Stuff Island - Throwing Darts - Stuff Island #191

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Get 10% off at Ridgewallet by using code STUFFISLAND at checkout! Again head to https://www.ridge.com and use code STUFFISLAND for 10% offyour first purchase Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's also something very disgusting about stand up with a fucking one of those earpieces or even a lav mic. I hate it. It's like a Ted talk. Ricky Gervais pulls it off well because he's just so quirky and his communication style is more story. So if it comes off like a one man story or like a a theater play Yeah, or you kind of ignore it whereas if I see a younger new age guy with a headpiece with a headpiece dude Yeah, my literally I get that cartoon fist beam like I get fucking

it's so fucking gross How you feeling you got that fucking I'm hung you got that I was with Shane this weekend We got after it last night Where were you San Jose? I saw yeah San Jose Got to fucking meet Nate Diaz for the first time. Yeah nicest dude in the world. Yeah Well when you meet him a second time, he's good. It's gonna be the first for him His squad is gonna kill you.

I know, they're great. They're fucking great. They're everywhere. They're a legion. Yeah, that picture's awesome, dude. You gotta start putting that to the wall. You know, I'm sorry, I'm starting, I know it's gay and corny sometimes, but like, showing that you actually do stand up as opposed to right now I just look like fucking Paula Dean

it's just like cookies and fluff it's like I do cool shit I do cool shit but you don't want to be like too corny and be like look how cool this is but yeah you got a pepper I'm in there going this is what I told myself I got to start posting some cool pics of things were actually doing yeah It's tough that I just reels fucking artichoke dip. That's why I put pause on that too. I was like I can't keep doing this Basically wearing an apron and they're doing cooking my walls me standing True you're my driver in every photo. It's like Rogan with a security, like that guy works for him. Does Instagram like food?

What do they do about food? Yeah, you seem to know all the rules about what Instagram likes versus what YouTube doesn't like. Yeah, I seem to know all the rules about what Instagram likes versus what YouTube doesn't like Yeah, I don't know. I know but there probably is something where it's like I Don't know that's engaging. I think that's nice, but they don't like you going from their platform to YouTube Is what you're saying, right? Yeah, if you try to drive it away It would just like are you saying we have to wear lav mics from here on out I think we got to get you a little earpiece like a boy band earpiece. We say I think we got to get you a little earpiece, like a boy band earpiece. Be sick.

Can you just play a video on Instagram live? You probably could. Could you just put Look At Dish and act like it's Instagram live? You just hold up a newspaper right before it? Yeah, you can run a IG live for however long Yeah, I don't know. Maybe yeah, we could do that Yeah, I don't know what do you put the phone? This is gonna sound ridiculous because I don't know anything you would hit record put it show the computer as things playing

I don't know what you do as if you're going live. I mean, you're gonna be away There's probably a broadcasting software that would do it better than that like you probably do it On the computer. I feel like Gardini does. Gardini gets hammered and he'll just like throw the phone up throw darts at the wall He did throw darts at the wall, listen to some music It is awesome. It's so funny. It is fucking awesome. He's smoking in his garage Just sitting in the garage throwing darts. Yeah, he's told me he's regretted every one of those when he wakes up. He told me the same thing. It's like truly texting an ex, you just, I can't believe I did that.

I had to take my lady's mom to the airport at like 5 a.m. or something like that. It was like 4 a.m. when I woke up and he was on live at like 4 a.m. throwing darts. I was like, what are you doing? I was like the only person in there. I was like, what are you doing? I've watched. I've watched it. It's great. It's great. It's also funny because for the first like three minutes, there's tons of people watching. They think it's going to turn into something. It looks like it's going to turn. It's got real, let me get my gun ready, fuck vibes. I know, because he gives the camera the death stare.

Yeah, one time I saw him pull the garage door open, and it's very eerie in there, dude. It's a scary place. We were talking about running up the steps of the basement as an adult fast. You see the inside of the garage like I'll come back later it's like that scene of good fellows we're fucking do you always go no down it down there down down there she goes okay I'll see you later Jimmy I

gotta go can you can you imagine what the suits go down can you imagine being a little kid sneaking out of your house you know going to see your girlfriend or whatever yeah and that's what I used to or meet up with your buddies, you know, yeah And then you just see fucking Gardini ripping Just like this is going live what the fuck Just turn around and run home listen to Steely Dan Dude in our old selection is sick our old location in South There used to be this dude that would just practice. He clearly had a job. He was an older dude.

He was like 50 years old, but he would practice music in his open garage. It was kind of nice. But then it was also like, I couldn't, the seesaw between it's a beautiful thing and how sad it was at the same time. Yes. Because he's singing like love ballads. Oh my God. Country love balance.

And he's clearly practicing for maybe a show just out of the garage. Yeah. Yeah, that's like 5pm, dude. It's a sad. He's clearly singing and the words I could hear was like, he's singing to a girl he lost. It wasn't like a hit. It was, it was his diary.

Like this guy made a song based on his life and he still thinks about her. He broke up with her in like high school. It's like, dude, save it for the stage, bro. I wonder if, I wonder if there's people that think about stuff like that. You know what I mean? That if you like almost like you said, Gardini regrets, they're doing those things, but if you wrote like a Pretty dope sad love song about somebody

I wonder if they're still just like I wish I didn't make that They know they know it's about them. It's a huge hit Yeah, but I feel like there's a way to hide that where you you take out a couple specifics So the girl actually gets jealous thinking like oh, I thought I was the one she doesn't know what's about her You know, you don't talk about a specific lake, you know talk about when she cried in his arms. Yeah Yeah, you don't give any location is different lake. Yeah, keep it a blanket Yeah hack fucking love song then she recognizes that too. She's like he tried to hide it More depressed I was gonna get back with him because it's a good This is so sad. You were sappy beavers going through it right now who Bieber

Bieber yeah, he was losing his goddamn mind. Yeah, apparently she was cheating on the whole time. That's what that's the information I gathered really I don't know But I heard she was like stalking him. I heard she's like, yeah, she's like a super fan Well, that's how they met, right? She was super fan, something like that. I can't believe we're going to talk about this. He groomed into the relationship. Yeah. Cause like they were like 13, 15 when they met or something like that.

Cause her dad's like really rich. And so he just kept buying her like meet and greet concert tickets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. He was setting her up like an Indian dad. It was like a village father.

What can I trade you for that hot bitch? My son wants to marry her and I'll come back next week if you say no. I love scrolling past like Israel, Iran news and just being like, what's going on with Bieber? Bieber's losing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a nice break. Bieber's crazy. I don't care about that other stuff. Well, what can he be so fucking angry about if she wasn't?

I think Diddy fucked him. No, we know that. Did he fucked him in the butt? It's coming all out. Yeah. I think everyone's like, damn, did he fucked you right in the butt? Yeah. And that's got to be hard to deal with, you know, as a new parent. That's why it's hard to do. Yeah. Well, also, like, you're just looking at your baby going- Dealing with the stress, dude.

And he fucks me in the butt and everyone knows. The psychological horrors. How can I be- Can I be a father? Who do I think I am? Yeah. You know, life's changing super fast. The psychological-

He's gonna start throwing darts at a wall. He's gonna put it darts at a wall. That would be awesome. He should take a page out of Gardini's book. He could get everyone back. Man, the numbers if he was just smoking a cigarette in an open garage. Hucking darts, playing music. I liked his album in like, I don't know, it was like 2015 where it's like, what was that one where they had some, he has some bangs.

Yes. Oh yeah. I think it was Purpose maybe where it's like, my mama don't like, she likes everyone. That album was great. Yeah. That's got peaches on it too, right? Yeah. That song slaps.

That song, he's got. Where Are You Now is good. Yeah. So good. Yeah, he's got some absolute bangers. Sorry. Yes. Sorry We're believers over here dude, yeah, don't let no bitch drag you down believer My I recognize that he was standing on business It was clocking yeah, I clocked it right away he said he said He was standing on business

Is it not clocking to you that I'm standing on business Indian guy holding a phone behind the camera. Tell us how you feel What is ailing you? I got yeah, I got I got shitfaced enough last night that I was saying Who you fight with yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll stand on business And I was standing on business Nothing like going to the bathroom a private jet and you fucking pussy. You're worthless. What are you doing out there talking to Sue?

Just going to let him keep talking to you like that. Staring at yourself in the mirror. Just him. God, this guy gets you every time. Where'd you guys go out? You go into actual bar? Yeah, we went to just whatever, some bar around the corner from Shane's bar. Did you get harassed?

No. Wasn't bad? No. No, we were just, we were sitting there, getting shit faced. LaMare was there. That was it. Damn. Who was on stage?

LaMare? And then we went back and we tried to watch The Wicker Man. I don't know what that is. It's a Nicolas Cage movie. Oh yeah. And I just passed out. You zonked. Yeah yeah. I tried. You ever were so drunk you're watching a movie and you're like I can't I cannot understand a single thing anyone's saying. Yeah and you got one eye closed. And you're just fighting your brain working so hard. Yes understand damn dude I get kind of frightened when when I close one eye to watch something I Realize how drunk my brain is my brain is floating in alcohol

Yeah, just you know just trying to look for a lifeguard and I just closed one Close one. I'm like we're back. We are back It's crazy to think that you can just funnel through this you know struggle through this movie yeah the knowing brains in a place where it literally can't take two images right single stream I'm going to 4k to 1080 We can no longer synthesize the two sets of visuals we're getting but the fact is See doubles not enough for me to go. Alright guys. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm like now. I'm in this mm-hmm Nick cage Now yeah, you just get you just get into the vibe

So is you James? And Mary Tino no the mayor wasn't there there. La Mer showed up when we were drunk. God, he shows up no matter what city you're in. No, no, no. That kid will knock on the door. We were in fucking, we were back. We flew back. Oh, in Austin. Yeah, and then just got, just kept the train rolling.

Santino, do you stand up? Yes. Ripped. Let's go. He's got a new special coming out. I already just taped it. Yeah, he ripped. It was a fun time. I got ripped. Take a San Jose. It's also like beautiful weather. Yeah. Beautiful weather. Yeah.

It's great. I forgot. That weather could be that nice. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't know. I've just been like so I've been in Texas just Stinky sweaty soup. This is a nice week here. It's only like 95. I Went to the pool I broken that pool that I used to go to in South. Oh I took my brother. My brother was in town for fucking fish. That's a great day So I took him and his beautiful wife out every day thinking

It was gonna be relaxing, but he's a fucking yeah, he gets a stone-cold animal It's got my girl rolling joints for him. That is I must brought him chocolates to the concert Yeah, that boy's got no fucking chill That rules we'd fun though. Just went to some restaurants. He came to a couple shows of the mothership. Was it the first time? I don't know if I can tell this story. He told me a devastating story. I did?

No, your brother. About what? Right before he came down. Oh yeah, we could talk about this. He literally every time, so him and his boys listen to Stuff Island. Dude. Shout out the Electricians Union Philadelphia They love us. Yeah, and he gets word. He's like you got a stuff. Keep my fucking name out of your mouth When he came in so the night before sorry Steve

We got a time man my boys hungover We gotta eat time man my boys hungover dude Funny brother so much like you he like he was like I don't want to bring you down nothing But yeah, you can tell you couldn't wait to tell me After shows because I don't want to bring you down, but I gotta get this off my chest Dude, that's how you know it's real. Because he came in fucking shell shocked. He came to visit me the morning of their trip. And he's like, I was like, you are too. He's like, something fucked up happened yesterday. He's like, I can't get it out of my head.

And I was like, I'm like, this is my world, dude. Give me the fucking. So they're working on a job site that's very, very expensive, not expensive, but very dangerous. And there apparently was this one crew doing. Job site that was very very expensive not expensive, but very dangerous and There apparently was this one crew doing The I don't I don't have to say this correctly, but basically putting up rock on the side of this high-rise building went up, you know over 10 12 stories and

Rocks were falling down while he was doing electrical inside and it would be banging on stuff And it would like banging on stuff and it would like you know well they said it was a fucking heat wave so it was like it was 100 degrees yeah so philly was hotter than in texas so we so will you imagine they're all in full work gear so if it's 110 us it's fucking 140 of them yeah it's like roofers here like it's 20 degrees hotter if you're lucky I feel like anyway here to boom the fucking something felt heavy on this giant Basically imagine like a big metal propane tank, and he just thought it was like another rock

But he went out there to see what was up, and it was just a dude Yeah, some dude was a dude like Peter Griffin's at the bottom of the step It was a dude like Peter Griffin at the bottom of the steps. Like you said one arm was this way, the one leg was that way, and he was like puffing his last breast. He popped. He's like, I just wish I'd never walked out there. I can't get out of my fucking head. And then he brought up like the next day and he like kept talking about, so I guess he was like, Chris, you know Tommy, right? Can I tell you a story? Poor guys going through it. That's brutal. And I was like, oh my god, what did this happen like years ago? He's like no, it's Tuesday. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Imagine just Standing. Imagine just wearing the face of death for the whole week going to a fish concert high on drugs. Or you see his flashes of a dead Mexican. Dude, he was saying it was so hot that he... Is the Mexican folding like a pizza? He had an eighth of mushrooms and he's just having flashbacks. Is his face everywhere? Yeah, he's just gonna see dead bodies and hear like

Seeing dead bodies to a fucking jam man Mushrooms might be hell Purgatory Should clean you right up Traumatizing traumatizing. Well, I hope you feel better Steve Hope it wore off a little leaving the jam ice did the jam did you get out? Yeah, they jammed it out We got some we got some barbecue on Sunday before they left then we get We got some sushi went to uchi bar on Saturday. No, I went to

ATX Cochina went to a pool Or to a country bar That's music Tried to give him like a little bit everything. Yeah, my dad do some square dancing No, there was only dancing was like early afternoon because we had to catch the happy hours for for them before they went to the concert Oh, right, right center But it was fucking great, but that was on the heels of Miami. So it's like I was a walking zombie. Yeah

Yeah, it's too much almost too much family time a little yeah You got to be on there's always somebody asking to come through. Well, you're going somewhere else No, it's nice But you know you never get fucking a date yourself the one day to yourself your girls got a whole list of things like you Said you're gonna put up the curtain. You're gonna do this. Yeah. Yeah. I want to do nothing Yeah, I want to watch. I wanna watch Andor. It beat off every 30 minutes. Get in a nice cycle.

Chris, do you have a nice 20 minute wrap up of Andor without any jokes? Dude, Andor is a great show. I remember it being wonderful the first season. I, there's, yeah, it's so good. It's on Disney Plus? It's on Disney Plus. It's exactly what you want. It's fucking Star Wars, and it makes sense.

Without the trannies. And there's- yeah, there's no- it is- it is a problem. It's like they finally gave it to some guys who like knew what the fuck they were doing. White? Yeah. For real. They kept giving it to lesbian ladies. Yeah. They're like, well now every- You're the king. Every woman's it to lesbian ladies. Yeah. They're like, well, now every woman's got a lightsaber.

Right. And they can do this. And you're like, yeah, sucks. Yeah. You know what I mean? The lead guy is Spanish, right? Yeah. Yeah.

But he's just capable. He's capable as a man. Yeah. Yeah. No. He's believable is what I'm saying. He's believable. Dude, his backstory is sick. He dude his backstory sick, he's got a sick backstory he's bad as a human or Yeah, what's his backstory Chris? Well in the show?

No in the show his back so I was a person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah actor. Yeah Yeah, what's his backstory his back stories? He's like a little kid He's a little like he's like a like one of those people like in the Amazon, basically like those people that are untouched by civilization. OK, and. Yeah, this lady comes and just like takes him. The kidnaps is well, they're the empire is going to like the empire, fuck something up, and now they're going to destroy like the.

Yeah, that was in season one, right? Yeah, yeah, I remember this man. All right. This episode is brought to you by rocket money you guys, you know it you love it It's it's the best way to save money Really, you know all your apps that you're using all your Yeah, different services you're paying for you know, yeah Maybe you move somewhere and you got a car wash thing. I told you my like to last month were a dog park and a car wash Rocket money's got to fight the dog park. I'll fight the car. I Get my hands dirty with those mother rock your money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions

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Get your wallet and your keys in order. Enjoy the episode. Yeah. And the ladies like I'm taking this kid. Yeah, he's gonna get slaughtered Yeah, let's just get him and get the fuck out and now he's a Jedi then they rate Yeah, then she raises him up then he gets a little look gets in a bit of trouble looking for his sister Yeah, some guys try to fuck with him He accidentally one of them accidentally gets killed then he has to kill the other guy Yeah, and now the Empire's like who the fuck is this dude killing people?

I love these stories of like kidnapped kidnapping children and giving them like the better Yeah life cuz if they should make a movie where they it's like a savage that kidnaps his kid like we had to save this dude They just fuck him in the basement What is it That's another show that I'm watching. What is it? I thought that was a brilliant concept. Some other maniac wrote this? Dude, I started watching the show Department Q because Matthew Good's in it and I like

Matthew Good a lot. And yeah, there's a lady that just, they keep this lady in a tank. Some lady gets abducted and they just keep her in a tank for years. What kind of tank? Like a sleep deprivation? I don't know. She's like a tank.

It's like, she's in a large propane, like the thing that got laid out. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, she's just inside that. They just throw food down to her? Yeah. She just shits in the tank? Yeah, and they play really annoying DJ music. Oh, this is fucking her out. This is Abu great

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, you're watching the US Army doing their work She's like a lawyer the show is actually I think not good. Yeah, but I keep watching it. Yeah I'll watch anything dude Yeah, I'll peruse peruse through any topic any next I like the first episode I watch the whole fucking is whole season is sitting. This is just I just keep I like Matthew good I keep watching it, but it's it's not going anywhere. Yeah, there's just this lady in the tank Which is also like really out of left field. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, well, how is this?

She's in a tank in a warehouse. It feels like just cheap lady, cheap drama that are like fucking with them. Yeah, they're like, the story's too boring. Let's get a bitch in a tank. You know, let's get her. But it starts kind of cool because like Matthew Goods, like a detective, and they go into this house and this guy's been killed, he's got like a knife in his head.

Yeah. And there was like a little officer like waiting to let them in and uh They'd showed up before all the other cops and they go in there and he's like did you know They're like talking about the crime scene. He's like, did you check all the fucking doors and stuff? He's like no. No Well fucking go check the doors get check the fucking windows you fucking pit What the fuck you doing you piece of shit and the guy's like, alright And he walks into the kitchen and a guy just steps out and blows And then shoots the the two detectives and then runs out yeah, so it's a comedy Dude that reminds me that what's that?

Murder Doc on Netflix of that father of two two girls kills his wife. Because he started hooking up with the one in Colorado. Yeah. Yeah, because of those big tankers walks these two daughters up the ladder. Yeah, Barry's his wife God like a little bit further down in like two inches

I got in one and then walks his girls up drops one in and then Tells the other girl and they're like, why are you doing this daddy and she's like holding onto the edges Yes, I got the biggest relationship fights ever Watching that. Yeah. Yeah about what were you on his side? What's the fight about? What are you guys fighting about? I was like... You got differing opinions about what happened? I mean...

Holy shit, Chris. Well, dude... What did she say to him? Dude, they don't investigate that at all. You don't fucking walk your children off fucking 20 foot ladder on Siler understand I understand I get cutting her head off buried in three places But like That when when he first got in a relationship with this lady his family was like fuck this woman

She's horrible. They didn't go to the wedding Everyone in his entire life was like he was a totally normal like sweet fine guy and Then he starts, you know living with this lady and all of a sudden he cuts her fucking head off and buries his kids And yeah, well, I mean something happened and they're like they don't they don't You know that doesn't just happen yeah, well, I mean something happened and they're like they don't they don't You don't that doesn't just happen. Yeah, well objectively Nothing that bad could warrant that action Even if she was putting her hands on it's like you could still go to a divorce lawyer go finally

I'm out of this fucking thing. I'm just that's the trick. I think there's you like a bitch on hit Yeah, I think there's an interesting story there or you pay a fucking hot trainer To fuck her and you're in on it It's it's the same thing as hiring a hitman to kill your husband or wife. Oh, you hire a hot trainer Yeah, you make an offer. They can't yeah, you give them a lot of money more money Yeah, and you say please fuck my wife. Yeah, do whatever it takes record. I want documentation I'll take that right to Mike and then I get full custody. Yeah, and then I decide when I'm gonna drop my kids no fucking back The kids the kids in the tank that is the scariest most frightening thing to fucking horrific and

disgusting and unnecessary totally unnecessary That's what my boy I get the guy get the wife saying I could I could see somebody getting pushed to the hedge. Something happened something that that lady did something and he did it all for this. A fitness trainer. Yeah, she was all right. It was a five.

Iowa five. I don't remember. Did they talk to her after. I don't know. I think she just chosen not to opt into that Yeah, I mean I'm sure she's dressed dressing like a man in some different state. Yeah fucking which it all you imagine

No, could you imagine let's say you're genuinely in love and someone's in in a marriage I think they did show did show up at your door and they're like, I fixed it. Yeah. And you're like, you finally divorced her? Well, yeah, sit down. I'm going to put on a documentary. My God. Where are the kids? They're all right. Yeah. And he acted like she just, they had a problem. She just disappeared. He put on that act forever, dude. And that one scene, what's it called if you don't mind looking it up? The just video of documentary Netflix, dad kills wife and two kids. There's one scene where it was like the umpteenth

time that this detective came to the house just to get checkups on like, have you heard anything? Have you got this? You got that? And this was at this point that the neighbor had noticed on the ring cam that at this very odd hour, he sees the neighbor's truck, the guy who committed the crime pulled backwards into his garage, shut the garage and then leave with like, you know, r rugs and the wife in a rug and then all these big bags. A little rug.

And then come back with nothing and the family's gone. They finally showed that to the police and I don't know what the holdup was, I forget. And the police were talking to him in the living room with the neighbor who ratted him out. He still doesn't know what's going on. And the cop's like, like I want to check this I want you see something and it just shows the cam

And he's like is that your truck and you see the do go Yeah, that's my truck and then it's you could see it on his face go It's all over. Oh my now they know and that was the beginning of his fucking hell shoot yourself in the head. Oh, he's too weak I don't even shot himself in the head after he killed his wife You're strong enough to push two kids into a fucking silo to die. That's insane Then you can you can fucking shove your head in the oven It's called American murder the family next door, yeah Netflix American murder the family next door I'm just saying look, I'm not saying he's in the horrible horrible the worst person on earth. I'm just saying that lady did something

She was like a social media influencer. Yeah, did you know she she will like on Facebook? So was the other one that was apparently killed in the fucking in the desert. Oh, yeah Yeah, he was like I had enough of your fucking 12 you count social influencer. What that guy did the same thing that this lady did. She dragged him out to like Nowheresville. Yeah. Made them live there. Yeah. Away from his family. Away from everybody. Yeah. Well, she was the breadwinner. Oh, she was making $300 a month on YouTube. I'm saying. She's a monster. Just take this show on the road. Let's go through the Mojave Desert.

Get buried. Fuck. That was another weird one. They didn't like the Gabby Petito thing. They just left you hanging. Yeah. You're like, why? What's going on with that family?

Yeah. I wonder if there's like contracts where you can't if the family says, OK, you can make a story out of this because you just gave me a couple of million dollars, but you can't tell certain details. And they're like, oh, what details? They're like, well, that the woman who got killed deserved. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, deserved it No, no, no You can't use any of that. I'm not I don't think gaby deserved i'm saying like the family the fucking when they like They're searching in the jungle for fucking yeah

Days and days and days and can't find them and then the parents walk in and they find them in like 30 minutes Yeah, like oh here's his hat There's his body, yeah, yeah, it like, how did you find that so quick? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's not enough. It's definitely not because we walked out here with him when he shot himself. It's just like First 48, all the crime shows that were once a series have become so prominent

because people are sick like me and they want to watch true crime, murder stories, all the drama that you you can't possibly get out in film form fast enough. So show me reality television. First 48 fucking beautiful. First one. That's good. First 40. It's amazing. And they got first 48 follow ups with the families families like a year later, two years later. It's like Shark Tank follow ups. Get me all hard. Now, I think Netflix is probably in a boom where they see the numbers that these one

off crazy story documentaries and murders. These happen every year and every part of the world hundreds of times. And I'm talking unique ones, not the millions of murders. I mean ones that are like, now this is a story. You know, this priest was teaching this fucking kid soccer and there's so many things that web into it. You go, that's the one, let's get it going. They probably have.

There was a good Asian one where the kid just kept putting people's bodies in bags of kimchi. Really? Yeah, wait. You never saw that? I don't think so. Yeah, he would, he would, he was just killing hookers, like at an insane clip. It was like, it was like, just for months a week, ferment them in kimchi. He put them in a bag of kimchi and then take a cab out to some like building and just bury the body in the kimchi. So the natural fermentation decomposed and saved.

I don't know if he put the kimchi in the ground, he just had the kimchi to cover up so the cab driver would be like, that's a lot of kimchi. Yeah. And be like, yeah, I'm cook. My father owns a restaurant. And then one day they were digging back there and they found like, I think it's like.

Shit load of kimchi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 6,000 bowls of kimchi. kimchi is like 40 bodies. Yeah Yeah, it was like it was like an uncleaned like kitty. Yeah. Yeah, do you think it's just bodies everywhere? Just prisoners that have Ability to watch if they give them like they go ahead and they see this and they're like fucking kimchi Yeah, I never thought of that. Yeah, Never thought of burying this bitch with kimchi. Well, it's a very like Asian specific. Yeah. Yeah.

It'd be weird if I did it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Italian guys got huge. I was like, look, I got a cooking show. I'm doing different stuff. Yes. Garlic. Just giant bags of garlic. Well, now, I guess the old old days it was just lime, right? You would just scatter that lime all over them.

That would help decompose the body. Yeah, but the kimchi is brilliant because it hides the scent too. It's gotta be easier ways to get rid of a body. Every time I pass the woods. I think I think about it. You know how hard it should it should be to find a body. Yeah, or just dissolve it. You know how hard it should be to find a body? Yeah. Or just dissolve it. Pop somebody in the trunk and drive to some crazy state that's not yours so they can't

trace it. Is acid still the best way to dissolve a body? Yeah, I imagine so. But you got to put it in plastic, not a tub. Yeah, it's just like you see all these magicians doing crazy like tricks. And you go, how come you can't just do that with the body? You know what I'm saying? Did you see the thing where the kids like I've the mentalists because magic's not real. No, I know.

But why? Kimchi is. But it's still. He's not going to make a woman disappear dude I saw him put a some put a fish in Aaron Rodgers hands without touching him You tell me he can't yeah get rid of my body Yeah, he just carries his kid to a silo goes Don't yeah, you can't I mean come on your five-year-old head smack the perfect ring

Those guys are so good Watching that dude Justin Willman. Do you see his he did like he has like a little comedy magic special. I've seen some clips Yeah, it's fucking great. Yeah Yeah, that's gotta be a tough. I don't know. That's a tough road figuring out magic. I Don't know how they do it. I don't think I could ever fuck with somebody. They have to be the best of the best. And even after you talk to those guys, you're like, oh, you're an insane person.

Yeah, you got it. If your whole your whole life is making little tricks. 12 to 18 hours a day. Yeah. Tricking people. Yeah. But also the guessing the pin numbers. Yeah. Guessing like bank account pins. Yeah. Oh, that Rogan clip. people. Yeah, but also the guessing the pin numbers. Yeah guessing like bank account pins Yeah, that Rogan clip. Yeah. Yeah, that guy's great. It's fucking unbelievable. Yeah He'd I saw him do it to Shane Really? Yeah, Shane had like a nickname for a buddy when he was like in elementary school

That nobody had heard. Yeah, and he was like, yeah, I got it in my head and and he like Fucking Oz wrote a bunch of fucking letters on a card. Yeah, and then burned Some of the card and just the letters disappeared and the only letters left were the nickname of his buddy. Yeah, that's insane It's crazy. Yes, the mentalist type shit that kind of fucks me up Because I know all the other sleight-of-hand stuff is fake you know, there's like a there's a I've seen before there's like a YouTube channel where the guy shows you how all these famous magicians get their shit Yeah, I know they all want to kill him

My they take it very lively hood. Yeah, but it's always like a string Yeah, there's a guy levitating a pen and yeah, yeah mothership and I like did you do one of these? I was almost did and I didn't and I was like if I had done that how mad would you be and he was like I'd kill you He so he did have the what like fishing wire So then he then he was there like the next night and he was doing it for someone else sitting in the booth and the light was hitting the string. Yeah. Oh, man.

I can see the little. Yeah, that's minor league type shit, though, you know, stuff. You started working on a great. Yeah. But. You were there when that guy put the watch under the watch. Yeah, it's crazy saying that, dude, that was a whole different guy. Yeah, it was a completely different guy. That guy was incredible. That was at the Niners Fourth of July party.

What do you do? He was some fucking magician and he like ripped up a piece of card, told him to put it in somebody's top pocket. Right. Then he didn't fucking. I think he the way I remember it was he had the deck and he was like pick a card the guy picks a card he's like look at it he looks like the the victim looks at it puts it back in the deck shuffles the deck up and then he like you know boom and he snapped and the card was under his watch folded up folded up. Yeah, crazy. And it's like, how right?

Is that possible? Like you didn't feel like, yeah, they didn't feel it go in there. They can't feel the difference. Yeah, that was like the second one he did in front of me. And I ran away with like a black dude. Yeah, it was insane. Also, what a sick thing to do. Yeah, sick at a party.

Just be like having a legit. It was a Fourth of July, but it was a drunk party. Yeah. And it's like just have a magician walk around and fuck with people. It's great. He was a goofy motherfucker. Yeah, they always are. Yeah. Yeah, they're all like they're all Jack They always are. Yeah. Yeah. They're all like, they're all Jack Sparrow-y.

Yeah. They're all a little. Yeah. They have a dark energy. They're all a little Jack Sparrow. You don't want to hang out with them. Yeah. I had, there's that dude here, that Wes, Wes guy.

Do you know him? Have you seen him around? He pops around the comedy clubs a lot. He does that show. Do you remember I did that show that you dropped me off at at Roscoe's and I had to go do a magic trick before my set. Yeah, that was his show. Yeah. It was the worst set up for a show. Wait, is this the guy I met at the release of the film? That Josh? No, no, that kid's got magic, that kid's got magician energy. Doesn't he? All right, so

don't say his name. So he's just a comic or is he in film? He's a film dork. Oh, okay. So I met this dude in film. I told Josh immediately, because he knew him. I was like, is that guy a magician? Because he had that creepy Jack Sparrow magician energy.

Where he has black hair that fades into his skull a little. And he's wearing fashionable clothes from 30 years ago. Just weird creepy Vegas shit. Like bedazzled jeans. Yeah, and something tied. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like right here.

It's like why did you tie something on? They always dress like mid-westerners who go on a trip to a metropolitan area and they think fashionable like what they think is fashionable they go to like Deb or Spencer's and they're like it's like how a little girl gets ready for New York City yes yes and then they get to New York City like oh it's fun I used to date a girl that she she grew up poor and she would take like the least fashionable risks and then she came out to new york and I was like she it's just like the most basic white girl stuff Yeah, that's kind of sad

That's great. It's kind of sad to me. It's like when I don't know my dad got new sneakers to come to austin. I like when old people get brand new kicks to go on trips It's adorable. It's sad It's like you see them at like Payless going we're going to Austin next month and they get like new walking sneaks. You know what it is? It's like Applebee's for your anniversary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure was great. Yeah, I'm sure it's great. But it's.

Yeah. Gearing up for tourism is so funny. You get a new hat. Yeah, and everything's squeaky clean too. You go to Mills Fleet Farm for a new hat. Yeah, you got to, you got to, you got to dirt, dirt up them sneaks. You get all white sneaks, dad. You got to put some scuffs on them too. Make it look good. You can just come out of the box.

It's got the fresh kicks. It's the op, like guys I'm from Iowa so when I go home it's like You have like a plain black nice t-shirt on there like what are you gay now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you from the future? Yeah, where's your camouflage pussy? That's an uncomfortable feeling. You don't have a mesh hat with fucking dip spit on it. Yeah.

All of a sudden you're in a tux. There's no fishing lure on your pockets Yeah, that's a thing. That's a trend that was in my high school Kids would wear like shirt, you know, like car hearts with pockets and they put like their fishing lures on like an earring for your shirt Oh my god Thing that was yeah, that's like just Mason City, Iowa. That's like the Midwest version of like yeah glasses with no prescription. Yeah Yeah, I got this one a bass bro. Shit. This is a facker with fishing lures in her nipples The chicks probably thought it was so hot. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's we're like

Yeah, they probably saw kids without lures and we're like pussy Like, yeah, they probably saw kids without lures and were like, pfft. They're like pfft. Clearly doesn't get it. Yeah, this guy fucking. Can't bring that guy home. This guy can't fly fish for shit. Did you ever see someone use it? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, they did actually. Yeah. It was, I mean, yeah. There'd be people. Was there that much fishing going on? There was a lot where I was from. Like a lot of people still, dude, we had like a-

Just Bassmasters? Yeah, dude. We had like a trap shooting team in my high school. Like kids would like, they'd be like, I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna go to the gym. That much fishing going on there was a lot where I was from like a lot of people still dude We had like a jazz master. Yeah, dude We had like a trap shooting team in my high school like kids would like bring that's fucking awesome

Yeah, my brother won state trap shooting really yeah, which is like such an odd thing dude. That's Hard yeah, he's like insane Holy shit shot at state of the you got like 49 out of 50 of the clay pigeons or whatever Holy shit like at the time I was in like sixth grade seventh grade when he won He's a freshman that didn't won and I mean I didn't understand or appreciate it But now that I'm older I was like that was crazy. Oh, it's so hard when they start mixing up the angles. Yeah, yeah Those ones that those ones that like yeah going deep is hard to it's not a shoot it right out of the trap. I Mean we had like a kid get in trouble because like this is just where the type of place

I was like some kid brought his shotgun to school because he had trap shooting practice and like didn't even think twice about it and everybody People are low-crawling I just saw a controversy of some fishermen that won like the state title Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah the fucking MJ of bass fishing. And they got a footage of him using like a they there's like a I don't know how to speak retard, but it's one of them there. I guess it's like one of those three prong hooks that like if you feel a nibble on one, you can like pull it.

Oh, and it was like it'll just grab the side of him. It's just like a side catching hook. So he was pulling up like giant bass from like the side of him. Oh, well, that seems like it's still talent. Oh, I thought you were saying he's like pulling up like a lobster pot. No, no, no. Giant bass. No, but he's pulling up like big fat boys that like take. I don't know, like they can typically outsmart the process

Oh, just normal luring where he would just troll at the bottom And just try and call these fat boys up and then win the contest cuz of how big they are And people were like that's impossible. He just he broke the record like three years in a row Somebody get out there and follow him. They just put some hillbilly in the bush Somebody get out there and follow him. They just put some hillbilly in the bush like fucking Videotaping maybe I don't understand how that's an issue though because that seems like he's just like good. Well, there's legal It's like football saying like this guy's on steroids It's a lure on steroids. Yeah, you're cheating the system. Yeah. Yeah, I could see I could see how that would be Yeah, I'm sure they have regulations about like it's like the regulations around like golf clubs and shit Yeah, you can't just show up with a true true golf club. Yeah, I'm sure they have regulations about like it's like the regulations around like golf clubs and shit

Yeah, you can't just show up with a yeah true true golf club. Yeah, right. Yes, I mean people cheat the system People use like diamond coated sand wedges. So it gets it creates spin instead of cuz they don't know how to swing You know what? I don't like I don't like in baseball. The catcher can't use his mask to touch the ball Yeah, I don't know what that's all about. It's like, why not? Yeah. You should be able to use anything. Yeah, I don't know if that started as like a safety protocol in the fucking 50s or something

because they forget to put it back on. They get smashed in the fucking mug. Old Flatnose Johnson. God damn. I don't like the, I don't like the balk rule in baseball. Balk is insane. It's the biggest bullshit. It's not. Cause if you don't call that, most balks come off

a steal. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you don't call that you can do whatever you want and it's hard for the base runner to get a lead. I just don't like the, there's like, there's the balks where it's like obviously someone's like winding First of all I don't really understand it because I've seen guys Pull their leg up like they're pitching and then fucking gun it somewhere

We have to step then I've seen a guy go like this and go like this and they're like it's a balk Yeah, you're like, yeah What the fuck yeah, I don't know I got caught I used to get called for balking all the time. Yeah Yeah, I was like a freshman. I stopped pitching afterwards cuz like I don't know. I got caught I used to get called for balking all the time. Yeah. Yeah I was like a freshman I stopped pitching afterwards cuz like I don't my coach looked at the I didn't I don't understand what I was doing either I was just I mean I was I saw real recently. There was a guy who's like the balk is There is no rule

It's just like it's like it's up to discretion kind of just do whatever they want It's that's why he's like he was saying that it's like it's really rude if someone yells balk. And like from the crowd. Yeah, yeah. Or like from the dugout. Yeah, like that's a balk. Yeah. People are like, fuck you, dude. What he's saying, it's rude from what other players perspective.

Yeah, because you could call a balk like on anything like. Yeah, but it's also just to stir him up. What is isn't a balk? maybe I'm misremembering. Is it not just like, yeah, but isn't it just like a, uh, you're interrupting the cycle of the pitch, right? Is that essentially what it is? Yeah. Yeah.

But there's a thing that once you get set, you have to throw. Yes. Right. I think that's the thing. Like, so then you wind up, cause I used to get in trouble. If you're here throw yes, right. I think that's the thing like so then you wind up because I used to get You're here. You're fine. Yeah. Well, that's why they go From a wind-up. Yeah the step into the step. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

Because if you start winding up the first baseman the first base runner is just take off immediately because you have a whole nother Yeah system. That's why they lead like this. I think the pitch from... Baseball's got a bunch of unwritten rules that I think are dumb too. You're not supposed to... If you're up by six or more points, you're not supposed to swing hard. It's like you're not supposed to hit a home run if you're up by like five points. It's like, yeah, it's like a gentleman's rule of like, you're not supposed to run up the score. It's like, it's like bullshit. It's like, no, you gotta run. Some of the best pitchers only pitch from the stretch. So there's a wind up and then there's a stretch.

Yeah. And they just do it because they learn that way because knowing there's going to be a base runner. Yeah. I don't like when people throw like submarine either. It's like, you're a freak. I like that. I like a freak. That pisses me off, dude. I love a freak. They don't come around people throw like submarine either. It's like you're a freak. I like that. I like a freak that pisses me off, dude

I love a freak. They don't come around too often. No, they freak me out, too. They oh they never last It's real bad for you. Yeah Contorting your body in a way you get Tommy Jones in like your father. Yeah, you're fucked. Yeah Damn, I would that be such as being a DH in baseball would be so fucking dope. That's gotta be so hard though You're not getting that many reps. Yeah But just coming up to bat clean up, it's just great have a cool walkout So it's a lot of pressure I think is the tough part is like cuz if you're if you're Yeah, yeah, you're just like fuck dude. I suck. I should die

So I feel today. Yeah, that's how I am That real that heavy suicide this morning, you know We got to bleep that out, right? Yeah, yeah, you know when you're hungover as fuck They're probably hitting you a lot harder because you don't get him as often anymore. No, I always I learned how to back backstroke through my suicide. Your head's always swimming in liquor. He's going. Yeah, yeah. More of a noose. Yeah, yeah. You're like, again with this? Yeah, I told you I'm not gonna jump off that. The bottom. Oh My god, do you get to any visualizations or you're just like I fucking hate everything?

It's you know, it's it's like your whole life is just a charade, you know what I mean? Yeah, this is what are you doing? You're fucking the biggest idiot of all time every interaction you've ever had in your entire life people turn around and go look That's a bit strong that's that's how I say 25 When you're the anxieties hit and you just imagine literally everyone's turning away going yeesh Did you bat you show your ass this weekend you blackout? Oh? Yeah, I was I didn't do anything bad, but I was mostly just hammered. You know what I mean? Then when you get a certain level of drunk, you wake up the next morning and you're like, everything I said was stupid and unnecessary.

Nobody wanted to hear any of that. You know what I mean? Even if you're like, can I get a Guinness? Even if you're like, okay get a Guinness Yeah, you're like, it's also as bad It's also I have it too, but it's also a very self-absorbed thought process Of course thinking that they remember unless you yeah unless you really did something fucked up. No one's remembering anything You said yeah, you know what I mean in reality. It's just like yeah, it's great And if if my girl was like, what'd you guys talk about? I'd be like, you know There's no

Recollection, you're not having serious talks. You're busting balls pointing out something you just go. I don't know. I just fucking My time travels for four hours. Yeah. Well, this is also a big reason why you like You know when you you you know, you get in you start the drinking late like everyone's been drinking and you try to catch up it's why you always overshoot it you know what i mean because you think everyone's drunker that's why i started before anybody yeah yeah yeah water's one way don't dive in the three foot section head first it's That's such a funny thing, just like a version of that like, footsteps poem. That's when I carried you? I've always been here.

It's me, you and Shay. You guys love me, why are there only two sets of foot? Well that's when Tommy carried you. You came in too hot. He was drinking the whole time. Yeah. If your mother didn't have footsteps poem on your fridge, are you even Irish?

She said that two things that bother me is the footstep magnet and the coexist bumper sticker. What a fucking Subaru that dyke. Your mom had a coexist bumper sticker? Yeah, because, it's super that dyke your mom had a coexist Yeah, cuz she's a nurse. That's why Shout out to whoever came up with that bumper sick, it is gonna be one of the all-time guys on a yacht not existing with anybody Solo existed. Yeah, he's Caribbean hookers Pat McAfee or or whatever Yeah, he hates all religions, but he made money off him just like they all do dude. What yeah, I Wonder what I wonder who came up with that. Can you look up who came up with the coexist bumper sticker? It's my mom

Yeah, it's like Halliburton Fucking black rock. Yeah It's like fucking black rock. Yeah, it actually doesn't. It's unknown origin. Yeah, it's got an unknown. It's just a matter of like who actually patented it first, which I don't think is. It says. OK, it's by.

Pure Moldovaniac. Oh, wow. graphic designer from, that was born in the 50s. Wow. Moldozniak. I mean I probably butchered that but that was... I thought it'd be like a Buddhist. That looks pretty good. Peter with the spelling P-I-O-T-R. Is he from the Soviet Union? Warsaw, Poland. Poland. People's Republic. What year? 1950? He was born in 1956. Who knows when that sparked him. In 2001, he designed the co-exist sign commissioned by the Museum on the Seam in Jerusalem.

I was just going to say, so he's post World War II. Yeah. Poland got wiped out. All of his education through his adolescent years are gone. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time.

He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. He's been in the military for a long time. seem in Jerusalem. I was just gonna say so he's post World War II. Yeah. Poland got wiped out. All of his education through his his adolescent years are death to his people and he's thinking

God we should just all coexist. Yeah. Yeah. It takes a war-torn history to think of something so gay like that. I mean my mom had that yeah I mean no I get it but everyone's mom had that yeah or a version of that I saw one last week yeah there's still those still rocking dude yeah Peter's grandkids great-grandkids are still just still getting that coexist fucking bumper sticker money yeah that's yeah if it's his patent he might just be designer. I think the Jews own it. Now he gets it. Yeah. Now he gets it.

Look at this other name. His buddy is buddy. This is Wocek Fang or Wocek Fang or. Yeah. Damn. That's a fucking Star Wars. Star Wars. Yeah. And the name is frightening name.

Wocek Fang or. Star Wars. My God. If my daughter was dating one of those, I'd be like, you can't. He's got fangs for your clitoris. He's going to rip that thing right out of your crotch. He's close friends with Jabba the Hutt. That's a fucking vampire. Co-creator. Peter.

P-E-T-R. P-I-O-T-R. Oof. Dangerous. Yeah. Peter P etr Piotr oof dangerous yeah beautiful beautiful all right Chris well don't kill yourself no I'll be all right I'll be all right we just need to make it to the afternoon yeah there's a afterlife I mean the afternoon is the after life to some extent. Yeah, I mean if you unalive yourself you should still get to go to heaven. Yeah, I don't think any of that's real, dude. There's not some dude up there going, nah, nah, nah. You think there's a big stairway going from fucking purgatory to heaven too?

There's a big gate you open? Yeah, that'd be so fucked up of Jesus He was like if he's just standing there going like you quit on us Yeah, so just some woman needed you just truly a single Yeah Well, you can't have those those conversations with a religious person. Yeah, you can't you can't battle them with You know, yeah common sense. Yeah. You can't battle them with, you know, common sense. Yeah, yeah. Like, well, that's what, you know, I don't wanna get into it.

That's just what the Bible says. I don't wanna get into it. The Bible. You know, that was her purpose, to be gang raped behind a window. Yeah. So. And now we have a 5K for her.

Yeah, yeah. So, we all group around. Yeah, we made $2500. We celebrate her life. Yeah. And that was her purpose. And so why did God let that happen? Yeah.

Very simple. It was his gift to the those men who had suffered so many years. Yeah. Yeah. Work. That'll do it. That's a good chime out. Nice.

Thanks. All right. Thank you.