Stuff You Should Know - Short Stuff: Obituaries
Episode Date: December 18, 2019Learn everything we know about obituaries in 12 minutes! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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On the podcast, Hey Dude, the 90s called,
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Listen to Hey Dude, the 90s called
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Hey there, and welcome to short stuff.
This is Josh, there's Chuck, there's Jerry.
We're gonna talk about death.
It's a natural super hip thing to do.
And there's Dave Ruse in a bottle
with a cork on top screaming, let me out.
Right?
That was weird, but I loved it.
Yeah, Dave helps us out with the longer form stuff,
but this is one of the old, I don't know how old,
but one of the old house stuff works shorties
that he put together.
Yeah, I don't think it was old.
I think it was new.
Is it new?
One of the new houses.
I just mean the old website.
Oh, gotcha.
Like E old.
You gotta say it like that.
With an E.
Was it old with an E?
Yeah, sure.
E oldy.
We sure wasted a lot of time.
Good.
So Chuck, we're talking obituaries.
Like I said.
That's right, do you read these?
Probably not, cause you're under 80.
No, yeah, no, but people do love them.
Yeah, it's interesting.
I read that on, oh, I think beyond the dash
is what it was called, which is great.
Cause you know the dash between the date of birth
and the date of death, there's a dash between them.
There's a website, an obituary website
called beyond the dash.
And they said, an obituary is like your final gift
to a loved one.
You're celebrating their life for all to see and read
or if you're one of those weirdos who reads obituaries
for those people to read and see.
Yeah.
I think it's long been like elderly people read obituaries.
The joke is sort of that, you know,
because they're not in them.
Man, when ageism becomes a real thing in like 10 years,
this episode is not going to have aged well.
It's already a thing.
A real thing.
Oh, okay.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But they have always, well,
they've changed a lot over the years,
which is sort of interesting in this,
one of the, I mean,
we're going to plug the genealogy website.
No.
Okay.
There's a genealogy website though
that has, apparently you can learn a lot about
your genealogy just from researching obituaries
because they list so many people in the family.
It's like a family tree there.
Yeah.
So, and then even obituary websites and genealogy websites,
they've unleashed AI on these things.
And the bots have really had a field day
coming up with obits dating back as far as I can see
to the 1750s, at least in the United States.
Yeah.
This one genealogy website has 262 million
published obituaries online.
Yeah.
See if you can figure out which one it is.
Yeah.
I guess so.
But so the bots have kind of, they've said, okay,
well, from what we've been able to ascertain,
at least from digitized newspaper records,
going back to the mid 18th century,
obits weren't a very big thing.
Unless you were famous.
Yeah.
That's a really good point.
Yeah.
The deaths of famous, well-known, successful people
have always intrigued us.
Yeah.
And I don't think you might have told me
that obituaries were pre-written for a lot of people.
Yeah.
Like the New York Times obits, like the real deal ones.
Yeah.
I think you told me that a couple of years ago
or something and I was just astonished.
I definitely knew that.
Yeah.
It sounds like something I would tell you.
Probably.
And it's not made up.
Over our afternoon tea.
Right.
But they'll just have like an obit going on somebody
and then when they finally die,
they can get it out the door really quick
just by kind of summing up at the end.
Just fill in that last be on the dash.
Yep.
And maybe if they did anything noteworthy
and the last like eight months of their life.
Right.
So they didn't?
What I wonder is do they,
is it just for old people or people that they think like
are risky?
Oh, I wonder.
You know?
We'll have to ask Jeremy Piven.
I don't get that right.
He played an obituary writer in one.
Really?
Some movie.
Yeah.
Was he an obituary writer who was a big jerk?
Probably.
Because he got specializes in those roles.
He does.
He does.
Interesting.
So mid 19th century, you started seeing this change
from just famous types to regular old people
getting their local paper usually
to publish sort of stripped down obituaries.
Yeah, it was called a death notice.
Or it's basically.
Like super stripped down.
Yeah, this person died and that's that.
There's still death notices around today
and apparently if you're into obituaries so much
that you will publish a death notice.
What you're saying is it's basically like a hold the date
for more information about the funeral.
Right.
They still do those today.
But that was what obituaries were originally.
It was just, you know, the person's name,
they died, maybe who they were survived
by maybe a little bit about the funeral.
But the reason obits were so thin originally
was because back in the day before the lino type
was invented and I think the 1880s,
when you put a newspaper together,
every page, every letter.
Every letter.
Of every word, of every sentence,
of every line, of every page.
Of every graph to use some lingo.
Thank you.
Was set by hand.
Yeah.
By hand.
Yeah.
Every letter.
So that's why certain obituaries
just had a name and died.
Right, exactly.
With a date maybe.
And you felt lucky to have even been mentioned.
Probably so.
Yeah, but then lino type came along
and they said, hey, we've got a lot.
It's a lot easier to make a newspaper now.
Let's make more newspaper every day.
Yeah, so maybe we'll take a quick break.
Oh boy.
And we'll come back and talk a little bit more
about obituaries.
On the podcast, Hey Dude, the 90s called
David Lasher and Christine Taylor,
stars of the cult classic show, Hey Dude,
bring you back to the days of slip dresses
and choker necklaces.
We're gonna use Hey Dude as our jumping off point,
but we are going to unpack and dive back
into the decade of the 90s.
We lived it, and now we're calling on all of our friends
to come back and relive it.
It's a podcast packed with interviews,
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Hey, Chuck, let's talk a little bit more about obituaries.
Yeah, I mean, certain things like the Civil War,
obviously, would ramp up the death notices,
like tens of thousands of these going out every year.
Yeah, and this was even before the linotype, too.
Right, I think because they were soldiers,
they felt like they needed to do so,
even though it was a pain.
Plus, also, there seems to have been a real increase
in fascination with death among the Victorians.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I mean, that's when they were taking
bereavement photography.
Oh, that's true.
They were holding funerals at home,
but they became much more elaborate over time.
Yeah, well, what really changed was newspapers discovered
that they could charge people money
to get a loved one listed in an obituary column,
and they could make some dough on it.
And then it became a real thing.
They made fat stacks, as everyone called it in 2011.
These stats are pretty amazing, though,
from 1,900, what, 400,000 obituaries in 1900,
and then that's from two million total newspapers.
By the 1930s, there were 1.25 million obituaries
in about two and a half million total pages.
Yeah, so obituaries themselves in number exploded.
Because they were making dough.
Right, but they also, the amount of the newspaper
that they represented exploded to them
from a fifth to a half of all pages were obituaries.
Really?
Yeah, that's, I mean, my math, it's usually wrong,
but I'll bet it's close.
1.25 million obituaries in two and a half million pages.
That's half, right down the middle.
Right down the middle, yeah.
And this is where, in the 30s and 40s,
is where you start to see that sort of classic
obituary notice that we know today, not just died, sorry.
But stuff, it's a four-part thing,
the death announcement, a little bit of a bio,
who they're survived by,
and then a little bit of the funeral info.
Right, and it didn't have to be like one paragraph each,
but I mean, like, it was in those segments.
Sometimes the middle bio part was extensive,
depending on what they'd done.
You know, sometimes the survived bio
was bigger than other times.
Like that sweet story about that veteran
who died in Florida, I think a couple months ago,
and he outlived all of his family,
and somebody got word of it,
and it became like a viral thing.
And 10, I think like 10,000 people showed up
for his funeral to make sure that he was seen off,
that he wasn't forgotten.
What is your obituary say?
I assume you have pre-written it.
First of all, it just says died.
Died.
Yeah, I've pre-written it.
I'm on draft like six or seven.
Yeah, I got you.
No, I have not.
Have you done yours?
No, of course not.
I haven't even thought of mine.
I'm still L-I-V-I-N.
All right, all right, all right.
So this is where the genealogy comes in,
in that now you've got spouse's name, children's names,
married names of daughters, grandchildren.
I mean, you might see cousins if it's noteworthy.
Or even if it's not,
if that's what the family wants in there.
Right, right, because so the obituary,
as Ruse puts it, is a quasi-legal document.
A lot of people think you have to by law publish this
in the newspaper, you don't.
You do by law have to file for a death certificate,
like we talked about in the home burials short stuff.
But you don't have to publish it in obituary.
But it still definitely lets the community know,
hey, this person died, if this person happened to owe you
money, here's your chance to come make your claim
against the estate or whatever.
So it does serve some sort of function,
but it's not a law that you have to publish an obituary.
But it is up to the funeral home typically
to publish the obituary or contact the local newspaper.
But the family gives all the info
that they want included in it.
And they're the ones who are footing the bill.
I think it's usually charged by line.
So if you want to include Cousin, sure.
But it's going to cost you an extra $0.80.
Right.
Second Cousin, Eddie, really worth it.
And then things changed again really after 9-11, apparently
when the obituaries became much more personal.
And these great stories started coming out
about the people who died on 9-11.
And I think that sort of, at least according to the people
that they quote in this article, said
that that kind of changed things all over the country.
And people started being a lot more honest and maybe funny
and making them real memorials.
But also, like I said, being honest
and not brushing things under the rug.
Like if someone suffered from depression
and died by suicide, they wouldn't just put a vague sort of.
Died suddenly at home.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what they used to say.
Yeah.
And I'm sure some of them still do.
But I think there's a trend toward honesty and openness
now more so.
For sure.
And apparently, according to Susan Soper,
who's an obituary expert, as far as Dave Ruse is concerned.
Sure.
She said that that was probably what turned the tide,
that September 11th narrative obituary thing.
Did you read about that last thing,
about saying that the deceased will not be missed in some cases?
Whose was that?
Was that just one?
As far as I could tell, it was just one.
But a few years back, there was a woman whose children, whose
adult children said that the world would be better off
without her, or the world is now better off without her,
and she will not be missed.
She really jilted them as children,
and they had never forgiven her for it.
And it caused a huge outcry and backlash.
Really?
And actually, everyone sympathized with the dead woman.
Not the kids.
And not the kids.
The kids were taken as little monsters who couldn't forgive
their mom.
But it was a huge deal, and it really kind of said a lot
about how we view the deceased and their last send-off.
Right.
Just how many warts should you show?
Right.
And even if that was, I don't know,
I'm not going to take a side.
But even if that's the case, is it gratifying
to give mom a finger on the way out the door?
Yeah, I don't know.
You'd have to ask those kids.
Not a finger, the finger.
They were probably very surprised at the international
backlash that it garnered.
Interesting.
Well, that's it for obituaries, Chuck.
Yes.
That means short stuff is out.
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