Stuff Island - Stuff Island #94 - We're on the Side of Angels w/ Craig Conant

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

- Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Twice a month Tommy cooks a delicious dish. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en - Follow Craig on IG: https://www.instagram.com/craigpconant/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a non-alcoholic Guinness in there. Maybe it'll trick your body into fucking... Why you got a non-alcoholic? You guys sober? You ain't sober. I've seen the pot. I've seen you. Non-alcoholic?

What are you doing? No, every once in a while I dip into the non-alcoholics, dude. They're nice. I've never had one. I don't even want a drop of it. Sometimes they're nice. I think we got to. Especially if you rotate throughout the night.

If you go a couple non-alcoholics, then a real one, a couple non-alcoholics. Sounds like you got a problem. No, it's actually, you know, I won't talk now. That's bad. I've never had an alky drink non-alcoholic. Be a man. Just go for it. Dude, you got to trick yourself.

No, I get it. Dude, I switch over to mostly hard liquor. I only have one beer and then I drink mezcal and sodas now. Because they go longer. I used to just drink old fashions, but I drink so fast. Like the first two And I get doubles I like the race

How fast can I feel That's what sucks about an early pot with no booze There's no payoff Outside of meeting you Very nice to meet you I'll get through this Ian do you want to grab a couple beers Do you have a card on you

Do I Yeah Do I Get some 40 ounces Yeah yeah get some beers Give me an old English They got these over here You guys got all the ghetto shit

From west coast over here Steel reserve old got all the ghetto shit from West Coast over here? Steel Reserve, Old English, Mickey's? Does it make it this way? Old English, for sure. Steel Reserve. What's Mickey's? Mickey's is just a 40, malt liquor. It's ghetto.

It's big in the hood. And when you're in high school, it's all you drink because you think you're Dr. Dre. Yeah, yeah. And then you grow up and you're like, what was I doing? Dude, in college. Are we blowing good conversation? No. Is it rolling?

We're rolling, baby. We're rolling. This is also the nature of the pod. That's how I roll. People are like, are we rolling? I'm like, for 20 minutes now. Got him. The only problem is we walked in the KFC the first time we did the barstool show

and it's a giant studio and you think i went i always take a piss before we start and he's talking to the boys and they're laughing and stuff and i just said i think we had to cut something because i walked in and said something so outlandish yeah yeah yeah and they're like whoa and i was like i didn't even sit down you You guys got to fucking warn me. It's the very first time I'm in there. Who said that? Yeah, I'm just making fun of somebody. One of the racists. That wasn't me.

No, I think I was making fun of the gays. Probably. Yeah, damn gays. I shouldn't with this shirt on. Yeah. No. Is that a new shirt? And pink shoes.

You got pink shoes, short shorts, and a teal top. First of all, Craig, it's Rose. Pretty gay. It's pretty. Yeah, you got gotta keep guessing. I wish I had this vibe. The chest is out today. It's 95 degrees, Christopher.

Not in here. It is in here. I just got back from the gym. I'm still running hot. You sweat. In weather like this, you sweat for 10, 15 minutes after the shower. You take a cold shower when you get back? I did. Not ice cold.

How many showers do you got to take in these parts? I'm every other day. And over here, I'm like, can I do it? You shower every other day? Every other day? Is that bad? I go every day. You can't tell by our reaction?

Every third day sometimes. Holy shit. No, I mean, yeah. Every third day? Do you ever have the opposite sex in your house? Yeah. Yeah, he's got a lady. A hot lady, too. I mean, yeah. Every third day? Do you ever have the opposite sex in your house? Yeah. He's got a hot lady, too. I bet.

Oh, no, we broke up. Oh, you broke up? It's all right. That's awesome. That's great. I like when... That's great. That is great.

Good for you, dude. Start fresh. I miss her. That'll go away. God damn it. That'll go away. No, it's all right. You carry a little sweet Japanese doll in your bedroom. All that pain go away. God damn. That'll go away. No, it's all right. You carry a little sweet Japanese doll in your bedroom,

all that pain goes away. Yeah. You know? Not a doll, a baby doll. A human doll. The beer's coming. The beer's coming. Still waiting for the engine to turn over.

Dude, I'm telling you. Afternoon pie. You get yourself a little Asian kid in there, you're fine. You're in business. But no, how long were you with her? Four years. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was lonely for a while.

But I kept getting cats. I got four cats now. Four? They fill the void. Holy shit. We keep it clean, though. I bathe them every day. Four cats, dude. That's nuts. They get the void. Holy shit. We keep it clean, though. I bathe them every day. Poor cats, dude.

That's nuts. They get the water. You got to use a hose. Yes. How do you wash a cat? I don't. They clean themselves. They just lick themselves.

No, they don't. They walk in shit. They wipe it off on my bed. They need it into the shit. That is so fucking gross. If you went to my home It's immaculate Yeah I'm not

I can't fuck with cats Are you clean? Are you clean? I'm clean as fuck You surprise me You have a clean toilet You have plants And my home surprises everybody too

Cause they're like This doesn't equate to my home Yeah Being in order Right But I need order Yeah Cause I'm chaos

Same Cause I have it in me, so at home, everything has a place. It's all organized, but the lady didn't organize, so I had to get rid of her. I'm just kidding. No, yeah, she left me, but it's all good.

It is good. I mean, look, there's plenty of fish. You still with her? She's hot. Now, it is good. Yeah, I mean, look, there's plenty of fish. All you got to do. You still with her? She's hot. Wow.

Holy cow. I saw you with her. I said, never let her go. All you got to do is a comic. I see this all the time. It's like they just write a joke about being single now so they can hook up after the show. Yeah, it's pretty brilliant. I've already been doing it.

Yeah. He just opened up going. I've been plowing. Newly single. Girls are like, ah. Especially in LA. Yeah, it's pretty brilliant I've already been doing it Yeah, he just opened up Been plowing No I'm newly single Girls are like Especially in LA They fucking I have a 10 minute bit

How I don't use condoms It's great Really? 10 minutes? No, that was a joke I was just for the camera I suck Maybe 30 seconds

Dude It's not 10 minutes Yeah, you can't use condoms though It's a You do got a sick vibe though It ruins the Ruins the whole. Every time I meet somebody like this, I'm fucking jealous.

Because I'm the antithesis, you know? This is everything I couldn't do. You know my Greek cousin antithesis? His shoes are great. I tried to put those on. They look ridiculous. That's all I wear. I have a uniform.

If I wear something different, I feel out of character. Dude, I'm wearing shorts today. I feel insane on the podcast. Yeah. Isn't that weird? No, it's nice. It's 95 degrees. I don't have my little flannel.

It's too hot for a flannel. Yeah, yeah. You walked in a long sleeve. I was like, you must be dying. Did you drive here? No, I Ubered. Okay, there you go. They're used to this, though.

What? The heat. No, LA is like trying. No, no, no. LA is nice heat. I know it's not humid, but you still wear long sleeve shirts in the summer out there, right? You can, yeah. Is that for like cancer?

No, I don't care about that. No, I don't wear sunscreen. I just, I fucking bring it on. Yeah, I have weird beliefs. Like sunscreen, nah. You don't believe in sunscreen? No, I don't wear it. Let it fly, fly baby why is this

you never saw that that viral video of uh they put that like that lens on the camera that shows the sun UV protection that sounds like the illuminati made that video no dude well it's got me working on it wait what do you think's going on with sunscreen i just don't trust it what what do you think's happening i think there's chemicals in it and I'd rather take the sun. Yeah. I'll take that any day over something made by Procter and Gamble. Yeah. How old are you though? 16? No,

I'm 39. You're going to look real old. You look good for 39. I put a little meth under my eyes. Keeps the skin taut. That's the secret meth yeah

where are you from Los Angeles what part why am I rubbing my face I like it I was born in Harbor City raised in Torrance South Bay

like LA like anyone from one from LA say that's not LA but you don't know where Torrance is do you yeah no

like 30 minutes outside suburbs of LA yeah near the beach they talk shit about that they do that with like philly i'm like 10-15 minutes outside of philly you're like okay bro you know i wasn't um yeah and my family i'm mexican white and it was just very funny to me comedically because yeah i i feel bad because it's but it's true like a lot of my mexican family grew

up in the hood and they went you you know, to gangsta shit. That way. Yeah. And then my white side, like my cousins are on scholarships for golf and rugby. And it's just two cousins in prison, two cousins on scholarships. It's just one's in the hole right now. Do they ever hang out together? A little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. We had good barbecue. Yeah. It was cracking. Yeah. Oh, it was We had good barbecue. Quinceañeras. Yeah. Oh, it was cracking. Fireworks.

How'd they meet? My parents went to high school together. Oh, nice. Yeah, my dad's a wild man. Likes his drink. He's a bookie. He smokes. Well, you can't be saying that.

He got laid off from Northrop. Northrop Grumman? Yeah, like 30 years ago. And then he's like, I'm just going to book. He got laid off from Northrop. Northrop Grumman? Yeah. Like 30 years ago. And then he's like, I'm just going to book. And that's it. And that's my. Damn. We used to go to the.

Isn't that so hard nowadays? It's legal? No, not with old men. He's an old man. They don't know how. They can't. Yeah. MGM.

What is this? They just call him. Yeah. Yeah. On Sundays or whatever. Go to the bar. Dude, that's so fun. But not like mafia style. Nobody's losing their legs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just call him? Yeah, yeah. On Sundays or whatever? Go to the bar. Dude, that's so funny. But not like mafia style.

Nobody's losing their legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does it like I sold weed. Like, if you rip me off, no more weed for you, Tommy. Right, but you're not coming after me. You owe me 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always call back.

Yeah, yeah, this one's 40. You can hit an old... Trust me, I've done that with drugs. Yeah. You can hit an old man with like, come on, have a little class. And that's like enough. You're like, oh, Jesus. I'll pay, I'll pay.

Don't say it again. He's from Boston. Yeah. White, German-English from Boston. And my mom's from LA, but her parents were from Mexico City and Chihuahua. And then I'm just whitewashed. Yeah. But you can't tell.

You got to, it's your accent your whole you're a marijuana plant i know i started at 12 i smoked for like 17 years straight that's awesome and i quit for eight and then i'm back for two it's a long run it's my baby why'd you quit yeah i had to get sober 100 and i just kept getting arrested i don't know you know my whole story i don't let's go dude that's why you're fucking here you think i want to keep talking about your hair yeah this is a hair standoff you just got better hair this went viral first but i i threw my last arrest i threw firecrackers at police officers on horses in Hermosa Beach.

What, so they go nuts? They went, you know, I didn't mean to. It just kind of happened. I was all doped up. Did you think it would be chill or were you mad at them? No, like everybody thinks I maliciously did it. I was so hammered. It was the beach.

It's Fourth of July. It's crowded. And I'm a fucker. I've had fireworks my whole life. My dad had given me at four or five years old. I'm not even joking. He had me sell them in grade school. Like jump jacks? Just firecrackers and ball rockets.

Second grade, I'm selling fireworks. I'm 8. I'm 9. That's a red flag. Fuck the magazine drive. Paper rally. Who wants some bottle rockets? I got to offload these M80s. Put that highlights magazine away, p, yeah. Paper rally. Who wants some bottle rockets? I got to offload these M80s. Put that highlights magazine away, pussies.

We got some gunpowder. Was that your first arrest? That was my third one. I got raided, too, but that was the wrong house. That's another story. I got chaos. You tracked it. And no, I didn't even see them.

People think I did it on purpose. And I lit the firecrackers. I threw them down. And then they're going, crack, crack, crack. And I'm walking this way. And there's a posse of sheriffs on horses over there, about 50 feet. And then I had to go past them. And I do an elongated story of that now, an expanded version.

And yeah, I didn't see them. I was just like where's the clydesdales come from you know and it was and then i ran and they got me and then i went they chased you down on horseback yeah it made three newspapers and uh dude you cut the clippings out? No, I was too sensitive at the time I wanted it to go away But somebody saved them It made the Easy Reader, the Beach Reporter And the Daily Breeze Are they all Pothead magazines?

No, these are local papers That's so funny Someone got a Pulitzer PETA wished death upon me They're sending me death threats No, these are local papers, bro. That's so funny. Made my mom cry. Someone got a Pulitzer. PETA wished death upon me. They're sending me death threats. My tweaker homies that are crazy, they're going to bat. Like, fuck you.

I'll meet you on these streets. Meet me right here. He didn't mean it. It was crazy. All the meth heads love horses? Yeah. No. My buddies were defending me.

You don't know. My meth heads were defending me. The horse people were trying to kill me. Why is meth so fucking bad there? It's bad everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Like, Salt and Sea, they produce it there. Just a lot of desolate desert land where, you know, containers get buried and meth gets made.

Yeah. I figured that's what it was. Yeah. It's not bad here. Meth isn't like a... I mean, it's a thing everywhere. You're probably more Coke town. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you fucking serious? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've been there. I've been there. Dude, that's insane. Yeah. Been there.

Wait, there was one more thing. Oh, I was banned. I was banned from... Yeah. I got banned from Hermosa Pier and Plaza for three years. And because of that incident. Yeah, because where it happened. And I had four charges, assault on the officer, assault on a horse officer,

which is a real charge and more expensive. I'm not kidding. Assault on a horse officer? Because he's on a horse, it's more dangerous. I guess, yeah. I made it in my act, like the silly jokes, like who the fuck made him a cop? But it's true.

Yeah. Like he was a felony charge and more fine. And then possession of explosive devices and detonation of explosive devices. Jesus. But that's okay. That's my whole point for the knuckleheads and the junkies. That planted the seed to get me sober and into stand-up.

And here we fucking are. That was your bottom? Yeah. No, there was a couple more. Just a couple more. The drugs are strong. Did you do it? Holy shit.

I'm surprised Pete is not pissed about cops on horses. Yeah, it's rude. Right? Yeah. Every time I see a cop on a horse, I'm like, this is... Especially in New York City, they're in Times Square. You're like, this is fucking dangerous.

Tell you what I do like. I do like the urban cowboys. The black dudes on horses in North Philly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is nice. I think they feel like they have a good life, maybe. Like the horses or the kids? No, the horse...

The horses are doing all right. I'll tell you that. Yeah, I guess. In comparison to the kids. Three square meals a day. It's like a scumbag getting to prison. The horse is fine. Yeah.

He's got his own little bed. I don't know. Those fucking stalls in North Philly stink. Of course, it's horse shit. Yeah. Ah, horse shit. I mean, you ever go to fucking every farm. Why is that such a funny thing to say? You can't get rid of farms. Stink, you's horse shit. Ah, horse shit. Every farm. You can't get rid of farms.

Stink, you know? There's just cow shit everywhere. Their poop smells better than our poop. Of course. I'll tell you what. Oh, dude. Really? Yeah. You're not smelling your turds, bro? Every once in a while, I get a bad one. Every once in a while, I get a bad one.

But my shit smells decent. Dude, of course you would say that this guy i know it's unbelievable every once in a while especially if i'm like if i'm drinking a lot of ipas i'll get like straight up cat shit yeah it's the sour yeah yeah it doesn't smell that bad no you're out of your mind dude four cats doesn't that like fuck you doesn't that emit like a certain chemical a little amount You're out of your mind. Dude. Dude, four cats. Doesn't that like, doesn't that emit like a certain chemical, a little amount of chemical?

Yeah. Like don't. Yeah. I think I stay sober, bro. Isn't there like a fucking, there's like a chemical that's released. You mean like when women cycle together? Yeah, like those maniac cat, lesbians that have like 10 cats.

It starts to eat their brain and shit and they go crazy. No. You're talking about like toxoplasmosis. I think that's what you're talking about. Well, they don't clean up the poop. I change my litter. Yeah, yeah. I like Nag Champa

incense. You're a fucking weird dude you ever see the episode i'm trying to fight through it you ever see the episode of horrors where the bitch has like a dead cat in one room and then there's cat shit everywhere and the cops come in and she's like hallucinating oh yeah she's got like one tit out and she's saying like weird shit because the gas is hitting her i bet you she has a container buried in the backyard they just find dead animals that's a hoarder i have a clean home i change the letter like every three five days you're on your way though dude four cats is nuts i know what are the ages i don't keep they live till like 17 yeah that's fine yeah they're they're they're uh i don't keep track of that. They live till like 17. Yeah, that's fine. Damn. They're,

I don't do drugs and this is like my way of anymore. I don't do drugs anymore. That's why the cats like fill the void. They're like, I don't want no pills.

I don't like antidepressants. I've been raw dog in life so I look for other means. Yeah. You know, cold showers, cats. That's normal, right?

Every addict has like they get addicted something else yeah yeah yeah a lot of drug addicts and they get in the gym yeah crossfit and shit like that yeah we all cycling yeah yeah we got those yeah yeah yeah we got those you took ours you know what he looks like sebastian maniscalco in a sketch i love as a surfer yeah yeah maniscalco doing a surf doing Doing a surfer sketch. I've been trolling. What happened there, bro? I can't believe he... He got cops on horseback.

It was an accident. No, it changed my life. And then I got raided after that. And then I don't like talking about it anymore, but we're going to just brush over. I guess I try to hook up with a cousin or something. Yeah, that's, come on. I already did that too many times.

You did that too many times. Now, but boy, did I think about it when I was little. No, and then we got sober. I got a cousin I knock around now. Yeah, yeah. What? Were you guys just fucked up in the house? No, she was trying to help me, and I was all fucked up.

I'm on four drugs, and then I was like hey what's up I didn't even know what was what And then my family was there like what are you doing Oh god And then I went yeah The anxiety after that was fucking hell And that time I had a girlfriend too And it was a hottie and there was no

That's why I was like fuck Like you have You have problems. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Every once in a while, I black out real hard. I love how you said the horses, firecrackers, was your bottom, you know? And you're like, oh, I also tried to fuck my cousin.

That's your bottom. Is it? No. Yeah, no, that was the final one. That was like 40 rock bottoms, bro. It takes so many. Yeah. So many. That was my third arrest. What were your drugs of choice? I was a party boy. That was like 40 rock bottoms, bro. It takes so many. Yeah. So many.

That was my third arrest. What were your drugs of choice? I was a party boy. What's on the table? But I like Oxycontin and cocaine at the same time. Speedball. Yeah. And alcohol.

And of course, weed. Always weed. Yeah. Yeah. I was always afraid to drop an Oxy while on coke. Yeah. It's great. No, it's terrible. It's scary as fuck, dude.'s terrible you die lots of people die don't do it yeah yeah i like to go do that yeah i like i just like to go up and down and be like

what's happening the true speedball is heroin and crack right i thought i was heroin and meth heroin and meth i don't know they call it mexican speedball where i'm from but i never i was a dumb enough junkie. I always use this analogy. Like, all my friends were going to the deep end, and I was dumb enough to go, but I held on to the side of the pool. These motherfuckers just kept going. And I was like, guys, guys, I know this is fun, but we got to get out. And when they started shooting up, I was just a smoker and a sniffer.

I peaced out. They shooting up heroin or meth? Shit, fentanyl now. And they're like, some of them dead, some of them in jail. Some of them still doing it, just functioning. Do you ever pass your boys on the street

and they're all... Yeah, no, they're still... They live on the street? No, they just like at home with parents and shit and they and i see them every now and again it's just so dark yeah i'm just like fuck because i got out and i'm winning i got four cats ladies what's up and uh and you know you just see it and you just look at this dark room that could have and would have been you. Yeah.

It would have been me. You go into their den? I was them, though. I lived at home with my mama. That's my whole shit. I was a drug addict. My grandma was on hospice, so I'd drink her liquid morphine, Dilaudid, liquid Vicodin. Whoa.

I say this all the time, but it's a funny joke, but it's not a joke. I would just scratch my nuts with a bristle brush because you get all itchy. And I would just have scabs and pick. and then i had i wouldn't even put sheets on my bed with the meth no this is all of it i was just a druggie so all the chemicals trying to stay in the body i was living at home with mama and grandma and cousin and cousin out of prison and all drugged out, stealing drugs. And that's when the 4th of July happened. I'm like, dude. And then I planted the seeds to get out.

It took like three years because it's fucking narcotics, you know? Yeah. And then that's it. What was the whole point of this? I don't remember. I'm sorry. It's so crazy to me

that people actually do fentanyl intentionally. I didn't know. Yeah, I know. A lot of it's intentional. Some i didn't know like yeah no a lot of it's intentional some of it's not obviously a lot of homies overdose because it was bamboozle real switcheroo so what's the difference between when cocaine is accidentally or purposely from the cartel mixed with fentanyl the amount of fentanyl that's in a deadly dose is differing oh for every person right thank the lord i got out when fentanyl came in.

Yeah. I don't know. That's why I stopped doing it. I never did it. I guess it... I don't know. Good luck, kids. Well, I'm saying like the fentanyl...

Hey, my shit is if God didn't make it, don't take it. And he didn't make fentanyl. Stick to weed and mushies, homies. The fentanyl they shoot up, is that the shit same fentanyl that's laced in the cocaine? Yeah, they're doing dirty tricks. I heard many of different theories. I heard we're not paying off the Chinese, so they switched it with that to overdose and wreak havoc on the country. I've heard the cartels say, hey, you're requesting this.

That's why we're making it. Your junkies are leveling up. And production is in demand. The leveling up is for the heroin addicts that want to feel more- They have a tolerance. As well as dealers. But why is it going into cocaine? I think it's every variable known to man.

I think all the dealers are cutting it with shit. I think the cartel is making it on purpose for demand reasons. And then the fair- I think it's all of it. It's the darkest world ever. And that's why motherfuckers should get out. Well then the fairy. I think it's all of it. It's the darkest world ever. And that's why motherfuckers should get out. Yeah.

Congrats. Yeah. I'll have 10 years in August. And then that's sick. Yeah. You shouldn't give yourself any shit about weed. Weed doesn't ever make you. Like, I know a lot of guys that are heavy in the drugs or used to be. And they tried to drink lightly for a while.

Like, I'll have a glass of wine. That wine turns into a bottle. That bottle turns into calling a Coke dealer. Yeah. That's why I can't for a while. Like, I'll have a glass of wine. That wine turns into a bottle. That bottle turns into a call on their Coke dealer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I can't have a drop. Yeah. Weed's fine. Yeah.

That was my next question, yeah. I can't do none of that because that. Does this bother you? No. Okay, good. I hang out with my daddy. When I wasn't smoking, he'd blow clouds in my face. I told him I was getting sober. I swore on my life. He said, why? Like, he didn't understand. He blow clouds in my face. I told him I was getting sober.

I swore on my life. He said, why? Like, he didn't understand. Yeah, yeah. He just doesn't get it. Well, did he know the severity of what you were doing, though? Oh, yeah. He did?

He said, leave him in jail. Let him learn. And I say, get sober. Why? I'm like, you don't. Yeah, talking to that little sad dude. I love and respect it. He's from Boston.

Yeah, he's just an old school fucker. Yeah, I love this guy. Yeah, he gave me my soldier, you know? Yeah. Let's do the road. 59 cities a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on tour for three years.

You're like, how are you doing? I said it before. People ask how you're doing. I'm surviving. Yeah. I don't know. What day is it? Well, this might be your...

I like being on the road. Me too. I like being on the road. Me too. I like being out there, going around. I do. Well, this might be your addictive nature. That you're like, this is probably, this is your CrossFit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

If you slow down, you might start thinking about the bad stuff, maybe. I don't know. I don't know either. I'm still trying to figure it out. I keep doing ayahuasca, searching healing. I've done it eight times. I'm scared, dude. My buddy said it was life-changing.

It was really great. I need that more than anything. I don't think I can do it. I say we do it at 5,000. I don't know, man. What's 5,000? Patrons. Maybe six because I got a feeling we're going to be jumping soon. I'm scared to do it dude i don't know what if we did it you do wait you gotta get it i don't know if you do cocaine

but just looking at you you do cocaine cocaine with the risk of fentanyl is much more dicey than a plant medicine with the shaman i'm wearing the cocaine costume. You're wearing the marijuana costume. It's so true. I get fucking, my natural personality, everybody, every episode in every show I do, you're going to see a cocaine comment in the YouTube comments.

Like, ran. I was sweating my dick off because it was hot as fuck. I'm patting my nose and there's one dude who's like, that's the drip. He's fucking ripped. And I'm like, I'm not fucking good. At KFC, every time we do the barstool, immediately they're like, this isn't going to help the fans. They're going to say you're on coke.

And I'm like, this is how I act. I'm going to do a test. Well, you do have a weird obsession. I want to do a fucking test on any random. We'll have a cocaine test right here. You're talking over here? You're talking over there? Granted, it might be the years.

Oh, go, go. I'm doing a test right now. Every time. These are my teeth. You do have a weird obsession with your nose. Yeah. Yeah, it's my tick. Yeah.

Like the amount of tissues you go through. He goes through tissues, dude, at a rate that is. He's got allergies. It's crazy. Never mind the little bullet full of cocaine. You don't have allergies. I got allergies. You do not have allergies.

I have got allergies. You have a thing where, like, I don't know whether you think, like, your soul's leaking out of there. I don't know what's going on. I think it's... No, it's super... Like, I get super anxious. And you just...

Well, I drink myself to sleep, and then I drink a giant thing of cold brew in the morning. You need ayahuasca. And then I need ayahuasca. I can't sleep unless I have two bottles of wine. I'll call my mom and I'll be like, I got these symptoms. And she's like, well, do you stop drinking so much at night? And I'm like, no. She's like, you stop drinking cold brew the first thing in the morning on an empty stomach?

No. Then I'm not going to tell you what to do. Until you decide you're going to change yourself and your habits. There's nothing I can do for you. You're going to piss out your ass every time you go dook dook, you know? I can't help you with this diet. Your anxiety is not going to lessen. You know what?

I'm not getting you a script for pills. I don't want to ever take pills. I'd rather be a maniac. I've never been prescribed pills as always for fun and druggy use. That's why I seek other means because I see big pharma and how addictive and the side effects.

I mean, your SPF comment, now I get it. This is awesome. I'll take the sun. What's the ayahuasca trip like? Ayahuasca? That's how they say it. We have a new Patreon level called Look at Dish,

which is a $10 tier, which we're giving more of the cooking stuff. The $5 tier, obviously, you're going to get more than you ever have. But $10 tier is going to... We're doing more. We're still putting cooking stuff on the $5 tier, too. Yeah, if you're not ready for the $10 tier,

it's pretty sick. You did. Chris just did a cooklet yesterday with HelloFresh, and he fucking nailed it. It was very cute, very adorable. Also, we have an episode coming out for the Look at This tier tomorrow. It's ayahuasca.

Whatever. It's got a fucking H at the beginning. Ayahuasca. It's A-Y-A. And then huasca. There's an H in the middle, though. Ayahuasca. There's an H in there.

I've pretty much done every drug known to man. First of all, it's not a drug. It's a medicine. I hate to sound like that hippie dude, but it's just not. You don't do it to get fucked up. That's also made by God, that stuff, right? Yeah. It's like a drug. It's a medicine. I hate to sound like that hippie dude, but it's just not. You don't do it to get fucked up. That's also made by God, that stuff, right? Yeah. It's like a tea.

It's a vine. Yeah. And you're familiar with DMT, right? Everybody is. So DMT is, I believe they make it by man. It's a naturally occurring thing, but the shit we smoke is made by man, and it's 15 minutes. Ayahuasca is a natural syrup. Just boiled, the vine the boiled

down to a syrup you drink it you trip for eight hours my palms are sweating dude no you don't trip it bro it's like i've done acid i've eaten a quarter of mushrooms at 16 years old like i've tripped this is like fucking time traveling truth ast projecting. It ain't hallucinations, dog. It's something else. And you have a shaman. Shaman, yeah. And there's many, many helpers in the circle. I go to a healing circle. As it becomes more trendy, you know, be careful, you know.

Yeah, yeah. Go to the right place. Right. And you, I mean, I hate to sound like this guy. What do you want to do? You co-create with it. You could talk to ancestors, dead loved ones. But it's not so much communication.

It's like energetic feeling. And until you experience it, you're just going to think I'm a nutter. Yeah. I went in judging. I'm a comic. I'm making fun of these fools. I try to turn it into my act, but it's not fun. It's too positive.

They don't want to hear it. That's great. You don't want healing and everlasting love no good bits i feel way better you don't want to fly um but yeah you you get like hive mind like you you experience i loosely believed we're all one like john lennon shit bob dylan shit fucking most religion shit. But I experienced this, and then I was like, oh, we are all one. You know, it just kind of was like fact verification in the hippie spiritual world. That'd be great if you could just get carjacked. You're like, fuck this. We are separate people.

There's different groups that aren't us. We are one. Why do you keep buying guns, Craigig because the armageddon is coming no uh it's just something i truly believe everyone should experience and could experience and and it's like a release like you i've puked on drugs and i puked on drugs, and I've puked on this, and it feels like demons are coming out. You literally vomit maggots. It felt like. It felt like.

And then you look, and you're like, oh, it's not. But when it's happening, you're fighting the devil. But good. I'll give this analogy. I've been trying to encompass. You know how a deep tissue massage can be extremely painful, and're popping that stress knot but then you feel free afterwards yeah ayahuasca is that but for emotional baggage and trauma jesus you you go to town on trauma and it releases and then you're like oh i didn't even know that was just on me man and now i'm free of it. Why isn't this that simplistic messaging is wonderful.

Why don't they do this for treatment of drug? I watch intervention. I'm a master at treating people now. Myself with drug addiction because it's usually something bad happens to them. Rape. Assault. Something happens in life.

People are there to heal from that. Why isn't that part of the I don't know how to say it but like why isn't that more because available because we are ran by psychopaths that don't want real treatment they don't want you to heal they want you to be sick and they want you to write a script they want to get side effects they take another drug and it's a profit system where some person could do ayahuasca and heal after one time. It is like an onion though. Like I thought I was going to be healed

after one, and then one, but it's like, oh no, there's another layer and there's another layer and it's honestly never ending and it's just like

spiritual or emotional work or just, you know, letting go of those past stories. What about the shaman? Do the shaman have to like have a certain number of hours

fucked up themselves? He's done it like 800 times. You can't fly with yourself until you get a certain number of jumps? Yeah, exactly. They had hundreds of times before they could be the leaders of the circle. That's what made me keep going back so much because these people that have done it

800 times have fucking some of them have range rovers and businesses it's well to do smart people i was in there with a fucking judge like all walks of life yeah i'm not naming nobody but i'm just saying like this is the caliber some of these shaman are getting to this level so they can diddle people when they're under the drugs um not my circle, but as it becomes more popular and nefarious fuckers always exist,

I would be aware of that. Traditional circles, men and women are supposed to be separated and there's no touch. So with that being said, if you're in an ayahuasca circle and they're like, hey, rub your neighbor down,

that's ran by a mesh head shaman. Yeah. And get out. Unless that's what what you want so you have to know somebody that's been through this like yourself or like you just google yeah it's like word of mouth yeah unless you go out of the country where it's legal there's weird places where i'm sure it is legal this isn't legal no the states uh-uh i mean i'm sure there's little indian reservations and so on and so forth uh there's this guy advertising on instagram in texas i'm like they're gonna kill you i don't get it but they call it cacao retreat you know and then you drink a different syrup yeah yeah is it native to south amer? It's indigenous to Peru.

It's offered in many, many countries. So is the potato, by the way. I did learn the tomato, too. The potato? Yeah. Tomatoes from Mexico. That's interesting. The Spanish conquistadors, I think.

Conquistadores. Conquistadores. They brought it to Ireland. You don't have to do it for healing, by the way. There's artists in there to get inspiration on what album to write next or painting to paint next. But most people are in there to heal from atrocities. Wow. See, my fear is like when I've tripped a lot on mushrooms. I have a experience that is a deep oneness with everyone. That I am in the, I'm at a crossroads that everyone else has been at.

And that crossroads is a place where you see all these different types of conflicts have almost the exact same characteristic, no matter how small, like if it's like single-celled things fighting with one another. You see the simplicity in everything, right? Yes. It's all the same, just patterns. And I see how impossible it is to communicate any of the solutions to those problems, and that makes me feel very separate from everyone.

And then I, so I'm like, it it's like i see what everyone else is seeing we're all sharing in this thing and none of us can figure out a way to communicate with each other how to fix it so i'm gonna watch hockey yeah yeah i get it no it's i completely agree but you got to be selfish about this for your own happiness. Your goal is not to change the world. I'm scared about going deeper into that, like, feeling the grip, the impossibility of communicating solutions is so painful. Yeah, but dude, look at... I couldn't agree more, dude, because the first time I did it, it was so hard to come back.

I'm like, no, you don't get it. You don't get it. Because you're awake, so to speak, or whatever you call it. You're just come back. I'm like, no, you don't get it. You don't get it. Because you're awake, so to speak, or whatever you call it. You're just more conscious. And then you drink, you smoke, you eat pork, you bareback some, you know?

And then you're just dirty again. And you just want cheeseburgers and don't give a fuck. Yeah, I mean, that sounds good, too. Yeah, I know, I know. I've been rolling with the devil for too long. Well, it feels like the other road is getting obsessed with trying to communicate the idea, which is impossible.

Yeah. I think that's just, you start becoming cult-like and you have to be 100% about that world. More people are awakening, so to speak, where it's like more conscious. You can feel it. We start caring more. We're like, what are we doing? Yeah. We're just always at it. Like we start caring more. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. We just always at war.

We just always kill it. Like, can't we just stop this shit? This dude, we talked about this before, that like a certain level of intellect becomes a prison. Like when you know truly what's going on, this is why the dumber you are, the happier you are. Finding a middle ground where you know what's going on, but you know not to dive too deep into that said pool

and just like chill on the fucking three foot, dude. Finding a middle ground where you know what's going on, but you know not to dive too deep into that said pool. And just like chill in the fucking three foot, dude. Toss a fucking, a waboba around with your boy. I know. Dip into both waters here and there, but just stay your course. You're not going to change the world. Entertain yourself. Love yourself.

We can change the world. Change the world. That's the, that's the, that's the shit. It always started like by one guy grassroots movement. And I agree. Like I used to think going to war. Are you that guy? No, but I'll be part of it. Or maybe Tupac was.

He said that. I'm not the guy to change the world, but I can spark a motherfucker that will. Corny-wise, I think. Or you can change your world. Actually, we are. Because collectively. I said comedically we change lives a little bit. I know that's gay.

No. Yeah. I know it's all gay. First of all... He just pulls his pecker head out right there. Yeah. No, there's someone who wants to wear pink shoes that didn't think it was okay. Rose!

They're fucking rose. No, I... Roses are pink. That little vision came to me because I get all down on myself. Like, do more, do better, do this. But, like, we are on the side of the angels. I stole that from anthony bourdain we're not working for lockheed and halliburton making war machines

we're telling jokes as silly as it may be it may pull somebody out of a depression even if it's not an important joke right there oh yeah the man that's kind of a perfect example they either killed him or he's he just pursued the fix for so long not the fix for himself but the fix for the world yeah and he saw so much on his travels this is what his best friends have said it's like as he the travel show became something so light-hearted and fun then he went to these countries and saw how impoverished they were how much they they need just the simplistic of things, obviously food, and it started wearing and tearing on him, and his depression became so bad he killed himself. But then there's so many other factors in there about his ex.

Yeah, it's a dark world, and I completely understand the ebb and flow, and I've gone down rabbit holes that make you just so frustrated and angry, and then you can't live in there you could visit it to be aware what's going on with these nefarious bastards that just choose profit over human life every fucking day but in ultimately like we go on our path and we do good and that's how we beat them that's something that came to me in ayahuasca like i used to was like war like i got my daddy in me I'm like come here you know like just psycho shit to be honest but now like the war

is like building healing helping like I try to make it into a bit but once again it's positive it's like going to war is like I got an organic farm this is new forms of war I'm gonna get right within I'm gonna have inner peace.

You're going to have the best tale you ever had, motherfucker. I'm going to do a good deed for my neighbor. Yeah, but these bits, you could do a tour of the ayahuasca groups, and they would crush it. It's like a Mormon comic, doing just Mormon jokes. New York and LA were like, what the fuck

is this pussy talking about? Shut up, you fucking dork. Fucking pussy. I'll knock you out, do a line off your face. That is the worst part is that like the insights you have on those trips are so much more nuanced and beautiful and just full.

But everyone's, when you try to explain it, it always winds up distilling you to like we just love each other. And you're like, like fuck that's just not it is what it is but it's not it. But it is true. But it is true. These truths are so simple

and because of that people are like bah. It's like reading a book and then like somebody asks you what it's about like three months later and you're like just trust me you gotta read. It's about this girl. I don't want to give away too much. Meanwhile, your head's going, fuck. You're just pulling receipts going,

what the fuck was she doing? I don't know. But damn, it moved me. Yeah. Mostly just visuals. Like when I do like mushrooms and shit, like it's profound to a certain, I remember having a breakthrough with a personal situation.

I took a hero dose of mushrooms. And the first like 10 minutes, 15 minutes, it started like really fucking me up. And then I had a breakthrough when I was like spaced the fuck out. And I don't know. I'd never done ayahuasca. But it was like personally, the whole demon and maggot thing was what it was for my brother's situation. And I came out with peace. But then the second half of that dose was fucking hell.

Like I was watching. I always put on Animal Planet. Yeah. Because I can just watch. And the second half of that, I couldn't get up. I couldn't move. I was sitting here in a blanket. When you need a hero dose, you never can move.

Yeah. And I have to. I was on a park bench for six hours you need a hero dose, you never can move. Yeah. And I have to. I was on a park bench for six hours. That's the heroic part about it. My ass is numb. You're putting your ass all out in the public on a dark night. But no, so it just kept flipping episodes.

So at first it was like, oh, cool. These animals are just like us and they're helping each other out. And then it gets to like episode four and it's just about hunting. And dude and they're helping each other out. And then it gets to, like, episode four, and it's just about hunting. And, dude, they're just clawing apart. It's just a lioness eating the neck of a fucking, you know, an animal. And I'm like, I couldn't get up, and I'm screaming in my head. And it's just fucking hell. Go to the beach, man.

I should have. You start reciting those fucking thin red line quotes in your head where it's like, is our suffering help the grass to grow? The sun to shine? What is this evil in the heart of man? Have you passed through this night? It's like, dude,

that's the stuff you just... I love how you have a Rolodex. Thin red line quotes. That's what happens. That's what starts spilling out. It's with Mel Gibson, right? Too Many Mushrooms. Classic movie. No, no. It's Terrence Malick.

Which one's with Mel? No, Mel's in that. Yeah. No, Mel Gibson's on Thin Red Line. Thin Red Line. Oh, he's in the... What's the other Vietnam movie he's in? He's in...

Look it up. I don't know. There's the one where the guy's like... I think he's in that. I think he's in that. He's not. If he's in look it up i don't know there's the one where i think he's in there i think he's in there he's not if he's quoting it i think he might be right but i still feel like i've seen mel gibson no everyone else dude i saw mel gibson at the usc fight night with shane who we were soldiers i was right it was when i saw mel he was like right there And I was just like I just want to fucking say hi to him You're a hero I mean minus the other stuff Everything

Yeah yeah I mean your first Yeah I liked your first term Of your career Dude but he's such a fucking maniac now I hate that they all turn fucking insane But that's what Hollywood is

That's why I'm so scared to go to LA LA is disgusting to me No fun Just go by the beach Yeah Yeah I mean that's the idea Yeah live That's why I'm so scared to go to L.A. L.A. is disgusting to me. No offense. Just go by the beach. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's the idea. Yeah, live by the beach. You need a lot of money. No, you don't. I live by the beach. Yeah, Venice, dude. Venice is a good place. Yeah, my buddy Terry

lives out there. Yeah, yeah. Shout out TD. Yeah, it's the shit. He was always like you, and he went to our high school. This kid, Terry Diamond. Yeah, Terry Diamond. Yeah, Terry Diamond. What a great name. Dude, he's the man. Sounds like a law firm.

I hope he never does that. Stay on your surfboard and out of law firms. And this kid had your look from high school, which was like crazy, because they all looked like us, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always one of us. Philadelphia. And the family and the friend group in the school.

I know that guy. Dude, he started growing his hair out like sophomore year, and he just had this fucking chill vibe. And I was like, what is this kid about? He was the fucking man. Goes west, starts surfing. Now he's the lead designer for Quicksilver. Nice.

Yeah, dude. So I hang out with him every time I go to Venice. It's something that's in a few people like people like how long you had long hair for like 30 years now and but i have i did it before it was cool then when it was cool and then when it's kind of not that this is like guys with tattoos yeah like i did all the you earned it yeah yeah some people just do it for a costume since the 90s bro it's such a risky look i just always know in high school it just always was like a fuck you you mentioned we switched haircuts how fucking ridiculous we

would look like stupid i know so would you that's a problem chris no but that was that fucking cocaine is an issue here this was like a conscious thought i remember like just coming out of the ocean like oh fuck i body surf dude this was like a conscious thought. I remember like... Just coming out of the ocean like, oh, fuck, I body surfed. Dude, this was like a conscious thought I remember having in high school because I would hang out with a... Like, my buddies looked like you,

but then I would be like, dude... That's lacrosse white stuff. I can throw firecrackers at a cop and get away with it. Yeah, you can. No. Because you're a hair. They always...

It's a trap, dude. You can do all the crazy shit you want to do. I'm not cornrows, dude. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying... You think you're getting pulled over because you've got long hair? I did. I did.

You know how much more stuff I get away... Yeah. No, I try to... You can get away with so much more if you look like you're trying to go to business school. Oh, my God. Every time I got pulled over, where are the drugs? And I'm like, God damn it. How did you know?

That was the whole bit. But it's true. I got pulled over so much. But, God damn it. I don't know. That was the whole bit. But it's true. I got pulled over so much. But I'm from LA. I always had weed. Where are the concentrates? Where's the narcotics? That's where they get you.

A real charge. Yeah. But I always had a Heideki and I put cocaine and pills and put it on your engine blocker and your bumper. So unless they have a dog sniffing dog, no charges, homie. Wait, because he can't. Unless they have a dog sniffing dog. Yeah. They're never going to find shit in the hide a key in a bumper unless they got

dogs and you're a tart like they they know yeah they know right I've heard those dogs don't work yeah I don't think they do yeah I've heard that they're like mostly just responding to the the master you know yeah he's that get him but he's like the guy managing the dog is giving heavy there's something in the bumper vibes. You don't watch Border Wars? And then the dog is like, there's something in the bumper. You know, and he's like, we're taking your bumper off.

And then they catch you, but it's like, I feel, I think like most of the time they take your bumper off, they don't find anything. They don't put it back on? They're just suspicious. Do they do that shit when they find something suspicious in your bag, they take all your fucking lingerie and dildos out, they're like, pick it back up, you're fine. Yeah, yeah, you gotta figure that out.

And you're like, well I'm gonna miss my flight now. Yeah. No, that's what they do. Just repacking all your sex toys. You ever see a woman take out a sex toy when they get their bag searched? No. I seen it once. I think I seen it one time.

Never forgot about it. In all my travels, yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. This woman, she had like, she brought like a bottle of something that was over the ounces. And the guy was taking it out. It was just a big old fucking dildo. It wasn't even a vibrator.

It was a big fucking rubber wall slap dildo. She's like, I want to travel with this. Because it has a flavor or something. It's like, get one wherever you go. It's a $15 ass piece. Also, maybe a smaller one. Yeah. It's a weapon. That's why I never forgot it. It's a $15 ass piece. Also, maybe a smaller one. Yeah. Wow, that's why I never forgot it.

If it was a little buzz buzz, you know what I mean? I'd be like, ah, sex is fine. You got to feel for it. She's got a big fucking mounted horse cock. Is that for two? You got to feel for a little bit if it's one of those center zipped suitcases, which is like she thought she put it on the bottom, but then I'll zip it upside down and it's right in the top.

Surprise! Dude, it's right in the back. Surprise! Dude, it's like a snake flying out of a Pringles can. Fwag! Is this your bag? Gah! You know how they're like, is this your bag?

And she just walks over like fishnets and heels. That's not my bag. That's not my bag, but that's my dick. I'll be back in a minute. Dude, I've had it She just walks over like fishnets and heels. That's not my bag, but that's my dick. I'll be back in a minute. Dude, I've had an incident like where a beard trimmer's gone off in the bag.

Yeah. My bag's just like... I try to get it out and show people. For my face, not my ass. But the one... And the Manscaped Shimmer does look good. I just thought about this. Dude, shout out Manscaped for making a dildo and a beer shiver. It is waterproof. You can slap a condom on a manscape Jamming up your ass

It's multi-purpose Oh my god Hey why is there shit on the back Of your fucking My cats My cats man I dropped it They sit on my shaver

You don't believe in dog sniffing dogs You should get a dog named sunscreen Oh horseshit Man that was fun shaver you don't believe in dog sniffing dogs you should get a dog in the sunscreen oh horse shit and that was fun shit we never even finished the full mushroom talk no but mushrooms uh yeah no that's a healer too bro but i feel like it isn't i feel like uh mushrooms can be fun or healing where ayahuasca is kind of just healing, you know? And also to heal off mushies, you got to do what he did and take like a fucking hero. Yeah.

And it's like, yeah. And I've done that. Like, it doesn't feel... Healing? The intention and ceremony, not to be that hippie guy, but it's like, what is your intention? If you're eating it to go to the Dodger game, you're not going to fucking heal, doc. Yeah, yeah. If you're eating it to get right within and go to the beach and pray and meditate then there's a strong possibility

true true i think like yeah i guess in my experiences i've never i've never done it that way i've never done it in a like sit down like me neither mushrooms never i so it's it's always been enlightening but not healing you You know what I mean? I think there's some experiences I've had in there that have deeply affected me as a person and the way that I think about other people. It's new introspective thoughts. You never thought that way before.

Is that correct? Yeah. No, there's a certain amount of like the way that your mind falls apart on that drug i think at least for me has made me very aware of how fragile the mind is and how how many different ways it can break so when you see someone else like struggling with something or behaving a certain way there's like there's a lot more empathy than rage towards them because you just know that a brain can crack yeah and you know they're all fucked up yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah so you're saying like it like an NBA's

star's ankle that has a tiny fracture, it's going to snap one day. You think your head's going to just become crazy if you take another trip? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was saying that the hero dose of mushrooms has, like the way that it's unwound my mind and deconstructed parts of it has made me keenly aware of how fragile a mind is so when I see someone else struggling with yeah yeah makes me more

empathetic I think I otherwise would have been I just read a lot of stories about these dudes like ripping the heads of their dicks off and shit going to I just saw one some kid was on psychedelics has ripped the head of his penis off I'm gonna say he wasn't in a good place yeah well this is why ayahuasca has a shaman right yeah because that i mean i imagine the shit that they go through yeah you you uh somebody wig the fuck out no not yeah but it can't happen no that doesn't happen oh yeah let me talk about misconceptions because everyone's scared of this shit you don't fucking vomit like you think you do. And they call it purging. And I made fun of that until I did it.

And you're like, oh, no, that's purging. Like, it's just different. It's a lot coming out. I've done it eight times and I've puked only twice. Okay. And after the first time, I was, like, sweet and beautiful. And it was a release. And then the next time, I was like, did the devil come out of me?

I can't do this again. I quit. So it's every. And then you don't poop your pants. Nobody shits their pants. I was almost welcoming it just because I need new material. And I was like, this is a story. And you're in complete control. It's like you're in the dream meditative state. And then if you're tripping too hard, just open your eyes.

If you're that scared, go to the bathroom, turn on the light. You sober up. It's not like it's more. And if your brain is too strong If you're that scared, go to the bathroom, turn on the light. You sober up. It's not like it's more. And if your brain is too strong and you think too much, it's not going to necessarily work that well on you. You got to let go. But it's still introspective and you'll get something out of it. It's kind of like mushrooms when you said you're taking it to have fun, but you still get something. Yeah.

It's similar. Like if your brain's too strong, you're still going to get something out of it. Well, I've done that hype where you're going on a walk in the woods. If you're an onion, he's a jawbreaker. He's going to have to go 80 times, dude. You've got so many fucking layers, dude.

This coming from the guy at 1pm. Give me a beer. I can't function. First of all, I'm right in the middle. You're a job breaker too, bro. What are you, the mini gobstopper? I'm the kid's version. I'm sorry.

What were you going to say? You got to be worried about paranoia. Paranoia is your... I'm paranoid talking about it. Yeah, yeah. You're like... But that's what I'm trying to say. It's all healing, bro.

It's all love. It's all... What do you say? When he trips, he gets paranoid as fuck. Well, we took penis envy in Houston. Those are strong. I lost my fucking mind. Yeah.

He was my shaman for a while, but then I convinced my... No. No, he was good. There's the problem. You need a shaman that looks like this, bro. No, he took me to a strip club. It was fine. I did.

I also got a strip club. Didn't find enlightenment. I don't know why. Hey, Bubbles, come here. No, I fucking, I started convincing myself that we were chasing these two fat guys because he was like getting drugs from them. And I was like, I was in a different world. The first like 15 minutes, it was a video game.

It was so intense. It was so awesome. It was like Tron was in a different world. The first like 15 minutes, it was a video game. It was so intense. It was so awesome. It was like Tron. Yeah, yeah. Like every light that was going by me was like traced. And it just stayed there for a while. And it was like, I was walking through. I felt like I was just animated.

Like I felt like I was thrown into a video game. Yeah. And it was wonderful. Yeah, that happens. And then it ended with me walking, like pacing like a line in the center of the fucking hotel room. Yeah. For three hours, that happens. And then it ended with me walking, like, pacing like a line in the center of the fucking hotel room. Yeah. For three hours, four hours. Yeah, if it ain't for you, I mean, just microdose.

That shit's heavenly, bro. Yeah. You just take a little bit. It kind of quiets the mind. It's chill. You're not tripping. You're functioning. Yeah, we did that in Florida.

We took, like, four little pills every day. Yeah, yeah. You just take a pill or two. It's like sunset, the beach. And it's just super non, you're not tripping. You're just like, you know. I'll do that. I promote that instead of fucking head meds.

Motherfuckers on all these pharmas that give them crazy shit. They switch medications. They kill themselves. All they got to do is eat a fucking mushroom, you know. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. I feel like our fans are going to like this.

Yeah. It's a lot of good tips. This is the zone. I'm not saying don't do drugs. I'm just saying do the drugs that come out of God and cow shit. It is so funny. It's true.

We sell a lot of mushroom bars on this fucking show. We do. We got a mushroom lady. You want a mushroom bar? Yeah. We got gummies too. Yeah. We got tons. You got gummies, too. Yeah. Oh, these are... Oh, my.

Oh, wow. Yeah. No, these are great. These are fucking great. Yeah. I knew I loved you guys. Your fucking best podcast ever. Oh, my God.

Yeah. I just take all of them. He's like, no, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. Dude, look at this. We got, like, Fourth of July guys in here. Check this out. Oh, we got the spray.

Mushroom spray. For your throat? We got these. I just do this and miss all my shows tonight. I was trying to get in New York. Dude, look what I got for you. Penis scent. Oh, that's.

Oh, my God. That's years old, by the way. I don't know. You got so much. This stuff is fresh. No, uh... This is brand new. That's so much.

I think we have enough here, sir. My heavens. Oh, yeah. So much stuff. Shout out Cookies by Carol. Yeah, dude. Look at that haul. Always, always hooking it up.

Isn't that a nice haul? That's amazing Yeah I love this shit And we switch flavors Every time we dose But I want a sour apple That's my shit That's actually

You should keep this away from me Yeah Yeah this is perfect The micro dose and gummies They're phenomenal Or you just eat a little nibble Good luck out there soldiers I know it's a wild world

Those head men's ain the best. You know it's true. Yeah, it is funny watching that Tom Cruise interview where everyone thought he was out of his fucking mind. And now he looks, like, pretty good. Why? Because he was on mushy's? No, he was promoting natural medicine and not pharma. They just had him on, like, in

an interview with, like, Matt Lauer, who now is not looking so good. Not a good guy. he's a shaman of diddles yeah yeah he was judging yes the wrong thing button under his desk that locked the door damn any any guy that's like super nice and like charming like that they're fucking evil inside true they're always hiding something i love that i never trusted those fools that are always happy like where is it yeah Yeah. You doing? Yeah.

Nobody's Ned Flanders. Not yet. Where's your darkness? Yeah. Dude, I love Ned Flanders was jacked. That reveal was wonderful, dude. Yeah. Him and Groundskeeper Willie both fucking ripped out of their mind with an eight pack.

That was my dad. First time I saw my dad with his shirt off. He was ripped? At like 55, dude. Yeah. All he does is fucking rip heaters, drink Miller High Life. You and my dad should hang out.

Dude, as soon as you talked about your dad, I just saw Steve. MGD. Bush original. 100%. That's what I grew up in high school. He drank Bush and Coors and MGD. He went Michelob for a couple years,

which was shady. He never did that. I think that's when he started. My dad's not gay. He would never do Michelob. Those shorts are making more sense now, huh? That's my dad. He's the man.

MGDs, dude. Yeah. Those were in heavy rotation. Well, next time you come, we should just do a whole pod ripped on mushies. We haven't done that yet. No, we haven't. Well, we tried to once, and you had to quit. Remember?

Oh, God. As soon as it hit, I quit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I didn't eat, and I took like four pieces of chocolate. Yo, these are peanut butter and jelly. Yes, dude. They would love each other. Yeah.

These are peanut butter and jelly gummies. Look at that guy. These are the ones. Oh, shit. That's a man who beats his children right there. Brought that fish home and just clubbed you this will be this will make you tough for the road 30 years later you'll understand what do you got to plug my friend uh craigconant.com touring like a son of a bitch my podcast community service podcast of course i would love to have you gentlemen on Craig Conant dot com touring like a son of a bitch. My podcast, Community Service Podcast.

Of course, I would love to have you gentlemen on together or solo whenever you're in Los Angeles. Hit me up. You got them right on the beach. Come meet my cat. I'll bring some falls. Yeah. And she's going to be. Yeah.

I don't know when this comes out. I'm at Governor's Friday tomorrow. Oh, yeah. No, I'm all over. Craig Conant, baby. Look me. He was a governor. Yeah.

Are you sticking up for the page sure yeah hell yeah fuck yeah see you on the other side