Stuff Island - The Reunion Pt.2 - Stuff Island #213

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope reunite Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians For a limited time, Ridge is having their huge Holiday Sale. Head to https://www.ridge.com to GET UP TO 47% OFF your order. This is by far the biggest discount they’ve given all year! That’s https://www.Ridge.com for up to 47% off. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you. #ad Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/knz4su0l] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. #ad To get 15% off your next gift go to https://www.uncommongoods.com/stuffisland or 15% off! Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer. Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. #ad SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I think so. We'll figure it out. What was that? What? You got Puerto Ricans out there? I don't have any... What? Is it something I did?

I don't hear any Puerto Ricans. You didn't have a fucking... A trike? Fly by? It went like... That wasn't you? Oh, yeah, probably. Yeah, we were...

Yeah. That's just a fucking night noise? for you. It's all numbed down. Dude, yeah. We're in like, yeah, we're on the edge of creation in Westchester here. Yeah. Westchester's bigger than I thought it was.

I didn't realize that there's like weird, sketchy parts of it. It's like so nice and it's one of the weirdest towns I've ever been in. It goes from like a cute little town to like super nice suburbs to like fucking hick shit. Yep. So fast. And then there's, like, there's weird public housing there, too. There's some, there's a lot of riffraff floating around. Then there's, like, abandoned minivans holding Mexicans for the mushroom farms.

I guess they call them motels out there. I don't know. Dude, yeah. I wonder what's happened. I wonder if the mushroom industry is suffering. Why? Oh, from ice? Yeah.

Yeah. They're cracking down. Yeah. They probably took a helicopter over all those farms and you started spraying the boys. Dude, my dad, uh... It is funny. Every time you're in a restaurant and you see, like, a Mexican work and you're like... Yeah.

Hang in there, bud. Yeah, you got to keep that boy safe. Hang in there. I got you. You got to throw some white face on that, dude, because he's your lead kitchen cat, dude. I would put him in a costume every day. You know? Put him in a fucking Jason

Masked on Halloween for two weeks Go on. Die your hair blonde. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you're hiding from ice, you've got to get into the festivities.

Yeah. It's a hotel holiday. He's in a big leaf costume. He's like, yeah. Fall is coming around the corner. He's a pumpkin patch. He's a pumpkin patch. He's a big pumpkin patch.

He's a big pumpkin patch. He can't get to the night to the food. He's in a giant pumpkin. yeah my parents 100% I'd be wearing one of those things were like you know

like the the top half is a chicken and the bottom half is something else or whatever just in a big gummy outfit

I don't care what it is they come in like what's up with that guy I'm like hey he's festive you know yeah he just loves the holidays

my yeah my parents live closer there and for like two and a half three months it just smells like horse shit cow shit

sorry the mushroom farms they blasts the hot fucking beef air you know it catch you can't go outside for like a barbecue because it just smells like the inside of a urinal just truffles just shit truffles truffles are a delightful scent i mean like a porta potty i'm sorry i said urinal i mean like at the fucking eagle stadium type the day after in a hot right nfc championship nmc championship diurea bowl yeah my dad started uh he started growing weed by accident as he says he uh yeah he slipped and fell he slipped and fell planted pot it was fucking marijuana seed in his nostril and he sneezed to the earth i know that was so funny you tell me that your dad but it was an accident it's like it's a pretty

involved process yeah yeah yeah you can't accidentally make cocaine it's not like you put too much baking soda. He's weed-whacking cocoa leaves. He's like, well, if they wouldn't stop. He wouldn't stop. And then I've got to collect the leaves. I got to press them. You know, I've got to get the fucking gas on him.

But he said he put it along the tree line. A little gasoline would cut it nice. He put it along the tree line to hide from, they do little biplanes out there in Westchester and like Goshen County and... To hunt for drugs? Marijuana farmers. Yeah, because there's so much mushroom farming

You can hide like, you know, an acre The stink. You can hide the stink, yeah, a little under the brush So he put a plant underneath the tree line Which was only like a mile and a half From where these farms were And he's like, it's just got out of control It's something they could do

Thing was fucking six feet by the time I turn around I'm like that That's not how it works It just keeps cooking Oops all berries is that a captain crunch reference dude oops I'm a drug lord

yeah well that's how I found that I told you I think I told this story before but I went up there to help him and he was working I was staying with him on like I don't know a break for college and I was like I can help you cut the lawn

because he had like an anchor and it was before he had the riding mower it was just doing a push mower for this hole I was like it's a lot of fucking work for your age dad he was like 65 70 and I started like cutting under the tree line I couldn't find the weed whacker and I bother him at work and he was like

oh what do you want what do you want and I was like dad I can't find the I can't find the cord for the weed whacker and he goes it's in the garage come on fucking figure it out and then hung up on me I went in the garage I find the cord inside the cord is a giant acme bag filled with like an incredible amount of

fucking weed like I don't even how to say ounces or pounds I don't know but I'll say a couple pounds of fucking buds that's when he told me

the tree story and I thought he got a shit together because I was like are you are you selling to your friends like and he goes I don't know what the fuck can do with it you know just don't tell your mother

that's that's all I need you to do it that's beautiful yeah what even better excuse time I had to get it off the property yeah well the reason my hands are tied here

I come across a quarter acre it was like he found a fine censumia like going to fucking Miami and a kilo of Coke getting floated right to your feet and go I gotta do something might as well put it in the garage

next to the weed whackers like he's out fishing and just finds a kilo floating I wish he was in the fucking Coke anyway he he did it purposely because my mother stopped walking out on the lawn

because of the undulation and, you know, her fucking bad hips and knees. She just got a knee replacement. She's getting another one. But she walks like a, like a, you know, like a minionette. Her fucking knees just go sideways everywhere. Right, right.

You know, like an old Labrador. She could just drop down steps in a heartbeat. So then he got ballsy and put he had this little garden in the middle of the lawn that just had chicken wire around that and he would grow peppers and tomatoes and all that. And dead center in the fucking middle of this thing With an eye shot of the back deck You just you could see the marijuana plant

Growing way above everything else You can see the leaves And I go again with this and he goes Look, same thing It got out of control Your mother can't get out there let alone see it Just shut your fucking mouth Because at his age

He's trying not to work anymore He's not working as he can't ask a fucking You know Can't ask a co-worker, hey, can I get some grass? He still calls it grass. They're all going to think he's an undercover cop, so he's got to grow his own fucking shit.

That's old school. They should go back to that. Yeah, just grass. Yeah. Some people never leave it. That's what we got them for Christmas. We got them a box of cigars, little nippers of Crown Royal, and DeCirono. And then there was a little package.

My girl brought hand-rolled joints. just to drive in DeSirono? Taco Bell Power Pack, for sure. For drunk drug lord, dude. And he goes, oh, cool, what's this? And I go, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad. Don't open that yet.

He starts opening it. And he sees it's all pre-rolled joints of like the good shit, the stuff that he can only have a couple of hits on it. My mom comes bopping around the corner, of course, the worst time. She goes, what they get you, Steve? and he goes, ah, nothing, nothing slams the thing and just runs downstairs,

hides it in one of his little nooks. She's like, she's like four, six, so she can't fucking reach anything. Nothing suspicious about that. Yeah, nothing. Just go down, watch some TV. Dude, that fucking Marionette thing, maybe. I went to the Rock Cats last night.

I'm sorry for starting with all that dog. No, no, no. Tell me about the Rock Cats. I went to the, my niece was singing. Open it up, open it up for the Rockettes. Damn. That's like us with Chene, dude. She's probably feeling that pressure in the round.

During the Rockettes, there was a guy on stage, a tiny man. And my lady leans over and goes, is that a midget or a little kid? something about like as soon as I looked at the guy you know the way midget's arms like swing like they're like yeah disproportionate but they swing in kind of like a yeah a way that a little kids yeah they're completely disproportionate right

I mean their shoulder hinges are they're soldered they got a they can't rotate they just flop they're like fish fish gills it really is dude it is they're like fish

that whatever that fish was that started like walking on land yeah whatever they're called yeah whatever that one is it's that one fish like snake heads or whatever that crawl from like lake to lake it's like that dude the way this guy's arms

was straight as soon as I looked over I like I was howling laughing it was your funny was your what you said your niece was singing. Were you laughing while she was singing? No, no, no. They were just, they just opened it up.

Oh, okay. They just get the, they just get the party started. Oh, okay. So this is like their true rockettes. Yeah, yeah. This was like the rockette, rocket, yeah. New York City. New York City, radio city, baby. Oh, that's the fucking big leagues. And your, your niece and her her local crew from what, Connecticut, they just opened up for one? Yeah. That's huge.

Yeah, it was nuts. She, she handled it in typical O'Connor fashion. I was like, that was crazy. What was it like? I missed a note. I missed a note. I missed a note. Son of that bitch.

Yeah, it was nuts. Yeah, that's great. Well, what's the... The Rockets? Was it a midgett? It was totally a midget. It was a little... Yeah, the guy had a beard.

Yeah. It was crazy. Wait, was he in the warm-up or the actual Rockette? He was in the actual Rockettes. Oh, good for him, dude. He was making toys with Santa. Yeah. For real.

Really? Yeah. Oh, I thought they can't do that shit anymore. You got a green screen those little creatures. No. It is so funny. It's offensive to have them in reality, to have live action midgets. Imagine how fun that casting room, you know, prior to.

They're all just waiting. We're like, uh, All right, well, we'll take William. Williams coming up next. The door opens, he walks, and they're all like, just trying not to lay him. Go ahead, William, do you think? They've got to have, like, different levels for them to, like,

hop to. That's got to be the audition. Whoa, what do you mean? Like, I mean, that's really all they do in the show is they, like, no, I'm talking about the midgettes. in the show. They just kind of hop. They hop from like one level to another.

You know, it's like... Like Mario Brothers. Yeah, it's kind of like... Most of what they make them do is just like... It's like NFL Combine stuff. He is an athlete. I don't know this LP, but he's an athlete.

His LP is an absolute. absolutely athlete he was hopping around he was hopping around they make them carry bags and stuff oh man flip a tire he's running he's catching balls

damn well weren't there like a gaggle LPs or just one no they just they sprinkled them in they had some genuine like little kids in there I don't know whether they couldn't find enough for it's still perfectly holiday

sprinkle them in you got sprinkling your LPs yeah some glitter some tinsle how many in total I'm dude I'm fascinated with the LPs at the Rockettes I'm glad listen this is

I'm dead serious I'm glad they're still getting work because on the big screen that's no more there's too many there's too many white women that don't shouldn't have a say are saying this is inhumane and you know we're torturing the

LPs and we're doing we're doing wrong by them by mocking them on screen and it's like no hire them we need these guys yeah get them ripping right some LP stories yeah there should be there's no LP docs I

I mean they had like whatever the LP version of John and K plus eight was. Didn't they have like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was where everyone found out that you could like... It's like multiplying negative numbers. You get two LPs together.

They can make a regular guy. I love that. Roll the fucking dice. Yeah. It's also where I found I was sexually attracted to an LP. Was that show? Yeah. I thought that was on the streets of Astoria.

You got... No, that was... You got blasted. I watched that show years ago. Yeah. Yeah, so there's... Like you said, there's levels of LP. You can get LP with a true L.

body and a normal head. I know. I'm on the spectrum. Yeah. Let me tell you some, dude. You are a bully to the LPs, dude. If you walked in, you're like, oh, it's just Thor, dude. You are Thor.

It's like one of those things where you don't know if I'm an LP until you, like, I turn around and you see my face. Yeah. Yeah, that girl on a story, man, she was thick. she had a perfect ass just a big thick dump nice thick top and then a beautiful normal fucking head um it wasn't like that's rare yeah it's very rare even if they have a normal face they usually have that korean skull you know that easter island head that really throws you off and i think that's where they get their fucking their buns they get big thick asses from balancing that

fucking the weight of the back of their head because I'm surprised they're not like more like fighter pilots that are LPs. Yeah. Yeah. They'd be good gunners and like World War II. This is a tiny little cockpit. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, a little like glass shield. They put them in the back of the fucking bombers, the B-52s. Yeah. Super hard to hit, you know. Yeah. Well, it's come through the fuselage. It's like there's not much to hit. I think they should have been in World War II

on like those big those big bombers, you know, in one of those guns, one of those like little whatever those little like hubs were? Yeah, I just said that. Is there a lag? No, no, no. I heard you say it, but you didn't identify which war. I said World War II.

Oh, you did? Oh, my bad. Yeah, okay, the invasion of some country, is that what you want? I don't know. I can't just blanket statement, the LP in the back of the B-52 bomber? you got to know what plane they're in you know we keep pushing these in because when you laugh it's they come out they come out yeah you got i got the new i got the new ones too which i thought had like a memory foam fucking yeah nub on them say and they don't they don't i i also bought

i bought us a pair of those memory foam attachments and they work for a bit but like once you even at the gym much like laughing hard when you you you know Squeeze for a rep bumps. And then it splits from the piece. And you got to walk around. Yeah, dude, it's disgusting. It's why I got infections. I just pop it right back in.

I don't fucking care. You know, the floor of a fucking gym that hasn't been cleaned in 60 years. This must suck for you, Josh. You can't hear anything. We're just having a blast talking about midgets and you're over there playing video games. It's just a one-sided conversation.

Is he playing video games over there? What's he playing? He seems like he's playing video games. he's on his phone Candy crush what are you playing candy crush the deadliest game yeah the most dangerous game

Instagram is the most dangerous game you just look at other lives you wish you were living yeah it's all facade I perused I perused the Instagram posts of fucking thanksgivings of people

I'm like dude I've met you that party wasn't good you suck yeah you know that plate of food looks like dog food your uncle's idiots your uncle's got a wonky eye I know that wasn't a good hand there's man of Shevitz on the table you weren't having a good fucking time delete the post

do they have that is one is that one of the new features in like some of the the Apple photo software where it's can you can you correct the wonky eye if you have a lazy eye that's a great idea you can get rid of someone in the background can you can you straighten a wayward a wonk eyeball yeah he'd have to send it to a professional go can you fix uncle dan's fucking wonk no there should be like a little meter you can like drag it just it's like bright this just just the other one the other one goes yeah but then he's

getting unsolicited messages from all his friends on facebook going you look great don he's I didn't do that. He shows back up to the VFW. He still looks like shit. Dude. You die your hair? You tie your hair. I feel like I've lost.

I feel like I used to be good at keeping track of the good eye. And now the last couple, like, lazy-eyed people I've been chatting with, it feels like the eyes bouncing back and forth. Yeah. You know, like it feels like they're switching main eyes. Yeah, you're playing pong the whole time. You're watching someone. You're watching someone play bong.

But also, I think the slight adjustment for you following the good eye and the LPI is, it's not as grand as you think. You know, your subtle movement is, you know, once, I don't know, you ever, you ever go, you ever go from looking at the wonk eye to the good eye. If you lock in both, yeah, that's crazy. Once I'll turn your whole fucking head. This episode is brought you by Cash App. You obviously know it from Stuff Island. Chris, you've used Cash App. We've used it together.

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looking at another girl's ass. Yeah, yeah. It's just, yeah. That's what you should do. When you go from the bad eye to the good eye? Yeah, you should treat it like when a hot eye. And it looks like they've been looking at you the whole, like it's literally like,

just waiting for you. That's why I just stare at the ceiling every time. So he's got a wonky eye. Just pretend I'm looking for a star. Just be real thoughtful. I went to Butterlee's house for Thanksgiving. We did some stargazing. Yeah.

Oh, he's got the scope. Yeah, he's got this, he bought this giant scope for MJ, and it was fucking incredible, dude. We saw the rains as Saturn. Oh, my God. The moons of Jupiter. Like, it, like, it goes.

Holy shit. Dude, it goes, man. And he put, like, a secondary lens on it to, like, really dial in certain parts of the universe. I was like, this is. Doesn't it make you feel so weird? Yeah, of course. You're like, holy shit, it's really out there.

Yeah. And then I get home and I'm like, in order for me to sleep, I'm like, flat earth is real. And I start looking up flat of their shit. The fucking sun, she's a big lamp, you fucking idiots. I saw Haley's. I saw Haley's comment at Valley Forge. Not far from you guys.

Oh, really? I was like 12 or 13 Comes around once every 75 years It's just a small moving Comet That I was Coming around again soon Chris

I just turned 46 I get your joke But yeah We got some time You fucking idiot Shit you saw it at 12 It's got to be here soon Huh

What a fucking dickhead Yeah happy holidays I can't wait See you gun Put him not Your fucking I'm gonna eat a wonky eye dude

Dude, that is the worst when you sleep on a celestial event and then you're like, when's that coming back? 400 years. Like, oh, fuck. I was just hung over. I tailgate it at a wing bowl in Philly.

I miss Haley's comments. It's not coming again until my kid's dead. Wing bowl's coming up. Wing bowl is coming up. We should do wing bowl for look at dish. We should do wing bowl. Bro. Is that New Year's Day?

I always remembered it being like in February. Hold on. Let's take a look at see here. Because I know that I know Wing Bowl went away. They might be bringing it back. I'm sure. I'm sure from all the sexual assault allegations. They just take all the pigs from the strip joints.

And they put them in lingerie in 20 degree weather. Wing Bowl 2026. Okay. Wing Bowl returning in 2026. That's big. Hold on. Wing Bowl got shut down in 2018. Okay.

February 7th, 26. February 7th. Holy shit. So it got shut down in 2018? Yeah. Wow. I didn't know it was that long ago. Wait, but it's happening at...

Well, they're still going to tailgate. They used to start at like 8 o'clock in the morning. You tailgate at 3 or 4 in the morning. Oh, no. I think it might be in Vegas. Wow. That's... I mean, that makes sense there.

It's also not that interesting there. Every strip joins a wing bowl in fucking Vegas. You got to bring it back home. Yeah. That's sad. Have you ever been to a wing bowl of Philly? Me? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. dude the best oh yeah that was my yeah that was my introduction that was my almost my introduction to this i mean that was like i went there the first time my freshman year and was just like not in kansas anymore brother yeah this is where the fuck yeah it's like it's like a five-year-old to the gorilla den at the zoo and they're just like i'm there's other humans out there that, yeah, I had no idea existed. Dude, to be in a sports arena and they're just showing tits all over the place, like regular people's tits that they're just, first of all, people showing their tits like that. I was just like, oh, my God. Yeah, it's a W.W.E. event

with porn. Yeah. And they would, they would, fat dudes. Got to be one of the most fun camera guy jobs ever where it's just like that pretend they would always stay on the tits for like couple of seconds and then cut away like it like it was an accident yeah miss who won like they would they would totally just like kiss cam a girl then she'd be like

they just hold it for five seconds and then cut away yeah all the camera guys are in like rain gear like the front row of Gallagher concert because you're just getting thrown up on the whole time there's like milk chugging contest before the wings and shit they're you know oh yeah El-Wingador.

Yeah, the fucking, dude, the fucking Japs changed the game, man. You know, the, the, the Jacked. When they came in? Jackd. No, Jackd. Yeah. Figuring out, like, that, that eating competition stuff by still looking like a human being instead of a just giant stomach monster.

Yeah, I don't, I don't know how they do. Like, do they eat like, it's like wine tasting? Do they fucking puke it all up at the end? Either that or, yeah, either their asshole has a manhole. cover. I mean, they have to shit in the woods. Like, there's no way they're going on a toilet after that. The consumption of hot dogs. How many hot dogs that the, what's his face, eat? No, not Kobayashi. That's the guy who's thinking of chestnut. He broke his own record again. It was like 86 hot dogs or 68. I don't know. 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes. It's got to be one

of those things where like, he goes right out and it pulls. yeah but still got to do like a ton of damage it's like anytime like you you accidentally stumble upon like an interview with like an ex porn star and they talk about how they like had to have surgery to fix their asshole after like yeah wait what did you say he ate 141 boiled eggs in eight minutes it's the cool hand luke challenge What is the feeling after you get? What's the feeling after you did that? You know?

Like is it nobody's better than me? Could you really feel like that? I don't know. I remember watching that documentary where they found out these guys only at the highest level start making sponsorship money. Yeah.

So everybody else just destroys their body for, I don't know, $1,500 bucks. if you win, if you're eating 181 fucking eggs in eight minutes, and then you beat the guy who's making money, you beat the Michael Jordan of this sport. And they're like, thanks, pal. Here's a T-shirt and eight rolls of toilet paper.

Why don't you go find the fucking middle of Jersey and fill a swamp? You got to be number one in order for anyone to respect you. No one's celebrating with the second place Rubik's Cube guy. No. you know also like joey chestnut you think he's getting fucking pussy from being the best hot dog eater

unfortunately yes from what gays jeez joey i would love to hear some joey chest as joey chestnut ever done a podcast i don't know that would be great that's a great grab Josh he's maybe maybe he's secretly like all business

on a podcast yeah we never have guessed we're going to get joey chestnut A celebrity guest, Joey Chesna, dude, that would be seven hours. I wouldn't let him leave. I just keep giving them hot dogs or something. Yeah, and be like, dude, if you see a hot dog when you're not in competition, do you... Dag or do you get excited?

Yeah. Do you like it? Do you hate it? Yeah. Do you, like, how often are you, like, do you just stay off of hot dogs for 11 months of the year and then right before you just start prepping? What do you do? Yeah.

Do you swallow a balloon and then pump it up just to expand your stomach? Yeah. What are you doing? When he walks past like hot dog water boiling at like a fair, like does it like a Vietnam vet getting PTSD when he hears like a firework go off? You know, does he just start like dipping rolls in water and start fucking going nuts? Yeah, he's just had a regular barbecue. He just takes the bun and the dog. Joey, Joey!

Everybody's got to eat here, Joe. Jesus Christ. He's snorting brownies. Maybe he gets off. Maybe he's like the fat guy that gets a fucking endorphin release when they, you know, pludge through that, that breakthrough in your tummy. Yeah. Are they like UFC fighters, like they can only do it twice a year?

Because it sounds like they rotate meals. They do. I think they rotate different types. Yeah, right. Different types of, I guess. Food did they gorge on? Yeah, and a lot of times it's water or milk or lemonade. I saw some fat black dude ripped through like six gallons of lemonade in like 30 seconds, too.

The amount of, I don't know how he has feet. The amount of sugar, they probably just wheel them out like year three. And he drinks it in one fucking slurp. Jesus, I've always been told, like, when I drink too much IPAs, my cum taste good. So I'm sure this guy's, I'm sure this guy's juice is flying, you know? lemonade and all that sugar come come's got to be decent really

we're an educational podcast here Chris we don't get any facts wrong we just know exactly what we're talking about what how did you find this out did you take a break from IPAs and your girl was like where's all the pineapple what are eating 181 eggs

turtle soup last week just low time Spade. Snow hops. Nah, it's, you know, I can't really talk about it. But, oh, it was years ago. I don't even why I brought it up.

Speaking eyesight, dude, I fucking, I think I need reading glasses already. Oh, yeah, brother. I haven't having a hard time. The phone's something. The phone's a certain thing, but, like, reading directions on, like, any little box. I'm starting to do this. I'm starting to pull it out. Like my dad did already?

Yeah. I'm right there with you. It's already happened. I'm right there with you. I told you I went to the eye doctor for like distance and he like gave me a distance prescription then was like, um, yeah, like, you know, I can give you like a reading glass prescription too or you could, you could hit like a bifocal or something. And I was like, you cannot wear bifocals around me, dude.

Dude, I know. And I was like, be an LP at the Rockets, dude. I will not stop laughing if I see you wearing bifocals. Dude, it was one of those moments where, like, I didn't even, I didn't even realize how, like, insecure I was being. It was, like, so automatic that I just went, like, yeah, I mean, I probably shouldn't even be wearing reading glasses. Like, it just relaxes my eyes a little bit.

And he was like, that's what they all say. Oh, you need reading glasses. You were turned the wrong way. You're like, I'd probably do it. You were looking for his one wonky eye. I think I'm fine. Chris, turn around. Over here, pal.

Get over here. Oh, man. What'd you do for Thanksgiving? What'd you do for Thanksgiving? Went up to the folks. chilled with the fam had a nice had a nice big meal

watching football oh dude I got to send you a video my dad my my niece is big into softball and my nephew into baseball yeah

you're getting big into baseball classic classic just reject whatever your parents did you know what I mean it's like my dad played baseball so I played lacrosse

their dad plays lacrosse so they're like skip that baseball yeah yeah my dad grew My dad got a jugs machine. A jugs machine.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dude. Buddy. Are we talking old school wheel? Oh, yeah. Yep. Baby.

Dude, you can infinite BP. Oh, my, my dad got. Josh, look up jug baseball machine. see how much money it is we got to get one of these i'll buy the fucking outdoor net too dude my dad you got to pop up little like batting cage thing that we assembled you assemble it like a tent yeah just with the sticks pop that thing up then it's just who we what's it go like 20 to 100 uh miles per hour i think the fastest it can go is like 45 oh okay so there's but it was only you know it's only like 30 feet away

from you so it gets on top of you 2000 what's the speed uh speed specs for a $2,000 baseball machine up to 70

up to 70 it's got it's got to go higher than that professional grade baseball machine five grand $17,000?

Well, that one probably throws all kinds of junk. Yeah, you can You can adopt a Japanese kid for 12. And just every time he goes to pick up the ball with a right hand, you smack him in the forehead with a stick, make him a lefty. Sorry about that.

Dude, I'm telling you. That rules. It's pretty good. That's pretty good. You take some swings? Oh, I took some swings. It's the best thing in the world. Yeah.

I got nervous. I thought the golf mat. I thought the golf mat was peak. Yeah. Ain't got nothing on a Jugs machine. It's a different animal. You know, the golf mat, it's just, it's you in that crazy fucking brain. You know?

Dude, imagine you with the Jugs machine. No. Imagine. You wouldn't, you wouldn't, you wouldn't, I moved to Westchester. In two weeks, in that Texas heat, you'd weigh eight pounds. I know, I'd be braced.

Just going, boom, see you. Boom, see you. My girl leaves me, my dog's dead because I forgot to feed it. Oh, I'm worried about it's going, Apo. Your neighbors would be like, holy shit. I'm just going,

It was only $17,000. It's a fucking steeple. See you. Oh, man. So you're coming home soon, yeah? Yeah, next week. Let's go. You know what day yet?

Next week, popping home. We'll talk about this afterwards. But, uh... Yeah. Yeah, we've got a couple look at dishes on the till. Obviously, do some pods. Yeah. I'm excited to see you.

I'm getting a message here that this, uh, This little Zoom thing is going to end in nine minutes. Do we need to address that? It's going to, our Zoom call is going to end in nine minutes. Can we alter the, it just says, extend call right there. Oh, you got to get premium for that. Don't worry about that. Yeah.

Oh. Wing Bowl. Where's carousel bars? That's not in Philly, is it? This episode's brought you by Uncommon Goods, Chris. Uncommon Goods. The holidays, they're almost here. Kind of here, right?

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That's Uncommon Goods.com slash Stuff Island for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited offer. Uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. Dude, what a dismount. yeah thanks man it's always a question how you're going to read that last line with uncommon goods

yeah it is all right we're all out of the ordinary you know what you're all out of the camera go we're all out of the ordinary that's nice

pretty good uh sounds familiar Yeah, no, it's the Plaza Hotel is bringing to Las Vegas the iconic wingbowl. Yeah, that sucks. February 7th in the Plaza showroom. I'm not saying we can't do it. Still do it, but...

Could be fun. It would have been something else to go to Philly. There's going to be some... I think there's a... Yeah, there's some qualifying events, I think. the minor leagues to get into the wing bowl I think yeah yeah this is qualifying events

in Las Vegas and Philadelphia to make it to the big show when's the qualifying event in Philly I don't know it doesn't say we'll look into it all right

we'll look into it Wing Bowl championship I'll fucking look for the qualifying Oh, wing bowl qualifier. Oh, you got to fill out a form to find out where the qualifier is. But that's, boy, the fucking riff-raff that's going to show up to the qualifier. Yeah, that's probably the best bet right there. The fucking U.S. Open of Wing Bowl.

Oh, man. Just the, yeah, just the rounds prior, even the women are going to be dirtier. Yeah. You know, we're talking BJs and porta-pots. HJs in porta pots You ever get porn in a porta potty You ever get some smut in the porta potty You ever walk a pig to a porta potty?

No No never knuckled in a porta potty Never did a knuckle in a porta potty That's a That's an aggressive move That's like Yeah You gotta have

That's more of a timing thing Of course In my opinion Yeah you spelled cocaine wrong but all you got to do is you got to grab one of these oinkers by her ear and just go you want to bump

and then you just you got to figure out where to touch on the walls because there's only so much space you could you know operate in dude what is going on with porta potties

and not having a fucking cup holder they don't even have dude they don't even have a flat service to put the beer on I miss seeing the lights go on in your fucking head and what you're passionate about

I'm trying to talk about doing a Coke off a fat lady in a porta potty in Eagles game and you why is there not a cup holder in the porta potties? Well, dude, where do you put your beer if you're fucking the lady? I think, well,

who cares? It's just I'll dump it on a head. I'll pay another $20 for a 16 ounce if I could dump off three. Yeah, I mean, bringing a I feel bad about bringing a beer into a clean bar. I just feel like it's a, you know, it's a, it's a no-no. If I see this, like if I, it's just, there's too much, too much bacteria.

There's too much things floating around. Do you know when you piss into it? What else are you going to do with your beer? I don't know. Leave it with a friend. I guess I should stop drinking by myself. That's a good point. That's ridiculous.

I've seen you go into a porta-potty with two beers. I ate a 181 eggs, Chris, it's going to take a long time of shit. I'm not saying me, I'm saying I think people are judging me if I walk in there. You know, you're just sitting there and the door opens, you're like, oh, excuse me, and you just have a full glass of open beer. And then you don't want to sit it on the counter where people wash their hands. So you got to find a flat surface on top of the flusher. Just give me a ledge, dude.

Give me a shower caddy in there. Right, right. No, dude, you're not wrong. But the places that have ledges for beers over urinals and shitters are not the places that think about bacteria. Dude, you got it. Do you know what I mean? McKeever gave me this stat one time and I always think about it. When you piss in a urinal, the flow of bacteria can go up to like four feet.

So when you go to a urinal and you see an empty swamp of someone else's fucking piss, you know where you could see like they haven't been drinking water you know what I mean there's a certain hue to it going that guy's dehydrate and then I got a flush and then I'll do one of these and I flush and wait for it to come clear I wait for it to get back to a normal color then I start but if you just pee on top of someone else's sludge it's all floating up to four feet that's three feet above your head dude if I walk up to a urinal with sludging it you're shit I'm not I'm not flushing. I'm older than dinner.

I'm not flushing. There's no way I'm flushing. It's too risky. Yeah. You flush, that sludge could go anywhere. I do a flush and I walk back. I'll do like a little fucking, you know. I get in and out.

One of those championship ponies. I ring it around the wall. I don't go right into this sludge. I, you know. So do I. I find angles. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I make like the toilet bowl swirl. down and whip it around. Yeah, you got to go Trips right or trips left. Yeah, you're calling Ottawa. You go in motion. Oh my!

You can't. You can't. Ugh. Oh. You think, I don't think I've ever been in a porta potty without a beer. Same. Yeah, I'm talking. fucking shit. But at the same time, they don't want you.

It's just like, look, this is facts. New York City, it's hard to find a ledge anywhere within the public. And I'm not talking about a fucking a house that has a ledge on the windowsill. None of that shit. Like, when you go on actual public,

I think that's why mailboxes are designed with a curve. The whole purpose is to alleviate someone, like you said about, remember the homeless? Yeah. In the Pacific Northwest, there's spikes on flat places. If it's small, even the top

of a fucking fire hydrant will have a nut that you can't really sit something on. It's got like a little fucking, you know, a little curvature. You can't find a flat surface unless you just throw it in the fucking street or leave it on the curb. You won't find anywhere because people

want to find a place to sit, get on the phone, eat a sandwich, and leave their trash on a flat surface. And it's just a receptacle. Anything flat in a metropolitan city is a receptacle for other people's garbage. So if you go into a porta potty, if there were ledges, it would just be 17 fucking beers and old cocaine slides. It just reminded me on that. I'll die on that fucking hill.

I think you're 100% right. I think there's no question. It's purposeful design. It's designed so that you can't put anything down anywhere and no one can sleep anywhere. Yeah. It's a doctor's waiting room. The pizza festival we just did. You know how many pieces

of pizza and crust and fucking old cups and old cocktails and then that falls in the toilet and then they got to fucking, you know, strain the shit? It's like you just can't, you can't, people are terrible human being and most, 99% of people

are, they should be shot in the back of the fucking head. Dude, I just remind me to the, but you know you get it. No, it's true. My lady did the funny thing we were in we're in New York and uh I did the thing where I had a little bit of coffee left and I didn't want to drink it so I took the lid off and I dumped it like in the yeah like the gutter yeah uh and she saw me do that and then five minutes later just like like full on because

she's not a New Yorker yeah she's like doesn't know how to operate yeah so full on like an alien having just seen what I did we're standing in the middle of a cross-war walk and she just pops the lid and dumps it. You got to hide that stuff. Dude, it was incredible. It was like one of those movies where they bring someone back, like some, through some wormhole from like the 1700s and they're trying to fit in. It was insane.

Dude, it's the same as discarding like dirty underwear in the middle of a crosswalk. It's like, dude, that's, if I saw somebody just open a lid and go like, what's this guy's fucking problem? There are people staying. waiting at the light. There are people standing at like the curb cut out. Yes. I get nuts when I see people open like an old coffee and toss it

like the base of a tree. Yeah, that's... You know, I'm sure there's, it's not that bad of a thing. I'm just, oh, what if it's so fucking, you know, a mountain dew or something. Something's not good. Mountain dew, I can't abide. Coffee's natural. Coffee's natural. I shouldn't have said coffee. Coffee grinds.

We can absolutely cut that. It's the first edit. Sprite. Yeah. Yeah, but there's certain things. liquids go right to the curb, right beside a tree, right beside a walkway. Yeah. Just dump it off. You might as well just throw a McDonald's bag out the fucking window. Yeah, between two cars, that's a garbage can.

Yeah, I got to fight in college. I was behind a car on Broad Street, and this woman just took a fucking bag of McDonald's. It just went, just in the middle of Broad Street, you know? They weren't Irish. there's plenty of places to dump your trash discreetly in a city well that's how you know you're like fuck the system at that point you know yeah you've had enough someone's been fuck with you unless you're just raised by fucking you know no it does it's a it's a little bit of it's like they're fighting the system through their own little way yeah that's like fuck you you want to

that's why i always yeah that's why i always felt like slow in the crosswalk yeah i always felt that was a little bit of like it's sticking it to a system that left them behind, you know what I mean? Yeah. I think the most fuck you to the system I've done is like pissing on a toilet seat for a place that like treated me wrong. Oh,

really? And I never do that. I'm always toilet seat up, pee, toilet seat down. You know, I'm not like I don't find the whole, I do the proper I do everything, everything correct. But I think back on places that kind of disrespected me and I took it into the bathroom.

and then I would just miss the toilet Yeah I'd just piss right in the corner But I'm talking about like Really terrible dog shit Establishments where the bouncer Is a fucking scumbag You know

Yeah The owner is a piece of shit They treat everybody horribly I always wish that I Upper decked somebody I never upper decked anybody I've done a couple wild things A shit in a dryer

That's It turned it on Wow Yeah I shit in somebody's dryer Yeah you're like That's a wild move Because you got to bend in a crazy way

Yeah I shit in a fish tank Kooch can attest to this I did it to make Would you get up on a ladder No I sat up There was like a big A big table

Where the fish tank was like In a little close proximity Where there was a big ledge I shit in a In a sink I filled it up with water It was my own sink. It's so funny that you don't like shitting in public and you were able to shit in a fish tank.

Dude, this is all for giggles, man. It's rage-based. I was trying to make my boy laugh. I shit in a plastic bag. Temple University. I shit in a pizza box. I shit in a shoe box. We're talking just, you know, college gags.

Those are some good gags. But shitting in the dryer. That was, yeah, against a college during, in college, it was a high school, fight we had against that's it for the dryer right you can't i would imagine i never i didn't ring the doorbell next day going i can't how's the dryer operator god you can call the may tag repair man he shows up in a hazmat somebody shit my dryer he also shit my pants last night anyway there's a big dump in the dry like it's gonna get caught it's gonna get caught and like the lint catcher just do and the little air holes yeah you gotta toss it and it's hot

get a big one yeah dude get a new one just spinning and baking shit that's why it's brilliant yeah i don't think you can how do you clean a dryer i feel like i've seen like old gum in a dryer for like 20 years yeah i looked up I went through a whole fucking I don't know I guess a black hole I guess you would call it I went down the fucking rabbit hole but it was black of like

tricks to like really fuck people and again this is like a rival high school and we got to fight an all out brawl with this whole squad but there was one thing I looked up where you punch a hole in the drywall behind the couch and throw a dead fish

into the drywall and just let the fucking you know the summer air just let that cook and these are college kids they're just out of high school they're not like

pulling furniture away going what's that stink they just go you know Becky's here they don't fucking they're not like must have spilled some beer or something

they're not yeah it must be pizza old pizza it was a fucking wild salmon cooking and fucking dryball oh it's a good time

man it's a good time that'd be a good one you have to take some effort though you got to do the drywall up again paint it that's yeah that's a clandestine operation you got to get in and you got to get out have you ever done something that was like extremely dangerous like that not dangerous but dangerous to get caught uh i don't think that i ever I, I, it's just like one of those things where I, I feel like I can remember doing something kind of fucked up like that, but I don't think I ever like, yeah, I never ever upper decked anybody. I never shit in anyone's fish tank. Salmon in the walls. I don't, I don't know if I, yeah, I don't know if I did. It's funny. If, uh, if that was a question between if it was you or I, I think you would, you'd be. checked off on all those.

Yeah, I think I was like, I think the rest of my, like I was so, I was like performing so poorly in the rest of my life that I didn't take a lot of risks. Yeah, that's how you describe your success. I'm pretty much a salmon in a dry wall. It's true. It's true. I'm shit in the upper tank. My whole, yeah, my whole, like college and high school experience.

I was putting salmon in the drywall of all of my papers and tests. it off. That's it. Yeah. When I was like applying to colleges, yeah, that's what they, it was like, what's your GPA? Do you ever put a salmon in a drywall? Dude, I applied to like three colleges. Yeah.

I didn't. I got to that point. I was the same way. Night before. Oh, shit. Yeah. Not knowing the application was like 50 fucking pages. Yep.

You lie through 10 of them and then go, all right, well, I can only get to one or two or three of these fucking things first to accept me and that's just my future what a what a fucking asshole i know you know what's crazy is that it's it's it's like what's brutal is looking back is like i feel like high school was not that hard you know it was just all just not doing the work yeah and fucking around yeah which i don't mind but it it does sometimes you do do that thing where it's like man if i just showed up and did the stuff I would have just, I could have gotten, like, a scholarship to, like, just some country club school and, like, yeah, fucking had it made in the shade.

If you studied or did homework a few days before, if you started on Monday or Tuesday and something was due Friday, you'd fucking, you'd rocket bounce through that fucking final. Yeah. Instead, you're knocking this Asian dude, this Asian dude's fucking shoulder going, let me get in there, you know? Yeah, what's a difference to you? Yeah, come on. yeah i'll give you a couple bucks i'll buy you a pack of cigarettes that's what i did

fucking engineering school dressel yeah i'm not gonna be an accountant yeah i'm not gonna be competing with you for a job just let me get the answers i just need to make enough money for this baseball machine you could just shift your body to the left so i could tell dick jokes just unfolding an ad from a magazine come on bud All right, Chris, let's go to the Patreon. You want to go to the Patreon for an hour? Yeah. Like the old days?

Yeah. A little page time. Yeah, all right, guys, thanks for watching. The boys are back in some capacity, and that's fun. I think that's what you asked for. He's gone. Make sure I was recording the whole time. Nice.

That would have, I'm telling you, I would have left. There's no way that episode would have came out. This week. There's no fucking way I would take a whole week off. Yeah. Yeah. That's a salmon in the drywall situation when you first. Yeah, that'd be forget the hit record.

All right, thanks, guys. We'll see it. Also, Tom, don't look now, but the fly guys. That's all we got. We got something going. That's all we got. We got something going. Young Trevor Zegris.

I didn't want to talk about it. The Eagles, a facade until this fucking OC leaves. The whole offense is a. is a muck people are blaming hurts a little bit and I get it he's not making correct reads here and there but he doesn't trust the O.C and the whole offense is is all out of whack and we're on paper the best team in the fucking league we're not playing like it I am I am distraught it's crazy it's crazy that it's like the week it's it's literally rinse and repeat of the week is AJ Brown tweeting something cryptic about how everyone sucks and not treating him

Right. Then they come out. They throw the ball to them fucking eight times in a row. They score two touchdowns. And then they just stopped doing that. Last year we were a second half adjustment team. This year we just shut the whole fucking system down. And that's O.C. I'm telling you it's O.C.

I'm not to. It's got to be. Enough with the fucking Italians. We got to get rid of one of them. And that's the fucker. It's true. It's true. You need balance.

Yeah. A lot of balance. Two, two slip. too much grease all right we'll see you the other side all the balls are slipping out of hurts his hands