Stuff Island - Tim Butterly + Jon Del Collo - Stuff Island #192
Episode Date: July 9, 2025This week Tim Butterly and Jon Del Collo join Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everythin...g under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Get 10% off at Ridgewallet by using code STUFFISLAND at checkout! Again head to https://www.ridge.com and use code STUFFISLAND for 10% offyour first purchase Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND Get your first month FREE for Bluechew - use promocode "stuffisland" on https://www.bluechew.com to get your first month for FREE Harrys.com/stuff to get a 10 dollar trial shaving kit to change the way you shave. Harry's provides quality razors for a great price! Use code "STUFF" SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWt... Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah, I tried to do one of those one of those young kid leaps. One o'clock in the morning,
hanging out with younger stepbrothers, stepsister. Then I get out of the pool my whole from here
down gushing blood bloody bloody mess. You can see my bone for real. Yeah It was like stitch territory and then somebody in their family
Her stepsister ran and found these butterfly stitches. It's like the fourth or fifth application
Yeah, it's good Lord. We're fine. Have you looked at it since yeah
I looked at it a couple days ago when I read research is it healing up nice or is it looks a little sloppy down?
It's one of those things
if you sneezed on it, it's gonna open right back up. But this
tender, the tender shin bone, and it's opening up all wounds
like this. This thing I reopened. Yeah, in Detroit. Yeah.
From the iron door.
Really heavy closet door guys watch out Detroit
Door situation is not to be trifled. Yeah, I reopened the fucking cut underneath my my eyebrow
Opening closet door looking for an iron before a Super Bowl commercial when it pulled off the fucking hinge
Raked me in the face. I got a black eye.
It reopened an old eye wound.
Yeah, it was an old stitch from a bottle I took years ago.
It's very tender skin.
And I moisturize three times a day.
It was very tender skin.
How many years ago was the bottle?
It was 28.
I've always wanted to get hit in the head with a bottle.
Yeah.
It's been a since a kid.
I've sworn that I was going to get a bottle broken over in the head with a bottle. Yeah, it's been a since a kid
Get a bottle broken over my head never a bottle for not even broken. I would take the donk. Yeah, that would hurt like that Well, that's yeah, that's the obviously you want the stone cold theme music. Yeah, but I'll take a donk
I feel like I've been donked before
been donked before. What was it like?
Pretty humiliating.
Your head's not strong enough to break the glass.
So cartoonish.
Stronger than you think.
Yeah, they are. They don't break like in the movies.
They're well constructed.
You get hit with an edge. There's probably a technique to it.
Making sure it breaks.
Yeah, it's like an axe throwing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever do the bottle trick with a glass bottle? You fill it up with water
and then you pound the top like you're pounding sand and the suction blows the bottom out.
Yes.
So then it's like a trick. It's like a movie bottle so you can crack it over your boy's
head and just fucking walk in glass. Is it less pressure? Yeah. Whoa. It's like a movie. So you can crack it over your boy's head and just fucking less less.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, let's test it.
I never did the second part of that.
I did the first part where you pop the you never smashed it over your boy's head.
That's why you pop the bottom out in the first place.
It's a fucking sharp edge on the bottom.
Now you got to be careful.
I thought it was just a trick to play on retarded girls for pussy.
Yeah, when they come in, you're like, I'll fuck you.
And then everybody laughs.
Everybody laughs.
Everybody's bleeding a little bit and nobody gets pussy.
Tim Butterly, John Delcalo, Tommy Pope, Chris O'Connor.
Thanks for having me.
I don't know.
He shelved myself.
It's good to be with you.
Congratulations on the renewal.
Yeah. I want to say that publicly. to shelf myself. It's good to be with you. Congratulations on the renewal. Yeah.
I want to say that publicly.
Congrats, buddy.
It's pretty great.
I just met John in the bathroom of Austin FC.
Nice stadium.
The soccer stadium.
Oh damn.
He was dressed like Elton John.
Elton John if he went to LSU.
Yeah, Elton Jackoff.
It was Elton John if he didn went to LSU. Yeah. Elton Jack off.
It was Elton John. If he didn't have that much AIDS, your outfit is insane.
Also, I only know like one or two songs on piano, so don't give me a hard time.
No, he's got a great outfit.
I'm just your standard.
Yeah.
You're just going to be dressed like you, which let it walk.
Yeah.
This boy's outfit is like show a picture
I don't think this is gonna be the final uh oh it is version but it absolutely is
my brain is insane right now I don't know I just feels like my brain has like
one of those like weighted vests on yeah you know what it's like when you jump with like a weighted vest mm-hmm that's what's like trying to get a One of those like weighted vests on yeah, you know what it's like when you jump with like a weighted vest
Hmm, that's what's like trying to get a train of thought going right now
Yeah, like just all day your brains like a middle-aged mom with those ankle weights. Yeah, exactly
That doesn't really do it what's weighing it down I'd stopped vaping I've been I've been vaped. I haven't had any nicotine in okay
Probably 25 hours. Well nicotine addiction is fake. We all know that
What you're addicted to is taking fucking puffs
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if it didn't have nicotine in it, you probably would still do it and not notice the lack of nicotine
Yeah, no, cuz I tried to switch to a non-nicotine i did too the flavor
just sucks the flavor so you're not getting a good pull out of it so let's go back up to five percent
nick dude yeah and you you can feel the nicotine the nicotine's coursing through your veins dude
and when you because i've i've stopped for a little while before and then you hit it again and it feels like yeah oh boy how sweet
if i had to quit vaping because it was giving me cystic acne what for real dude and i know it's
because i've been putting it in my mouth yeah
i just have somebody blow it all over my face i don't break it open and rub it on my cheeks.
I just stop boofing nicotine.
My asshole is sore.
I was getting fissures.
Actually, I have those too.
I might be a...
I just stop doing nicotine.
The tip of my pecker is fucking throbbing.
It's not...
No one's ever said
I wonder if that's good. It's just some someone blows Mexican mango in your
three pumps is supposed to be 300. That's like a 6% Zin right there.
It's a lower decker.
My capillaries are open for Manuel, dude.
It's got to feel good.
You have to put a string on the Zins and you get it back.
The boardwalk trick.
Dude, man punning Zanes is so funny, dude.
You make it like a boardwalk necklace where there's like six of them.
You're just like, pop them out.
You're just like, spinning into a catering pot. Like, like, so nice about Waymo, dude. You can reinsert without a driver wondering what
you're stuffing in your asshole back there. Dude, isn't that like, that's part of
like the thrill of Waymo is like you think about like what you could be doing
back there. Uh-huh. You know? On camera. They still have Indian guys watching you.
Yeah, well they like that shit too. True. You know, they're doing a side dog. They're told that they're not supposed to like it.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, but they don't get fired for liking it.
You can't.
You can get fired for enjoying it.
It's a very tricky job.
Yeah, that's a whole-
That is one of those jobs where they need to put that little cuff around your penis that detects any increased blood flow.
I've never heard of a cuff. I do of it. Sounds amazing. It's a good lie
detector for your penis. It might be from a fake TV show. I actually, I might not even
be remembering something. I might be making it up. I would love to have something like
that. Yeah. Can we order it up? Yeah. And then just show you strap it on your boy and
you just show them different stuff. Yeah. And to eliminate him just work out in front of him. I feel like that's a new game Wow
That's wars with a Z. We're about to be
That's a girl
One of girls accuses you of like falling out of love and she puts one of those running bands on your cock
And tries to do some sexy shit that worked like you know month three running band yeah like you know the cockering the cockering a
cock yeah but on a cock so it checks your heartbeat your blood flow oh you
know all the things that would increase your sexual fitbit yeah wouldn't the
hardness of the penis tell you everything you want to know well it does
that's true essentially it's our second heart. That's nature's uh, it's nature's penis fitbit right there. Yeah
Yeah, if that thing's not hard and doing a hiccup every couple of seconds, he's not into you, babe
Return the jit bit he don't love you
It was right there right fucking there
No, I like sick bit It was right there. None of us found it. It was right fucking there. I said dick pit.
No, I like dick pit.
I'll back you up on dick pit.
Man, you will be dick pit guys then.
Already a split.
Are you waking up shaking?
No, well I haven't gone to sleep yet.
Well I guess I did last night.
I'm not doing good.
How far are you? I was last night. I'm not doing good. Oh my God. How well I guess last night.
No, I fell asleep.
I fell asleep fine.
And then wake up in the middle of night jitters.
No. Yeah, none of that's real.
They said they said, though, that it's like it's it's kind of like tonight.
That becomes the problem.
Yeah. Yeah. Day two.
You're fine. Day two. Night two.
You're fine. Just of being off, Nick, dude, you're letting this go to your head.
No, I can feel it.
Dude, if I hit like a vape right now, I would feel so good and my...
all this blockage would clear.
I know it.
I don't know. I've come to this crossroad before.
I go like a week without smoking a cigarette and I don't think twice about it.
No vape, no cig.
Dude, I was vaping so aggressively. Dude, so was I don't think twice about it. It's no big dude. I was vaping so aggressive
So was I all day me too every day at night?
I want to take you to clear a geek bar to two months or two weeks
Two weeks. Yeah, the 30 like the fucking five thousand puff guy. No one of these guys. Yeah, no, that's a small three days
That's a small boy
You don't have any free time beyond that if you're puffing one of those in three days, actually you could do it while you're doing literally everything else in your life. No, it's got like if you have a hard hold on three or four charges.
Yeah, dude, that's insane amount that you were crazy. That's why I'm feeling I'm feeling the effects. Maybe you were addicted. You're the only one though. I need to quit at night
That's my only problem is uh, it's keeping me up all night. And since I'm not doing anything
I'm just like sitting around playing video games. I'm reaching like nicotine saturation
Yeah, and like the inside of my head starts to feel like wet almost
Yeah, and I'm just sitting on the couch shaking my legs
I'm like, okay
That was the last hit and I'm gonna get sleepy soon and then I don't get sleepy and I get bored because I'm staying up all night and I go I got one more puff
Yeah, yes. Yes saying last hit is such a and then and then you hear the tomorrow birds and you go
Oh fuck. Yeah, I could do any drug any drug you get the line four of coke
Pill three of ecstasy. That's not me seven of perk. You're just like I'm not doing anything. I'm just like, I'm not doing anything. I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything.
I'm just like, I'm not doing anything. I'm for me, it calms me down. It has the opposite effect.
It centers me.
Okay buddy.
Is that why you've been annoying for four hours?
No, I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic and I find it and I hit it and I
just go right back.
I was doing that too.
I was getting out of bed and going to the bathroom because Maggie didn't want vape smoke next to her. Oh my god
So I would get up at fucking like I'd go to bed lay there for an hour and my falling asleep
And I would get up and be like I know what I need
fucking four strong
Frozen white grape hits so good when you ain't got a bitch in your That was exactly the last flavor I had to do.
I'm adulterated.
So some loud mouth bitch ruining it.
I could drink more if you prefer.
Would you like that?
What about some screaming every now and then?
Would you like that instead of the great B pop?
Let's talk about the real problem is when you wake up in the middle of the night,
you go, I got fucking four nippers a fucking wood for
Feel very content
Because you don't want me to have fucking magic moon.
Okay.
You got a sweatshirt open and a white collar.
We're torturing Chris right now by the way.
Alright, let's think of some stuff we can replace it with.
It doesn't need to be replaced.
It just needs to go away.
I guess.
What day are you on?
You would say?
One?
One.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Three days is what?
Is it supposed to be the physical addiction and three weeks
It's supposed to be the mental addiction is over. I guess well. It seems like he did the fucking research
Yeah, yeah, I've been uh I've research programs and stuff like that. Yeah, but I feel like I'm not really like today
I don't find myself missing the smoking of it. It's just I can feel the
Negative space where the chemical should be
Yeah, and I want it back in there. Do they have vapers and autumn?
That's a great sketch my name is Chris
And I only slept for nine hours.
Thoughts, you know.
Now it's all fog and loneliness. Yeah. I did have a few a few hard days, I think, when I stopped vaping.
Yeah, I was on I was smoking cigarettes to quell that.
I was smoking sticks and vaping at the same time.
So it was a different game.
But you haven't smoked a cigarette in a long time, probably.
Right now. Yeah.
No. But I was good for getting over.
I was thinking about doing a Zen or something.
Now, but I'm going to get you.
Just go cold turkey.
And yeah, don't just forget about it.
Yeah. Do they try to make a nicotine that you can put on the bottom of your.
John's been using clogging his fucking pores.
Old shit face over here.
Oh, yeah, the patch.
My bad.
I was thinking more like a salve.
Salve?
Salve.
Salve.
Salve.
With, you know, like eucalyptus or something.
You know?
Aroma there.
A menthol.
They have to have.
Y'all ain't got menthol, Sal.
Y'all got any cream on.
A Vicks Vapour.
Just put it on your chest.
Always have it.
Just always have it bleeding.
You don't even have to.
It's a chess.
Yeah. You don't even have to rip it. It's a chest rub. You smell like f**k chest rub dude.
You smell like geek bar vapor chest rub.
Just getting f**king juicy peach flowing through your nostrils.
Your girl's like, can you sleep on the couch you stink?
You smell like a boardwalk you f**king weirdo.
Why do you smell like Wigger Coke?
Fucking arcade owl over here.
With God's help you will overcome this affliction.
Yeah, I think I should.
I think by tomorrow, if I can get through tomorrow, you're fine.
One day at a time.
I'll be alright.
I think tomorrow is your day buddy.
You need a sponsor. Yeah, and I'll be all right. I think tomorrow is your day buddy. You need a sponsor
Someone to talk to I
Was bringing my vape like even though I quit I was still bringing it with me on my face and stuff
It kept the car. Yeah, I was bringing my binky with me just in case I needed it and
I was carrying empty empty beer bottle in the car
Just take a swing
Nothing that would be sick Just take a f*** swing from nothing.
That would be sick.
Just take a waft of the f***ing IPA, put it right back in the little hole.
You always just had a highlight full of sand.
If they made it a beer like mustache spray.
That would get me through some times.
Dude I eat...
Man. Sometimes. Dude, I eat man.
The idea of getting up and ripping fucking four whiskies in the middle of the night.
Yeah, that's insane.
Yeah, that's why I said you're fine.
Somebody's there.
Somebody's somebody's millions of people are there.
It's literally what gets me by going, you don't drink that much.
You don't get up in the middle of the night just going.
Yeah. And they have to crush like half a fucking glass of straight pop pops vodka
To relax. How do they not die in state? Do yeah three months is instant
Yeah, once you get the fucking
You know, yeah, what'd you get the bad stuff the shimmy shakes?
No, you can go you can last a decade drinking like that, but it's going that's crazy a decade
With fucking vodka on your night table to put you back to sleep
Yeah, it takes ten years of that shit. Yeah, let me do that. Let me do the math on when my friend
Did you see how old he was?
Yeah over ten years Jesus did you see the Sandman on Legion of Skanks?
Remember Sandman from ECW?
No, no, no. You remember saying from ECW had the cane.
He walked out the metal.
Adam Sandler. Oh, yeah. Huge alcohol.
Why do you think he's dressed like that all the time?
But he was saying
he was saying he's an alcoholic and he, every day, his habit is he drinks
a 12 of those little shooter bottles of 99 bananas. And he says, I buy 12 every day and
I drink them through the course of the day just to maintain. And, uh, they're like, yeah,
like, uh, and his, his point was that like, I only buy 12 at a time because that's what
gets me through a day.
If you buy booze for four days, you're going to drink it in a day and a half.
The fact that it was ninety nine bananas was so funny.
Yeah, that is nuts.
A diet, probably price point and flavor.
And but we were saying the other day that once you start buying airplane bottle.
Yeah, that's for home.
They should. They should.
So then your billions.
You should have to be be on airplanes to go
your credentials wait that's actually true I don't think it like obviously you
can buy those airplane bottles at the fucking whatever store but the carry on
so you can bring airplane bottles as a carry on you can put it up to show your
boarding pass at the liquor store
No, but you can't you can't get off a plane with a beer
Yeah, they're like they're not they're like only like you tried yeah
You're saying this is if you like you have a logical
No, actually what happened was this guy behind me tried to buy two beers, uh-huh and she was like
Got to finish them both before yeah
Yeah, cuz he was like cuz he's like can you not open the second one and she was like no I have to I only
Have a license to sell in the air. The guy is a smart thinker though. It's kind of what it's so we handed you one
That was not opened
Is that correct? No. Oh, No. Did you open the second one?
No, no, I just drank the drinks in front of me.
And then I hid it when they come around
to put the seat backs up and stuff.
Yeah, it's like leaving the length.
Then you walk off the plane.
In Eagles Can you put it on your shirt?
Carry your jacket over your hand.
Yeah, I have nothing.
Still in drinking position.
Yeah, I have nothing.
I don't want to spill my jacket, sorry.
I don't want to spill your shit.
I spilled my jacket. My jacket leaks. I'm sorry.
I watched this in beer before I got on the plane.
Oh man.
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Dude, this is this is this really is the the travel episode
What else I just farted it's gonna be bad
He's in withdrawal man
Just like train spotting
Man what could we do? What could we do to take your mind off of it?
Because now I'm like panicking.
Why are you panicking about me?
Yeah, I can see you suffering.
And I want to know what you would like me to take your mind off of it with.
I don't know, man.
I don't think there's anything you can do.
Because it's in the way of everything that I'm experiencing.
May I speak?
You look good. You look well rested.
I feel pretty good, except that it feels like my eyes don't really work.
Because you don't feel like looking at anything.
Yeah. I love how Chris is trying to paint this picture as if it's due to the vaping,
but this is personality every time I'm down.
I'm mildly annoyed with everyone around me. Smelling anyone
does make sense to me. That's what it does. It feels like a it feels like a
hangover. It feels like a permanent hangover. We're gonna smash cut to this in one month
when you're not vaping and you're gonna have the same thoughts and your hair is blonde or that's the next step.
What's the one that you're pierced?
I get the booze and under control and then I'll be I'll be
a sunny sunny boy.
Do my last three three mornings have been wonderful.
I'm drinking this THC CBD seltzer at night.
There you go.
Does it knock you out?
Not until I go to sleep.
So like I don't know you not realizing like I'm getting high.
So it tastes really good.
I got that Cheech and Chong brand
and then I got this other one called Louie something.
So I'm trying two different brands.
They're all five milligrams.
This is nothing to you, right?
That's a lot though.
No, usually it's not.
Yeah, but if I don't smoke.
The drinks never do anything for me. Of course, because you're doing the hard shit. No, usually it's not. Yeah, but if I don't smoke. The drinks never do anything for me.
Of course, because you're doing the hardship.
No, no, no, no, no.
Like two 20s won't, or two 10s won't do anything?
Like as long, I've never had a good experience
with a THC beverage.
Because it takes a long time to drink.
It's not like taking a gummy
where you get the entire thing at once.
That's the point.
I'm slamming sodas regardless if there's THC.
I'm getting it in my body as fast as I can.
So then a guy handed me one,
I was in South Bend doing a show,
and he handed me a THC soda,
and we were already smoking,
there was already 10 retarded guys
passing around, giant blunts,
so we were already smoking a lot,
and I was just like, hey, thanks, man,
and I started knocking it back.
And I finished it, and I looked at it,
it said 100 milligrams.
You drank the whole thing?
I drank the whole thing. Somebody did that to me in Sacramento, but I only drank a quarter of it, and I was it. I looked at it said 100 milligrams. You drank the whole thing. I drank the whole thing
And I needed that to me in Sacramento, but I only drank a quarter of it and I was zooming
Wait, they they sell that level of milligram. Yeah milligram in one fucking st. Ides bottle
Or whatever. That's a can of soda. Yeah, this was a can of soda root beer and I went oh gross and I drank it
and uh I went to bed feeling pretty high
I was like, oh, I guess they kind of like maybe if you drink enough of it, it works.
And then it hit me in my sleep.
I lost the morning.
Like I got on a flight the next day.
I didn't remember going to the airport.
Damn.
It was absolutely devastating.
Yeah.
And so just complete fog.
I hit the company up and they sent me a case of them.
It is ruined two days for me.
I've been looking for this for a long time.
No, it's been you're feeling pretty good in the mornings.
All right. Or do you feel a little foggy?
No, that's three mornings.
It felt great. I mean foggy when I wake up.
But yeah, five milligrams isn't going to give you that crazy of a hangover.
I take 10 or 15.
So I'll have three cans over the course of like three hours.
All right, that's triple what I thought.
I feel like the last time I ate weed, I ate like a five milligram edible
and just went crazy.
Real? Yeah.
I was just like, I can't talk to anyone.
You can barely order a hot dog.
I was in a baseball game.
Yeah, it was like crazy.
No, all in all, it's like a, it's a fucking lifesaver
because I don't drink for the three, four hours before bed.
Yeah.
Whereas I could crush a half bottle of whiskey,
three bottles of wine.
Yeah.
You know, like it's easy for me just to watch something
and whereas the THC and CBD,
it kills the time and it still makes you feel a little loopy as if I'm
getting to that point.
And then I just fall asleep and I wake up.
Dude, I was a beast in the gym the last three days.
I started to think like this is how it works.
You know, I'll be built like Rogan in 30 days.
Oh, yeah, you just get super high in hemorrhoid.
Yeah. Yeah. Rest it shadow box in the neighbors
from across the street. Time'm getting too much sleep Tommy you look great too you're glowing
considering yeah you are considering what we do to our bodies I've been yeah
balance it's a balancing act man I'm gonna catch up on sleep pretty soon I
haven't even had time to smoke weed I Like that's usually like my nighttime thing.
Put the kids in bed, kiss them on the foreheads
and I go hang out in the backyard for a couple of minutes.
I just haven't had time, man.
We're unpacking, you know.
The move was a grueling nightmare.
I can't imagine.
I mean, I can't imagine.
I just haven't had time to get fucked up at night
and it's like, it's right around the corner.
I know it's coming, man.
I've been such a good boy.
And I know my mother deserves it.
You're almost to the mountain top.
I think it's like the first two months you move,
every day you're thinking about getting downtown,
doing sets, ingratiating yourself.
Or just getting set up.
Or when you have days off, it's just all family and...
This is without kids,
knowing how many little chores you have to do
to get your house in order.
I know and you look at all the boxes that are piled in every room of the house and you go I'm gonna get to them I promise.
And then you do one thing and you go well I don't like doing this and you think of another thing to do and then you jump on that
and then you end up not really getting anything done for 30 straight days.
And then you're also not you don't have time to smoke any By the way, the video game system is not even hooked up.
You know what I mean? And it's just you're living in hell.
But there's light at the end of the tunnel, man.
I'm about to get really high and play video games.
I can just feel. Oh, my God. It's on the horizon.
What game do you play that you feel like?
Are you like anxious about not getting back into it because of time frame?
Well, I got into a new game. It's called Rematch.
It's a do you guys know what Rocket League is? Yeah.
It's like car soccer.
Yes. You can make the cars fly and do tricks. Yeah.
Well, someone took that idea and they made a regular soccer game
that feels like Rocket League.
So I'm like, finally, soccer rocks.
And I just want to play it all day.
You play with online with 14 year olds.
Yeah, but are they instead of cars or just like this is where it's just guys. Yeah.
But they run and they jump and spin and like, yeah, it's just soccer,
but you could do cool moves and it's like, finally, man, they made the sport tolerable.
Moon gravity soccer, basically.
No, it's actually pretty lifelike.
You know what I mean? It's actually not even that
Yeah, it's just
Easy and it's like that's all I want to do right now. Yeah, that's awesome
I'm all video games for like 26 hours right now, man. It's like I can't even think about anything
It's a struggle dude you get all blocked up I'm with you man I'm right there
If you can't score that ball
Just get all jammed if I can't spaz and squeeze the controller and kind of like try to break it
Well, like a torque on it like I could snap it, but I can't
You do that too, I thought I was just people that suck the video games
That was just me the guys that are really great at it
Just yeah
Smashing a controller we're all gonna go get through this man
You smash some controllers back in the day. Oh my Tiger Woods all of Tiger Woods golf
Mario Kart birds chirping and you're smashing a fucking controller
dude I would smash controllers when they were still hooked up
like Super Nintendo
just pretty long shit at the drywall and the machine goes with it
I still have all my
and it's not a machine
and dudes are like
the fuck are you doing? I'm like ahhh
you made me play Princess Peach
you fucking dickhead
you see them bows I have all the systems still I Princess peach fucking dick head
I Have all the systems still and like I'm trying to start setting those up in the house
And I it's like the thing is you know you go to grab a controller for one of the old systems
And you have to see if there anything rattles in it. Yeah
fuck that one
One and a half working controllers
Loose motherboard
That's what they need to do for the VR let's get back in the old-school
Like Mario Kart stuff like that
That would be fucking sick. Yeah, like the oculus mario kart where you're actually yeah
In the car is tough people get motion sickness at least at least those I'm not talking about the Japanese
I mean just like the regular
Jabs would yeah, they would handle it. Yeah, they would they're the only ones that don't get like the epileptic seizures, right?
Yeah, they're used to their kamikaze pilots. Yeah
Are there any mar We call DJs.
Are there any VR games where you can drive and hold a gun at the same time?
That seems like a million dollar idea.
I don't know.
That's all we do. It's kind of all you do is in your living room,
holding a fake guy on a steering wheel and fucking banging into shit.
That's busy.
That gun looks real. This guy's fucking hacking.
That is sick.
Ben comes in like, do you see my T-ball game yesterday?
He's like, what?
Yeah, I was in the helmet.
What?
I'm kind of busy.
John, you're gonna move here?
Nah, good.
I'm just going to visit all the time.
There you go.
Now we got a fucking sick set up back East now.
We moved out of the city.
We're in the suburbs. Got a fucking backyard.
That's great.
A detached garage that you cannot park a car in.
I'm telling you, I think that was what I was really after.
A backyard. I don't know if I had to come to Texas.
OK, you look outside the city before you came in. No.
We went five miles west.
We we drove all the way here and I drove the moving truck
and my wife drove our Subaru, right?
And our Subaru had this had this thing where if you got up above like 70,
the steering wheel would do this and the car would while you're doing that when I go really fast
It goes like this and he goes. Okay. I'll probably just balance the tires. I was like, do you think that I'll fix it?
He goes yeah
So I get the car back that day and I get on the highway and it hits 70 at this point
The lease is signed at the moving truck is in my driveway I hit 70 with the car and it's smooth as silk and I was like I
think this is actually the only change I needed
I want the rearview mirror to stop vibrating.
Yeah.
Meanwhile you learn Spanish.
Yeah.
Well, too late to change my mind now.
All your kids are wearing long-worn hats.
I've whisked it all.
But no, so I yeah, that's it's really all it takes, man.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of stuff like that.
Sometimes, yeah.
Go right next to the airport.
You're seriously considering suicide
and then you just have like a good sandwich.
Maybe I could get this sandwich every day.
Yeah, yeah, that's not so bad.
Sandwich shop closed immediately, fuck.
Yeah, yeah.
You go through a really bad breakup and you're like,
damn it, dude, I fucking loved her so much you get something pancakes
Then you get a blowjob from pancakes
Pancakes
Just leans in the what she has just big floppers
Yeah, she wears a one-piece and her fucking nipples around her waist just smashed
Yeah, I have to eat that out of her asshole now, okay
Three illegitimate children hanging on those fans.
Pulling them down.
Did you find you have a gym?
Do you do? Do you do MMA out here yet?
Not yet. It's on the it's on the list for sure.
Yeah, I want to make sure, you know, I'm going to look at my finances
for a couple of months and then make sure I can afford the fucking seven
hundred dollars it'll take to sign my family up a 10th planet
The whole family for 700 that's nothing I don't whatever it is. I don't know what it is, but it's I'll be there soon
That's that's what I'm gonna figure out. I think they give you a discount if you work in the mothership
Is that yeah, have I heard I'm sure I'm whole squad no
I've never been a actually I there's never been a time in my life where I can afford for my family to do jiu-jitsu I had to teach children's
classes like three nights a week just so my kids go to the gym yeah that fucking
rules how good are children at jiu-jitsu it depends on the child I found that
some boys are little crybaby pussies and some girls are like seriously monsters
inside the same for every sport.
Yeah.
I imagine a little more.
I couldn't tell you that a little more, a little more for physical, but
football, it would be the same thing.
You know, immediately you're not built for this.
You mean crybaby pussies, like they just cry after a match when they lose or
they're crying when they lose, they don't like, uh, you know, the, the idea of
like, you know, imposing on somebody. And then, uh, know, my sweet boys that aren't meant for that. Exactly. Yeah. You know, and I but at the same time, like when my daughter started doing it and I saw the way that she like approached it, I was like kind of scared for a little bit. I was like, Oh, no, this is a personality type that I wasn't really planning on. I think she really enjoyed something really dark about that.
Breaking elbows. Yeah, it's awesome.
Yeah. I had her first competition when she was like 10
and she choked this girl mercilessly.
And I and I took a picture of it.
A proud moment. I go, Whoa, Lucy's about to win.
I she was sinking in the triangle and she gets her.
She gets the girl's head and arm in and she goes to sink it in and pull on the girls.
I don't know if it was Lee. Anyway, she's got it tight and this girl's about to tap and I take a picture.
I went back and looked at it later and all these kids.
They're crying. They're crying while they're winning in the middle of the competition. Yeah, I looked at the picture when we got home.
Expressionless
And I was just like, let's go. Would you prefer that or a giant smile?
Giant smile is just like
Hot dogging.
A giant smile is insane.
A giant smile is good because they're kids
and the thing you're just like, oh I'm just doing
it right.
You're still locked in the moment.
The calm execution of it.
Dude, I'm not saying no smile, I'm saying completely
expressionless. Almost, almost a face
I've never seen her make because it was the absence of a face. Yeah, that's gonna be and she was
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It ain't a supplement, Tom.
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There you go.
Uncle Ray, think of that.
That's the last face like her high school and college boyfriend seat.
She's just choking him out in the woods, burying him in fucking leaves.
Yeah, well, you know, you're sending a young lady out into the world.
You hope she's got a little bit of that.
And then a little bit of that.
A little bit of that.
Yeah, slightly Russian.
What about you?
You going to you go you want to fight?
Fight you?
No, not me.
You want to you ever think about that stuff?
No, I passed that point.
I know a lot of the boys.
Yeah, I mean that I would take I would take boxing. There's a duke a who's
an MMA guy at the door guy. I like him a lot. And I talked
about like, just doing boxing lessons as like, yeah, that's
cool. Yeah. But but you can't go. But you not like trying to
get into it. Just learning a little more. Sure, sure. And
it's an exercise. You know getting the blood flowing
Something different cardio not not as gay fun not as gay is the main thing. I don't think it's gay
I think if I was 20 years younger. I would be
Enamored and in MMA yeah, it's that shit didn't come in till I was already 20 years old pretty gay
You put on your tiny little shorts, and you roll around with guys on the ground you get your sweat in each other's mouths
It's gay. Yeah
Yes ago it's the same fucking thing wrestling is gay too
Yeah, dude fucking the gayest thing I did was on Fridays or dress down days before
Football used to wear you so all Saturdays
Know my set I was quarterback my center would be padless
Except for up top you put your shoulder pads and jersey on and I would just feel
This dude's fucking package. Yeah on my top hand
You're knocking on his fucking pecker just laying over my top hand. Yeah
What grade all the way through high school, yeah, yeah five to 18 yeah
Do you ever get real friendly with the ass
as a quarterback?
Some of the, I feel like the pro guys
are really touchy on the ass.
Well that's because you're signaling.
Yeah, yeah, that was my favorite part.
Yeah, you're not just trying to fuck him.
Wait, yeah.
You're tapping codes into his butt?
Yeah, if you're going, if you're doing like a QB sneak
and you're going to his left,
then you tap the left side of his ass
and he blocks to the right.
So you're making the whole.
You go and approach the ass and you'll do like a double slap on the
right that could be a pull yeah that could get the receiver I was imagining
an entire language of tapping with your fingers on but that makes a lot of
sense The quarterbacks tongue is out. What the fuck?
You know, the information.
Yeah, I probably cried after every single wrestling match
because I lost every single match and I honestly don't know.
I think the reason that I was crying is because my dad woke up so early
to drive me so far away just to see me lose three times.
Just to go home early.
Yeah.
I think that's why I was sad.
I didn't really care that I wasn't good at it as much as I was like, fuck, dude, this
guy has to watch me lose every single fucking match.
Just the effort it took to watch you lose.
Yeah.
We wake up at five in the morning, drive three hours somewhere, just a fucking hit my ass.
Team. This was for like, grade school tournaments. You travel three hours in grade school in two hours. Yeah.
Because they have to get every school to go to one place. Yeah, they can actually have matches all day. Oh my god.
They can actually have matches all day. Oh, my God.
The tough part for me was because, you know, I was a coach
and I and I would go to the tournaments with the kids and I would coach them.
And it's like I am on me, you know, I'm
there's not like a more intense version of me that comes out.
Yeah, you know.
And then I'd be sitting in a like a coach's folding chair.
And then in the other coaches, folding chair would be like a Brazilian guy
who was disfigured from grappling. You know what I know I mean like yeah, he looked like an alley cat with like an ear missing a piece
scars all over his face and
Just like shoulders that come up to the back of your head. He didn't get those Michael Batista
None of those wounds are for fighting. It's just from growing up with his mom
Metal spoon and then I would be there with like a sensitive boy Spoons are for fighting, it's just from growing up with his mom. Just gonna hit my metal spoon.
And then I would be there with like a sensitive boy I've been coaching and I go,
hey man, you've got all the knowledge that you need, let's just turn it on.
You know, I've been saying, it's gonna get intense in there, I'm right here,
I'm not gonna get in your way, I'm not gonna tell you everything you need to do,
work on what we did, I'll give you some reminders, I'm really proud of you,
get in there.
And then it's, you know, fucking a Brazilian ninja turtle as a coach., and then he's coaching a cable like a mohawk who's clearly already like fought his stepdad
Just hang on man
You know everything you need to know. Yeah. Even the kid knows
a 100% that's not true.
I might know everything I need to know
about Jiu Jitsu, but there's
some other life lessons.
Two things you're missing.
There's some things outside
the scope of Jiu Jitsu.
Some seriously dark stuff seems to have happened to this other kid already.
And I know
I know you're still pissed I got a lot of business.
Yeah.
I know you're still pissed sitting down, but this guy, he's not you.
And this kid might sleep outside.
And I just want you to keep that in mind and be brave.
Chained up while I'm all in the backyard.
There's a guy screaming at him in a different language right now. I don't want that to intimidate you.
Just don't get careless out there.
Keep your elbows in tight.
Okay.
Don't reach too far and you know, remember to sprawl on the shot.
Sports is sports.
MMA has got to be the scare as a kid.
Like I remember I was so scared like waiting like in the weigh in line.
Oh yeah.
So you'd be next to the team you're playing,
and there'd be dudes that just looked like a force.
They'd be wearing eye black,
they're all dressed like mean and angry.
And I would get scared.
What'd you have to weigh in for, football?
Yeah, Pee-wee.
Yeah, so it was 60, 70, 80, 90, 115.
Every game.
Weight instead of age?
Every game, yeah.
It was age and weight.
Okay, sure. I think it was a gen weight. But sure.
Most I think it was a year and a half
difference year or two.
So you couldn't basketball, you know,
all the tallest fucking mongoloids
that thought they were athletes and
everybody just grew taller than them.
You were good in sixth grade.
You're dogshit.
But football gets so scared.
I can't imagine like
you know what kids go through going like I'm actually gonna have to get this paired up hand to hand combat. Yeah you're standing in a long line with kids and they get like tournament haircuts
they get like you know a cool line shape and that's intimidating you know what I mean and then they
got like the the big like Beats headphones on and they're just like listening to who knows what the fuck. I don't know.
And they're just, you know, they look like little You got a friend in me.
Fucking
Just listening to the fucking coffin dance.
Short people got no reason to live
Just soft 80s balance. That's the scary shit in the world. Coming out to soft 80s
balance like Christopher Cross. Like that guy's gonna rip my fucking head off.
You're eight years old, the only music you know is what your dad listens to in the car.
100%.
I don't think that kid likes sailing at all.
Yeah.
He's gonna fucking tear my head off.
Makes me away, away, away.
Could you turn down the Michael McDonald, please?
Are those kids that are like have a line in their head and the beats headphones and they look
intimidating? Are they pretty much always beasts or do they?
No, they crumble and cry too.
And there is a part of you that goes, thank God, man, I really need to see that kids over.
I don't need an eight year old cooler than me out in the world. Yeah, I want him crying
95 percent of the time that's just the dad's personality being like pushed on the child one million percent and
It's a facade like that kid's probably the weakest one. You know, it's like the loudest dude in a bar
Yeah, but he's also the most afraid of his dad. So that unlocks like an extra 15% of effort. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
My kids were afraid of me. They could who knows what they'd be capable of. But it's like a vape need a charge.
It is. I do. I have a charge so bad.
I feel like there's got to be a lot more guys that are like, um,
they're just about the show. You know what I mean?
They're all about the style, the gear, not in a year at eight.
That's what's happening. That's what's happening in youth baseball right now.
Yeah. There's kids showing up in like jewelry, baseball, had shit.
They're throwing 50 miles an hour. He's not going to break your fucking elbow.
Yeah. Jesus Christ. Or so I've read online. I don't know.
No, 100%. Yeah, I get a lot of cool algorithms, you know. But all those rules I've seen where
these kids are outdressing what they should. They're fucking
raking. Yeah. Like they're really good. Yeah. But you
don't see the kids that are bad. You know what I mean? Right.
Right. Right. Yeah. I'm not into those rules. Yeah. That's not
my algorithm. I did a brutal that should be my algorithm
I was doing them ketamine on the beach in st. Augustine, Florida one last summer or two summers ago and
I got really fixated on the idea of being raised as like a
Pitching prospect and going through the whole system and getting sent to like a training facility
I think I had seen one 15 second video about it. I was just like,
I lived the entire simulation. You're be fun if they weren't real stores.
It's just AI based on like our wants and needs.
This is what I wanted me to be.
I don't know what's real.
That's for sure.
Yeah, just being groomed and your whole family is like their lives are being rearranged so you can live closer to like the camp where they're like getting an extra mile and a half an hour on your
Pitch and yeah, then you make it to college and you blow it. It doesn't really work out
Yeah, that's the yard he had all the tools just mentally
Bars ruined him Yeah. Mentally wasn't there. He got too addicted to geek bars and could not get out of the dugout. Oh yeah, yeah.
Geek bars ruined him.
He played with a corked vape.
Yeah.
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Pancakes.
Fucking pancakes
a stripper.
I can see her right now. You sound like you've definitely done Salvia Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes.
I can see her right now.
You sound like you've definitely done Salvia by the way you just described that.
What?
Have you done Salvia?
No.
He said what?
Oh my god.
You got the, you got all the info.
You don't have to do it now.
Somebody told you exactly what happened in there.
Pancakes comes out?
No, you said Salvia earlier.
You were talking about Salvia earlier.
Yeah. Pancakes was a different thing. Pancakes was a different thing. Pancakes was a different thing. Pancakes was out? No, you said Salvia earlier. You were talking about Salvia earlier.
Yeah.
Pancakes was a different thing.
Oh, he brought up pancakes again.
It was just a collision of two things.
Is when I shouldn't have spoken,
is when I spokened.
You're fine.
Pancakes,
the stripper.
You done Salvia? Not yet. You don't solve you. Not yet.
It's on my list.
Yeah, it's probably do you recommend that?
Personally, not really.
I get like what people like about it, but I felt like I got pulled
out of my house in a really abrupt way.
Like I laid down in my bed after I inhaled it and it felt like a
flap in the front of my hat like a drawer almost open and I got yanked out and I was just like not having a great time
And I was I felt like I was with people who didn't like me. I was alone
Yeah, I felt like I was feeling yeah
Yeah, I felt like I got picked up by a bunch of people who did not like me and they wouldn't let me go home
and I
Man I gotta stop saying yes
That's like a microcosm of like your actual mentality
Yeah, I think we all share that yeah, and then I tried it again in my gaming chair. And I thought that would be a safer space.
Everybody loves it!
The hero is here!
It turns out I'm the coolest guy who's ever lived and I didn't even know it!
Thanks, drugs!
Yeah. It's probably drugs.
Check it out. It's only five minutes.
You do drugs and you're comfortable in a scenario.
You're like, well, I can't be comfortable in that scenario without doing that drug every fun
It's like the fear of like not being fucked up on stage. Yeah, my roommates. Um, got a trip on Salvia again
You heard me jingling the key I heard you lighten up that butane lighter you fucking salvia addict
Anyway, I do have a bunch in some hammock chairs from Costco if you want to come
over.
DMT?
Yeah, I'll try it. I want to try it.
Hell yeah. All right, cool.
It's five minutes. What do you got going on? You know, what's so important?
That's all it takes.
Yeah, they say it feels like and then it's completely over.
But I couldn't five minutes.
I contact with some with people for two weeks after I did Salvia and it sounds
Exactly like what happened to you with DMT. No, Salvia sounds way more intense. Well, we could we could really
More intense and it is I guess from what I've read. Well, we're gonna have to compare notes
Yeah, let's table this conversation for now. What we'll come back in the future and report on it
Why are we tabling it? I want to talk about it because none of us know
Okay, yeah When I did it, uh, very specific instructions to do it through a water pipe. Okay. And with a butane lighter, because it helps the
chemicals react faster, I guess. And you're supposed to take a bong rip, lay back, hold the
smoke in and count to 30. And then you drift off 30. And my buddy's counting and he gets to 22 and I
think of something so funny that I crack up so hard that I spit and it lands
exactly on my face. And the last thing I remember hearing is my friend saying 22.
He got to 22 and then he spit all over his own face and then I looked out the window and the world just
completely disappeared yeah and I spent six months working at a car wash yeah I
was across the street running down the street when I came to and they were just
like looking at me like you're all right and I was like I don't think so man I don't think I'm ever gonna be
alright again wait you were physically outside when you came back when I when
the world returned to my eyes I thought this isn't right like when I could
envision like see my friends faces again I was like this isn't right I thought I
had been pulled away from the universe forever. Yeah. And I was revealed information that
we probably shouldn't know. Yeah. I was just I was a Lego next to other Legos
and the entire thing was like this is all existence is taking stuff from the
Lego to your right giving it to the Lego on the right on the left. Yeah. Very
depressing. And I was like I'll never see my family again. I'll never exist in the earthly plane again.
And I was coming to, and I was like,
I don't know these guys anymore.
And my friend said, I was running to jump off the deck
of our apartment, and my friend's like, that door is locked.
And I couldn't, I had no idea how to unlock a door.
So I ran to the other door, barreled him out of the way
because he was trying to not let me go. Yeah, see, this is terrible. Yeah, yeah. So I ran, I ran to the other door, barreled him out of the way because he was trying to not let me go.
Yeah, see this is terrible.
Yeah, and then I ran downstairs
and was just, five minutes later,
I'm sitting across the street from that long-term.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
And I'm like, how long has it been?
And they're like, three minutes.
Shit.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Every time I do a drug,
Holy shit.
Every time I do a drug and I'm like,
Don't you need a shaman?
I know it's not fucking ayahuasca, but like. Yes, don was going to do that shit alone and DMT and do it with somebody who's
salve like you should have.
I have my wife watching me and I when I was when I one of the times I did the DMT,
I was looking at her as I laid down first.
The point I want to make real quick is every time I try a drug
and then I lay down right before it fully hits me I go oh
no all I really needed was to lay down yeah and then you get whipped out yeah it's like
you're getting your tires realigned yeah yeah yeah I'm not really equipped for real life
but I was well I was staring at my wife as I drifted off and her facial features became like fused with like
peacock feathers and she had six eyes and it was like I that's what I wanted I
wanted that I was like and then I got pulled deeper in and I lost that and when
I came back out I was like if we could have stopped in that first like 15
seconds of it that would have been pretty cool but then I had to go what if
she just pecked your face on
Hey, man, what a way to go
Lady the entire world
By the um the interdimensional punk rock guys from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Remember the guys in the hover car? Dimension X guys?
It felt like I went to Dimension X and I came back and I was like,
I'm fine here, man.
Is that the same trip you described earlier?
Yeah.
That was the same DMT so it started nice?
It's actually every time I've done DMT.
The Dimension X punk rock mutant guys come in and they kidnap me.
Is that like bebop and rock steady?
No, more, no.
These guys came from, not Krangworld, but they suck.
These guys fucking blow and they, and they,
and they take you away for five minutes and they're so mean to you.
And everything looks cool. You close your eyes. You go, Whoa,
I've never been here before. And you're looking at like, you know,
geometry that you don't know about.
You're seeing shapes that you don't know very clearly. So you're like,
you're kind of impressed because you go, well,
if I conjured this image with my mind that's
Pretty impressive. Yeah, and then it's over and you go fuck. All right. Well, let's see what's going on with Rocket League
Does it leave you in a deep pit of depression no salvia does without a doubt
Yeah, there was a guy when I like when I did Salvia, I guess it was my sophomore year in college,
a kid in a high school where I'm from did so much Salvia that he lit a camping fire
in a tent in his garage and suffocated himself to death because that's what Salvia told him
to do.
Like that's the message he got from repeat Salvia trips.
Jesus.
And I worked at a law firm at that time and one of the lawyers
his wife was a
news reporter and
She was doing a report on this kid who died and killed himself on salvia and I
Probably tripped yesterday on it and this guy calls me and was like hey
My lady's doing a report on on salvia. Have you ever heard of of it and I was like nope never heard of it
but yeah if you guys know shit I remember that idea sounded so cool to me as a kid.
Like the idea of Salvia and living like a whole lifetime.
Yeah. Now that that sounds like I don't even like this lifetime.
It sounds like the most terrifying thing really is, dude.
Imaginating life and then you have to live an entire second one and then come back to this.
Great. Yeah, fucking still can't vape, dude. What the fuck? then you have to live an entire second one and then come back to this.
Fucking still can't vape do what the fuck?
Get your fucking tires a line fan.
Great analogy for life. Just get your tires aligned.
It's true.
That shaking will stop the little things. You just got to get your tires. Pay a little money get four new brand brand
new tires. Just get them aligned. Shout your tires on. Pay a little money, get four new brand new tires.
Just get them aligned.
Shout out tires.
Shaking wheels.
Whoa!
Shout out tires.
Tires season three coming out.
Alright boys, thanks for coming.
You got something to plug, Timmy?
Yeah, just check out my stuff online.
It's at Tim Butterly on everything.
Social media, YouTube, Twitch.
Oh, I play, I'm making my wife play, I'm sure you guys have heard me bitch about it
But I do a thing where I make my wife play metal gear solid
it's called metal girl solid and it's my favorite thing to do so check that out on twitch and you too and
That's my passion project. So thank you guys very much cool. So good to be here with you guys. I'm so excited. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, yeah follow me at Johnny Delco J o n n Jo nny del co on Twitter and Instagram and just come out soon
Yeah, yeah, I'll be in Atlantic City with the are you garbage guys and on July 19th?
So perfect if there's any tickets left come check it out nice
What do you guys got you plug in anything? No, no nothing to plug. Thanks for having
Island yeah
Stuff on
patreon.com patreon stuff island
You just got here I know finish packing fucking DMT. I'll tell you when you go in my kitchen a little greedy dickhead
I know a greedy dick so hungry