Stuff Island - Tim Butterly + Josh Francis - Stuff Island 195

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

This week Tim Butterly and Josh Francis join Tommy pope on Stuff Island Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Get your first month FREE for Bluechew - use promocode "stuffisland" on https://www.bluechew.com to get your first month for FREE SUB TO PATREON: patreon.com/stuffisland Follow Chris on IG:   / achrisoconnor   Follow Tommy on IG:   / tommyjpope   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't know I had dog food three times today the dog doesn't harumph after you open the can like I had that yesterday fucking eat it

MJ is the opposite MJ won't let me eat the same thing twice in two days and I go well I only like like three things so it's okay yeah we talked about this on the fucking Joderosa LAD that comes out tomorrow

it's just like every Every male comic I know eats three to four things. Yeah, I'm beef and rice. Yeah, you are dogs. I'm beef and rice. You are fucking puppies. I could eat rice with every meal. Your puppies are your favorite.

Yeah. There's a reason Asian people live to be 90 years old. One million percent. It's because they eat rice every day and little slivers of beef. Yeah. And I could be happy with it. Yeah. Well, if you started hiding your daughter in a basement, you'll probably get healthier.

Oh, my God. I live even fucking longer. My hair will stay less gray. You're fucked. My hair line will be intact or another couple years. You're good, man. Your hair is. yeah that's not going nowhere thank you yeah this whole thing this old rug yeah that's nice

dude good flow damn yeah so why i'm trying to pump you up after that face aids pick you just said no it was bad both he had face he caught the sty this month dude yeah oh i had a crazy stye we went to atlanta like two weeks ago and the first day there we took it easy we were just like let's just whatever hang out and then the second morning i woke up my eye was swollen show it with a sty. Yeah. What is a sty, please?

I know the word and I know what it looks like. People who get sties are going to say something like this. Go ahead. It's like a clogged pore. Biggo.

Yeah, no, it's fucking, it's shit from your finger and out of smeared in your eyeballs. It's not that, though. It's not that. Dude, it's not that. It's not that.

People are like, it's too much oil. Pink eye is that. Yeah. Pink eyes when you get like fecal matter. I think it's a bit of both. But there's more than fecal matter

on your face. Yeah. Well, you dapped up, Chris. He doesn't wash after he thumps out. He doesn't? No. That's a hazard. I do, well, you know, I did, I had a buddy who just told me the same thing. That's nuts to me. It's insane. And Chris always goes, well, yeah, I'm never sick. I'm like, dude, you're, you're comatose once a month. Yeah. You sleep like a wombat. You're four days straight, dude. You blame it on two whiskeys. Sleeping off of poop. Yeah, you had a bad poop month, guys.

We're going to be in a couple days. Yeah, that's taking a long weekend. That's crazy. Yesterday we were doing the, we were at Tommy's doing like, look at dish and his neighbors upstairs were like stomping around. He goes, yeah, the Mexican Clydesdales are over there. The analogies are crazy that you throw out so funny. Mexican Clydesdale is so funny.

One's a real beef bag that doesn't pretend she's not. Do you know what I mean? Like, if, if I, if I. was built like that i would be cognizant of of my heels your hoofs my hoofs what do you call it a hoof i don't like the shit on ladies but they have no sonic discipline whatsoever yeah i i don't know if all men do this but i know i try to have the quietest footfall possible possible yeah i already feel like enough of a nuisance you don't need to hear me stomping around the fucking house thank you and where do you think that comes from there's the that comes from childhood and someone going stop making so much fucking noise maybe maybe but my

wife and daughter walk heavier than anybody I've ever met combined I think they're under two other guys and they're tiny and they the way that they can make a sound while walking truly horrifies yeah it's almost like they're trying it's trying

it's you'd have to drive I'd have to drive my heel and the floor to get half of the timbre that you're getting out of the hard words yeah you'd have to psychologically think back to 13 when your parents said you couldn't go to a concert yeah and you slam your fucking feet Yeah, they're always walking like you ruined my life. Yeah, yeah.

You stole my CD. Yeah, but what are you going to do? But they're great grievous. But, you know, you love them. So that's funny. That's finding one thing to nitpick like that. Oh, speaking to sty and poop, you want to know something funny about the massive allergic reaction I had yesterday?

Yeah. Which, by the way, it came on so fast. My eyes got itchy. So I ate a plum, my apricot. My eyes got itchy. And I went, my eyes get itchy all the time. I'm sensitive to pollen. Yeah.

So I go to put my eye drops in. And now my eyes start getting swollen. I'm like, wow, this must be a bad one. And I took like an alivert, which is like not as good as Benadryl. And then Alibert? Alvert. It dissolves on your tongue. Yeah.

It's like gentler. Less side effects, but not as extreme. So it doesn't make you. It's for itchy eyes. Yeah. Yeah. So then my eyes start puffing up and I go, oh, man, this is going to be a rough one. Then.

So you're allergic to alvert, apricots and plums? Yeah. All right. It's good stuff. I like it. But after my eyes puff up, my ears puff up, my ears like my ear canals swell Jesus and then my sinuses stop and I go this might be worse than I thought my face and lips pump up damn you're probably fucking hot Puerto Rican brother it my face felt like a

basketball it was so hard hot my and my lips were pulsing and hot and it felt like my whole shit like all my skin just felt like man like solidified you're so lucky I wasn't around I would fuck you brother brother so it spreads through my whole body. I'm getting so itchy. I'm so itchy everywhere all much my balls are fucking ripping. Yeah. And then it hits my butthole. And my butt hole swells up. Did you get a good look at it? No. I can tell you exactly what I'm going to look at it. Everybody's on the old touch the toes. Yeah. See what the bun looks like. You ever let the fruit loops sit in the bowl

too long and they sort of expand and dialing? I had a purple fruit loop butt hole. And I had a purple fruit loop And it wasn't until I took another Benadryl. All the symptoms go away. That was when I go, whoa, my ass has been hurting this entire time. My fucking hole. Yeah, that's why you pay for the good stuff and take a nap. I know. I used to get Benny Walloped.

Benny Wallop is what I would call. You take a couple heavy Benadryls and then sip on some red wine. Yeah, I was thinking about drinking. It's like an ant drunk. Yeah. You ever see an elephant eat like ripen fruit? Yeah. The whole tribe gets fucked up.

and the kids are walking in the fucking bushes and the parents are rolling around their backs elephants and your divorced aunt they're partying the same way backyard I'm gonna sleep on my dress tonight guys leave me alone Mumu's gonna get dirty

Do you got Did you have any friends or in your family I had multiple friends who had a problematic Ant come live with them when I was a kid Luckily we had many of them, but there was no room. We didn't have. Our basement was

incorrigible. It was it was a land of broken concrete shattered fake wood walls because we all smashed through them. No, now you see... This is how I know I was a little bit lower than you in the cast system because we see that

and we go, you could put a futon in there. You know why? First of all, you're wrong? You couldn't put a futon in there because it's a pool table. And there's a fucking hierarchy system here. My fan aunt getting the good sleep? Or me striking the cue. Yeah.

We had an uncle who came and stayed, which is much more sad than an aunt. An aunt stain is not that bad. I feel like an uncle stain. It's kind of like that. I disagree. I think the aunt's sadder because you think women can get the fuck out of it.

Whereas a drunk uncle, you go, you feel bad. It's like a dog you've rescued. Where an aunt is just going through some hard times. Maybe you just got divorced, having a pill problem. the uncle, there's no surviving. The uncle doesn't even recognize he has a problem.

No. He thinks things are okay and he's like, yeah, it's cheap. Yeah, the uncle finds a tooth in the fruit loops. I always thought Uncle Benny was just like, you know, fun Uncle Benny. And then then I realized there's a reason why half his teeth were gone.

He was fun for a reason. You know what I was? When I was a little kid, I thought adult teeth just fell out. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. I didn't know. It was from like snorting.

pills. Rodding your mouth. My friend, my friend in second grade, he lived around the corner from me. He had his fat aunt, Shelly, lived in the basement. That's a fat name. Terrifying. Shelly in the basement.

She was a horror story. And she was fucking pissed all the time. Dude, a real terror. Just trudging through the house. And dude, she would beat your ass. It was exciting being over there. I feel like being in Jurassic Park. you see a giant mound of Shelly shit

Take your glasses off Your swollen eyes Watching the water Ripple She's coming Shelly's up She's up She's up

She's trying to take a bath as a six-year-old She's allergic to lean cuisine You can't be feeding her this We did her blood panel She's allergic to lean cuisine Anything low-fack It's Shelly really upset she was going to take it out on us

and your autistic little brother too, I mean being exposed to those levels of animals is good for the personality development Yeah, but you need like instruction along the way You can't just witness it No, you need an anchor That's one of the slots at the bottom

of the Pachinko machine of life And I could end up in that And it will be normal Yeah You need someone being like, hey, I know we're taking care of your aunt Shelley But just so you know she's a complete fuck-off This is all bad Yeah, and the parent that makes that decision

to put Shelly in the basement has to be like on guard going like watching the scenarios and then taking you aside going let me tell you why ain't Shelly did that and let me tell you why it's not your fault You need a post game every time You gotta do the press conference

Post game, Shelly press conference Yeah Stephen Yeah quick Stephen from upstairs And Shelly punched me in the face earlier because she couldn't find the remote Yeah

Any comment on that? He's like, well, we're just running the play like we didn't practice. Everything's going according to plan. Yeah, he's like,

well, dad told me just like, you know, stick to the fucking plan. X's and O's at this point. And I know she has those fat hands and her knuckles have like their indents

instead of sticking out like bony protrusions. And I'm just letting you guys know it actually still hurts pretty bad when it hits the side of your head. You tell you something. Dimples in a palm or the face of my hand,

dude. They throw them so hard. Dimples in the top of my hand. They throw them so hard because they have more protection. It's like when, when your hands aren't wrapped and you don't throw them

because you're going to break them they have all that they're swinging for the fucking fit and they're just punching little autistic boys yeah dude Jesus they probably feel like pro wrestlers they probably feel like the most powerful people

in the world just beating the fuck out of a little weird guys I feel like the dimples on the top of a hand are like chicken grease catchers the channels like on the edge of a cutting cord it's like a shooter

for fucking Japanese cuisine like Saki for fat white women yeah that was sick Shelly Socky I love hearing Aunt Shelley start yelling from the basement I was gonna yeah it's time for a show let's go

speak the fuck out of my friends make my friends squeal yeah the worst aunts and uncles like there's fun uncles and there's like you know the aunts and uncles that are they're not good for the spirit

they're not good for the home fun uncles they treat you like a jungle gym you treat them like a jungle gym and you just you know you fuck around they're fucked up you don't know five bucks more often than any other family member

from a pretty fucked up uncle yeah yeah yeah they get all banged up they give you whatever change they have left in their pocket then they go beg for it from their their brother's sister but the bad ones they take out all their fucking shame on the next generation

of course so I have like in my head I'm not going to say the name because my cousins still listen to this stuff but like there were ones that like purposely went out of their way to shame me and my brothers or the youngest of all of the cousins we had to do Thanksgiving in the basement

of all the kids at this one Thanksgiving house that my mother's sister would house and there was a kids table and I was like 13 and I'm down there I got my mother's one at 12 my father's basement on

finish basement. Please paint the picture for it. And is it just the kids in the basement or is it everybody? It's just me and the cousins. Gotcha. But our family was so large. I have like 100 cousins. I met a cousin by accident at McDonald's when I was fucking 15.

I told this story before. After my senior bonder baseball game, we get off the bus. We go to McDonald's and I get up to the counter. And this girl was like, are you Tom Papa? And I was like, yeah. She's like, I'm your cousin, Jen. And I was like, first cousin. First fucking cousin.

So my dad has a lot of brothers and sisters he hasn't talked to in decades. Yeah. And my mom has 11 siblings. Sure. And they all, you know, they fuck like rabbits.

I had a lot of like half cousins where I would meet someone through like a friend's stepdad who would be like related to like a guy that I see at like family parties. Yeah. Well, that's crazy. Yeah. No connection whatsoever.

No, dude. A second cousin. Treating a second cousin with any type of affinity. It's like, that's like adopting a Nigerian boy to me. me. You're not. You're not blood, dude.

It doesn't matter. Your second cousin, what are we doing? I know. Second step cousin. Yeah, that's crazy. I don't even know what that means. By divorce. I'm still figuring out.

We're related by divorce. Yeah, I still fuck up, my girl's got step siblings, and I'm always like, so they're, you know, I don't even, I don't even begin to understand the webbing of what is it you know you're marrying somebody that already has kids or did they have a half kid with somebody else and then I just come out so you get tripped up between step

and half yeah step in half fucks me up dude yeah me too I have three half brothers and I'm I still to this day yeah to stop myself really quick is that your father remarried no my parents were never married okay actually I don't I don't know if either of them were fully divorced but they my mom had two kids my dad had one kid so they were my half my triumvirate of have two wigger brothers yeah and one kind of cool guy brother i mean that's a gift yeah yeah well i mean without him he was the he was the damn between me and a life of wiggerdom that there's no coming back from yeah these guys are pushing 50 years old they're yeah still you know walking cool yeah dude so true Catching a 50-year-old walking cold

It's crazy Very shiny jeans and walking cool Yeah Do you understand dude 46 47 years old That's nuts Walking with a little giddy up Getting the fucking pointed sideburns and shit

Yeah That's like crazy Yeah That's nuts Walking like you're on a boardwalk Or through like a high school Dude Dribbling invisible basketball

With bad knees That's crazy Crossing yourself up Yeah You got a neck brace on Big Nike's only Yeah They love big nikes

They love cargo Anything Throw a side pocket On a fucking wig They go banana Fucking Fucking painter's jeans shorts Man

You can hold all the keys Of the places I'm staying at Because I can't afford my own fucking rent They're just wig janitors You see the jingle In their cargoes Dude, it's all the houses

are staying Monday through Friday because Saturday and Sunday they're in A.C. I get comped. I've lost enough money. I get comped. That's so fun. We didn't have that grown

where I'm from Iowa. There wasn't a lot of that. Yeah. Wasn't a lot of wigs. Yeah. That's so sad, man. It is sad. A lot of,

what we have is the opposite, which is like gut bacteria where it's like an indicator of a healthy healthy system yeah yeah good ecosystem you need a little a little pro a little Annie yeah we had the opposite which is like dudes wanting to be more country which is also really funny yeah because then it's like that's insane that's more detrimental yeah yeah because you're going the opposite way you're going the opposite way yeah it's like a conservative and liberal you kind of want somebody to meet in the middle you don't want to go hard left or hard right yeah then you become an

insane person yeah you don't want like come to the other side let's all mix and mingle Yeah. We got hit with fake country on the East Coast. Yeah, of course. Well, you go 30 minutes west, they have fucking accents. Well, true, but I'm also talking about, like, people in, like, South Jersey when, like, Kenny Chesney really hit. Yeah. They all went fucking nuts for it, dude.

They started, like, tailgating in cowboy hats and shit. And it's just like, yeah. I've known you since second grade. Yeah. This is brand new behavior. There's no history of this. The bass of those concerts is so heavy. You can say the N-word, like, both.

You have to try to yell it over the singer. In Camden? What a dream. Play Emmer! Play it again! They're all doing N-Cores? There it is, Tim. All right.

But yeah, that shit sucks. My brother went to Texas A&M for a year, and then you got in a pool fight in the second semester. smack some dude over the face with a pool stick got kicked out i thought you meant like swimming that's what i thought too yeah a pool stick no no pool fight like a swimming in a swimming pool oh oh i thought i thought you say he hit someone with a noodle and it was just like you can get it at just the right angle and really concuss somebody i wouldn't believe you that's fucked up yeah well somebody

was fucking when he probably sounded great when that thing snapped oh dude and you know you you feel cool doing that too and then he said you got to like fucking hit the like the little yeah what is that Which has nothing to do with what you're about to do in this guy's face. Chalk it and then chalk it and walk over. A little English on this dude's Mexican face. No, but it was like a fucking full out brawl and he started running towards the exit and he got his hand on him. He thought he was going to get fucking killed because there was so many of the other guys. And it all started with them playing pool and he apparently poked some girl walking by the pool table and said, oh, my bad.

And she was like, it's okay. And then some other fucking country grunt came over. wanting to start a fight obviously and then you know it got weird some big bumpkin came in the stick up from my brother and then my brother decided to turn the stick around to get the meat on the back end and smoked them across the face and then just they all started running and he got a hand on the back of his shirt and he's like I'm fucked I'm dead and he turned out it was the bouncer and he goes I'm alive and the bouncer's like no you're fucked you're going to jail So cops came, he went to prison

Or whatever, the holding County Yeah, county And my dad drove from Philly to Texas To bail him out And said you can never go back to Texas So then he went to Delaware County Community College

Texas was the problem, not you That's what I'm saying You got to stay out of the fucking beehive You don't get stung And then he graduated from Morton All right, this episode is brought you by Blue Chew Guys, enter the room dick first Okay, that's

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As always, get your first month of Bluetooth free. Just use promo code Stuff Island at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Bluechew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechute.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast. Come here, boo. how do you think she was made

how do you think she was made using blue chip how far is that how far is Philly to Texas about three days yeah it's gotta be if you're doing 12 hours a day yeah he just did it last

but your dad drove that dude he asked the source a dad driving and he was miserable the whole time dude he hated it yeah dude he was let me tell you something I bet he was furious the first eight hours

And then he goes, this is fucking sick. Yeah, kind of a nice break. Very fucking quiet. He's not here. My mom barking. Yeah. His other kids aren't in the fucking car. And now he's got a cross-country trip when my dad actually also went to Texas

San out before he was Texas saying that. He probably party before he went to the jail. So yeah. They claim it was like the best, the best time of their lives coming home. That's hilarious. Yeah. So here's the point of story. Your dad did no radio for a few stretches on the way out there.

Yeah, no radio. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked. I mean, that's ayahuasca for a white. A white trash old dude Not doing radio for fucking two days straight And seeing God You start hallucinating at a certain point

Let you let you let's come through A hundred 55 year old white guy alone in his thoughts In the float tank Yeah You know my dad was talking to me about that Because he got he got sober He'd like really bad I mean his liver was like

I mean he's gonna He had like cirrhosis basically And then he got sober And then he was talking about he started doing drives with no music and then he was like describing like you know like intrusive thoughts are he just like kept describing those but he was just like yeah it's the weirdest thing because i'll be sitting there i'll be so peaceful and then out of nowhere i'll just be like i should kill myself and then he just like telling me that and like yeah for sure for sure there's like

stretches where i was like thinking about stuff that like happened before like discovered memory yeah yeah yeah stuff that it wasn't happening now and it definitely did happen before but i was it was in my brain for some reason. Yeah, I just, I could picture the thought. You ever have something like that? I might be losing it. Describing cohesive thoughts

because you're not blacked out for the first time. He has his first idea. I had these two unrelated concepts in my mind and I found something common between. I've never anything like before, Josh. I got to tell you that. I mean, dude,

I've talked about it before, but it was so crazy because growing up he was really, he was a big drinker, but he would drink like, he would drink Blackberry Brandy. My father did too. And so that, yeah, So he would I would pull up to part like high school parties

Everybody would bring their dad's beer and whatever And I would pull up with like blackberry brandy and Marlboro red Cigarettes I was I was like I was 14 pulling up like as a 65 Oh, more schnops and sunflower seeds Let's go That's how everybody knew you were going to be in the military dude Yeah That's a grub right there

It's so crazy I mean Yeah that's what I thought I thought that's what I thought drinking was I thought drinking was like blacking out on brandy throwing up smoking marble reds to convince me it's not my i mean that is kind of convince me it's not once a year i get fucked up a blackberry brandy it's usually around christmas yeah playing pool and in a base aunt shelley's bringing aunt shelley out well you're fully immersed in his drinking experience you're like yo who wants to well i'm going to call some women to come

scream at us while we sit in a crumfy chair. He's in, dude, let's go. I know, I know some girls. He's just calling your moms. Just call your hands. Yeah, just call it in it, Shelly. All right, let's fall asleep watching a show. Yeah, let's watch a Vietnam doc fall asleep.

Let's start crying at this Vietnam dog. That's it. You know, it's fucked up. All these jokes are exactly what I do. I know. I thought that as soon as he said Vietnam doc. It's exactly what I still do. Imagine knowing you're going and not many of your boys are coming back.

That's what gets me, man. There is an era that dads go. The men get to that age where they go, I'm going to watch Vietnam docs. I'm going to fall asleep on. And then I'm going to hop on Facebook. I'm going to share videos of like a dog being nice to a cat. And I'm going to caption it with respect.

I'm going to fall for AI on Facebook. Dude, my mom shared one the other day that was like a guy. It was like a, it was like supposed to be like a soldier. And he was holding the cardboard sign. And it was like, share if you love the troops. And it was clearly AI. A guy was missing an arm and it was half robot armed. It turned into nothing.

And my mom was like so proud of my son for serving in the middle. Like she was like, I'll never not support the, and it was the most AI thing. And I had to call her and then she got mad at me because she was like, that's not AI. No. They wouldn't do that. She's programmed, dude. I was like, that's insane. They're too far.

They are. Some of them don't get it. Yeah. I think it's like part of it's like, just enjoy the show. with what we're about to see with old people and AI I can be like

no they're gonna eat all the money now they're gonna have robot squatters in their retirement rooms they're gonna be living with like a seriously walking around robot

and they're like Tommy I don't not I get rid of you it's a horror it's like what is it what is it taking your money

it's like I don't know what it wants but I can't make it leave Tommy it's cooking and shit I don't know

doing some decent things I tried turning it they got to put on their classes to like to fuck with its control panel Tommy you're good with robots can you come over

here you're good with robots come to get me for a walk good with robots Tommy you guys but yeah the fake

the fake fucking country music so we did then when he got home he pretended to love Garth Brooks after whatever one season in Texas

So we went to a Garth Brooks concert at the FU Center, which was prior to the first union center in Philly. Now it's the, I guess that was, uh... Then it was a tweeter. No, it was the, uh, it was the big one. It was before the 76ers. I know, the Eagles, rebuilt, uh, the Spectrum? No, it was right after the spectrum. I don't fucking know.

Somebody will tell us, I'm an idiot, but... The indoor one or outdoor one? Not the link. It was outdoor. Was it the link? It was prior to the link. What? No, it wasn't Prior to Link.

Prior to Link was the fucking Vetset. It was the fucking Sixers Stadium. I thought that was the Spectrum. No, that's not the Spectrum. Spectrum was the old school Flyer Stadium from the 70s. I thought that was where the Citrus played too. This is important to figure out. It's not because it's fucking up my story.

Everyone's going to make fun of us. Hold on. Core State Center? What the hell was it? They played at the spectrum And then they played out Now it's the Wells Fargo Jesus Christ

Why can't I think of that Anyway it used to be Where the Sixers played Right Is it not anymore? No What do they play now The First Union Center

What? Wait The Sixers don't play Sixers play at the Wells Fargo It used to be called The First Union Center Before this This is fucking 90

This is 98 Okay I'm back 98 You got me. 99. I'm in. Went to a Garth Books concert. Me, my two brothers and all of my brother's friends.

And we're sitting in the, you know, the nosebleeds is 700 level with all the fucking mongaloids. And this guy, uh, head of us has like a cut off your traditional garb, a flannel cutoff goatee, bald head, you know, one point A IQ, just an absolute big belly, eating his fingers, smoking fucking joints. and my brother's friend is dancing with this girl in front of him and she's holding a beer and it's a little bit of it spills on in front of him

and goes on this guy's fucking flannel guy turns around he's got a huge issue took it way too serious we're all like sorry man we're just I was just trying to have fun and then it happened again this guy gets real fucking lippy and then my oldest brother

it's the bipolar attack dog he gets fucking crazy and jumps over and just starts whaling and they go down a couple uh not you know just rows and it comes out to the steps

he gets fucking 300 down rolling cement steps and then we all make our way up to the top of the little section where you know the cops and all that shit can come in so it's all the security's starting to come in and thunder road is blast

cars Brooks is crush it and I can still hear like I can hear it dude it was like it was the most beautiful symphony of fucking animalistic behavior and this guy gets to the top of the steps my brother gets on top of him and he's swinging and I come out of the shadows and I kick this guy in the side of the head and my brother his head's not there anymore so smashes his fucking hand on the concrete everybody starts getting arrested and I dip back in the shadows like a little

cunt and my brother steve gets arrested and a few others including the dude who just got mopped up take us down to the cell underneath the famous philadelphia jail cell so we had to go get my brother and i'm with the girls but dad's in texas so we drive all the way to be like he's he's lost he's having a good fucking time he's still in peace no music and then uh we do the the cell situation was like it's almost like an old 50s where like you could see you through the bars and there's like a little seat and we just saw this dude all knobble up he's all egged up the dude got up banged up and he's like

he him and his girl and she's like he's like I want to sue my brother's scream well fuck fuck you all fucking sue too I'll get you all sue everybody yeah yeah you fucking you naffers and then finally like they just stopped doing it like there's gonna nothing's gonna happen and we just left damn they made you

officially squash it yeah you have to sign a squash before they like you leave the FU center yeah that and like fucking like i don't know yeah what was the other corny shit that high schoolers do or they pretend to love a genre like dave matthews was a big thing for our high school grateful dead like loving the grateful dead as a fucking teenager in the 90s yeah it's like no that's your dad just infected your older brother now your older brother's infected new you're wearing

tie die dude are you familiar with dream theater no you're your dream no it's impossible it's like the most old man prog rock shit ever it's i've tried to get into it as an old guy smoking weed by myself it's impenetrable it's so boring and it's just like the drummer has a 150 piece kit and he plays everything and the guys are just like ripping you know guitar and anyway my two of my boys got into that through their dad and that was like part of their personality i was just like what the fuck are you guys doing not realizing that it was for like middle age dudes in the 90s to get absolutely ripped to yeah yeah but it's that's what happens yeah dad's playing it in the car i mean i've i i imagine organically you give your kids most of your personality but social

aspects it's like they get that involuntarily yes yeah but also it can't be you can't just emulate your father to the the point where you're just him so here's what i think happens i've been I think about this every day, obviously. They're teenagers. Yeah. And I'm talking about shit. I got none of it. I got a dog on shit.

So, shit's a little, little wet, and I'm worried. So they accidentally take on all of your personality. They don't mean to. They do. And then when their brain, because it takes them like 14 years for their brain to kind of come online. Like the whole time, they're making new neural pathways. Like they can't even think when they're like between five and.

but in their head they're like in their head they're just like remembering stuff about video games and shit like that and it's like yeah you can get back to that later you know but the they accidentally take on all of your mannerisms and personality whether they're trying to or not and then like the engine comes like the engine kicks over and they go i got to change everything about this and then they try to peel themselves away from it become a different thing yeah and all of it sucks out of the everything that they try sucks until they learn all of like the responses like yeah like they need negative feedback to you know figure out what should stick and what shouldn't of course until then they're just you yeah and only the good parents will allow that peeling of the onion to

oh dude oh i hate it yeah it's my but you have to yeah the only onion i would refuse if i had a son would be the love for the eagles there's no other option you have to do that one yeah yeah yeah This is the first question I ask anyone that's like a huge fan of a sports sports team outside of the state or city. I'm like, tell me about your dad. Does your dad love this team? They're like, yeah, I'm like, I get that.

Yeah, that's actually important. That's a pass. That's very important. That's the closest thing that are like white families have the culture. Yeah. It's the sports team. It's all in the story.

They've stamped it all out. There's no traditions or culture aside from like, generational sports is our jazz. Yeah. I believe. That's my whole, I mean, that's the amount of, I mean, I think that is, you do get, I think I've just only took, I think that is my personality though, is just being my dad, plus liking the Vikings more than he did. Yeah, that's all he can hurt for. Because that's all that's the best case scenario.

Dude, I did my, dude, I've did my mind. Your dad's probably so happy. I have my dad. Well, the question is why isn't he? Yeah. He should be. Yeah, dude. I mean, I had the, I followed the same trajectory as my dad. I mean, he was in, he was Iowa-born, military, came back, lived there, went to college, whatever.

He did it. He worked in radio for a while. And then that made no money. So then he started doing construction and being miserable. And then from there, it was like, I followed the same. I took the pivot. Yeah. I took the pivot and I'm going to come right back to Mason City soon.

He was probably happier about. football than he is that you're not an alcoholic. Yeah, yeah, dude, he's probably like you see the game last night. Sam Darnal actually has a fucking arm on. Healthy liver, never saw that coming. Yeah, I'll take good. He's picking apart the zone coverage.

He just calls me, like, dude, he was, there was a while there where he was, this was insane because there was, uh, you know when like the orbs were going around in Jersey? He kept taking, this was when he was like heavy into percassettes and drinking. And he would call me and be like, I'm at Orbs right now.

And I thought he was like full of shit. I thought he was just like legit hallucinating. And I think he might have actually been seeing something. And now he won't stop like his new routine is like he does, he does nightly checks for Orbs. Which is also bordering psychosis. Let's get him reading about, let's say, I don't know, CIA mind control. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's let him go deeper because he's stuck right now at a level that there's not really much to play with it. But that's a good level. It's stuck at it. Let's go. Because you don't want your dad getting fucked. We do. We want your dad talking about tall white aliens.

We want your dad talking about interdimensional being. Yeah. I don't know. This orb shit is nothing. This flying rock that's aliens about to attack the whole fucking in November. He also, because he was like a construction guy's his whole life. And then when he got moved, the news getting ready to retire, they put him, he was working for the city. Then they put him in the office.

And he was like Googling shit on the, he didn't, he learned how to use Google. And then was getting in trouble for like just Googling. like he was just Googling like tits like legit just typing in tits and then was saying he was trying to look at art which then got his art yeah

that's an old guy for tits you're trying to look at tits you're trying to look at the 45 tits your audio favorite artist is like Mia Khalifa you're like I'm looking at art right now you find it perfectly

but then he went from tits to like looking up conspiracy theories and the guy's like this is great that's guy fucking rules you said nothing negative yeah it's not negative that's interesting

every time my dad starts complaining about like the city of philadelphia like the local government i'm just like yeah but dad come on man it's all eventually someone's controlling all like i try to send him down yeah you're trying you're not talking about the mayor right now this is coming from osad obviously i mean there is i feel like the the the grounding foundation of a father, son, uh, relationship, regardless of, I don't know how to say this, but like generations in terms of like technological development, social and economical

changes. There's one grounding foundation and typically is sports. Yeah. It's yeah. If you can relate to your son, they know if I got my boy here for three hours on a Sunday, they're not going be emotionally available for the most part to be like, so how are you? But if you could just hang out with dad for three hours. So I think that's where they press on you.

You know, the importance of going, you've got to love my team because otherwise you're not going to see me ever. That's so fucking funny. Ever. That's so funny. My dad's probably so bummed because I don't bleed green. I'm just not a big sports guy, but I am better than him at guitar. So I think that might be a thing. That's

fucking a lot. You got a fucking hard. You got a You got the guitar dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guitar dad's fucking rules. Guitar dad's, too fucking rule. I don't have sports to pass down to my kids. Yeah. And so what Ben, Ben's 14.

Uncle Dammy, don't get me. What's damn he comes in? Fuck up their hair. Nice hair. What do you mean? You got fucking similar hair. I'm talking about tossling. What the hell?

All right, all right. You think I have similar hair. That's so nice of you. What the hell? I thought you were being disrespectful. Um, so what Ben gets is, uh, our paths will cross at the end of the night I'm just getting home it's bedtime for him

yeah and it's like yeah you could stay up a little bit later if you want to hear me kind of fucked up in the kitchen breaking everything down for you yeah so now he'll get like an hour and a half talk at the end of the night where I'm just like look man I worked a long time yeah let me tell you what it's like out there so that's our bonding moment

during the day we keep it light it's just focus on the game of Fortnite Zero build you're not going to understand this it's rape what fucking Tony Hinchcliffe said to me was special you'll get this year's down the road there's a song by Stephen Wilson Jr.

called I am my father's son do you know Stephen Wilson Jr.? Incredible. He's like a musician's musician and he's like I guess he's considered folk country but this guy's lyrics are fucking they strike you to your core

and that song is like to summarize everything we're saying I am my father's son it's talking about fighting your genes fighting everything you think your dad is negative and then after years go by you just realize like you know one of his lines I think is like the tree doesn't fall from the tree doesn't grow fall far from the apple

and it's like regardless of how hard you try to swim against the current you're going to fall in the same gene as your fucking father. Yeah. Yeah, you're going to get fucked up off brandy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That will come back in season every day.

Yeah. Yeah, you're going to cry at an Iraq war veteran documentary 40 years from now. Yes. It is that. It's just the cycle. It's a cycle of watching. Yeah. My daddy cried at the Vietnam.

Watched it. His daddy cried at the Vietnam documentary. My daddy's daddy cried at the Vietnam documentary. Yeah. but dude just watching them bashed their head against the wall trying to be a new person it's just like come on man

there's already a pretty chill guy you can be yeah well I mean I'll speak for you but your kids are very unique you did a great job you and your wife yeah they're beautifully intelligent they're very nice of you

they're exceptional kids that's incredibly kind I truly mean that's like the you know only important thing I got going on yeah pretty cool it's not you I mean important trying to say that less

why I don't know I got called gay you know I got called gay at a fucking dinner didn't like it so much did you you see how it feels

no no this is the yeah so my brother Steve my boy my oldest brother him and his wife come to visit us

in Austin and Steve he's gonna hate this he keeps telling me not to use his fucking name but hey Steve shout out uh he's he's still like

so delco where he's wearing some wild shit from like so many years past where it hasn't come back you know what I mean like he'll wear like cargo plaid shorts that are like past his knees wig wig style he wears like fuchsia v necks there'll be like a fucking magenta pink golf wigger what is it I think it's no I think there's like a

and I grew up with a lot of my friends would do this where like they would just take wrists on like colors but like way too late you know what I mean like it's not fashionable it's just what like Gap has on their for sale rack I'm like yeah I got a wedding coming off I gotta get like

like semi-colored yeah they think like I still have I see them on fucking online where they're still wearing like a light belt and light shoes has your brother ever taking a selfie at a funeral we've I mean like I'm in a suit you know what I mean respect is earned not given

because you're because white dress never get invited to weddings to take the picture. No, no. You're going to take a fucking hot pick at a funeral. I could do suspenders

at the funeral. I might have got a picture out of it. Yeah, yeah. That's my brother. Taking fashion risks at a funeral

where it's suspenders. I'm going to go for it. I think I think Lisa would have loved it. Taking your jacket off before the burials just for a photo. Just as somebody

for a few likes. You got it over your shoulder for a picture for the kid. I'm not exaggerating, dude. At the wake. Oh, dude. Having the widow hold the photo.

Hold the camera. We know what's at. That's a bad angle. We got to read. Yeah, there's no one here. You take this picture first. Hold on the screen's not responding. There's tears all over it.

That's so good. Oh, man. That is the ultimate white trash move. Dude. Is taking photos at funerals like that. Taking classy photos at a funeral. Oh, I, uh, yeah, I had a, yeah, I've had so many relatives do that and we're just like, that's nuts. Bro.

Okay. And there's something, like, semi-sad of my oldest wigger brother. Dude. I mean, bro, head to toe in Philly's gear with fucking Mike Schmidt on the wall behind him. Yeah, dude. What are you six? he's got like a nice lineup with the beard that he's got a good beard edge of that thing is nice

I tell you know the guy's still in the he's still in the program dude you start losing that edge you're getting kicked out just bought a waggoner straight cash peep the sweats bro

you ever seen maroon sweats on a 46 year old man before Damn. Yeah. This target outfit goes hard. This is crazy. I know. I shouldn't be shown us.

He watches. Well, shout out, what's his name? No, I'm just kidding. It doesn't get cable to next year. We don't communicate.

It's on site to the death if we ever see each other. For real? Really? Yeah. Yeah. I got one of those. Bad blood?

Yeah. Good. Fucking sucks. Nah, that's all right. We don't have to kill a 50-year-old wigger. Nah. You don't want that on your hands. You'll start morphin.

It's like a vampire. I don't, I don't fucking. I'm playing games with the dog father. Okay. Shut it. Dude. Hanging.

That's, he's crazy. A hanging chain of Jesus Christ below your nipples is fucking nuts when you're not a nun. That's none like. You've got to go beneath the nips for a nun. The rose.

The nuns, the nuns had hanging crosses to their belly butts. To assert dominance. Those religious dominance. God. Yeah, that's nice stuff. Only God forgives, though. So it's like, yeah.

True. And I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six. So it's like, God forgives I don't. You know, what I'm saying? Because it's like you never know. Today could be your day. Tell me he has dog tags.

Fake dog tags. For sure. Dude. I remember my. My second oldest... Your dog tags with sublime on it. My second oldest wigger brother had dog tags hanging from the rear of the mirror of his bea gritty era. Red interior.

That's so great. That's crazy. Never served. Yeah. Dude, dog tags. It's a mindset. You don't need to. It's about the mindset.

Yeah. He's serving right now. He's serving. He's 15 to life. I was kind of born in the trenches. He's always on duty, bro. Yeah, dude. You never know.

Yep. that's crazy so that's my whole thing all right so of you man why you rubbing your head me yeah I don't know

no I just it exhausted me oh I'm sorry I miss having fun no you don't you hate fun imagine I don't know anyone that dislikes fun

more than Tommy don't start you can't stand it you get so stressed out by a fun look at you I get stressed out I'm having too much fun you have the worst time ever right now

I'm mostly exhausted and angry because I'm constantly having fun. Yeah, well, not that I've seen. All of my... You don't have fun. Fuck you, dude. You don't have fun. It's always work, work, work with you. You don't know how to cut loose.

Why you started? Start what? I want you to have fun. Yeah, I'm on Tim's side for this. I get it. I know what you're doing now. You want you to fucking do. And I'm actually falling for it because I'm getting worked up.

There's nothing to fall for. We're about to get another hour and a half out of this. Dude. Have you ever heard of chilling before? I fucking chill. Yeah, okay. Dude, I didn't drink last night and I got fucking, my nightmares were. You're not THC beer at all?

I had one THC beer and it fucked me up. Yeah. Because I'm not doing them consistently. But this week I'm going to do every night. I do it was five milligrams. I know. And then people, remember when we were on last time? It's nothing.

Remember when I talked about the 100 milligrams last time I was going here? Yeah. And all the comments were like, I don't know if this guy's like a faggot or something. Yeah, 100 milligrams doesn't do nothing. It's like, stuck my fucking dick, dude. I did it and it crushed me. It's also, that's also the corneous high school shit to do. It's like the weirdest.

It's like, count your bottle couch in your pants. I'm not saying I have like a high tolerance or anything, but like saying you got fucked up on a hundred milligrams. Look, if weed is your thing and weed gets you, like you've been building a weed tolerance, it's like, I'll fucking drink you under the table. I'll fucking destroy you. We'll put two bottles of fucking mezcal next to us. We'll drink them all night. And we'll do it for seven day straight. until you ruin your family

let's go you fucking now he's having fun I've been having fun I'm getting tough about any fucking shut the fuck it's corny it's like do one shot of her and be like this guy's flying

we have no feet pick literally any game I'll bury you let's not talk about fucking tolerance fucking pussies what kind of wait are we doing a pot on Thursday yeah what are we doing well as you know i shoot it outdoors i just did one by a pond with gardini i saw that and we did some fish why don't we why don't we promote that right now uh tim butterly's show uh it's a lovely program

it's awesome um i i you know when the weather isn't pristine i go and we you come over my house we watch some fucked up internet stuff but usually it's nice outside we can go somewhere i typically let the guest pick um i was thinking we we we go to like a batting cage and you can fix my, I don't know how to hit a baseball really well. We do that. We just post up at something like that. We do, uh, or drive and range. I've been there driving range a long time. I just

found a new golf course that I'm a big fan of. Perfect. Let's go post up at a driving range. And it's not far. And we can hear the people in the background. Fuck! God damn it! Oh, do you have a pucodo! Oh, fuck. Can't see that.

That's what I was thinking for doing that, though. Yeah, we should do that. If you're down for something like that. I'm absolutely down for something like that. All right, cool. And then I'm going to take, uh... We should do a whiff a ball. I'm going to take Josh to a, uh, where you can, somewhere you can throw grenades

and he can show me as a military experiment. Just, just, look up. Again, I've said this so many times. Just go to a H.E.B. or central market. Pick out a couple innocent children and let Josh, let you know how he would kill them. Let Josh call in a drone story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll fucking punch out to work.

Let me paint them with the targeting laser. here's the angle you want to take through the chip aisle to kill them we'll be live artillery but they'll get the point yeah we'll do

yeah yeah yeah it'll be a jar of pickles I'm just throwing cans of Dr. Pepper in just Randy Johnson and just that's what I was dude I got on

I got on a drunk binge the other night watching nothing but Randy Johnson highlights I mean dude you forget I mean it's like you when you watch

like the greats it's like you do not forget holy fuck dude somebody posted a racist fucking meme about John Rocker and I watched that thing for fucking three minutes straight and I was standing up by the end of it dude

saluting for you crying I was like why are you hard and crying right now you wouldn't get it dude you'll understand someday son dude oh yeah that's that's

having wet dreams yeah it was I guess it was on the heels of that manhattan shooter and then I don't know somebody fired up john rockers like fucking speeches like post game speeches

because there was a fear of like somebody there was like trade rumors of him going getting traded to the Mets or the Yankees and he just started shitting on the rail system he's like can you imagine P on a fucking on a fucking M train around all these foreigners and he was like saying some open

crazy and then it just it would just go right back to him like fucking throw a 95 back door and then just be on just fucking dude I had a neighbor who

it's not fully related but my neighbor had Frank Thomas was doing batting practice when you played for the white socks my neighbor went up to a game he's like six years old and like Frank Thomas like let go of the bat when he's swinging and it hit my

my neighbor who was like six at the time in the kneecap just shattered his kneecap so whenever I see Frank Thomas I just think about that like anything you get paid yeah really yeah that's why they don't know actually I actually don't know I actually I probably shouldn't say I know but I don't know what happened but I know that he came back

all fucked up with a Frank he had a bunch of Frank Thomas gear well it's all they do Frank Thomas is huge yeah he has photos of him yeah dude he's like seven foot two that's Noah's art coming on his black hands My one friend was a pigeon And he got hit by a pitch

It's one of the greatest He exploded I don't think I'm pissed The pigeon press conference Post-prision press conference It's just a beak Yeah The pigeon somehow says the N-word

You got a bag of ice N-word It's kind of a little birdneck frame. It's really got to get back to the drawing board. A pigeon's all fucked up. A little pigeon cane. Yeah, got to get back to fundamentals. I actually wasn't even playing a sport.

I was just sort of cruising through the air, which is what I'm supposed to do. Oh, yeah. My friend, get me a ticket. I figured to stop by. I got blown up by a baseball. Dude, just getting rocked by that. It was like 97 miles an hour. The odds of that happening.

No, crazy. I mean, it's insane. one of the greatest sports clips of all time. I think it is the greatest sports clip. It's fucking insane. I don't know what's a better sports moment than that. Well, there's a lot, but you could argue a lot. Yeah, I don't know.

Who do you think you are? I am. I don't know. Autistic kid in Chicago grabbing that fucking foul ball. Yeah. During like the world, when he was. Yeah, it was a championship to get to the World Series.

Yep. Would have put the Cubs into the... I was like young when that happened. Into the chip. Yeah, I remember that. What are the other one? Or when the Pacers went into the station. hands and just started swinging on

those are the malice at the palace malice at the palace that fucking mist hook to that fucking Italian wig dude that would have killed that dude's sneakers would have been in the

fucking upper death they would have hung like the banners after it like sneaks in a wire in a shitty city yeah yeah yeah let him know they're selling

jobs a room or my hometown if you saw sneakers in front of a house on the wires they were selling drugs there and it's like there's zero chance that's what that meant um all right timmy so you got all your plugs in who me yeah yeah thank you nice to come on i love you love you too i hope you feel better yeah i feel flying the fuck josh you want to plug something yeah calm down Tommy uh you're getting real tough uh yeah just uh if you go i have a medieval web series that you should check out Tommy's been on it

James McCann's been on it, Casey Rockett, Camp Badgers. A bunch of people have been on it that you know. It's called Off With Their Heads. If you can go to that on YouTube. And I also have a podcast, Friendly Fire podcast. Thanks for having me, Tommy. Yeah, of course, pal. All right.

This is all right. Check out Joderosa's look at this coming out tomorrow. And then we have a Patreon coming out a day or two after that. So thanks for your support. Oh, go to, uh, Well, they're going to miss your show. We'll be in Cap City with Matt McCusker on Friday, 7 and 9. Woo!

And that's it.