Stuff Island - Tim Butterly - Stuff Island #225

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Tim Butterly joins Tommy Pope this week. Tim is the host of Dad Meat and The Tim Butterly Show - Comedians Chris and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a blast, folks. Check out our second channel @LookatDish where Tommy Pope and Chris O'Connor cook elaborate meals with your favorite comedians SUB TO THE PATREON: PATREON.COM/STUFFISLAND Sign up and get 10% off at https://www.BetterHelp.com/stuffisland Go to http://nicnac.com/STUFFISLAND and use code STUFFISLAND for 20% off, or use the store locator to find Nic Nacs near you. Get lip bricked up. • Warning: This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://www.RocketMoney.com/STUFFISLAND Chubbies is here to keep you comfy and looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code STUFFISLAND at https//:www.chubbiesshorts.com/STUFFISLAND #chubbiespod New players can wager five dollars and get FIVE HUNDREDSPINS over TEN DAYS on your choice of Cash Eruption slots.Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with code STUFFISLAND, and start spinning! The Crown is Yours. Inpartnership with DraftKings Casino. Gambling problem? Call one eight hundred GAMBLER. In Connecticut, help is available forproblem gambling call eight eight eight seven eight nine seven seven seven seven or visit C C P G dot org. Please play responsibly. Twenty-one plus. Physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. Non-withdrawable Casino Spins issued as fifty spins per day for ten days, valid for featured games only and expire each day after twenty four hours. See terms at casino dot DraftKings dot com slash promos. Ends March fifteenth, twenty twenty six at eleven fifty nine PM Eastern Time. Follow Chris on IG:   / achrisoconnor   Follow Tommy on IG:   / tommyjpope  #comedy #comedypodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't even care about Vaving, watch us. You're trying to take a fucking ride. You're taking a ride right now? It's whatever, man. Well, now I'm fucking paranoid. Can you flip that screen? We get some slack on the cable, too.

He's going to trip on the fucking cable. Oh, my God. What are the odds? What are the odds? It's also an empty can. I've never seen an empty can cause anything. Is that a compliment to my host?

I guess so. Yeah. I've never seen terminal velocity on an empty can indoors before. Embarrassingly, dude, I,

I, you did it on purpose. You self-sabot. No, no, no. I was looking at you when I did it. Show the tape.

I know, I felt like you're doing it too mean. Yeah, so we just lost the first 17 minutes of a dual podcast,

so we're just going to fire that up at the end of this and start over. Ruin your fucking night. But I was doing... Whoa, your mood was way better

at the beginning of the other one. The 17 minutes were a nice time. Don't freak out now. I stood up and I started doing the football twist as a quarterback. So you step and the opposing upper body is going this way because you want to create a launch point. Yeah, you want enough of a...

You don't step and throw. You step and wind up. Okay. And then toss. Twice the runway. Yeah, I was watching some Twitter highlights. Some game tape, yeah. Yeah, I fucking, I muted pawn stars. Recently. Last night. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So there's a little something extra. I'm doing this in the living room, dude.

A little something extra on the white claw surge. Yeah, maybe. Yes. We, you gotta do what you gotta do? Put some whistlers in it too. Yeah. Some howlers in the can.

Let's start over. Okay. Hey, glad to meet you. Glad to meet you, pal. It's just a new setup. It's very intimate.

Just do the whole thing over again. Make fun of my jeans. I make fun of your shoes. What was the first thing that we talked about? I don't know. Who gives you jeans? No, let's talk about your fucking,

your boys fight. I want to talk about this. Oh, he's not in a fight. Not yet. No, he's not yet. It's brewing. But there's a kid chirping at him. Yeah.

I just went through this with my youngest. Trits? Yeah, and like, I don't know. You guys don't have kids. What's he five? He's eight. He's eight? Yeah.

You're around him a lot. What the hell? He must have surged. Cut that start over. Hey, Timmy. Hey. Nice to be you, man. So what's been going on with your family?

Oh, man. You know, I'm just dealing with the constant challenges that parenting brings and no one ever prepares you for it. And even if your parents do a good job, I don't know if they ever fully explained like how they did anything. I don't think they even knew what they were doing the whole time. Yeah. And so you run into every day in your life as a parent, you run into something that's been covered on sitcoms before. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, well, obviously I'm not Peter Griffin. I can't just do what he did. Yeah. So I have to invent a solution for every problem I have every day. Yeah. And so my 15 year old said he had a, there's a dude

chirping at him at school about this like girlfriend that he has. Yeah. And I was like, what are you going to do about it? He's like, I don't know, man. I think I'm just going to ignore him. And I was like, yeah, for sure, you could. But I said you could also put your palm on his face and push his head into a wall as hard as you can.

Yes. And he's like, I don't know if I want to do that. I was like, you don't have to. But you're six feet tall and really strong. So it's like you can kind of do whatever you want in the situation. Yeah. And so I kind of left it up to him because if it was my daughter, I would say if you don't kill put on a shocking display yeah you're gonna be in danger well lucy lucy's a freak yeah she's a

freak of nature athletically yeah i've i've probably psychologically led her down a dark i'm gonna i'm gonna interrupt you a lot here because hey i know your children and your family you have enough you have enough uh experience to yeah yeah she i watch videos that that your wife sends to me and my girl of her like meats and stuff. I've seen her destroy her brother, your son. Oh, yeah.

It is so impressive watching her. You felt her power. She tries to bully you. Oh, yeah. And she can. Yeah. Do you think her schoolmates

know what she's capable of? Has she ever released this? No, she's kind of like quiet at school. You know, she's like a nightmare to be around at home at school. She's like, just trying to get through the day. Actually, no. I found out that she's like,

she bullied some of her. her teachers, dude, she was like, she told me that she's like, I'm the one of my wrestling team that can tell my coach that he's like fat and gay. And I was like, you're not really doing that. She was like, yeah, it's like this funny bit that we have. And I'm like, yo. It does sound like something I would do, but like, yeah, it's not the same with like. She's the closest to you, you have. I don't know what Prince is going to be yet. No, it's fortunate. It's awesome. Ah, yeah. Well, it's awesome. During Thanksgiving, he made a, a wonderful, Pican pie.

And his daughter said something and I swear I got a salt Tim's face. His daughter goes, you're lucky I'm gay. She took the plate from him. And you said, you're lucky, I'm gay.

And I don't know why. That's so funny. Just grabbing a plate of pecan pie. Just going, you're lucky, I'm gay. Dude, imagine an 18 year old girl

walking around every day just talking the way I do on podcasts. It's so funny. And it's the most jarring, unsettling. It's not even like, I guess it's funny, but I'm mostly just like,

Yo, chill, stop. Well, yeah, you're the dad. Yeah, but then... Everybody else is having a great fucking time. Yeah, she's a nightmare. But so I don't have to worry about her. She wants to throw her weight around and like be kind of like a dickhead, but you laugh at it, like kind of thing. Yeah.

I've had to like, course correct her over time and say like, yo, just so you know, if you're going to be fucking with people like that, you also need to be like really reliable and generous with people or it all falls apart. Right. You're just going to be alone. Yeah. And so I think she's got to figure it out. But yeah, Ben's a sweet. What's... Ben's a sweet soul.

Ben is a sweet soul. He's got zero aggression in his nature. Yeah. I would say passive, almost to a fault. Which I can actually relate to more than Lucy. Yeah. Lucy's like me as a grown-up. Ben's like me when I was his age.

Isn't that great? That's why you have to have three. I don't want a problem. Yeah. Every one of them's different. You get one kid, you're like... Yeah. Yeah, that's because you got your mother's jeans.

You know, do you hear shit like that? That's why you don't play football. You're built like your mother. You get three of them. You see it all spanned out. 80, 50, 50, 50, 50, 70. Yeah. Now you're having a fun time.

Oh, it's a blast. Yeah. It's definitely a blast. It's definitely like a civilization building video game. Yeah. You have control over so many little aspects and you go where is this going. Anyway, I don't have any guidance. I don't know what I'm doing.

Figuring it all out. And I told him that when this kid chirps at you, you need to make a display that lets him know that he can never do that again. Or this is going to keep happening to you for the rest of your life. And that's kind of where I left it. I didn't give him anything more specific than that. that. What about the option of calling him gay and saying you're obsessed with guys?

Quiet violence. Where you have a conversation with him prior to making that executive decision to put your hands on. Like you whisper in his ear and you grab his penis really hard and you go, hey, we can keep going down this path that you want. But I want you to know it doesn't end well for either of us. All three of us, meaning your ass. I have nothing to live for. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I told him he could do that, obviously. Just like cornering the dude going, hey man, that's disrespectful. Don't talk like that ever again. I'll add that on when I get home. Yeah. For sure. Because I know, I know he's, Bender's a very sweet boy. So like, but he's capable.

What if you push Bender and he flips the fuck out? What if I tilt him at home? Yeah. So he goes to school. Don't do that. Ready to spas. Don't do that. You're saying.

No, I think you're on to something here. I don't want you to abuse your boy at home because that'll become a fucking second way. And I go, ooh, is this what you want people to do to you? And I'm just like pushing his fault. I'm not hitting him. Yeah. We're just pushing his forehead and I go,

oh, is that what you want from people for the rest of your life? Because that's what you're going to get. Yeah. And then he goes into school all like bay bladed ripped, dude. You go to give him a piece of pecan pie and you throw it against the wall.

Eat off the floor. Yeah. Because that's where you think you should be. That's where you're at the table with us. Yeah. You want to eat on floor. Me and the kid that's bullying you is going to sit here and eat the fucking pie.

Like a dog. You want to be a little bitch, boy. You take the fork, you know, toss it in the other corner, make them run. Yeah. Yeah. I like this. Hey,

I say these are your choices that you're making. This is a good theory. Mm-hmm. It's a good. I'm glad I have you, buddy. It's a good Delco Dad theory. Yeah, my friend's parents used to, like,

make them like a bare-knuckle fight in the backyard when they got in the altercations. Yeah, I kind of wish I had some of that. No. That's insane. I mean, they are great boys,

but... You need some of that, though. You need a bit of it. That's the... I think physical abuse with your children and, like, again, I don't have children. but it's like baking a cake.

You know what I mean? Right. You can't put too much flour. In precise amounts? Precise amounts, right? And if, you know, a little bit of vanilla extract might be the belt. You know? The flour might just be a smack on the ass,

which is the majority of the cake itself. Right. The icing. Verbal abuse. Tasteful amounts of verbal abuse. Yeah, because too much. Too much. Too much.

It's cloying. Yes. It's too rich. Yeah. And every now and then you get a backhand, and that's the lemon zest on the top. That's the citrus bite. The acidic bite at the end.

That cuts through the richness. Yeah. If you can manage all of these varying levels of abuse, you make the perfect cake of a child. Oh my God, structurally sound. Three tiers. It's a three-tier cake. Three tears, carried by one guy.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Never even tilts. Male baker. A male straight baker. Can you imagine? No, that's truly how I believe that you become. And then also social abuse.

These kids have to be, you know, your children, luckily were raised in northeast Philly for a while, Kensington. Yeah. They've seen enough of like how to handle themselves. Yeah. Then you come here and you're like, this is a fucking cakewalk.

I know. And we've kind of, we front-loaded all the trauma. So they grew up in Kensington early. Yeah. We moved to a nicer place. Yeah. Yeah.

They dealt with that for a little bit. And that was like, you take the donut off the bat. It's like, yeah, I was, you know what I mean? And now we live here and it's like, bro, guess what? You're your, you're Superman. You just landed on earth. You're batting 450.

You have superpowers. 60 home runs a year. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, you're enormous and strong and you're psychologically impenetrable. That's 100% truth. Yeah. We'll see how it goes.

I'll update you guys. There's always a chance that one of my kids ends up like overdosing. And I genuinely mean this. No, I genuinely mean this. Stop. No, because I've spoken. spoken too much about parenting on podcast and stuff. I guess it's like one of my things, obviously.

I didn't know that. We never did this year. Parenting and video games is basically all I have, right? There's a chance that one of my kids ends up like really negative outcome. And then it's just going to be like, well, there's 10 years of content where I guess I was full of shit the entire time. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, I think about that as well. Yeah. When I'm dead and my kids. What if painters' jeans end up being gay? And you were wrong the whole time. That would suck. That would be the same thing as one of my kids dying. Well, this is, this is again, a testament to growing up

in the 80s in Philadelphia. This is what the cool guys were, right? Yeah. I just don't have the paint and blood on them. I think you should get some. I should get some blood on. We get some tears, some drywall. Let's find out where Bender's fucking bully lives.

I'll beat the fuck out of his dad. I'll smear on these jeans. Yeah, that would rock. That would rock. And I'll take his glasses off his face and I'll hang him in my belt loop. Yeah. My hammer loop. I want you to talk to my uncles real quick.

Hey, there, kid. Hey, what's up? You see you got a problem with our nephew here. Yeah. Just enough exposure to that stuff. And I think they're well-suited. I don't think there's any Italian people down here, dude. You might shock.

No whops. Like seeing a black guy. There's no wops. I was at a place called mongers around the corner there, which I love. Mongers? Yeah. And some Deggo came in that's from like New York or whatever. And we've immediately like just two, just two Labradors.

Everyone started plugging the ears from all that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. What's happening? Yeah, it's like the H-back and it's. Jim. It was on the deleted episode. Well, you'll understand that callback joke. Great callback.

Extra. Extra 15. Come on up if that is. Yeah, Josh is making a Christopher Nolan film this week. It'll help. It's still fine. It'll help.

She's your own. What's your worries about Fritz? I don't know. I don't have an update on him yet. He's only eight. He's only eight. I don't know where he's going to go. But for right now, he just does everything that I do exactly.

Yeah. pretty cool. Yeah. I think you're just, you're seeing the sweetest gem of a boy and you just assume it can't be this great all the time. There's no way. It's got to be a hard turn. There's no way he lied to MJ for the first time yesterday. He lied about turning in a eight years old. This is like a slip. You try it out. You experiment with lying. Yeah. And it feels like the end of the world. Yeah. When you're a parent and your kids make the same mistake right on schedule as every kid in the world, you go, I thought I was going to a better job than everybody else in the world and I haven't and it was all it was all stupid and pointless I shouldn't have gone down this path yeah and so he said he turned in his picture day form

and uh she found the picture day for him in his backpack oh wow never turned it in last night and she goes what's this and he was like oh oh and he had this whole story about how he turned it in when he got before that she was like you told me this whole story about you know you turned it in yeah you didn't and he was Like, uh, and that's a creative mind. It's like bro. He's creating a false reality.

He's a deviant and he's a failed experiment and I should never had him, dude. He's a liar. Oh, I saw him. He was eating. It's hard to avoid these thoughts. These are dead serious thoughts where you go,

oh my God, he's capable of lying. Yeah. I, this is, I fucked up so bad. Yeah. What?

I, it's natural. This is no, I'm telling you these are normal parenting. Actually, I might be mentally ill myself. Yeah. Anytime.

time. Any new challenge you go, this is because I fucked up. Yeah. Oh, great. I blow it. So you're constantly, the guns point it right in your face. Oh, no matter what they do. The buck stops with you. Yeah, but they're fucking. There's no one that you can blame it on or go to. Every single, every single thing in your life, there's a chance you can go, oh, that show sucked because the crowd was whack or the host was bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, you know, everything. There's only so many excuses. And I, and I participate in that, for sure.

But when your kids are, when your kids suck or, or, you. even when they're just normal, you just go, oh my God, it was all me the whole time. But I've, dude, up until 13, they're just dogs with human features. They're fucking, they're retarded. They're useless. They're useless.

And they're constantly following around. They're cute. They're adorable. They're sleeping on you. You love when they snuggle up on the couch. They take nats. They're a pet for the first 13 years. Yeah.

Yeah. And they just want food because you're the leader. And then they get a little bit of agency. You're the leader. And they disappoint you every day. And then they meet a wolf at school. And they go, I want to be a wolf.

And I'm going to start disrespect to my parents. Yeah. I don't need to follow them around for food anymore. But then they start going, where's my food? Would you say? You got to get whacked at the table. You got to whack them at the table. Give them a little flour at the table.

Wait for the ice. I like the cake analogy. The cake analogy is phenomenal. I think you could probably stretch that into like a 45-minute bit. Me, I'm Italian. You know what you got to do? Abuse your kids. It's like a cake.

Yeah. You're going to second comic. Have you seen Tommy's cake pit? Oh my God, dude. You know, that's a challenge. They're going to do it. I'm going to fucking do it. I'll stretch that in the 10 minutes. No, it's going to work. It's, I mean, it's, I don't want to. Why'd you say 45? It's going to sit with me. It's like olives. Would you drop the olives thing, by the way? Ever. When do you see how I edit this? Was I out of line about the olives thing? No, you weren't. No, of course not. You were fine. I was fine. You're fine.

Why are you holding on to the olives? thing. I think you're wrong. There's a chance. But it's like, I, when you brought it up, when you brought up the olives again, I went,

no way. Because I said, they really overpower a lot of stuff that they're in. You've walked around with that for, it's got to be three weeks. What?

We just shot it last week. We shot it five days ago. Josh. Josh, can I get a timestamp check? Actually, dude, every week to me does feel like a month. Let me hit that.

Dude, was last Sunday. Let me show you how much I can get a bit of this. There's no way it was less than two and a half weeks ago. I promise you. Wait, was I in Philly last week? February 15th, bro. It was a month ago. What?

Wow. Two weeks. Making me feel crazy. One week is nuts. It was Sunday. It was a Sunday, though. Yeah, I was out of town. Is that a town?

No, it was not a Sunday. It was not a Sunday. It was Sunday after Valentine's Day. Okay, yes, it was the day after. Because I saved all my cump

for my boys. I pretended to have a belly ache. I ordered Chinese one. It's not sitting right. I have a headache. Tim and Mike are coming over. Save this load. Oh,

my sack pulsing on the boys get here for sandwiches tomorrow. Yeah, it was fun as fucked up. Oh, man. You want to talk about baseball? What's going on with baseball? The World Baseball Classic, which is like the Olympics for baseball essentially.

Okay. Was Brazil involved in a big story or something? Something happened with Brazil? Yeah, I think they... And America. They got rocked, but I think there was a... Well, we played Mexico last night. Okay.

The story I'm interested in is the Czech Republic pitcher is a full-time electrician. Whoa. So, like, all the Latin teams are really good, right? any South American team decent enough. Brazil is a soccer but you're talking Venezuela, Cuba, the Dominican Republic. They have no idea how to use their hands in sports.

Without a baseball bat. They're kicking the ball, the catcher. That's a good dad lesson. 200 miles an hour from Sao Paulo Frigarero. It's a Latin guys and Japan. Japan is, they won last year. They're fucking unbelievable.

Oh, yeah, Japan. Otani's on the star. but they're great. I'd love to see a baseball game in Japan, by the way. Oh, they go fucking nuts. I'd love to see how they misinterpret parts of it too. No, no, they're locked in, dude. They know more about baseball than American. No, I just mean about like the concessions and like, and like the stadium experience. Not the game itself. I know that they are studious. Yeah, yeah. And they've probably, I mean, I bet I if you drop the Japanese team in America, how would they do? I mean, there'd be a Jap in this fucking hammer loop if I was waiting at the concession line.

they'd be two of my back pockets. They don't know how to socialize. Is that what you mean? Right. That's what I mean. I'd love to have the baseball stadium experience in Japan. But if a Japanese team came to America and played like, I don't know, a baseball team. Yeah.

How would they do? Most of them love Otani in L.A. Everyone loves Otis. For sure. So the Dodgers stadium is loaded with Asians. So if the best team in Japan played the Dodgers, how would they do? Is it like high school? boys against the girls soccer team.

Japan would rock them. This episode is brought to you by Draft Kings. We fucking love Draft Kings. I love Draft Kings. I don't have to work with a personal bookie like I used to in the 90s. You know? Some degenerate kid that took his book from his dad that just died. And you got to give him too much money.

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Ends March 15th, so get on it. 2026 at 11.59 p.m. Eastern Standard time. What the fuck happened in Connecticut? They're getting in trouble in the draft. F King's ads. This episode's brought to you by Chubbies. We love them.

I miss them. I did Chubby's original shorts. It's like their khaki short type thing. Are you on the five-inch inseams yet? Yeah, I go five-inch. Of course I'm in five-inch. I don't respect to anyone past a five-inch inch in-seam. A hundred percent.

Well, respect is a crazy word. Yeah. But it's a real mark of character if you're able to commit to a five-inching seam shorts. Seven's fine. Seven's not fine. Five. Bro, come on, man. I'm getting into European three.

I'm going to get the three inch soon. In the next three years, I'm going to go. I can't let you get past me in enzymes. The fuck you can't. I will see. Olive oil skin. We're in an arms race. We're in a legs race.

You got to start shaving your arm here before you beat me, pal. I'm telling you right now, it's one of the most comfortable bathing suits, if not the most comfortable bathing suit I've ever had chubbies. Also, they have this everyday workwear pant that doubles as a golf pant that I wear. It's March Madness. time, Tim, and you know what that means? Buzz or beaters, underdog stories, and watching everyone's bracket predictions completely implode. It's a time of excitement and a time where legends are forged.

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That's a great transition. That's a great transition. Little training wheels on the thigh meat. Little training wheels. We're all heading to briefs, man. Four inch, five and a half inch and seven inch seams for those that are weak. No, no, no, no, no, no.

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The net gives you itchy butt cheeks that I will never deal with again. Well, the net catches the sand while you're fucking body surfing. I don't give a fuck, dude. Rakes your nuts. They don't even want to go back. I'd rather have an ounce and a half of sand

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Shorts.com. That's 20% off your order with code Stuff Island. Give your thighs the VIP treatment they deserve with Chubby. Support our show and tell them we sent you. Japan would rock the Dodgers. Japan as a whole.

The Dodgers, however, are the best team in baseball. That's why I'm saying. Well, no, actually, that was a lucky guess. You're saying the best overall American baseball team are the Dodgers. Yeah. That would be tough. But Japan, the best Japanese players,

so you're taking the best Dodger who plays for Japan. Yes. Oh, yeah. So to take any other team, Team Japan would probably rock most MLB teams, most. Outside of like the top three.

Why are they not doing this? This is why this story is so... Josh doesn't agree at all. He's shaking his head, no, and his hair's fucked up now. You don't think fucking Team Japan's gonna rock the Minnesota Twins? They would beat you by 30 fucking runs.

I think the question is, his question is just an MLB team versus an average Japan team, yeah? Well, say a really good one. No, he's saying Team Japan. Well, can I be honest? I'm not being specific enough. Let's say, let's say the best team in Japan instead of an All-Japan team.

Oh, yeah, no, no, I'm a little. And it'll be a destroy. Okay, but Team Japan would come over here and dominate the MLB. They won the World Classic. Is that the one that's happening right now? Yeah, but the last world. How long has the World Classic been going on, by the way? And is the World Series kind of just, like,

like, yo, what are you guys doing? Well, a lot of, a lot of people consider being world champions in NFL, MLB, NBA. It's like, it's not the world. But it is because there's, there's world players. I'm sure. Some all over the world. But it's not. The former Yugoslavia basketball team is probably pretty good.

But it's like, yeah, you're not in the NBA. Well, this is what I'm leading up to here, Tiz. There's teams where like, you got no shot, man. You're just showing up. This guy was literally starting against Japan. His full-time job is an electrician. The Czech Republic guy. Czech Republic.

He's just an electric. That's a rugged job, dude. There's no way their electrical system is anywhere near. And let me tell you. You watch the footage. He's wearing it. He's got a giant beard.

He looks tired as far as. His eyes have lightning coming out of them. There's sparks in his white glowing eyes. He's right. He's fully running. He's got a white hat on. He's teleporting and shit.

Oh, he's dodging bunker busters is getting the job. Yeah, this guy like literally took PTO to throw four unhit innings. I've done some really good podcast with a full-time job. What? I've done some really good podcasts with a full-time job. I can relate to the world baseball classic. Four no laugh innings.

Yeah. But it's so impressive, dude. Yeah. And the guy walks off the mound. I got emotional. Who's the Czech Republic guy? Yeah, they pulled him out. He waved his hat, said, sorry, I couldn't pull it out.

The Japanese are too dominant. No, he had a pitch count. So apparently in the WBC, in the pool areas, there's pool A, B, C, and D, and all the countries are lined up, you know. They have a hard limit on pitch count? Yeah. Oh, that's a thing.

I don't know enough about this. How many pitches does it take to dominate as a pitcher and finish the game? A hundred. Oh, so you're not playing the poll game. No. And if you're going unhit, if you're throwing unhit, you've got to keep them in until the arm falls off. Right.

Or until he loads the bases or gets like first and second and they're about to score. It's zero zero. This guy goes four point two innings unhit against the Japanese. But it takes all 65 pitches. Takes all 65 pitches, which is a lot. But the guy could at least got to 7,8. Then you pull a reliever in from the bullpen. That's how normal baseball works.

you get to 80 to 100 get to 6, 7 or 8 pulling the guys that have been resting and they throw straight fucking demons right down the dick Right, all the batters are tired and he just sends him home early He sends heat down

Yeah But they don't let him This guy was on course To throw the greatest game of all time But because the magic of this guy That was just an electrician Is one of the most beautiful Sport-related stories

I've ever seen And they unfortunately have to pull them Well they just got bombed today by Iran That's what the surge is doing to me What's your thing about Iran, man? What's your whole take on that? Oh, Jesus Christ. Tim?

We're talking about kids in baseball. I love how everyone can get it. You know, when you're Iran and you go, here's one for everybody. I like that. That's cool. Anyway, back to baseball. Yeah. I can't touch that shit.

Mm-mm. Talk to you afterwards. I'm not going to fucking... No, I don't think it's great to engage on, you know, the fucking global sci-op, obviously. a waste of airspace for sure. When I die in my kids eight and he's gonna look back

at all these stuff I own episodes he can hang his head in shame for dumb shit I'm not gonna talk about politics. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Oh and especially like the surface level like information where you're just like

They read a paper three days ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell you. Dude, sometimes I watch reels because I get caught up in that. I don't watch a reel and go, wow, I didn't know that. That's factual. Now I feel this way.

And my first reaction is that was AI. Everything I've seen is AI. Brother, it's the first comment. You know, everything is the first comment is Grock. Is this AI? Everything is AI until I, until proven otherwise. Netanyu's been dead fucking six times. Ooh, I like, well, okay.

And it hasn't been revealed yet. It hasn't taken. No, it hasn't taken. It's been 22 hours since they said he died. I didn't even see that. To a bomb street. I'm busy. I've been playing a new video game, so it's like,

I'm weeks away from news. That's what you want. we he josh and john or chris have got me playing hell let loose do you like that king it's a real challenge it's very difficult and i'm it's out of my league yeah it's actually it's tough to imagine someone enjoying it it's like that i played it it's out of my league these guys they just want to hang out and i'm like i get it yeah but like i just want to i want to zone out can i can i give you uh go ahead josh

to i join before like you killed thomas I didn't know. Do you guys know my gamer name? No. It's girthworm Tim. I like that. So if you're playing Arc Raiders and you get fucking plinked with an Osprey 4 from across Buried City. Yeah.

And it was girthworm, Tim. Guess what? That was me, you fucking pussy. I saw you and I dropped you. I also know. And if you killed me, you're a rat piece of shit and you play the game gay. How much time it takes to get good at some of the games that I see? I'm like, that doesn't interest me.

That's my meditation. I'd rather go in the backyard and pitch a golf ball. That's a great idea too. It's like I'd rather work on something that that's physical. Yeah. And I have friends that are emotionally straining. I have friends that are only in video games. What?

I have friends that are only in video games. I have a social life completely removed from my real life and it's only in video games. Well, you have a whole crew that I don't know about. I would say crew is probably a bigger word than what. this is, but I have like probably three to four close personal friends that I only play video games with. Have you met them yet? Because I've seen these videos where

these fucking fat dorks meet up in a park. Yeah, me and my friends are trapped. And their wives, like, set up like a fucking autistic dork meet. Yeah, we have. Yeah. Have you done it? I've made stops on the road to drop in in towns where I have video game friends and they hang out. And some of them have redirected like family vacate, like not family

because they don't have kids, but like, They like them and their fiancee or wife have like, well, we're going to do an extra day so we can stop it in Philly and we'll like get lunch or something. And yeah, we'll meet up. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out Dennis. Shout out. My fucking retard homies are way back. Are they, are they? Shout out. I eat rocks. Yo, it's every day with these dudes, bro. I talk to these guys more than my real life friends sometimes. That rules. Do you have a personal chat group that you go, we're going to log on the way these animals do? Um, some. times. Some of these dudes I've met... Or do you just wait to find them online? Yeah, so some of these guys I've met in game and some of them I've met through like Discord, through like podcast stuff like that.

I play with a bunch of podcast homies like fucking Pike and Miguel and shit like that. They'll see this. They're the bros. But yeah, these are important, I think, modern male relationships. Yeah, I'm not... It's just foreign to me.

I'm not saying it's not important. It is important because I get a kick out of talking these guys. What I don't get a kick out is getting my fucking ass worked. Yeah, for sure. Because I'm not good at the game. Yeah. So there's this game going on right now

called Arc Raiders and, uh, um, um, I'm sure you have gamer listeners, okay? I would hope so. They're going to go,

wow, he's talking about, he's talking about, they're going to love this. They're going to hate the sports talk. No, I don't know, I think.

Yeah, it's a nice hodgepodge. So, the first 15 was the best. So check this out. There's a, there's a, there's, there's,

there's, you mean the last 17. Right. Right. Right. Right. So there's just game, Art Raiders, right? And it's this cool setup, okay?

So it's, it's, you could do solo, you can do trios, doos, okay? And it's you and either one or two friends or by yourself. And the story is humans live underground. And every day, if you're a Raider, Arc Raiders, you travel above ground and you fight and scavenge robots and you bring that stuff back. The technology? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, you're bringing back all kinds of different resources.

There's a 30 minute time limit. You're dropped into like a town in like post-apocalyptic Italy. Yeah. And you fight these robots. And now here's the thing. Other guys are playing the game too. And they load in as solo. As the robots?

Duo. No, other guys. And you can on the fly, you can communicate with them. You can choose to work together to fight the robots. You can kill each other and take each other's stuff. Oh, you showed me something about this. Yeah, it's so fun. Where you guys were taking an elevator ride?

Yeah. Was that you? Well, that is part of it. Yeah. And you have to get to. Where you guys, you got past a mission. Yes. And then got an elevator route.

You both tried to kill each other. That was the N-word one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course it was. Oh, Fritz got his first N-word in the game. So it's got called the N-word in the game for the first time in his life by a guy that we had just killed. Now, whatever you do in the game for that 30 minutes, if you don't get out at the last before the timer runs out,

an orbital weapon lands and kills everybody. And you have to call an elevator, which takes like 45 seconds and alarms go off. And so all the robots hear it. All the guys can hear it too. And they can either try to leave with you or come and kill. kill you and take your shit and leave. Ah. And if you don't get out, you lose everything that you brought with you and everything that you

found. So you have to protect yourself until the elevator doors close. Yes. And then it's just you and whoever's in the elevator. Yeah. And so the clip that I showed you wasn't a clip. It was my game. I know.

Yeah. That's what I said. And so what happened was I got to and I had like a contentious round. I teamed up with a stranger. We didn't trust each other, but we worked together anyway. That's how it's so uneasy. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like a guy you work with like a, I don't know. A regular workplace. Right. You don't need to know that much about me, but if we don't work together right, safety goes out the window, someone's going to get hurt. Yeah. It's that kind of thing. Yeah.

And so me and this guy have an uneasy alliance and we go to leave. And once the elevator doors close, you're pretty much home free, unless you're already like injured and your health is draining. So we call the elevator together. We go, G, gee, man, good playing with you. We'd been talking for like 15 minutes, a stranger. And it's just like, yeah, there's a lot of weirdos in this game. You're like, yeah, for sure, dude.

You know. And so we call the elevator, the doors closed. And before the screen goes to black, he starts screaming the N-word and shooting me. Knowing that he can't kill me, there's not enough time to kill me. He's just doing the funniest thing ever, which is turning on me and screaming the N-word at me. It was like, like, Rembrandt painting you something. Go, yo, check that out. You know what I mean?

It was like a great, a Renaissance painter drawing a dick and balls. In the year 2026, it would be worth $40 trillion. And he goes, that's funny, right? And he tears it up and he throws it away. That was how personal and impactful it was. So when you resettle back into the game, can you find this guy again? Yeah, you know his handle. You can see who you played with and you could send him a friend request and you can send him a message like you're a fucking piece of shit.

You're a loser. You play gay. Yeah. Everyone that kills you is gay or a minority. And a lot of Indian guys. Yeah. And that always feels bad to get killed by them. Yeah.

And it doesn't even feel that great to kill them, which is a crazy imbalance where you're just like, oh, it was just an Indian guy. Oh, dude. I would have loved to kill a white English native speaker, but I killed a guy with an accent. It's like, that might as well have been a fucking robot.

Yeah. So it kind of devalues the game. Yeah. I'm getting away from my point here, but... I feel like the first time we played the hell let loose. Some... It was like a pack of like kids from London were talking shit and I lost my fucking mind.

Yeah, I will not be talking about. I lost my mind. And I just stopped the game. I went at them hard making fun of their fucking, you know, their whole culture. Their whole teeth making fun of their moms. Yeah, you guys are fat. Yeah.

The whole thing, I went hard. I went hard. We're fat too, I guess. But it doesn't matter, man. It's talking shit. There's no rules. And I just pause and I went, I can't do this. Pond stars.

Hmm. But I, you know, I enjoyed Red Dead Redemption a lot. Did you play online and talk to people? No, I don't like, I don't like playing with people that I don't trust and love. It's the best, dude. I don't fuck with that. You get to exercise parts of your brain that have been dormant since the times of, like, throwing sharp sticks at like, Sabretooth Tiger. Yeah.

It's the most primal experience available to men to me. I mean, that's, you're what you're, talking about as archaic sports. Go outside. Throw a football on a cat. Anyway, that game was getting too soft. Arc Raiders was getting, now here's what's happening in Arc Raiders.

Every time someone dies, there's an argument on the crime scene about who shot first. It's like, why are you even shooting us, dude? We're just trying to play the fucking game. It's like, you shot us first. And it's all very on a, I don't like it.

Yeah. And so now we're playing a game called Marathon, where there's no friends, it's all enemies. It's kill the robots, kill the bros, it's on site with everybody. And I think I'm trying to make an adjustment

and go full-time with that. I'd be full-time with just, I like the games where the CPU is, you know, the bad guys. And then I get a group in the dudes. Because I grew up, you know,

in the 80s where like your boys would just sit around you and we'd like take turns. We're all in the same team. We're all in the same team in a way. Now they have these team games that you play together, you're like, all right, let's just be on one team and kill the bad guy.

But now the bad guy is like a, it's a, you know, a level you can't be. The bad guy's always other people. Every zombie movie, every disaster movie, there's shocking, deeper truth to it is that the other people are the real problem.

Yeah. And that's, I want that in video games. Otherwise, it's just like, I'm just fucking watching anime tits jiggle while cool music plays, you know? That's my game, babe

I'll let you sit behind me why I play that game So that's what's going on with me right now That's my whole thing. No, that's great. That's always been your thing, though. I appreciate that. Yeah. I'm doing your podcast next week, your new podcast.

Yeah, in Rainey's backyard. You're not sure? Yeah, no. The way you said it. I'm happy you're doing it. Oh. What the hell? Are we going to do something or just sit there?

Well, we could do whatever we want. We have a whole backyard to do ourselves. for the, we moved our podcast studio to a backyard for Dadmeet. I think it's great. It's so chill. Yeah. Even this switch made me happy. This is not, this is cutting edge.

Yeah. This is. When Chris gets back, he's going right there. I'm not even going to look at him. You got to get him in the cuck chair. Maybe holding your hand while you argue with somebody. You do it so good, babe. You do so good, babe.

We should get gopros and throw football. Yeah, I think that's definitely been tossed around for sure. We have a Nerf Howler. You ever talked about your podcast idea or you don't want to put it out there? We talked about it together on stuff on- I know, but not on- Why aren't you doing it? We didn't talk about it on air, did we?

Yeah, I think so. You were you have a catch and talk about your dad? Yeah. Primal mail. That's almost as male primal as video games. How fucking cool is that? Mm-hmm. Well, it's not about ha.

It's about these fat mongoloids I can't throw football. Yeah, true. You're going to have to get bowling balls for some of these guys. It's all fat. Fat autistic drunks Yeah Play boccey ball With some of these dudes

Because they can't get their Everyone's got fucking scabies Or fucking bedbugs here Yeah Motley crew Just seriously socially deficient psychos Yeah

And fat man That's everywhere That's everywhere I mean that's been comedy For 15 years since I've done it You got these basement Dwelling fucking bedbugs They can't handle their face

meat. So they're always looking down with their shoes because their cheeks are weighing down like little fucking fishing lores. Yeah, it's, I think the sport thing,

I tell you, I tell you every time I see it, man. Me, you and Rainey can do something fun. Yeah, I think anything. It doesn't have to be American gladiators, dude. Just something to be active.

That's my dream. If we get the tennis ball cannon from American gladiators, that would be nice as fun. Wait, where was the day American gladiators set and is it still up? I'm guessing LA. Silver Lake or something like that. I think we should see if it's, there's no way they broke it down.

There's no way they built a vertical treadmill with a tennis ball cannon and then broke it down. That's crazy. The way these networks work, as you remember from from Delco proper. Yeah. The studio or whoever bought it will log all of costume, anything they built. They put it in a warehouse and lock it up. So all of our lumber shirts, our shoes, our boots, our jeans, as soon as that wardrobe lady says, give me your clothes, they put it in a fucking a storage unit, lock it up. Anything they built for set in a storage unit. So somewhere there's a pack of Jews locking up the American Gladiator studio and set.

There's a black security guard. There's a fat black security guard stopping anyone from hitting the fucking arm. Well, that's what they're doing in there. He's just firing against the wall. How much would it cost for us to all pull our money and build the agro-crag? Brother. This episode's brought to you by BetterHelp. Guys, we've spoken many times about Better Help.

We love Better Help here. We're taking a moment to celebrate women and all that they carry at work and relationships and families and the many roles they hold every day. We were just talking about women on our podcast, the women that we love and adore. March includes International Women's Day, a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also recognizing how much they carry every day. Between caring for others and managing unseen responsibilities, their emotional well-being can easily be overlooked.

I'm carrying all of the groceries. They carry responsibility. We want to remind women how much they matter and that therapy offers a space for them to take care of themselves in the way they deserve. The goal. You know, the goal is unity, you know. We want to invite listeners. to pause and reflect.

Is this all written? No. Oh, okay, cool. That's why I'm looking at you. Yeah, yeah, no, that's great. Yeah, okay. I think a little unity in the household before I emotionally reacted to this. If this was just boilerplate script or this was time.

No, this is a good indicator of like your relationship with your wife. It's a beautiful synergy. Yeah. So if you take care of yourself first, it's like when the mask drop down, they say put it on the baby. You put it on yourself first. Yes. And then give it to the baby. That'll save the whole fucking family.

With better help, put the mask on first, Tim. It's also great. She's already got a lot to carry. This is women's international. Going into an argument knowing that you at least tried something, I mean, bro, it's an emotional nuke. That's all they want. Better Help has quality therapists.

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That's better help.com slash stuff island. Tim, this episode's also brought to you by Rocket Money. We were talking a lot about your credit score increase. I signed up for Rocket Money a month ago. Yeah. Get out of here. Yeah. Was that because you couldn't figure out your monthly spendings and what you were spending it on?

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And there's nothing I love more than personal responsibility. Yeah, but it's accountability. It's accountability. For me, I need accountability. Without judgment. Yeah. You know, this is like a personal trainer for like working. out. I don't need, I can get to the gym, but when I get the gym, I can fart around.

I can blast my tries. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I'm not getting a full body workout the way Rocket Money would help you, little accountability, but you still got to get to the fucking financial gym. It's all on you. It's all on you, man. You got to let Rocket Money help teach you. You got to let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join rocketmoney.com slash Stuff Island. That's RocketMoney.com slash stuff island. This This episode's brought to you by Nickknack. Ooh. Yeah, we're talking about the struggles of of vaping.

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knick knack crush your vice not one paddy whack and the entire thing is fucking crazy dude I want to do the Sideways kayak race or whatever the fuck they did on guts, dude. I thought you were going to say the actual, because it was always a dream of mine. In high school, me and my buddy Cooch, we talked about recreating that set of American gladiators.

And just a bunch of our boys, six on six, would just load up and someone to have the dart, someone had the spears, someone had the grenades. What would it take? And then a tennis ball guy. What would it take? I would say, listen to me. Are we going to just be sitting down and having conversations for the rest of our lives? Are we actually going to make something cool? Yeah.

And build American gladiators to the death. What it would take you is like, I don't know, slip Shane a pill, have him sign a check without his knowledge. I think it would probably take like, probably 300 grand. Okay, that doesn't know. Because you got to buy the warehouse, but it's open space. And then you just make these molds.

We got to get a carpenter to make these molds to hide behind. And then the shooting function is nothing. Okay. You're talking CO2 cartridges. in a way. Right? Is that how it works? It's air powered.

You get a roll? We could buy these fucking machines. Wait, give me a minute. You call on your guy? You call on American gladiator right now? I have... You call him Thor? Bro, I have the dumbest idea ever.

But... We could do also just create a backyard version of American gladiators. How about this? We know a... We're loosely connected to a guy who has created a new, like, post-lasertag shooting scored game thing that has, like, its own dedicated, like, field setup. Yeah. And I, dude, I'm going to pitch, I'm going to pitch comedians playing his game to him. And we're going to see how much money.

I'll set it up. Also, we could just make it. healthy guy who had yeah we can make it but there's already a funny like arena shooter real life thing is like a paintball or kind of but it's like uh it's like laser tag but like with projectiles indoor it could be indoor or outdoor oh sick and i i think i could pitch them putting money into us making it all right and then you put different do you put different balls at different stations so like you get to like 10 20 yards there's just five footballs that you got to smoke the dude who's got the

top gun, whatever it is. You know? This goes back on my dream of having different stations and nets with scoring circles. You get, you get 10, like when you go to a driving range, there's 10 little stalls and different balls in each. Oh. And there's different net stations

with circles, right? So this is green. This is easy. This is five points. And then you go down to like red for like a golf ball. That's 25 points. And you go station to station, you have a different sport and you just accumulate. You have a fucking rounds. It's unbelievable.

I mean, the guys are buzzing in their office chairs right now, hearing this. The athletes are. I know that. Can I tell you something I pitch to Lewis? Yeah. This is a great. Brainstorming's good content, right? It is.

Or is this ass? Should I shut the fuck up? No, this is great. Yo, I have a, I have an idea. I don't know what, whatever. I don't fucking do. I never know what I should be doing with my brain. Okay.

Every, every podcast I've ever done what that was, we should delete that. People love it. Then ones I'm like, that was great. People ate it. None of this matters. Okay, great. We've been doing it long enough to just fucking eat it. I know.

Thank God for stand-up comedy. Like olives. Go ahead and throw the ad right there. I have an idea. You mean that, that's a fact, you pig. Yeah. I have an idea. I had his great night with Louis J. Gomez when he was in town.

And we went to a billiard hall. And we didn't play any cool. It's the one that was close to getting shot up next to the Bufords. Was it? I'm sure unless you went to The place is called Copper Tank Copper Tank Oh no

It's a couple blocks from seven grand But it's a billiards place But they also have like Midway games Like throw a ball at the thing Roll a thing And then they also have the punching game Yeah

Where you punch the speed bag That comes down And my idea is What about Top Golf For the punching machine? And you rent an hour With the punching machine Are there?

You rent a lot of, out of lane. It's just the same thing. Every time. Everyone, well, here's the thing. There's other ones, I think, that have like different targets. And we were doing like, like, a hook, an uppercut? We were competing with one punch at a time.

And then we were doing like, okay, now I was throwing spin kicks on it. It was really cool. That's neat. Probably not getting the extension I should have, but I had to change my jeans for spin kicks. That's why you brought these Russian pants in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to Copper Tank after this.

But, dude, top call for that. And it's like, it's tracking scores between. users and I mean it probably doesn't sound that groundbreaking but we did it basically without the infrastructure and it was the most fun four and a half hours in my entire life yeah yeah all right jabs we did hooks both sides yeah oh the left hand it must be bananas yeah well it's like yeah I did you know I think it's a uh I don't know if it's a great money idea but like dude I could I would it would be the greatest business to ever to have and just show up to every day and just be like oh do Bartle is here he said

and I'm just glad-handing and they're in like the top golf setup where there's like 40 pods and everyone's just in a punching machine lane and I'm just walking around saying hi to everybody and I'm drinking fucking you know sodas and shit yeah I'm sure this is going to bring out the best people in the neighborhood yeah but it's a great place to put even the worst guy because they could punch a thing and not bother anybody it'd be great for Philadelphia after the Eagles loose just get all the fucking abusive fires out there instead of porta potty's you know They start setting up for the parade in case they win. Yeah.

So, punching machines down Broad Street and just let all the Italians get it out so they don't bother anybody all year. You got to grease the doorways. So they don't get up to the roof and burn it down. I'm going to piss. Oh, I'm going to piss too.

Let's pause. Yeah. You go first, please. It's big news I just got while I was pissing. Yeah? The credit score just crossed 700. Yeah, let's go. For the first time since I moved here.

let's go. Am I, I only just crossed 700 to be able to move here. I'm not bragging. This is just, you should be proud of yourself. These are unimaginable heights for me.

Dude, same. I'm close to eight now. No way. Yeah. I hold the balance of like 20 grand a month and paid off.

Yeah. That broad's expensive. I would love for my bitch to be more high maintenance, man. Oh, she's not. It's, it's me. I didn't mean your bitch

is high maintenance. I was blaming her. I go out too much. Well, no, you actually characterized it that way, sort of, and I just put a word on it. Yeah, no, I'll tell you to say that. No, don't do that. She's a good lady.

Well, I'll get ahead of it. Don't worry. And I'll have MJ reach out and say that Tommy's going to take something. I said, I don't know. I'm going to smack her in the face against the wall. This is from doom. You want to stick up for yourself for once? Well, it's great.

I think it's wonderful. Yeah. It's pretty weird. That's what held me from getting a car when I first got here. Dude, it was impossible to get in a rent, a rental property. Yeah.

Because it's like, you know, you know how you, when you make money for, and anybody that, you probably have a lot of like independent businessmen that watch this, obviously.

I track all of our numbers. Or big independent business. It's all, it's all either warehouse guys, like, forklift guys or like independent business guys. Your audience is no different than ours, yeah,

all dudes with wives with big tits, obviously. Yeah. But, they're in construction right now. they're getting fucking. Oh yeah. They're not supposed to be listening

to something right now, but they are. Yeah. And that's going to be a problem if anyone finds out. I'll never tell. Obviously, I'm not going to call everyone

that listens to the podcast, boss. Also, their boss won't give a shit. They'll tell on them. They probably would. They'll get drunk at lunch. Yeah, that's true.

They don't give a fuck. Yeah. But OSHA doesn't track what you're doing at lunch. They only pay attention what's going on under the big orange headphones that protect your hearing

from the loud equipment that you're around? Is that me? No. A bunch of Italians is a loud equipment? That's all our boys. That's all our homies that listen to this stuff.

I do, I respond to every comment that comes in on the podcast. They go, wow, man. I'm sure it's a lot of white collar guys

that fuck with this on the way home from work. White collar. Or at lunch. Outside of the blue collar guys. You think it's white collar guys? I think there's some white collar guys that I like to fuck around

with stuff violent. Yeah, but I'm in it for the, obviously I'm in this for the fucking dirt balls in a dirty, in a rotten. We're talking 955.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the boys in the trenches. Yeah. Yeah. That's who, I,

you know, I make, I make podcasts for the American working man because that's who I am and that's who I care about. Who did you think stood up and took their shirt off when we're talking about the fucking American glad ears. And building like little tire areas where I can throw football to the one dude

shooting tennis players. I was asked to stop coming back to the office kitchen because of your show. Yeah, it wasn't because I reheated fish. Yeah. What were you going to say? I forget. I don't know.

Yeah, things are going pretty good for me. I just wanted to share that. That's fucking. awesome, man. And I was in the middle of a great piss when I got this news. I got the push alert on my phone. Yeah. The push alert, huh? Push alert on my fucking credit wise. My credit wise said, yo, what's up? Are you at that age now where your nuts are holding in a little, little extra? Uh-uh. Your bladder rather, not your nuts. No. Where's your piss come from?

Yeah, no. I just don't know my own anatomy. It has to go past them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're neighbors. Yeah. You know, how you know, how you know, how you know, how you know, when you back out of the dry way. When you squeeze your colon to accentuate a fart, you do the same thing when your balls on pits. You can make a,

you could cut steel. Do you get this when, uh, when you work out? Are you high to or is it just me? No, no, it's just you.

Okay. I'm just rubbing my hair going, do you get this when you work out? You're pretty stone, man. No, dude, everybody thinks I'm always fucked up. I'm always on coat.

It was rubbing the arm air. Yeah, well, it's getting out of fucking whack. I got a short. You combing your arm hair. I put a fucking, I put a fucking, I put a three,

clip to this. I do. I put a three clip to my... Yes, I do. Every now and then, I'll put a three clip to it. It gets out of control. You're about getting like a fade down to your wrists? I do fade it. No. I swear to God. I'll do it. You get a tapered arm hair? I'll do it two in the inside. Yeah, I'll barbara.

I swear to God. I could have a Mexican arbor. Just holding your arms down. Just getting your raped done. You want points? You want points on the wrist? I forget what's going to say. It doesn't matter. It don't matter. Oh, no. When you work out, there's like some kind of pressure to your prostate. Like, especially when I do legs or something.

And then like when I go to take a pee, it, there's going to be a hard, a hard shut off. And then like 30 seconds later, it's just a, aftershocks. Aftershocks.

Uh-huh. And that's been consistent. I haven't had that. One thing, and you've been a, you've lifted heavy as well, Josh. Well, he's 14.

Yeah. One thing I've dealt with historically. and maybe you can help me with this. Maybe I don't know if this is normal or if I can do something about it, but when I do barbell squats, as soon as I hit my challenge weight, I get through the warmups,

you know, I do body weight. Yeah. Empty bar. Yeah. A number on my way to my work weight. 135. Sure. 185.

Yeah. Probably around 200, 215. I'm working right now just because I'm so weak and gay. Do you do all those warmups prior to and then your working set? Do you do three to five of that? Yeah, I do the starting strength method.

Yeah. I've never moved on from starting strength. That's what I do. Okay. Now, when I'm at working weight, and I try to get all the way down, I don't really compromise on form ever. Everyone knows that about me.

Yeah. But when I'm really pushing weight, and I'm doing squats, and I come back up, my right ball goes up inside of my torso. Oh, my nuts are... And sometimes I go, I can't find it. Bro. Same.

You got to push it down. you got to find you got to fish around inside your pelvis and find it and squeeze it out dude when i beat off normal when i beat off three times a day it's just that's my working weight but when you're my nuts will come are you laying now when you beat off though like squirrels around fall they'll they'll hide in a tree yeah my nuts will find their way it feels like there's rodents running around inside my underwear yeah the way my balls are moving around inside my body is that normal it's very normal okay because i never played sports no well you're even if you just if you put a little pressure on your body like sucking your you're not so go up at

different intervals like a like a grandfather clock you're pulse will drift and my one not goes higher all dude i'm talking all the way so far inside my body that it's like i'm like a teenager doesn't want to come out because he's grounded kind of thing he's mad at his dad yeah no Like the way you talk to me, Dad. Come on, come back down. No, I'm just going to stay in here forever. Nobody likes me anyway. Yeah, dude.

Yeah. My ball is a reprimanded teen. Yeah. When I'm trying to move big numbers. Yeah. Josh, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, he's a big. He's a big, he's a big, you've never lost a ball.

But I also have small balls. I'm not saying I got huge stones. Yeah, I think mine are already. But it's a big. tough to keep track of them while occupied with moving big weights. Yeah, don't be, they don't be. It's fine. Yeah, it's fine.

What do you mean? Your core. Oh, yeah. Of course. That's what causes it. No way. When you're sucking in. Yeah, when you, when you, no, you never flex out. When you flex it's always a contraction.

You're contracting. There's no flex that expands anything. You put the belt on with your stuff, right? I've never used. the belt. Use a belt? I'm saying, like, the way that, the analogy that I did, the cue that I do when I'm fucking squatting it.

I inhale and then I, like, feel like I, like, putting the belt on. So when I put the NWL, NWO weight belt on, that's going to push my ball back into its sack. No, I'm saying, like, I'm not cue from my brain to brace. I go, like, you go, like, flexing down in my lower abs. And that always keep my mouth. No, I actually, I shrink five or six inches physically. when I contract, dude, my entire body, I become a dying star and I suck in matter around me.

I'm not pushing anything out, dude. My balls are trying to get to my spine as quickly as possible. Yeah. And that's normal? Yeah. That's normal. Sorry, I know you guys don't lift weights and I'm just trying to, I'm kind of...

What's that? I'm muscle mocking on your fucking guys right now. I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry, dude. Whoa. Look at that. That's spin. You're carrying too much meat on your arm.

dude it's giving you crisp end my arms me yeah muscle i just got a spasm because i'm not tricking enough water it's not where you're not playing enough video games yeah you're lifting too many weights true well i'm still getting the the video game spas sure you know it's usually just from gripping i've pushed through all the elbow and wrist pain that comes with constant chronic keyboard mouse usage yeah fuck that i built up a tolerance yeah yeah that's manno dude, that's baking a cake. I almost, I almost never hurt physically

from playing video games anymore, dude. Wow. I'm not trying to brag right now. It's going to hit you one day. You got to slow down, man. Someday it's all going to go crashing down. It's like, nah, man, I'm going to live forever. I'm going to respawn forever, bro.

All right, Timmy. Give me some promos. What do you want to? I would love for people to come see me do stand-up comedy, which is like I think I'm really great at and I'm doing a good job with it right now. And when's this come out? Thursday,

Thursday. If you live anywhere near Dayton, Ohio, and you're listening to this today, it comes out, I'm going to be at Brickie's Comedy Club tonight. And then tomorrow will be in Columbus, Ohio. And then guess what? Next week, probably every comedian's favorite stop,

Boston, Massachusetts, dude. Which club? You know, hideout comedy? Yeah, hide out comedy. Yeah. And I've worked with these people a million times. I'm doing two different venues Friday and Saturday next week. It's all on Tim Butterley.com.

And then do you know about this? May 23rd. Yeah. I'm filming a guest Digital presents. Let's go. 30 minutes with Tim Butterly and at the Creek in the Cave. May 23rd. Two shows.

Means that can me go both filming ours the same night. I mean, I can't say enough how close I am with Louis J. Gomez. I'm so excited that he asked me to do this. and it's not important, but he said, you're the first person I asked for this batch. And that's not, it doesn't even matter, but he said that.

That's great, man. But no, I, I, uh, your credit's going to go down, but that's great. Yeah.

Credit wise hates this. Yeah. And that's what I like about it. Uh, please come to that. I mean, you can watch it later if you want, but like,

I think it's going to be really fun to be there for it. Absolutely. And I've got links for everything at timbuddly. And then in June, I'll be in Tacoma at, Tacoma Comedy Club five shows in one weekend that's kind of a big deal for me but it doesn't even matter I that comedy club

fucking rules everything else out of it bomb it I love the Pacific Northwest Oh have you been in a while I've been to Tacoma last year Everyone's trans and I took a bus to all the kids No ever finished my shows I took a I took a bus to Seattle oh yeah well There's no American gladiators in the Pacific Northwest or whatever

I'm performing in a no police allowed zone There's homeless people. They built a comedy club inside of an intersection that they took over four and a half years ago. And so you have to wear a mask and you have to wear a swastika crossed out

unfortunately so you do still have to wear a mastic or something. You know you don't like it. And it is under a blue tarp inside of a busy intersection that the police are not allowed to enter. And that's in June. Timbaudilley.com.

It's a perfect exit. Guys, thanks for watching. Tim and I, yeah, we got another 17 bonus minutes from when I fucked up and hit the chord. It's going to be just looking at me. I apologize. You're going to hear Butterley's voice, but figure we just toss it on the back end. Thanks to our patrons, go to patreon.com slash stuff on to see Chris and I on this next episode. Bye. Also, Butterly and Rainey's look at this, the Italian Hogi episode will be out in the next couple weeks. anyone to watch that episode and then go to the deli and recreate Tommy's order without looking at

like a list or notes, I couldn't even start. Yeah. Well, they'll get a lot of knowledge from watching the episode. Absolutely. It's very informative. I would give anything to be able to recreate that sandwich without any of the social anxiety. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Of course. Bye. Oh, this is very intimate, Tim. Yeah. This is the start of our new setup that we'll do. Let me get pointed directly. Let me point my hip bones directly. Let's go on a railroad together here. Yeah. No escape. Yeah. We're playing, this is philosophical chicken right now. It is.

We should also, we should probably golden the fucking China ball. Yeah. I should put that little little texture. That's right. Just get a little bit of tracking B roll of us in the wide. And we're having a great conversation. Just golden it down. Ooh. Do we look

Chinese now? Him and Chris love cafeteria lighting. It's like, no, you got to make everybody a tone different. It's nuts. Because he's a translucent ginger. Yeah, that's why his eyes can't see anything. He's like, you guys want to check out the veins in my eyelids real quick? This dude, he ate him and cheese in a tank.

That's why the sun looks so bright to him. Because he was fucking in darkness for three years. Understeel, no light penetrating. Yeah. Just getting fucking. Then your eardrums exploded while you murder children in a foreign land. Just getting blasted by his biggest enemy, the sun. He's learning to walk again from sunburn.

IED, no. No, my ass is asleep. From murdering kids. I got a tingling sensation in one of my buns. I've got a phantom. Hey, Tom. That's how we start to see. Glad to meet you, Terry.

This is our new podcast. Glad to meet you. This is called Chris is fucking off in Philadelphia. I'm here to deal with the pebbles. He's almost done. No, he is. Two weeks. Oh, it's going to be so happy when he comes back.

Two, three weeks, yeah. He's going to say, you're so brave and strong for getting through that with the happy. You go, don't ever leave me again, man. He said something very disrespectful. No. Yeah, he said, he was like, man, he really held it down. And I was like, held it down. Yeah.

That's your, that's your thank you for. What, what do you want to do? straight. I'm fucking busting tits. Oh, okay. Am I though? Does it not echo with my fucking ears? Held it down? Hold it down is like one of the coolest things a man can do.

And I feel like it minimizes all the Hold it down. Do you have any idea what I fucking do for this fucking podcast? He sounds like my daughter. He's like an 18 year old girl. I am the daughter of this fucking relationship. You have any idea of what are supposed to do this when you were going? I just want to be respected, man. Appreciate it.

Just like a teenage drought. Are you going to throw a, You guys are going to throw a big blast when he comes home? No. A welcome home party. You're not planning that kind of thing for him? No. I would say I would agree with his assessment then.

You are holding it down. You could go further. Yeah, that's what I should do. I should roll out the red carpet for him, baking him a pie. Those letter balloons are you said, hold me down. You should be wearing nothing but an apron when he gets back. Wow. Checks out.

Yeah. That's what I would want. I flip it up. I say, look at dish. Out of a. And I face fuck him for 30 straight minutes. Because we're going to have 30 minutes of ads. that are backed up.

That's what you should do. Yeah. Bro, can I compliment the painter's jeans real quick? Yeah. Way to go. You're the first guy I've seen in painters jeans. What do you mean?

They brought these back. Since like 25 years ago. No, maybe like children were wearing painters jeans five years ago. No one, no adult was doing it. Look at your outfit. You're going to call me I'm a fucking child.

Yeah. No, I'm saying children. I'm saying adults. You wear latex tights. Bro. And fucking. I had a pretty good month.

shorts, I had a good month. I treated myself to a little bit of the outlets. Yeah. And I think I did a pretty good job. You did a great job. You can pull this off. I've said this before.

I have not built for vans. My calves are too big. I'm too stocky. I'm built like a wine cork. You got to be slender and long. Yeah. To have a long, you know,

otherwise it looks like your entire body is being shoved in the van. And they just had to start with your feet. Yeah. It's like the Jap ladies crushing their, rolling their heel into a, you know. They're being bound. Yeah, you're going to get it. That's what I'm looking for.

Yeah, you're going to give you kind of lanky and weird. Yeah. That's fine. I'm good with that. Yeah, but that's the women I like in those too. Mm-hmm. Like the tall, slender athletic builds in the gym. The coffee aliens from men in black?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. They do squats and just flat vans, like, playing vans. Mm-hmm. There's no CrossFit shit. None of that shit. No. They stink.

They smell a bit. There's a kid that goes in my gym. They're wearing yesterday's makeup. He's never not there. He's never not there. I don't care what time I show up. because I'm there consistently, but it's only an hour stint.

It doesn't matter. I can be four hours later, he's there. And the kid smells, he smells like a hockey bag. And they have, they don't have the HVAC. There's no like AC going. They just.

Which I like. I hate HVAC in a gym. You know why? Because when it's pumping. Bacteria? No, well, that too, I guess. But when the, when the air is pumping in the gym,

it creates a weird pressure. This has happened to me in multiple gyms. It creates an insane pressure in my ears and I feel like my head's going to explode. Yeah. so I don't like any kind of ventilation. Yeah, I just want natural airflow. I want to smell my stinky guys.

So they put these old school fans up in corners. And if this kid's anywhere near the machine, I got to look at the fan, find out where the stink ball is, and then look at the machine. I want to why I can't use it. I can't use it. You got to try and get to pull downs.

I think it's a great motivator. You should feel like you're suffering. You should feel like you're in the swamp when you're working out. Oh, God. If you feel good when you're working out, I think it's not going to do anything for it. Well, I wish you saw my gym.

My gym is like always. school. Yeah. Yeah, exposed brick. Old iron guys dropping mismatched weights on the ground. None of the weights look the same. No. No. They don't even have matching kettle bells. Yeah. If there are safety mats on the ground, they're worn completely through. A hundred percent. They're crumbling where the barbed all the rest. Even the mats are mixed match from years and years. Yeah, there's a couple puzzle piece mats in there, here and there. Apparently, the power lifter that started created all the machines. He welded them himself because he didn't like

the way the modern machines were were he was like a a true Olympic lifter yeah his bag of fucking hemorrhoids yeah I was gonna say is this guy's spine almost like a hooking I bet he died on one of these machines 20 years ago yeah all the concrete

bolts are coming out of the floors so the racks are all wiggling around when you walk in there no that's the thing impeccably maintained the engineering is is impeccable Yes. And there's no, there's no fluff. There's no kids videotaping themselves.

There's no loud music. You know, there's, they don't play any music. No, no, no. You know when it's time to leave a gym, the second you go to a gym

and you see a lady with her butt hanging off of the bench and she's got the barbell on her hips and she's doing this. Yeah. You're in the wrong place. While taping. Yeah.

You're in, yeah, especially taping, but you're not in the right spot. Yeah, I grew up in a gym that had a sign above the, the treadmill.

It says no work boots on the treadmill. And that's, that's, lot of restaurants like that. No long teas on the squat rack. Yeah, dude, I've had a few nice meals in those gyms. And that's the thing.

They're all like, they're walking around with like, Tupperware of like refried beans. You know what I mean? These fucking dedicated mutants, which I respect because they're all, they're all. You're talking about the meal prep protein guys. You're not talking about.

Yeah, and girls. Ethnic food. Yeah, and they're always munching. They're always trying to get that extra fucking gram of protein. Remember the one jacked sound guy that we always worked with? Does his name, Joe? Very nice guy, very friendly. You?

Shooting with like bird tax and all. There was the one super muscular sound guy. The Italian guy. And every time there would be like a cut. Yeah, Joey. He'd pop open the top of wear of white rice and chicken. Dude. I got to.

This guy ate every two hours. Like, we get it, dude. Fucking insane. And then like he would take his pack off and his shirt. shoulders like he was just he was a teenage mutant ninja turtle outside of the show. The dude was fucking yoked but not like over the top though.

Which I appreciate. You can go too far. He had a very small frame. He was like 5-6. Yeah, 5, 6, 5, 7. And so it's like, yeah, very, you know, congratulating, oh, you're so big. You're a big boy. Ooh, look at him.

So strong. And he'd just be cracking the Tupperware every time. there was a down minute. Ben's pressing 27 and a half. Oh, my big strong man. That's how I felt about it. He's way stronger than me, obviously,

but it's just like, I'm a little guy. Yeah. And those dudes are like autistically focused just on that. That's their whole personality. Yeah, I respect that. Which is fun.

You know, I've always said these CrossFit kids are just nerds in high school that didn't have a sport or a grouping. So they got a little older, now they have their crew. I could have been a CrossFit guy. You could have been a fucking great crossFit.

Oh, you got the jujitsu. Yeah. Same idea. Lateral move for sure. That's a cult. That's a cult that's purposeful. You can actually use that in life. Yeah.

Well, I would say that being a CrossFit guy makes you more survivable too just because you're stronger. That's the whole starting strength. The longevity of life. The power lifter is more survivable because he's stronger

and harder to kill, that kind of thing. Anyway. You know who also put in that category? Who? Indoor rock climbing people. Wow. Same thing.

Fucking weirdo freaks. Mm-hmm. Can you imagine just hanging out with an indoor rock climber? I went to one and I scoped them out. I studied them. Yeah. I think we were there for like a birthday,

like an adult birthday party or something. Again, insane. Maybe it was a kid's birthday party. I don't know, but I got the indoor rock climb and I studied the people around me. Yeah, what'd you come up with? Any, you have common ground with anybody who pays a membership or has regular expenses to do a hyper-specific thing that requires gear that you can't use for anything else. Yeah.

I like those people a lot. Yeah. I love the dedicated gear people for a thing. And, you know, their social skills probably aren't adjusting the way that they hope they would when they signed up. Yeah. But they're still trying. Yeah, something. You know, I respect the hell out of that.

And it gets you in, like, crazy, good shape. Yeah. But it's like you're a weirdo. You're constantly working your core, legs, hands, forearms. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Your fingers get super big. You get big, gigantic, like jaguar paws.

Yeah. and your arms get super skinny and your head gets skinny. What do the women look like? They stay kind of fat because they're not trying to. I'm not kidding. Yeah, they're still eating rice bowls for no reason.

Protein, dude. You need someone heavy at the other end of the rope so that if you fall off, they go like this. Put my wife on the anchor. You want to sign up? No, I'm good. I'm good.

She's vaping at the base of you. She's like, every phone is you pancake on the floor. It's watching a Kardashian reel. No, it's a vegan recipe. Yeah. She's thinking about trying. Something she'll never cook.

It's like me watching a shed being built. Yeah, the idea sounds great, but you're never going to do it, Tuts. Yeah. No, I can make a waterfall table something. How are things, man? I was just... Pretty good.

I feel really good. I was telling you earlier that we just started going through the edit for the Hogi episode. Oh, yeah. They haven't even seen the look at this yet. No, it's coming out. It's in my memory.

We shared that, but no one else saw it yet, and it's so good. I'm not going to promote that. Usually we post a pick. People get excited. We should have posted something. I always tell my producer,

you stares at the sun, to take a picture of the whole. Crazy. He's fucking delirious. He's got black spots in his vision. Yeah. Because his eyelids are useless. He's a floater.

It's the floaters. He's a human floater. He's a wombat. He's underground. Can I tell you? I went back, I went to a deli, and I tried to put in half the order that you put in. And, bro, I walked away without saying a word. What do you mean?

It was so intimidating. No. Money is no object. Bro. I went to the outlets, dude. I'm having a good time. What we did. We made an Italian hogi.

We got specialty meats. That's not really special. Not really special. And that's why I thought next time we go to the deli, I'm going to get exactly what Tommy got. I'm going to have that same sandwich again and I liked it so much.

And we didn't even have like great bread. And I went to the deli counter and I looked at all of them and I went, you got overwhelmed. I got vertigo, dude. You got overwhelmed. Yeah. And then I was like,

is that even a good one of the thing that I want? There's, there's cheek coats to this where you can just go like, Boershead, quality. And enough. Sure. But then there's also like Italian specific brands

that you might want to go you know, bump it up a bit. Ask the butcher. They want to talk to you. Really? A good butcher wants to talk to you. Because they seem like they couldn't be more annoyed that I'm standing right in front of them. No, that's what we're used to.

I think you're shell shocked from what we grew up with a wah-wah pillhead that didn't want to work there at all. His mom made him so we could live in the basement. These people are like profoundly proud of working at a butcher. Whether it's Central Market or H-E-B or whatever the fuck it is, Whole Foods. And they'll take it. take you to this one side. Have you tried this? This is your first,

the knowledge of knowing. Bro, can I go in there? I told you about when I bought a gun and I was like, I don't know anything about guns. See, that would be me in a gun shop. Can I go in there and be like, I don't know anything about meat? Is there any way you can maybe explain it to me? Well, that was actually what I was going to lead into. Yeah.

Because these people, they get off on that. So you go, can I get a more? And they go, oh, you never had a mortadella. Yeah, you never had a more dello like this. I think I have. I'm not sure. They go, hold on. Bro. Try that.

bro we did this in philly when we were uh making sausage of peppers with the soda and katie okay and we tried to look for cooper sharp because we're close enough to philly couldn't find it and the cheese shop was closed and she was like we don't have any sharp american but we have something very close you want to try this german thing and we're like yeah slice it off and we're both like go to a cheese monger go to a fucking meat guy and just go you have anything close to a genoa salami not he's sharp and he'll just go give me one second i'll slice something off give you a little paste Give you a little taste. And I get fucked.

I get fucked in this situation because I'm just as passionate as this guy. So I go, I feel bad. And I go, give me a quarter pound of that. Give me a quarter pound of that. But you don't even want it. No. Half of it goes bad because I can't, I can't process it. I got Mickey Mouse hands after eating fucking eight baloney sandwiches.

The salt content's fucking bananas, dude. But it's a good time because it's like a carnival ride for me. Yeah. And they're having a blast. I'm having a fucking blast. Right. Go home, have some wine, make a cheeseboard. Don't worry about the fucking.

and bread. Crush the meats. Explore. Explore the everything gets wet and warm on the counter. Isn't that great? Yeah.

Isn't that great? Mm-hmm. But it was wonderful, except for the olives. Olives. Except for the fucking olives, Jim. I'm doing it.

What? How? You disconnected to the barricades. I mean, I wasn't a quarterback in high school. I'm sorry, dude.

We definitely got on that one I'm sorry Anyway the painter's jeans are going great Yeah You know what The last time I wore these jeans He mentioned them too Because he didn't know I wore like

No way That's so funny Because it didn't have time To shut it off I got a piss No way Double check it I'm going to

Repair the SD card Come on dude do something. It's, you know, hey guys, welcome to my camera angle. Oh, now. That's fucking insane. Well, I think...

Cords sucks. The cord, there's way too much tension on that cord, dude. Look at this situation. I was going to say something earlier about this. This is crazy. You've got your signal cables running next to your power cables. I'm It should be flat enough

That I can throw a fucking can And not kill a camera I think what you're gonna have to do Is hand illustrate my reactions to everything Tommy said For every time you need to cut to me It's 17 fucking minutes Mm-hmm It killed all the initial intimacy

I know So we got to start over No they're gonna use move magic Let's just start over and use that as bonus Okay I'm fine with that Yeah That actually is a really great idea.