run parallel. However, our address was 1701 Willington. Oh, because you're 17 blocks north of fucking Market Street. We're 17 blocks north of absolute fucking... You guys are so stupid that you don't know that you're not on 17th and Wilmington.

We're going to get into bed. Don't take effects yet. Jesus. He's so drunk, he's... He's an animal. Good point by Chris. Yeah, I'll call you back. I'm about to become an ATF agent. It's an animal. Good point by Chris. Yeah, I'll call you back.

I'm about to become an ATF agent. You were 17 blocks north of North London Street. All right, Chris, now we get it. If you don't act like you get it, you still don't know what I'm talking about. Hey, Acapulco pizza? Couple of slices, get my head on straight. I wanted to tell you about the special. That's literally like 10 blocks.

We were one of three places in that entire block that wasn't boarded up and like inch i mean like so bad like it was horrible that's north north dude they put stadium lights around temple yeah people from getting murdered yeah we got robbed three four times i got robbed twice at jack chester was bad yes the city was bad but wideners campus was really nice it was like a quaint little, cute little college. Yeah. Cafeteria was sick, though. Listen, you put a diamond in the middle of a piece of shit, you're like, oh, this diamond's

nice. The whole fucking area is so bad that it's a break. It's still a diamond, Tommy. We're washing off. I should have said a piece of glass. It's a room. It's a room. Yeah, glass.

A piece of glass and a pile of horse shit. That's what fucking Widener is. What a dump. Do we have to read another ad? You guys got angry quick. A couple of mean drunks over here. I think it would be very fitting. I've been listening to the 17th and Willington

stuff for fucking... 52 episodes. I said it once. The parallel suite. You're wrong. Let's do one more read. Wait, you're still wrong. I know exactly... It doesn't matter, Chris. Shut read. Wait, you're still wrong. I know exactly where... It doesn't matter, Chris, shut up. Yes, because it's 17 blocks north of...

As a former owl, you went there for five years. What's the one with diamond? It's 17 blocks north of Market Street, so they do it by hundreds. So if you're one block north of Market Street, it's like 120 something Broad Street or 120 something fucking.

All right. We were 1701. Yeah. Who cares? Let's go. Don't look at me. I don't give a shit. I don't care either.

What are you talking about? Shut up. Is this the hill you're dying on? I'm not dying on it. I'm just saying. I was about to die. You're talking about like a Poco's cheesesteak special. Everyone always thinks I'm wrong about it. I'm just saying. I was about to tell you about Acapulco's cheesesteak special.

Everyone always thinks I'm wrong about everything. I'm always right. Last night, there was four pitches, not five. Shane would be destroying me right now. I know. He hates this more than anything on the ground. This side of him? Yeah.

Oh, God, he gets fucking violent. Yeah. Because he'll just continue. Every blow up fight we've had with Shane is always about me knowing something. This must have been like somebody telling you that you don't know anything your whole life, like your mom or your dad, you know? What do you mean? Exactly what I said.

For someone to be like so viscerally upset about like wanting to be right about something. I don't like the idea that i know what i'm talking about well almost every time we talk and i'm always right it drives people wild oh my god all right let's do one more who the fuck is it oh she got club soda who is it it's uh oh it's my new roommate the mayor from eau claire yeah it's my new roommate the mayor from Eau Claire. Yeah, it's my third roommate. I Love how we have a little bit right here. So you got to have it. I'm sorry.

We've had a good week. Yeah, we've had. We've had a great week. You see, if you're in your cubicle right now, you're probably not having as good a week as we are. Yeah. Saturday on the listeners. The advertisers, his co-host, an ATF agent. You're sitting in traffic.

I'm fucked up. You literally. I'm the corner of all YouTube. I'm the corner of all fucking series, dude. Yeah. And suck my dick out there. Yeah. Imagine to watch me fucked up in the World Series.

I mean, this is. How do you like me now? This is. Three things you got to know about Chris O'Connor. He's never home. the World Series I'm always right fuck you happy anniversary Tommy, they made a beautiful cheese steak. It was like 89 cents. What? It was 1922. Everybody had a horse. It took eight weeks to get delivered.

Did you ever go to Cali Pizza? Cali Pizza is dog shit. I used to go to Cali Pizza having not ordered a pizza. I would go in there and I'd be like, I'd cut the line and go, I got a large cheese. And they'd be like, we don't have a large cheese. And I'd be like, oh God. At like two in the morning. So you're a thief too.

Yeah. And they would give me a free large cheese pizza. Cause they would be like, we must have fucked up. Well, that's why you like it. Now, what streets was that? That was on- 17th and- Locked out.

17th and Betty Ford. That's better. 34th and Spring Garden. So you would go in there and hustle them out of a free cheese pizza. Yeah. They for sure knew what was happening. Like, that drunk guy's back again. Give him a $6 pizza and shut him up.

You still tell us about facts that aren't right. Give him a shot of some map in five minutes. Just get him the fuck out of here. We're talking about things that we don't give a shit about. Give him a pie. Did you know that Tony Pomola and Bridges made with circus pants? They had the foggiest idea what was going on. I don't think you did.

Like a secret agent. You're at the foggiest moment of the night. Why did you have to cut the line? To show your aggravation, to really sell the cowards there. Because I was there to pick up. You got to make it, because I'm not in line. That's what he does at the airport. Do you know this? I know.

He acts like he's first class every time. Yeah, just bored first class every time. Do they stop you? No. Well, even if they did. I've seen them put people back recently. Me too. You've got to read the lady working the desk. You don't see that. You don't read the lady.

He's up there. I'm the owner of the large pizza? What the fuck? See, the thing is, there's no way to win. I order cheese fries too, you asshole. No, he thinks I'm not doing a lot of work up here so how do you read them who's a good mark to get you through? Well, look, you can tell when

someone's uptight. So this is what you do. This is how you do it. This is what you do. You drink about 45 beers. Now, this is how you do it. Cause a scene. You gotta slap those air whores on the face. Look, you guys can laugh all you want.

That's not what you were supposed to be doing. This is what you do. You got a poppy seed in the corner of your tooth that I've been staring at. Really? I read it in television. I want to surprise you to know that one smart guy. I did know. I was saving it for later.

I called it. I told you I like sandwiches later in the day. Just one piece of bacon that you just took off. I was saving it for later. I called it. I told you I like sandwiches later in the day. That's from just one piece of bacon and cheese. I like sandwiches later in the day. I know you're a big cold food guy. Yeah, I was. Well, this is what you do.

Imagine Paul. Are you bored? Paul, he's sitting on the edge of a couch going, I like sandwiches later in the day, too. Now, back to you, Tommy. Hey, Tom's out there. He's my sponsor. Tom's out with the same person. Don't let him get to you. Back to you Tommy. Hey, Tom's out there from our sponsor. Tom's out with the same person.

Don't let him get to you, believe it or not. I like eating lasagna in the toilet too, Chris. You guys want to board first class or not? You guys are going to get arrested. Tell us how to do it. You guys want to square off with an air marshal? All right, God, all right. So let me get this one out.

Oh yeah, yeah, get the ad out express vpn you guys know what that is i do you have you used it yet i have i use it for uh why whacking your winky right well that's it's incognito mode sure yeah but am i the co-host of the show i'm trying to i'm trying to initiate some organic conversation about something you've never heard or even heard of. I want to be organic. Express the shit. For child porn.

Well, I'm telling you, Jay, you got to... All right, personal endorsement. You're not supposed to read that part. Act like you mean it. It's like... Verbago. Insert host banter here. Starting point.

Fuck, dude. I'm not even going to read that. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. like for bingo insert host banter here starting points fuck dude i am getting all biden give me another shot when i'm on the road i know express vpn will keep me secure it is a really good service it protects all your data all your information all your cookies your browser history.

Nobody can fucking see that shit. They can't tell you stuff. Also, if you're using it, you can access different streaming services in different countries. They get the shit like Netflix has different stuff in Europe or Canada or wherever. Yeah, they do. They can get the good stuff. That's it. You can get the titties.

If you're trying to watch the Cowboy Way. Titties are an orange juice commercial. Yeah, you can watch it in Germany. Is that a movie? Yeah, Cowboy Way is a movie with Woody Harrelson and Kiefer Sutherland. It's not available in the US. Man, you really came over the top

and closed that ad read, I'll tell you that. I like it. Use promo code stuff. You did great. You did great. So if you want to go incognito, as my bad my buddy say and protect my buddy my young buddy James do you understand how fucking embarrassing this is what I mean yeah I do it eight times a week yeah well I'm not next to you yelling at your fucking telling you look true this is a sabotage shut the fuck up just up. It's like me taking my pecker out. You might be interested in some sexual stuff that's not strictly legal.

Oh, God. Here we go. Express VB. It's barely legal. I saw it like my teens. Barely legal. The dude sleeps with one horse. All of a sudden, he knows how to get around.

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Now back to the show. Oh, i can't stop thinking about you there's a horse eating a bunch of apples you got you got a guy grazing up there just real slow you're out to lunch with that's one of the best lines alright first class go ok so this is what you do you sit I know let's say you're flying delta

ok they go first class diamond club first what you do is those people stack up and then you just become the last person in that line because they don't know

until they call so they would call main and you get a read you look at how like if she's just letting people scan and she's not looking at the tickets then you go oh I'm home free because if she's going and looking at the phone.

He's going like Raleigh. He thinks he's boarding a train to fucking Germany to save his life. I'm home free, baby. We did it. You think you want to board me? Everybody is talking about me. And nobody is none the wiser. Yeah, yeah.

And then you just go on first class and then. Walk to the back of the plane. Yeah. Well, you do get upgraded often too does he yeah well I've started to now because I became a member we're different now do what he does it one year what are you Delta yeah what out what status to tears platinum your platinum I'm gold I'm gold as well hold out to be cold platinum oh I'm gonna play no. Hold up. I'm about to become platinum. I'm gold. No, you're not. No, you're silver. You're silver. Silver. I just hit gold.

You guys both know that. We travel. Yeah, I know. I was talking to him last night. Oh. I was going to say, oh shit. I might have to take a little trip to fucking boost that up. Yeah, get in there before December 31st.

Otherwise, you're fucked. I'm like 25. I can't make it. You got to do it before the calendar year? Yeah. To earn it for next year. And we're going to start over? Yes.

Oh, what the fuck? I'm 10,000 away. I didn't sign up until two months ago. I just saw I'm juiceless. Oh, yeah. No, no. You got to...

You'll get it though. Next year, you'll get it. All right. If I get to... Let's say I get to silver before it's locked in. Then you're locked in there. Yes.

Okay. So I got to hit... Is the bargain worth it? Is it overall worth it? Oh, yeah. Dude. You travel a lot. Yeah.

I mean... I'll tell you what. The egg whites at the fucking Delta Lounge. Delta Lounge is all right. Depends. It depends where you go. LaGuardia and Delta Lounge sucks. What?

I hate LaGuardia. Oh, no. JFK sucks. LaGuardia is nice. LaGuardia is gorgeous. It's nice. It's brand new, dude. You're out of your mind.

I think I might be in the room. I literally want to go to LaGuardia. We haven't been to that. The one we went to fucking sucked. Turtle 2 at JFK is one of the worst Delta engines. Yeah, that's brutal. JFK sucks. It's above the Wendy's.

Yes. It's garbage. Are you sure you're going to hit a fucking elevator and all that shit? LaGuardia is brand new. They just built it. It's immaculate. Oh, wow. Where did we hang out?

The one in LA? The LAX is fucking tight ass. Dude, it's so sweet. There's an outside park. Yeah. That's where I met my wife. What? At the LAX. LAX. Yeah, there's two outside park yeah that's where I met my wife what at the LAX

LAX yeah there's two coffee stations at the one in LaGuardia speaking of coffee yo thank you boys yeah of course where are we at

you got a spot soon we're done with this app but we're gonna do page if you wanna stick around you can stick around we love yous yeah thanks for having us it's been awesome to watch you guys fucking cook.

I cannot wait until tomorrow. We're going to have so much fun. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be good. You guys are worried about me. Worried about you? Yeah.

Mr. First Class, are you kidding me? I'm worried about you. You'll find a way. Yeah. Always bored. The last person. You'll be pitching tomorrow. I got a jersey.

This guy didn't even read the name on the back. I'm not Mike Schmidt. He let me write in. He's a fucking idiot. I'm in the booth with Tom McCarthy. Chopping it up with crack. Just Chris boarding the clubhouse. Go, go, go.

Go, go, go, go. We'll see you. What? Yeah. Wow. Congratulations. Yeah, boy. You're in the breaker's house.

Come on.