Stuff Island - Wet your whistle w/ Rough Week - Stuff Island #136

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

Wet your whistle w/ Rough Week - Stuff Island #136 Catch Chris and Tommy on tour now! - https://www.stuffislandpod.com/live-shows Comedians Chris O'Connor and Tommy Pope are making all kinds of Stuff on the paytch. Each week they talk about anything & everything under the sun. Tommy also chefs up some delicious meals. It's a goddamn blast, folks - SUB TO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/StuffIsland - SUB ON ITUNES: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stuff-island/id1448662475 - SUB ON SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/3QvnmWtMlJ0ZC9uUu1Vvdk - Follow Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/achrisoconnor/?hl=en - Follow Tommy on IG: https://www.instagram.com/tommyjpope/?hl=en -Follow Luke on IG: https://www.instagram.com/luke.touma/?hl=en -Follow Christophe on IG: https://www.instagram.com/chrisjeanofficial/?hl=en Go to OmahaSteaks.com and use promo code STUFFISLAND at checkout for exclusive savings on Father's Day gift packages.  Sponsor Stuff Island: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/stuff-island Sponsor Look at Dish: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/lookatdish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The NAs are flown. Do you have only NAs in the house? We have one hard kombucha. Saving it for a special occasion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. You got no real beers in the house?

No, yeah. Well, no, we do. We do actually have some Bud Lights. Okay. We have warm Bud Lights. Nice. If you do want one of those, we can give that to you. Is that purpose?

Yeah, well, we wanted to have some beers, but obviously the cat's on the fritz, so we didn't want to like just didn't want to be drunk at all and dealing with anything. So I literally went to Target last night and got two six-packs of Heineken Zeros

and Scrabble. The cashier's like, you're cat sick? I feel you, man. It's going to be a rager tonight. We're looking at Scrabble and N.A. Cashier's like, okay, you got Heineken N.A., Scrabble.

There's a bunch of toys. Is it the glucose levels? Same with my cat. The funny thing is the NA is when you drink it, I don't know if it's like placebo, but you do get a little buzzed. I don't know that, or you're just like you're taking in whatever it's in there

and you just get a little sleepy. I don't know. I think it's like the beer version of an acid flashback where you're like, I remember how this feels. Yeah, yeah. Right. I have a buddy who drinks NA beers and whiskey. So when he drinks, when I'm drinking.

Yeah, I did that for a little bit. Yeah, he'll drink whiskeys, but then he's like, when I get a beer, I get a Heineken Zero so I don't get fucked up. Yes. That's a good idea. It does balance it out, but the whiskeys can get on top of you pretty quick.

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. You remember when you were on your double Basil Hayden face? Double Basil Hayden? Basil Hayden's a whiskey. Okay, okay. And we would, like, be at a bar, and we'd be drinking, and Chris would go, it's about that time.

Can I get a double Basil Hayden, please? And they would just, we'd be at, like, a shitty dive bar, and they would just bring out a water glass of whiskey. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Patty O'Brien's and we'd be at like a shitty dive bar they would just bring out a water glass of whiskey and just line it across the deck I'm like oh no oh yeah Patty O'Brien's or whatever or whatever Patty's pub

right near the stand that was crazy they genuinely gave me like a pint glass full of whiskey I was like this is insane that's crazy that's the other thing is that what happens is you're drinking regular beers for so long. Like if you're on a real beer bender situation and then you try to drink beers again,

you're like, this is going to just fill me up and not get me drunk fast enough. Yeah. So you switch to the whiskey and then you just wind up fighting people. You just wind up screaming. You're just swinging. It is so funny. The amount of times drinking whiskey that I'm like, no, no, no, it's not the whiskey. I'm mad.

Yes. I'm genuinely mad about these guys. No, I'm actually pissed off. I have good reasons to be upset. I've had fights like that with my lady when I'm drinking booze because you can't win either you're beering all night

you're drinking beers and then you're fat and bloated and full or you're like I'm going to try to stay lean and also not feel like shit so I'm going to drink whiskey and then you end up being like

no no no I wanted to bring this up yesterday I was thinking about this 2 p.m yesterday i thought about it yes i left it until right now because just felt like the right drunk words are sober thoughts yes it does feel like every in every bottle of whiskey there's a guy going you're gonna let you're going to let people walk all over you? You're just going to let her trash you like that? Every whiskey drunk is you staring at the bar going,

you're going to just let everyone bully you? They think you're a small man. You're going to fight back. They think you're little. I've never experienced this. What? Whiskey anger? Whiskey anger. Dude, Johnny Walker gets in your ear.

She's interrupting you. You hate when she interrupts. She always does. She always interrupts. You hate when she interrupts. She's an interrupter. Yeah, and the reason she does is because you don't speak up for yourself. You never You never speak up for yourself

And this has been a problem In every relationship you've ever had Whiskey gives you a victim complex Dude it really does Did you think that That you don't speak up for yourself No no that would be That would be crazy

Tula thought he didn't speak up for himself? That would be insane. Can you imagine? Just all night screaming, being like, I never talk anymore. I never talk.

I'm not loud or brash. That would be like a delusional thing against me. I better speak up for myself? Yeah. I can understand, Chris, you thinking that you're more of a reserved person.

But Luke. You better speak up for yourself. Everyone's walking all over you. What was that thing you said the other day? You were talking about how we're both getting fat. And you were like, I was like, I can't gain weight. I'm going to like, look, this is a bad look if you're trying to make it an entertainment. And you're too fat. And he said, yeah, you also can't gain weight. I'm going to look. This is a bad look if you're trying to make it an entertainment and you're too fat.

He said, yeah, you also can't be fat. You can't do your yelly Northeastern, I hate everything, stick if you're fat. I said, you can't do your mean Northeastern thing if you're a big fat ass. It doesn't work. Why isn't this guy jolly? Aren't these guys jovial?

What's with the sass? Can you imagine a fat, giant, sassy Luke? Just a 400-pound Luke. I mean, that's just literally Tony Soprano. Yeah, you'd have to be Tony Soprano. But he's basically like, he can kick anyone's ass. He gets tons of pussies. Yeah, I'm too.

He also can't be a short, fat guy. Yeah, that's true. When you're tall and fat, you're big. When he wasussies. Yeah, I'm too short. He also can't be a short, fat guy. Yeah, it's true. When he's like 6'4", you're big. Short and fat's like pathetic. Short and fat sucks. You gotta pick one. Short and fat sucks. You gotta pick one.

The thing about a big, fat guy is you go, this guy could beat my ass. He could crush you. But he's being so nice. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

A little fat guy, you're like, this guy wants to kick my ass. Yeah. But he can't. But I will beat the shit out of him. Yeah. I will run around him. Yeah, yeah.

And attack him from behind. Yeah, he's not for the knees from behind. Cut him off the ankles. Yeah. You don't think, Shane, you don't think of as a fat guy.

No, not at all He's just a giant We played pool basketball He told me that you guys played Shane Four on one and lost by like ten points Oh yeah Four on one? It's you

Any confidence you have Versing him in pool basketball He's Wemby He's Victor Wemby. He can dunk without jumping. He's Shaq. How high is the thing? He's just grabbing people

and throwing them. Full contact, full basketball? Picking up comedians. Throwing them to the other end of the pool and then taking the basketball and jamming it. Damn. Dude, it was like a cartoon.

It was like an episode of Rocket Power or something. It was ridiculous. It was me, LeMaire, and Garnier were hanging off his arms and he's just dragging three adult men and he takes these big sweeping steps. We're all like... I literally... It was like I was hanging off the ladder on the back of a boat I was just as much as you resent getting thrown about you there is like that

little kid piece of you it's like this feels like playing with daddy you're a little kid yeah it was like you can't hurt him yeah my big cousin you know you're a little kid in the pool you can't hurt him my big cousin he was like 10 years 15 years older than me I don't know how old he is but we'd get a bounce house every birthday there'd be a bounce house and he would throw me from one side to the other and I'd run back like a cat

or something getting tossed getting thrown into the pool that shit rules there is something very like interesting when you're a little boy about your father just throwing yeah getting thrown places and not getting hurt is like right that must be a dream yeah it's like the dwarf thing you know that's always a thing in like movies like in you know wolf of wall street they like toss them and

like shoot them out of a cannon right right it's gotta be the same impulse of just tossing them it's the untold part of that story which is that

the dwarves love it yeah yeah dwarves are going whoosh yeah everyone thinks that it's like

really condescending and bigoted but it's their it's the most fun they can have yeah I mean can you imagine how fun that would be? Dwarves never lose that.

Yeah, they're getting paid to have a great time. Yeah. They can't get on a roller coaster as the equivalent. There has to be, yeah, thousands of dwarves. Yeah, it's probably like

being an astronaut, it actually doesn't pay that much. Like there's a huge line for it. You think like, oh, there's, you know, this must be like a special set of skills. It's like, no, everybody wants to do this. Especially with like a teacher's salary.

There's a high pay gap. Yeah, he's on food stamps. Oh, dang. He's got EBT. Can you imagine getting haggled down on your pay to get Velcroed to a wall? He's going, I've had it up to here. I'm being mistreated. We're getting unionized.

The dwarf union is the lollipop guild. They have labor unions in Munchkinland. Yeah, dude. Dude, the dwarf union is so funny. It is.

Yeah. Holy shit, that kills me. It's funny to think of the one dwarf kind of like mob boss of the whole thing. You know? Yeah. Just running the show. Yeah. Just the meanest dwarf of all time. Right, he's got like a cigar and like a bowler hat.

At the end of every month, you're going to give me 10% of your candy. And you'll get protection. I'm getting points on the butterscotch. Holy shit. Dude, you gotta think you know how like Samoans like one in every 65 Samoans

is in the NFL? Like an NFL player? You gotta think that's how dwarves are with just being celebrities. Like actors, TVs. What percentage of dwarves are on TV? That's a good question.

It's got to be higher than any other demographic. Yeah. True. With like the reality shows and stuff. You got reality shows? What's that? Little People Big World? Yeah.

Which is... Dude, if you're a dwarf, there's like a one in 11 chance you're going to be a TV star. Yeah. They're probably the most devastated that there isn't a dwarf there's like a one in a lucky chance you're gonna be a TV star yeah they're probably the most devastated that there isn't a real Santa's workshop you know what I mean like when that news

gets broken to them that Santa's not real like what if they all thought it was real there's no such thing as a fireman. No eight-year-old is like,

I want to work at Santa's workshop. You're like, well, I'm not an elf. It's simply not allowed. There's no managerial work or anything like that. You're either Santa or an elf. It's very binary. It's like if a Mexican turns 18,

you're like, actually, nobody's got a garden. America's not real. It's just made up. Yeah, there's nothing on the other side of the border. It's just more Mexico. There's no Los Angeles. Sorry, we were lying about that. I love working with Mexicans, dude.

I've been hanging blinds. They're crazy. Yeah, are they? They're very hardworking. It's like insane how hardworking they are. I've never seen them... Also, they love soda. Oh, okay.

They'll be sweating fully covered in... They're doping. Yeah, they probably do. P.E.D. It might be P.E.D. Wait, is the soda from meth? Or are you saying like... No, that's their HGH.

Yeah, it's just Fanta. Fanta and Coca-Cola. If you're crushing Diet Cokes, you can cut as much wood. Dude, they're drinking regular sodas. They're drinking weird sodas I've never even seen before. Like an apple one. They always have this glass apple one.

It's like a Mexican soda. It's like a Mexican soda. Oh, like Haritos. Yeah, it's a different Haritos. The green glass? No, it's a clear, it looks like apple juice, but it's like carbonated apple soda. Yeah. They love that, dude.

I've never seen them drink water. Have you ever tried this apple soda? No, it looks really good, though. Yeah. A real sugar artificial. I need to like, yeah. I need to be better about like broadening because i that sounds gross i've tried mexican sodas before and just been like this is wrong

really this isn't a cultural difference you don't like what you're doing is wrong i remember i remember going like going to england once and they had a sports drink that was carbonated like a a Gatorade. Yeah. And I was like, this is off. Come on, man. Yeah. You guys, this is. They're fucking up drinks now.

Yeah. Their food was so bad. Now they've colonized drinks. No, everything they do is wrong. Dude, their food is psychotic. We had this argument about Europe. I was like, man, because I i love it there and i was like uh your girlfriend's ever better i was like oh uh yeah it's great it's the best it's like

every city's like new york or boston but they're kind of better you know and chris was like fucking chill out no it's not and i was like why what's your problem and i thought you'd have some like criticism of like the infrastructure or the culture or something you're like when i go to a restaurant in dublin and i order a water why do they bring over a carbonated water wait that happened you were saying yeah yeah in europe they think water is like perry soda water oh perry they have a lot of mineral water yeah but they love mineral water it's not it's gross and i know it's like yeah it's like you know lie, this facade breaks down somewhere. And they hate ice. Yeah.

Which is crazy. Again. Dude, you'll get like a lukewarm, if you get a Coke, it's a lukewarm can of Coke and an empty glass. Yeah. I'm like, this is crazy. Yeah. And it's a room temperature that's like not room temperature. You know what I mean?

It's like a step above, just barely. It's like, it's a room temperature that's, like, not room temperature. You know what I mean? It's, like, a step above, just barely. It's, like, it's so room temperature. It feels like they've stored it at room temperature for centuries. It's like a wine cellar. It's like we keep it at 72. The molecules in this water have never moved faster or slower. Yeah. They've been perfectly stagnant stagnant coke

yeah it sucks no i agree dude i felt this way when i worked at some craft beer bar in uh east boston and we had a cask that was the first time i saw a cask yeah and the guy that was owned it was like this is like how real beer is supposed to be made in europe they you know they've been doing this for centuries we don't know how to do it right we came up with carbonated cold beer yada yada yada i tasted it i was like this is this tastes like shit it's like i left it in my trunk all day yeah it's a warm beer with no carbonation it's literally if i left a six-pack in the trunk of my chevy cruz it would taste the exact same yeah yeah it feels like there's yeah flat warm beer they're

like this is the way yes i mean that's idiotic and i was getting condescended to about this like i didn't understand beer on some people that kind of shit they're like it's actually the real better way it's like no it's the older way that wasn't as good like that doesn't make it that had to be like it's a traditional way yeah have you seen like the first what the early not i don't know if it's like the first sushi but it's like the one of the earliest forms of sushi pre-refrigeration where they just stack like fish in barrels of salt and then like take it out so it's like the nastiest fart fermented like shit shit fish yeah like yeah this is the oldest traditional way of making sushi no one eats it anymore yeah Yeah. It sucks. Yeah.

You're like, don't condescend to me about your horse and buggy sushi. Yeah. We have refrigeration now. Yeah. That's how I feel about people like trying to tell me that Tootsie Rolls are good or Hershey Kisses. Gross. Both disgusting.

This sucks. Yeah. The candy has gotten so much better. Yeah. You don't need this. Dude, fucking Tootsie Rolls are nasty. I'm convinced nobody likes them. I am not.

I think babies eat them. Yeah. Old people probably. Old people. It's like a very, you know, it's the ends of the age bracket. Yeah, you give a baby maybe the tip of a Hershey kiss

so that it's... I hate Hershey's. Trying chocolate for the first time. Yeah. Hershey's is gross. Those watermelon candies old ladies like kind of roll though.

Watermelon candies? Like a Jolly Rancher? Areer are you about the straw those are strawberries the strawberries the ones that are like kind of chewy and hard strawberries you're a dumb ass dude i can't fucking this guy's such an idiot i can't work out what kind of fruit the hard candy is shaped like dude the other week the other week i was like like, I've become more self-aware since then. He goes, self-aware about yourself? Who the fuck else would I be self-aware about? It made sense in the context. He said self-aware about yourself.

I can't wait until you try this stinky little ass on the Mexicans on the job site. I've been a motherfucker. I've been such a little twerp at work like my my buddies they pick me up in the world of course i want an apple soda yeah i'm thirsty it's hot of course i want a syrupy soda right now that you put in some freaky ass bag summer in texas we've been working the heat all day. I don't want a two liter Sprite.

None of them are fat. They eat nothing but soda and fucking gas station food. Yeah. And they're this big. I'm like, they're just working, bro. God. Working their asses off.

They gotta have diabetes. They might. Maybe they don't get it. They exercise so much that it doesn't matter. They're on their feet like 10 hours every day and they do hard stuff they do actually hard labor you know i don't know i was like why i forget where i was seeing it i think i was watching some i think it was like a pbs documentary about like how like native americans and people like native south South Americans too, can't handle what's going on.

Their bodies... Because we've been raised in the darkness. White people have gradually made themselves more disgusting and broken. I was born eating microplastics. But all this just came and hit them and their bodies have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Because it's just chemicals. They're just storing fat in places. It doesn't make any sense. They have forearm fat. Their knees are blown up. They're bulging like a tree trunk. And it was shocking because it was... It's like a snake that just ate a rat

See the whopper in there Every Ecuadorian looks like Squidward after he ate all the... He had all of these thighs. All right, this episode is brought to you by Omaha Steaks. With Father's Day right around the corner, what do you give the man who has everything? Easy, you give him an experience he'll never forget. You give him Omaha Steaks because a world-class dad deserves a world-class steak. Father's Day experts at Omaha

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Shop for unforgettable gifts that are guaranteed to make Dad's Day. Because if there's one thing Omaha Steaks knows, it's that dads want steak. That's OmahaSteaks.com, promo code STUFFISLAND at checkout to save on exclusive packages starting at just $89. All right, guys, go to OmahaSteaks.com, check it out. They're fantastic. We're going to be doing a look at dish where we shoot uh you know we're going to make some of these steaks and maybe some chicken some of their pork stuff we're going to be making all kinds of omaha stuff for you um so check that out also guys we got dates coming up june 12th we're at tacoma june 15th we're in portland june 16th we're at Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco.

Helium in Portland on the 15th. Tacoma Comedy Club on June 12th. Guys, come check us out. Also, you know, I'm sorry. Sorry I wasn't in Portland, Maine. And I'm sorry I won't be in Albany tonight. You know, got some life stuff going on. Had to be back in Austin, take care of a little kitty cat who's all fucked up.

So, but I will see you in Tacoma, Washington, Portland, Oregon, and San Francisco. God willing. All right. See you later. Enjoy the rest of the show. I heard that from Killers of the Flower Moon. They are all dying of diabetes. Right.

They got money, and they got rich food, and they all just started dying. Yeah. That makes sense. You've seen it, right? Yeah. Have you seen Killers of the Flower Moon? Yeah, yeah. When did they mention the diabetes?

I don't remember, but I remember learning that. Yeah, no, because his lady, his wife. Yeah, she's diabetic. Yeah, she's diabetic. That's right. Yeah, she's diabetic. And like, you know. And that's why he fakes the, yeah.

Poison. Yeah. One way to spoil. That was a movie that should have been like a series. It was too long. It was both too long and not long enough. That's fair. You know what I mean? Like that long and not long enough. That's fair. You know what I mean?

Like, that should have been 10 hours. That's true. That would have been sick. And then, like, because there was just, it feels like the second half of that movie, you're like, what? Okay. It really ramps up.

The feds show up, and then, like, all of a sudden, you're like, there's a court case, but you're, like, zooming through the court case. Yeah. You're like, yeah. I don't know. What's going on yeah it should have been like a six episode hbo miniseries yeah yeah six hours i mean i'd love

that i really like the movie it was like four hours it was in three and a half hours it was crazy yeah i tell you i saw that with uh two black people like he's screaming at the screen i saw screaming about what? First of all They left like 30 minutes in They'd had enough But the first 30 minutes The idea of seeing like A very beautifully done

Artistic film With black people In the theater It's so fun It's like they're still reacting Like it's a horror film There's a black guy behind you During Manchester Bodies

He's like man This motherfucker droopy as hell Pick yourself up by the boot stretch I tried to watch a Woody Allen movie With LaMera once And we almost fought Which one? It was like Game to Blows

Like Stardust Memories We were drunk We were drunk in nashville that's awesome well let's watch this you're gonna like it and he just just sat there rolling a blunt the whole time yeah no way alan's fucking sucks and i was getting so i hate showing people nice things who you like i know they're not gonna appreciate it but i'm like maybe i can like break through you know yeah yeah like I'll be playing music I think is like interesting

and good and my friend will comment and be like she's fucking gay what the fuck is this oh yeah like it's fucking Townsend he's like a fucking genius some country genius who's like weeping into the mic it's the gayest thing I've ever heard yeah I'll automate me with one of those on a plane

I made her watch After Sun with Paul Mescal. It's like this critically acclaimed, very lo-fi, stripped-down indie film about a dad falling into a deep depression, all with his daughter. And it's a really, I got to be honest, even me who loves a good gay indie film, it really doesn't move much. Yeah. And, you know, Autumn's a 40-year-old Latin lady.

And we're on a plane, like, across, we're over the Atlantic Ocean. The movie just ends and she straight up goes, what the fuck was that? She was just, like, genuinely pissed.

She was like, immediately. As soon as the spring went black, she goes, what the fuck? Like, an hour and 40 minutes into this guy like weeping into a bathroom mirror

just holding that in for minute two just a what the fuck is this what the fuck was that yeah she was stewing on it for two hours just like this thing but I saw the killers of the flower moon and uh like there's the scene where she gives him a hat.

You know? Yeah. And the guy in the back goes, oh, he looking fresh! Ooh! Then he went, ooh! He's like trying it on and shit. And then they get stuck. This is right before they left.

They get stuck in the thunderstorm. And it's implied they're going to have sex when they get stuck in the thunderstorm. It's implied they're going to have sex when they get stuck in the house with the rain and they're drinking or whatever. He goes, oh, he finna get some. They just left. He injects his pipe with poison. That ain't right.

I was mad that they were yelling. Then when they left, I was a little bit like, damn, I kind of want to hear a little bit more of this through this three and a half hour movie. I want to know how this guy feels about this movie. Well, it is funny because they're not like wrong. You know what I mean? He is finna get some. He is finna get some.

He's definitely finna get some. That is like, it's funny because you sit down in a movie like that ready for it to just like decimate you. Yeah. I'm fully here to get like just. A big wave of emotion. Obliterated by emotion. Yeah. And someone's just like, dang.

You know what I mean? Like the hat, which is supposed to be this gesture, probably plays like a, is like a theme throughout the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, damn, that's like really like great filmmaking like fucking sick hat yeah i guess that really is all this is yeah you realize how corny you are for like searching for metaphors you're like no the hat's sick and you're like fuck you're right that's a cool hat you're right it's so funny you got used to it like missed them yeah yeah it was like 30 minutes in i saw him leave and i was like oh damn but you know the gross part was they were like loudly making out which was pretty gross

like the two people you went with or they were just in the theater no i know i thought you went i don't know these people no i've never heard of these fuckers they're in the back like i was in like second row like third row down and then two behind me. They were just chirping at the screen and very loudly making out. Because it was like an 11 o'clock showing on like a Wednesday in Union Square. I'm like,

yeah, I'm going to go to this. I don't have a fucking job. You know, I can go to this. There's not going to be anyone there. It's going to be great. Yeah, that guy went in there with a plan. He chose the most boring movie. I think, yeah, that's probably a good plan. He made fun of it.

And then was like, let's leave and fuck. Yeah, that's a good move, honestly. That is smart. That's kind of brilliant. There's like four hours. There's no way we're going to make it. Yeah, that's probably like, it's kind of like the opposite of a scary movie.

You know, she doesn't hold you because it's scary or, you know, it's not only 90 minutes of like stabbing and then it's over she sucks your dick because she's bored she yeah yeah she's like oh jesus christ i first got my dick sucked at kung fu panda what yeah dude you gross how what do you mean did you go there knowing that that would happen? Now we watch it in my room. That's a lot different. I thought you saw Kung Fu Pin in theaters. No.

Kung Fu Pin came out in 2008. I was like, that is reckless. I got jacked off to Ice Age 3 once. In the theaters. Nice. Yeah. I almost lost my virginity with Frozen on in the background. It feels Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. And I almost lost my virginity with Frozen

on in the background. It just feels like I'm a pedophile. Chick's like, get out of my life. Really bailed Luke out of this one. Yeah, that is a great time.

I'm with you, dude. You want to put on like a lighthearted, fucking, you know, funny little thing that you don't really have to pay. You did bail me out. I bailed you out, dude. I got jacked off by stage three. Every time I fuck, I got to put on like a lighthearted, you know, funny little thing. I can only come. You did bail me.

I bailed you. I got jacked off. I totally did. Every time I fuck, I got to put on Mr. Magorium. Just got to be rolling. The Animaniacs come on, you get hard. That's like one of those things that I remember like not wanting to do because I felt like it was like cliche, like making out in a movie theater. Yeah, I agree. I remember going to a movie theater when I was 13

with my high school girlfriend and her being like, let's make out. Like a hack? That's what everybody does. We're just going to be the kids making out in the back of the movie theater? That's pathetic. Everyone's going to look down on us.

What's next? You want to ding-dong ditch? Yeah, yeah. Drive out to lookout point. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? Trying to be original. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to get any respect for yourself. I want to get original pussy.

That's so funny. I can't really I haven't done that because I got no pussy in high school what? made out at a movie yeah never

that's a high school move I never did that that's true yeah except for that black couple behind you except for that black couple they were in high school except for

Mystery Science Theater 300 yeah it was yeah I was in college They were in high school. Except for Mystery Science Theater 300. Yeah, it was... Yeah, I was in college when I got jacked off to Ice Age 3. At the theater? At the theater, yeah. Nice. Yeah, there was no one in there. That almost feels like nostalgic.

Yeah. What do you mean? Like you were doing it because you missed out on a moment. Yeah, that's like an old jazzy song. What do you mean? Like you were doing it because you missed out on a moment. That's like an old jazzy song. That's like a Bruce Springsteen song. I was getting jacked off to ass history. Playing stage play. Stuck in this deadbeat town

getting jacked off to Ice Age 3 getting jacked off from the movies last night to Ice Age 3 running against the wind yeah that was that was wind yeah that was that was fun though

that was a good time I don't regret it I didn't ejaculate because I thought we should probably not do that sounds like a mess cumming is insane

yeah you can't do that cum in that scenario yeah it's like you can't cum so what's the point of any of it

it feels like the ink bag exploding when you're robbing a bank yeah yeah it's very delicate we did it you're jerking me off we're in a theater it's over yeah that's crazy enough we get to have the experience let's not make a mess no yeah like when the lights come on and i have to walk out that there's evidence that we did this yeah i thought that way about kill myself if i had just a fucking splooge stain like walking out of a movie theater i'd be mortified embarrassed i know and go why the fuck did i ever do that i hate myself i'm gross yeah yeah and then you had you have a few

whiskeys and you'd be like i should have just had jizz on my pants and told everyone to fuck off yeah i should have told her to stop kicking me off i just don't stand up for myself yeah you never why did you be so afraid of what people think you know you can't concern yourself with that kind of stuff man dude I almost want to experience this like

I've gotten angry drunk with the whiskey talking back yeah I got angry drunk once but I was actually I was drinking like fireball

out of a I don't think that counts in college I was just drinking a handle of fireball and I passed out on a camping trip

and all my friends were tripping on mushrooms but i wanted to get fucked up i just wanted to get shit-faced and i fell asleep i started drinking at like noon i fell asleep at 9 p.m and they're like i've got a head full of mushrooms all night yeah and i fell asleep in the camp and they're like talking outside or in the tent and they're like talking around the fire near me and i just i blacked out i don't remember this but I was like shut the fuck up just screaming at them yeah and then I broke the tent well because you went in there with that

you know that energy yeah it was to ruin their trip dude definitely they're like they definitely were like you were so mean to us I'm sorry I didn't well what did I do I didn't remember a resentful blackout like that yeah like I'm gonna get blacked out because I'm mad. What did I do? I didn't remember. A resentful blackout like that? Yeah.

Where you're like, I'm going to get blacked out because I'm mad you're doing mushrooms. I just thought it was like, I think part of me was like, that's kind of lame. We should all get fucked up. Yeah. We shouldn't be like, we should be fucking like. So I'm going to do it by myself. I'll show you the way. Oh, you want to explore yourself? I'm in a collapsed tent being like, shut the the way. Oh, you want to

explore yourself? It's just in a collapsed tent being like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, literally, dude. I slam through the zipper. There's a similarity here because doing mushrooms

on a camping trip is just as hacky as making out in the movies. It's true. It's really on the same level of hackiness. One of the most embarrassing memories I have,

I was on like a head full of acid tripping with this big group of people from my college and uh i was on all this acid and these three really cute girls came into our tent and we're like we want to play dark side of the moon and like we're all on acid like we should play dark side of the moon i was like oh you really yeah you want to i said you want to listen to dark side of the moon on acid yeah that's what you want to listen to dark side of the moon on acid that's what you want to do dude i gave them so much shit and like um you know we're all like nerds all my friends and they look at me like what are you doing yes the three hottest girls at this camping trip want to

hang out with us and listen to music and you are shitting on them oh dude instantly dude you have so many stories of condescending your way out of pussy. I know. He's condescending his way out of so much pussy, dude. I feel like I've done the same thing. Yeah, I have so many bad ones. Can you drive me home? You're like, right now?

You know what you're talking about? You're an idiot. Yeah, this party's awesome. Oh my God, I wanted to hook up with you Now you're a loser Dude I get really mad When I get tickled Like I get in

Like Yeah A crazy rage And this girl I was like dating Who was like We were fooling around Tickling your whiskey Yeah dude

Tickling my whiskey dude Dude a hundred percent I get so pissed off I'm just gonna get Fucking tickled right now Dude So I'm fooling around pissed off. I'm just going to get fucking tickled right now. I'm fooling around with this girl. I'm like a virgin. This is basically some of the furthest I've ever gone with a lady. I'm like, oh my God.

And then she's like, I'm going to tickle you. And I go, get the fuck off of me. And then I tried to And then I tried to like Go back in And she's like Get off of me Yeah

I just screamed at her No no I hate that Fucking stop Yeah Anyways And where were we And then I just fucking like Just fucking

Like Charlie Brown walked up to me and I'm like, okay. Bye. Yeah, that was brutal. I remember that so vividly. Go get the fuck off of me. Now where were we? That's amazing

I remember one of my buddies had gotten laid before me and he came quickly and the girl was she really sucked and she told everybody to kind of roast his ass just diabolical and then the girl who gave me my first blowjob during Kung Fu Panda I also came instantaneously

and we were just kind of sitting there awkwardly and I was like you can't tell anybody about this. I just really don't want anybody to know. And because like in my head, I was like, I was like, I'm the next fucking headline. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Mr. Come fast.

I'm taking the crown from him. Yeah. He's now I'm Mr. Come fast. Dude, it is so funny how when you're young and you're coming fast, you really think you're like, I just don't have the like mental fortitude. Like I'm undisciplined. Yeah. Like you feel like, I don't know, like you should be like some type of shaman or something. Like, yeah.

Yeah. You have to like, yeah. You have to like zen your way out of coming. Everything's working great. Yeah. Just wait a couple minutes. Yeah. minutes I don't know I've never had this problem I remember coming fast and being so distraught about it I tried to do research and I ended up on a video of Sting from the police

talking about how he does tantric sex and I was literally like Sting's got the answers Sting's gonna teach me how to laugh Sting knows dude I was looking at Sting from the police as a cum shaman and he probably had answers

but it's a deal with the devil because then you become Sting then you have to be like a 16 year old fat buffalo teenager me and Sting have zero things in common whatever he can do physically I was unable to do thank you man

but imagine if you really committed to that okay dude imagine if you really committed to that and you became the guy who's like hold on let's just sit close to one another for 45 minutes sounds horrible yeah yeah you'd be when you're younger that would rule to just last forever and then when you get older you're like what am i i going to be tantric sex guy. No fucking way. Using like oils that like fucking oils that tingly oils. That makes me that grosses me out.

Just the idea that I once went to a neighbor's house. Rubbing oil on a woman that's disgusting. That is gross. Another version of you talking yourself that is gross another version of you talking yourself out of sex yeah she's like rub oil all over me i'm like dude ew the very idea of that and it's so like i look back on all these things i said i'm like i didn't i hate that i it's not like i planned them and i'm like you know what i'm gonna hate that. It's not like I planned them and I'm like, you know what? I'm going to stick up for myself or something like that.

It was just like, no. You just have no tact. I'm completely tactless. We found out he's tactless. I'm totally tactless. He's not great with tact. That's what makes me think I'm like, you know. You're not the most tactful guy.

I tell you, I called my girlfriend once because I was talking about a friend of mine who was very charming. And I called my girlfriend. I said, do you think I of mine who was very charming. And I called my girlfriend. I said, do you think I'm charming? And she went, no. Like, no thought. No, you're not. Not even.

And then she tried to backpedal. You charmed me. You charmed me. You charmed me. But you're not charming. This is one of my favorites. I love this story. It's totally tagless, yeah.

You're not charming at if not not even remotely no but one time when I was a kid I went to a friend of mine's neighbor's house because he was friends

with his neighbor so I'm meeting all these people and they were like woo woo like chiropractors who were like just freaky

like they were like part time nudists like they had one day of a week where their whole family was naked in the house. They had like naked Mondays. It was crazy. And then I saw they had this big bowl of like goop.

They had this bowl of goop in like the middle of their like a fourier or whatever. Yeah. And I was like, what is the goop? And they're like, that's, that's organic lube.

We, that's our side business. We sell organic lube. So's our side business we sell organic lube so they just had it in like a vat in like a bowl these are predators yeah it's freaky as hell and they had a bowl of condoms too and then i go why do you have condoms because i'm thinking this is like a married couple in their 40s with like you know 10 12 year old kids like why do you have a bowl of dude yeah condoms there This is like exactly what people down here think liberals do

with their kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I bet they're all naked and they got big fats a little bit. But they were totally un-vacs. Fully un-vacs. Oh, they're old school.

I remember I wanted to hang out with them again and they go, they can't, they have the mumps. Every kid that I know with openly sexual parents, fucked.

Yeah. You can't do that. Even if they're in a healthy marriage that's lasted, it's worse than divorce. I think. It's a together couple that's open about how much they're having sex. I was like 13. This kid was

like 11 and I'm hanging out. I see the condoms. I go, what's with the condoms? Why does your married father with two kids have condoms. I go, what's with the condoms? You know, like, why does your married father with two kids have condoms in his house? He's like, well, dad had a vasectomy, but sometimes he likes the way condoms feel. I'm like, dude, the fact you know that is crazy. Yes, yes.

Why the fuck do you know that? Right, right. The fact that those condoms aren't in a, like, cut out piece of drywall that should be in a safe locked away. Yeah, the fact that his sock drawer doesn't have a like cut out piece of drywall that's in the yeah it should be in a safe locked away yeah the fact that his sock drawer doesn't have a false bottom

and instead they're just in the middle of the kitchen and you're like yeah dad likes condoms also insane yeah to just be like

I missed the feeling on top of yeah I'm like why are they in the why can I see them yeah that has a very tragic story

behind it yeah on Max too it. It was weird. Yeah. Super weird. They're just fucking hippies. They're like hippies. Hippies don't like the bats. No, they're like full horseshoes around. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Where it's like the government's putting fucking bugs in that. It's like a fringe opinion. He's talking about his wife's vagina. That's why I don't... Dad doesn't eat pussy because of the bugs. Yeah, mom's pussy has GMOs in it. My wife's been taken over by the government.

She has Monsanto pussy. But I still have Monsanto. It's subsidized by the big monsanto lobbyists now you're so right about the uh the overly sexual parents you can't do that dude i always wonder if i'm repressed or normal or what level of you know because it's just some spectrum of i don't think you're oppressed you're nicely catholic yeah we've talked about this guilty or you know we've talked about this like the guys that talk like when you meet a guy who talks about sex in detail, it's disgusting.

It's gross. I hate it. I'm like, you didn't have friends growing up that told you this is lame? Or just gross. It's gross. I've talked about it on this podcast before. It's different when you're being funny.

There's a time and a place. Yes. There are conversations you get into twice a year with a good friend where you talk about sex in detail. But like the guys who are like every time they talk about it's yeah and I was fucking her from behind. I'm like dude relax. Stop. We're hanging out.

Don't ruin it. You're supposed to be ashamed of it. Yes. It's a great Norm joke. No I haven't heard it. He're supposed to be ashamed of it. Yes! That's a great Norm joke. No, I haven't heard it. People say sex isn't a shameful act. What do you do when you have sex? You lock the door, you close the blinds. You don't want anyone to see it.

That's fucking shame. What the hell is that? It's shame. You don't want anyone to know about it. You're supposed to be thinking about other things. What? Like just in life. Like sex shouldn't be on your mind all the time? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is. It can't be stopped. Yeah. Yes. It's too powerful of a thing. Right. But you're not supposed to be. That's why you should feel shame when you're thinking about it.

Yeah, you should have the feeling of like, what am I, 13 years old? Yeah. You think about sex all day? Right, right, right. Or just find out about it. You should have the feeling of, what am I, 13 years old? Do you think about sex all day? Or just find out about it? I thought I moved past this. I can think about anything. My sex drive has definitely gone, obviously since being a teenager and now, but it's more dramatic than I thought it would be.

Going down? How less horny I am. I thought it would be a steady decline. But I was like, no, it's peak horn horniness and then i'm just kind of like floating if that was a 10 i'm just at a six now mine's kind of coasting still pretty strong it's just like crisis makes it go away immediately or just anxiety you're like yeah yeah of course yeah yeah that's a good point like it literally is a thing where it's like if I don't feel bad about stand-up and stuff, like if I don't feel like I'm just like...

Distracted and... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I can't... I'm dying. I can't have sex. Things are going horrible right now. What are you talking about? Yeah, that's kind of the inconvenient truth, though, is that once you can finally get pussy,

you really think about it... Very little. Not as much. Yeah. Yeah. The times I thought about pussy the most is when I had no skills to acquire it. Right. That's a good point, too.

Yeah. Yeah. And then once you're like, oh, now I can have it. Sometimes you keep on tiring. Yeah. Yeah. I'm kind of like. Yeah.

I've been feeling down today. Say no to a lady. Like, I never imagined that would ever happen to me. Yeah. My girlfriend wants to. I don't. Yeah. I never thought that would ever happen to my entire life. to I don't I never thought that would ever happen to my entire life Yeah it's like the best when you don't deserve it

What do you mean It's just sex in general Oh yeah yeah that's great You're like I can't believe this is happening to me Yeah Yeah that's like hungover sex is fun for that reason Cause you're like I'm such a piece of shit I feel horrible

I'm doing nothing today Just wasting a day Look yeah just wasting a day yeah yeah look at me wasting a day it's kind of hot to waste a day oh yeah i love that that is the dream that don't do anything you don't feel well you just watch tv all day and you get pussy and you're like dude i'm the greatest i'm the man i'm so awesome awesome. I'm unstoppable, dude. You move wrong and your stomach hurts. It's like, oh, shit. Fuck.

I had wings at 2 a.m. I've been having days. It's so hot here. These are my first days where I don't go outside an entire day and I wasn't hungover at all. I feel perfectly able-bodied and clear-minded. And I'm deciding not to go anywhere. Yet I still didn't go to the outdoors once today.

Yeah. Because it's like 99. Yeah. I haven't been outside today yet. That's a unique feeling. Oh, no, that's not true. I went outside when it was cloudy. It wasn't too bad, like in the morning.

Today was all right. I'm already getting my homeostasis is kind of resetting a little bit where I'm like, oh, nice. It's 88 today. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not too warm. It's not too hot. Yeah. Yeah.

The mornings are like 85 and I'm like, oh, it's cool out. Oh, dude, I was in Boston. It was like 75, 80 and sunny. And like that cool like New England. It's gorgeous. Like where the wind is coming through. Like it's like if you're in the shade, it's like perfectly cool like new england it's gorgeous like where the wind is coming through like it's like if you're in the shade it's like perfectly cool yeah the sun is so hot it was like perfect

that's so nice and then but even still i came back here and i was like 97 i was like nice yeah yeah yeah i'm okay you get expecting 105 has it gotten that hot uh will it get that hot oh yeah no it's gonna get that hot yeah yeah they. No, it's going to get that hot. Yeah. The locals. It's not peaking right now? No, dude. July, August.

Oh, Christ. We're like dipping the toes in. Lord in heaven. I thought it was just going to be like this for like three months. No, we're going to be triple digits for like 40 days. What the hell? I think so, yeah. Everybody exaggerates.

We're 150 days over 100. I'm like like that's impossible but i think it is like a month at least wow it's like 100 degrees or more every day for last year was 90 straight days oh yeah 90 93 months dude so oh no it's gonna be something else yeah i was working it's a thick heat right now but apparently that burns off like the moisture yeah okay that's good like i think i think for the front end of it it's like a wet heat that doesn't go away like at night it's still like 99 and it's more humid at night yeah yeah at night the humidity goes the other night i was walking around downtown yeah it gets muggy at night man i was sweating and i checked my the weather app

it was like 91% humidity Crazy dude How is it not raining How is it physically possible It's not raining It would just condense Onto the ground I was working in a place without air conditioning It was horrific

Horrible It was crazy dude You gotta call's horrible. That's like, yeah. It was crazy, dude. You got to call whatever. I don't know. I got to call Tony and call out. Can't come in today. I'm like so busy. It's too hot.

It's just like hot. Do you have like people putting like cold towels around your neck? No, but a guy brought one of those. Like an icebox full of just cold towels? There's a big ice chest full of ice and water. Like you would die. You know, you'd fucking die. Yeah. If you didn't fucking i don't know the mexicans handle it fine dude i saw one of them asleep because we do like apartments that aren't finished yet yeah and like uh i just

opened a door i'm like about to install blinds and there's one just passed out on his back like this flat on his back on a concrete like unfinished floor on his back like this with a big like with a giant 20 ounce like soda next to him he overdosed and he wakes up he goes goes, I'm sorry. You're okay, buddy. You can sleep. Oh, dude.

He just went right back to sleep. I've said this a lot. I think that's how I learned to sleep on my back is just like sleeping on people's couches. Yeah. Like if you can sleep on your back, like you can, when you, it's like less offensive. Yeah, I get it. You know, if someone comes into the room, you can be like, oh, hey, sorry. I just like dozed off. Even though you're in like full REM sleep.

Yeah, even though he was out, dude. Whereas if you're like fully like. Yeah, yeah. If you're really like. You're on the fetal. Someone walks in, they're like, all right, it's time for them to go. Yeah. You're hugging a body.

They're really holding the couch. They're way too long. Chris, Chris, you got to get up. Yeah, it's become the womb for you. You're just like. You're spooning my couch., you've got to get up. It's become the womb for you. You're just like, no. You're spooning my couch. You've got to get up. You're taking the back pillows off.

Hugging it, dude. The huggy pillow. I sleep on my stomach. It's got to stop. That's crazy. Your neck has to be a mess. It's my lower back. It's brutal. It's been hurting every day.

Also, it sucks. I looked up. I've been having really bad lower back pain for a month, maybe more. And I looked up what's the cause of it. And most of the answers were, yeah, you're just not active enough. You're not moving around enough. You're kind of inactive. And I was already feeling fat.

I literally like WebMD was like, I mean, you're kind of inactive and i was already feeling fat literally like web md was like i mean you're doing nothing oh yeah it's probably from being a walk around hey tubby you won't have a back at all much longer you keep it up dude i remember seeing advertising i went to new orleans to visit my brother he was in law school and i was visiting him in new orleans and i saw an ad there for and i couldn't it. It was literally, it was just like a public service announcement that was just like, Hey, get up and move. Like it wasn't like promoting exercise. It was just like, Hey, like stand up and fake swing a golf club. It was like, and I had, it was just, I had a guy in an office just get up

and be like and then like sit back down and they were like that was the level they were at in New Orleans that was the

WHO's PSA in New Orleans Louisiana is a different level of fat yeah oh yeah

to do anything New Orleans airport it's crazy oh yeah this is some big big people there yeah yeah kansas city was pretty bad too i can believe that ohio was some of the biggest ohio i feel like the midwest and like the south is like just brutal but i yeah i feel like they're getting into the fields and doing some labor there too right yeah but not yeah but who's doing that you know yeah just riding a tractor yeah exactly sitting down yeah they're just sitting down on lazy ass farmers dude i i still every time i'm driving and i'm tired and i see like a fucking truck that i

know has a bed in the back i'm'm like, damn, I wish I could. What it would be like to drive a truck with just an apartment just right behind you. Yeah. You like that? I'd love it. Really? Yeah.

I'd lose my mind in about two days. Truck driving? Yeah, it'd be brutal. I think I would like it. Semi? Yeah. I think I would like it. Yeah?

I mean, I'd probably be not so on time with all my deliveries, but I would like it because just pull i mean i wouldn't i'd probably be not so on time with all my deliveries but i would like because i'd be sleeping in the back a lot i'd only be doing it for the room how cozy it would be that's the part of the fantasy to use the coziness of the back yeah yeah yeah it feels like a tree house or like a yeah yeah i actually do like your own like when you build a fort in your parents yep like living room there was a closet i think i'd be a dog shit truck driver i don't think i got that in me no you'd just be yapping on the cb all day excuse me yeah yeah dude yapping on the cb i can't no i can't be i would certainly be how's everybody doing out there yeah that's what i would be doing like luke this is for business calls only please do not roads are nice today

that's exactly what i'm saying dude i couldn't just sit there alone with no words yeah there's a lot it's a fucking piece if you guys want to check that out. I'd just be crushing audiobooks. Oh yeah, that'd be nice. Just listening. I think they don't let you listen to music or something. What?

Maybe I'm wrong about that. No, they have to let you listen to music. That's ridiculous. I thought they only made you, you could only listen to like. Big radio would like come after. Talk radio. Yeah, yeah. That's a good point. There's radio. I heard something. They're not allowed to listen to... Big radio would come after you. Talk radio. Yeah, yeah. That's a good point.

There's radio. I heard something. They're not allowed to listen to something. It might be they're not allowed to put a show on or something. You know, something crazy. Like watch TV. Yeah, you can't watch TV. You can't have a screen of any kind.

It'd just be so funny. Every truck driver's got those Apple Vision phones. Yeah, it's just a translucent office over over the road making your way across tennessee he's like i'm actually in atlantis right now pretty nice pretty good Pretty good He's just in a VR He's just putting silly VR over it At a table with family and friends

Yeah He's just playing poker Yeah Dude, you ever see that cow with the VR? That made me really That's dystopian and sad. They put a VR headset on a cow? Yeah.

That's fucked up, dude. And measured its stress hormones. It's in a warehouse in pitch darkness, and then put a meadow VR in it. The cow completely bought it. Really? Yeah, it became... Notice the lower cortisol, higher you know serotonin

like that's like a happier the matrix it's a hundred i guess probably good right but it's you know you see the through line there where we end up that pisses me off though yeah don't don't put your escapism and nihilism on the cows the cow the cow likes this world enough well no it had a miserable life in a factory farm. Oh, they took a factory? It was like they put it in a bad environment that made the cow unhappy.

They probably took it out of a nice one. I don't know where the cow's from. Let the cow go to a real field and he'll like the field fine. Yeah, 100%. But it's just as good.

It works just as well for him to think there are other cows around him to think that he's in a meadow. It does feel like eventually you'll get plugged into the Matrix. Yeah. And then people not in the Matrix will feel like they're in a hippie commune kind of thing. You'd be like, all right, dude, I get it. You're off the grid.

Yeah. But all the money's in here. Yeah. One of the guys from OpenAI who's in charge of security and safety, he left the company and he has a severance package, which comes with a bunch of vested equity in the company. And part of his deal, when you leave the company, they make all the employees sign a non-disparagement clause.

So you can't say anything bad about them after you leave the company. And he was like, no, what you're doing is fucked up. It's going to like ruin the world. And he was like, I don't even want the stocks. And it was like $1.7 million of equity,

which in 20 years is going to make $30 million. And he was like, nah, it's too fucked up. Like I have to say something about it. Yeah. That's really bad. Yeah.

It's going to, it's going to get spooky, dude. Yeah. I don't like it. Yeah. It makes me scared. Yeah. I don't like something about it yeah that's really bad yeah it's gonna it's gonna get spooky dude yeah i don't like it yeah it makes me scared yeah i don't like thinking about it but yeah when that when agi when they finish that what is agi agi is when ai can not only teach itself things it can teach itself things and decide new things that it wants to learn basically it's not human programmed it's adaptable yeah so you program it not to learn like ai is programmed to learn a set of information that ai companies give them so that's why all these ai companies like open air are getting sued by the new york

times and stuff because a open ai is feeding the chat bot you know read a million new york times articles and then that's how the chat bot learns to talk and give answers and know what things are. But this AGI will know, oh, I want to learn things. I'm going to go find the New York Times without you putting it in there. That makes sense. And more than that, it'll be like researching topics on its own.

Sort of independently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't told to... Instead of being fed a bunch of resource material and, like, having an opinion based on that, it'll have its own, like... Yeah.

Free will to choose one. But I think that they said that it's, like, a pretty big leap to make. But... They think that... There was a guy in this article I was reading

that says 2027, he thinks that we could be... It could be fully developed, at least in, like, a prototypical stage. Jesus. And it's got free will to decide what it

wants to learn yeah it's gonna be fucked yeah i was reading this i was like why why who wants this yeah why well you know there's like those accelerationists and like you know i'm talking about where they're just like yeah fuck it just like just develop things as much as humanly possible and then whatever consequences come up is worth it because of the advance of technology like they just generally believe that progress is always going to be good which is pretty stupid yeah that's retarded yeah it's like we will you know have access to the technology and then we can decide if it's good or bad kind of thing it's just like it's like it's it's the thinking about if we that we could more than we if we should type of it's good or bad kind of thing. It's just like, it's the thinking about that we could more than if we should type of thing.

It's also like, what's the end? The ultimate end goal would have to just be to extend life. But it's like 70 years that ends in 1998 is definitely going to be better than 110 years that ends in 2060. Like those extra decades of dystopian life, it's not better because it's more there's yeah yeah exactly quality of quantity of life rather than quality of life yeah i don't know what if it is

like it just is good you know it can be good i mean they're yeah we talked about there's just no like you don't feel good about anything because you like there's just too much it's really like brave new world shit like where you you're like, yeah, like why, like if you could feed into a thing, like, I don't know, I was talking to this

about with Tommy where it's like, it'd be sick if you can get like, watching sports, you could just have old commentators, the commentators that you like

just announce current games. Oh yeah, they definitely, yeah. That would be sick. You know what I mean? It's gonna be a,

yeah, it's gonna be a bunch of shit like that. Bring John Madden back to the grid. Yeah, yeah, they definitely, yeah. That would be sick. You know what I mean? It's going to be a bunch of shit like that. Bring John Madden back to the grave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lovely. If I get 110 years of Madden, that's a different story. If one of your Bob Costas do badminton, fuck it, you know? Yeah, it's just like, just have that.

And it's like, you know, it's like instead of being like, oh, did you see so-and-so's new special? It's just like, no, I just asked them to make one with that guy for me. Yeah, but that sucks. I know, but what if it was really good? It will be. The thing is, like, it will be really good. Make me a Greg Giraldo special.

Yeah, that'll be awesome. I mean, they did it with Carlin. They did, like, a bad one with Carlin. They did a shitty AI Carlin special. Yeah, there's, like, an AI Carlin special, yeah. I didn't listen to it, but. yeah yeah i didn't listen to it but yeah no it's really bad it's gonna i feel like it'll maybe be like things will be labeled it'll be sort of like organic versus gmo type thing there it's just like oh this is labeled like a

real human made it you know yeah authentic and more expensive and and you're like well isn't this the way things are supposed to be and you're like yeah but you know it's really cheap to do it this way yeah and you're like oh fuck you'd have to have like a you're like, yeah, but, you know, it's really cheap to do it this way. Yeah. And you're like, oh, fuck. You'd have to have, like, a big cultural shift. Yeah, I just... It just feels like the culture will not be able to adjust to the technology very quickly. Dude, China's falling behind in the AI race

because they want the AI chatbots that are developing. Because they are AI. Yeah. Well, that was the thing with the automated... They don't are AGI. Yeah. Well, that was the thing with the automated. They don't have AGI. It's just communist. Do you know the Amazon shop

was just Indian guys watching it? Dude, this. Yeah. So funny. What? Do you remember like the automatic checkout

Amazon thing? Yeah. Where you could just put things in a bag you never had to like. It was literally like outsourced indian people watching people shop and like dictating what they got it was not automated right right right it was just like you know exported work that's crazy isn't

that insane that's terrifying yeah it was way worse than a robot doing it dude i that that almost reminds me not to disparage indians yeah yeah there's like a team of people i assume a massive team that like cleans up youtube like watches all the stuff that gets posted that shouldn't be posted on there yeah and that it's like they get like fucking ptsd from i can't imagine yeah yeah they're just having to watch like a beheading and you're like good lord I mean I think like way worse than that yeah yeah oh

way worse like really shitty crowd work yeah yeah yeah someone asked me would you rather watch an ISIS beheading clip just a guy alone

or a bad commentary crowd I'm like I will always watch ISIS beheading 100% every single time it guy alone in a room. Or a bad commentary crowd. I'm like, I will always watch ISIS beheading. Oh, 100%. Every single time. It's not even a question. Some dude that works

for YouTube, just alone in his room with the blinds, just closed. He's like, where am I from? I don't know. Who am I dating?

When did we really meet? Y'all fucking met. Just going like, how could all these people not know? Is anybody from anywhere? You mean, when did I meet you? I don't know. I could have met you.

I could have met you. It's your wife. You don't know when you met her. The worst one is like the man and woman Have different times For when they started dating How many times Have you seen that Oh yeah yeah And she's like

Oh you've been dating Six months You ask her You've been dating Three years It's good stuff Good lord in heaven Yeah I'm gonna start

Doing heavy crowd work Alright guys That's episode one Hell yeah You stick around For the page Yeah I'll do it heavy crowd work alright guys that's episode one hell yeah you stick around for the page yeah I'll do it let's do it

alright