Stuff Island - Stuff Island #86: The New World Order w/ War Mode

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

- Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the patch. Each week they'll talk about anything & everything under the sun. Twice a month Tommy cooks a delicious dish & twice a month they live stream VR Golf and Onward with fans. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en - Follow War Mode on www.patreon.com/WARMODE Support the show & got to factormeals.com/stuffisland40 and enter promo code: STUFFISLAND40 for 40% off your first box  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You guys don't give a fuck about anything, do you? I mean, I care about stuff. Like building? Yeah. I know what he cares about. The level of concentration on his face. Dude, this kid glued his fucking forehead 12 hours ago. Wait, this happened last night?

Two nights ago. No, the night before. So wait, hold on. Dude, it was a Biden moment. I just got up and went down. So it wasn't, you're not a... Sorry if it's giving you the ick. No, no.

Yeah, I tried to make a cheese sandwich right after I jerked off, and I was out of it, and I fell. Couldn't get my hands out. Were you in socks? Shaky legs. No, I was totally naked. Just on a dusty hardwood floor, bro. And you just opened up and started like a wet like a wet dick just

hit my fucking face and then i was like that's this is someone walking by the window when was the last time you got hit in the face it's been a while it's been like five years opened a cabinet it hit me in the other night i think like a dude punched yeah you don't remember that no was my dick out no i don't remember that at all tommy dude punched you in the face yeah you don't remember that? no was my dick out? no I don't remember that at all when Tommy gets like going in the kitchen he starts just throwing things around and I was I was like

I was eating something I don't remember yeah and he like he was trying to get a dish out of the drawer and he just like just swung the cabinet open and hit me in the head

well I was drunk I mean obviously yeah that's okay I thought you were awake no you're talking about a nose hit. You're talking about like crying. I'm saying like a dude punching you.

No. Yeah, no, it's been a while. The closest thing I have is hitting like an excavator bucket or something metal like that. It just doesn't forgive and it hurts so fucking bad. Yeah. Where you just have to kind of just sit down for a second and just chill. Yeah, excavator buckets. I got my work boots on for conversations like this, dude.

I was ready for Billy. I mean, Spade were lifting, so I got the flatties on that's all we care about right now lifting and building houses my arms are shaky yeah I watched Spade

get a pump for the first time in his life what? yeah it was the first time I felt that it was like watching a kid

not like that but it was like a kid getting his first erection he's like dude what the fuck's going on you never lifted before? never it's all just natural

you feel like my uncle Ray my uncle Ray is a pipe fitter Bill said I'm gonna get big if I lift he's got a good frame for it he does

he's got a great frame but dude I mean and those projects as a man when you already know you get excited about something like this walking in I'm gonna shape you

this is what I'm talking about this is what I'm into I'm into building a body it's true taking me into my 50s. The body I had was not going to make it. If you've never done it before, you're going to fucking take off.

You're going to start shaping real quick. It's all bullshit. They keep trying to say you've got to get on TRT if you're old. Fuck that, dude. They're just trying to make you beholden to big pharma. You can get that shit yourself, no problem. That babble on the way up about peptides, I'm like dude i don't understand this shit at all you fucking take any supplements no i had jaco fuel that's it

jaco fuel it's not that well i used to i like you remember pre-workout and explode i was on i've fucking taken everything yeah like shit that like would you'd piss hot for meth and they'd have to take off the shelves of gnC, like all that shit. Yeah. And like, it just, it's definitely not good for you. So like the Jocko fuel stuff, I'm not even like trying to suck his dick. It's just all like normal shit.

Vitamins, B12, monk fruit before you lift. And that's good enough. Do you feel, do you get, do you get fired up? Not like,

not like you're walking. He walks around and mumbles. Yeah. Well, I'm embarrassed that I'm there. It's not that you're walking around. No eye contact. Do you get fired up from drinking it? No, he walks around and mumbles. He's embarrassed that I'm there. It's not that. You're walking around, no eye contact.

It's not that. Just go over there and hit that machine. You get that focused? It's not a focused thing. There's a gym bill. I do the encyclopedia bodybuilding Arnold Schwarzenegger competition program. Yeah. I'm looking at Spade, and doing triceps he has some shit that's fucked up with him his shoulders so like i'm like all right i have to do incline bench and lat pull

downs i'm thinking about spade think about what he can do like today we did arms overhead dumbbell or dumbbell tricep you can't do that yeah so that's a lot like in spades they ask me questions i'm trying to think so it's not like uh a, there's no shame bringing him with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like fucking my Geppetto. What's the goal though? What's the goal? To get fucking Jack. Yeah.

That's the only goal. To change his main confidence. He's going to walk around. Oh, him. I can see. What's your goal for me? Yeah, to maintain. The goal is to get Geppetto.

Geppetto's the guy that makes it. The goal is to get Geppetto into a Travolta. I became a real boy now i'm gonna fucking get back yeah i want to see you in a silk shirt with three buttons down by next summer dude i want to change your whole fucking way of being yeah i mean why like why wouldn't you lift i think you need already walking out my head up yeah that's the main thing i told spade like you start doing these you're walking around like you're fucking happy to be alive everything's fucking good yeah but when when you're like working start doing these, you're walking around like you're fucking happy to be alive. Everything's fucking good.

Yeah. But when you're like working out for a sport, you're like, you're thinking about other people being stronger than you. I am. If you're going around the world, like, and you're fucking frail, dude, you're screwed. Yeah. It's mainly like a not being able to get raped thing. Yes.

You know what I mean? I don't want anyone to impose their will onto me. Yes. Or at least I want to be scary looking enough. People might rape speed. Well, when I first broke my knee. Sometimes.

He could. He's victim weight. When I first broke my knee, that's all I thought about was that I can never run away from anyone now. I'm fucked. Yeah.

Why? And it gives you a whole other mindset. It's like a female mindset. Let me tell you something. Nobody's chasing you with a band-aid stuck in the middle

of your forehead. Especially when it's fucking hot yellow. They could if they think he's usually pickings. No, that's a fucking scary looking man. That's scary, especially with the high-vis band-aid. Nobody's chasing you With a bandaid Stuck in the middle of your forehead Especially when it's fucking They could If they think you're Hot yellow No that's a fucking Scary looking man

That's scary Especially with a high vis bandaid Dude It's either that or black It's for hunting season No I think you look like Enough of a problem Like you've never had any

No one's ever fucked with me Yeah That's I can Like my one buddy Went on a double date Or a date with a girl On Tinder First you know first date got pepper sprayed in old city who who did my buddy he was walking down the street and him and the girl he brought on the first day got

pepper sprayed just random yeah and i told him i was like it's your fucking fault yeah you look like a bitch like that yeah i never got pepper sprayed yeah yeah if i did it'd be like chimp empire i would immediately start grabbing for any until it comes off i think about that shit all the fucking time dude me too you know do you ever get the sensation when you do meet a guy you're like that that guy could fuck me up it fucks me up yeah like there's a dude there's a bartender he's a he's a country bread motherfucker he's like two times the size of you and he is thick and he was like a college wrestler every time I shake his hand

I'm like if he want it if he want it my butthole it's his and there's nothing much I can do we saw a dude

down in Arizona that was like a linesman and he was literally the most proportionate looking individual I've ever seen but he was 6'9

and maybe 275 literally I saw that dude couldn impose his rules. Yeah. That's the only, just as long as you're fucking strong and you defend yourself, that's all. If the Indians saw those guys coming out, that's a game over.

Yeah. That's Texas. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's why Bezos and them are getting jacked, I think. They should be bigger. Yeah, because no, I don't know if you've ever been in like a corporate meeting. Elon is disrespectful. Elon should be shredded. He should be bigger yeah because no I don't know if you've been in like a corporate meeting Elon is disrespectful

Elon should be shredded dude he should be I got a whole thing with like if you're fat and sober no reason no

it gets me so upset the reason you get chunky is because you get fucked up you start ordering bullshit drinking 40 fucking beers you just do that if you want to feel

good order food at night yeah i'm not getting through you know what i'm saying you don't have to drink you feel like a lonely for like a couple years well offense gopuff comes around yeah dude i had a bulgarian olympic workout handed to me in high school me and my my boy cooch used to go to this like man's gym exposed brick like there was nothing there other than like old school dumbbells dudes with there literally was a sign over the treadmill said no work boots on the treadmill yeah yeah you know those types of fucking paint on their face they'd have a flannel just

ripped off this dude hands me a document that was like 25 pages and it had three one a day to two a day to three a day i'm familiar with this yeah yeah that's why you reminded me when you said that russian kushik's workout was real big when i was in high school yeah but like i didn't know at the time that like that dude was just fucking juiced on roids yeah of course he's fucking remember that bill's mad when he like never headbutted that dude with his helmet off brian cushing was fucked up that's the other thing i'm too afraid to use steroids yeah no you would look ridiculous yeah i wouldn't want to do it you also don't want to go immediately you don't want to be that big.

I say to my fucking, my one buddy's humongous and he's an electrician. So dude, you have to go in fucking attics and be like 338. It doesn't make sense. It's useless. You look silly as fuck too.

That's why I'll just stay a little bit fat and somewhat. Right where you're at, baby. I'm good. Just manage right there with health and heart.

You understand? That's the only thing I'm worried about, my fucking heart. You doing, you doing blow? Fuck no. Good. Then you're fine. Shit's for chicks. Yeah. I also worry about that because I'm worried about, my fucking heart. You doing blow? Fuck no. Then you're fine. Shit's for chicks.

I also worry about that because I'm so... You don't like to dance? My limbs are so small. If I get a little bit jacked, I can't touch my shoulders and shit. Hack squats? What's a hack squat? Bill? I don't know if what we were doing is hack squats.

That was just the... Hack squats are when you pick up a barbell from behind and do a deadlift allegedly I don't fuck with that whatever that thing was I did

I would never be able to get it past my ass that thing it's a square it's a square that we sit in the middle of oh yeah like the super easy way

to do that's a deadlift for girls yeah literally exactly I mean I just walked in no it's a good starter kit

for Geppetto I'm just saying like once you get to it I can't wait to see when I get benched I haven't benched yet I don't like deadlifting I hate it

fucks your back up every fucking time I like it I got 300 for 5 last week I think it's dangerous and I'm a little boy that's very good

it's pretty good right yeah yeah it's pretty good what do you do yeah look at this smile dude if I really had to I could probably do like 225 for 10. But that's like if I fucking went ham, but I hate deadlifting.

Yeah, you don't have to go. That's something you don't do. I'll get 135, get like four sets of 12, keep everything fucking oiled up and good to go. We turn this fucking pot into a locker room real quick. We always have comics on here. We never have men's men. You know what I mean? It's better.

It feels good. A bunch of callous monkeys just chatting about weight. I kind of wish I did roids in college. What the fuck? Dude, supposedly it dribbles your unit. I'm talking to a guy now in a very doctor, not yet, a doctor-patient relationship. And he's trying to tell me that all those young dudes

that did steroids are all on fucking Cialis. They're fucked. Good. And they're in their early 30s. If you did steroids are all on fucking Cialis. Yep. They're fucked. Yeah. And they're in their early 30s. Like, if you did steroids in your college age, you're fucked. Really?

Your dick just stops working? This is from a doctor. What is it? He's seen too many guys and he was a bodybuilder. This dude was a bodybuilder, was taking deer antler shit to fucking get big.

Said it made him so fucking horny. What, like shave deer? Yes, yes. Wait, is that Chinese medicine? Yeah. Forging goat he's medicine. Yeah, dude, why don't we? Know that's that's what he was telling he was taking but he's probably fucking he said he was on steroids as well as oh That was to combat this negative effects. His wife was complaining about it. Oh Imagine me that horny. Hey going down the Chinatown. That's where deer antlers Yeah, it's like looking for a mogwa magua. I would be fucking so pissed off

if my unit just got shriveled for no reason. I was like 23, like what the fuck is going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could already do that with my own brain, let alone actual stuff.

But the pump might be that addictive. It could be. If I was young and I felt that, God knows what I'd look like. I'd be a cube. I was way over, top heavy as hell when I was in college.

No legs. Yeah. I just got a legs and ass like five years ago. People always try to hit me with the fact that I got small legs. I'm like, you got your fucking mind. No, you don't. Do it. You got nice hands.

Yeah, I think you got nice legs. Hell no. I never do calf raises, ever. No, that comes with you. Calfs will get billed as you do everything else. I don't know. Tommy knows what you're talking about. I do.

I like it. He's got the confidence of a man. There's so many people out there like me and him that comes with you. Chaos will get built as you do everything else. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. I do. I like it. He's got the confidence of a man. There's so many people out there like me and him that know a lot. You can talk about a lot of shit. You couldn't get into the nitty gritty, but you know what the fuck works. You know the way he's talking. He's fucking real. Yes, exactly.

The body wants to get stronger. Oh, I like that, Chris. My main thing. We agree on this. The body wants to get stronger. People act like it's hard. You just got to move around. No, it's mostly mental for people

because they do the wrong things. This is a lesson for... These people are actually like this. They sign up in January and they put too much on their plate. Yeah. They don't have fun. You're actually not supposed to do

a fucking New Year's resolution. It's actually bad. It doesn't align with everything. You're supposed to start your resolution in May. Yeah. You can't be expected to do it in June. Wow, that's what we did. That's crazy.

Yeah, allegedly, according to astrologers and shit. Really? I think that's right. It makes sense. You can't be expected to do it in June. Wow, that's what we did. That's crazy. Yeah, allegedly, according to astrologers and shit. Really? No, I think that's right. It makes sense. You fucking sit there in the middle of winter and you're going to get

your fat ass up off the couch and go to the gym. It's not happening. Plus, everyone else is in there doing that so you see them and then you feel like a fucking idiot.

But people that have never done it before start in May. They think they're going to be good by June. That's one thing I learned. It takes three to six months to see anything.

You got to get in shape to get in shape. One thing I learned about life is this shit. This is so fucking good. You know what I'm saying? It's going to take forever. It's going to take me two years. You're a blank canvas. It'll take you three months to see a difference and then you'll start working harder and harder.

You mean it? Yeah, dude. Three months, I feel like you'll be in shape to then start actually getting in shape is he right yeah yeah my this is all out of respect for god i got a chance to come on this earth and experience all this shit this is great you're gonna sit there and be fucking fat and lazy you can't be you have to be the highest form of yourself thank you dude yeah god i need to get to that place i need need to start. Well, Chris is a freak because he goes once a week now. He's a mass monster.

Dude, it's nuts. It's nuts. He's still shredding fucking fat. He beats the shit out of his body and he'll just lay down for fucking three days straight. He goes to the gym. The trainer's like,

he doesn't change. Yeah. He's still front squatting 225 or some bullshit. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's crazy. And you think I'm juicing?

No, no, no. Not at all. I'm just saying that's a fucking high test. My front squat's the kettlebell, right? Yeah, your front squat's the kettlebell. is wrong with you it's crazy and you think i'm juicing no no not at all i'm just saying that's a fucking we should get squats the kettlebell right yeah you front squats you can't get his arm over the barbell right now because yeah shoulders fucked up yeah well you go front too chris goes that's right i can't do this that's good i can't even cross one yet cross one's definitely on on the it's on the menu you You do Bulgarian split squats? No, no, no. I did those yesterday. Yeah, they're nice, dude.

They fucking blow. They will rip you up. When am I going to do cardio with the ladies? You don't need to do cardio. We don't run because we're not afraid of anything. Just do tri-sets. That's it. Monkey bars. Monkey bars?

They look cool. What monkey bars? Upstairs. Your gym has monkey bars? Yeah, it's real nice. Damn. It has all sorts of fucking shit. What the equinox for men negative it's uh city fitness you got any weirdos sit like swaying in the fog looking to suck your dick no new york sports club there's like three dudes i see every fucking day and they're in they're in there way too long

and they're right next neither gender is trying to suck me. I don't know, dude. Some dudes look for guys just like you, like the man's man. But he just, he like floats and just stares outside the little window. He's a real fucking weird foreigner, dude. Yeah. I went to a gay, whatchamacallit,

lifting place, gym on 12th Street in Philadelphia for a while. Was it strictly gay? No, it was just in the gayborhood and I was at Temple but then I dropped out and they wouldn't let me in the gym so I just searched the gayborhood and i was at temple but then i dropped out and they wouldn't let me in the gym so i just searched for gyms nearby and this thing i like i saw it in steam room yeah obviously didn't know it was in the gayborhood but it's

right next to chipotle so it was optimal for games i was sitting in the fucking steam room i was like ever see the fucking videos of the uh deers drinking water and all the crocodiles right yeah yeah i was pretty much that deer just chilling in the steam rooms. Never got a pro. You must have been a snack, dude. Never got a pro. How was the rest of the vibe in the gym, though? Gay. Very gay. Yeah, the whole gym was...

Were you jealous of their physiques? Not at all, honestly. That's what... I don't get... I tell Spade this. I don't get jealous. It pumps me up when someone else achieves glory like that.

That's what I'm saying, dude. I don't like when they fucking lie, though. When you have people like Liver King who are like, oh, dude, I'm doing this by eating fucking bull testicles obviously not he was hammering crazy really like 15 grand a month yeah yeah if you're lying about that it just doesn't make sense because you can just be honest and tell people yeah that's what he's trying to do now save his brain just talk about how he's on steroids yes so he just forgave people right for his actions and he's like well he's still trying

to do content he asked for forgiveness yeah he had no one to forgive i think he was trying to get on rogan yeah he was trying very hard to get on rogan couldn't do it imagine eating bull testicles and it not working out i fucked up and i lied about everything guys you think his dick's probably not working yeah there's no way it might i. I don't know. I mean, his ancestral supplements allegedly make you horny as fuck. I've never tried them. Yeah. Also, there's enough pathetic

fucking OnlyFan ladies to let him bend his weird dick into a liver queen. He's married to him, so I don't think he does anything like that. Oh. He's got a liver queen. So she...

Ethan Klein tried to ask him, like, what do they do in the bedroom? He's like, dead serious, don't ever talk about my wife in that fucking way ever again. I like that. And shut it down immediately.

I like that a lot. I won't disrespect his wife. Liver Queen seems awesome, Striker, and I forget the other one. He's awfully defensive. I don't think he's defensive. I mean, I think you shouldn't have some fucking gremlin like Ethan Klein sitting there. That's fair. What are you and your wife doing in the bedroom?

That's 100%. Mother and children. Ethan Klein is. Lock room talk afterwards, just chilling. Yeah. And you know that's fair. That's 100% children. That's sort of guys locker room talk afterwards just chilling. Yeah. And you know that's going to be out forever too.

If you answer that question it's everybody knows. Yeah. I got in a fucking huge hole with that dude getting his mind destroyed by Bill Burr. Oh, Ethan Klein?

Yeah. He got fucking leveled by Bill Burr. Really? Yeah. Who's this Ethan Klein guy? I know he's not Italian. He's like one of these dudes that like

take an ease. There's like a group of dudes that like take an ease there's like there's like a group of people that are like intensely popular because they like started early you know there was like they were like the first ones to ever do a podcast yeah people just listen to him yeah and every time his numbers start to suffer he like picks a fight with so he's like they're in like a the podcast drama world Where they're like Yeah Oh yeah I've seen this Yeah yeah

Yeah so it's all It's all purposeful It's like him and like Hassan Yeah Young Turks I don't fuck with that I don't fuck with that shit

That's not me You don't fuck with the Young Turks No I hate the Young Turks I've always hated Oh the election has been rigged Don't put your finger on it I've always hated the Young Turks I hate Hass the election has been rigged. Don't put your finger on it. I've always hated the Young Turks. I hate Hassan.

Why? Because of his Chad-like tendencies? Yeah. Rebel Chads are brutal. Dude. I mean, there's one right there. But he's like super lib. Yeah.

And his speech pattern drives me fucking nuts. Yeah. The way he talks. He also, he's one of those people who doesn't say anything. Yeah. He'll be like, this guy's a fucking idiot. He's dumb. He's like stupid.

He's like, he doesn't get it. He's like, he keeps saying just stuff that's ridiculous. That's all of those. You haven't panels and shit. I've seen you pulling those reps. I fucking love it, dude. Did you go up too? I was going down.

Rope? Going down. You haven't done rope curls yet? Mm-mm. How about the handoffs? I'm sorry, I'm not done with this, dude. Because I don't know politics shit. I was going down rope going down I'm doing rope curls yet how about the handoffs I'm sorry I'm not done with this one because I don't know politics shit I don't listen to fucking corny dorks do you uh we used to do this handoff you grab like a 90 you go 10 yeah I'm a burnout set on the machine

because you burn out different we're at different levels. Yeah, I get it. We just go down to the bottom and just go up, get at least 10. Hell yeah. Chris, you fuck with burnouts? Well, I don't know. Bill, explain. You just go to gas, drop it, go to failure.

You ever do the pegboard? Yes. Nah. I hurt my shoulder last time I did it. Dude, the pegboard is... Dude, he's fit as fuck if he's doing shit like this. You're like a little Jason Bourne. I'm not, dude.

You ever done a muscle-up? Never. Dude, that was the day my life changed. You do a pull-up and then go up and over the bar and push yourself up. That's like gymnastics stuff. No, it's CrossFit, but yeah. Gymnastics. It is gymnastics stuff.

No, I know, I know, I know. But you got to do it slow. Gymnasts are strong as fuck gymnasts are unbelievable I don't count muscle ups where you kick no you gotta go you gotta start with the

you gotta start with the you gotta do straight gym style you gotta start with the kipping that's what I'm saying no kip right you can't get to that point without learning the kip

to get up there first because you're working muscles that you've never worked before have you ever done one no because I don't kip so then shut up about it because I don't kip you gotta kip to learn up there first because you're working muscles that you've never worked before have you ever done one no because i don't shut up about it kip you gotta kip to learn how to do it no you do that's the first step you could do a negative that's like going i only i only bench 225 you could just do well you gotta start with the bar nah i don't consider that mention it's part of the process to learn you don't like negatives yeah you gotta do the barbell thing you gotta i know i know

you gotta do the kipping you gotta learn how to do the butterfly pull-up yeah and then you work in the butterfly pull-up is you use your body like concave and then convex and you swing and then there's way too much gyration going on in crossfit that i just don't fuck with yeah i only do multiple movements joints it's gotta be terrible for the joints. It's like cult-like. And they all just mash fucking Sour Patch Kids afterwards with their healthy

and my glucose levels. I've said this so many times. Did you do CrossFit? Fuck no, bro. How do you know so much about it? Bro, I've literally been watching. He's the pulse. I've been reading Muscle & Fitness.

I've been doing all this shit since I was 13 years old. I was getting, I was like a little fucking kid. Like the ones that get made fun of for being gay. I was going through the same thing just because I liked the lift. All my dad, my dad,

everyone like, all right, Hans. Yeah. Okay. What are you gay? Muscle and fitness magazines. I'm gay for that.

Yeah. Just trying to find a new workout. Yeah. It's just cause there's shirtless men on a fucking. Yeah. I mean, never in their lives. Were you playing?

You were playing football or something. Football. I played basketball up until eighth grade. Football I played through high school and then I went

to a combine when I was junior year going into senior year. I went to a combine in Maryland. I saw a black kid run a 4-3-40

and I was like, I will fucking stick to something else. There's no way I'm ever going to be able to compete with these fuckers. Where were you? Outside linebacker? Outside linebacker, slotback, punter sometimes. It's about else. Yeah. There's no way I'm ever going to be able to compete with these fuckers. Yeah. Where are we? Outside linebacker?

Outside linebacker, slotback, punter sometimes. It's about angles. Yeah, punter? Nice. You can make up for that lack of speed. Bro, no, you can't. Someone runs a 4-3-40, you're not catching it. Yeah, you got to take an angle of pursuit.

I could be going straight across while they're coming up. The 4-3 is so fast. Well, you never go straight across. That's why you get slow. You guys run those across? No matter what, I can't catch it. What? Chris, you run those for lac No matter what, I can't get it. What?

Chris, you run those for lacrosse? 40-yard dash? 40s? Yeah, I remember thinking that I was like 4-4-ish and running like a laser time. 4-9. 4-9, all right. It's like 4-7. Yeah.

4-9 is like the six-inch dick of being fast. That's a 12-500. Yeah, literally. That's a 12-500. Every human can run. It's kind of impressive. Yeah, literally. That's a 12500. Every human can run. It's like kind of impressive. It's what a grown man should be able to do.

Yeah, no one's laughing at you and calling you slow, but you're not fast. Exactly. We ran 60s in baseball. But sometimes the 40 doesn't capture like your explosiveness.

Nice coat, dude. It's literally all coats. Everything's nice. Nice coat. You gotta be chasing something. That's why they have That little rabbit In front of the greyhounds

Dude Exactly You need to be motivated I agree with you I think we should run We should run 40s We should time ourselves Next

Look Just give me some time Next vacation Spade was fast as balls bro Yeah I bet Next vacation We all run 40s

Give me some more light games You didn't race me I didn't race that day. What the hell was that about? You didn't want to race, you didn't want to play paddle ball. Paddle ball is dog shit. I almost threw my rig out throwing the pillow around for six hours a day.

Getting blacked out on cut waters. Riding a goddamn cart home. It was the best week of my life. That was a great week. That's just why I'm trying to duplicate the water ball. The water ball we had was fantastic. Where are you bringing that? Huh?

Where are you bringing that? Long Beach. Oh. Or Jacob Reese. Rockaway. Don't know any of those. There was Brooklyn Beaches. Long Island Beaches, rather.

Oh, okay, okay. 40 minutes away. It's sandy. What are the beaches like? They're beautiful. Really? They're actually pretty nice. Rockaway's the only one that's kind of rocky, but Sandy came through and they had to redo

the whole thing, so it's nice now. It's just riffraff, shall I say. Yeah, right. Because it's the only line that has public transportation, you know? So all the scumbags get in there. But if you go during the week, it's empty. You've got to go somewhere car-only.

You go car-only and there's a parking lot? That's for you. That's the ticket? Yeah, that's for playing fucking yacht rock, you know? Remember we had that fucking playlist going on? I was just at a fucking beach for Memorial Day weekend. They gave me the iPod or the phone. I queued up everything on Spotify.

Seven to eight people, like, who's playing this playlist? There you go, DJ. Let me tell you something. DJ. The same joy you have training him, when you're in charge of music in like a beach hang and everyone's excited, you're like, I did my job. I know.

I brought enough sandwiches for everybody. It's your dad taking the kids to the park with everything he needs. My record on controlling music is not good. What do you chuck on? What? Dark, suicidal shit. No, no. No, you love the playlist I threw on the beach.

I did, but it's dark and suicidal. No, it's not. It was happy-go-lucky. Tyler Childress and fucking- No, no. I was just playing jams. I was playing like- You're playing like my friend's sons? No. Yeah, shit like that. What was happy-go-lucky. Tyler Childress and fucking... No, no, I was just playing jams. I was playing like... What are you listening to right now?

What's on repeat for you? I hate my friends. Greek. Greek mythology. Yeah, yeah, I've been listening to Greek mythology. I was... The last little music session I had, I was doing like a patiently waiting radio. What is that?

Like 50 Cent, Get Rich or Die Trying. Oh, that's sick. I went back to Big Sur. It's so good. It's so good. The Massacre was one of the first albums I ever got as a child, and I enjoy that a lot. The Massacre was a great album.

And then my brother, Tom, found me drawing pictures of G-Unit. And the only thing I knew how to do was give dudes big circle arms. Got called gay for that. Throughout the massacre. I used to draw a dude with a huge arm shooting a gun. Yeah, I sucked. It was so bad. Spade's an actual artiste.

Yeah? Yep. Nice. When's the last time you painted? Like 10 years ago. You ever draw? You ever doodle? It's not fair.

Like, I was born with it. So it's just like, it seems not fair. Yeah, but you're born with a certain level. And I have nothing. There's no reason to do art. Why? No one looks at fucking paintings. I would look at your paintings.

No one looks at drawings. I would look at your paintings, too. Well, I'm just saying, like... You never have things in your head you'd want to, like... Like, new art is like video art like the new art world is fucking crazy and like I just like to do the old stuff so it's a hobby

yes it takes up a lot of time I can't spend nine hours a day fucking doing portraits but are you drawn? no I haven't drawn in a decade but I'm not I can't lose it I was born with it you ever have like a wild dream that you want to illustrate no really what about when you're taking mushrooms or something

you ever have like a vision you're like a man i mean when i take my if i take like a high dose of mushrooms everything that ever is there you know no no what does that mean everything that ever was there he's indescribable dude I mean yeah what Shane's doing something he's dropping a fucking grenade well you played safe

for a while you're good what you haven't talked about anything crazy yeah yeah what about Biden falling

what are your thoughts it's not good no they're gonna it's gonna be interesting to see if they can get him through the

I haven't I like I genuinely obviously I would drop it too I mean that's I'm just like trying to count how many times Trump fell they were jerking off

or slipping down a fucking runway didn't fall he had dress shoes on and the ramp he slipped yeah they were freaking out like oh my god

he slipped he slipped. He slipped. Biden. I don't even remember that. It's just very, it's very nice that you can just There's a lot that people don't remember.

You know, I don't even even when it was going bad the other way, I gave up on it. What do you mean? During the Trump administration, I gave up. You never gave up.

You haven't given up. You you bring it you bring it up every time i've never once brought up i've never once brought it up to you what what do you think it is what do you mean what do i think what do you think the russian collusion russian collusion is uh i think that uh how high did it go in russia wait is what do you mean can you guys tell me what's going on? They said that Trump was colluding with Russia to steal an election. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though it's extremely bad to deny elections and elections are sacred and all that shit.

Yeah. And you had a problem? I remember you telling me the laptop is fake. The laptop's not fake, dude. The laptop is 100% fake. Yeah, that's iconic. Where's the, yeah, did remember you telling me the laptop is fake. The laptop's not fake, dude. The laptop is 100% fake. Where's the, yeah, did they get them on the laptop? Actually, they just put it in. They're trying to start an investigation.

Can I show you Marco Polo real quick? They're trying to start an investigation. I thought they were investigating it already. They put the papers in to investigate all this stuff. They haven't been working on it already for months. Hunter's handler, Kevin Morris, is taking all the money for selling his paintings. Who is?

Kevin Morris is one of his handlers. Like, not only was he in the Ukraine, he was in... Chris, you're so far behind. You want to sit in? I have no idea what's going on. Yeah, I am. Thank God I'm far behind.

You're so far behind, dude. Yeah, why would I be paying attention to this? You know, who's that corny comic that just fucking volleyballs premises to the comics? I have no idea what's going on I'm just going to ask questions

yeah Trump used Russia to steal the election when you say Russia what do you think in Russia what is that

I think that this is what I think I think that... This is what I think. I think that Russia wanted to fuck metal. I think Russia wanted to meddle with the election, and I think Trump didn't have a problem with that.

And they actively sort of like were courting them to help. But I mean, how high do you think that went in Russia? Which part of it? Like the wanting to take over our election. Remember another good one? Chris said Joe Biden was more cognizant.

Obviously, I was like, yeah, but I mean, he just fell. I mean, that's close. That's close. That's close to what? What do you mean that's close, dude? What makes you think Trump's so sharp? Trump just had a town hall. You can say a sentence.

He literally just talked about all the sentences or gibberish anyway not necessarily he's pretty fucking on point with what we should do Biden's good at

talking shit but that doesn't mean he he literally won't let Joe Biden debate in public yeah they won't let him

debate he debated last time he needed to debate he debated wait I saw I saw a picture on this is what's crazy

they get so mad about this and then accuse me of... What do you mean? I don't get mad. I mean, we're chilling. I think he's pretty chill. I'm a veteran in a fucking biological war. He gets mad.

I mean, this is just fucking... I've been in the mud and the blood, brother. It sucks, but, you know, we're here now. This stuff gets screamed at me nonstop. What's the picture I saw? I'm the one who can't let it go when I tell you you just yelled

admit that you just yelled I have a theory I think that's still up for debate that's not up for debate whatsoever how do you know you haven't had them tested I've watched both of them talk. If he's climbing a peg wall, he's too high T to admit defeat.

Yeah. It just is what it is. That's about it. He's too high T. He's got a speech impediment. When wet. He's got a speech impediment. Oh, that one.

I still hear about this every time. No, no, come on. We're not doing that. We don't have to do that. Guys, we're having a good time. We are having a good time. You were so much better pre-hoagie. You're so much better pre-hoagie.

This is like Loki. I'm right about the sand thing. No, you're not. Oh, my God. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. The best part about this... I stand by the sand.

The only part of this podcast anyone's going to understand is the weightlifting part. They're going to be pissed. Look at that fucking face. Look at him. It's hard. It's a searching face. During the prime season, you need wholesome, convenient meals

to energize you for warmer, more active days. More active? More active days. I like more active. To keep you on track, reaching your goals. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and tackle everything on your to-do list.

You were supposed to help me with that self-tape. I know. And it's about at-home meals. Looking for calorie-conscious options ahead of summer? Try delicious, dietician-approved calorie-smart meals with around or less than 550 calories per serving. You need a boost right now. serving we offer delicious flavor-packed options on the menu each week to fit a variety of lifestyles from keto to calorie smart vegan plus veggie and protein plus prepared by chefs and approved by dieticians each meal has all the ingredients you need to feel satisfied all day long while meeting

your goals and if you're looking to mix it up you can add a protein to select vegan and veggie meals each week. This June, get Factor and enjoy clean eating without the hassle. Simply choose your meals and enjoy fresh, flavor-packed meals delivered to your door. Ready in just two minutes. No prep, no mess. Head to factormeals.com slash Stuff Island 40 and use code Stuff Island40 to get 40% off your first box. That's code stuffisland40, 4-0, at factormeals.com slash stuffisland40 to get 40% off your first box.

No question. You want to talk about curls? Yeah, dude. Yeah, I mean... My preacher curls are... Preacher? Did you do preacher? Preachers today. Let's go. Yo, Bill, why didn't we do the I mean... My preacher curls are... Preacher? Did you do preacher? Preacher's today.

Let's go. Yo, Bill, why didn't we do the inverted or... Reverse curls? Dude, get him doing hammer curls on the preacher. We will. Resistance, three seconds on the way down. I'm learning, dude. Come on, baby.

He's watching me. I know I'm fucking shit up. Yeah. Bill, we got to go. I'm going to get a fucking singlet on. We'll go throw around. I'll come down to Philly. Yo, how much do you think the world record is for benching?

We'll walk around looking to get maced, pal. What'd Yo, how much do you think the world record is for benching? We'll walk around looking to get maced, pal. What'd you say? What do you think the world record is for benching? It's got to be six or 700. So hear me out. You can put a suit on and gain a lot more weight. There's two different records. Yeah, it's bullshit.

What do you mean? They put that weight, that wet suit. You want to go to the record? Raw dog. Raw dog? Yes. That is to go to the record? I went raw dog. Raw dog? Yes. That is bullshit. 800 pounds.

Woo! Jesus Christ. So what is it with that, with the thing, 11? 11. Oh my God. That suit gives you a 300 pounds suit. Yeah, it's bullshit. What does the suit do?

I have no idea. It restricts your, it's like a- You literally are like here, so when you're down here, it's easier to come up. I don't understand how it's- Yeah, it's got a spring, it almost has a spring to it. Yeah, it's so tight. They have to put it on, and when you get it on, you're literally, your up. I don't understand how it's... It almost has a spring to it. It's so tight. They have to put it on. And when you get it on, you're literally...

Your friends have to get you in. It has a fire action to it. It's like doing a... You ever see someone doing a pull-up where they have the bands underneath their feet? It's like when someone pulls a hamstring and they put that shit on their leg. Yes. Gives you a little pushback. But you can't get in on yourself.

It's like wearing Kenzuri's. It gives you a couple inches when you don't fucking deserve it. Why would that even count as a record? What are Kenzuri's? You got Kenzuri's? What are Kenzuri's? A dude wore the suit. It's an elevated shoe. it gives you a couple inches when you don't fucking deserve it why would that even count as a record what are what's this you got Kinsuri's what are Kinsuri's it's an elevated shoe

that's why that for short people where do you get these dude it's one of our sponsors I got a pair what size is this ten dude ah they're nines

nine and a half I'll do it I'll squeeze yeah you might be able to fit into them let's get both you and Kinsuri's and we'll all go to the gym together yeah I wonder what the

let's walk walking equinox Show these gays Dude it's It's pretty weird How discreet they look No The gay people? No Kinsuri's

They have these shoes That make you tall Kinsuri's They have a heel In the back of the shoe Technology for gays Has come a long way dude They have a heel

In the back of the shoe So you're like I'll put this Chris Imagine hooking up with a chick That's like 5'9 And then you gotta take the shoes off Fuck bro yeah i mean but at that point what are they gonna do stop dude consent hello hello no it's dark it's dark you gotta now they're nice shoes goes

to their mouth that's my theory even in the dark we're like fat chicks even in the dark they know i don't think so you've never you've never hooked up with a girl i never lied on dating apps yeah i of their mouth. That's my theory. Even in the dark, we're like fat chicks. Even in the dark, they know. I don't think so. You've never hooked up with a girl. He never lied on dating apps. Yeah, I don't lie. He never gave a roster height. It was always real height.

Yeah, I've never done that. I was only on dating apps for like three months. Yeah, but you're tall enough. Five, ten and a half. Yeah. Why? I'm asking.

Yeah, it's not what those eyes were. You're doubting. I'm not doubting. Those are height supremacists. I'm not a height supremacist. You are it's not what those eyes were. You're doubting. I'm not doubting. Those are the heights of premises. I'm not at heights of premises. You are. I've always told the truth. You are.

How tall is your buddy this is? What are you, six foot? What's that? Six one? About six foot. Yeah. What's Matt? Five eleven?

Five seven. No, he's not. He claims five eleven and three quarters. Yeah, yeah. He's about an inch bigger than me. Yeah. Probably. He's got a nice height.

What about your other brother? Which one? Tom? Tom's pretty tall. Tom's about an inch bigger than me yeah probably he's got a nice height what about your other brother which one tom tom's pretty tall i was about yeah tom and fed are tall maybe maybe six one i remember his wife put something on instagram like my dream man six feet tall and i was like i am it's i mean do you ever feel the how are you taller you're shorter than chris me and chris probably the same you want to go back to back do i ever feel the pressure of the you also short fucking here he's on chris go back to back? Do I ever feel the pressure of the... You also short? No, it's all. Chris, go back to back. No, we'll go back to back. We'll have to rearrange the cameras to do it. I think our heads would be out of frame.

I know you guys' camera shots are like tight. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, no, I've felt it before. I've stopped worrying about it, though. Yeah, but how do you fucking... If chicks are literally out there, I won't date a dude who's under... How about we were chilling with that one dude and he gave it to the real, he was like, yeah.

We were hanging out with a dude who's a fucking millionaire and still he was like, dude, doesn't matter. I'm fucking short. It is what it is. They don't want to procreate with you, dude. Wait, and he's having trouble dating? Oh, that's all him, though. No, he's not having trouble dating, but he was like, when I was on dating apps, like, it just, like, I won't get matches. The amount of women.

Well, the percentage of women that are looking for guys specifically six foot and higher and they're on a dating app are pieces of shit. That's what I would say. The majority. If you're sitting there like X-ing off a dude because he's five foot six, you're a wretched cunt. While you're fucking getting fingered in Applebee's

by strangers that are over six feet. We're talking about fingering. Well, this is the same thing as the 40 time. It's like your field height is different. You know what I mean? If they see you in the wild. Like a six footer? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Six foot energy. Yeah. Fate has that. Look, it's also like the same type of scumbag that would marry someone for their money and then pass on some other guy that you actually have a genuine connection with. You're not going to pass on a 5'10", 5'8 guy

because this dude's 6'1". Are you going to be miserable? And a drunk, probably. Yeah, and probably a fucking drunk. You want a 5'10 drunk? 6'2 alcoholic? Yeah. Dream boat.

Dream boat. With money? Fuck me, dude. I guess my theory's wrong. No, you can't let the social media, the comments on tinder and hinge affect your real life your real life energy which one you want i was the only one that i have now is bumble but it doesn't it might as well just be off you gotta update your profile picture

if you take a train it'll just start like working again because you're getting into like a new area yeah yeah like does like an area thing yeah yeah yeah that's yeah it'll like sees, like, working again because you're getting into, like, a new area. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it, like, does, like, an area thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, it, like, sees how you do it. It gives you a little bit of, like, dude, you get a glimpse of what the girls get. So the girls wake up with, like, 70 matches every day.

Yeah. And, like, seven messages. That's got to be annoying. And that's got to make them horny. Dude, you think? If there was a bunch of chicks sitting up, like, please, let's go out. Please, let's go out.

It's got to make them horny. Something I couldn't even imagine. It's alien. I don't know. I felt like I'm like, please, let's go out. Please, let's go out. It's gotta make a horn. Something I couldn't even imagine. It's alien. I don't know. I felt like I was fucking annoyed by like... Yeah, but dude, you're hot. But no, just the conversations, not just the availability.

It's like, you gotta talk to some fucking dork that doesn't get your sense of humor or like, and it's via text. Here's what I think you should do. What I learned is as soon as you think someone's interesting,

pick up the phone and talk to them. Call them. Call them. You'll get their, okay, boomer. No, you'll get a very clear sense of who they are, how interesting they might be at dinner. Don't waste your fucking money. Say something funny.

See if you get a reaction. They don't laugh. Don't waste your fucking money. Jerk off. Stay at home and jerk off. It's a waste of time, a waste of money, and if they've got a weird. They don't laugh. Don't waste your fucking money. Jerk off. Stay at home and jerk off. It's a waste of time, a waste of money. And if they got a weird voice, you're fucked. You can't get past it.

Beautiful face. Cancel it. Do you ever do day game stuff? Do you ever get out there and just like cold approach women? Dude, I literally, I was talking to Matt today. So me and Billy just stopped working. And I just talked to Matt today about how and Billy just stopped working and I just talked to Matt today about how like

the last week has been tough I wake up and I go alright what are we doing he was basically in a concentration camp for the past like 20 years it's like breaking out of a prison

so like day game like dude I was fucking every day it was like go here do this zero chicks yeah

so I mean day wait what why work work yeah yeah you're not like you're not like there's not like tons of pussy i'm in a house by myself you're not necessarily getting bras thrown out you cut it yeah i mean my stare at the wives on the on the wall my adult fetish is turned into girls waiting for the bus

and cleaning ladies litter what do you mean girls waiting for bus dude it makes sense no one can start looking for it no one can explain this it's just the type of chick that mean girls waiting for bus dude it makes sense once you start looking for it no one can explain this it's just the type of chick that would be waiting for a bus it's like oh she's waiting for the bus

it's like I also wrote a sentence for like because she's like living a simple life but she's cute at the same time it just is what it is

that's his shit well he'd be horned up in New York because that's him going to work let's take him out let's take him to a couple bus stops on the way to go eat.

He could become bus stop buddy. Day game, I don't understand how anyone has ever done that. Cold approaches and shit. It's Gerben. If I did that, it would be, I think you should leave. Yeah, same. It would be a sketch.

It's extremely creepy. Even just walking up to someone at a bar and saying you're interested in them, I think is nuts. But this man right here. No, it does work. It works, yeah. You override their system. They have no idea what's going on. It's like the kids who put the USB in the key and started.

But the thing is, he's better than most. You got to listen to him. What? He's done thousands of approaches. You want the microphone? But see, that's the thing he's got yeah yeah thousands this week does for work dude can we get a microphone yeah yeah i gotta piss anyway yeah let me get a beer sit down what the fuck i don't think i've talked to

a thousand girls my entire life i think max it's 500 women I've conversed with. Really? I was driving a fucking trash truck, dude. There's no sniz there. It's true. All boys school and high school. 1,000? This shit is fascinating to me.

I've been waiting for this and it's a perfect time. This guy, he trains people. He trains rich autistics to approach women to get pussy. How about four autistics? You got to build up your money, dog. Spud, you want to sit in between? Spud, get in here. Let me try this thing over here.

Sit. Yeah, it does work. And also, it's like if you're like Spud and you're honest about your height on the apps people aren't going to give you the time of day but if you get this guy in person he's got a dream he's doing shit he's making stuff happen he's a nice house

artist I would just hate to bother someone yeah like to go up to someone and nag them beg them for pussy but you don't realize that they're out there looking for their son. I know.

Yeah. You know? It's terrifying in the beginning. And like I started doing it. It's like killing someone. I started doing it for you. I would legit, like my heart was like

beating, nervous, sweating, all that stuff. And then I just kept doing it. I started in Boston. And then you started getting like good reactions I started in Boston. And then you start getting good reactions. A girl's talking to you like, I can't believe this is fucking working. And then you get longer conversations. And then you get a number.

You text them. They don't respond. And then a week later, you get another number. And you text them. And you start texting back and forth. And you start going on dates. And you're like, this shit fucking works. So then you build up your confidence knowing that striking out is normal.

It's a numbers game. It's a numbers game. And every single week, every single month you elevate, you know, you start losing like maybe like the first month is like approaching anxiety. And then you're like, you stop getting like nervous. And then maybe like the second or third month is, you know, maybe like making it flirty, making a man, a woman asking for the number, asking for the date. So there's just like levels to it, just like with anything else.

Yeah, it's stand up, dude. You get this outside the gym. You used to bum. Do not do this. Take notes. Do it in the gym. Do you go to the gym? She said hi to me.

Meeting girls at the gym, meeting girls at the supermarket. I was about to ask one chick out of the gym she fucking had to leave because she was throwing up she was she was throwing up she threw up yeah what from going so hard no she was just working the front desk she was working at the front desk and just ran away to throw up yeah she was hung over oh how young we talking oh 20 something yeah's young. If they're throwing up at a gym because they're hungover, you're talking

24 here. Working there. Working though. Yeah. Yeah, she was out until four, Applebee's.

It's a message from God. Yeah. The world does open up. It is. It is. I slowed down,

but the last two years, legitimately, traveling around the world, Argentina, Madrid, Spain. You ever watch Black Mirror? You ever see that one with John Hammond? but the last two years legitimately he was traveling around the world Argentina Madrid Spain

you ever watch Black Mirror? you ever see that little John Hamm? no alright what is it? what happened with John Hamm? what happened with John Hamm? sit here

sit here what happened with John Hamm? you ever see that Black Mirror? huge penis oh yeah huge cock he's got a hog you ever see fucking

Greg Norman on the beach with his dog nope google it soft hammer Bill just saw

like a soft nine yeah a 65 year old man that had a fucking sausage cock tube for a pig my buddy's uncle

literally it's funny look up Greg Norman bird yeah beach yeah so you coach people? Yeah, so the last two years I'm kind of slowing down now because

traveling was so insane. I want to start traveling. I feel like that would be nice. If you go to a different city, there's a different level of confidence you get. If you're approaching in your city, you're like, fuck, if somebody sees me, then I know. If you go to Chicago your city, you're like, fuck, if somebody sees me, then I know.

If you go to Chicago, if you go to Miami, you're like, dude, nobody knows me. Who am I? You're the fucking man. You're the man back home, but you're the man when you go to the city and then you just go to these bars, these lounges, go to the beach saying hi. Before you know it, dude, you got some Colombian girl

who's interested in going on a date with you. Sex city population you, bro bro i've seen crazy shit yeah it's insane i've met so many girls that already stood and they all have pizzazz dude they're all fucking they're all golden yeah we believe in you doug you can you should why do you take him as a client i believe in them yeah let's go. Would you do it? Yeah, take him for two weeks. Yeah, I'm doing nothing. I'm lifting weights with Billy every day.

If he becomes a pussy monster, do you want to do it? Right now, I don't want to be sick. Awesome story. What? This is your goal. I know. I said it. I don't know who he's going to become. We're going to start doing some approaches.

Might be pouring water on a gremlin, brother. Nah. I already was a gremlin. I know. Yeah, I was a gremlin when I was little. Yeah, I already was a gremlin. I know. You were a super gremlin? Yeah. I was a super gremlin. You gotta get him pregnant, dude.

That's so sick. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. This is a great... Yeah, I think you should do it. Yeah. At least try it. You don't have to commit your personality to it.

Hey, what I'm doing now is not working. Yeah. You know, like, girls don't care how good you are at pool. Oh, that's another thing that fucking blew my skull. He walks in the bar out of nowhere

with me, Stav, Shane, and Chris watching the first basketball game. And, yeah,

I want a full episode with that shit. I mean, we could do it, right? I will. I wish we had another, we could do the Patreon.

Yeah, we'll do that. We'll do the Patreon with questions for you. Patreon, fucking this stuff. And he walks in, I don't know wish we had another. We could do the Patreon. Yeah, we'll do that. We'll do the Patreon with questions for you. Patreon fucking this stuff. And he walks in, I don't know, I'm spud. And he's holding a little case. It looked like a drug deal.

I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, well, a pool tournament. He's coming up to Brooklyn to do pool. Yeah, he's a beast. He's a beast. We shot for four hours yesterday. Dude, that's so funny. Are you nice at pool too?

No. He's better than he will say he did a seven bet he did a seven rail trick shot yesterday first try i got a theory here that i'm going to unleash based on what he said about having an eye for art he's born with it yeah pool players because when i play once in a while and i see things that other people don't like in terms of i don't hit the ball enough but i know exactly where to go. When you find someone that can just draw, they see, like if I showed a stranger, draw the angle

of the corner of that wall, and from this perspective, they don't understand perspective and angles. Not to get meta, but I mean, that's all artists are. They just see better in every situation. Yeah, they see things that you can't. So it makes sense that he's a fucking great player. There's a place called Break. Can't see shit.

Let's go fucking shark yeah yeah i can't no like you have to be so good like you have to be so good to hustle people that you can put up you can create another game that's believable yeah so like imagine being good enough at like what like basketball like say pick up basketball you have to be good enough to be a believable level yeah we're like yeah i got this guy and then have another game yeah right that's your actual kairi irving showing up in an old man's suit it's like acting where you'd have to create another game where you're like it's believable that i know how to make this many shots yeah but you can never slip up yeah because the guys the guys that you're hustling they're gonna be sitting there watching like uh this dude can't bank this dude has problems with this.

Yeah. But if you do one shot too good, this motherfucker can make any side pocket shot. Yeah. Very soft. So soft. You got to go very, very soft. God's breath blowing.

He just feeds the pocket. Did you say fat girl breath? No, God's breath. Oh, yeah. I used to say fat girl breath. Because I'm teaching the girl to do like a side pocket shot. I'm like, just think of a fat girl blowing on it.

Gotta be beep. I enjoy the side pocket other than that. This thing I did yesterday, I'll never be able to do it again. You're out of your element. I had, there was a $20 bill

at the very end of the table and I was at this end. You have to hit it off seven bumpers and land it on the $20 bill. I got it first try. We were done. Yeah,

you gotta walk off. Jesus Christ. It was fucking, I'll never be able to do it again... Yeah, we walked out of the pool. We left. That fucking rules. All the years of my life, he does like a trick shot, like a pro trick shot.

The problem is, that's his type of sport. You can't have a family. You can't have friends. You got to be crazy. You got to be crazy. I'll snap the nine on the break. No, no.

You don't have to snap the nine. You got to like put hours in. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I played when I was little so it's and the geniuses of pool already see where

every single ball is gonna be after the break right no they you don't track like five balls ahead I mean I'm not that great

but you can't really you play eight or nine I just started playing nine ball but nine ball is different how many hours

and ten ball is the new thing everybody's playing so handball yeah it's a new thing 10 ball you got a separate rack rogan uh rogan said he would commentate it he did one of the rounds to try to promote it yeah really yeah how long do you think it would take to get decent at pool oh like decent no time just like lifting yeah no time at all for you or for a regular person like I don't know how good Chris is. Take Chris from zero. I could take Chris from zero to make him a strong APA four in a month.

Dude. I could get Billy playing tomorrow. I'm also down for that. You should just coach each other into oblivion. I could try and do this shit forever. Dude, this squad. We got a great gym squad. We could turn into a pussy squad.

Let's get big. We've got diversity here. Huh? Cooking? I thought you said cocaine. No, I haven't done drugs in a while. It's been good. Dude, I would love to get decent at pool.

Yeah, I mean. A couple hours a day. Yeah. You got your days free. Hey, man. We were at a pool on sunday he's got a job not anymore not anymore we were on we were well now my new job is dude i've read a fucking 100 pages i've read like in two days or like 150 pages of a book i'm writing down i'm trying to

make a podcast for us we're gonna i'm gonna try to like level it up do you do like a book book review pod well not like a book review but just like, not like a book review, but just like know more shit. If we know more shit, we'll be able to fucking go. That's how I feel too. Don't you guys think that? Yes. It's just funny seeing this color bandaid on your forehead. But it's true.

I'm like, I'm reading books. Fucking boom. Daytime. It's like, do you have a purpose? He's like, no, but we need to know more shit. No more shit. Jerk off like four times face plant yeah dude i remember i spent i spent a week studying like bird calls and all of a sudden the world was much more vibrant to me yeah you got to create a really yeah because you know where all the birds are in your neighborhood you're like

that's a cardinal that's a blue jay are you doing that now you're walking around being like no i was just like a week over the pandemic. What made you do that? I got into a thing where it's just like, I've been in the city for so long. Then I went and I was just kicking it in the suburbs with my parents for a while. And I was like, I have no idea what any of these plants are.

I have no idea what any of these birds are. I have no idea what animals live in this area. I just walk through this place and it's awesome. I'm watching the show alone. You're like, I gotta figure out nature. And that's a shitty film. Yeah, I guess so. I never thought about it that way. And then you start to learn. You're like, oh my god,

I'm living in a community with animals. True, honestly. And they're communicating. They're talking. The only shit I ever hear is fucking Puerto Ricans blasting. 100%. I heard some guy just motherfucking the sky. I never know whether it's Puerto Ricans or Mexicans.

I heard some guy walking in front of my house just literally motherfucking the sky. Like, just fucking screaming. I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. Where are you at? Are you by him? I'm in West Philly. Oh, yeah, dude. Crazy people wandering around shit for no reason.

God, West Philly sucks. Blows, dude. Where in West Philly are you? I mean... 40 Second for no reason. God, West Philly sucks. It blows, dude. Where in West Philly are you? I mean. Right in the 42nd Lancaster area. Okay, yeah. Hellhole. Yeah.

Fucking hellhole. It's not bad. Yeah, it's not bad. We used to play. Yeah, that's not far from Drexel's field. Not far, yeah. Yeah, but still. There's two.

You go two, three blocks here and there. I see the young Drexel laxers out there, dude. I see them at the coffee shop. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I see the girls. I see the girls team. Soft approach and strange women. Actually, I was at

Saxby's, which is a coffee shop on campus. And the one girl, it was the girls lacrosse team. And they were like, ew, to me. And they were like, no, he's in line. We should let him go. And the girl goes, ew, no, fuck him.

The whole team went in front of me. And I was like, man, fair enough. Then the great fit came out. He actually headbutted that girl. And that's how he got this injury. I was like, fair enough. You guys live your lives. What the fuck is that?

You should tell the coach. Let me go get videotaped spazzing out at a coffee shop. It's my turn, Chris. That'd be so sick. Fucking man that screams at a coffee shop. No it's my turn, Chris. That'd be so sick. Fucking man that screams at a coffee shop. No, get the bagel balls 2.0. Yeah, bagel balls 2.0. Enough with the biting lip.

Whatever happened to that troll? Supposedly he died, but I don't know if that's true. He died? That's fake news. Chris lives, bro. Yeah. Is that his name? Yeah.

Oh, Christ. Damn, the one death that i got really got fucking horned up about was uh this dude uh horned up about no no no he's this guy from kitchen nightmares he killed himself he jumped off to queensboro what the fuck is that deck high bridges are high yeah they're high as fuck. So every time I watch Kitchen Nightmares, there's a new season coming out. Look out for it, Bill. My big cable guy.

No? No, not at all. It's not, Kev. He's streaming. I know, but I'm saying I just... Just tangential to look at dish. So, yes. So he's a chef.

Gordon comes in. He's got a nice family. He's got two kids. The wife. Turns out ever after every episode i go to kitchen nightmares.com has like a super fan yeah well it's you see which ones are still open so as you watch them they'll say open or closed and out of all of the episodes there's maybe a hundred something episodes there's like four he saved right which means it's crazy the

numbers are crazy. They put all this money into each episode. Four percent, right? Yeah, yeah. Seriously, it's something like that. Let's just say there's a hundred. And one of them... What?

He doesn't do anything. What do you mean? The Kitchen Nightmare, dude. Well, it's still pretty impressive because they are nightmares. Yeah. They're failing. They're going to die anyway.

He does what he can and the fact is they can't turn it around. Imagine if you're a surgeon and they're like, dude, all of these guys are going to die, and then you're like, actually, I can save four of them. Pretty good. I guess that's not bad.

There you go. Pretty good. He's a fucking brain surgeon for cooking. Anyway, I looked this story up. But you're getting free advertising. You're getting free advertising for your restaurant. Still nobody's coming in? I would pay.

That advertising's only local. The advertising that comes out is like a year or two after. So they're in the fucking pits. It's an international show. Did you hear what I said? The show doesn't come out until two years after he gets there. Oh, so they're trying to fuck these people over. No, they're trying to get them out of the muck.

No, they're trying to fuck them over because they make the investment in the property and they don't want to lose the money. What if they actually turn out to be good? That's why I don't watch cable television. Dude, I hear you. I't want to lose the money. What if they actually turn out to be good? That's why I don't watch cable television. Dude, I hear you. I would pay to take a pill.

I'm going to try and tell you the good part when the guy kills himself. You know what the good part is? That you exist. Thanks, pal. I would pay money to have this as my thought instead of on the ride up, listening to the New World Order, trying to figure out how to read and listen to shit at the same time. You need a balance. I'd pay. What are you listening to about the New World Order, trying to figure out how to read and listen to shit at the same time. You need a balance. What are you listening to about the New World Order?

I was listening to fucking Anthony Sutton talk about the skull and bones and all the boys, dude. Yeah. All the bushes and all that shit. Yeah, why do you need to know? Who gives a fuck? Yeah. Let's get the perfect water ball. I want people who know the perfect water skimming

ball for our next vacation and we're gonna time our 40s. Fuck all this. And let's get this fucking sex professional on the couch for the Patreon and talk about pussy for an hour. Decompress and get back to fucking reality. I'm sorry. That's my new

world order. That's the order. That's the new world order. What you're talking about is like a week of things to do. No, see, I don't... One week. Waterball's about a six-hour endeavor. Yeah, you just got to keep doing it, though. You got to better the waterball. All right, we're going to jump on the page.

We're going to drain the main anyway. All right, dude. Don't put people in boxes. That's the lesson of the show.