Stuff Island - Stuff Island #84- Hip-Hop Dance Classes w/ Michael Rowland

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

- Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the patch. Each week they'll talk about anything & everything under the sun. Twice a month Tommy cooks a delicious dish & twice a month they live stream VR Golf and Onward with fans. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland  - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475  - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk  - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en  - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en  - Follow Michael on IG: https://www.instagram.com/michaelrowlando_o/?hl=en  Support the show & go to liquidiv.com and use code STUFFISLAND at checkout for 20% off ANYTHING you order (https://www.liquid-iv.com/stuffisland) Support the show & head to FactorMeals.com/StuffIsland50 for 50% off your first box Support the show & head to BetterHelp.com/StuffIsland to get 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How not well was she doing? She's had a couple mental breaks. But her mother was... Specifically two? Yeah. Those two memories. I mean, I had another friend whose mom had to take her in for a while, but she comes from a pretty crazy circumstance.

But she was... Jesus Christ. Sexually very in touch with her. That's a fucking planet ape. I know. I was going to do a bit. I had a bit ready. I had a bit ready.

What am I, the presidential painter of Barack Obama over here? What am I, a damn Homer Simpson man over here? Well, those are done. Yeah, we'll start here. That's a good start. Dude, thanks for coming. Thank you for having me on. I've only seen you on the web. Yeah i've only seen you on the web yeah i've

i've seen you on the web as well yeah you look like you look like o'connor's lacrosse picture really yeah this is why yeah yeah we are o'connor's crushes are gonna go wild about this we are two two errors oh man you got ladies that are fans of the pod that tune in he's got guys too i for lacros? One guy tries to buy pictures of his armpits. For your hot looks. No, no. Well, maybe they do, but they're immediately disabused of that. Remember that guy that was trying to pay for Polaroids of your armpits?

Yeah. Is that real? Yeah. Armpits are a thing? Yeah, because every time he would stretch out hungover, the guy would just put a drooling emoji and shit. I feel like every body part is... Everyone's got a thing. I don't got a thing yeah cause every time he would stretch out hung over the guy would just like put a drooling emoji and shit I feel like every body part

is everyone's got a thing I don't got a thing I wish I had a thing I don't think I have a thing I like a nice face yeah anybody else like the face yeah

yeah I went from a face is important cause that's where you're gonna spend most of your time looking at when all the other things you like fall apart

face and personality face and personality huge eyes personality you know no matter how she's built you're gonna get tired of it most of your time looking at when all the other things you like fall apart. Face and personality. Face and personality, huge. Eyes, personality. No matter how she's built, you're going to get tired of it eventually, hopefully. I mean, hopefully not. But the eyes stay alive longer than the rest of the body. True. I feel like the story around you...

Holy shit, Chris. You died 20 years ago in those eyes, dude. Dude, I'm on two days not drinking. My eyes are fire. You are. You are glowing. I got light in my eyes.

Your titties started sagging and the light went out of my eyes. What happened, honey? Somewhere along the way. You got to keep your body straight. Keep your eyes on. Keep your eyes alive.

Dude, it's true. Then I fucking bit my lip right before this started. I went from i went from a big big ass guy to a big titty guy and i went back then i went back i just flip flop yeah well i feel like i've seen clips of the show where people compliment you on your your wife your partner yeah she's beautiful she's a beautiful person yeah and derrick before i came to the pod i was doing my research and i was like where's this guy's wife that's bad

I can tell by your reaction I should have said that I just scrolled it I was like he's smart he doesn't keep her on the gram I was like this is smart there's too many fucking weirdos there are too many fucking weirdos I really respected the move I'm one of them

they find out regardless it's only a matter of time. It doesn't matter. You just don't want to push it. It's like you don't want to put your hot kid on there either. Yeah. You don't want to put your gorgeous child. Be proud of your hot, beautiful child. Stop posting fucking prom pics because they all look delicious.

Dude, it's pretty nuts. That sounds like a you problem. You're like, stop posting your hot kids. No, dude. These 16-year-old prom pics are ridiculous. And their dads are posted. It's like, come on, buddy. Yeah.

Know what your friends are talking about right now. They're all in the Polish-American club grabbing the inside of their thighs. You think he'd be mad? Jeez, little one. If I repost this.

I'd be mad if I was jerking off for that You gotta pick three. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Which ones are they? No, they're just built different because the the poultry has steroids in it so they get thicker i you for the record i didn't go with you guys on

that bit no stick to your plant bit dude it's like stick to the stuff i brought canned okay i'm not going off book no it's true though but like they you can't dress your kids like you can't yeah don't put the beautiful people in your life out for the world to see but the creepos especially no I thought it was a good move dude. I found I should be saying this but you know People know our address and shit they go on the dark webs and fucking Some kid did like a reverse image search of Shane's apartment looked up real wide across the street Yeah, found out where we live. It'll happen.

Curate and control what you can. Don't worry about anything else. I think that's a good rule of thumb. There's that whole Google game you can play where they drop you somewhere and you have to figure out where you are. Oh, yeah. My mom's obsessed with it. She plays it all the time. She found a bunch of different versions of it.

She's obsessed. Wait, what are you talking about? It's called like Worldle? Yeah, it's something like that. Well, there's Worldle and then they made Worldle. Dude, you say that. Why? You're saying it yourself.

You'll have a fucking hand. I got to get your lacrosse. Can you note to put up O'Connor your lacrosse can you note to put it up o'connor's lacrosse i can't stop staring at him dude but this is where they put you in a certain place and you guess the country right yes and you slowly try to guess the country and then my mom showed me different versions where it's like you guess the country you can guess the city and man i wish i had more i wish I had more examples locked and loaded because she showed me literally five different versions of this type of game.

Yeah, the most fun version is the one where you like, you have a map of the earth, right? They drop you somewhere. You don't know where you are. And you have to like figure out where you are and try to drop a pin as close to where they dropped you as possible. So you pull a map out of your pocket and you go like this? No, no.

It's all on the computer. It's on the computer. You don't play like a video game. Well, it's a video game on a computer. But you're typing in like a... Don't be famous. Go get me some... Go get me some milk and put it in the microwave for like 30 seconds.

I need a nap. I need a nap. I need a nap. I need a nap. I like the idea. No, that's not what I meant. Give me a fucking second. Literally a helicopter just drops you somewhere in the continental US. And you pull out your phone and you're like, I'm here, right?

Nope. And you're not going home. No, I meant, does it play like first person gaming? No, no, no, no, it's Street View It's Google Okay, it's just you have a grainy Google Street View amount and you're just that's it. That's corny as fuck You're looking at it would be cool They dropped like a little character and you had to go through the village and shit like kill terrorists and like That's the version of the game

Tommy wants I'm lost I'm gonna kill somebody well you gotta fight the bad guys every who do I gotta kill to find out where I am

okay dude you know what I'm saying like you're in like you're in a warm you're in a warm client and like two dudes

it's always warm two dudes come by in like a fucking a moped one guy steals your girlfriend's purse you're like oh Brazil like I fucking I know immediately this is a great idea you're speaking a silly language like Two dudes come by in a fucking moped. One guy steals your girlfriend's purse. You're like, oh, Brazil.

This is a great idea. They're speaking a silly language like, that's Brazil. I sounded Italian there, but if you've heard Portuguese, they're always like, so silly. It's only visual cues

of actual neighborhoods. Yeah cool i do like this idea for a game though right where you like you just land somewhere with nothing you have to like find clothes yeah you gotta get fed weapon and then you eventually gotta like fucking yeah nobody wants to tell you where you are yeah yeah blackhawk down but they blindfold you in the plane. Push you out. All right, wait. No, Behind Enemy Lines, which was in, I forget. It was in East African country? Serbia or something. Well, Blackhawk Down, but then Behind Enemy Lines, was it Bosnia? That fucking movie is so good.

Where a bunch of people moved from because it was torn apart by a civil war. Palestine? Serbia. I'm getting us off track. Syria? Syria or Serbia. Sounds correct. Also, yes. I feel like it starts with an A. Listen, I'm embarrassed. Keep doing this for another

where Action Brons is from. Albania. They take a lot of shit in this neighborhood. What do you mean? Nobody likes the Albanians. Really? Oh, yeah. Why not?

Talk about it. Because the Albanians are in Queens. I know. That's the stronghold. No, it's like Eastern European. That's a no-no. They don't like those motherfuckers. I don't know why.

That's what I heard. Just some old school beef, huh? Yeah. Old school beef. No more questions. Because it's just what they said. They got a bad rep. Yeah. I like them. You're just saying it secondhand. I like them. No more questions because it's just what they said. They got a bad rep. Yeah.

I like them. You're just saying it second hand. I like them. I get it. That's what I think. I got an Albanian connect at this Greek restaurant that gets us in

even when it's fucking mobbed. Really? Oh yeah. Within 10 minutes. Fuck yeah. I'm not going to tell you the name of the restaurant because then they're going

to kidnap my girl. They're already plotting. You're like... Dude, I never come up to queens it's fucking it's nice here you want where do you live i live in brooklyn man so i'm always just going around brooklyn there's a totally different vibe man yeah this is real where are you this is real i'm from atlanta but brooklyn's like a little more lawless yeah a little dirtier queens is like blocking uh is his my face connor face?

No, he's fine. No, all right. I just want to make sure. But anyway, Brooklyn, dirtier, you think? Dirtier? I think Brooklyn's dirtier than Queens. What part of Brooklyn do you mean? Queens has a much more organized feeling to it. Yeah, yeah.

Brooklyn, I mean, I'm in Flatbush. I just mean, I feel like you can break the law a little more in Brooklyn. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like you can break the law a little more in Brooklyn. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like you can, this is just based on, I so quickly want to retreat from this opinion. Everybody's looking at me and I'm like, I can't even back this up. So what about black people? No, dude, there was no undertones there about race. I simply mean Queens feels more family oriented and organized.

It is. Yeah. It's like a, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a close suburb. It feels like a suburban. It feels more suburban than Brooklyn. It feels just like where I grew up or it's like you're right outside the city, but you still have a city feel. Where'd you grow up?

Uh, Delaware County, Philadelphia. Right. It's Philadelphia suburbs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 15 minutes. I grew up in a suburb of Atlanta.

Yeah. You never felt, we never felt super far. It never felt like we were lying when we're like, we're from Atlanta. Just enough. Yeah. Yeah. Just, yes. You're not in the shit, but you're accessible to it.

You're still accessible to it. You can still go do your shit up there as a young person. And also, you still get to feel like you're part of the culturally relevant pieces of your city. Yeah. Which is what you want. That's exactly what you want. Yeah, you want the identity of it. Downtown Atlanta was crazy.

What do you mean? Because downtown Atlanta kind of sucks. It's like midtown Atlanta is cool. Other pockets of Atlanta are cool. Downtown Atlanta's buildings and the Hard Rock Cafe and shit. It's not fun. Isn't that the strip club capital of the world? It is. Yeah. Buildings and like the Hard Rock Cafe and shit. It's not like, it's not fun. When I was at Georgia State. Isn't that the strip club capital of the world?

It is. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that famous place that has great wings? We talked about it a few episodes ago. Well, Magic City is always the place. Magic City. You ever had the wings?

No. You know what? You know what? All this talk of cultural relevance, never been to Magic City. That's crazy. But it feels like one of those things where you just live there. So it's like, I don't go to Magic City. I used to go to this place called Oasis,

which was sick. Do you ever go to the Bluebird Cafe for the pancakes? It's so good. You gotta get drinking again. The whole time I was in Atlanta, I never had money. I never had money to spend in places. We're talking about fat black asses. You're talking about pancakes?

It's rumba. That's what it's rumba. When I was in downtown Atlanta, I thought downtown Atlanta would be cool, so I stayed down there, but nobody's down there. Nobody's down there. That's not where any of the... You got to get amongst the trees.

Atlanta comes alive when you get amongst the trees. And I was walking back to my hotel and there was a parking lot that just had machines. And the machines would just shout into just nowhere. They would go, do not try to buy parking tickets from people. Oh yeah, because that's a big scam. Do not try to buy parking tickets from people. That was one try to buy parking tickets that was one of the

first one of the first games i learned about the weirdest thing was me and my mom were like parking go to a parade i'm little and somebody comes up to try to get her to pay for parking and she's like get the fuck out of my face i'm like mom why are you being so mean yeah she's a polite southern lady she's like no people fuck around too much around here yeah but it felt like a dystopian like wasteland where the robots are like do not trust people you can only trust the machines we can use some of those because you think of the south as a very friendly place and then you're just watching robots shout at you listen downtown atlanta is not not the you got to go to midtown if you're going to be around the city. And then just other cooler pockets.

East Atlanta Village. Go to Decatur. Go to Edgewood. How old are you? 32. Okay. So you were very young in the Atlanta Braves dominance. Oh, I was.

But it was big to my parents. My dad, my grandmother was a huge Braves fan. So, yeah, when they went to the World Series, I have no memory of it, but it was huge. They fucked Philly up for like 10 years straight. Yeah. It was bad. We were on top. What, it was like 16-time fucking conference champions?

Yeah, conference, yeah. Bobby Cox. Yeah, dude. Champer Jones, man. Champer Jones. My dad. I had such a crush on him. It's so funny.

He took me to see a Braves game, and I was never like that into sports. You had Maddox and Smoltz as your one-two. Maddox, Smoltz. Suck my butt. Glavin. Glavin. We had the three hottest pitchers, and we were fucking everybody up.

Dude, I still have a bib signed by Greg Maddox where my parents were really into it. Did you ever hear this- Like a barbecue bib? No, like a baby bib. I was little. Did you ever hear this Tony Gwynn stat? No. It's been going around on Twitter as of recent, where Tony Gwynn faced Maddox, Smoltz, and Glavin,

I think like 3,000 times. 300 times. 300 times. At bats? Yeah. 300 at bats. And then he struck them out like four times. Yeah.

The three best pitchers in the game. Yeah, yeah. Was it 300? Yeah, Tony Gwynn was the man. Yeah. But God damn, dude. I remember we went to Minnesota. I wanted to see Tony Gwynn was the man. Yeah. But goddamn, dude. I remember we went to Minnesota. I wanted to see Tony Gwynn play.

And we couldn't get tickets, so we went to the St. Paul Saints. Boys, I feel like I'm going to lose points here with you guys, but who is Tony Gwynn? Tony. I was never big into sports as a kid. He's a Hall of Famer baseball player. I'm so sorry. For the Minnesota Twins.

Minnesota Twins. Okay, word. He made the Twins something for once. Yeah. And he was, what was he doing when he was not getting

struck out? Was he jacking homers? Was he getting on base? He was making huge grabs in the outfield. More of a base hit guy, but he's also homer, but he was like

Pete Rose level of you're not going to strike me out. You're going to walk me a lot trying to strike me out, but you're not going to strike me out. Fuck yeah.

Fucking absolute stud. An ass like a mule, dude. Oh, yeah. Baseball, best ass is on a guy. A hundred percent. You will find the thickest. I don't know why I'm presenting it to you guys. It's true.

Like we're all giving a dissertation. It's true. Like we planned it. I feel like every- We rehearsed it. I'm like, as soon as I say the mule line, now you go. I was going out. I was going out.

Because I didn't play sports as a kid because I was undersized. I wasn't athletic. I was into theater and shit. Really? Yeah. But I would go out. I go to Parade Ground in Brooklyn. I live just south of Prospect Park.

Parade Grounds is where all the kids play baseball. I go out there and just watch these high schoolers on their baseball teams and just observe their like thick thick ass like these thick brawny bodies yeah and i would like mourn i would mourn my childhood in my lack of like a thick adult body and i just can't imagine what it's like to be 16 dude on a baseball team with your boys big thick ass big thick ankles big baseball ankles and you're just be you know you got the brain of a boy but the body of a man you're just learning to live in it damn dude god damn i never had it it's like the foundation of a good giant home yeah you know what yeah yeah

that's a guy that provides yeah yeah dude baseballers i think make the best family man i can't they do they. They do, man. They're so well-rounded. They are. Great personalities, good minds, great athletics. They got patience. They got timing. They're into the stats over the long term.

It's not game to game, baby. Yeah. You win some, you lose some. What are we doing overall? I can't not comment when a dude's got cheeks. Dude. I'll let them know immediately. I'm trying to get my cheeks out.

Not just friends, like fucking strangers. We were in Dallas, me, Shane, and Naeem for a show. And a couple of football dudes, a couple of his friends came to meet us to go to the JFK Museum. Uh-huh. And see where he got lopped, you know? See where he got poked on the road. Which I thought was an easy shot. All right, let's hold on for a second.

I thought it was a very makeable shot. When I was there, I thought, is that part of the museum? Is you go and you stand at the window and you're like, this is about... There's an X. There's an X. There's an X.

I knew we'd never get back to it. There's the X that the conspiracy theory people put on the road where he was shot. It's a very fun, light-hearted ass bit. I think that was an easy shot that JFK got hit by. I think it was a makeable shot. Dude,

it's very difficult. Regardless of the way his head went afterwards. I know what you're saying. I'm saying that's a makeable shot. It's because it wasn't shot from there. They're telling you it was shot from there. The gnoll, the grassy gnoll. There was like seven shooters. The grassy gnoll is 25 feet away. You're telling me someone could shoot a gun and no one would catch it?

I don't know enough about the conspiracy theories because I don't care. Oh, I went to battle with the dudes. The guy at the tour? Oh, my God. You can't do that. Not the guy at the tour. Hold on. The tour is fake news.

We all know. Oh, my Lord. No, there's conspiracy people that sit out there and sell like trinkets anyway big fat asses

at baseball games I can't go back we can't I'm just saying this dude had a fucking thumper came to meet us for the museum

and I immediately I was like holy fuck I congratulated his wife I was like this ass is unbelievable were they eating it up or were they like

this guy was funny oh yeah he loved it yeah I mean I wasn't licking my lips i just gave an old fucking hat nod you ever try to do a fun compliment to somebody and they're just not on board and you're like oh you're not a fun person you're not ready for this and you're just like what the fuck yeah oh who's reading dune sorry nobody nobody yeah okay we just opened it, broke the spine, and put it back on. And put it back.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Is that yours or Shane's? I don't know. I don't know. Bro, honestly, rips. I only say it because it's in my backpack. I've been reading it.

Yo, it's fun as shit to read. Yeah, I thought the movie was incredible. I can't read anything. Anything? I started reading this chef's book that I'm interested in. It's really great. What about, like, you ever read, like like sports biographies or something like that? No I watch them

Alright I'd get into Dune But it would take me a while to get through it Because it's too many seasons I'll read for like an hour and then I don't do it It's literally like it's more than watching The Sopranos from the beginning It's a lot

They keep going for a long time. What is it about? Did you watch the movie? Oh, I saw the movie. Never mind. Well, that was part one, and I saw it too, and I was like, maybe I'll read it, and it's shit ripped. Yeah, it's better than the movie, I imagine.

It actually is, but it was nice because I'm not a big sci-fi guy. So you see the movie, and usually I don't like seeing it because you'll get those people in your head as the characters. Yeah. But it was helpful because it's sci-fi and it's a little beyond your imagination so you see it and you're like okay i sort of got a place to start from listen we can change this no no no no i struggle with this so much because it doesn't matter like how descriptive the author is of a character like you get you meet and you get a description of a character in the first you know like 50 pages

yes it's like but if that character shows up again later, it's like, I don't know what he looks like. Who the fuck is this guy? I have no idea. There should be a table of contents in the back. Bro, sometimes? This guy looks like this. Dude, no shame.

Hit the Sparknotes. Fucking find the fucking character list. Oh, Cliff Notes? Yeah, dude. Just be like, sometimes they'll just have the description. Books are hard, man Notes? Yeah, dude. Just be like, sometimes they'll just have the description and, I don't know, books are hard, man. Books are hard. I never did Cliff Notes when I was in high school. I had to have them.

I was all over it. Me too. I can't believe they even offered them. It's genius. They shouldn't be giving these out. They should because the books they would give us were way too complicated for a child to understand. Our summer reading was like all quiet on the Western Front.

Like fucking ninth grade. I'm like, what is this? Yeah. You have no way to process it and appreciate it. No. This isn't fucking England. You're not ready for that shit. Almost everything we learned in grade school was like, you're not ready for this.

I know you're good at building blocks and colors. There's got to be a little medium ground, middle ground, where before you start getting into these novels and calculus, let's... Did you get to calculus? Oh, yeah, baby. Dude! No, I was Algebra 2 till the end. They don't do it. They just let you chill?

They were just like these fucking dolts. It was... Damn, did you go to math in a shed inside of the school? Or did you have like... Back in Georgia? No, dude, I was like... I went to a Catholic school up to eighth grade, and then I went to a public school where I should have been like,

I'm ready. I'm going to try to get into the gravity chamber, okay? Public school. And then I got there and I was like, okay. Well, numbers are hard. Public schools, they say, is better education by far. I thought it was. Dude, just compared to my siblings in terms of socializing, I think I got more out of public school.

But in terms of knowing stuff from a book, no. Yeah. Less. I remember. Public school gets a bad rap depending on what type. For sure. But our public school, it was like an art school. Yeah. Less. I remember. Public school gets a bad rap depending on what type. For sure. But our public school, it was like an art school. Yeah.

So it was all the fucking theater and like artsy design people. That's great. Our sports teams were dog shit. Yeah. That's nice. And it was, yeah, it was cool. That's nice. So I was like, our public school was straight up still doing like Cold War curriculum.

Really? Yeah. Where it's like like we're just trying to find out who might be able to build a rocket they're like that's what we're like the math was hard ever like the history the arts and stuff was just like yeah pain with your fingers but then get back to like are you good at science yeah yeah that was everything yeah it's just like it was clearly that thing where they're just there's no need for a high school to learn calculus No

But you did And I'm enormously impressed by this Pre-calc in like sophomore year What? Well it's like an AP class Were you a little math whiz? No I had advanced classes First track and then AP

You know No I feel like you were a good cheater I was a good cheater when I got to college because engineering school was fucking ridiculous so you went to engineering school well you hang around with a bunch of fucking waterheads yeah a bunch of dummies

I actually had a life well my parents were quite disappointed I didn't need to say good cheater to take anything away from you good cheaters you gotta be smart to be a good cheater my mom always used to tell me about my grandfather I didn't mean to say a good cheater would take anything away from you. Good cheaters... You got to be smart to be a good cheater. It's a skill. That's right. It was like the one story my mom always used to tell me about my grandfather

is that he would copy other people's homework, but he would fix all their mistakes. She would tell you that about your grandfather? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a smart cook. Yeah, I had a whole scheme. This dude, Evan, really... yeah i had a whole scheme yeah this dude evan really because the first the first year is meant to to we're talking about college now college yeah first year i went to drexel so the first year is meant to get rid of two-thirds of the week of yeah yeah so your curriculum is insane

it's like 21 three semesters 21 credits 19 credits and 20 credits you only get one summer off the next four years you work half the year and you go to school half the year so co-op cooperative education program but that's why it's so expensive right now it's like 45 000 a year god damn 48 maybe yeah it's crazy and you're still working half the time you're there yeah you gotta work half the year and then go to school with the other half yeah it's fucking nuts yeah that was actually kind of nice because you made a little money oh yeah i was making good money yeah i was making you work in a corporate but you're still you're still paying your tuition but you're making money against your tuition as you work yes okay yeah all right that's that's but i didn't know i still

had like 200 grand when i came out like fucking I thought my parents were like helping me out. And they're like, oh, here's what you owe. Yeah, yeah. I was like, okay. You still owe 200 grand. No, I'm done. I'm paid off. Okay, okay, okay. But when you came out, you did.

I just want to be. Okay, okay. That's what I want to be clear on. It's five year college. You go to school for one year full. And then the next four, you work and. Gotcha. Yeah.

But it does. It does. One of the things. You have to cheat to make ends meet for the first year for sure because it's like you think you're going there you're a freshman in college you're gonna party but like having that number of credits per semester is an insane amount and it's like you you you have calculus chemistry biology uh it's all high-end, science and then on top of that you're doing engineering stuff

you go from one fucked up class, you're not just taking a break and going to phonics and the gym it's fucked up class after fucked up class every day so that's why they all drop off you get a lesson from day one, some Indian dude

was like, look to your left, look to your right you're only going to see one some indian dude was like look to your left look to your right you're only going to see one of you and i was like whoa this guy fucking sucks it's that accent was so good all my engineering buddies were like i don't get anything from class i can't understand what this guy's it doesn't there's no yeah yeah some of the smartest guys i I don't get anything from class. I can't understand what this guy's saying. It doesn't. There's no. Yeah, yeah.

Some of the smartest guys I know didn't even go to class because they had their, the syllabus was online. And then at that time, I went to school in 98 to 2003. Yeah. I'm older. But, so once you can get all your shit online, they would put all the stuff that you needed to get your work done. And they just didn't, the way that the pacing of,

you sat in a giant auditorium and you would have boards. So it was like an auditorium built for like music in a way. Right? Or like speeches. Or like dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you'd take a board and put it against the chair in front of you and then open your books on this giant fucking board. And people were like, what is going on? Your teacher's like 50 yards away

yelling about shit you'll never comprehend. Yeah. So I was like, well, I'm going to latch on to some fucking dweeb that I could find. Yeah. And I'd go to the computer science room and then, you know,

I'd rip a heater with a couple of these fucking... I did the four... I did a fucking hack of dart with these fucking chumps. Yeah, I learned hacky sack for these fucking... Dude, it four... I did a fucking hack of dart with these fucking chumps. Yeah, I learned hacky sack for these fucking... Dude, dude, dude. I wish I learned hacky sack. I stopped ripping the underwear

over the head for like two weeks and I was good, baby. I never got good at hacky sack. Did you get good at hacky sack? No, man, and I wish I did just because... He wants to learn a Charleston. He can't hacky sack.

Yeah, dude. I like the idea of just being good with my feet. Yeah. You know, just having good foot reflexes. Dude, my legs don't rotate out. Really?

Yeah, like those kids who can do the big... Oh, yeah, that's like the move. Yeah, yeah. The older I get, the more I just want to have control of my limbs. And I like the idea of being able to hacky sack. This is him from the past. This is time machine Chris. Dude, if you want to take a hip hop dance class, get it.

I do. I do. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. I am so into it. I've journaled about it.

I was doing a salsa dance class for a little bit. Yeah, dude. Yes, I want to do a hip hop dance class. Dude, control of my body control of the body because I feel like I could do it you can we can

I'm so into this you have no idea I think everybody deep down has a little bit of the to really wish they took a hip hop class when it was appropriate 13 I'm going to uncover myself. I want to be free. I want to,

God damn it, dude. Yes. I want to be free to be who I want to be. Yes, we're in a flesh prison, dude. Dude, I was talking to, I was talking to, it's like, it feel like it would help me on stage too.

Every time I'm on stage, I wish I could fucking, but it's like I feel like it would help me on stage too every time I'm on stage I wish I could fucking but it's a certain confidence that you carry in your limbs it's a presence yeah but what you're not understanding Chris is that your body can only you can learn certain movements

but your body's not gonna you can adjust and you can get a little better with your fluidity but you're not gonna you can't be a professional dancer Let's just say that No matter how many hours You put in He doesn't have to be

Don't listen to this guy No no See what his face did though He goes He has no idea But it's not about Being a professional dancer It's about

Performing to the best Of your capabilities 100% And pushing Pushing your brain a little bit Pushing the boundaries To learn something new You know Yeah Get some new skills Cause that's how We're gonna stay young boys Yeah best of your capabilities. 100%. And pushing your brain a little bit. Pushing the boundaries.

Get some new skills, because that's how we're going to stay young, boys. Keep learning new skills. I'm all in. Did you ever cry yourself to sleep at night watching Singing in the Rain? Okay, I connected with you on the dance classes. Dude, that guy moving around the street? He moves incredibly.

I do know what you're talking about. You can watch some of those old vaudeville dudes, and they did just train their bodies to such an extent that, I mean, it seems silly, but you watch Charlie Chaplin and the specificity of his movement and how good it is. And, yeah, he took a hip-hop dance class. Dude, seeing him out of makeup is crazy. Him being normal.

You ever see pictures when he meets? Does he look scary? No, it's just weird. I saw that picture, too, of him meeting Einstein. Yeah, he met Einstein, but there's another one. There's a documentary that shows him at a dinner with a president or some shit. I forget. You know what I'm into now?

Did you see the quote on it, on them meeting? I forget. Chaplain goes to Einstein. Yeah, Einstein says to Chaplain, chaplain goes to Einstein. Or, yeah, Einstein says to chaplain. Or, no, chaplain. Check out the Patreon, patreon.com slash stuffisland. Patreon. Link, subscribe.

We got a bunch of look at dishes loaded, ready to go. They're going to be fucking coming up soon. We got five. So look forward to that. We're going to try to get back to playing some video games and shit, too, and doing some other stuff. Paintballing. Also, there's also an extra hour with all the guests on Stuff Island Patreon.

So if you'd like a guest, listen to that. All right, Liquid IV. All right. Proper functional hydration is essential. And Liquid IV is the number one powder hydration brand in america they've got a hydration multiplier okay that's the product you're missing in your daily routine okay i was missing it it actually this liquid iv does actually do a good job i missed that we like when we had the packets we need more my day was so much better liquid id liquid iv is send me

as my iv use it for before workout use it if you're hung Before a workout, use it. If you're hungover, get up. Yeah. Use it. It's really good. One stick, you can hydrate real life two times faster than water alone, plus essential vitamins. And three times the electrolytes is leading sports drinks. It's also not sugary, so it doesn't like...

Make you fat. It doesn't give you a little bellyache. It doesn't make you a little chunky. Yeah. Gives you the pep in the step without the meat in the bag. Yeah, I'm a Concord grape guy. Are you? Yeah, I like Concord grape. Let me tell you something, Chris.

So do I. I like watermelon. Oh, yeah, Concord grape. It's good stuff. This is not liquid, I bet. Dude, you, like, yeah, you load one of these up in a water bottle, ice cold water.

I like my water to be 33 degrees. Damn. Yeah. You're temping out your water? I like freezing cold water or just above freezing. You know how I drink ice cold water? Does it put one of those in where I feel good? I put my tongue, I roll it, and I protect my back teeth because they're very sensitive.

Oh. So I make like a little snake thing where I protect with the edges of my my tongue oh i rinse and then i go right through right through the trunk i want to free i want to i want a freezing cold blast on my teeth uh real people are making this real flavor is in it it's real hydration okay real people grab grab your liquid iv in bulk nationwide at costco handmade you go to costco and get this stuff in bulk it's from monks monks make this like they do ipas yeah did you know that um like what i view they it's wooden but troughs here's what sticks yeah it's the river sticks yeah hades yeah this is this is the stuff that they dipped hercules yes or achilles yeah yeah so you can make this like greek mythology yeah uh the thing

you can't do at costco is get 20 off when you go to liquidiv.com and also can't jerk off in costco liquidiv.com promo code stuff island at That's 20% off anything when you shop better hydration using promo code STUFFISLAND at liquidiv.com. You know what I did? What'd you do? I didn't do. I canceled all my appointments for my laser on my neck. Good.

Because you have to wait until after the summer. Yeah. My Irish gene gives me this. I don't know. Is it even working, though? Why you got to do that? What do you mean? I felt like it was working.

I thought you said it wasn't working. I did three treatments. It worked pretty well. I thought you said it wasn't working. I don't know. Well, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Stop putting everybody else's needs before your own. BetterHelp's online therapy lets you find

balance and take time to focus on what you need. I feel like it's the opposite. I feel like I've been selfish. Not taking care of me. I'm not focused on... I mean, I am focused on other people's needs, but this is right.

You should focus on yourself. You should. You got to look in. Yeah. The N-word. Solve the problem. Yeah, you got to look at the N-word. You got to look at the N-word.

Do you want to say it? Don't. You can't. Don't. You can't be saying that. Better help will be against this. It's not good. You cannot say the N-word.

You cannot say the N-word. Yeah, better help will help you not say the N-word. If you're feeling like you need to. Yeah. There's something wrong. You got to go to like you need to, there's something wrong. You gotta go to BetterHelp. There's something wrong with you. That's what got me away from saying the n word, is BetterHelp. You went and they said, what did they tell you?

Yeah, it's 17 generations of dropping the n-bomb. Stubbing your toe. I found BetterHelp, dude. It's not even in my vocabulary anymore. You never really felt the need to say it. Someone says word i'm like nitrogen you don't say nitrogen in church it's crazy yeah better help is completely online you can do therapy when and where it works for you whether it's on your couch or on the go and for chris it's both getting started is easy just

take a quick survey about your preferences, and BetterHelp will match you with a licensed therapist. No awkward doctor's visits. That's the scariest part, Chris. And there's no uncomfortable in-person conversations. If your number one therapist isn't the perfect fit, you can easily switch at any time at no extra charge. Don't be afraid to take that first step to care for yourself.

Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com.com slash stuffisland today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash stuffisland today to get 10% off your first month. H-E-L-P.com slash stuffisland. Yeah. You're getting your mind right. You're getting hydrated. Now you need some good food.

And now that it's summer, you might be looking for wholesome, convenient meals for sunny, active days. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast with flavorful and nutritious ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and stay on track reaching your goals. Too busy with summer plans to cook? You want to make sure you're eating well? With Factor, skip a trip to the grocery store and skip the chopping, prepping, and cleaning too, while still

getting the flavor and nutritional quality that you need. Factor's fresh, never frozen meals are ready in just two minutes. Two minutes? Yeah. Is heat? What do you mean two minutes? So all you have to do... Two minutes? Yeah. Is heat... What do you mean two minutes? Yeah, you like...

You reheat them. You pop them like the... I don't think so. With a knife? Throw them in the wave? It's not clear. Maybe you just like to eat your meals cold like I do. You do.

I do. He ate old fucking Chinese food. Left out for two days. I like leaving it out He just started digging in this chicken That had an orange color And I thought it was deep fried And it was just

Paste Chinese Yeah Color MSGs MSGs are good for you This is why liquid IV is important All you have to do is

Heat it up And enjoy And then go back outside And soak up the warm weather Looking for calorie conscious options this summer? Try delicious, dietitian-approved, calorie-smart meals. With round or less than 550 calories per serving. Elevate eating at home with our new upscale surf and turf and surf and surf meal options,

like roasted garlic filet mignon and shrimp and Cajun spice shrimp and salmon. Ew. So who's getting surf and surf? Okay. What kind of Greek savage is doing this? What? Surf and surf?

You're doubling up the fish? Oh, I surf and surf all the time, dude. You're big. I take a bath. In surf? Yeah. In the surf. UOG, UOD on the surf.

Yeah, I'll go shrimp, I'll go oysters, round it out with some lobster. Jesus. This June, get factor. Turn that toilet water into seawater, baby. What? Turn that toilet water into seawater. Oh, yeah, shitting in the salt water.

Nice. Yeah. That feels good. I never got into my kayak dump. It's conversation. This June, get factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle. Simply choose your meals and enjoy fresh, flavor-packed meals delivered to your door, ready in just two minutes.

No prep, no mess. Two minutes. Head to Factor. That's crazy. Two minutes. I can't open a peanut butter jar in two minutes. Head to FactorMeals.com slash Stuff Island 50. Yeah, head to FactorMeals.com slash Stuff Island 50. Yeah, head to Factormeals.com slash Stuff Island 50

and use code Stuff Island 50 to get 50% off your first box. That's code Stuff Island 50 at Factormeals.com slash Stuff Island 50 to get 50% off your first box. I mean, how do you pass a deal like that? 50%. 50% off. That's crazy. Jesus Christ.

Einstein says to Chaplin say the quote and I'll tell you who said what no I got it Einstein says to Chaplin he goes I love your work

because everyone understands you and no one's even heard you speak yeah and Chaplin goes I'm jealous of you because everyone

heard you speak doesn't understand you everyone loves you but no one understands you yeah wow heard you speak doesn't understand you everyone loves you but no one understands you yeah wow yeah you know cause he was doing

wow that is beautiful put it on the wall put it write it on the wall who knows if they even said that someone might have just wrote that

they never met each other they just fist they just fist fought each other I mean you I love stories like that it's a great scene can I get

can I have another beer yes let's go, dude. Yeah, yeah. That's what the team's on. It's good pop, right? You know what I'm into now? What? I cry myself to bed every night.

Not in bed. This is going to sound fucking strange. There's not a show on earth that makes me do this more you're gonna laugh american idol yeah what does american idol still the editing and the story driven producing is by far the greatest in all of television history yeah yeah and then you hear the angelic voices come out of these people and they're just vessels. I know it's a God-given gift or whatever. But the way they curate sound, it's just...

Yeah, the dynamic range that affects you when you see someone manipulating their voice, that's what we're feeling about the physical form that's movement dude i just pictured hell yeah i just got it right dude a picture just like a hot 24 year old latina running a class of like a hip-hop class and you two in the back terribly dancing but still crying at the same time. While they do the worm. I'll never forget. There's a documentary that was shot in 3D IMAX

called Pina. It was about this choreographer probably from Albania or Bosnia or something. I think probably Russia. First of all, it sounds Spanish. What she did, her choreography was I didn't probably rush him but first of all it sounds bad they were like they were like what she did

like her choreography was like incredible right and then they just showed like performances of the choreography and it's like mind blowing

yeah and I yeah it's frightening it's like yeah you ever watch

high level tango no blow your god damn mind yeah that's crazy there's a crew out of Russia It's like, yeah. You ever watch high-level tango? No. Blow your goddamn mind. Yeah, that's crazy. There's a crew out of Russia that's just cranking out the highest-level tango motherfuckers. Yeah, but they just get fed, like, an iced potato, and they get hit with a stick for, like, fucking...

Well, they do. They do the thing in Russia where they're, like, they see a kid that can do rocket science, and they're like, you make rockets. Yes. They see a kid that can do rocket science, they're like, you make rockets. They see a kid that can move, they're like, no, you dance. And that's just their life. That's what I imagine Russia's like. No, for sure.

I was always so jealous of that. I was always so jealous of that. That's why I'm always throwing football on the beach in Russia. Waiting for my big chance to be a quarterback. How have I not seen you on this beach before? You lead football team. Are you new on the beach? You just got shoes on your knees.

What's that, Dorf? Dorf? No, the American Idol. And there's a new season, season six. And I'm ripping through it, dude. So it still hits. American Idol still hits. Dude, it's six and I'm ripping through it so it still hits American Idol still hits it's better than ever dude

I believe it they've had all these years to like cultivate honestly I think reality TV is it's the most successful form of like network TV it like

of course it blows everything else out of the water they first got into it because it was cheaper and they these fucking but it's also

they could get their claws on bro you ever watch The Bachelor yeah dude holy shit man you ever sit down for like four hours They first got into it because it was cheaper. They could get their claws in it. It is fun. Holy shit, man. You ever sit down for four hours and watch the X-Men? This was just fun when you got in. The X-Men's incredible. I'm interested about the X-Men.

I saw a shitload of lumber and a guy just drinking whiskey straight out of a bottle. I was like, what are we doing? They're all meth heads in the Pacific Northwest that battle each other with their fucking two brain cells. God bless meth, dude. It's gorgeous. If we didn't have meth, people wouldn't be...

Out there getting our fucking tables done. Or our crabs. Yeah. Right. It's all those that the most dangerous... They say the most dangerous, like crab fishermen, Alaskan crab. Watch those shows. They're all fucking...

But that's who you want. It's like it's a high-pressure job. Like, pee at your peak. Yeah, you don't want a baseball player mind you want a fucking monkey mind out there snorting that i was uh i was talking to my buddy used to go out and lay pipe in like canada hey i've been there i've done that i laid pipe in toronto not too long these dudes these dudes go out like teams of two and drill no i put pipe and sleep in a tent for two weeks at a time. Brutal work. And then they come back, get paid a shit ton.

Yeah. And everybody throws that money at Canadian prostitutes. Magic City. And a shitload of meth. But not Magic City, bro. It's not like they're flying to Vegas. They're staying up in Canada and just running through whatever's up there.

I bet there's some babes up there. I hope for them. Christmas tree salesmen come down from Canada. Is that real? All during the holiday years and months here in New York. I thought those dudes... Yeah, they just set up like a trailer and they sleep in this one

little trailer that sells the trees they come down for like two three months they make a year's wage and they fuck back up to the mountains no shit how many of those

Christmas trees do you think they turn into lumber that then gets used for paper houses you know I don't know I don't think they're big enough for lumber

obviously I don't know you ever see the tree you gotta watch Axeman you see what they're taking down I see what they're taking down it takes like what they're taking down.

It takes like four meth heads to take down one of these pigs. I feel like Christmas tree farms in the South were a lot more wholesome. Because it was just a place that was like, we grew all these trees. You want to come cut one down for, I don't know, like 60 bucks? Okay. I try and stay away from Southern farm stories.

Oh, geez. Oh, here we go. Oh, history. I've had one beer and i'm insufferable oh these are heavy hitters though baby they are they're nice i think about that sometimes when i'm looking at like new york city high rises you know where i'm like the shit that's going on up there is as weird as the shit that's happening in the deep south or backwoods. Oh, yeah. Somebody's fucking their cousin up there, dude.

And they're just hiding. And they grew up together in a world of wealth where they are the only two people that really understand each other. Nobody can really understand the world they come from. Corporate sex is so fucking hot. So hot. And they're 1,500 feet above. Like, inter-office sex. Did you ever have a real job?

No. That's awesome. I have restaurants, sex you ever have you ever have a real job no that's awesome i have restaurants warehouses moving that was a real barista they are i meant corporate but it's not yeah i wasn't yeah i never had to wear a collared shirt that's awesome good for you thank you i worked in a lumber yard once and that was great job really i quit like three months later i worked in a zoom too. A Zoomies in the mall. Yo, Zoomies was the shit, dude. It was fun. I felt like a cool guy because I worked at the Zoomies and they hired me. There were a lot of little kids that wanted to work at the Zoomies. Yeah.

And I made it. And I was like, wow, I guess I'm the coolest kid. Yeah. Which is pretty whack. Did you intern there? You said you worked at it and then they hired you. Intern at a Zoomies. Where they're like, you come on, you do a good job. You can't fault the shirts. We like you, then they hire you. Intern at a Zoomies. Where they're like, you come on, you do a good job.

You can't fault the shirts. We like you, we'll keep you. It says here on your resume you've been at Rita's Water Ice for only a month before this. You're only gonna intern

here at Zoomies. I wish I worked at Spencer's Kiss, man. That shit was the... You want to be Spencer's guy? Yeah, I would've loved to be Spencer's.

Like hip-hop dancing? I wish I took one summer and worked at Spencer's guy? Yeah I would have Loved to be a Spencer's Like hip hop dancing I wish I took one summer And worked at Spencer's Yeah Like 10, 11 What are you imagining Happening? Yeah

I don't know dude It's just a fun house for the mind It is They really go They go ham They go ham But in the 90s dude That was like

They had messaging Now you can go to any boardwalk In fucking South Jersey They got like Toddler outfits It's like my mom's an ass eater What is going on The water is diluted

It was a time where all that Filth was confined to one store And it was called Spencer's Gifts Like so my childhood you had to go behind A red velvet curtain at fucking A local video store. Yeah.

It was like even before Blockbuster. I remember the curtain, yeah. There was a, next to the Wawa up the street, there was a small Wawa in the bookstore. That's where I would get my Faces of Death videos, the VHSs. What? What is Faces of Death? Oh, baby. What is that?

It was gore videos. It was gore videos. Yeah. What do you mean? Like, oh, like people. Murders. Snuff shit. Snuff, yeah. Oh, fuck wasn't i wasn't that it wasn't that okay like a parachute has fallen to an alligator pit shit like that dude's getting hit by trains yeah good stuff very very wholesome very wholesome you're not too close to the gore yeah you're not it's not a camera trained on a

guy strapped to a chair yeah while another guy holding the camera like the fbi guy's not coming in checking the list of who rented it yeah you're fine but yeah i tried to find videos of crocodiles ripping people apart the other day and i didn't have much luck yeah because they it's well nowadays they probably have some but it only happens in places where they don't have cameras yeah yeah i was just taking it out I was like yeah where does that happen yeah it's like

that's why you don't see Bengal tiger attacks because Indians aren't just constantly like don't you think there's somewhere that's rich like there's a rich enough guy

who's having like crocodiles fight bears totally now that's what I would do with my billionaire money that's what the Coliseum used to be all about regular people in Rome got to see that yeah they'd be like what happened everybody talks about it now yeah it's like oh 20 guys for 10 gorillas what happened

there used to be a time where they could be like fucking let's see what the fuck happens yeah we'll find this out sunday how about that dude. Be there. But they didn't know how to take care of the gorillas. That's true. They didn't have Kodiak bears. They were missing all of North and South America's wildlife. Oh, I got to show you something you might appreciate. Yeah. There's this guy, John Danaher.

He's a Brazilian jiu-jitsu coach, but he's also a fucking nerd. He's a huge fighting nerd. And I'll send you these clips where he breaks down different animals verse each other and what he thinks would win based on uh just an egregious amount of analysis yeah it's fucking crazy but he does think that a kodiak bear would beat a lion if they had a big enough space to wander around in because the lion has explosive power but will tire out quickly whereas the kodiak bear can run something down for miles and miles crazy and would eventually kill the lion but if it's a confined space lion wins yeah there's something

called a snub-nosed bear i have a book that talks about this in like yeah prehistoric times yeah yeah we're going to the National History Museum tomorrow. They probably have a snub in there, but they're fucking massive bears. It's basically a prehistoric bear. Oh, shit. But they were so vicious, they would just wipe out entire communities.

Are you serious? Yeah. And the way they caught them, they would have to build giant pits and have the bear chase them into the pit and fall into like spikes. God damn. Yeah. Otherwise, he'd wipe out the entire encampment.

Dude. We didn't even, even when we got here with weapons, we didn't, we couldn't kill Kodiak bears. Yeah. Shoot them. They just keep coming. Well, they're skulls like. Yeah. Yeah.

They're bulletproof. Yeah. I don't even know how, and I don't know how. You said skulls. You're skulls. Yeah, yeah. They're bulletproof. Yeah. I don't even know how, and I don't know how. You said skulls. You go skulls. Skulls. Wait, what is it? What was that?

Caveman on SNL? The Caveman? What was that? You guys are too young. I remember the Caveman from the Progressive commercials. No, it was Who's the guy that got killed By his wife

Oh Grizzly Man That's right Oh I'm Troy McClure You may remember me From such a Oh yeah yeah Har

I thought you were talking about Come on Hartman No it's Phil Hartman Phil Hartman Phil Hartman Woo

He did this caveman character On SNL in the 90s It was great Yeah I'll run it back Good thing we got it. He was so fucking funny. You ever seen News Radio?

No, 100%. No, I never was. I never saw News Radio. News Radio was so good. Rogan was in it, actually. Yeah. No shit. Yeah, but Phil Hartman is so fucking funny on that show.

He's great. Phil Hartman was a beast. He was great. He was a... His bitch wife comes down. My favorite was Jingle All the Way, where he's just the creepy neighbor trying to fuck Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife the whole time. Just egregious trying to fuck his wife.

It's nuts. You watch it back and you're like, fuck. The cast is awesome. It's him and Sinbad and fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger. Fucking one of the Belushi brothers shows up at some point as a piece of shit. Yeah, the one that's alive. Oh, man, that's got some heat in it. Jingle All the Way. Oh, wait, that's the one that's alive And Oh Man that's got some That's got some heat in it

Jingle all the way Oh wait That's the one where they Do they fight over Tickle me Elmo It's a turbo man doll Oh okay Oh I have a whole

Whole pack of these for you Oh I got a big You trying to offload them Yeah Well it's Lucy not Zinn That's okay Yeah

I'll take whatever No offense I'm just trying not to do Not to do the vapes Do you have Yeah I'm gonna stop I've been saying this for a while This is I don not to do the vapes. Yeah, I'm going to stop. I've been saying this for a while. I don't even like the nicotine, so I wouldn't care for these.

This is a better one. That is true. I feel like half the time I do nicotine, it just makes me feel worse. I was doing six milligrams of the Zins. Every time I did it, I was like, well, I feel terrible now. Yeah, is it too elevated? Now I do threes, and it's... Sorry?

It's too elevated. Yeah, it's just like it gets you up, so I just like i'm just sick kind of yeah it's not you're trying to do an act out on stage and you start shaking because you did too much nicotine yeah i've had that where i've gotten on stage i didn't eat enough i did some nicotine and i'm like holding the mic like this and i just look like i'm terrified or drunk so nobody laughs they're just like is he yeah yeah you're just like, is he? I'm not scared. I don't know what you guys... You're doing a bad Bernie Mac show. I'm not scared of you, motherfuckers. It's a theater Bernie Mac.

I just had hip hop class earlier. My limbs are tired. I'm dehydrated. That's all this is. I've been doing the Charleston all day. I'm not scared of I'm dehydrated. That's all this is. Yeah, I've been doing the Charleston all day. I'm not scared of you sons of guns. Anyway, I'm dead serious. Check out fucking American Idol.

Let me know. If your tear ducts don't start going, dude, there's something wrong with you. Way to fucking bring it back. That's great. That's a sign of intelligence. If you can actually get the conversation back to where it was. American Idol was the furthest thing from how fucking...

I forgot that's even how we fucking got here. I will watch it because I remember watching it as a kid and loving it. Especially the first few weeks where they just go through the trash. That's all I watch. And sometimes a little trash through. Just be like, what happens here?

And that's the best. It is the first couple weeks because it's all the first auditions in each city. And you get to see the talent levels in the middle of nowhere. This one woman I watched last night that made me cry was from a town of 300 people. And they were like, 1,000?

And he's like, no, no, it's 300 of us. So everybody knows each other. There's one stoplight. There's one market. There's all that kind of shit everybody knows each other there's one stoplight there's one market there's all that kind of shit where you read in a novel and be like enough of this shit like i'm so tired of hearing this we're watching it in the movie like we get it you're fucking poor your dad's dumb as shit yeah yeah yeah but she comes in and just like tells her story and it's not like the food network where everybody has to have cancer

it's like you know how like food shows do that how small does a town have to be before you're just hiding as a group and she's hot i come from a town of four people no you're on the run you're on oh you mean pedophile island no there's and she just fucking. You're on the run from society. She opens her mouth and then it's just, it's not just good talent.

It's like her voice is different. You know what I mean? It's got a quality to it that's bigger than just being good. There's something about it that's unique. Yeah, and some of these people are like 16, 18 years old and they have like a pain and a raspiness in their voice. It's like you can't teach that. And even if they didn't have a fucked up upbringing,

they sing like a fucking blues artist from the 40s and 50s. That's like what made Amy Winehouse so good. She just had a quality to her voice where it was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. It was just genuine. And Adele too. Oh, yeah. Adele, dude, when Adele drops, the fuck is this yeah yeah yeah it was it was just genuine and adele too oh yeah adele dude when adele drops my dad sings he was like a church singer really tough southern dude but he likes

singing yeah um my brother's a singer but they never like the same stuff my older brother and then adele dropped and my brother was like check this out first album 17 and we're all listening to it In the car And everybody's on the same page We're like This lady Fucking ripped This lady's a fucking talent

Yeah It was Yeah Speaking of fucking Dance And singing I'll match these two Right here dude

It is This is what split Timberlake And Britney Spears She fucked her dance Her choreographer. Oh, yeah. Was that Kevin Federline?

Yes. No, she ended up marrying him, but she fucked the dance coordinator of her choreographer. Oh, really? Her dance choreographer was like their mutual friend. Oh, shit. She slept with him. Yeah.

Man. So don't get too deep in your classes is what I'm saying. Stay in your fucking lane. Stay in the back corner. Be fucking old weirdos. Timberlake's got to be sitting there going like, whoo. Now he is. Thank God.

Can you imagine? Dodged a bullet there. Oh, dude, he's with Jessica Biel. Biel, yeah, she's so hot. I mean, just one of the most incredibly gorgeous women ever came out of the seventh heaven universe. Don't forget that. Yeah, yeah.

Seventh heaven. You know forget that Yeah yeah Seventh heaven You know what I love About you dude You haven't dropped Your glass Like an old man On a lawn And it's so fantastic

He hasn't put down His glass once It's the second beer No you put it down When it was empty You swing this thing Around like Like a dab

Of the coffee In the front seat Of a fucking Not dropping Y'all make me feel Comfortable You know it's amazing, dude. It's some fucking talent. My dad used to

have a full cup of boiling coffee with no lid in his tire foam cup, driving a Chrysler Baron. And he would foresee a bump from like 50 fucking yards. And he would already raise it before the body went up. Yeah! It was like shocks on an F-150

that were shot. See, that's body awareness. 100%. That's Amanda shit It was like shocks On an F-150 That were shot See dude That's body awareness 100% That's the man That does his body I love that Have you ever seen that video Where they put the beer

On the end of the barrel Of a tank Yeah Wait So your dad's a dude I saw the picture on IG He's like at a home He's at home plate

This is my pop right here Holding the fucking Baseball glove No So that we know what I did. I used to fuck. This is my father. God damn.

Is he wearing a do-rag? I won't. He's wearing pantyhose. But that picture was me on the set. That dude fucks. That's crazy. That's the craziest thing I've ever seen. That picture was me on the set of Delco Proper.

Because we ran a baseball. It's a show we did. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I used the old filter. Oh! And I was like, oh, my God. I got to send this to my whole family. It's just my dad.

Yeah. But he looks just like that, yeah. That's good. You can tell he's sinewy till the end. Yeah. He's got a thin sinewiness. That's the goal. Yeah.

My dad's a fucking fatty. That's the external factor of life. That ain't us. That ain't us, pal. I'm going to be a short little fatty, dude. I'm fighting it so hard. I mean, I can't pal I'm gonna be a short little fatty dude I'm fighting it so hard I mean I can't believe I'm having a second beer I'm wrecking

no dude you got a machine going you don't know bro you have to fight your facts I have to fight the genetics yeah our one thing we got going for us is we got a certain built little short strengthness like a sherpa sherpa body that's what I like to call it you can carry a load we got going for us is we got a certain built little short strengthness like a Sherpa. Yeah.

Sherpa body. Yes. That's what I like to call it. You can carry a load. Can you though? Because sometimes I feel like I'm like, I've got the human version. I'm like a blowfish.

You know what I mean? Where it's just like, I can't really hurt anything, but I look like a problem. You know what I mean? That's all you're worth. Preppers are like, ah, I'm not touching you know you don't

worry about the work or breaking a fucking knuckle you feel that all the trade I'm on the trend and I'm like don't fucking blowfish dude like you might kick my ass I'm gonna make it super hard for you right now. I'll make it so hard for you right now. That's funny. I'm a little spiky. Also, Chris, you got to walk like you took a hip injury in a war years ago. That's the walk of an athlete.

You got to see combat. You do, and you got the eyes of like, you will drown a child. You have no fear. A lot of athletes walk like they hurt their hip long ago. Yeah. Well, eventually they do. Dude, I love watching basketball players walk when they're not in the middle of a game. You'll never see somebody walk slower and with more just tilt to their body like everything hurts.

Yeah. It's like, dude. They just walk slow and gentle. It's like drugging a giraffe. Their limbs are so fucking long. They don't balance themselves. They're putting so much pressure on themselves during a game. When they're not in a game,

they've trained themselves to be like, let's move very slowly. They make it look cool, but it's like, yeah, protect yourself. I remember my dad used to when he walks he fucking flies that's good i love this like well that's that's a marker of conversation going with him you can't good breath it's speed walking that is a marker of longevity the faster you walk naturally that is me your dad's gonna live a long time i'll tell you that

i like this i hope i'm right, you've got three years left. I've got to leave popcorn behind myself just for Chris to catch up to me. The tortoise wins that race. I don't even remember. You're the Kodiak. You're the Kodiak when you've got to walk the seat down.

I'm lying in my way there. You're like, I'll be there. When I get there, I'm going to fuck you there You're like I'll be there When I get there I'm gonna fuck you up He burst in there I'm already looking at plantains Yeah brother You're fucking Jason-ing

The whole thing You're Michael Myers in it Dude there's a video Of Chris Stapleton I'm a huge fan of Chris Stapleton You know who he is Country singer Yeah

There's a video of him And Timberlake doing a duet Cause Timberlake's from Nashville I believe right Is he And he's a big country Tennessee guy Tennessee rather yeah

I mean Tennessee If I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess Memphis But it might be Nashville Yeah probably outside Yeah You understand

It's always outside I'm winking at you But I actually I've been to Memphis Seems like it's fun Oh No Memphis Memphis is Memphis is rough dog There's seems like it's fun. Memphis is rough, dog.

There's one block that's fun. Memphis is fucking tough. It's tough. There's a huge connection between Memphis and Chicago right now's hip-hop scene. Now this is a veiled racial discussion. Memphis is a cool-ass city. They're producing some of the

best hip-hop. Just straight, grimy hip-hop like just straight dude yeah grimy hip-hop that's true street shit dude you go to memphis it's like deep it's deep yeah it's push iced y'all fucking push iced yeah for sure oh there's uh who's push iced he's a rapper out of memphis and he is he is a criminal but he he has a quality to his voice that is special the way he flows and everything Is fucking Is fucking cool man Did you ever hear that fucking song?

The greatest Prison voice I've ever heard Is this dude Who became famous Because of a prison rap he did Where he's just banging on On the Like a heating vent

I don't know He's doing a Can I look it up real quick? Yeah Let's continue Sure sure sure Wait but what were we We were talking about

We were talking about Timber Oh Timberlake So yeah Tim, we were talking about Timberlake. Oh, Timberlake. So, yeah, Timberlake is Memphis. Timberlake is Memphis. Yeah, look up Timberlake. I keep thinking we're talking about Timberlake. Stapleton, because Timberlake has a very country music.

Oh, I turned my phone off. Good. I'll set it to focus. Yeah. He grew up on country music, so he has this country twang. Do you like country music? Do you folk?

Bluegrass? I didn't like it for a long time because i grew up in atlanta so i mostly like hip-hop and classic rock but i've been getting really into certain aspects of country in the past four years like waylon jennings i got it yes waylon jennings is my fucking guy he has so many good songs that i love and then sort of going down that rabbit hole of stuff. Check out some Chris Staple's Steel Drivers too. Very good.

Oh yeah. I like this No I do I like this Dude this dude That was coming dangerously close To that last time you showed That girl The girl singing

at a school. That song, I Stand By. That song also made me cry. Was this? This girl in an African village. Maybe I just have some kind of issue. I might know what you're talking about.

That's racist. That's racist. It's their language, Chris. Tomorrow I might fall down on my face. So I thank you for sunshine. Thank you for rain. That's not the song. That's not the song.

That shit is. Oh my God, dude. You're memorable. No, I sent the second one. Okay. Because that one rips. That one rips. That one is incredible.

That's not a girl in that one. All right. Yeah, fuck you, you dude I'm sorry I'm just saying it's great I just want to be on the right side that one is so good

it's so good I also found I'll send you a song on Spotify this is great somebody links up a beat to it and it's just

a beautiful song I saw that yeah it's great two DJs it's really really good wait till you see this dude and you're wrong.

Look at this. Look. This is so cute. She's so good. Getting the boys going. All right, hold on. Here it is. Is it ad?

Brought to you by Zinn. Yeah. I'm going to throw another one of these bad boys in. Yeah, it's so crazy. Yo, man, it was pooping. Come on. Hold on. Hold on.

All right, watch this. Tell me this is nothing. Woo! If you're waiting for a good hook. No, man. I don't need it. It ain't coming. You can't appreciate what that is. No, he can't. He's racist.

That's bullshit, dude. You're so racist, dude. No, man. That's nice. Imagine if you saw that just at the Hollywood Bowl. You'd be like, it's sick. You ever cried at a concert? Oh

At a concert? Yeah No I've cried to people singing You know I haven't been to a lot of concerts If you go to smaller concerts I went to Ray LaMontagne before he blew up Ooh

I couldn't What's Ray LaMontagne's big song? God I gotta turn this on Oh he's got Cause I like some Ray LaMontagne The one that AT&T took which sucked Wait but Wait I like some Ray LaMontagne. The one that AT&T took, which sucked. Wait, but... How old is Ray LaMontagne?

He's probably... I'm gonna guess 48, 50. Does he do a cover of... Dude, okay, I gotta look this up. Because there's a couple songs by Ray LaMontagne that I have. Jolene is very good. It's not a cover of Jolene. I don't know that song.

I'm gonna go to my spotify whenever this is trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble i know that oh it's 49. i almost nailed it i said yeah i feel like he does a cover of like i get high with a little help from my friends or something let me okay okay that's joeer, right? That is Joe Cocker for sure. Well, there's Dave Rollins. God, that's great. That voice. God damn, that voice. Anyway, Ray LaMontagne, I saw him in Philly. Bless you. Whoa, baby. Let's go. It is that season.

Yeah. So you saw him in Philly. Yeah, it's just a spotlight on a fucking stool. Those are the best concerts. Dude, and he is just a cute acoustic. I don't even know if his... I don't even think if his I don't even think it was plugged in a true acoustic

yeah I sound stupid I don't know a lot about music but this is so sweet dude and he's just going through

like his hits and I couldn't I couldn't grasp like the talent and like just the voice and the echoes alone it's like you know

the we talked about the acoustics of church and they're meant to the the ambience really enhance the voice and i i was like that's the greatest talent i've ever seen in my life and i i i can't get a hold of my emotions i couldn't i couldn't get over for like a week no shit and apparently he was like a homeless dude who learned the guitar on the streets and just started singing and someone was like yo you you're good i'd like to know i'd like to see an acoustic set i think that's really it's probably a fairy american idol version yeah yeah he's probably from like a

you know a fucking wealthy village in atlanta i'd like to see an acoustic set from that dude who goes like take me to church he's great's great. Hozier. Hozier kills it. I saw some clip of him just singing like Irish folk music. In New York. Ray LaMontagne does, okay, two songs that are great that I know of.

Oh Hi. Guess I'm never gonna get back to Oh Hi. That's a great song. But then he does a cover of You Are The Best Thing. That's one of my favorites. Yes. He's a fucking beast.

And my brother, my brother who's a musician and a singer, he fucking hiked the Appalachian Trail when I was like starting high school. He's four years older than me. He graduated high school. My brother. Did he go north to south or south to north?

He went south to north because we were in Georgia, so we just drove him up to the beginning. And he hiked up to Maine. But then he came back and he had bought this little guitar and the first thing he did was play you are the best thing like he got back in the house and he played us you are the best thing and i was like my brother's so fucking cool dude that role this song fucking rules is he is he doing it full time no he lives in ashville he dude he's a fucking great songwriter and a great singer he does it sometimes and then the rest of the time, he just lives his life.

You know what I mean? Yeah. But he didn't make it his main thing. But I think he's super talented. That's incredible. Yeah. Again, that's the point. There's so many talented people.

Totally. That you're like, I can't do this. Well, there's this whole mix of things you need to get to the height of it. It's like, you can be talented, but you also got to be you got to be kind of a fucking dog man you got to be you got to be really well they pretty they lay it out for you in american idol they're pretty honest so like you know they're like you have the voice but you don't have the it factor essentially what they say in different words you have the it you got the look you got the voice you just need a little coaching Hip hop dance class

Exactly And you know what, you don't think Justin Bieber did some hip hop dance class Look where he is now Usher took him under his wing Who also went to my high school That's right, Usher went to North Spring Yeah, it was an art school in Atlanta I dropped that whenever I could

Scooter Braun went to my high school Really? But then he moved down to Atlanta and he made his bones as a promoter He did I dropped that whenever I could. Scooter Braun went to my high school. Really? Yeah. But then he moved down to Atlanta and he made his bones as a promoter. He did. Dude, the only guy that went to high school at Bonsignor Bono's, Peretti, what's his name? There's a famous Penn State. The comedian Chelsea Peretti?

Mario Andretti? No, some Italian that went to Penn State won the Heisman. Oh, really? Yeah. And we never heard about him. There's a big plaque of him like when you walked in that's hilarious were they a bit was it a big sports school no we had all the sports but no they sucked actually this year they're great they're we have a prospect coming out uh monsignor bonner baseball he's a fucking whore let's go yeah wait whore is good yeah it's great that's what you call a great baseball player. Oh, yeah. Whore?

Fucking whore. Yeah, because he's hitting everyone. Oh. Oh, dude. I'm working. That's kind of fucking sick. I shot you. I can wick in a gun. Yeah, dude.

Dude. I can do tons of things you don't know how to do. I love your Philly shit. I'm telling you, wait till I start dancing. Y'all do real Philly shit. Bro, I've never been to Philadelphia. What? I don't know.

Let's go. I don't know let's go i don't know i'll go with you dude i like you i want to go but i like you guys too and i like everybody i meet from philly i like everybody i meet from philly we're the best i'm like how have i not been to this fucking city you would love the womb of fucking greatness i mean it's just all the comedians i know that come out of philly are funny and they're good at being mean at the right time. They're good at being mean in a fun way. Yeah. A lot of people try and it's not natural.

It's not natural for me to be mean. And I've like tried to learn to keep up. But it's like, man, everybody from Philly knows how to do it just right. I talked about this so many times. You're probably tired of hearing it personally. I'm never tired. I'm never going're probably tired of hearing it personally. I'm never tired of hearing it. I'm never going to be tired of you telling me. Thanks, baby.

Like that whole bully mentality and like being mean for the sake of being mean to be trying to be funny around your friends like at sixth grade. There's like a scene in comedy that still tries to do that because I grew up on like fucking radio. You know what I mean? Like Opie and Anthony. Yeah, yeah. Of course. You know, Voss and all those guys like making fun of each other, which is cool. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like Opie and Anthony, that crew. Of course.

You know, Voss and all those guys like making fun of each other, which is cool. You fucking stink. Yeah, yeah. You stink. Yeah.

And then there's like another, like the younger generation are like trying to do that, but it's like, it never comes off right. It's forced. And it's like, what are you doing?

And all my friends are the sweetest guys that can do it, but it's like, there's no purpose here other than inclusion and having a good time. If you get something, you're going to deserve it. It's not like coming out of nowhere other than inclusion and having a good time if you get

something you're gonna deserve it it's not like coming out of nowhere look at this guy's fucking shoes well where are you from idiot it's like what are you doing yeah yeah i just showed up and i didn't take a bite of my pizza i tried to be this guy dude i didn't listen to opie and anthony till i was like 24 you had like an eighth grade birthday party i didn't get a bite of my pizza you fuck yeah like brothers do that which i get It's like look at this guy's fucking shirt You're like shut up fuck face Where's mom I got her a gift Dude but that's real there's a way to do it

Where it feels natural And a way to do it where it's just like what are we Shut up what are we doing You're making an ass out of yourself. And you can't recover from that. Because even if somebody does that, I remember when they do it to somebody else and I just go, man, you're sad and pathetic. The most powerful thing to do is embrace your emotion,

embrace your availability towards another fucking person. I think that's so powerful. And in the back of your fucking pants, you got a blade or a fucking gun to come at them with because you're going to give them a hug first I want you in my heart I want to be your boy

but the minute you slip I'll fucking kill you I love that that's what I love we got two beer Tommy here no but that's like the mentality I have about life it's like look man I'm going to give you every opportunity to sit on this couch for the rest of my life. And you even let somebody make a slip.

A couple slips. You get a couple slips. But if they keep doing it, it's like, I'm never going to stop thinking about how much I want to hurt you. Yeah. It sounds like what you're saying is. You're my son. You keep hitting the dog. It's the fourth time now.

Now the dog's my son. Yeah. And now you sleep in the yard. Fuck you. That's real. It sounds like what you're saying is always use the knife, never use the gun. I don't know.

I like to quietly train. I like that. None of this range shit. None of this range warfare. Pull him in tight. I like the idea of smacking somebody in the face and looking at them and going, what do you want to do?

You smack them and go, what now? What happens now? What do you want to do? There's nothing better. And you're just asking about lunch? Dude, I've been watching Nate Diaz fights. I guess I'll get the chicken parm. And it's like, I knew you were a fucking bitch. I knew it.

So don't come at me like you're fucking tough Don't come at me like you're a fucking tough guy You come for the king You better not miss That's right Nobody's true though You want to tell that dog story Chris? I just looked at Artie and I forgot

It's so fucking funny dude Dude we Do you remember this last week Tommy and I were supposed to go to Barstool and we were like

walking to the train and they called us and they were like oh fuck dude we like we fucked up our scheduling like we can't do it today so obviously it's

at past noon Tommy and I are like we're gonna have a few drinks right we we go thinking of which are we going for three god damn right baby we're gonna have a few drinks right we go are we going for three

god damn right baby we're going for three yeah yeah yeah um it's just like getting invited to Johnny Carson's couch

we're doing three if we if I say we're gonna go get another you wanna know how hard I killed I got the third beer

I got the I got the three that's me going I like this guy come on over here come on you're very talented kid come guy Come on over here You're a very talented kid Come on Come on over here

To my local bar Dude Oh yeah Do you want No Oh yeah Yeah What we're doing three

The fuck No I meant it We're gonna go out But yeah Oh But yeah Oh afterwards Is there any left

I'll take a butt We can split this also I'll take a butt head It might be better If we split it Take half I'll take a butt. We can split this also. I'll take a butthead. It might be better if we split it. Take half. I'll drink the other half. So we have a few beers.

We're walking to the other bar that doesn't open because we were drinking too early. It doesn't open until later. And we're on our way there, and this cute little dog comes running at us. It's like a cocker spaniel or something like that. I don't know what the hell it was. I don't know dogs. But it was running at us it's like a cocker spaniel or something like that i don't know what the hell it was i don't know dogs but it was running at us and it's very nice and we were like oh we petted a little bit and then it started cruising on it looked like it was like this lady

walking in front of us as dog and then we were like was that dog just like loose we like look behind us and they stop at another couple and we're like oh no but in between these couples like 20 30 feet yeah yeah i was like oh it's that couple's dog but then it just sniffs them for a second and then just goes straight one more thing like a busy inner like beyond the dog is uh a mexican guy with knee pads on uh-huh and he's clearly working he's doing he's doing yeah he's doing stuff after we see across the street we turned around And saw a Mexican dude In knee pads going That's my No he said

That's my dog That's my dog And then after We paddled He went over to the people Up front of this coffee shop And then Like he said

The dog just Well I took a half Off after the dog Yeah Once you think Somebody's responsible for you You're like I don't want to see

What happens next Because you think The dog's going to get Hit by a car Dude that's You're just like We got to get out of here We. Dude, that's when he fucking... We got to get out of here.

We can't be emotionally responsible for this at all. No, I went into the breach. Yeah, Chris did. I started running across the street. Well, once he crossed the street... I think that's admirable.

I cannot let this dog die on our watch. That's admirable. When you see a small dog... Had a few beers in there. We got to save this dog, dude. When you see a small dog, like there's a couple

around this neighborhood that are unleashed that will go a full block behind the dad. There's this guy that smokes a cigar, and there's this little fat piece of shit. You know, right? The dog's actually built the end of the butt of a cigar.

And this fat piece of shit smells of trash. He's a full fucking block behind the pop. But the dog finds its way because the dad will stop every now and then at a pizza shop, and the dog will finally get him so there are dogs like that so when i'm watching this dog fucking fishtail through all these couples i'm like oh he's he's gonna get to its neighbor yeah gets to the corner blindly cross the street to the right yeah and then we're like oh no and then he crossed his other way and we're like oh shit chris starts fucking hauling in yeah so i'm gonna after all two crosses

and you're like, this got far. Yeah, this dog doesn't have an owner. Yeah, we gotta stop this. Dog's got no awareness. We gotta save the dog.

But now he's, radar's not picking him up, dude. I'm like, he's off the grid and every block I get, every block I get to, some dude's going like,

you lose a dog? Yeah. Went that way. So we're just, just hoofing it and then eventually I get to, some dude's going like, you lose a dog? Yeah. Went that way. So we're just hoofing it. And then eventually I get to a corner where he goes, dog went into the park. And I'm like, all right. So I'm running to the park. And then all of a sudden, fucking Artie's standing in the park.

He goes, Artie's playing basketball. He's like, O'Connor? I'm like, yeah, you see a dog? And he knows we don't have a dog. So he's like, what the fuck is happening? I don't know. I run into this park, and I'm't have a dog. So he's like, what the fuck is happening? I don't know. I run into this park and I'm scanning for the dog. I don't see the dog anywhere.

And then all of a sudden I hear Tommy, who is like probably 50 feet behind me, 50 yards behind me. He goes, Chris, I found a dog. And I turn around and I see him standing there and there's no dog. And then there's just a lady standing next to him holding a dog and he goes it's right here and he just tries to grab the dog out of the lady's hands and she goes ah this is my dog what the fuck hold on and then i like approach and i'm like i'm still like i'm i'm i'm losing my mind well then we see the mexican guy finally catches up and she goes this is my dog and I'm like, I'm still like, I'm losing my mind. Well, then we see the Mexican guy finally catches up.

And she goes, this is my dog. And she's like, I'm having work done at my house. He's like, yes, I was following the dog. And she's going, well, what happened? Did you leave the door open? And then I started talking to the other moms. Because it was a mom meeting, watching these little fucking idiots run around. But I grabbed, I went to grab the dog and I like,

I had the palm. You got titty meat. I got tit meat trying to get the dog out. Cause I thought she just picked it up. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. And I approached,

well, I was the back end. I immediately turned around. No, no, I went like this. No, no, no,

it wasn't weird. It wasn't weird, but I was like, that's the dog we were chasing. It's clearly not your dog. She's like, it's my dog. So it's,

it's clearly a path this dog takes to get to the park. The guy that was working on the house left the door open. The dog bolts, goes to find mom, finds mom by chance. So I'm just trying to get the dog. Yeah, finds the fucking. Dude, this is like, it's easily an eight minute walk. 10 minute walk. What the fuck?

Yeah. Wait. What? This, this, the the mexican dude yeah was he was he hoofing it too or was he no pretty pretty slow job he was casual for about to lose his entire career this dog had run away from a house that was like when we encountered it was like a hundred yards down the street and he was just going yeah not a care in the world dude yeah yeah not a care in the world just walking he also respected he did we did go down the street and he was just going. Yeah. Not a care in the world, dude. Yeah, yeah. Not a care in the world. Just walking. I respect it. We did go down the same path on the way back

after he, and he was like, he was laughing like leaning on the edge of the outside of the house and he was like, yeah, this is really... And then we just did like a soft fist bump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically was saying that was close, dude. I almost had to go back to the home. What kind of dog was it?

It's just a little furry piece of shit Dude what's up with these fucking It had wheels though You ever see these Had fucking wheels These pit bulls that are shaped like wiener dogs Like fucking little strong wiener pits No

No they're like long They have their ears cut Somebody's breeding them to fight But they're yoked This is actually how I would describe both of your body types Yoked wiener dogs Somebody's breeding them to fight, but they're yoked. This is actually how I would describe both of your body types. Yoked wiener dogs. That's hurtful.

No, it's not. I would save you in a park, dude. You would? Yeah, I'd chase you down the street. I wouldn't want to be saved, dude. I'm a self-sufficient strong wiener, dude. You two fucking living in the woods, self-sufficient. God, what a love story.

Holy shit. Catching birds, too. God, what a love story. Holy shit. Catching birds. I got to piss. Yeah.