Stuff Island - Stuff Island #64 - sci-fi porn w/ Kevin "KFC" Clancy

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Stuff Island #64 - sci-fi porn w/.Kevin "KFC" Clancy - We are joined by the hilarious KFC to discuss that cop who had a train run on her, and some other stuff as well, much more - Full episodes also available on Apple/Spotify/etc. & bonus episodes are available on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/stuffisland - Support the show and get up to 33% off some sweet new metal art with the code STUFFISLAND at https://displate.com/stuffisland?art=62e80374c5e2d - Ad: visit http://www.manscaped.com (http://www.manscaped.com/) and use code STUFFISLAND for 20% off! - Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the patch.. Each week they'll talk about anything & everything under the sun. Twice a month Tommy cooks a delicious dish & twice a month they live stream VR Golf and Onward with fans. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en Thank you, and God bless Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The hangover is a necessary evil that the world needs to have because if not it'd be fucking chaos yeah yeah if there was no repercussions it'd be like why don't we just do this all the time yeah anyway and let's let's face it a lot we do it a lot anyway yeah even with the hangover so if it wasn't there it would be like seven days a week non-stop yeah yeah it's only drugs that fuck me up yeah drugs will put me out for two or three days i i was i fell off a cliff like i was good it wasn't like a slow steady like oh man like that that start that that hurt more than usual or hey that that that uh hangover started to linger i went from like okay to like boom two day hangovers every time yeah and then once you

have the kids you got kids the kids is the first time there was is one time it happened and one time only i was hung over with my kids and i was like never again yeah yeah they said with a newborn is like i'm gonna kill all of us yeah like you know you hear those stories of like women who drive a fucking minivan into the river i guess i get it you're hung over with two kids under two yep it happens i got to imagine it's worse when they can start asking questions. Well, that's the thing. Just don't hit me with any questions. Also, when they're cognizant enough to just be like, what's wrong?

You know what I mean? Like when they're newborns, it's like, you don't know that daddy's also puking. Dude, I said this before. Six or seven, they do. You didn't know like your fun uncle was a fucking pill head you know what i mean you didn't know why he had like that the missing tooth like the clown on the boardwalk right right they just fell out from all the drug use honestly i have like two aunts two uncles and i look back and i'm like oh that's why they were so your teeth were falling out of your head too so you're

like this is just we're all together it's supposed to happen when you your head too. So you're like, this is just, we're all together in this. It's supposed to happen when you're fucking 10, not when you're 50. It's just fun people have their teeth fall out. You remember like all the times my dad was just boozing, like every fucking night. He didn't care. But that's also why he was so miserable after work. Like he was just like, he was fighting a hangover for 30 fucking years. I think about teachers, man.

I used to have teachers who were like in their mid twenties20s who first of all i thought were like the authority yeah now i'm like you're a fucking idiot oh shit and like i went to the school when i was in sixth grade i was at ps 175 on city island in the bronx and this this school was stacked with hot teachers guys and girls like hot chicks and then even the dudes i was like yo these guys are fucking and like at the time even you know sixth grade i'm like wow these are like hot girls even then though i i'm not even thinking about it as i get older i'm like yeah they were all fucking each other of course they all don't know what they're talking about they're all partying when they roll in the fucking tv to watch a movie it's because they're hungover yeah these things that you don't even think about until you're like

oh unless you're a college professor you're just a glorified babysitter 100 but there is something to be said for that like babysitting sucks bro so glorified babysitters are true like i mean i wait when you're when you're like a teacher for for like kindergarten first grade second grade third grade it's the worst fucking job in the world i used to say this where it's like stand-ups hard doing like 30 minutes or an hour a whole day of six hours you're doing six hours and new and this kid is like shitting his pants and this girl's crying and this girl's fighting with this boy and like oh my god that's why the older older grizzled ones like the history guys they don't give a fuck yeah the

history is good because it doesn't change nothing changes i remember this guy had like a stack and he was like this is my curriculum and i do this every year september october it's like the hat comic doing the same 30 minutes yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, you know, the American revolution ain't changing folks. I loved it in school when, when, when I finished high school, I was early two thousands.

So I love like by the end, they like the textbook was like, and then there was the cold war. And then there was like desert storm. That's it. Oh yeah. Textbooks like truly stop at like world war two. You don't even really know you don't really you touch on vietnam and that's it anything that happened like from 1950 on the textbooks like oh yeah and that

also ps but i don't know now that's probably changed i feel like when we were going to school it was just like whatever whatever whatever it was the same i feel like everyone's parents and the kids probably have like fucking that history's wrong you know what i mean i'm sure they're right but there's like i bet there's guys that are in their like 50th year of teaching that are just like history's easy yeah you're probably right i take them up to the gulf war and i just uh it's summer break yeah yeah dude and now it's like it's probably the worst subject on earth but that's only all right it's probably the worst subject on earth. But that's only, it's like, just give me English. Well, kids,

that only happens though. I'd much rather deal with Google's a word now. Whatever. Some purple banged meat wagon in the back on. Like, that's not why we were in Afghanistan. It's like, shut up,

bitch. I don't want to talk about the oil tycoon. He's trying to find her through his trifocal. He was like, shut up, bitch. I don't want to talk about the oil tycoon. He's trying to find her through his trifocal. He's like, Jesus Christ, Peggy. She's like, it's Dan now. It's Dan. I was Peggy last week, Mr. O'Malley. You're getting in trouble for that shit too, I bet.

You dead name someone. I guess they have to fucking, all these teachers probably have to go to like, you know whatever the training sensitivity training like every month going you can't say this i think they can do this if you let it happen i think if there's the history teacher who goes like no america was right yeah always and that's what i'm teaching you know what can you do now i i i knew someone i knew someone who was like who was uh they they had like, who was, uh, they, they had like a, like in their, like in the class they had, like they had some kids that were like extra MAGA kids

and some kids that were like hyper liberal kids. And they literally formed like an elite team of teachers to manage the situation. It was like a Marvel movie. When did you legitimately even have a single thought about politics? When did that start? It still hasn't.

9-11 was like... The only time that I even started to think about world dynamics and shit. It was like Obama's a big deal because he's the first black president. I knew about Bill Clinton. I heard that as a kid I would hear about that. But that was more of just a scandal.

The fact that there are kids in regular ass school being like, I'm a Republican as like a fucking middle schooler or something? Get the fuck out of here. I never even heard parents speak publicly about politics. Somebody asked me, are you a Republican or a Democrat? And I said, I'm a Mets fan. You can pay this line to my family.

He's a woman asshole. Are you Giants? Are you Giants guy or Jets? I'm Mets, Jets, Knicks knicks islanders not really hockey though see i appreciate that there's a fucking there's a code yeah i appreciate this and let's be honest like 75 does for whatever reason fall into the code but these i call them gypsies these little fucking gypsies who go like i'm a giants fan and a mets fan well no yeah you know because you're you're celebrating eli beating tom brady but then the calendar know because you're you're celebrating Eli beating Tom Brady

but then the calendar flips and you're like a woeful Mets fan again yeah it's like because to me my personality is like I'm a fucking loser fan who's always chasing the championship but but it can't be that way in the spring but different in the fall yeah because you know the Giants win championships or the worst is Yankees Jets getes, Jets. Get the fuck out of here. As a Jets fan, you're like the, you know, the Jets are the lowest of the low. Dude, I'm not kidding. But then they turn around

and go like, 27 rings. Like, no, no, no. You're either a fucking loser or a winner. 100%. And we're trying to like, you know, the winners

are trying to keep up and the losers are trying to overtake them. Yeah. It's so funny just thinking of you being like a Giants fan in like 1991. They win the Super Bowl and you're like, can't do it.

I can't do it. There was actually a time when we first started the blog. So the Knicks used to be like my number one team. Because I think because I like the sport itself the best, like basketball. I played basketball in high school. I like the game. So the Knicks were like my team. And then Dolan just fucking ruined it.

Right. And so there was like, you know, that 10, 15, now it's like 20 year stretch of just not even bad, but embarrassing. How?

Cause they got the worst owner in the world who fucking medals. He owns the Rangers and the Knicks. He leaves the Rangers alone. They make the playoffs like every fucking year. The job, the Knicks, he just medals with and likes to be front and center. And the star of it all, James Dolan. He is, he make the playoffs like every fucking year. The Knicks, he just medals with and likes to be front and center and the star of it all. James Dolan.

He's the classic. He's the son. So his father, Charles, I believe, is a fucking, you know, a man who created Cablevision and like started a fucking empire. Ah, the type of guy that grabs the ass of a secretary while blowing smoke in his face. And then his son, you know, he's like, here you go. You inherit this. And that kid's an asshole. It was the same thing with the Mets.

Jeff Wilpon is the son. He's the fucking asshole too because he never worked for it. Anyway, my point being, you can't switch teams because the Knicks were terrible for so long that I really took a step back and I wasn't watching as much. And the nets, when I started barstool was kind of like the hot up and coming shit where it was like the Russian dude bought them. They traded for Paul Pierce and Garnett Jay-Z was in the mix, all that. And I was like, I'll blog about the nets. Like I was like, I can never like be the nets fan,

but I'll take on, you know, this fandom. Like I couldn't do it. I was like, well, that's not real. It's like hockey. I could do it. I faked it with the Islanders because I don't know shit about hockey. Never played it. Never watched it. Don't care. And so it was like a bit, I was like, let's go Islanders.

And everyone knew I was faking it. The Nets. It was like, I was trying to write about the team and I was like, fuck these guys. The Nets are, you can, you can argue all the other teams in New York. The Nets are the most irrelevant thing, maybe in all of sports. And they put together fucking, like a bomb squad and nobody cares. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, they're just, yeah, it's just not a likable. We used to get Jimmy Fallon's tickets to the Nets because he was originally a Knicks fan. But they wouldn't leave him alone they were fucking him every every every game he went to like the fans were just brutal so he switched to the nets and then and then he was like i balanced in courtside and people are just like hey you fucking loser jimmy fallon pretty much yeah you're gay yeah yeah you ran him out of town yeah and then he was like i'll just go to the net stadium and apparently he was like i don't give a fuck about the net and then just gave the tickets away i was gonna say like i get it you had tickets to the garden i'm assuming courtside yeah and you're

like oh let me go to the barclays center for the nets instead that's like you know that's that's like filet mignon down but if you don't give a fuck about the nets the barclays center is really nice i guess but like i, but the fucking garden is five rows off. Center court. That is the most annoying thing about going to a Knicks game is because I always go to the cheapest possible game that I can get tickets to. And so that means that the floor seats

are always some fucking emo band. You know what I mean? It's like Globetrotters versus the fucking Generals. And literally it's just like some dude with like a six foot tall Mohawk and they're all just sitting there. It's just like, what the fuck? If I was close to them, I would happy comes like a, you know, a social event influencer

thing instead of, I still, I've sat in a very good, I've sat in very good seats. I still have not been like fold out chair on like on the fucking court. Yeah. And that's still like a bucket list. I got to check off even with like, I'm so disinterested in the Knicks now, but like that's still that's, that's almost the curse of the Knicks is it's still,

it's right in the middle of Manhattan. It's still such a destination that they'll always make money. Yeah. So Dolan just keeps fucking like, keep letting it. I had front row corner of the end zone when the Eagles lost in the playoffs last last year yeah and i saw what's his face um but at least there's a little bit of a gap there i think i think that's what's not here i think dude watching them up there's less uh incidents than there are yeah like the mouths of the palace and that you would think

that would happen like once a fucking season. God, when he misses that, he misses that fucking fat dago by like a hair on that full punch. He slips a little bit. That kid's head.

If he didn't slip, that guy would be dead and he'd be in jail. It's one of my wishes. And they would have, honestly, I think they would have stopped like courtside.

I think they would have put up camps or something. Tell me, dude, if I rub this fucking lamp and I got three wishes, one of them is that guy gets hit. One of them is that dude connecting yeah it's knocking that fucking dango so his italian horn would fly into the fucking upper deck his teeth would have fell out like fucking confetti he looks like turtle from authorized he's like you know just standing

there ready to fight jermaine o'neal was like 16 10 whatever the fuck he's got no shores in his fucking he's got a pear-shaped belly he's like let's go dude let's fucking go what are you fisticuffs out of your fucking mind being dude that is he misses him by a fucking hair i'm watching god for jermaine o'neal like you know that he probably watches that back going oh my god thank god i would have caught a case yeah that shit is wild man just some boardwalk fucking dago from new york trying to start a fight with literally one of the biggest dudes on the planet you watch them guys up close you're like how is this real that's why how are

you sitting i know people say hockey live is the best and i understand it uh but you watch if you get good seats to a high level basketball game and you're watching i went to the garden in whenever they had the all-star game i want to say 98 it was jordan on the wizards so on his way out but still in the league it was like the rise of kobe and garnett i mean it was an unbelievable squad and i i think it was i watched like an alley-oop from like garnett to kobe that i was like we were probably like 10 rows back. My dad got us tickets to work and shit. And I was like, I've never seen anything like that.

It's just like, there was the best players in the world. And now it's gotta be even crazier because you're watching guys pull up from like half court. You're watching dudes who are seven feet tall who can run the floor and dunk and shit. That's what I'm saying. Floor seats to a playoff game, I think would be too much i i don't know if i could control myself much i think like you're so close to dude imagine someone shooting a three-pointer from right there that's like the

seasons on the line somebody runs by me close i don't think i can trust myself not to just be like like when i get crazy about for a second yeah you trip somebody i'd just be like, like, like I get crazy about this shit. For a second. Yeah. You trip somebody? I'd just be more pissed off hanging out with rich people. You know what I mean? Like these fucking, these Jewish kids that own like a fucking,

a mortgage company. You know what I mean? And he's yapping at fucking LeBron. It's like, dude, shut the fuck up. You've never shot

a free throw in your life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's my fear is like, uh, being the guy they'll, you know,

they put it up on the jumbotron you know they're like and tonight we've got yeah you're the person next to the famous one and you're in the shot yeah and it's like you're somebody but you're not somebody enough that they came to you they went to the guy next to you i never understood why people bring like side pieces to these events they get caught it's so funny it's insane how often they get caught there's one famous one in soccer it actually started to make the rounds again yeah it's that's actually old yes that one is a little bit old and recirculated and he he like uh uh like confessed to it and he's still with that the side piece i saw that he lost he

like like lost his family yeah but he's like uh they i i. I saw that. He lost, he like, like lost his family. Yeah. But he's like, they, I saw some of them link to his Facebook and had like their, all their profile pictures and their headers and stuff are them all like snuggly and they were like,

look, he found love. They have to be. You gotta be committed. Yeah. Yeah. That woman could suck and you gotta be like,

we gotta ride this out. My brother's now with my ex-girlfriend and like my mother told me over Christmas, she starts giving me updates and I was like, mom, I don't give a shit about what what the fuck is going on i was like they have

to be together have to there's no break because what's he gonna come back to christmas or thanksgiving without her and just play hey sorry about all that fucking thing for five years yeah you gotta ride that piglet out i don't know how that works. He probably thought it was just calming down enough now to break up with her. Reset the car! Back to zero! Tommy's still kidding! Dude, still racing off the whiteboard. At that point, I imagine it's like, even if they're not in love, they're like, look, we can have an open relationship.

We'll just go to Thanksgiving together and then we go in separate ways. We have to pretend this is still going on. That would be a real tough one for me, I think. Good on you for not causing World War III. I remember when I said that on. I thought you were joking. I said it on an internet. On an internet.

I thought it was like a. He texted me like an hour later. He's like, wait, was that serious? I was like, oh yeah. He's like, holy shit. You know, we make up scenarios for that shit all the time it's like oh okay you just assume we're right yeah you guys this one's pretty wild this is totally

that's my life how funny you brought this one up it's like chris gave you side information so you pull a card that fucking show man is so fun it's the internet really you know what it's so fun it's fun if you're good at it though i know and you guys are and and so that's why it comes out awesome but i will say who's the worst can you say i can't say i can't say dude get dirt uh but there are definitely some people who are like and they know it usually they're like that wasn't great you know because it's like the key to i think answer the internet and blogging and internet video all this shit yeah is taking

non-serious topics seriously but not too seriously yeah not serious enough that you're doing like politics where you're fighting each other, but I will argue to the death whether a polar bear can fight a fucking great white shark in a pool. It's like, nobody knows, but I'll act like I'm in court arguing my fucking opinion. You have to act like you're standing

on your bed and you're six years old, yelling at your mother as to why you want dinosaur pajamas and you have to have dinosaur pajamas. Original name, we were working with a whole bunch of things and originally I wanted to just call it Who Would Win in a Fight?

Because I used to just lay in my bunk bed with my brother and go, who would win a fight? A monkey versus a fucking alligator. Yeah. Iron Man versus Spider-Man, you know? And that was one of the original names. I mean, like,

guys have been doing that since the beginning of fucking time, I'm sure. You know, a tiger versus a fucking lion. It's the same thing with Artie Garbage. It's like, you were just with those guys today. Yeah. It's a great little hook. It's like, it's a simple.

Were you laughing? I don't know. You got a lot of good. It's just funny because it's like, it's like, it's just like, it made me realize it's like where you still get the energy for those type of stupid fights now in life. You know i mean well people will be like what the hell was that about i've been losing my brother for 30 years i'm not taking another

so true how the hell did it get that here what the hell was that? It's like, well, you don't know. I was like throwing beers. The police show up. You know, immediately when someone. Where did that come from? When they're the youngest, you're like, oh, how many older brothers do you have?

Yeah, you're bruised and battered, man. Dude, it's just chicken wings. I don't know why you keep fucking yelling about it. It's like, yo, my brother fucked me up for 10 years. You suck my dick. And then you just...

It's generational trauma. That's what it is. A hundred percent. Dude, I got pissed this morning because I went to the coffee shop and I was like, yeah, can I just get a large coffee with whole milk?

And they gave me a large coffee with oat milk. Yeah. I don't fuck with any of the almonds and oats and all that shit. This has been happening to me day in and day out. I go, can I get a large coffee with whole milk? And they go, okay. And they just don't do it. Yeah.

Is it because they don't have it or because they just don't give a fuck about you? It's because I kind of just blur my way through through if you saw his energy in the first couple hours of the day yeah dude yeah when you go oh milk it probably sounds like oat milk oh milk but you know what i'll tell you this i'll take home oat milk every single day before i go excuse me can i have a whole milk i'm just not doing that in the morning. I don't have, I'm sorry. The certain things. Why don't you just say milk? I'm not going to have perfect diction for it.

I don't think they would assume oat milk if you just said milk. Milk and sugar. They just assume like oat milk. These people assume. That shit's got to taste good. I saw this new bring it today. He brought in like a giant fucking dog. And he's a big fat like New Yorker.

Loud and rambunctious. And he just the dog or the guy both of them the dog was going wild banging fucking chairs he's like oh i'm so sorry about that i want a large hot coffee with two sativa oh dude screaming sativa and i'm like sativa that's a sweetener right yes yes yeah yeah so if he you just have to not you have to conceive yeah yeah the weed or oh yeah yeah yeah whatever but i can see the guy saying sativa in that story that made sense to me it's like you kind of you have to you have to talk to these kids it's my i get fucking passionate about this my my favorite people are baristas and bartenders if you're 23 and you're from like the midwest and you're aspiring actress you shouldn't be a bartender ever you have no idea what it takes to be a bartender you really don't i don't mean

like listen to me this is true dude i said it before i know this is why all the bartenders in delco are grown-ass men with grandchildren they know how much it means to somebody when there's a little bit of beer left they'll get to your fucking they they scan they fucking scan these other people are just like talking to somebody for 25 minutes you're like a part therapist part waiter part buddy dude so part server my best friend you gotta have everybody filled up yes some of my best friends are my bartenders yeah because i go into the hours where no one is there between like five and six no one's like coming in yet you get like face time sure you know what their wife's you know you know what they're everybody's family 100 it's like those are

the best a good bartender is a good bartender at a good bar is invaluable. Like it'll change your life. That's why Midtown and a bad bartender will ruin your week. Yeah. Yeah. But I thought you were going to say the other thing, which is just like dudes who talk too loud in situations like that. Yeah. Cause there was a guy in front of me in the line today that again was just

like, dude, he just went in there and he was like, yeah, can I get a large macchiato with some something it's just like dude fucking you start low and then you slowly bring the level up you know what i mean if they're having trouble hearing you you raise it up all of this shit is like it's just and you can tell that how are there people who just don't know how to do this right because they were never

struck i guess so yeah and there's also like bullied their way into it whether it's a teacher or a parent or another kid or whatever the thread here there's also like there's a weird psychological complex too it's like someone who shakes your hand too hard it's like dude this is get over it this is where you're trying to win yeah you know what i mean it's that thing where it's like like well we know someone we know how chris feels about his handshakes clearly not winning many you know he's he's envisioning

envisioning the exact guy yeah every handshake he's like I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I lost I'll say something

I'll go what do you what do you what are you doing what's wrong with you yeah this is this is like do I have arm wrestle right now what are we doing

you feel inferior yeah I feel like I got something pull over on you dude it there was a guy there was a guy who came up to me and said hi to me like at one of shane's shows over christmas who's like a the father of a kid i used to coach lacrosse and like just one of these guys fucking fleece vest with like the youth lacrosse team literally on it and it's a quiet room someone's on stage and he comes up and he's like hey so and so chris o'connor you remember me from it

and it's like dude dude i know that you live in a world where whispering is somehow like a fucking bitch move yeah you know what i mean you're a beta soy you don't talk as loud as you possibly can at all times yeah gay yeah someone's an angle on you it's like dude but just shut the fuck up just be quiet yeah no any fucking dad that's gonna approach and be like yeah you coached my son 20 years ago who gives in general the you know like do you remember me yeah uh probably not yeah like 99 of the time it's like i don't know are you one of my very close friends and i'm right or did something like crazy happen remember that time you were in the car act you know whatever yeah but if it's just like i get it a lot and god bless them because i know that they're probably like our biggest fans and the people who

watch and listen the most but like yo yo that one time like you tweeted at me because we were talking about the mets i'm like bro how many tweets have something about the mets yeah come on i don't remember you i'm sorry yeah i met you in portland six years ago and it's like okay great sounds good and then you you remember the thing you said yeah sure if i had sex with you six years ago gone right six Six years. No offense. Dude, I actually think about this a lot when I watch these like true crime

or a movie or some shit. Like if I was a witness on the stand, I don't remember. I do. And then you, and when people are like, it's a case from like 20 years ago. Yeah.

Like, you know, you could, what color was the car? If the crime was yesterday, I'd be like, I think it was white. Yeah.

You need DNA. Yeah. In every one of my stories. Check the DNA. Otherwise, I got nothing. Yeah. could what color was the car if the crime was yesterday i'd be like i think yeah i need dna yeah in every one of my stories check the dna otherwise i got nothing yeah i got nothing it would come off cool though like i'm not snitching you're like i don't remember hardcore no i literally don't remember i would snitch in a heartbeat i just i can't i don't know i don't know i was fucked up it was two ago. I have plausible deniability from like 2001 through the present. Yeah. 1998. I was drinking on a golf course in high school.

Like if I could start there. Is that funny how every, every school does that? Like a lot of schools. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like most schools are either in, in the woods. We called it the woods and it was like on one of the fairways or on one of the greens. It makes a lot of sense because there's the playgrounds and then there's the school fields where you do all your sports and after school curricular activities.

Yeah. And then you don't have a lot of space because the cops would patrol the fields and the courts. There's this one place that we used to go to called Dermott Field where they keep the lights on the basketball court, but for like, I'd say 700 yards, there was this blacked out football space and baseball fields where you'd hide in corners. But then the cops, you'd just see them come up, flick a light on, then every moment scared like rats.

Scared like roaches, yeah, yeah, yeah. With a golf course, you'd pick a hole. You know, now you have like 7400 yards we were always told that the the course we were on was a public course i was right on the border of the bronx and westchester and we were told that like the cops don't have jurisdiction and they can't go in there and they just did they were just coming but they would also not want to because you're like running through the mud and you're in trees and fucking dude it was fucking and again i'm thinking like the same thing as cops as teachers they're probably like i don't want to fucking do this but like yeah i i'm on

duty today and there's the kid with the keg like let me chase him tell you what watching watching the cops like come up on us like at a keg and their whole objective is just to ruin our party because no one can hear us in the fucking woods we're just having a good time no it's just and watching a girl like run away and fall into a fucking pit like a sand a bunker yeah dude this i watched this one girl fall into a bunker and i threw up i threw up laughing as i was running away from the cops i had like the cops probably love that too if it's like a young cop, they're like, oh, yeah.

You think so, but if they're chasing you in the first place, it's to stop potential DUIs and car crashes. I mean, there was a shit ton of that, so I don't blame them. Which happened.

Yeah, but that's what pissed me off. I remember when I was a junior, senior in high school, there was a program that kids set up that was just like look uh we don't want anyone drinking driving just fucking if you're fucked up at a party somewhere just call these kids and one of them will like drive you home no questions asked like

fucking yeah yeah but fine but then then then like the the like the police there was like they issued some special task force where they put like like a half a million dollars into like like unmarked cars to catch like kids drinking and shit like that it was just like why don't you just pay for a bus yeah yeah let's just do it we're gonna fuck so give me condoms we're gonna drink let's make it safe yeah that's why i do always love the one parent who was like let's do it under my roof so nobody drinks and drives i think those parents are a little bit weird because they're inviting children over their house to like drink and have sex and stuff

secretly they're like can i join you but i'm happy they exist because i want the you know the basement part i only know one kid that uh that survived that that whole drink in the basement. Yeah, there's only one dude that became a normal kid and parent. You mean like the kid of those parents? Yeah, there was like three houses we could drink in the basement and the other two kids are fucking scumbags, right?

But they're a necessary thing in high school. You're my best friend, dude. Those days were... We started drinking early. We went to bars when we were like kids. There was a strip of bars on North Avenue in New Rochelle. It was the underage drinking capital of the world as far as I was concerned.

There was like three or four bars on the strip right by Iona College. Yeah, I was going to say. The Iona kids would go there but so would like the fucking high school like i mean like freshmen we're talking like 15 years old in the bar there was there's a police station across the street from one of the bars and i guess they just you know pay each other off or whatever and uh and then i think it was um what's her name janine piero came in and cleaned it all up and like and probably for the best because there's like again there was like 16 year old drunk driving going on i thought janine

piero was gonna be like a 15 year old girl no no no no absolutely shit face and then came in janine Piro. No, she was like the DA or whatever the fuck it is. I'll never forget when she walked in. Yeah, just a skinny Italian with big fat naturals. Janine Piro. Because that's normally how everything gets ruined. It's like someone brings someone who's not equipped to handle the illegal activities. Yes, that is true.

And it ruins everything. And you knew from the jump. Yeah, dude. It should be like the mob. You're like, are you vouching for the jump. Yeah, dude, it should be like the mom. You're like, are you vouching for this guy? Yeah. Are you about to,

because you know what? Janine Piro is the one who falls in the bunker and weighs you down. And then you both end up in cuffs because you had to wait for Janine. Yeah. Yeah. And then your father's. It's every man for himself. Oh,

dude. Yes. We used to go to the mama's parade in high school. My brother, my brother was a bartender at like 19 and i was 15 at that time and he he would let me and my other brother sit at the corner of this like mary's cafe in clifton heights it was like a fucking shithole and we would just park up every saturday when he would when he was just 15 years old drinking next to these old more vets i had my brother my brother's four years older than me so he had a fake id that needed to be older you know he was 15 in you know 1990

or whatever so he needed so i had a fake id that said like 1978 on it because he passed it down to me and it was like i was 20 like it made me like 26 and you know from connecticut and and it worked like no problem it worked yeah you got a connecticut and then uh we also in new york the ids were this weird weird material where you could get um colored pencils and chalk and you could chalk your id yes and i think it's only certain cards work like you have like a plastic piece of plastic doesn't work this was like you could you rub it with a white crayon and it almost erases yes and then you write with a red pencil like you change the number but it said your birthday up here but also down in the corner was another birthday that was

tiny so you had to get that one too and there were kids though who like art like art artsy kids who could paint and shit who were good at this because it couldn't look like scribble and if you could chalk an id you had a business you would be like yeah dude i remember chalking ids like it was the new york id specifically that was literally like it was right it was half a step above a student ID. They were floppy and they were smooth. It was weird. It looked like they were literally cutting them out of manila envelopes. I knew a kid who...

That's why Muhammad Atta was like... Boy, do I have a plan for New York. We need a couple art buddies. I got a couple crayons. We got some crayons and some blankets. Let's go, man. We just need a couple dudes from Florida to get their license in.

But we got something planned for you. I knew a kid, this Indian kid in NYU. It's 9-11. I was talking about 9-11. You don't get it. Casey's kids don't know who Muhammad Atta is. The scariest looking human being. Oh, that picture, dude.

The eyes on that man. Holy fucking Christ. I mean, you see those pictures and it's like, yeah, that guy, he's the type to fly a plane into a building. Same thing as the school shooter.

He's always like, yep, that's the one. Every time. Never like, you know, great looking guy with like, you know, the quarterback of the team. Yeah, we need to start stopping them.

You know, like the stop and frisk where every poor black dude in the fucking inner city gets stopped for like drugs and gun illegally. Yeah, yeah. It's like, start stopping these school shooters for looking like a fucking maniac stop and frisk with the the like angsty fucking yeah you know it's crazy white kids ask them what his hobbies are you know just get two questions out of them you know what it is

those kids like they just need to get laid yeah Yeah. Because once I think that happens, you're like, well, I got to try to do that again. And life's worth living. You're like, God, I try to get some chicks again.

You know, that's what they never, they, they, they all are at that point in time where they're not, it should be a test. You come across one of these little creeps. You take out a bag of roadkill or a poor mag.

Which one do they pick? Which one do they pick? Are you truly a killer? Or you just want to get your bird popped off? Lawrence Fishburne is sitting there. Which one do you pick? It's just a bag of squirrels and a bag of tits.

A silicone asshole or a fucking raccoon with its head off. Just see which one he reacts to. That's what you need is like a like a vigilante chick who runs around banging high school kids to stop them from

Yeah, well they have teachers like that. They should be heroes. It should be like, you know, you spot them and then we send in like this you know, slutty chick who doesn't care and she'll fuck them and you know make sure they don't want to kill anybody yeah also these teachers like yeah i've never talked about this but they're like you know 22 23 years old yeah the kids are 17 that's crazy when when you when you're when you're a young girl and you're teaching high school it's

like this is a problem come on it's a problem for the school because you're yeah it's like cats in school how about that cop the cop who was getting a train run by all the guys and then she said it was because i was in an open relationship and the husband was like no we're not oh my god he's sticking by her he's no he's not and she's gross she's disgusting i i feel like i can say that because she's no she's ugly she's ugly shit but i will say this sounds like a fun department it makes you it makes you horny regardless you're like she i mean i would watch that porno it's like that means like that means like you start thinking no i negotiate something like that i think you blow one dude and then you blow

a second guy they both find out and she's like don't tell anybody else. But if you guys want to come over and then maybe, I don't know, we can bring another guy. I think there was like five or six. There was like, yeah, at least four.

I don't know how many at once, but it sounds, I mean, I keep hearing the term that she got a train run on her. I don't know if the internet ran with that one or if the news,

if the AP was reporting she got a train run on her. If AP's saying train, that means they got fucked. She got trained. Yeah. Like a hot tub train too. You ever,

which is hot as fuck. It does feel like it's like that's a violation of what is that a violation of? I don't think I could. No it's on duty. If they were off duty it's just a marriage

problem. Right. Right. I don't think they have any I'm sure there's some some employees. It's just a pig in a pond dude. Pig in a pool.

Who gives a shit? I mean that's just some some what sergeant or be like i don't care what this fat bitch does off the clock whatever but you can't fuck my officers when they're on duty yeah now you're on my turf yeah that that to me uh you know uh like five six dudes fucking one chick not for me i mean i'll watch a porn that way what about five girls five girls on one dude that weirds me out too really not okay wait wait i'm not gonna watch a porn with five girls and one guy yeah i need some more dick in there i yeah it's too much like what do you do there's only well only so many holes the last time i was in phil it's too it's like sci-fi it's like

there's yeah there's no way you're watching like jabba the hut or some shit right a bunch of like uh you're in a fucking harrow or whatever there's a bunch of dudes violating one chick i'll watch that for sure but i will not in my real life dude if it was that if it was like either if it was footage like actual like uh like a sex tape leaked and it was like cristiano ronaldo and like seven girls i would be like i'm buying i believe this yeah yeah but just one guy regular regular dude from target seven women stand around and wait to touch the dick and pretend like they're having a good time it's like there's no way i believe when you see a gangbang and you see the dude they're all wearing masks and shit, right?

And the guy who's at the end is just sitting there like, I got to keep this thing up because I can't wait my turn. Chicks are not like, if you're seventh on the list in chicks, you're like, I'm going home. I'm not waiting around for this. I don't need this in my life. The last time I was in a hot tub with multiple women was VR. That was the VR porn I watched.

It was spectacular. Yeah. But it wasn't seven setting was no it was like three or three the setting was in a hot tub it's in a hot tub it's the only time you get real wild and get in a tub that's oh oh you mean while doing it yeah like a real tub while you're watching the tub and make it real i think everybody has said kill himself i think everybody i know has said the same thing. I've done VR porn that they had to put it down. I only did it once. It's too much. So that like,

I, Adrian was whispering in my ear and I was like, Ooh, buddy. Yes. If I don't stop now, I will lose my job and my life. Cause I'll never leave the house.

Yeah. The fact that I didn't understand how immersive it is. Like, I kind of understand. Oh wow. You can look at the oh wow you can look at the ceiling you can look at the wall when like she walks over to you and whispers like it's the whispering i was like really seals yes yes you are like in the room right now damn i didn't get

the whisper oh the whisper in the ear is like tonight yeah and then you know i might charge my headset up it really wasn't i did it i did time. And then, you know, it was the most fucking whacked out thing. My life is so jacked up because on the one side I have my kids and on the other side I do this shit. Right. It's like a fucking perverted Batman. Do different lifestyles. Right. So we had this dude.

I saw a scene or somebody else saw a scene, took a screenshot of a male porn star wearing my sneakers in his scene while he's fucking this chick. And it turns out Danny Steele, he's like a huge fan. And he came through the podcast and he brought up, he gave us oculuses, but it was like loaded up with his porn already, which is already a little bit weird. I was kind of like, okay but i bring them home my kids see these fucking things and want to play with it no and i don't really know how to navigate it yet or

whatever so i but i you know what i mean like i could just delete shit off my phone i can keep it but in oculus i was like i don't even know where to go and make sure they don't you know yeah not as bad as youtube or youtube putting their free album on every fucking iPod. Every Apple. But that's insane. Not just because... He knows you have children, right? There's a chance. Nothing happened.

You can slice fruit and play with your hands and shit. But I was like, God forbid. Imagine that. Daddy, what's this? They will find it. Eventually. They will find it. Well, eventually. They will find it. One time my brother and I were up in my mom's room to watch TV.

I think I was like six. And she, it's one of those old school TVs that had the VCR built in. Oh, yeah. But at that time I was this fucking royalty and was like, it's like this big. It's a very small TV on top of the dresser. And she just turns it on and it's this dude on,

I could sketch this scene. He's on one of those triple bend beach chairs. Yeah. You know how it has like two joints? Yeah. You can never figure out.

You look like an asshole on the beach trying to do it. Eventually I just go fucking on the overall walk. I'm sitting on a towel. Give me your blanket. I'm like. figure out if you know how to work it they last forever it's one of those machines it's like they don't build them like they used to gary that there's one in a garage right now that still works is this dude on like a slight tilt like one little one of those one peg of like an inclined bench and just getting knobbed off and there's fake palm trees in the back and she was like folding clothes and my brother and i are like whoa and she fucking it was her tv it was my dad's porn

obviously locked into the television it's in the bedroom my grandma had a black box where they got all like the illegal channel yeah yeah like you know flip spice yeah that was the channel spice and i remember it was first thing i saw was like a qvc channel type thing where they were selling sex toys and it had like this machine that had a little tongue that like waved and they're like this is a beautiful piece here it's a you know like this many inches it weighs this much it takes d batteries it's only 40 blah blah like they you know they're like sales pitching it and i'm looking at it and i was like what channel is this like that looks weird and then next thing you know why is everyone acting so normal yeah next thing you know fucking uh it was a bride like banging the best man on like their wedding

night or whatever oh like shortly after the ad. Yeah. So that was just a commercial in between. I don't know if it was a commercial. Yeah. Whatever it was. But then all of a sudden, and so my grandma used to yell from like all the way downstairs.

Yeah. Don't watch the dirty channels up there. We're like, yeah, I'm not grandma. Dude. I never found a single thing of my parents. Really?

Good for you. That's crazy. They, I swear to god they must have like if they were into that stuff at all they must have gone through it like you know when the you know what like this i mean that's not cia everybody's weird dude yeah yeah everybody's got their stuff dude i had a whole i had a stash of black porn behind the dresser in my in my uh childhood bedroom that i shared with my brother. And it was like six. Specifically black? Yeah, six fat-titted black porn mags.

You know what is hilarious? We talked about this the other day. The word ebony. Yeah. The fact that we call it ebony porn or other, like that is, it seems strangely like that should not be acceptable anymore. It's probably wrong.

There's a couple others you can't say. Yeah, but it is an erotic word ebony it's definitely sexier because it started erotic it was never like yeah you know it's never used to describe an african-american lady on the cover i don't think national geographic ever been another way like these ebony tits right it was always just big nobody's like. Nobody's like, you know, Michelle Obama's the first ebony first lady. Yeah, yeah. It's only sex. It's only sex. Yeah, yeah.

It's hot. You don't have an ebony history teacher in high school. You have a high school teacher with big fat ebony tits. You got to sexualize it. You see Iggy Azalea started her OnlyFans? So she made 400 grand grand overnight there you go which is a real quick i'm sorry kevin that's a white bad breath face iggy azalea really bad breath face like it looks like she has bad breath or looks like she's smelling bad breath like no

she looks like she has bad breath yeah because i only used only used, I used like two black hip hop stars. Yeah. Yeah. Before. So you felt racist. So now you need to add a white person. He's like, yeah,

I couldn't take one. She's got bad breath face. Okay. Go ahead. I'm sorry. She looked great to me. Dude. She,

I mean, I think everybody's ass is fake. So I'm sure that's, I mean, her waist is this big. Her ass is like this big. Also there's photos of her, like in the fucking,

like a Walmart parking lot without all that Disney makeup. And she's great. But I mean Walmart parking lot without all that Disney makeup. It's great. But I mean, I would for sure watch her ass fucking bounce around. But first, I don't think she did nudes or whatever, so that's a big problem. But she made $400,000 in 24 hours. And I know that the Bad Baby Catch Me Outside girl made a million bad breath in a day yeah when she first

started and i i just feel like if you were a hot chick and you join only fans it's kind of like when you put your podcast out or you put your special out like how many views did i get like if you can only if you only made like a hundred grand in a day yeah it's like you'd be like oh i'm a loser nobody wants to jerk off to me but you still make like six figures in a fucking day but yeah there's got to be they got to do but you still make like six figures in a fucking day but yeah there's got to be they got to do something where that's like you gotta have nudes there needs to be like you can't have an only fans yeah it's like i know what i'm signing up for yeah it should be the opposite people pay 25 for a month and then it's just like you in your bathing suit it's like

come on yeah yeah that's ridiculous if you don't show a little clitori or some some tit meat you get flagged yeah like they do an instagram or you're doing the reverse yeah yeah or it needs to be like you can only charge like five dollars a month if you're just gonna do like risque shit like yeah you can't put things on pornhub that are not porn can you you know you can we've uh answer the internet's on there a few million views i love that chick yeah yeah she's unbelievable she's she's actually i think she's hot because she's normal you know what i mean like she's not objectively her and asa akira are two people who are just like they're smart they can talk about other stuff yeah i mean in a way you sound stupid like because it's like, yeah, they're not fucking aliens, you

know? No, she's actually really cool. Yeah, yeah. No, but like, you know, like. It's not just a doorstop. Like, Abella, it's either she's got a great hustle going or she just genuinely doesn't understand. So she's in college now, Abella.

She's on the debate team. Okay? Yeah. And so I hear that and i'm thinking could you imagine you step up you're 18 years old and you step up and you have to argue why like reconstruction in america was a good thing or and she stands up and you're like yeah i've watched you put three dicks in your asshole like what you know and she's like what do you think she goes you think that's really you think that's really like going through their mind i mean yes yes of course yes how are the judges supposed to be impartial i mean you win dude i would be filing complaints

please the court your honor can i approach the bench my dick's already at the bench can't hear me she tried to do a tour and obviously like 500 dudes wanted to take a picture with her yeah and they couldn't like even walk more than two steps. And I'm sure the girls on that campus just fucked. So you probably can't talk about this either, but there's got to be somebody at Barstool that shot a shot. I mean, you guys have porn stars in there way too much. Yeah, I know. They're not that interesting.

There's like six shows that have these streetwalkers on them. I'm interested. Streetwalkers. I'm interested. I will say this. No no joke though like they are professional sex workers they are the nicest people i bet every industry we have actors singers movie whatever really they are the nicest coolest funniest and most normal like i know some of them are probably whacked out but the ones we've had are just like uh yeah like i i fuck on camera for money like yeah yeah i don't know it's like you guys are like one step above it you know you're right there you know what

i mean it's like we're getting fucked i'm just not getting paid for it uh but yeah the um uh when when abella first came in our buddy rudy she clearly took a liking to him was kind of like who are you and then she came in a second time and she she clearly took a liking to him. It was kind of like, who are you? And then she came in a second time, and she goes to him, do you remember me? I'm Abella. And he was like, do I remember? Yeah, I remember you, Abella Danger.

What are you talking about? So that's, if I had to guess, maybe that could have happened. You haven't followed up on that. I would be so interested. I don't think, I don't know anybody. So Glennie Balls is doing a show that strictly only fans girls. And he is a gentleman and never does anything.

And I think he has quite a few opportunities to do so. Those wax wings have to start melting. Yeah, dude. He's up to something. There's no way. Dude, he is. You're flying too close to the sun. He's also visually the guy that you wouldn't think would try anything.

So they're like, aw. It's definitely like that. It's like girls that see guys that look like that and shaped like that. And they're like, he's so cute. He's so nice. He's my friend. But then there's one fucking meth head that's like i want to suck him off because he's such a cute nice guy i'll at least jerk him off

yeah burt and tom were talking about it when he had a couple videos up and tom goes how is he not like fucking all these chicks because burt said i don't think he fucks him and tom's like how how is he not fucking all these chicks and burt was this close to saying, cause I think he's retarded. He was like, cause I think he's, I don't know. He's really nice. He's really professional.

Glennie. I think, you know, Glennie knows why it works. I think, I think it's very different if you're just like, I have a show with only fans chicks and I fuck them all versus like, I'm Glennie balls.

I'm the nice, funny fat guy. And I have a good time with them. So it's a little bit little bit you know odd couple and everybody kind of it works you know if you're just banging all of them it loses the allure i think dude i mean i would be like i wouldn't even want to know that i could directly communicate with those people this is too much of a like a temptation you get fucked up yeah you just text them you think you're clever or something. Yeah. It's just like. Yeah. Yeah. That's not.

Oh my God. Dude. You know what is. Do you guys know no jumper? Adam 22. Yeah. Yeah. He's just got like.

He just fucks his wife and whoever she allows them to bring in a third. Yeah. And he makes like a boatload of money. Oh, they film it. Is that like the same? Their show is called plug talk. And they just. They bring on like a porn

star they do the podcast and then they fuck in the end and it's not only fans so you watch it you can listen to a podcast if you're interested and then you watch the fuck yeah i'm like brilliant brilliant rules and it's like his wife is again a very normal people who she's like i happen to be like kinky about this shit she's not like a porn star who's you know been in the industry she just was like a regular girl who likes to do this stuff so is he in the industry before this no he was he's his pocket he does like rap podcasting so he's like huge in the rap world and now huge in the porn world and i i remember saying something like you know is it weird or like is it what's up with the stigma or whatever tell me there's a downside yeah really what is

please tell me there's a downside i'm waiting for it tell me there's a downside. Yeah, really, what is it? Please tell me there's a downside. I'm waiting for it. Please tell me there's a lot of places you can't go, people don't respect you, something. Something is... I guess it doesn't matter. One time he said, like, there are certain sponsors who won't work with us.

And I was like, yeah, I think you have to know that was coming. Speaking of Manscaped. There you go. That's a pro. If you're still using your ball trimmer on your face, listen up. Manscaped has just announced their brand new Beard Hedger Pro Kit.

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We got one more. Do you know what this plate is? No. This plate's, see that thing on the ground there? The butcher's guide? Yeah. Yeah, it's just a metal plate. It replaces putting up holes in your wall and screws and shit.

Cool. Just put up a little sticker. Stick it on. It's magnetic. Maglock. Maglock safe. Isn't that exciting? It is exciting, dude.

Yeah. And we're putting them up. Foley and Kevin Ryan are going to be in the kitchen tomorrow. Beautiful. Oh, yeah, they said that. For a little dish Kevin Ryan are going to be in the kitchen tomorrow. Beautiful. Oh, yeah. They said that. For a little dish. We're going to have to probably break this wall down.

We're probably going to have to sledgehammer one of these walls. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how they're all going to fit, dude. We got a camera guy. The landlord comes back over and just displayed over it. Just a wall and displayed. Dude. No, no.

It's fine. It's fine. Just a hole straight through where foley can just lean in you know what i mean like a fucking neighbor yeah yeah hey neighbor you know mr rogers neighborhood put him on a little train if you didn't get exactly what you wanted for christmas it's time to get this plate get your own artwork printed on one-of-a-kind metal poster that only takes 20 seconds to install they also have millions of designs available on officially licensed designs from Star Wars,

Netflix, Call of Duty, and more. Why would you want Netflix? Your poster comes with a majestic magnetic sticker so you just pop on the wall and hang your poster. Click the link in our description to see some of our favorites and get yours ready to hang a piece of art. Maybe they make a Bella Danger. You could put her up.

You could make your own. There you go. Just her butth up. You could make your own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe she'll get a little, you know. There you go. Just her butthole. Yeah. Just her butthole. I actually talked about this. Hold on, let me get this out. Save 22% if you buy one or two.

Just the butthole. And get 33% off when you buy three or more. The discount will be automatically applied to your cart when you click our link. Use code STUFFILAND when you visit Displate.com to get the discount. That you visit display.com to get the discount that's display.com.com code stuff island or click the link in our show notes just the butthole yeah so like if you're the name of the show just the butthole that's a cool yeah

it's cool that's a cool idea like buttholes right listen hear me out. I thought about this. Okay. You know how like you can get like very specific jewelry to represent your relationship with your wife or husband? I have an idea to get a pendant and a circular pendant of like Julius Caesar or some dumb shit I can't wear without laughing. Okay. If you memorialize... Julius Caesar?

Did you... Julius. I'm already lost. What are you talking about Julius Caesar? What's going on? I just said if I had like a circular pendant... You mean like a locket and you open it up

and someone's butthole's in it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's an imprint of your... It's an imprint of your girl's butthole. Like you have the... Yeah. You know how you can plaster your bird? Send it in.

They give you a dildo that looks exactly like your bird. They make that? Yeah. Yeah, flashlights do that all the time. Plaster the butthole. Yeah. Make a medallion out of it.

Oh. You're awesome. Why? Listen to me. I thought you could fuck it. No, no, no. I don't want to wear someone's asshole around my neck. That's crazy.

And you don't even know what it is. It just looks like a spiral piece of flower. Like a little hoop. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that neat? No. Like a circular pendant hanging off your chain on the beach it looks like

a flower like a little wheel or something and then someone says what is that you say it's my girl's ass my girl's asshole it's an imprint of my girl's butthole and what are you what are you getting out of that a great christmas present i got a promo code stuff island what would you possibly it's a it's an endearing listen i mean when... Listen, when you have a girl and you like her asshole, it's like having their picture in your wallet or picture in a chain. It's like, I'm going to put your face in this? But I don't want just a disembodied asshole. The asshole has got to be connected to the rest of the human in order for it to...

That's the artistry of it. It's the outskirts. It has the fucking ridges like it's sun the spokes yeah spokes 12 spoke asshole I gotta tell you I'm not seeing it I don't I don't like just a butthole

the thing about it like it's it's like I like a good asshole yeah but it's gotta have sheets around it yeah but not I not, I mean, yes. Same thing when they zoom in in porn. I don't need to see in. Of course.

I just need it to be this far away. If you were in the room doing things. But it is, I always love when chicks when chicks realize for the first time they're like wait a minute you guys are looking at our asshole the whole time it's like yeah that's the goal the goal is to like talk to you at a bar hopefully you like me enough to take off your clothes and eventually i look at your ass that is the whole end game here maybe i come along the way maybe you come along the way but it's just for me to see your asshole. Yeah. That is basically what dating is. That's why I have a job.

To make money, to take you out, to see your asshole. Yes. And while I'm back there, I'm just going to be negotiating my way in. Just getting familiar with it a little bit. Did I see you guys came along for the ride, didn't you? I still think that that painting needs a frame. I don't like the artist.

The rendering that I see in my head is almost, you know, rigid. You know, does this exist? I feel like something like always exists. I don't know. I actually might cut this out because it's such a good idea. It's such a good idea? You're going to make millions off of this? I think you can send a little plaster to take an imprint of your asshole,

and then you send it to a jeweler, 14- gold little circular pendant with odd ridges everyone's unique like a fucking fingerprint chris that's the artistry you know that's gotta be true everyone's asshole is a little different could you imagine if you like solve the crime no if you got a hemorrhoid you're out imagine someone like dusting for prints and they're like i got an asshole print here like we need to line up bend over that's what that's the reason you get caught in a crime scene you drop your asshole pendant listen they have anus casting at home this is for the edible anus where you can make chocolate that was big okay that's that's that's always big around uh valentine's day they always do a lot of let's see see, anal jewelry. Anal butt plug. Heavy anal jewelry for princess with gemstone.

That's usually just like the plug in your ass. This needs to be the asshole itself. So no one's making jewelry. I don't think they're making this yet, yeah. I think you're ahead of the game. We'll find out in the comments, but I think this is a really good idea. You know? I mean, look i there's

definitely a market for it people are obsessed with bottles they can make them for they make a mold for the chocolate you know it's the forbidden fruit it's like we're all just trying to get to your asshole god it's the best look at it to touch it to poke it to play with the pocket it's like we just want to see that yes show it to me it's because it's the one thing and then what's funny is you have a porn star first no no no hold on no i'm saying in the process you're not gonna be like oh turn around let me bet let me show i want to see your butthole first yeah that's crazy right right no there's an order to this not yet not yet when you're raising a barn that's going to be the best sex and the worst relationship you've ever been born on dude and some chicks like i want to show you something it's just a

fucking cheerio first no but what is funny is like uh one of the porn stars we've had on our show doesn't show her face but she has like the best asshole you've ever seen it's like a picture perfect porn asshole so you see her asshole all the time but and what you don't see is her face and now everybody's like we want to see your face so it's just whatever you can't get you know it's like all i want to do is see this chick's eyebrows yeah or whatever yeah yeah because that's what that's what's behind the curtain yeah but what you see all the time is the asshole but the ass the the the progression to the asshole is so remarkable in the last decade right as far as like what people want to see and like

and stuff yeah like so now it's just becomes it's it's so popular that it's normal talk in the totally guys assholes girls assholes eating ass and fucking whatever seeing your asshole whereas before you never talked about it it's no it's jumped so fast so fast it's gone like warp speed in the past like 100 years not even the past 20 years visualize that where she used to visualize like well i wonder what her tits like if you show me your tits i'm like all right all right grandma like let's get to the goods you know let's and now when i honestly i need to see a hole yeah i want a hole in your body i'll even take your goddamn mouth like you want to do weird shit with your mouth i'd rather look at that than your nipples come on what are we in

middle school here i don't care who it is if i see them walking down the street number one i envision them fucking with whoever they are and just fucking in general if i see a couple out probably i imagine the fuck naturally 100 then i imagine her naked i imagine her bow thank you i once said if i if i if I see you on the street I'm wondering what your asshole looks like and people looked at me like I was totally perverted

I was like I think you're all fucking liars I think you're all wondering what does that girl's asshole look like and you're just not willing to admit it on camera

like an idiot like I am but that's what we're doing yeah I don't think I wonder what exactly their asshole looks like but you're at least like I wish I could see her

yes yeah yeah I want to be in it I sit there and I go Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be. Yeah. I want to be. I sit there and go like, I imagine it has a spoke this way and a spoke that way.

Yeah. I'm just thinking, I want to see it. You know what's great about Chris? I don't think we've ever agreed once in our entire life. And that's why this works. We'll just take it out

for the Patreon. All right, dude. All right.