Subpar - Bill Engvall Interview: The best golfer on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, playing in a Pro-Am with Colt

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

On this week's episode of GOLF's Subpar, stand up comedian Bill Engvall joins former PGA Tour pro Colt Knost and jicky jack legend Drew Stoltz for an exclusive, in-studio, interview. The star of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour talks which member of the group is the biggest competition on the course, how "Here's Your Sign" became such a hit, and why he fell in love with the game of golf.

Hello world. Welcome back to golf subpar, Colt Nost and Drew Stoltz. Getting you ready for the holiday season. Sleez, we got a couple things to get to real quick. First off, these new hoodies we got on rocking right here. Gravybird making his debut. Gravybird in the house. And you can go to the golf.com pro shop. Buy all this new swag we got going on it. Now a lot of cool stuff out there. A lot of good stuff. A lot of wintertime selection. We've had some lightweight hoodies, t-shirts, things like that. Now we're coming in for the wintertime. We got the new gravy bird in the building. The old sleazy bird in the house, but some nice hoodies, high quality. Perfect gift of Christmas gifts for anybody out there looking to shop.

Yep, love it. Go to the golf.com pro shop and click on the birdie juice collection and go get amongst it. And also, Sleaze, you've been seeing our Doers bottles here if you've been watching on YouTube. And this holiday season, make it personal with Doers custom bottles. Choose between Doers 12-year or doers 15-year Scotch whiskey.

Craft a message and receive a bottle with your message on the front label delivered right to your door. Make it funny. Make it sappy. Make it personal. Either way, you have 44 characters to say it, so make it count. Head over to customlabels. dot com to get started. All right, Slees, and by the way, a lot of action this week, but I'll be honest, golf kind of

stole the headlines. I mean, I know it's football season and all, but the PNC Championship, the parent child, Tiger Woods and Charlie Woods, they didn't win, but my God, were they the talk of the sporting world? They basically won, and they were getting all the hype leading into it. We talked about on the radio show for three consecutive days, and at the time, I was kind of thinking, like, I want to be careful about how hyped I get for a 12-year-olds golf game.

You know what I mean? Like, let's all just taper the expectation. here. The kid's 12. He's going out there. I mean, not only is he playing in front of cameras and stuff. He's done it before. He did it last year, but this time's different. It's Tigers is his dad's return. Every media member in the world is going to be there. People are tweeting about it. Like, let's just chill out and how much attention we're giving this 12 year old. Like, this could be tough sledding. And by God, by the end of the tournament, I was like, all right, skip all these people. I want to see Charlie hit it. Dude, the game was a joke. I was floored by how good it was. And I'm one to not get too hyped up, like I said, about a 12-year-old's golf game.

Well, I think the difference too was, obviously Tiger was making his comeback, but last year when he played, people were raving about his game. There was no crowds there. It was just the TV cameras were there, but this time, I mean, there were thousands of people out following this kid around going crazy. He had security walking next to him, and nothing seemed to phase him. I mean, the shots he hit coming down the stretch to the back right pin on 16 was unreal. The par 317th, he hit at the closest of anyone all day, just drew one into a left and right win with a five ironed like six feet, five feet. Makes birdie. I was shocked they didn't Birdie 18.

That would have been fun to see it, make it a little more exciting. But, dude, unbelievable Charlie Woods. You are a superstar in the making. I mean, there's going to be a lot of expectations, like you said on. There might be some expectations. But my God, I mean, I tell you what, he has got off to an incredible start. Yeah, I hope he enjoyed his private life, the 11 and a half years that he had it, because he's not going to be able to make a move in the golf world from now on

without the whole world knowing about every junior tournament, his scores, what he's winning. But like you said, like 12 years old, I don't. know how great the 12-year-olds are anymore these days, but I can guarantee you there's not a whole lot of guys fading five irons to back-right pins with water on the right and then turning around and drawing it into the wind on the next hole with water left. And not only that, like, how many 12-plus footers did we see him make? And he wasn't putting second, Tiger putted second most of the time. So he was the first one hitting and he ran a few by or whatever, but how many did he hole? I mean, tons of putts. Like the whole arsenal was unbelievable.

His entire game was just awesome to me. And I mean, his demeanor, he just looked so mature. I mean, wasn't going crazy fist pumping out there. We just picked the coin up, toss it back to his pops. Yeah, I got this one, bud. Yeah, it was business. But, I mean, people were talking before the week. Like, I mean, he's well down in the rankings as far as, like, junior golf in Florida, which is shocking to me from what I've seen.

Does he just not play? I don't know. But, I mean, if you go out, I would have to imagine the next junior tournament he plays in, he's going to have to be like, well, this is easy. There's no TV cameras. There's not thousands of people watching me. This is going to be great. It might also suck.

I'm not signing autographs. I'm not getting interviewed, things like that. I mean, I don't know, the Calabara golf of 12-year-olds in Florida must be a joke or else he's not playing anything. And the scary thing is, like, at that age, distance matters so much. There's some kids that are bigger, they hit it way further. It's a massive advantage. As you get older, that starts to all kind of even out. That kid hasn't even hit his gross spurt yet.

The golf swing, just leave it alone. It looks flawless and just let him get bigger, bigger, bigger, he's going to start hitting bombs out there. And it can be scary. But like I said, he's 12 years old. There's a long ways to go. He's not even old enough to get to all the stuff that can distract you from having him. good golf game yet. But right now, shit looks pretty good.

I mean, look, here we are, however many minutes in this podcast. Tiger Woods just made his return to golf for the first time, nine months plus, and we haven't even said one thing about Tiger. I'll tell you one thing. I'm about to talk about Tiger because what I noticed watching, he was into it. You could see, he had, I mean, he was focused. He was wanting to win that golf tournament. He was so disappointed when he missed that put on 18.

You could tell, but it was just, it was cool to see those competitive juices get going for Tiger. And I just really, really thought, like, he was into it. He wasn't going fist pumping anything like that. He was focused, just quiet, you know, fist bumps with Charlie. He was on a mission. Both of them were business. I mean, there was a shot they got the first day. Tiger had missed the green on a part three from like 200 yards.

He missed the green. And he kind of like rolled his eyes like, oh my God, I can't believe he missed the green from 200. I'm like, that's the best player to ever play the game of golf right there. But on Tiger, Justin Thomas alluded to this as well. I mean, how much further along is he than we even thought? I mean, it wasn't that long ago. He was just hitting the short arm. on the range. We kind of thought was the beginning. Then we got a glimpse of him hitting

some fairway woods and drivers down at the hero. And then this week, I mean, I saw him on the second day. He got up to 174 mile and hour ball speed. I mean, dude, that's above to our average. You can golf your ball. That's Colin Morikawa plus, probably, or thereabouts. I mean, you can get it done at 174. That was with like just a big cut that he hit on that shot too. Yeah. I mean, I think in four more months, which is when we're hoping he'll play golf again. I mean, he's going to be 177, 178-ish. I would imagine he's going to continue to heal and get better. The Limp, wasn't the greatest thing. Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. The one thing, it was pretty pronounced, I mean, he's riding in a card everywhere when he was walking up to the

greens or, you know, to his ball in the fairway, it was noticeable. So I guess the question, I mean, golf swing-wise, he's got four more months. You expect that to progress to the point where like, yeah, that's good enough to go out there and compete. Is it, I think the only question now is, like, can he get around? Well, it sounds like he knows when he's going to play next. If you listen to what Lee Trevino said, they were interviewing Lee, he goes, listen, I'm not going to give y'all anything, but he's told me when he's playing. So that, I mean, he's, he's obviously has something in mind. He's not sharing it right now because obviously things could happen, but expect to see him tee it up in 2022. I think he knows exactly when he's playing. I think he knows

exactly everything he's going to do from today till that tournament. There's nothing that happens by accident with Tiger Woods. And I think there was a little, I don't want to call it sandbagging, but when he was down at the hero, I was like, look, let's just keep the expectations low. You know what I mean? Like I can not to the point where I can hear my ball land, but I'm pretty close to it, talking about how short he's hit. And then he comes out the next week and he's got 174 mona. ball speed. I think he's just purposely setting that bar low. Let's not get it to. If he comes out and says, yeah, I'm going to play again and I'm going to win again, then all of a sudden the bar's up there. And it's like, if he doesn't win, it's a disappointment. Now he's just set it to the point,

like, I hope I come back and play. But everything I saw this week, assuming he can walk around a golf course for 72 holes, the golf game will be ready in four months if that's when we're thinking at Augusta. Well, I'm so excited from what I saw. Yeah, it was awesome. I was surprised how much I I enjoy watching it. The Dallas Cowboys were playing at the same time as this PNC championship was going on, and I was flipping back and forth. Probably honestly, watching more golf than football since they were killing the Giants. I was literally watching it.

And like I said, we talked about it all week on radio. I was like, dude, the kid's 12. Let's relax. Like, it's going to look like a 12 year old. Sure, he's going to be probably better than the average 12 year old, but let's just chill out. And then by the end of it, I was like, when he started hitting these little carvers and rolling in puts and throwing the coin. I was like, give me more. He's going to win more majors than his dad.

More. Just, yeah, do like you do his dad and just follow him down the fairway. I want to see this kid go. It was really impressive. But we do have to congratulate John Daly. John Daly's been a guest here on Golf Subpar. Incredible performance. I know this is one that they've wanted to win for a long time. They've been close.

It was really, really cool to see Daly at the top of the leaderboard. It was really cool. I mean, John played well, Little John played well. Little John booms it, by the way. He moves it out there really good. And we talked about it going into the week. Like, they're odds. I don't know all the kids out there and how good they are,

but I know Little John's pretty damn good. I know John could still hit it and it's pretty damn good. They were going like 11 to 1 or something out there. And that thing cash. 27 unders. That's the scoring record. They played. Yeah, that was really cool to see.

Congratulations. John Daly and John Daly the second. All right, it's time to get to a very special guest. I know you're excited about this. I have had the pleasure of playing golf with this man, but you're a huge fan of stand-up comedy. Yeah. And this man, Bill Ingval, one of the best to ever do at Salison Studio, and it was a blast.

Some great stories lead. I'm super intrigued by this. I genuinely believe it. Playing golf on PJ tour is a very hard job. It's hard to stay there. There's no guarantees. Standing on a stage in front of hundreds, thousands of people, whatever it is, and just getting up there with a mic and saying, make me laugh.

And if you don't, I hate you. That's maybe the hardest job in the world. So I have a guy that's actually done it, done it successfully and done it for a long time. Hearing the story is about to come up. There's a lot of parallels you can draw, actually, between that and golf. You've got to start from nothing, go through some bullshit, and then hopefully you get to the big stage like he does. Yeah, it's a hell of a story.

I mean, going from wanting to go to college and be a teacher to being a stand-up comedian, which is pretty far apart. Yeah, slightly. But it all worked out pretty well. It's okay. You'll know Bill Involve all from Blue Collar Comedy with Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable guy, and Ron White. You probably said, here's your sign a bunch of times in your life.

Yeah. All right. Well, before we get to Bill Invol, we got to talk a little bit about our guys over at Rock Forum, the best golf speaker on the planet. You use it. I use it. We're out there getting amongst it with these guys. Sleez, I am so passionate about this speaker.

tell everyone. If you're going to take, I mean, it's Christmas season. What else, golf speakers are a great gift. There's only one option in my mind, rock form. This thing, the best magnet I've ever seen. There's no chance this thing's going to fall off your golf period. You could put it on a space shuttle. It is unbelievable. It's waterproof. The best battery life you could possibly ever have. I played no joke. I went to Pebble Beach. I played five days in a row. Didn't charge it. Came home. It was in my golf bag. Kind of forgot. I was like, oh, there might be a little juice left. It still made it through the whole round easily. No problem. That's the best thing about it because every golfer likes to have a speaker. Every

golf golfer likes go out there and play it for the entire round. Then what do you do after the round? You turn it off, put it in your bag. Boom. You forget about it. You don't charge it. Next day you show up and you get little ping-boom. And it's like, oh, shit, I got no music for today. This thing goes for days. I mean, it's crazy how long you can use it. You get everything you'd get from one of these super high-priced speakers and it doesn't cost you near as much, especially if you use our code on it. But like, I'm being perfectly honest. I use it every single round that I play with. And I rarely have to charge a thing. And it's a 10. Yeah. And it frees up cup holder, more room for transfusions or doers, whatever you want to put in there.

But it is incredible. You can put two speakers together, make it really, really loud. But like you said, it's a great holiday gift. Go to rockform.com and intercode subpar for 25% off. That's R-O-K-F-R-M dot com, intercode subpar, for 25% off. All right, here he is, Bill Engvall on Golf Subpar. Okay, looking forward to this one. This man here with us today has been making people laugh for a long time.

He's a stand-up comic, actor, member. of the highly successful blue collar comedy tour and created the phrase, or at least made it popular. Here's your sign. Bill Ingval, welcome. Hey, man, this is an honor, man. When Colt got hold of me, I was like,

because I watched it on the, is it Instagram or YouTube? I watched on Instagram because I see the, and so I've been following you guys. And when Colt reached out, well, yeah, yeah, I'll do it. Because Colt and I, we've been buddy for a long time. Colt and I are like that couple that they split up and then they kind of go their way and we kind of hook up again

and then we, and it's always in a different location. Yeah, little loving's better and no loving. This fate, it all comes back around. Not too often, Sleez is the third funniest person on this show. Right, exactly. God, this is going to be tough to swallow it. It's going to be tough to. I'm not to really turn it up.

I tell you, the first time I met Colt was in Orlando. They used to have the Disney, which was a great tournament, just because they gave you like a thousand park passes and, you know, if you had kids and stuff. And I was just giving them out to people. And what was funny was that people, I'd give them to people. I go, I see a family.

I go, hey, you guys want park passes? And their first reaction was looking like, what? What? Like, why are you too? And I just can't use them. Yeah. So we were, so I got paired. So the tournament was you played with two pros, one, one day, one the next day.

So I got paired up with Colt and he didn't know me and I didn't really know him that well. And we started out. And the first hole was a par five. and I was playing with Colt and Colt was smashing the ball. That is not sure. Your is already starting on the ball. Anything you say from this point, forward,

it was really straight. From my perspective. Bombs from Colt. But I birdied the first hole with a pop and Colt's like, hey, all right, we're going to have some, you know, and we were cutting up and laughing and then I,

because I'm playing with the pros. So I like, I can't hit with them. So I'm just going to do my little swing. And then I started scoring. And all of a sudden, then I started caring. And then I'll never for it. And I used this, I took this advice and I still have it on my bag.

Sometimes I have it in my bag. I wrote it down. We were about number 13 in the game. It started to dwell down into the darkness. And Coke goes, Bill. When you don't give a shit, you hit the ball pretty damn good. It's true. And he was right.

It was like, it was the perfect, it was a perfect thing say because now I'm trying to like push it down there further and it's like it was going left right so but to this day I wish I'd have brought it I'd show you uh I have when we finished the day we were tied for first and I have a picture of the PGA scoreboard that says no st Invol and it was and then then I got stuck with another guy the next day I don't know who you went with but I was like lobbying everybody I go just let me keep playing with cold and they go no we kind of switch it That's true. I tried to as well.

That was the last time my name was on the top of a leaderboard. Yeah. There's a short list of guys that lean into that you want to get. And then there's something that just couldn't get two shifts. The other guy in our group, Mowlinger, you know, nobody really wanted to play with him. No, Mal that's a tough one. They can't all be winners. He got at least one.

I would tell you, funny, sir, Malie was playing at the, it's kind of spent so many things now at the Riviera. And so, Malinger played out of Virginia Country Club where we belong. And, you know, him and Cook and Cantley was just a little kid at that time. And so I had no manager. And so we're walking around. And I think you were playing in the Riviera. It was a better been Thursday, Friday. I didn't play many weekends there.

And so I saw a manager. I go, and I don't know who his catty was. But I'm sure the catty had no idea who I was. And I saw him. He was like, just like about a half a fair way away. I went, hey, Malley. He goes, his name's Manager. I'm like, okay.

Okay. Johnny, control your people. Yeah, okay. Like, yeah, I'll just sit here and watch. I love it. Let's talk about your golf game. Okay. First off, did you start young? When did you get into it? How is it? You know what?

Okay, so I, we lived in Winslow, Arizona, which if you've never been to Winslow, you haven't missed much. Isn't that in a song? Yeah, it was an Eagle song. Which, by the way, they weren't in Winslow. They were actually in Flagstaff, but that Flagstaff didn't fit into the song as well as Winslow. did so Winslow just took it. And so I learned, I learned from, I just took my dad's club. I'm left-handed and he

was right-handed. So I just taught myself and picked up really bad habits. And then I really started taking it more seriously, I guess, probably 15 years ago, or whatever long has been. It may be long in that one. But I really started trying to work out because I love golf. There's something about the sport. If it was any other sport, I'd have quit because it's just not worth of frustration. But you know, it's just you get every once in while you hit that shot that is like a pro whether it's a chip or a drive not probably not drive anymore these days but the uh but i just love the game of golf and so i got down to about an eight uh which then i went wow if i took lessons i could be a five i went from eight to 15 is that because of zach final yeah yeah that makes sense i just i love i love

Because I think the reason I love golf is because it's just you and the course. It's not you. I'm not playing against you. It's just we're each playing the same course and whoever has the lower score is going to win. And it's just one of the most wonderful. My favorite time to play is in the evening, like about 4 o'clock. And there's nobody out there. And just there's something about when you just peer that shot,

whether it's, you know, a 7 iron with a baby draw or it's, you know, you hit that drive that just, goes, wow. And I love walking. That was one reason I got my knee fix because I love walking, of course. Because you generally, if I'm in a cart, we're rushing up to, you know, you're rubs to the ball and you're hitting, you're not getting a chance to really. I always love what Nicholas told Cantley when he said, look around.

Enjoy what you got here, man, because it's like, but I think that's kind of what golf's in a way I'm kind of sad about that is it, it's become, well, it's big business. I mean, it's huge. But these guys are all, you see them come out and they're having fun and they're laughing and speed jumping up down and high bumping his caddy when he chips it in. And then all of a sudden there's something that turns and it becomes a job. And when it becomes a job, then you can see that they just don't have as much. Like poor Justin Thomas.

I mean, I think, you know, personally, I love the guy, love him. But I just think he got into his head and this is a job. And he stopped having fun. I tell you what we joke about that. all the time. Like, since I quit recently, like the first year after I quit, I would text my old swing instructor and be like, God, man, I'm hitting it so good. This game is so easy now. He's like, because you don't care. Right. You don't give a shit. He goes, I wish you would tell my tour players this. But it's, it's so hard as a tour player to play and not care. Well, no, and by the way,

you know, my friends call me the best second ball hitter on the planet because I can shank a ball out of bounds and then drop another ball and be perfect. And so he goes, my coach, Dick Highland up at D.C. Rans says it's because you don't care. Exactly. He said, you got to get that thought. You trust the second one. Yeah, yeah. And it doesn't matter because you're not going to be able to count it.

Yeah, it's like so counterintuitive. It's like the less you try, the better. And the smooth you swing, the further it goes. It's like, you know, I try to crank on these balls and it's like, and if I just, it was funny, one day we were playing, I was getting ready to go play and Dick said, do me a favor. He said, today I don't want you, I said, I don't want you just swing every club like you do a seven iron. he said and just come tell me what happens and I was like okay you're fired yeah you're fired yeah

that's not what I want to play one of the best rounds of my life just because I didn't you know it's just like every ball I thought there's no way I'll get on in regulation in par fives and I was and it was just like okay maybe there is something to this but but it's just I always said golf is like that psychotic girlfriend you want to break up with that you just get to that point and then she sleeps with you and it's so good and you go all right I'm back in for six more months That booty call. Golf is a booty call. It is.

Everything else is the disaster. But yeah. Always go back to it. I'm having fun. I love playing. My wife, and I love that Gail loves to play. She plays. She is insane with it.

I mean, she's at home right now. She's sick. And I know it's not even that she feels better. She can't be out playing. I heard she owns you on the golf. Oh, she does own me. And you know what? Never taken a lesson.

She just has her little swing. And it's just, but I will tell you a funny story because I used to get so frustrated. she'd be like, why are you getting so mad at this game? And I'm like, just, whatever. And then she started getting better. And all of a little more swear words started coming. I'm like, well, why are you getting so upset about that, babe?

He's up. I heard a great story. I'll play with Clint Black one day. Oh, my God. You hit one of those fantastic shots that keep you coming back, and then something happened. I hit a shot. It was a par three. It was 180 yards.

And which is by the other thing, you can remember every shot, every yardage. and I hit this ball and I was it landed on the green and started breaking left and stopped about a foot from the hole and so Clint we're playing with Clint Black because he was doing the concert that night in Glenwell and Clint plays a little golf and we had a great time

and so we go to the forward tease and Gail gets up and hits this ball and Clint Black standing behind her and he goes there's Gail Lingville she's just taking an iron she's got a nice smooth swing there it's flying it's on the green rolling it's in the hole hole in one called by clint black and the funny story was the only thing she was thinking about was she goes i want to do better than you did yep and i go what the there's only 11 inches in there to work with yeah i've got the

picture of it don't worry yeah one of your little friends about us to be the picture we might have to get it on the show and by the way this last summer she did it again yeah she's labeled you up you got two yeah I only had one. I didn't even see it. It was an elevated green at Virginia Country Club. And we were playing in a couple things. It was early in the morning. And it's a really high up raised green.

And so I hit the ball and I go, okay, that should be on. And this guy walks to the edge and looks back and he goes like this. He's pointing down. And I go, ah, it's in the trap. You know. And then I go, why would a guy do that? Why would he walk up and just say, hey, you're in the trap, you know, kind of being a jerk?

And walked up and he goes, hey, hold in one. I'm like, well, what? You didn't get to see it. No. Were you getting to play, because you've been touring for so long. Did you get to play on, I mean, Blue Collar, you got a couple other guys or at least one that loves golf? Dan is, he'll play 36. He's Larry.

72 holes in a day. Yeah, Larry, they can't, we'll play 72 holes in a day. He lives out here in the winter as well. Yeah, yeah, he's, I don't know there's a club out here he doesn't belong to. But you know what? He loves it, and it's great. And, but I think your question, the hard thing is to when you, you know, we would fly in and just do the show and then fly out. So we really, really have time to go play.

And, but yeah, Ron plays a lot of golf. And it would have, that would have been a lot of fun to be able to do that. Because we, you know, I've got to play the best courses. I'll tell you my favorite golf story. We were, we did a golf tour over in Scotland, Ireland. And for nine days, we had, even the cats. patties were like, you guys, this weather's never like this. It was like sunny, 70 degrees.

And so every nine days, we had that kind of weather. The last day we're playing, oh, what's the court? I'm having a senior moment. It's in Ireland. It's the number one golf. Royal County Down. Sideways rain, win. That's not a good one to be.

No. And so we, and when the bus pulled in with the, oh, there's like 40 golfers. You can just see the look on, they're like, oh, God, they showed up. And so I didn't even hit a driver. I just said, I'm going to hit a five iron off the tea just because I just wanted to play nine holes because it was just miserable. And so I hit my tea shot and it literally rolls into a puddle of water. So just the top third of the ball is sticking out. And the caddy goes, and I'll do a horrible Irish.

He goes, he can take it out of there you want. And I go, would Ben Hogan have taken it out of the water? I don't think he would have. And I took a hybrid and I flushed this ball. And it dropped about seven feet from the pin and he goes, Christ, he's going to want to play 18. I was like, no, dude, we're done. We're done.

Are you a guy like when you're home on the weekends, you're watching a lot of golf? Always. I love the golf. I just, you know what? I'll tell you what I watch a lot. For just enjoyment, I watch the PGA. But if I really want to watch the LPGA,

these girls are. just insane. I mean, it's just another level. And the pros, too. And so I love watching on TV. And I love what you do on it. You know, it's like, I think, I love the fact that you keep it light. And but you watch these guys. And of course, you know, they're putting for their, you know, their life. I mean, it's their card. It's like, you know, I'm standing over a five foot put for, you know, to win the skin. But now you say, hey, by the way, this put's worth $3 million. dollars. You get a little pucker factor.

Majors, everything. But yeah, I love, I love watching golf. Just like, I mean, obviously the masters, but I love the tournaments. They're really getting some nice courses. And I like, I like Jack's tournament a lot. Just because, you know, he's, Jack is figure, you know, everybody's like, well, how do, they're, you know, all the conversation about how do we, you know, these guys are hitting the ball too far.

Jack just lets rough grow up. And it's, I mean, it's, I got to play easy. Lake, two weeks before the NCAAs, do, if you hit the ball six inches off the fairway, you couldn't find your ball. Yeah. I mean, literally just would drop down. And, of course, and there's always the kid that was catting for us. He goes, yeah, he goes, they play this par five is a par four.

You know what? I don't really need to know that. Play this as a part six. My favorite was when we were playing golf one time in Ohio. And somebody said, we had the ball. They go, Nancy Lopez hit it from this tea. And she's about 600 yards past Joel. Thank you.

When you're watching, you're Texas guy, who do you root for? You got guys that you pull for more or another? Yeah, I mean, Spieth, I really likes Jordan a lot. But, you know, it's funny because all the guys I grew up with now are on the senior tour, they're done. But there's, I still like the, Spieth's one of my favorites. I just love the, I love his game because he's, we're a lot of like in the sense that it's just nonstop talking to yourself. I mean, if you watch me play, I'm just talking about, okay. If there was 144 Spice out there each week, I wouldn't have a job.

I would do nothing. We don't need commentators. Right. So let me ask you, what's your favorite, what's your favorite course you ever played? Ever? Ever? I played Augusta a few weeks ago. So that's probably up there.

Ever heard of it? Yeah. All right. I bet he's played it more than I have. No, I did play it, but I'm going to tell you my, this is my favorite golf story. So we're playing Augusta. It's two weeks after the Masters. All the signage is still up.

And I'm playing with Ozzy Smith, the Hall of Fame shortstop. And we get to number 12. And, you know, I'm playing okay. I was really amazed by Augusta. From the member T's, it's not that tough, of course. No. It's big, wide fairways. The greens are everything that you see on TV, for those who are listened.

It is, it's like putting on glass. And so we get to number 12. It's at par three over Ray's Creek. And the cat, he goes, he goes, let's hit a six iron. So I said, okay. And I was, you know, I'm in Augusta. I'm not even. thinking golf really. I'm just, which sounds weird, but it's just so beautiful. And I hit this ball,

and I swear as soon as it hit left the club, he goes, oh, man. I'm like, what? And he goes, that is tracking. That's tracking. And I'm watching it, and it is. And it hits on the green. He goes, there it goes, there it goes. Hits the pin, rolls 45 feet off down into the creek. God, damn. I said, if I had gone into the flag. No, it hit on the green. But that's how quick the greens were it hit on the green and rolled and hit the pen square and then kicked it off and it rolled if i'd have gotten a hole in one on that hole i would i would have quit golf that was my favorite like when i first i worked the masters this past year but when i got to that t-box that's when it hit me i'm like my god this place is incredible it is it is insanely beautiful uh and just the history of it

you know you walk through the clubhouse and there's you know all the putters that clubs that guys have But it was interesting because we had a, I played with a member, which I think you have to. And I was peppering him with questions, and he was deflecting him left and right. But Ozzy Smith had one of the funniest lines. The guy was, do you remember when Louis Oostazen got the double eagle? Yeah, number two. Okay, and he threw the ball into the crowd. They said within 30 seconds, there was about eight guys in green jackets around them.

Really? And that ball is now. That ball's in the Augusta Hall of Fame. And I said, well, what happened with the, what they give the people? And honestly, he goes, I bet they didn't pay for master's tickets ever again. That's good point. Yeah, hell of it. I was actually on property.

I was the only one I've ever been to, and I was out there on 12T, 11 Green watching that. And we heard it. And no one knew what was happening, obviously, because you're not watching it. And then they got the scoreboard right there. A guy walks over, goes to Louis and drops at three. And everyone then freaked out out there. It was crazy. You know, it's funny, because when you watch it on TV and you hear the roars or stuff,

But that's one of the beauties of Augusta, as you can't really see unless you're right there. And so it's that anticipation. Like, what is, what, you know? And there's no, like, jumbo-trons with, you can't see what. And there's different roars. Like, there's Tiger Roar, their other words. This was, like, early.

The leaders had just teed off, and that happened, and we were like, what? Something weird just happened and they came over. It's the only place where, as just a golf fan, if you do get the chance to play it, or even if you're just out there watching, you remember all the shots that guys hit. Oh, I bet.

Sure, yeah. Yeah. I remember I was telling him today, we were talking about the masters on our serious XM show. And I said, I got to 18. And I remember the year Jordan won on Saturday, he hit it way right up in the crowd on his second shot. And the pin was back right. And he flopped like two feet. And I remember Jim Nance saying, this kid is incredible. And I looked from where he hit that. I'm like, how did he do that? How did he do that? Well, or Bubba's shot out of the trees. That's just not even like, it's hard to even fathom that. Yeah, it fills out of the, even fills out of the part.

It's like the fact that he took that chance. It's just, it's crazy. And it's interesting, you already know this, you guys know this, but like when we got to 18, you know, we're just playing from the member T's. The guy said, come on back here. I won't show you where the pros are from. It's like, y'all, for those years, it's like hidden through a door, like a door jam. And then he said, now add 10 people deep, 20 people deep. And you can't feel your hands. No. I was one of the things, I thought Tiger had, one of the, I was reading stuff about Tiger.

They said that when he was playing at the peak, that when he was getting ready for the Masters, that he used to go and would hit, would hit a ball from 100 yards to the green, and then just sprint to the green. And he would put. And they said, why are you doing it? He goes, because when you're at Augusta on 18, he goes, that's what your heart's doing.

That's why Sleeves shotguns are redwood before you front. That's the only way to mimic the nerves, dude. All I needed to do is get to a place where I got nervous. It was big enough moment. I just couldn't get there. I would have been ready. Scott Hoke, the world, I mean, that would be me. Two-foot put to win the Masters?

You wouldn't make your worst enemy put, No, no. If you were playing with your guys, you're just thinking... A hundred percent. Yeah. Slap that one back. Yeah. But that's the beauty of golf.

I mean, it's just like there's just so much going on. And, you know, when you... And I love what... There's guys like, I still, to me still, Ernie L's got one of the greatest swings. I mean, if I could have that, just that, him or, uh, uh, Colin Morcawa. Oh, just... You like that a little bit. He wasn't such a dick.

I got it. Yeah. He's got a PR problem. Yeah, he won't be around long. I just watched their swings and I go, where is that power coming from? You know, it's like they look like they're just like, I played, I used to do commercials for Bama Jams, which is a subsidiary of Welch's. And one of the perks was I got to play in the LPGA tournament in Tucson.

I play with Meg Malin and with Onica Sorenstam and Julie Inster. And it would be me and two again. corporate executives and then the pro. The guys look like at the end of eight, we'd just gone nine rounds with Mike Tyson. These girls didn't even break a sweat. I mean, they're just, and they're just,

and her just, and her just, she's coming on the show soon. I was just with her. Oh, please give her a hug for me. She is fantastic. I love Julie Aster. She likes to have a good time to.

Heard some rave reviews about. Oh, she's got some of the best jokes, and jokes you just go, what? That's pretty big. Yeah, I mean, Coming from you to say someone's got good shows. Oh, I'm going to tell you something.

Thank God Julie Inkser didn't go on tour because of a comedian because I'd have been out of work. Who is the best golfer out of the guys on the blue collar? I mean, that's what Foxworthy didn't play. No, he didn't really play that much. I haven't seen Larry's game lately. I heard it's gotten good. I think probably, from what I've heard, I think Ron probably has a more consistent game. You know, I can hold my own with him.

Yeah, you can say yourself. Yeah, I mean, I can, you know, I always thought one of the fun of the things I wanted to do was have a do like a charity thing, like a charity match. Ron, me, and Larry, and just, you know, all the money would just go to a charity and we'd play for, you know, just play better ball. We can still do that. Yeah, that's not off the table. Yeah, I would love to do that. I'll tell you one of my favorites I'd heard about Larry was when he first started playing golf, they'd gone to Pebble Beach, which was, that was one of my dreams before you quit was that you and I would get to play Pebble Beach together.

That would have been just the, that would have been the crowning jewel in my golf career. But I was talking to Larry, and he said, yeah, man, I shot an 85 at Pebble Beach. I said, what? I go, wow, that's great. And this buddy pulling me, he said, we're playing off the best drive. By the way, if that would have been the crowning moment of your golf, the partners I've had in the past would disagree with you. I wouldn't even care. Colt and I had so much fun just because we just kind of were kind of the same sympathicos.

and it's just, I just had, it was so fun to be. And I got to tell you, this sounds goofy, but it's different when you're inside the ropes. It's like you've got, I don't, I literally, it could be you standing two feet from me, but there's a rope between us, and it just makes all the difference. It's like, that was what I loved,

you know, the American century, you've got that chance to feel like a pro, and, but it was, it was one, I got another Pebble Beach story. So my manager took me to Peel Beach Oums. I'd never played it. And so we get to, we stay at the lodge, we've got caddies, we're, you know, early tea time, perfect. Everything's perfect. And I birdie, number one.

And then I pard every hole through seven. Okay. So we get to that blind tee shot over the rock and the caddies, you know, the caddies didn't know me from me. He just sees what I'm playing today. And I was having a great day. He said, just take it over that rock. Edge of the fairway, we'll be home free. I hit it right over that rock.

It rolled right to the edge of the fairway. He goes, three iron, we're good. I go, I can't hit a three iron. I got to hit my three wood. And he goes, oh, dude, you'll be 200 yards over the green. You can't, no, he got it. We argued for five minutes. He got me to hit a three iron, took a 12 on the hole and shot a 104.

Damn it. I mean, the wind didn't even wobble. They just went, boom. The first one, top end of the ravine? top end of the ravine or something? Three or four of them into the right downboard. Could have just peeled a little three wood.

I could have. It's a chippy three wood. It's not a full three wood. I knew what I need to hear. That's like, I was like, Long's not really good on the brain, but let me just peel the three wood.

Yeah, let me just deal. I got this. I can back it off a little bit. I know we can talk golf all day, but you know, this is that you're the first comedian we've had on this show. And I know Slees is dying to get to,

because you say you want to be a golfer. He wants to be a stand-up comedian. I think it's the hardest job and the cool, Very few people can do it at a very high level. I think it's the toughest thing in the world. See, I got to tell you, I agree with you. And I think Rodney Dangerfield had it summed up just in a bit, his bit of, you get no respect.

People look at stand-up comedians, like, well, just go up there and do your stuff. Go be funny. Yeah, just go be funny. And it's also, though, one of the most rewarding jobs in the world because I've been doing it for 42 years now. And I've got to be honest with you, if you had told me, at I'd be when I first started it would last that long I'd have said you were high because

it just what it's just there's something that's really rewarding and that when you can take people that don't know you they don't know anything about you and you can take them on this little journey and right now we really need it's it's hard now because the world's changed people are different but I love stand up and I always said I wanted to go out on my own term and I am. I'll probably miss it. There's times I'll miss it. But like, you know, the thing about standup that's hard

and a lot of people don't see this is that they see you on stage for 75 to 90 minutes and they think, oh, that's a great job. You know, they don't see the 22 and a half hours you're stuck in a hotel room with no cable. And, you know, and when you know, I knew it was getting to be time. I remember playing the improv in Vegas. and we did 16 shows in seven days.

And this last weekend, they said, we got two shows. I'm like, what? Oh, come on. 16 and seven. Yeah, that was three shows a night. And, you know, you only were doing 20 minutes, but it's Vegas and nobody really cares.

But, yeah, stand-up is, it's awesome. It's kind of, you know, there's a lot of golf. It used to be, we would kill our time by, drinking. But then as you got older, you started playing golf. So I, you know, when I was still doing the club circuit, I would take my golf clubs with me and just go. I would literally go to the, I would find a local course. Like here, I remember coming here to Phoenix. We used to play the improv in Tempe. And I would go find a golf course, like a munich course and just give the pro tickets to the shows. And he'd let me play golf. And, uh, and I had to stop telling other

comedians about because they would go screw it up. But, uh, you know, I keep that talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the first. first time I was ever aware of the fact that in the summer in Phoenix you can pay for $25. And in the winter, that same course is $250. Yeah. It's true. A little different. It's kind of like golf, though, in a sense, like, to start, you just like if someone wants to turn pro, you think you're good enough, dude, go do it. You know what I mean? It's kind of similar with that. If you're funny, go to, what was your first, like, I'm doing comedy. This is it. This is my job. First performance.

You know what? I honestly, seriously, I don't think it really hit me until here's your sign came out. But I should backstep that a little bit in the sense that when I won the American Standup American Comedy Awards Best Stand Up in a nightclub, I knew I could hang then because it was the first time that they let the public vote. It was not just people sitting around a table going with that guy's funny. But I knew I had the chops. And it was hard for me to – oh, I'm going to get – Telephone. Agent?

Oh, yeah. Vegas residency? It's Tiger. That's weird. Tiger. Think about coming back. He asked me, he keeps calling me going. Think I should go back?

No, no, don't. But no, stand-up is one of the most wonderful, but it's never, you know, every comedian wants to be a singer, and every singer wants to be a comedian, and both of them want to be golfers. So it's like, you know, it's, but they, what they don't see is that it really takes away. takes away. I got to give Gail credit, you know, in 42 years of doing this. She's never once, you know, said, why do you got to go? I'm here with the kids. You know, this is not, yeah, I'm sure she thought it, but it just made it so much easier for me to do what I wanted to do. And, you know, it's great when I look back. And it's a, I tell you, it's a gig that's easy to get caught up in what you haven't done. I got it. I got the brass ring. I caught it, you know.

I don't ever want to do this job just for a check. Like last night we had two great shows. And when you're in that tunnel, man, and you're with the crowd and you're on the same wavelength and everything's just bam, bam, bam. There's no better job. Now, conversely, there's been a lot of nights. I wish I had a band and went,

all right, boys, this is a rush. Play me out. Give me the worst. Every comics I have to have at least, I mean, to different degrees, just a complete disaster. Oh, I think. And if they don't, you know, it's a lot like masturbation.

If they tell you they have them, they're lying. That's probably not going to get on the air. No, that's not going to say whatever. We're going to lead with that, yeah. But no, yeah, I've had. What's the worst? The worst. Well, hey, the worst hecklers you can get are drunk women because you can't, you can't just slam them.

You know, you've got it. Yeah, then you're a bully. Yeah, now you're like, hey, what's, what do you? But I did a job. It was a corporate gig. And this guy called me and he said, hey, I want you to do a show for our company. He said, we're an international company.

I said, all right. He said, it's going to be 100 guys. I said, okay, how many are international? How many are American? He goes, oh, it's like 90 Americans and 10 guys from other countries. I go, okay, great. So they flew me to Florida. I get there and I walk in the room,

and it's like a Fellini film. The room is pitch black, dark. There's just a white hot spotlight on the stage. Come to find out, it's 100, international guys and 10 Americans. And I start doing my show and there is not a titter. I mean, nothing. And I'm like, what the heck?

And so I'm trying to do these shows and out of the darkness I hear this. Do you do any South African jokes? I go, dude, I'm from Texas. I just thought there was Africa. They didn't always broke it up. And so I kept trying because, you know, they were paying me good money. But then the conversation started, I go, all right, look, you know what? In my head, I'm thinking.

I'll give them their money back, just fly me home. You know, this. Give me out of here. Yeah. And so finally, I just said, guys, I go, I said, I just listened to a beat of sweat and roll down the crack of my butt. I said, this just ain't working. I just listened.

That had to hit, no. No matter where you're from, you've had some sweat dripped on your butt. And so I walked off stage and the guy goes, why did you get off? And I go, because they're not laughing. He goes, we're British. We don't laugh. And I go, why are you higher and higher comedian? So what I did was, and this is where you get that kind of,

life or death thing. Not life or death. That's a little over the top. But you really try to... So what I did was, I got a beer, and I went table to table, and I told them the dirtiest jokes I knew, and they loved it.

The guy said, we want to book you next to you. I go, now we're good. I'm going to get out of here after this one. Yeah, but yeah, there's a... Yeah, you have those nights that, you know, especially in the clubs. You know, I get emails pretty, you know,

every once in a while that someone say, I want to be a comedian. I'm funny in the office. I go, now, go up to a nightclub, Midnight show on a Saturday night when they're just too drunk to even go to pass out. And if you can make those people laugh, then you can do it. But, you know, I think right now, comedy is starting to make its comeback because people need it. They need that release and that laughter.

And it's great to be able to, you know, give that to people. Where did the, obviously everybody knows you for here's your sign. Where did that all come about? Well, the bit used to be that I said, I thought stupid people should be slapped. which I still believe. Stand by that. Yeah, stand by that. But one day, Gail was,

she's always looking out for him. She goes, you don't look like the kind of guy that walks around slapping people. So I'll never forget it. It was like golf. I was in Omaha, Nebraska, working the Funny Bone Comedy Club,

and you were there for like six days, so you had time to work on material. And I came up with this idea of a sign that just said, I'm stupid. And that whenever somebody did or asked something stupid, you just give them a sign. That way other people wouldn't rely on them.

You know, they were saying, oh, sorry, I didn't see your sign. And it got hugely popular. to the point that I would, this always made me laugh. I would sell, after the show, little paper signs with string on them. And it said, I'm stupid. And I'd sell them for a dollar a piece or two for five bucks. Two for five bucks, we're a deal.

You would be amazed at how many. Take two. Two for five. That's a good deal. We get used to right around. I got a five in my pocket. Yeah, but the thing was, and it got, that's what got me to where I'm at. That got me to be a household name.

but even then because Foxworthy had gone so fast so far that that was the name everybody knew so he and I were always getting you know you like hey I love that you know you might be a redneck thing and you know and I was always like yeah that's Jeff Foxworthy and I said Jeff do you ever get people asking about

here's your son he goes all the time I go what do you tell me I tell them thank you but but that's where you know that that that was the the golden nugget right there and you know and I didn't I wouldn't trying to write something I didn't you know but like I it became the you know where's the beef of the 80s it was like uh you know I remember being in the first time I was in a grocery store and the clerk the register girl was doing something

and she called the manager over there I was about three people back so you know it wasn't like I was standing right there and the manager did something go there here's your sign I was like oh man when people were saying it without me being there or knowing that I was there. That's when I thought, that's going to be, that's awesome. Yeah, it's something like everyone, you know, no matter aid, young people, old people, it's one of those few things. Right.

Everyone can eat. It's not controversial. When Foxworthy and I had the same manager, and he had, you know, was in the stratosphere. And so we were going to release the first album. We were going to call it, Here's Your Sign. And so, you know, all I'd seen was Jeff's work. I was like, oh, man, here we go, baby. We're thinking they're rolling the money.

We released that Warner Brothers released the album and the first week it sold a hundred copies across the country We sold one in Hawaii and I was like what the hell? This is supposed to be my skyrocket to Well then we Travis Tritt and I did the song and it went from a hundred copies a week to 10,000 a week and it was The song was number one on the country charts for like 15 weeks or something like that And a funny story about who we unfortunately lost him this year last year to COVID. Joe Diffey was the first guy I went to to sing the song. And he said he went to his record label people and they said, nah, you don't want to be a part of a novelty song. You got a career. He said that thing set at number one for like 13 weeks ago. Every time I saw that record label

press, they go, hey, good calling it. Novelty song there. You're fired too, along with my golf teacher. Yeah. So, but yeah, it's been a, you know, this word gets overused, but it's just been a blessed career. I mean, it's, and trust me, I've tried to do everything to derail it, you know, I think it's part of like when my golf game, it's like when it's going good, go down, push it really hard, you know. So, but yeah, it's, I always tell me, if you want to do stand it, do it.

It's, it's a blast. Even, even dying on stage, some of the funniest stuff comes out of, when it's not going right. But I tell you, like, when we did blue collar, that was, A, the most, I mean, I tell people, I go, imagine you're on tour with three of your buddies,

you're selling out arenas, and they're throwing stupid money. I go, It doesn't get any better than that now. I mean, I remember one night we were in Nebraska, and we had all come from different parts of the country, so everybody had a charter jet. And for whatever reason, the promoter got four limousines,

which was silly because we all rode together. But that week, we all had our own limousine. And after the show, we drove back out to the airport, and each limo peeled off to a private plane. And I remember looking at Foxx, where they're going, this is close to rock and roll we're going to get. That's it. We held the record for selling out the Nashville arena in,

in 24 hours and then Bon Jovi beat it, which I said, that's two words you'd ever hear together. Blue Collar and Bon Jovi. Yeah. That was a damn Bon Jovi. That thing was a rocket ship. How did the blue collar come together? Well, they had done the Kings of Comedy, which was a brilliant idea. And Jeff and I and our manager were together, and we just kind of thought, you know, what about the other people?

You know, because Kingscom is a very specific audience, even though I loved it. but it was geared to their people. And so we had, you know, middle America, and there was nothing really for them. And I'll tell you an interesting story. We were, so we said, we're going to do 10 shows, see how it goes. And the first show was supposed to be in Orlando, of all places.

And for whatever reason, the gig didn't go off. So we moved it to Omaha. And we sold 9,000 tickets in one day. And months later, we went, went back to Orlando and it was our lowest selling date. And if we had started in Orlando, it probably would never have gotten off the ground. Wow. Yeah.

But it was, I just never forget that people would just line up. And they, I would, before each show, I would walk out in the middle of the arena and just look around and just go, this is insane. It is insane that here's four guys who were, you know, free drinks at a comedy club. And now here we are selling out these arenas and people, you know, especially with Larry, you know, just to watch the kids dressing up like Larry and, you know, like I remember a kid came to get it done. Oh, my God.

It was, and you're happy. And then we did blue collar TV, which was a great show. We wanted to make, we wanted it to be like the old Carol Burnett show, this kind of sketches and stuff. And we were the WB's number two show behind Riba. And they were freaking out because they thought they were going to be known as the country network. And so they pulled it.

But we had, I mean, there was just times that you just like, see. sat back and went, wow, this is so bigger than we are. And there was dolls. We had blue-collar dolls. That's when you know. Yeah. That's when you know. I remember we have spend the, when we were to spend the winters in Park City,

there was a 7-Eleven just down from the house, and I would go down there and get a cup of coffee and a paper, and I walked in there one night. And there was the Bill Invol doll laying on the counter. And the Indian guy behind the counter, I go, oh, my God, look, that's my dog. He goes, $7. I go, no, dude. I go, that's me.

He goes, $7. I don't know who you are. There's $7. Of course, it didn't look anything like me. It looks like a cross between Robert Goulet and Frankenstein. It was like a generic missing person. But yeah, just the fact that people had doll, I get, to this day, people will bring the Bill Greenwald doll to sign the, you know, the box.

And then, you know, the here's your sign was what got me in my own show, which was, that was, you know, that's the holy grail for comics. It's getting your own show. And we had Jennifer Lawrence, who we gave her her first job. She played my daughter. Things worked out okay. Yeah, she's going to all right. She owes you everything.

You launched that girl. You know what? God bless her heart. When she did Winner's Bone, and for about the first three movies she did, she gave me credit. And I said, you know, and she's, you know, I loved her

because she's just, you know, Kentucky. She's just a basic girl. And I think that's why Hollywood ate her up. It's because she was just, she wasn't that typical. but you know I can remember I remember being we shot the show on the CBS Radford lot

where they shot Gunsmoke and Gilligan's Island and all that and like the exterior shots from my house where that was the Cleaver's house you know and I remember standing there and these big gigantic doors that they would roll open so the crew could get all their staged stuff

and it said the Bill Invol show and I just remember sitting there looking and they go wow this is insane yeah that thing i mean to this day you got get it on here's your sign you might be right like people still use that oh all the time what was the last year y'all i mean that was that's been 2000 20 years ago yeah it's like early 2000 starting to i just uh was driving over your list of the country station and they played the christmas here's your song sign it's like it's gonna be like grandma got run over by a reindeer you know it's like you and mariah care yeah that

A lot of people make that mistake. I got one just like this serious like comedy. You said like I feel like comedy is making a comeback and people need it right now. But then if you look at it, it's like the cancel culture and peace. I look at what's going on with Chappelle right now. It's like for a long time, comics could kind of press the envelope. And now it's like you say something people don't agree with. They're coming for you.

Is that make it harder for everyone? Yeah. Well, not for me so much because my stuff's still middle of the road. You guys were pretty clean. But that Chappelle special wasn't any different things. the ones he's done before. I love Dave. Dave makes me laugh out loud.

Yes. And I just felt bad for him because you're right. He got caught up in the, you know, people, I don't know, I don't understand what the end game is for people. I don't know what they're hoping to get by being this way. It's obviously not working out. So why are you keep, you know. To ruin somebody else, I think it is.

It's like they want to see, they want to see you succeed, but they also want to see you fall. You know, and I think a prime example. as Tiger. You know, they, why, you know, here's a guy who

had pretty much alienated everybody in golf, including fans. And then all of a sudden he starts, he gets into that bad, bad times. And everybody's like, ah,

but then when he started making a comeback, oh my, it was like the second coming. It was like, you know, and it's like, and as a performer, whether you're an athlete

or an entertainer, whatever, that's a mind game. Because you're like, either hate me or love me, but, This whole back and forth, I don't know if I can handle that. Once you get to a certain level, I think people like to see that downfall, you know.

On the way up, they're trying to boost you up. When you get there, you're there for a while, they're like, okay, time to bring it. He's just had too much. Oh, I had one of my dear friends from the early days of comedy when I started getting a name. He was bad-mouthed me, and I was like, I finally called him. I go, what are you doing? He goes, I, well, I just, you know, he couldn't have an answer, you know, because I called him on it. you know, it's, uh, but it, you know, then, you know, then it, he kind of started being nice again.

It was like, I don't know what that. It's a weird, weird place to put your head. Yeah. Yeah, I'm with you. The end game, it's like, great. So you just get canceled. What's that going to do for you? Yeah.

Your life's not going to change. Yeah, just change the channel, bud. Someone else can be miserable. Yeah, I watched season one just recently of Dave, the Dave, you know, the Chappelle show, season one. And I walked through that, I was like, canceled. Every episode, I was like, that's gone. That's, it would never happen. That's everybody coming for you.

I was, I'll tell you what I thought. was fascinating was the other day I was watching gun smoke because Gail's always laughing at me because I watch that's what I watch before the show came on and said there are character depictions in this show that may not be agreeable with it I'm like it's gun smoke cares what you know it's like but you everybody's so scared now they're so worried that if you say one thing you know it's like you know and I luckily I've avoided it because because I'm just I don't I don't that game. It's like, you know, I don't want to, there's no reason for us to get into this with you, because I'm not going to play your game. You know, if you find myself offensive,

walk out. I don't care. But don't sit there and go, oh. You know, I feel like that's the logic for most people. It just doesn't seem to. I had one guy, I finally told one way, I said, man, let me ask you a question. I go, if you go to, you're watching a movie on TV and it sucks. Do you just keep watching it? Yelling at the TV? No, you change the channel. So let's change the channel. There's the door. Yeah. You know. it. Yeah.

Keep watching it and then email somebody and tweet about it. Have you had to throw quite a few people out of shows? No. Knock on wood. Because I don't interact with you. I don't say, hey, where are you from? What's your name? Bub, blah, blah.

You know, and at this level, you don't get them as much. Because the club, you know, you get the drunk. And generally, nine times out of ten, it's alcohol. It's just, it's just they've had too much. and, you know, it's, you'll get them once in a while. And I just treat them like kids. I just go, shut up. It's like, I'm not going to be cute with you.

I don't have the wiki comeback. I just like, shut up. Tell me this, the guys on the blue collar comedy tour. You're finishing the show. You go to the bar. Who shuts it down? Ron. Thank God.

I was like, if it's not Ron, we got a problem. No, no, it was. But like I said, we didn't really do it that much because we were always going. You know, it was, uh, the, uh, but yeah, I, yeah, and I would be probably second. Uh, the, but the problem, not the problem. Luckily for me, I did my abusive stuff when I was in the clubs. You know, it was, uh, I used to drink tequila like it was water. I mean, like, and the club owners loved it because I'd say, hey, can I get a shot at tequila?

And, you know, you used to, oh, yeah, and then all of a sudden, then they start buying them for you. And I'll tell you, I'm not proud of this story. but it makes me laugh. I was working in Cincinnati, Ohio, at the Funny Bone, and I got so wasted on tequila that I started doing my act as a pirate. I would have done that in by the other. I would like go, I'm like,

Ar, here's your sign. And it was, you know, it was just one of those moments and the crowd was they, they were drunk. And the next time I came in, I looked at the ad in the paper says, the pirate guy is coming back. That's awesome. People be clamoring for that.

I heard they would, maybe. Well, I think we have to talk about, unless you got some more comedy stuff. Uh, we can go E-9? No, no. What? First, we have to get to the dancing with the stars. I actually have that in my E-9, so I need to tread lightly. Yeah, this will tread lightly, but...

Okay. First off, it's 2013. Yeah. Rumor around Virginia Country Club is you kept it rather quiet for a while that it was going to happen. Uh, yeah. So here's what happened. They called, and I was going to turn it down

because I was like, man, is that where my career is at now? And Gail said, I think you ought to do this. She was, even if you're only on for a couple weeks,

you know, that's 13 million people watching that show. It was, A, one of the funnest things I've done, B, one of the most brutal things I've done. People have no idea of the physical. I lost 35 pounds,

in 13 weeks. And I didn't even sniff the diet. I need to go on that show. I see a star. It was, I tore my groin, pulled my hamstring, and had to have my knee replaced. But I will tell you this, that, yeah, I kept it quiet because, you know, those guys out there. Blue-collar guys, I mean, you're not ballroom guys, you know. Yeah, they, but so it was, we just kept moving on.

And so then, you know, once I knew that I was, I kind of was in the, because I figured out the show. It's not a dance competition. Otherwise, we would have been asked to do it. It's a popularity thing. So that's what I do. So, you know, I had Emma, this little 22-year-old British blonde bombshell. And we'd do this dance. And then I'd run over and kiss a 55-year-old woman, my wife.

And every woman in America went, see? Love that guy. Look at that. You know? And it's like, and so once I start going, and I also think that a lot of my buddies and a lot of the guys at Virginia, they watched that show like, that you would watch a NASCAR race.

They were just looking for the crash. Please mess up. Please mess up. And then when I kept moving on, then they kind of got into it. But I would tell you this, that after that, when I was on that show, when I would be doing my shows,

they would say, you know, from blue color comedy, there was a nice applause. And they'd say, and dancing with the stars, and it would just explode. People, I couldn't believe how many people watched that show.

That's crazy. And God bless you, Gail, for being, hey, babe, I'm going to go press up on this 22-year-old smoke show for a few weeks. How about this? Yeah, babe, you should do that. How about this? Taking her on the road. Because I was still working heavy.

And so I would have to take Emma with me and we'd rehearse whatever dance we had that week in the theater. And then when the people started coming in and she'd go backstage and watch TV. And, you know, wow, I didn't realize she would like, you would still keep doing your tour and everything. Oh, yeah. Because otherwise you had no time to rehearse. How many hours a day you rehearsing? You could rehearse six hours a day, which was five and a half longer than. I really wanted to say that's way longer. You had no, I'm assuming, zero dance skills leading up.

The only dance that I'd ever done was, you know, two-stepping, you know, beer in his hand, woman in the arm and go. That's really all you need. Yeah. More nervous, first dance on Dancing with the Stars or your first stand-up routine? Oh, Dancing with the Stars. Yeah? Because you know you had 13 maybe, because basically when you, it sounds like you have longer,

but when you boil it all down, you've got 24 hours to learn a dance and then do it in front of 13 million. people on TV. It's a lot of people. Yeah. And it's, uh, but yeah, I can, I can remember to this day standing back there and they go, and now dancing the foster stride. I'm like, oh, God, I go just, and I, Tony Cole, I literally wouldn't say myself, just don't be a jackass, man, just keep moving. Because that's what one of the judges told me. They said, no matter what happens, just keep moving. You know, shake your hands, do whatever, because we don't know if, you know, if you stop, then we know it's you screwed up.

there was so many times and like by the end I had a I had torn my groin doing this dance with Emma and so for the rest of the time man it was just like every move was just like a knife

and they but we did it and I was so happy I never forget Tom Bergera when we finally got eliminated in the finals said this was the happiest departure speech I've ever heard I go dude I am toast I am so done. But the thing was nice was that

Emma and I, our ages were so far apart that there was never any kind of weird. Are they getting in a little? In fact, I remember Julia I know what she was trying to say, but it just came out totally wrong. Emma and I had finished a dance and Julianne Huff

said, you know, when I watch you and Emma, it just reminds me to dancing with my daddy. And I'm like, what hell is that supposed to make my daddy? I love it. That's great. Good name of another show. Dancing with my daddy. You got to be 40 years. You've got to be on paper.

Probably want to be streaming that one. Awesome. Well, should we get to the E9? Yeah, let's do it. All right, this is nine fun questions. They're all fun with you. Oh, yeah. But we're going to learn even more about billing.

Okay. All right. We ask this to everybody. Okay. You can trade lives with anyone, dead or live for a day. Who would it be? Oh, wow. Kevin Hart.

Really? Wow, because I'm in the same industry. I have so much respect for him. He's got to do everything. He's got to do everything. The movies, his stand-up, his sales out arenas. Yeah, and he's just a nice guy. That is awesome.

He gets to do a shitload of commercials. Do a shitload of commercials. He's living in Lovita Loca, and if I could have one day of that, I'd love it. Found a big, big plane, too. Big old play. I have me a G-4. Meet the Rock. Yeah, Meet the Rock.

Yeah, how much about 20, make? Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll do a movie. Yeah, I'll do that. Cool. Right after my credit card commercial. Yeah, yeah. All right, that's a good one. No surprise by the same industry. All right. Next one. You're talking about you guys all flying in four planes, four limos, all that. So I know there was something going on in terms of in the green room. You all got like a writer. Here's what I need in the green room. Who had the longest rider of all the blue targ? Actually, we were, people were always wanting to get backstage. Can I get backstage? I go, dude, this ain't aerosmith. We literally had a plate of cube cheese and fruit. That's it for the blue collage guys? That was it. but lie. No, and we'd get Kentucky Fried Chicken to take on the plane.

Oh. I read a thing that Larry needed 50, like, Hooters style buffalo wings and a bunch of skull. Oh, that was Ron. Ron loved, Ron loved his wings. So it'd be, yeah, but I always, basic stuff. Yeah, but it wasn't like there was a table full of them. And I'll tell you that one of the coolest,

we did a show in Seattle. And the guys from Deadliest Catch, one of the guys came to show and brought us crab legs that were like three inches across. I mean, just like thick. And we chowled on crowd, like, like I'd like get some beer that night. So it's just dudes hanging out like whichever football game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

low-key. That's blue collar. That was us. It really was. And I think that's what made it successful, because we weren't what you would think. We were just guys, just like, all of us were just like amazed at what was happening and, you know, and we were digging it and we were going to ride the ride

as long as they'd let us go. Yeah, it felt just like four dudes. Like when y'all do the thing at the end, we all pulled up and just tell a joke. That felt like these are just four funny dudes bullshit. I watched one of those last night. I love the one about the doctor giving the bad news and the worst news. Oh, yeah. That's great.

Bad news is you have 24 hours. What's the worst news? I forgot to call you yesterday. So simple and so effective. That was us. Everyone can laugh. The dumbest jokes. All right.

Well, obviously, Augusta National is the Holy Grail of the golf world. What would be the Augusta National, the comedy world? Like, what is the improv venue or some venue that is just the ultimate? for a comedian to perform in. Hmm. Wow. These are hard. There's so many of them that are really good. Or maybe what was your favorite?

For me, playing the Greek. Yeah. Playing the Greek theater in L.A. We did the Universal Lamped Theater. We did the Greek Theater, and we were supposed to do the Hollywood Bowl, and I would love to have done the Hollywood Bowl. And just say that was it.

But I think for me, I really... Actually, you know what? I take that back. I would love to play the Hollywood Bowl. But one of the best shows I had during the whole tour, and Ron will back it up, was in Houston at the arena theater. It was in the round.

And I remember Ron, because I had to, because Gail had a medical emergency, and I had to, so we had to flip-flop. So I went first, because I had to get on the plane and go. And I had, it was one of those shows that just everything was hit right on the head. and Ron said, Larry said, I ain't following him.

But that was, the arena theater in Houston was one of my favorite. That was probably one of my best shows. That's awesome. Sidebar question, this is not one of the United States. If you were writing an hour, you got a show coming up hour. It has to all be original material,

like new material. How long does it take you to write it? An hour? Yeah, if you had to do an hour. Like, you're going on tour. It'd be a couple of years. Yeah, that's a long time. A couple of years, well.

Yeah, just because, I mean, I could fake it. but to really be what the level that I'd want it to be at, it'd take me a couple years to write another solid. And then go like improv, like work it out. Yeah. I'd tell you, if I could change anything about my stand-up style, I would love to be that guy that just goes on stage. Like, I think Chappelle kind of does it.

It's just free thought. You know, he just talks about. It feels like at least. Yeah, just whatever you want to talk about. That's cool. Yeah, that's how I mean. I'm just not naturally that funny. Do you like, but do you like,

wake up in the middle of the night and have ideas pop in your head, and you're like, and write that down? Once in a while, but generally, if you look at it next day, you go, nah, that blows. Perfect. Get those all the time. Yeah, yeah. It's good in the moment. All right, next one, which one, if you can remember, I know, there's been a lot of them. Which one of Jeff Foxworthy's, you might be a redneck jokes, hits closest to home for you.

Did I hear some? That hits home? Close to home? Yeah, like, that's me. I got to think about them. Probably when he said, if you've ever mowed your yard and found a, I think it's, if you've ever mowed your yard and found a car.

Yeah. You know, that would be, because I hate doing yard work. There's some of those, all my family from the south from Arkansas. There's like every, you know, every one out of three, I was like, yep. Got family? One night, I wish I could tell you all these, but one night, it's a great teaser. One night we were backstage and just having a blast.

And we started to come up with here, with you might be a redneck. could never ever do and some of them were pretty wild i can imagine i wish we get here that's the thing i know you get we're off there out there a couple okay perfect let's just imagine going back to the blue collar times are a little hard you're pinching pennies you guys have to room together okay hotel's only got one bed though only rooms with one bed you get to pick who you're going to room with jeff ron or larry probably jeff sidebar who would you least want to room with not because of personality-wise probably Larry

because he doesn't sleep okay really Larry is like one of those guys he'll stay up till 3, 4 o'clock in the morning watching movies and that would drive me crazy perfect it would have been a great mini tour roommate for me yeah I'm gonna stay up till 3-4 I got a new doc

checking out before you got into comedy you're out of college you were working as a DJ in Dallas correct yeah well yeah did you have a name yeah what was it It was Bill Dugan. Bill Dugan.

Where the Dugan come from? I don't know. It just sounded good? Yeah, Duggy. Duggy? Is that what they called me? E.J. Duggy?

Hey, doogie, play the hensy, Bob. DJ Duggy. I thought, I didn't know if you have one. I would be like, all right, hey, I'm Bill Duggan, and here's a little Aerosmith. Love it. What was the name of the club in Dallas? It was, uh, the Cafe Dallas. Cafe Dallas.

Yeah, which was, I don't even know if that was there. I don't think that was there. There was a couple nights I did it at the fair. Okay. Which was, yeah, yeah.

I know what the fair is. The cafe went downhill ever since the day. Well, the cafe Dallas was during the disco. That was a great club to work. That's like the golden era. Yeah, it was.

There was nights I don't even remember, you know, they're just gone in the, you're good DJ. Sounds like my Saturdays. You're a good DJ. All right. We mentioned you used to play at Virginia Country Club out in California.

True or false, the people that own the house down the right side of 18 there had to file a restraining order to you because you kept trespassing on their lawn. False. There was no restraining order, but they asked me not to go out on the fence to get my balls. I heard your ball might have hit their house a few times. A few times, yeah. And it was amazing because it was gigantic trees, but somehow I had that ball that would find it. And they also had a pool.

And I was like, I was always afraid I was going to. That was, I'll tell you what, that was a hole that I watched Luke List stand at the very back of the tips and put it on that green with like an iron. That boy can move it. Oh, I love Lou. I played with him in the Greenville, BMW. Yeah. And what a. They're about effortless.

Yeah, effort. Beautiful. And I tell you what, this is when I fell in love with Luke List. So I had this caddies. They have these caddies that show up and they're just journeymen, you know. So I got this guy, and he's all got, you know, he's trying to be a fluff wannabe. And so, he had this big mustache and stuff. And, you know, he thought he knew all about golf.

And I'm playing with Luke. And Luke's, you know, trying to make the cut. And it was long with me because we got to play on the weekend. And I had about an eight-foot putt to make the cut. And the catty goes, all right, man. And I don't miss it. And Luke goes, what the? And just goes ballistic.

He goes, you don't never tell your golfer, don't miss a put. You say, let's do it, get a solid stroke. He went on for five minutes, and this guy's backing up, and I'm like, yeah, Luke, I like you. Yeah, that boy, Luke. Yeah. Show so some. Lay down the law. Yeah, but, yeah, Luke's a great.

He's just such a, God, I've never seen anybody hit a ball like that. The golf swing is one of the most fun to watch on the PJs. Oh, but I did hear, I did hear, he used to pepper that house down the right. I did pepper that house. You did pepper that house on the right side of a golf course. You get what you get. Who built on the golf course, right? I built it on a runway and a plane lands on my home, and they're not going to be surprised.

Well, there's a planes land in there. Yeah, exactly. All right, going back to dancing with the stars, okay? Dig back into that. You send a young woman home, very well liked around the US. Her name was Snookie. Okay? Nicole.

Yeah, Nicole, exactly. Do you think you're the first guy to ever since Snooky home, not in an Uber? God. See where I'm going with that? That's good. No. Because, no, I have to be, I would love to bash. But, Nick, I actually went in when I, I was all ready to not like her.

She could be one of the sweetest, nicest little girls you ever met in your life. It's all play. Yeah, reality ain't. Yeah, that's a great question, though. Yeah, yeah, no. She's used to going home. Normally there's, you know, a civic pulls up to the front door. She was great.

That's great. All right, winks down dance with the stars for the last one. Can you please tell us which one of those fancy dance moves you performed down Woody Austin's line at the Disney one year? Do you show Woodrow something?

I think that would have been the Fox Drive. I heard he was really impressed. Woody was a tough nut to crack, man. I don't ever see I don't ever see Woody just being giddy. No. He's as advertised. Yeah, but you know what?

We had a great time together. We had a blast. So what I'd tell it, though? Well, because what I, you know, the thing is, you know, you're sitting on the range with these guys who this is their life. And they can, they don't, professionals don't, you don't, they don't have that first couple of duff balls, you know, where you just dig the club in. And so I had a couple of those and would he goes, so this is who I'm playing with. I go, that's right. And I just started firing back at him.

And that's what he wanted. you know, if I'd have been mousy about it, he'd have, but I just said, I said, well, I said, yeah, I said, that's it. I said, I guess that's you. You're the old guy and I'm the bad golfer, so we ought to just leave now. We both got screwed. And he started laughing. He goes, yeah, all right, you can play.

Dude, he is unbelievable. Yeah. He's an interesting one to play with. Now, see, now, you guys have got to play. Somebody asked me this question, and they asked us to a lot of people, but who would you guys's fantasy force them be? You get three other guys. this is going to sound like I'm catering

I actually just did a podcast where they asked me this doesn't sound like I'm catering to you just because you're a comic and it was on but my three were I picked my favorite performer of all time Jamie Fox I think the most talented dude in entertainment Larry David just one of the

I'd sign up to watch him read the ABCs if he was doing it and my favorite comic right now is Ricky Jervais and that was the three answers so it sounds like no that's great that's like I've seen all the golf stuff I mean I'll pray with would I want Tiger in there sure but I've you know of course

that's what everyone's answer I've seen the golf stuff I'd rather see like to see mine was actually this guy Cole of shit of anyone Colt Peter Jacobson because he just seems like it'd be a fun day

great he is yeah and the who is the third one there was a golf guy yeah funny funny funny guy

Farity yes McCourt Farity Ferity yeah I think those three would be that would be a fun we'd have a time that'd be good oh my God not as good as Woody

not as good as Woody not as good as Woody. I was good as Woody, though. But close. I did one of my favorite ferity lines of all time was, they were talking about the speed of golf. And he said, if four hours of golf is too much for you, maybe you need new friends. That is true.

That is the most accurate statement I could ever hear in my life. That is great. Well, Bill, this has been a treat for me. I always say that the good ones always go by too fast. I know. We could do this for hours, but we really appreciate it coming in. If you ever need to kind of drop in, just let me know. Perfect.

Yeah. That's inked. That's binding. That's beautiful. Thanks, ma'am. Thanks guys. Bill, dude. Have a great time.

Hey, keep it between the ropes. Well, that was Bill Ingval on golf subpar. And that interview was brought to you by Callaway. Did you know major champions John Robb and Phil Mickelson, as well as myself, both play the Callaway ChromeSoft X. Chrome Soft X is incredible through the wind, but still workable. Plus, it delivers amazing green side action. This thing is soft. It goes forever.

There's no better ball on the planet. The standard Chrome Soft offers soft feel and short game control. And the new Chrome Soft XLS is for players who prefer the. the firmest feel and lower spin on full shots. ChromeSoft isn't just better for major champions. It's better for everyone. Find your Chrome Soft at CallawayGoff.com slash Chrome Soft.

All right, Slees. Let's break down this Bill Ingval interview. First off, he started off and he kind of became very, he didn't have much credit to his interview, considering he said that I bomb it right out of the gate when we played together down at Disney. Go ahead. That answers the question I get from some people sometimes.

Do you guys pay these guys to come on your show? That answer, yes, we pay him a shitload because the guy came out first thing and said, The Colt was just bombing it. And I was like, okay. I was like, Bill, make me look good, but that's a little much. We got to keep it believable. It's like, he was hitting it really nicely.

But, I mean, what a fun guy to talk to who loves golf. You got to play with them, obsessed with it, along with Larry the cable guy. I was surprised to hear that they don't get to play a lot of, I would think, like, that type of a job would be a great job for golf. You know what I mean, going out and playing golf. You're traveling all these different places. You're one quick phone call away. Boom, a pop out in the afternoon, go do the show at night. But it sounds like they're just in and out and not a whole lot of golf being played.

Yeah, I'm with you. I mean, most of the time when they were doing the blue collar, they were flying private around. Like you said, finish the show, get on the bird, fly somewhere. Like Darius Rucker, everywhere he goes. He goes to sleep after his show, tour bus wakes up in the parking lot of a golf course and he tees it up. Yeah, I feel like that'd be the way to go. I was a little bit surprised with you, but I had so much fun. Sometimes those pro-ams, you know, it all depends on your partner.

You get stuck with a bad one. You're in for a long day. Well, Bill Invol was just incredible. We laughed the whole time around. We played with John Malinger, had so much fun. And we actually played really well. Our name was at the top of the leaderboard. It's the same for the pros with the amateurs.

Amateurs can get shit pros that don't engage, don't talk. It's a death march out there. It's no fun. It could be the same side on the other side. But yeah, if you sign up and you see Bill Engvalt next to your name, like, okay, this is going to be a pretty good one. Sounds like you might want his wife to be your partner, though. She's got more game than he does. No shit, right?

That's got to be a tough pill to swallow as a man who loves golf when you go out there and get destroyed by your wife every single time. But no shame in that, I guess. She sounds like a hell of a stick. Yeah, she has two hole and ones to his one. Club champion all over the joint. She's got, and she's a big fan of birdie juice. Hello. That's kind of their deal.

Any birdie in their group, when his wife's out playing, they take a shot and they call it birdie juice. Love this woman. Love this woman. Also, wanted to make sure, I don't know if he knew where to go with the snooky question at the end. I was like, are you the only guy that's not in an Uber? He's like, kind of just thought about it for a minute.

I was like, I don't know. I didn't know where he would go with that, but it was fun to ask. I thought one thing that was real interesting because I knew you, I knew you're going to ask him about where comedy is today. Yeah. And like, is it being ruined? And he said he thinks it's going to make a comeback because the world needs laughter right now. And I was a little surprised by that answer.

Yeah, I would like to ask guys that are in that world about it because, I mean, as you know, even in podcast and whatever, radio, you say one thing, even if it's just totally, you know, a throwaway comment or whatever. There's somebody that's going to be offended by everything out there. And it's a tough time to be a comic because for a long time, they were the guys that were pushing that envelope and saying the unpopular thing. And now it's like you can't, you know, the guys are coming for your throat at that. Look at Dave Chappelle. I mean, the biggest comic in the world right now. And he's not even exempt from it. So their show, the blue card guy, is a little different.

It's pretty clean. It's like you could bring pretty much anybody to that show and you're not going to walk away being offended. So there's a little bit different. But just want to get his perspective on where it stands as a whole. Because I think it's a tough time. But I do think you're going to see the pendulum swing back the other way and people are just saying, screw this, say whatever you want.

I hope so. Because we need some laughter in the world right now. And Bill Ingval was one of the best to ever do it. Had so much fun with him. He'll be back. I mean, he could have talked for four hours it felt like. Yeah, he said he wants to just, have me on whenever. We'll just shoot the shit about golf.

What he's got going on? He's a blast. Well, it was a blast with him. I'll tell you what else has been about Blastleys is our fan duel picks. We each picked the same game parley last week. Yours hit. Hello. I told you.

In the Chief's game, yours actually ended up hitting unbelievable congratulations. I did three with the Dallas Cowboys. Two of the three hit, lost by a point in a half in the second half. Standard parley situation. First two legs hit. All you're going to need is that third one, and it just seems like the odds go just through the basement at that point. But yeah, got a hitter. Got a hitter on that KC game. It's getting some nice messages. Congratulations to anyone who piled on that. But we're running hot right now,

dude. Running hot. And what I tell you? I think that was your first game. That was my first one. That was my first one. That's real, in it. They're really, really cool. It's fun. It's fun. Fanduel does it. That's why they're the best sports book in the world. And he's making a list. He's checking it twice. He's giving away up to seven million in gifts over seven days on Fandle. That's right. Our man, Santa Barclay, Sir Charles is back. And Charles Barkley is giving away more than ever. This holiday season through Fandol Sportsbook. New and exciting users, open up the Fandol Sportsbook app every day between December 21st

and December 27th for a new gift from St. Chuck. I mean, how good is that? St. Chuck. Don't you just imagine that jolly fella in a Santa suit right now? St. Chuck, Santa Barclay. Barclays. He's got a lot of different names, but he's giving it out. He's dishing it.

He's checking that list, and it's time to get paid. A lot of money to be handed out this week during the holidays where you got your same game parades, which we are very... accustomed to. You got your daily odds boost. I mean, you can pick a day that you want, excuse me, you can pick a team that you think will win over Christmas Day, the weekend, etc. There's so many different ways to get paid. And these boosts, by the way, I mentioned same game parleyes a lot. The boost is nice too. There was a lot of those that pay this last week. Very generous. That's what Fandle is. They're generous around the holidays.

It's America's number one sports book. It's the number one destination for NBA and NFL betting. You get your money in as little as two hours. It's so safe and easy. There's no other app, in my opinion you should use than the Fanduil Sportsbook. All right, let's give them a little Christmas cash. Here we go. We're going to each pick a game that we like between December 21st,

December 27th. Okay, this might piss some people off here in the valley where we're located. But I was very, very high on the Cardinals and the Suns. Sports was back in the Valley. People were going crazy. But the Cardinals are slipping a little bit, bud.

I know. It's hard to watch. I was at the game against the Rams on Monday night when they couldn't get it done. And then this past weekend against the Detroit Lions. I mean, that was just borderline.

That was tough to watch. You win the game, you lock up a playoff spot, everything's good, and you go up there against arguably the worst team in the NFL, and you just lay an egg. So I don't see that turning around in a short amount of time. I think they're in a little rough one, and they're going against one of the hottest teams in the NFL on Christmas Day, and the Indianapolis Colts are getting two points.

They played unbelievable against the Patriots the other night. I think they're rolling. Jonathan Taylor, arguably up there for MVP of the league. MVP, in my opinion. So I'm rolling with the Indianapolis Colts plus two on Christmas Day. I almost went with the cards on this because I was like, dude, they can't keep sucking. They're going to be back. One of us would have won, absolutely. But then I'll tell you this, watching HBO Hard Knocks, like what's it called midseason? And it's with the Colts. Whoever is on Hard Knocks, I immediately like automatically think that they're good.

And that's what it's happening with. Well, they are good. But it's actually happening right now. John the Taylor is an absolute animal. But yeah, hopefully the cards turn this thing right. Let's just secure a playoff spot, and then we'll figure out the rest. Get some people back healthy, get D-Hop back. I don't know if he's coming back. Hopefully for the playoffs they're saying, but who knows. All right, so you're going against the hometown Cardinals there. No offense to all of our local listeners here.

I'm going to college. I'm going to sleazy Claus giving out another one who's going to be on college ball here, okay? My bread and butter, as you know, I'll be betting virtually every single game on the slate for the next couple weeks. I'm going with the big boys, though, here, okay? We got Georgia and Michigan, Clash of the Titans, college football playoffs, over under here at Colt, 44 and a half. Okay, so we need less than 45 points in this game. If you remember, Georgia got lit up a little bit in that SEC championship game.

Michigan, meanwhile, looking really good, but what do they like to do? Pound the Rock. They like to run it. Georgia doesn't give a whole lot of rushing yards, typically. All season, they've been beast, and I just think this game with the lights, the pressure, I think it's a slow, grind-it-out game. Under 45 Georgia versus Michigan. Let's get paid on that.

All right, I got the Colts. You've got under Michigan, Georgia. everybody go to Fandul Sportsbook download Get Amongst it. New to Fandul Sportsbook? Just sign up with promo code subpar to get your first bet risk free up to $1,000 and make every moment better this holiday season.

That's promo code subpar. Don't forget to check the Fandul's sportsbook app every day from December 21st to the 27th to see what Santa Barclay brought you. Sir Charles. I mean, what a guy. All right. Must be 21 years old or present in Arizona, Connecticut or New Jersey.

Void where prohibited. Restrictions and Wager requirements apply. See terms at fandul.com. Gambling problem? call 1-800 Next Step or text Next Step to 533442 in Arizona or 1-88-78-8-9-77-7-7 or visit ccpg.org backslash chat in Connecticut or 1-800 gambler or visit fanduel.com backslash RG in New Jersey. Sleeze, did it. To you and all of our loyal listeners out there, Merry Christmas, happy holidays.

It's going to be a great one. I hope everybody makes a lot of money with FanDuel. And thank you to all of us for listening. If you need some last-minute Christmas gifts, go to the golf.com pro shop. Birdie Juice. This stuff is absolutely incredible. It'll look great on everyone for the holiday season. Merry Christmas. We'll talk to you on the next golf subpar.