Stuff Island - The Scaries - Stuff Island #171

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en BETTER HELP! Visit betterhelp.com/stuffisland and get 10% off your first month right from the comfort of your own home Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dude. I had three seltzers last night. That was like the start of the Dust Bowl. Bro, I was doing my hours. First of all, the greatest weekend. Of all time. Of all time. Yeah.

All the shit we've ever done. That was the greatest weekend I've ever had in my life. That was the greatest weekend. That was the greatest weekend that we've ever had in my life. That was the greatest weekend. That was the greatest weekend that we've ever had. It's just me. It's a smash cut to me on a porch talking to the mailman.

Let me tell you about the greatest weekend I've ever had. My voice just got back to small. It was 2025. You're probably small. Do you remember SportsCenter? Oh my god dude You're gonna be on a

Fucking Ken Burns doc Just with one of the lenses Blurred out and your glasses Your eyes all fucked up Like Gervin Duct tape in one lens So he can read a book Dude it was so fucking fun

I mean just like Every hour Was spoken for in the hours that we should have been sleeping i was out at some like fucking meth den till 6 a.m i can't believe yeah every night i did that every night i was yeah i was home i was like home in bed by like probably 1 30 every night yeah i went to bed at 1 30 the first night and then i turned it the fuck on oh man how do you feel do you feel like aj brown where you're like over it already no i feel like say that what it's not what i i thought it was gonna be really yeah he's like already ready back on the grinds he's like i'm i'm over the fucking

the thrill of it all i want another one i'm like dude yeah yeah why don't you why don't you fucking settle down right now let me let the city enjoy this for a month or two and then say some shit like that yeah yeah yeah this is all they have no no but i mean i like it i like it they're the ones who have to do the work 100 so it's like if you're getting back to business yeah yeah by all means yeah yeah yeah i'll be there with more beers yeah at the end of the road and acted like i did it oh my god yeah just i don't even know how to concisely because people are going to ask concisely uh you know summarize those three days four days just as soon as the plane touches down. It's sort of like a non-stop train of embarrassing yourself

in front of athletes. Yeah. Oh, you're talking about the after parties. Yeah. I mean, I landed, tried to hug Julian Edelman. He went, why? Oh my God. Bro, hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. I saw Julian Edelman. why oh my god bro hold on hold on hold on i was hammered and i saw julie was the funniest thing and i went oh my god can i get a hug ever dude he goes why and i i had nothing i had no good reason no i just went because oh come on because you're the best. Yeah. The beginning of this was so much more embarrassing. So Chris is next to me. We're in the hallway of Bert's show. Bert's on stage at the stadium. Shane's on next. So we all funneled out to a little open area. And Julian Edelman walks in.

And I just did like a fucking, was like what's up jules and then we dabbed each other and like i said it like i've known this guy for years i did exactly what i wanted to do i was in and out clean you know i mean no no embarrassment whatsoever chris goes like this jules and he didn't answer and then chris just kept he moved on to talk to somebody else and Chris just kept slowly leaning dude he kept leaning he got down to like it was so bad like in his peripheral still didn't answer and then he has to throw a hug yeah and this was this was fresh on the heels of like Tyreek Hill walked by and I I just reached like through his security and tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around like what are security and tapped him on the shoulder. And he spun around like, what are you doing?

Yeah. Yeah. Why are you touching me? And I was like, ah, man, I had nothing. I had nothing for any of the things that I was doing. Well, it's just. Non-stop, terrible. It's blind excitement for the game day. Yeah.

That is miss. Shane had to, when I tapped Tiger Kill, Shane had to jump in and go, he's with me. Yeah. He's with me. It was like that. One of those. Yeah. Don't touch the shirtless black guy.

Like the worst case scenario. That's pretty much how the whole weekend went. It was like, you know, private party with musicians where you're just like, I'm going to fuck this up. I'm going to talk to, you know, my favorite was Will Levis, dude.

Will Levis is the fucking man. Will Levis is amazing. We did, Shane did a show after Bert's show where it was him and Zach Bryan. And I, I introduced Shane and it was just like, their kids are there to watch Zach. It's a music pop-up.

And they're so excited to see Shane. And Shane's like, can you go introduce me? I was like, come on. What are you doing? Why? I knew why. You need the buffer. You need someone to go, all right, everybody, quiet, quiet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shane Gillis. Yeah, yeah. Essentially. I insulted the whole town yeah yeah I made fun of

fucking the Saints it was bad I was like who that who that who not gonna be in the playoffs yeah

it was bad I did what I had to and then we went to this like mud pit out back in this shitty bar in the middle

of fucking New Orleans that was also yeah so fun god damn dude yeah, so fun. God damn, dude. It was so fun. And then,

I kept trying to, I kept trying to get Zach Bryant and like this band that was like hanging out there too to sing Six Feet Under by Creed.

That was another, that was another tragic misstep of my evening. He was like an, I don't know if he was an opener for Zach or like, he was a very talented dude

that started doing acoustic in the dark in this backyard mud pit, and everyone's like locked in. He was incredible. And Chris was like, Creed! Play Creed! It was so bad.

It was like, holy shit, dude, shut the fuck up. No one thought it was funny. Oh, I was dying. I was dying. Six feet from the edge of the... We started all singing it until he did, and he didn't. They tried to get out. He was like, I don't know the chords.

And I looked up the tabs, and I was like, come on, man. I got you. Come on. I got you. The game itself, man. Have you ever seen such dominance at that level of constant up your ass? Fuck Mahomes. Fuck Kelsey.

Fuck the whole team. Kelsey ate ass. He did fucking nothing. Mahomes was running around like a scared little rabbit. They had no time. They had no time. They had no time. You got to give it up to the defense.

Oh, my God. The best defensive play I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, yeah. It reminded me. It was very much. It was like when Notre Dame played Georgia. And they were like flying around. And you're like, I've never seen Notre Dame do this.

Yeah, it was a fucking bee's nest. Yeah. But you didn't believe it. It was like, I remember. I called. Mara called me after like. Yeah. It was at halftime.

At some point. And before she could say hello i just had a speech ready i was like stay grounded stay locked in don't change any defensive schemes play your fucking game no pre-vent just keep playing the fucking game yeah foot on the gas it'll keep increasing and it did yeah it fucking did i could i just, still to this day, I can't figure out how it all worked out so perfectly. Yeah, you never believe it. I feel like the last time they won the Super Bowl,

when the clock hit zero, I was still waiting for ref to come out and go, like, three minutes are added. Like, somehow there's a soccer rule. There's a raping somehow. We didn't know about it. Yeah, yeah. Sexual assault. They can add extra time. Like, there's no soccer rule. There's a raping somehow. We didn't know about it. Yeah, yeah. Sexual assault. They can add extra time.

Like, there's no way it's over. There's always going to be some other thing that prevents it from happening. In the after party, I blew my fucking eardrum out trying to get a video of X the Plug. What's his name? Big X the Plug. I'm sitting next to the fucking... This is bad. I'm sitting next to the fucking... This is bad. I'm sitting next to the...

Dude, the bass. I'm trying to get a video for my daughter, X the plug. I gotta lose her fucking eardrum. I mean, yes. My girl's my daughter at this point. So I'm like, she loves this guy. I'm sitting next to the... The bass is so heavy, it's shaking

the drinks Off the tables Oh yeah That was so funny Yeah Miles Teller Started yelling Like a waitress Everyone was waiting In line for a drink

And come back And put it down On the table It's gone Pull out their phone To film something And they would Pull his nipples

And go God damn it Yeah Finally I was like I get the fuck out of here My ears rang Until yesterday morning And everyone was so Hammered that it was like

it was a difficult puzzle to solve. Yeah, like who pushed it off? Who stole it? Yeah. It took me a while to look under the table. There's just like, it's a graveyard of fucking base drinks. Ice everywhere people are falling.

Oh man, that was, yeah. Big X. That was, yeah. Big X. That was fucking amazing. Drank way too much. Absolutely terrifying day yesterday. Oh, my God, dude. The guys behind us. Just reliving all my stupid interactions.

This fucking girl behind us. It's like, oh, my God. I went to get a drink. I come back. Chris is talking to them. I'm like, fuck. This is going to be a problem all game now, right? It's not his fault, but they were yapping.

And I look at this big white guy, and I'm looking up his nostrils, and he's got fucking, he'm like, fuck. This is going to be a problem all game now, right? It's not his fault, but they were yapping. And I look at this big white guy, and I'm looking up his nostrils, and he's got coke caught in all his nose hair, and I'm like, this kid's going to be an issue the whole goddamn game. He's not going to shut the fuck up. He's next to this loopy Asian that's like out of his fucking gourd already.

Clearly not interested in sports. He's an absolute terminator for finding coke. Yeah, yeah. First of all, he didn't let me finish. I was like, Clearly not interested in sports. He's an absolute terminator for finding coke. Yeah. First of all, he didn't let me finish. I was like, these are my guys. He's got one eye that's just like coke powder. It zooms in. I had no idea

anyone was doing anything. Yeah, they glow. You can tell. The guy just kept leaning in trying to talk to us about anything. Yeah, they glow. I mean, you can tell. The guy just kept, like, he kept leaning in trying to talk to us about anything. And they don't... Do you remember when I got back from the fucking bathroom and the girl put her makeup bag on my jacket and I lost my fucking mind?

And you're like, what's your problem? I'm like, there's a fucking makeup bag on my jacket. Why shouldn't I be upset about that? And you went, dude, calm down. I'm like, fuck this bitch. She put her feet on my back at some point. Really? Yeah. Because she's all ripped out of her skull skull And then the Asian guy finally was like You want a bump?

And I was like no And then he said She's got her legs on your shoulder now She's on top But he was like you want a toot toot Or you want ketamine? And I was like toot toot And then I got one toot

And then the second time around He handed me this bag And it was like purple powder And I was like two two and then i got i got one one two and then the second time around he handed me this bag and it was like purple powder and i was like what am i doing what am i doing taking a bag of purple powder from an asian guy who has no colors nor affiliation i don't know who how the fuck he got there yeah he wasn't wearing any team stuff no no and he was fucking he was space cadet in the whole goddamn game. It might have been that dude's dealer who was just like,

come on, I got an extra ticket. Get in here and bring all your bags. Holy Christ. Our buddy got his fucking vape stolen as we're going through security

and Chris was like, Chris hit me on like this, like vape, vape, vape. And I was like, I started lining them up around my fucking, my fucking underwear. Yeah, that's, that's straight up like old old onward stuff yeah just hiding out this rambo around my fucking belt seven flavors just go up to the

getting fucking quarters out. Like... Oh, man. New Orleans. Forgot how great of a town New Orleans is. Incredible city. Incredible city. Everybody was really great, too. I think the security did well.

I mean, it was like... There was a parade. I went to the parade. I woke up early. I was three hours sleep every night. That, yeah. People were tossing beads.

They had the Big Eagles parade coming down the street. Don't miss that. I got beignets at Cafe Du Mal. Yeah, nice. Dipped in my coffee and then just got blanked out. Dude, how about the fucking Irish coffees at that one place? In the morning of our flight. Yeah.

Monday morning. Monday morning. Monday morning Irish coffees. Yeah. Monday morning. Monday morning. Monday morning Irish coffees. Yeah. And a sausage, egg, and cheese with hash browns on white bread.

Game saver. Unbelievable move. The breakfast sandwich on white bread is so underrated. It's, yeah. It's the Big Mac

bum type shit because you know it's white trash bread but it has this flavor profile that brings you back to like, that's what all my parents. It's old deli.

It's old, like Sunday morning. Do you ever, not like diner? Yeah. Yeah. It's the cheapest shit you can get. Yeah. When you go, when you, when like the reward for getting through church without making a, like a, like unleashing hell was you get to go to the diner and you get like a little

captain crunch box and you're like, this is. Yeah. How do my parents do it yeah that was definitely the first sign of autism just like a little rice krispies but i couldn't believe the existence of the little box of cereal yeah you know it's like all the graphics had been drunk down. It was like unbelievable. But yeah, the dry out is real. Yeah. I mean, I'm tired of laughing like fucking Muttley.

This is a very embarrassing look and feel. You know what I mean? Dude. I went from a week of having a black eye to just a week of not having a voice. Do you think you'll go to the parade? No, I can't. I can't do it. Dude, that was,

no shade, but like that, I went to the parade last time. Going to the parade after watching the game in a bar makes sense because you feel like you're part of it. Yeah. Going to a parade after

actually being in the game, slamming each other all day, you know what I mean? Just fucking. I know know but then you got the feeling of like we did it

it was in New Orleans yeah so then you think what a nice treat yeah to go home and celebrate we went home

yes yeah you know what I mean but then you're talking another two days of fucking I mean it can't be done

yeah a ski ball your voice comes back it's fucking lost again. I think I got some serious internal problems after this weekend. Yeah, did you bleed a lot? No, not on my... Me neither.

But I had like... I think I... Hawaiian punch, I'll say. I think I've only really experienced this one time before, but I think I burned my esophagus with booze. Yeah. Like I was like, you know where it's like not heartburn. Yeah.

It's just like you can feel food like scraping down it. It's not good. That's so bad. My first meal back here. She she made me steak. She went to Central Market, got steak. We had steak salad. I had one bite.

It couldn't get down. So the gullet was all swollen. And I just threw it up like a seagull trying to swallow a bottle of water. Oh, my God. Immediately just started throwing up foam and shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I know. So, yeah, dust bowl. Oh my god Oh my god So yeah Dust Bowl

Sounds like a good idea Oh my god Dude it was nuts Oh my god It was nuts Cause the whole voice thing Is coming from screaming The entire game

Yelling at strangers. Run the play action! Why won't they do it? Chris just kept fucking screaming about this play action play. It's like, well, you have to run the ball ten times in a row to get a play action to fucking work. And he's like, just run the play! I don't just run

the fucking play! It's there already! Well, our seats were great. And then they did run it, and it was dagger of the heart. We didn't have, our seats were great. And then they did run it, and it was dagger of the heart. We didn't have, like, traditional great seats, like fucking, like, rich guy seats. You know what I mean? Like, I'm blessed in Philly where, like, I'm down in, like, the 100s,

like the middle, first 20 rows, middle of the field. But you still have a hard time getting over the helmets of the bench. Yeah. And you can't see the play develop. We were up in like the fives or something like that. We were in 600 level, but dude, it's like,

I don't know. I love that stadium. I gotta be honest. I love that stadium. I love those seats. We were in the corner and it was like, you had the perfect, sometimes you go to,

if you're like sitting in like an end zone and like, it's like hard to tell where, like it was at a first down. Did they get it? How many yards did they gain? Even like, yeah, there's just places where you're like, I can't really see what's happening. That was like.

Just seeing the spread of the offense going like, AJ's going to be open in the flat. You just see how plays can develop and you just know exactly where the ball should be placed. Yeah. God damn. It was great. It was great. It was great.

And then our flight got delayed. The guy went to a wrong airport or something. So we just spent five hours watching fucking AMC movies and smoking White Claws. Yeah, that was great. That's where all the lactic acid came from. I had heartburn. I couldn't swallow.

Nothing could stay down. Literally, it would bubble. It would foam. So I would drink something and it would go... And I would just spit out foam from my gullet, dude. And then we were hanging out.

Yeah, it's a problem. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. It's a problem. That's the craziest thing. Yeah, heard. It's a problem. That's the craziest thing. Yeah, it was like Alka-Seltzer with a little bit of water. You know? How it fizzes in a big cup.

Imagine if you only put this much water in. Put an Alka-Seltzer in there. It feels like a nice little thing you drizzle on like a quail egg at a high-end restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gastro... Gastronomy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gastro, yeah. Gastronomy? Yeah, gastronomy.

That would. That would sell. Yeah. That would sell at a high-end restaurant in Philly. This is... They just bring me out? This is an Eagles fan's foamy vomit. Yes.

This is fresh from the game. Yeah. It's just me and a jacket going... Baby bird in fucking foam all over their sea scallops. This is Gordon Ramsay in the back. Feed him another piece of steak. We need more foam. Yeah, enjoy it.

Happy holidays. God. Yeah, I feel like when I once all this... Well, all the pain and the fog subsides, I'll go back and I'll watch everything and go. It was really great. Oh, I watched it. As soon as I got home,

I watched the whole game without the commercials and they cut all the bullshit. Watched it an hour. Then I went on fucking Twitter, watched all the highlights, watched all the fucking analysts either apologizing or standing their ground, still talking shit as the Chiefs

are the greatest team of all time. Mahomes is better than Brady. All the fucking bullshit they've been saying. It's like no one has been pounded directly in the ass by another team. When you consider yourself one of the best of all time

going in for a three-peat, walking into the stadium and seeing all these Chiefs players take pictures like this. They got merch on that says three-peat. They had no idea what type of ass-raping they were walking into. And they had to sit there, slumped over fucking railings with puppy-dog eyes, watching the next one go right down their

fucking throat this episode is brought to you by better help online therapy yeah yeah better help.com baby better online therapy it's amazing it is amazing yeah it's easy to like switch around and change therapists you get a whole database of of good therapists to use yeah uh you can do it kind of from anywhere right you can text you can call you can set up zooms and stuff if you want right yeah no physical location yeah if you're feeling down about your girl's attitude after coming home blacked out from the super bowl yeah you know i'd like to talk to somebody right that's not my girl or my dog right and they're gonna. And they're going to tell her, they're going to tell you that it's all her fault.

That she's wrong. I know. And don't change anything. What you're doing is important work. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And that's.

These are things that you don't need to investigate. That's the green flag, Chris. You know how they talk about red flags? Yeah. The green flag is developing personal relationships that give you things that make you better. The freedom not to change. Yes.

That it's okay to be associated with somebody that's going to give you the technical know-how to navigate a relationship. Right, right. That's the green flag. How do I say the right things to get what I want? What I want. Is really what you need. That's a self-manipulation. Yeah.

Right. You're right. This has nothing to do with what BetterHelp provides, but this is the kind of stuff that you might be looking for. But you're going to find nothing but good, sound advice on BetterHelp.com. You're going to, yeah. See, you're playing both sides of the fence right now,

which is kind of great. Yeah. Because most people think, yeah, what can I get out of this? How do I manipulate my scenario? Well, the point is that it's like we're teasing the idea that a lot of people go into therapy not for the right reasons.

Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? And sometimes they don't get the right therapist. But with BetterHelp.com, you show up for the right reasons. You get the right advice. You're going to end up with the right therapist. And get the right advice and you can, and you can, you can, you can bop around, you can change, you can do it.

You don't have to take a trip somewhere and sit down with someone for an hour, pay them an exorbitant amount of money and then realize that it's not for you and then move on. Yeah. Ironically, this is the threat I've given my girlfriend. I was like, I can bop around. I can go to this girl or that girl. I could find something that's better for me. Right, right. Better advice.

And it's not professional. Yeah, it's not professional. It's not professional help. That's where you're getting it, betterhelp.com. And that's why I need betterhelp.com. All right. So what do our listeners get if they go to betterhelp.com? Oh, betterhelp.com, in case they don't know,

is a fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switch therapists anytime at no cost. Discover your relationship, green flags, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Stuff Island today to get 10% off your first month. 10% off. That's BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Stuff Island today to get 10% off your first month. 10% off. That's BetterHelp.

H-E-L-P dot com slash Stuff Island. Beauteous. Be better. Be better. Get help. Be better. Hey, Chiefs. Be better.

Get help. Yeah. They're going to be texting. They may use the promo code. I bet fucking, yeah, the Chiefs have been texting a bunch of therapists. It's true. Defensive control, interception, touchdown, field goal, field goal, field goal, touchdown, interception.

Sack, sack, sack, sack, sack, sack. Six sacks. Do you know how many times we blitzed? Zero. Yeah, it was a bloodbath. There's no question. How powerful that is? I did think people were coming down on the Chiefs a little too hard.

They didn't make it to the Super Bowl. Shut the fuck up. You know? I saw people going like... Do you know why they're hard on them? Because they made it to the Super Bowl based on soft-ass calls and fucking by the skin of their teeth wins to teams they should have never beat.

And teams that the... I don't wins. The teams they should have never beat. The teams that the, I don't know, the fucking journalists and NFL society considered and deemed them to be the best going into every game, and they squeezed out like eight fucking wins to lesser teams. And then, dude, I remember reading one tweet. This one guy said,

what if the Eagles blow him out and then I heard one other analyst going it was fucking Coward Colin Coward he's like it's not even going to be close we're not even talking about two points

here this is crazy they're going to win by 20 the Eagles are yeah they're going to win by 20 and they were like his analyst was like what he's like it won't even be close and I'm sticking on this

and I believe this is the most beautiful thing Chris said the whole entire time was it was 40 to 6 this is like

two hours he goes it was 40 to 6 those two touchdowns were dog shit backups it doesn't fucking matter it was 40 to 6

the official score was 40-6. We let the boys come off and start celebrating. Do handshakes and dances. Yeah. It's true. Let the kids fucking dance. It's true. Yeah, what an absolute just drubbing.

It's never happened. I've never seen it. I've never seen such a fucking beating. Worst case scenario for the health of the fans Was it just once again turned into an absolute party In the second half Yeah You're just like

How? How? Give me another drink How? Yeah How is it happening? Yeah But we've been training for this our whole lives

I know Usually in the depressing side But I think How? How? How is this still happening? How are we are we still getting why is it always this hard yeah yeah yeah and then the coin flips and you're like well let's fucking go yeah why shouldn't i be at a fucking meth bar at 6 a.m in fucking new orleans in the most dangerous fucking district that i don't know why i don't know how this girl was the bartender had a fucking mohawk.

I don't know why you made this decision. The face tattoos. Yeah. It wasn't just like a creative art piece. It was like one of her friends just went like this and did a crosshatch scribble on her face with a fucking marquee. And she just got it done. And then she has this weird shit all over her neck,

and she's wearing lingerie with a corset. That's kind of sick. And she was, like, in a way, very hot. Do you know what I mean? You know when, like, the scales tip so far into crazy, you're like, I know for a fact, if there's not a razor blade in that pussy, it will be the best

fuck of my life you know what i'm saying like that is the type of girl that will spin like a top and exercise exorcism your penis do you know what i'm saying yeah if they're getting squiggly lines just tattooed on their face yeah yeah just ruining your natural good looks so this would with a fucking yeah a sharpie. Is that yeah is that do you think that's like Probably what happened.

Do you think it was like you're late it's late you're getting fucked up and your friend is a tattoo artist and you're like

trying to get better at tattooing and you're like yeah just give me something just work on it. Let me tell you something. Or do you think it's like their version

of like drawing a penis on your head? Like they're just surrounded with tattoo guns and they're out of drugs. And they're like, wouldn't it be funny? Yeah. I don't think they were out of drugs. I think they just re-upped.

You should have seen the saloon door of these maniacs walking in. There was only five people to start. They got the grill on because they make something to serve. I don't know what the fuck it was, but the oil smoke.

They're making po' boys back there. The oil smoking beyond belief. It's a shithole bar. There's a couple crackheads down at the end. And look, I'm very well versed in drugs. This guy, I know the difference between coke and meth. And if you're racking your jaw,

your eyes don't usually go like bananas unless you just did half an eight ball in one fucking sitting. Were there any Eagles fans in there or no? No. If any of them had a football, they would burn it to dust and then snort it. They're not fucking interested in sports, dude.

I didn't know if any of the railroad people got down there, you know? I'm talking two street fucking thugs would walk in. One dude. I didn't know if any of the railroad people got down there. I'm talking two street fucking thugs would walk in. One dude didn't have a shirt on. They go right to the bathroom. A guy comes out of the kitchen, meets him in the bathroom, and then they come back and separate. So this is like a den.

Like they're dealing there. They're just wheeling and dealing. The lady next to me just keeps like like she keeps switching like closer to the stool and trying to tell me stories about like her her pop-pop fishing and shit and i was like yo the fucking eagle i'm watching sports center highlights dude i'm the only white dude in there. Acting like it's McFadden's. It was a place where I put my wallet in my boot.

You know? I went to the bathroom. I was like, oh, okay. I need to... Why not just leave? It's only a five-minute walk. Why not just leave? Get out of there. I don't want to stare at the fucking ceiling.

No, there's tons of other bars. You don't have to go to the... No, there wasn't. 24-hour bar. Late Sunday. No way. Everything closed. Damn.

Everything's closed. We didn't get home till midnight. And this is like the French Quarter. Yeah. There's only like two or three bars open. 24 hours? There was only one 24-hour bar within like five miles. Jesus.

And I'm like, I'm going. I will risk my life for this. Oh my God. Yeah. Worth it. I just went back. I went back to the home. It was nice

waking up. Oh dude, you should have fucking, we stayed with two guys that, I knew one of the guys. The other guy, I didn't know.

Best dudes ever. They're fucking amazing guys South Jersey dudes he tells me when we set up the Airbnb with Chris and I because there's two queen beds and I'm like are you guys cool staying in the bed together like yeah we've been best friends for 25 years we We've done this a million times. I was like, yeah, Chris and I have been sleeping in the same bed for a long time. Bart and Ernie. And I get in there. I drop my bag. I'm in the king bedroom. I wake up the next morning, hadn't seen them because I was out.

They're getting ready, and it's a queen. And one dude's like 6'6". And the other one's like 6'2". And they're like sharing his queen bed. And it's just me and Chris on this giant king, but he never even got in the bed. I went on the couch. Yeah, I'm just masturbating every two hours.

Yeah, that's why I didn't want to walk in there. He could have texted me. I'm not walking into that room. There's no fucking way. Yeah, yeah. Just play the room. Just have a fucking way. Yeah. Yeah. I was just having no voice going. Come on. Like I lay down on the couch. It was perfect. Yeah. You did. You did use the couch. I mean, couch is elite. That's a dog. That's a dog move. It's going, you know what? I'm fine.

I'm going to sleep on the couch. Yeah. I'm not'm not gonna worry all the lights still on yeah dude it's nuts it's nuts how you can sleep yeah it was great it was great oh it's so funny because the other guys were complaining about you coming home and like banging and dropping phones and shit i didn't hear a peep yeah and i was in the hallway basically yeah i was not in good shape i was not in good shape and then we got up like the the morning of the game they were like let's go to the caa party it was like saquon's agent that that my buddy eric got us into it was just like a it was like a brunch with rich people and uh sports center analysts. Sounds amazing. Yeah, you'd think. What do they got for breakfast there?

We didn't get breakfast. We just drank. We sat by the bar and got ripped. Huge mistake. Get a couple waters in. I just talked to old men that go to every Super Bowl. This one guy went to 28 Super Bowls. Some dude from like Washington area, Virginia or something.

That's got gotta be crazy. He said he went to, when Doug Williams won with Washington, they went to that game. And they were like, we're gonna go to every Super Bowl from here on out because Washington's gonna be good for a while

and we'll just run the fucking gamut. That was the last time. They've seen their team yet. But he said it's the best thing 28 Super Bowls that's my first Super Bowl

I never went to a Super Bowl same yeah why would you go unless your team was in it

100% I mean it's great if you have like all access to everything it's fun

yeah but even still but you don't care during the game what imagine watching the Eagles

Chiefs game but I hold on this is not true because I think there was there's enough of But you don't care during the game. What? Imagine watching the Eagles-Chiefs game. But hold on. This is not true. Because I think there's enough of the public that cared one way or the other. People are tired of the Chiefs winning. People want to see the Eagles win. Yeah. Some of the public that aren't true diehard fans of either team.

But if you just go to see a blowout, a complete domination, that would be so fucking boring. Yeah, you go to see the most incredible moments. Like our first win. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the Patriots game would be an incredible game if you're just a regular football fan.

Yeah. That game, you'd leave it half. So go get a hooker. What am I here for? Beignets and hookers. Good Lord. What else, Chris?

Do you have anything else to add? Or has this been your entire personality for the last four days like me? No, it's been everything for the past four days. But I'm still i just i i came home so scared i was like the tuesday was maybe one of the scariest scaries i've ever had back that up i will back that up it was horrific yeah i didn't i didn't leave the couch after the bed yeah i didn't get out of the bed till one went to the couch didn't

leave till six or seven my girl would be like do you want a coffee she would ask me like the most basic questions and i'd be like i can't yeah i can't answer that yeah i i've got no answers for you right now i can't hold a conversation yeah i'm just gonna look we also got my phone yeah yeah yeah it's like can you just talk to me we're gone for three days and i'm like i don't know how to form a sentence yeah you're gonna have to give me give me a day yeah and then i woke up this morning i'm still yeah fog yeah not ready i finally got to the gym and that finally kicked some of the fog oh really it was a weak performance but i just like i shook up the system.

Yeah. Got a little sweat. I kept all the, you know, hoodie and sweatpants on and just did a weird, hangry, aggressive old man

workout in the corner by myself, adorning the Eagles shit, you know, staring at every fucking Cowboys fan. Yeah. God.

Should have bought some Super Bowl gear. We should have got a Super Bowl bowl hat but now we can get official one say i was there i would never wear super bowl gear before this no but that's like there's a charm in that you went you went to it yeah you got it if you got it there you went to it it's cruel yeah but yeah i've just been gaming i've been playing a lot of video games i'm back into i'm back into the game back into gaming you're gaming playing hell let loose figuring it out that's how i spent a lot of today is this the game with with uh shane yeah you guys online together

yeah i love how you're like i need to like really start working i need to you, you know, my days have to be scheduled. I know, I know. That's coming. That's tomorrow. You're like, you know, I'm going to get an Xbox. That's tomorrow. I'm going to waste eight hours a day. That's tomorrow.

It was just for the playoffs. There's only one way to get through the hangovers and the not having anything functioning to say. Just game out for a little bit. Man like i like the camaraderie in there in the gaming system yeah i do i like i like i like the teamwork it's a very team-oriented game it's very specialized you were in a headset too oh yeah did shane get you into this uh obviously well's always been, I've always watched him play video games, but this was the first one that I was like, I kind of need to be in that.

I need to see what's going on. It's very, it's like, yeah, it's great. There's no, it's like Onward where there's no like- Purpose. You don't buy a gun. You don't like buy like a special gun and have a weird costume.

You're just on a side. You got to choose like a special thing to be and rock and roll yeah yeah and the other kids in there are like super hardcore but you know they don't have like special stuff they're just like you know talking you through yeah how to take a hill do all these autistics go nuts when they know it's Shane? I don't think that... Is he talking to them? Nobody knows. Yeah, yeah.

Nobody really knows. It's just in there. It's Shane Gillis 269. Well, we always form a little battalion of our own. Just you and Shane? No, it's Shane, me, Billy, Spud. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Oh, you got a crew. Well, say that. Yeah, yeah. The fuck? That's why I said that. No, you never told me you had Billy and Spud in the crew. I just said it. I just said it. Yeah, Billy, Spud. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, you got a crew. Well, say that. Yeah, yeah. The fuck? That's why I said that. No, you never told me you had Billy and Spud in the crew. I just said it. I just said it.

Yeah, Billy and Spud are in there. Oh, it was on my phone. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Well, I'm happy for you, man. Yeah. Am I supposed to say that?

I'm a 40-year-old man. I'm glad you found that Xbox game that you really love. It's good. It gets me through the scary days. Yeah. I don't know. It might make it worse. No, it's good.

It's good. I think it'd just be like the overstimulation of like the audio and the gunning and having a stranger talk to me. The whole purpose of Scary Days is to lock and load, throw in Bourdain, and just watch seven hours of cooking. No, because a little bit of social contact helps.

You know what I mean? You have a conversation that doesn't matter and will never come back to you. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like in the 90s, you went, I'm going to go get a paper. I'm going to go.

I want to go to Wawa. I'm going to talk to somebody in line. They'll smack me right out of it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Because in the moment, you think everyone wants you to die. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And then you want to talk to fucking John Collins from around the corner. He goes, hey, Tommy. And then you go, oh, how you feeling, man? Yeah. I'm in a fucking hole. And then you feel comfortable because you're in a hole. Yeah.

I'm not the only one. Exactly. Or, you know, you just get to go there and they go, oh, how you doing? And you go, oh, okay. And not everyone wants to kill me. I'm okay. Right. You know what I mean?

Good to see you. I've missed you. I've been meaning to speak to you about what happened this weekend. You're running into a debt collector. Your old coke dealer. It's like the worst trip of all time. Your principal from high school still thinks you're fat and retarded. Oh, you can afford two bacon, egg, and cheeses, and where's my money?

Look who finally got a job, huh? No more painting in a shed you guys got room for one more can I buy an Xbox yeah get an Xbox get in there no I want to do the Oculus again I'm gonna yeah Oculus is good but this game's pretty fun

it's it's yeah you just get you get non-stop murdered yeah is it like is it very hard that as soon as you get realived you get fucking killed no no no you can like you can it's so like open you can kind of go anywhere like you if but if the combat's so fucking hard damn all our artistic fans who kicked off when we were talking about sports are going to be pissed. They didn't get this insider information to this game.

Dude, it is so hard to shoot somebody. It's crazy. Then why do you like this? Because your friends play it? No, because when you do work with a squad, it's fun. Okay, have you ever tried playing this game? Only one guy in your party has like a specific weapon to destroy tanks.

There's only one guy who can like set up like fucking respawn points. There's only one guy who's like a medic. There's only one guy. Damn. Who's like an officer. That gay that you're the medic? I've been the medic.

I've been the medic. I've been the medic. The whole time? I've been the medic. I've been the medic I've been the medic I've been the medic the whole time I've been the medic I've been the medic not the whole time but it was like one guy was already

one guy was already the respawn guy and I'm getting non-stop murdered I was like I gotta do something to help I gotta bring guys

back to life that's hilarious I'm just running around doing some revives yeah it's like playing street football and you're like, you know what you're going to do? You're going to get water for the whole squad.

And when you're the little brother, then you got to do it. And it feels good. The four-year-old little brother. Something that is. Dude, I have no idea what's going on. It's actually a great movie. The 40-year-old little brother just never got out of it

he's still getting fucked still getting crushed from his brothers you know you're the fastest boy in the family can you go get my shoes I'll tie you you go upstairs get my shoes you're like oh my face

that wasn't good at being the medic either oh my god dude medic sucks medic you're getting You're like, oh, my face. That wasn't good at being the medic either. Oh, my God, dude. Medic sucks. Medic, you're getting ripped to pieces. Who's the best player in the squad? Shane, definitely, but we're all kind of bad. Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of luck.

Why is he better? Did he put more hours in, or has he got a better shot? Yeah, he's more patient. He he put more hours in or has he got a better shot? Yeah, he's more patient. He's put more hours in. He'll set up somewhere and just wait to just fucking kill people. Yeah, yeah.

Whereas Billy Spud and I have been kind of just like... Bro. Yeah, yeah. The first time I played with Shane, he'd be behind a bunch of sandbags waiting and I'd be waiting and then I'd be like, hey, we got her. He's bored. Yeah, yeah, there's like the first time I played with Shane he'd be like behind a bunch of sandbags Waiting and I'd be waiting and then I'd be like, hey, we got his boy. Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna go to that next little grassy knoll dig in like jump over the fence

Yeah, all right redeploy Yeah medic yeah fuck dude yeah yeah I guess I do I do miss that I mean I do miss camaraderie it's fun what's nice about this is that it's like

it's super low stakes every time you get killed you just hop back in yeah and there's no like yeah there's nobody like jumping around

in a crazy way it's all just grown men yeah acting like working together yeah it's grown men acting like children playing yeah fighting as the nazis are you guys nazis sometimes you guys sometimes you're either american nazi or soviet oh it's world war i. Oh, it's World War II or I? It's World War II, yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah.

Again, you're always leading with the wrong thing. Now we're talking. And you're defending fronts or trying to... There's a couple different styles. There's one style where you're trying to run to the edge of a board and you're trying to just clear a board. Sometimes it's meet in the middle, conflict yeah sometimes you're just defending match play hold it down or get the flag yeah yeah it's just yeah you're just holding certain like areas and it'll like change as the other team

like overruns you or you man i can't believe i've asked so many questions dude it's it's i'm telling you you played a little play a little bit of it yeah you're going to love it. I bet it's fun. I bet it's fun. Everybody's got a headset? Yeah. I don't know if I could do that. It's so fun. I can't even wear cans on a podcast.

You could wear a headset. You would enjoy a headset. Yeah. Once you get in there. Why can't they figure out technology where you just put a little... Like earbuds in? Yeah. I'm sure you can.

I still call them air buds. What's the AirPod thing called? AirPods. They're AirPods. Yeah. It was basically an AirBud. Yeah, why can't you just use those? You might be able to.

Is it a hard wire or Wi-Fi? No, no, no. Yeah, it's Wi-Fi. It's goddamn, it's good. It's Wi-Fi. It's god damn. It's good. It's a good time. We'll cut all that. I'm sorry, dude. I want to know about the game, but Jesus.

Oh my god. You just dig in with your boys? Yeah. You just in a group chat going going you guys ready to hit the terrain yeah yeah anyone want to get loose yeah anyone want to be let loose yeah how many times you're probably with your girl and you're like yeah i could probably uh give me like 20 minutes yeah dinner's almost over it It's new, yeah. I thought we were going to watch this show.

Yeah. We can, a little bit. That's a new, yeah. I got to jump on this call. Once you start gaming, there's a lot of new battlefronts that open up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's playing Capture the Fang. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Come on. Top comment. Come on. No, but it is the best way to hang out with the boys and not get fucking drunk. You think I'm doing this sober, dude? You're out of your fucking mind. You got it.

That's bullshit. That's bullshit. That's crazy. Imagine if we played oxy with sober. True. I have. It's not the same experience. No. But this, you got to stay focused.

You got to be, you know. Nah, when you're Lucy dropping, you get a lot sharper. Yeah, there's a zone you stop hesitating there's a zone you trust your instincts they might be off but if you're in that perfect three to four beer range

headshots galore everybody's getting headshots I'm telling you dude headshots are hard to come by yeah is it bolt action yeah it depends some are bolt action some are yeah some it bolt action? Yeah, it depends. Some are bolt action.

Some is like a machine gun, but it fucking sprays all over the place. Dude, it's hard. It's very challenging. Are you in the back of a tank? Yeah. Sometimes you can get a team together and hop in a tank.

A turret? One guy's driving. One guy's in the turret. The other guy's spotting. Yeah. You'd be a good spotter. Dude, I want to be a spotter medic. Every time I get

in, because there's one group that's just recon, where you can just kind of go wherever, and you set up little respawn things, and it's just a sniper and a guy with fucking... I want to be the binoculars so bad. The binoculars. Yeah, the binoculars so bad. The binoculars. Yeah, the binoculars. Do you think old actual snipers and military vets

jump into this game to see how realistic it is? They go, what if I do that recon with me and my boy? I mean, it would be... Like if me and this guy shared sand time and he was my recon boy, he was the fucking, you know, three clicks left. Well, it is. Southwest.

It is the most, the most annoying thing about the game is that like fucking onward. Like you just look places. Yeah. It's awesome. You know, this is like, you have to adjust the speed at which you like move the gun. You know what I mean?

It's like you're dug in here i can't i have to like all the way turn around to see what's over there instead of just being like wait what why though you could do this in real life the only with the oculus in the video game you there's no way to separate like oh oh you're ahead i know what you're saying like yeah everything moves i think you're basically in a tank. I think we're saying in World War II, you couldn't do this. No, you can't.

But for a real guy in this game, he'd be like, well, this is crazy. If I'm the spotter, I'm just going to go like... Yeah. Instead of like, oh, hold on, the joystick's got to move my head.

Yeah. Well, that's why I hit got to move my head. Yeah. Okay, now I hit X. 100 hours makes you a good player. You start learning how to, I don't know, manipulate. I think so, yeah. Yeah. I got to make some adjustments setting-wise, but. Man, if you told me this first hour of the podcast would be mostly about video gaming,

after the greatest weekend Super Bowl win of our life, I would. Well, this is how you recover from a weekend of celebrating. The botchery. Yeah. You sit at home. Yeah. You talk into a headset. Wow.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know either, man. There's not much else there is to say, you know? Yeah. I got absolutely shit faced this weekend wire to wire watched the greatest

game ever yeah now it's just about getting back to normal now it's being sober and playing video games yeah man you're gonna be a blast

hopefully hopefully I gotta figure out how to set some charges in this game you gotta figure out how to blow some charges in this game you gotta figure out how to blow things up that's been a huge problem was that a play on words

because it said blast where we at I'm gonna piss 47 alright I can do that you can hold on yeah I can hold on.

Where'd you guys go before this? Did you go out to a nice dinner? Went to dinner, yeah. Nice. Where'd you go? Yeah, because yesterday we were fucking dead. We found a seafood place not too far from here that's really nice. It's called Salt.

Salt. Salt Lick? Salt Lick. I think it is called Salt Lick. Is it like a big... Does it have fire pits and stuff? Salt lick. I think it is called salt lick. Is it like a big fire pit? It's called salt traders. Salt traders. It's got great seafood, got mussels, nice fish and chips. I got some tartare, tuna tartare. That's what I need. I had so much meat this whole boys weekend I'm all meat it out yeah it was that I needed a cleanse and that's the cleanse fried cod it is it was I full stuff

french fries ketchup give me the grease me the basic yeah yeah oh man tartar would be wonderful yeah I mean my ass was also Throwing up foam For fucking four days So Oh my god Just fucking Rose blood bubbles

Flying out of my Dude Flying out of my shit Oh my god That was a bad It was a bad weekend Wish it never went That was the best

God it was the best Gotta change it Gotta change it up it was one of those weekends like you just don't it starts hitting you like i just started looking at videos and photos and stuff yeah i didn't take too many photos but the ones i got i'm like that was so yeah i didn't yeah so we didn't do we took two one photo together. It was at the end. Yeah, I got a picture of us in the seats. Was I there? Yeah. Yeah.

Where me and Tommy sit. Dude. I was doing blow with the dude behind us. Oh, man. Yeah, I just. Yeah, I didn't take, I didn't really take any videos of like the after party, the post game thing. I have little, I have little reels in my head of going up to Ian Book

and going, go Irish! And him going... I remember a lot of snippets. Yeah. I hung on to a lot of good stuff. Yeah? Yeah, which might be gone by... Yeah, I have nothing but scary, scary memories.

Dancing was fun. Dancing was fun? You were going fucking ham. Seeing Max. You were ripping it up. Little sass there was fun. Yeah. But then. I left right before that.

Everything outside of that is, yeah. Yeah. Disastrous. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Just nothing to say.

I mean, I went to a, yeah. A few things I'm not going to talk about, but. Yeah, just your ears ringing screaming in a girl's face going I can't literally hear you I can't hear you just wearing

Eagles gear so embarrassing thinking back it's like one of those experiences you go oh fuck Shane's buddy got one of those

one of the goggles Yeah, the goggles. I know he told me. It's got a Super Bowl logo on it. He scooped them at the after party. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Brilliant. When my daughter, Big X the Plug's favorite.

They were in the little waiting area. Which, by the way, that place was great. I ran into a couple old friends from Delco. My buddy Jeff Moore from iHeart was there. I ran into a couple old friends from Delco my buddy Jeff Moore from iHeart was there I ran into Caddy my boy

Cooch's younger brother's best friend I haven't seen in years probably just got slapped on the back just be like yeah where you been

you fucking greaseball and I'm like I don't know I'm sorry I've been living life outside of your fucking hell hole been down in Texas but yeah that little that little area that we had roped off was great sorry I've been living life outside of your fucking hell hole.

Down in Texas. But yeah, that little area that we had roped off was great. And then two hours later, everybody just, it was just salmon going upstream. All the salmon were models. The days were too long. Just hot women breaking

in front of us and lying. There weren't that many. There was like three girls that were clearly models. Yeah, yeah. All the things. They kind of looked like fish. Yeah. They were like aliens up close. Almost aliens.

But from afar, you're like, oh my God, that's the most beautiful angel I've ever seen in my life. Six two. I'm in line with a bunch of fucking hammers and they just keep breaking ahead. I'm going, come on. And I'm trying to yell at somebody, you know, ahead going, tell her no. Yeah.

And then finally some fucking meatbag behind me decided he was going to do the same thing and I put my hand on his thing, on his shoulder, and I was like, yo, there's a fucking line. They can fucking do it. It's Cooper DeGene. Yeah, I wouldn't know.

Hey, bud. Yeah, yeah. A little respect. I got purple coke falling out of my nostrils. He's got a big bottle of champagne. You know there's a fucking line here, pal. He's still got the goggles on. Nah, man. Take a piss.