Subpar - Mark Grace Interview: Playing the Pebble Beach Pro-Am with Bill Murray, Lessons he learned his first time at Augusta National

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

On this week's episode of GOLF's Subpar, World Series Champion Mark Grace joins former PGA Tour pro Colt Knost and jicky jack legend Drew Stoltz for an exclusive, in-studio, interview. The 3-time MLB All-Star talks playing the Pebble Beach Pro-Am with Bill Murray, the lessons he learned playing Augusta National for the first time and what it was like watching Michael Jordan play blackjack.   Subpar Podcast: https://linktr.ee/Golf1271 Birdie Juice Merch: https://proshop.golf.com/collections/birdie-juice-collection --------------- The TAG Heuer Connected Calibre E4, together with the TAG Heuer Golf app, is the ultimate companion for on and off the golf course; designed for performance, ready for everyday life. Visit https://tagheuer.com/golf to learn more. Thanks to our official sponsor Dewar's. Make sure to check out their page on Reserve Bar today: https://www.reservebar.com/collections/house-of-dewars This week's episode is presented by FanDuel Sportsbook. If you've never tried FanDuel Sportsbook, what are you waiting for? Go to https://www.fanduel.com/subpar or download the FanDuel Sportsbook app to get started. Be sure to sign up with promo code SUBPAR so they know we sent you. Disclaimer: 21+ and present in AZ, CO, CT, IA, IL, NJ, NY, or WY. 1st online real money wager only. $10 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non-withdrawable site credit that expires 14 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See full terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 (AZ), Call 1-800-522-4700 (CO), 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-GAMBLER or visit FanDuel.com/RG (NJ, IA, IL), 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY(467369) (NY), or 1-800-522-4700 (WY).

Hello world, welcome back to golf subpar. Colt knows Drew Stoltz. You might notice if you're watching on YouTube, we're in a little bit of a different studio. Having a little changes made to the studio, Sleas. A little construction. We're ramping that thing up a bit. This feels right, though, conference room, big decisions.

That's what we do. We make them. Very good point. You know what I mean? IPOs, stock exchanges, all that stuff. All the ends and outs. But a very exciting week in the game of golf, Jordan Speeth picks up his 13th PGA Tour win,

which we'll get to in a second. We also got some other exciting news. to get to. We got a new sponsor, Slice. Yes, the boys over at Tag Heuer. Shout out to them. Bring your golf rounds to the next level. Are you passionate about golf? Well, Tag Heuer is setting a new dimension in watchmaking through cutting edge technology with the newly released Connected Calibur E4 Golf Edition, Swing Detection and Shot Distance Tracking, Interactive Maps, Smart Scorecard. The Tag Heuer Connected Calibur E4 is the high-performing companion to any golfer who wants to take their game to the next level. The Tag Hewer connected caliber E4, together with

the Tag Hewer Golf app is the ultimate companion for on and off the golf course designed for performance ready for everyday life. Visit taghewer.com slash golf to learn more. It's like having a track man on your wrist. Then you go to the bar and you got a tag on your wrist. What's better than that? It's incredible. We need a little sleazy tracking device put in there. Find me when I'm out there. I get lost. AIDD kicks in a little bit. Hey guys. How you doing? But go pick up your tag here. You got to have something nice on your wrist. Got to have a piece at all the time. Mine's empty at the moment. As I don't have one right now, but I will.

Mine's empty. It's available. Okay. All right. Let's get to Jordan Speeith and the RBC Heritage out there at Harbortown. I was on the call. Had Jordan Spee's group Sunday. And I mean, has there ever been a more backdoor win?

When he finished on the 72nd, I was like, that's an awesome finish. That's going to be just short. That's probably one shy. Lowry Pars-in. He's got this thing done. It looked like his at the moment. But there's tons of people right there. You got to figure one or two of them are making a birdie,

a couple birdies coming in and then at best i thought this is a three-way four-way playoff if it's a piece of a playoff at all there's going to be multiple guys in it sure enough eric you know what happens happens can't lay's the only one that makes a move birdies is 71st and then all of a sudden playoff with one guy at that point i was like this is just a jordan speed moment this is going to be the one of you there was there was quite a few guys that let it get away obviously Shane lowry when he chipped it in the water on 14 sept straca making bogey from the middle of the fairway i mean harold varner had a number of chances but i got this from one of the gambling guys out there as we were getting ready for the playoff,

and I wish I would have seen it, so I could have set it on air. But Jordan Spieth had a 0.8% win probability when he stood on the 18th T in regulation. Okay. When he finished, it was up to 5.7%. Okay. Still not high.

Well, when he made the birdie on 18, he was won back at the time, and then right up that's when Lowry made the double. But 5.7, you could have made some nice cash on that if you'd have thrown a little live action in over at Fandall. Does that happen to anyone but Jordan? I feel like the star, a line some way he works his way in there he coming off the little oopsie daisy on the final

hole of the third round there and you're like well it's just those are things you can't do and still win golf tournaments sure enough jordan gets it done and he got it done dude without his superpower like the putter the short game was awesome all week who's holding bunker shots all over the place it felt like but how about this little stats speaking of stats so he finished the week minus 2.55 strokes gained putting so he's losing that is the worst strokes gained on the putting green for a winner since 2009 our game guy Sean O'Hare. No surprise.

Sean O'Hare can win in public shit. Price is of battling that shower injury at the time, so understandable. Wrist was probably acting up that week, you know what I mean? But no, Jordan ended up getting it done. It was awesome. First win as a father. Little Sammy was there. I got to hang out with the family all week, which we'll get to here in a little bit.

Did you tell them, oh my God. You are the chosen one. Yes. I was like, this kid has no idea. Touch me. Touch me. Let me tell you what TSA and security lines are like. You know how many ounces you need on a carryout?

You'll never need to know, bud. Don't worry. But what I mean, it's great for golf when Jordan Speets playing well. I mean, he is a guy that everyone follows. He's an it factor. You know, a lot of people were hating on me, which I don't make the decisions. They were hating on me that I was following Jordan Speeth on Sunday because, you know, He's a son of a bitch you are.

He made a couple bogeys there early and he's two back. All of a sudden, there's all these guys around it. They're like, are you really going to stay with him? I'm like, I just go where I'm told. And lo and behold, good thing I did because he's the man who ended up having the trope. If he's anywhere near on a Sunday, just hang around, dude. There's going to be a bunker shot. At this point, you'd rather have a 35-foot look uphill on the greens or a relatively easy bunker shot, straightforward green to work with?

Because I don't think I can remember anybody that I've watched in a long time where when he has a straightforward bunker shot, I'm like, this is probably going to take a look. Well, I think Nant said he's before the win this week. He had won 12 times and two of them withhold bunker shots. Yeah, it's just like, I just started and it was happening over and over this week. I was like, and the one on 18, even with the messed up stance left foot out, I was like, with that lie. I was like, this thing's cruising up there somewhere tight. There's no way there's anything but four, maybe three. It is time for the doers' cheers moment of the week, which it's going to be Jordan Speeith.

But first, we've got to tell you that we are proud to announce that Doers is the presenting sponsor of subpar in the official Scotch Whiskey of the 12th, U.S. Open at the Country Club in Brookline, Massachusetts. Discover Doers' remarkable lineup of Scotch Whiskeys, most notably their 12, 15, and 19-year-old, limited champions edition, developed in partnership with the USGA. I'm pretty sure our guy last week, Michael Allen, tried all those. Without question. Doers is the perfect after-round indulgence, extraordinarily smooth yet complex. Enjoy Doers, double-aged scotch whiskeys, any way you like.

Be it neat on the rocks, any whiskey highball with a twist or a classic old-fashioned. Like I said, it is time for the Dewers' Cheers moment of the week. And we're going to go back to Saturday, RBC Heritage. Here he is, Jordan Speath, which 99.9% of you listening to home probably pick this put up up after he missed as a 12-foot birdie put. They said 18 inches. I think that was stretching it a little bit. Every inch counts. kind of one hands it kind of one foot slaps it or slapy taps it in i had dinner with him that night

go to the house and it was one of those ones it was um him and his wife sammy jston thomas and myself and jt's parents and it was one of those ones you're just going to let just jordan bring it up right you're not going to bring it up and so it was getting towards the end of the night and he's like man i just cannot believe i blacked out over that little put and justin smart ass goes which one talk about it and he's like and that's when annie he gave annie a lot of credit and he chimed in he said tomorrow every little put just take five seconds count to five before you go in and hit it and he said he did that and ended up working really well he still didn't put that great but he didn't miss any little ones but for him to bounce back i thought was really incredible wives are coming up

clutch these days in the pet talks right now and how about did you see the when they slid the jacket on him at the end they announced him as justin spieth so uh that will only never die if you're justin thomas If he had to be watching that, like, thank you, thank you, big fella up there for blessing me with this, because that's going to linger for forever. Well, Justin did tweet. He said, I want to thank everyone for my 35th place finish. Thanks, guys.

Thanks for the jacket. But, man, it just shows you how mature Jordan's beef is. I mean, at dinner that night, he was like, man, if I lose by one, like, I'm going to do. I was thinking that was going to happen. When he finished, I was like, he's one shy, for sure. Somebody's getting to 14. There's too many guys out there close. They got the par five coming in.

At best, like I said, I think it grabs a piece of a big playoff. No. All right. Well, let's get to our guest this week because he is an absolute beauty once again. We're two for two with just absolute degenerates. They're hilarious, a lot of fun. This is an extremely long interview. We're not even going to tell you anything about it. Here's the legend, Mark Grace on golf subpar. If he's not your favorite baseball player already, get ready to have a new one because this dude right here is the man. He's a World Series champ, three-time All-Star, four-time Golden Glover. The man himself, Mark Grace. How are you, buddy? I'm doing well, Stoltsy. How are you, pal?

I'm fantastic. Good to be with you again. What's going on, Cole? Thank you so much for having me. I was telling you guys out in the parking lot. I see how I've done a little due diligence. And you guys are, you guys are killing it on this podcast.

Congratulations. And you also have officially made me a little nervous. Oh, wow. Wow. That's the biggest compliment you could get. You even brought your own notes. I did. I did.

I don't want to miss out our good story. Our first guest ever bring notes in. Yeah. Comey, I feel like, was a guy that would probably prep like that. well hopefully who Commodore Mike he's a former hockey player

former hockey player yeah he's a member at the rock is he yeah I haven't played with him he only plays with good players I'm sure y'all would have a good time together I promise I would actually be I do love hockey players that should be an arranged marriage right there y'all would get along just fine well before we get to the baseball I think we should start at golf because I think there's

much fewer stories in the in the golf world for you but seven handicap right whisper out yeah yeah I'm a guy that'll shoot anywhere on good days. It'll be high 70s. On average days, it'll be in the low 80s. But you know, you guys have forgotten more about golf than I'll ever know. But I love the game.

I love playing. And as I told you earlier, I'll hit some shots where you'll be like, yeah, you know, Gracie's got some game. And I'll also hit some shots where you'll be like, what the fuck is he out here for? Yeah. Yeah. And that's been my game for about the. the last 15 years and and I'm okay with it.

So he's got to see it up close and personal. I saw the entire spectrum on the first two holes of the member, remember last week, I'm put with my brother. I'm like, so we're getting Gracie in the third match in the afternoon. This could either be the best time in the world to get him or the worst time in the world to get him. I don't know. And he goes out on the first hole, a couple good swings. I think he makes four for three where a quick one down is like shit, it's the worst time to get him.

Second hole, part three playing like 170, he gets up first and I'm not shitting you. How far behind the ball? I mean, it was seven inch. It was a seven iron. It was a seven iron. And it was at least, contact was at least seven inches behind the ball. Just seven? The tee didn't move.

The divvitt was like seven inches behind it. It was almost impressive. The ball, you know, back in the old days, the old dick out rule. It was, it was, we almost had it. Fortunately, there's no ladies' teas at Whisper Rock. That's good point. So I didn't have to. Right into the curb of the cart path and popped up in there and it netted went six yards maybe.

I put it in my pocket and said, let's go. Bad caddy and he didn't tell you it was six yards to cover the cart path. I know. That was a shit move. But you've got to do some pretty cool things in the game of golf because of your baseball career. One being playing the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am, alongside Bill Murray, Jeff Sleumann, and Scott Simpson. Former U.S. Opener. Eight times, correct?

Seven or eight times, maybe more. I'm not sure. Did you ever make the cut? I actually, yes, plenty of times. And I actually got most valuable amateur. Wow. When you're in the early 90s, I got most valuable amateur. I was playing.

Do you remember a player named David Edwards? Yeah. Okay, David Edwards and I were put together before Sleman and I got together, but David missed the cut that year. And David and I as a team on Sunday, he basically is picking up his ball. That's a nightmare for a problem. And I knew that. Your team makes the cut and you don't.

Brutal. Colt, I knew that. And I could tell he had about as much. much in that Sunday round as I did in going to the dentist's office. And I mean, but I had a good day. And he actually, so anyway, I finished runner up to Payne Stewart and his brother. Payne Stewart and his brother were a team. They want to beat us, beat me and David Edwards by one stroke.

And David missed the cut. Wow. So I used to be a pretty good golfer. Well, you got to play alongside Bill Murray. I mean, first, him being the big of Cubs fan as he is. Yeah. I'm sure y'all had a great relationship. The only reason I got invited was because Bill.

Yeah. You know, they're not, hey, you know, the Pebble Beach people are, oh, we got to make sure we get Mark Grayson this thing. No, Bill went to bat for me. Got me in there. And, you know, when you're with Bill for a week, I mean, you're invited to all the big shop parties. your your galleries are bigger than tigers were.

You know, and Nicholas was even playing back in the early 90s, you know, in that tournament. And the gal, now mind you, Bill's galleries are huge, but, you know, Bill's a funny guy. So, so everybody, you know, you're, you've got a three-footer for, you know, that's important. And right when you're taking your last look at you, hey, Bill, gunga-la-gunga, you know. Or hey, Bill, you got to give her the Aunt Jemima treatment. Like people are always screaming out at Bill. And Bill's one of those guys. He didn't have to even say anything.

And people will laugh, you know, especially up there at Pebble Beach. So like I said, he just, he abuses people up there. Like just lets him have it with his wit and his humor and how quick he is. You know, hey, Bill, how about an honest. for an old lady and he'll go over there and he'll look down and he's like my god you are old aren't you like how old are you a million jeez like he just and but everybody just loves them you know they they don't they don't take offense to it and it was and and you get to play you know that was back when poppy hills was part of the rotation and uh you know i i listened to all the pros bitch about that

about that course, but it seemed plenty good to me. Now, one last story about this. So you guys remember number one at Poppy Hills, right? Well, they've redone it, but I played Poppy. I don't remember what it was going to be way back, though. It's a pretty, it's a pretty semi-lengthy par four that goes to the right. You know, you drive it out there, dogleg right. Now, they've changed it.

It might be different than I'm older than you, Colt. So it's kind of, it's a semi-tight drive. You don't hit drive, right. So I had a three wood. And I miss it a little bit just into the rough on the left. Now, if you miss it left, your second shot, because it's a dog leg right, if you miss it a little bit left, your second shot's a little further. You guys obviously know, so I've got like $195 to the pin.

And I yank out of four and it's a downhill, a little bit of a downhill shot and just happen to hit one on the screws. See, I'm one of those guys. I always take one more club and play for the misset. You can help out a lot of people. That's a veteran point. Yeah, thank you. I've been told that a lot.

So I happen to nail one, you know, right in the sweet spot. And I'm looking at it. And it is, it's looking good. It's a good looking shot. I'm like, my caddies go, oh, man, be right, be right. You guys know Bill Murray crowds and Pebble Beach crowds. There's people sitting around the green. Well, I fly the green by, in the pens in the back,

I fly the green by about, you know, 15 feet long of the pen fly it. and it's into the crowd. And I have hit somebody. Bang. And the good news is it kind of kept the ball right here. But so I get up there. I get up there and I see it. And there's this, this woman she's crying.

Oh, God. And I have hit her. First hole. Yeah. And I've hit her in the ankle. I've hit her in the ankle. Come to find out, it was the chairman of AT&T's wife. And that was the big sponsor of the,

So I just was basically like, well, I'm playing my last round here at Pebble Beach. And I'm done, well, anyway, get invited that night to a party with Bill. And the chairman of AT&T and his wife are there and she's wearing a freaking boot. Oh, she's wearing a walking boot. And I'm just like, oh, God. Make me feel worse. I'm done. Yeah.

So if I'm around folks, you know, stay in your house, please. Don't get hurt out there. The chairman's wife. Of all the people. All the first hole, you've got to be rattled his shit the rest around. I couldn't hit some fat bastard or anything like that. Or just a guy, maybe.

I hit a really important lady, exactly. The most important lady on property. I'll hit her on the one good four iron you ever hit on property. Exactly. That's beautiful. To flush it, yeah. Yeah. Well, you obviously played pebble.

You've played a number of great places, including Augusta National. Right. I heard you had quite the adventure your first time there. First hole, maybe with the caddy. Oh, you know that story, huh? This is interesting. We do our homework here at the summer. First old debacle.

Now, mind you, my first time I've ever been to Augusta National, you know, my heart was beating out of my chest, just driving up through there. And then the back in the early 90s, maybe even late 80s, whenever it was, I think it was about 1990, you know, times were different. You know, it was still, you know, it was still, you know, still every caddy on the on the on the was African America and you know every

locker room attendant and every you know anybody that worked there was was African American so on the first hole and my my caddy is a guy name I think his name was Johnny and he was he was a middle-aged gentleman he was probably in his 50s now I'm in my 20s at this time and I you know you know number one at Augusta got it got it on the green and two and I've got about a 30-footer and like I said you guys know and I'm like I'm like Johnny I've got I've got this about a cup out on the left 30-footer and he says Mr. Grace goes you put that ball a cup out you're going off the green I'm played plenty of golf this time I know how to read a green yeah I'm like well Johnny are you

sure about that and he says he looks at me with this stern look and he says mr grace i've been here an awful long time and i said and i knew that because his claim to fame was he carried gay brewers bag when gay brewer won the 67 masters so he has been so he was like a god out there he definitely knows more than you he's got thank you you got the best dude on property so and he and he goes way up you know he goes mr grace you have to put this ball at appear. And to the point where I have to turn my back to the hole in the very first hole I'm playing at Augustine Nash. I've heard about these greens, but now I'm actually going to have to experience them. And I putted the ball where he told me to put it and I didn't see it, guys.

I didn't see it. There was this subtle something in this green that started taking my ball down to the hole, trickle, trickle, down to the hole, down to the hole. And I put it right where he told me. And I mean, eight, ten inches away, tapped him. my par and I was just like Johnny I'm never going to argue with you again I didn't see that guys it was my read was probably 25 feet that's it off so so now he told me mr. grace now drop one and put one a a cup out see what happens sure enough felt like I put a pretty good stroke on it and this other subtle hill that I didn't see and you know number one if it goes off the green you're going 40 yards down.

And so by listening to him, I made a four. If I would have putted it where I thought, you might still be there. Easily making six. And then on top of that, I said, okay, I'll never argue with. And then he made me go get the ball. That's fair.

That's fair. He made me walk out of there and get the ball. Well, if I don't know that, I would have never dropped another ball and putted a cup out. How many times you played there? Probably four or five. Yeah.

Best score? Best score was the first score. and I shot 80. That's when you had Johnny. Thanks, Johnny. Johnny, he could have been 82. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

But Buried 18 on the first day. And on number 17, I yank one into the trees on the right. And Johnny is over there with me and he says, now Mr. Gracie goes, I know that guests are not supposed to tip out. here. He goes, but, you know, I got seven grandkids and, you know, anything you could do, I'd be much obliged. So I, I yanked my wallet out and I got a couple of C-notes in there and I take a C-note out and I'm trying to hide, you know, oh God, I'm just got it behind my back. Here, take it, Johnny, for Christ's sick. So he takes it. And I'm just like, man, you know,

I just felt good about myself, you know, giving my catty, you know, illegal $100. So now 18 comes, and I've hit it in the fairway. The other guests that I'm playing with, who was a teammate of mine, his name was Rick Wilkins. He had hit it in the right trees on 18, and we're waiting on him, and all this ball kind of, he waxed it out there. And I was waiting on him, and now he comes out of the, he comes out of the woods, and we're walking up to our, to our balls. And he's like, he's like, Grace, you're not going to believe this. He goes, I was over in the woods, and my caddy came up there. He had a different caddy.

He goes, my caddy came up to me, said he had seven grandkids and all that. And I didn't know what to do. Man, they're running a racket up there. And I fell for it. I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. And like I said, I'm sure you've had the Augusta National caddies, but, but boy, they worked me well. That's right. That is good.

Sweet till he gets it in the shit. Into the trees, you got a little cover going there. Tell him you got seven grandkids. Tell them about the seven grandkids. That's smart. Johnny knew what he was doing. He got an extra hundo. So you played Augusta when you're in your 20, so you were clearly playing where you were in the big.

Did you get to play when you were trying, like some pitchers bring their clubs and stuff like that. Were you ever playing on the road or in Chicago? Not very much, Dolsey, because, well, on the road, sometimes, if you had an off day, because I was an everyday guy. And pitchers, they get four, you know, especially starters, they get four days off. They can take their club. And in Chicago, with the Cubs, you play day games. So you don't have time to play golf, even in the, you know, in the, you. You don't get much good weather in Chicago, but, God, Chicago's got some great.

Some of the best. Even for a limited season. Give us your favorite couple in Chicago. Oh, Medina, Butler. Butler's hard. For me, Butler was too hard. Yeah. Have you ever played Conway Farms?

I'd really enjoy that course. Of course, they've got Cog Hill, Dubs, Dred. But they've got some courses out there, you know, just. Just north shore. You'd be a babbling guy. North Shore. Bowbillacres. Yeah.

The shore acres is sweet. It's sweet. Chicago Golf Club, that's where Jordan was. But yeah, and they also had a, it's a public course, but they had a PGA out there called Kemper Lakes. Yeah. Which is, but everything's out in the suburbs. I lived, I lived in the city. But man, like I said, for a limited season, Chicago golf is truly amazing.

Amazing. It's one of the best spots for just all-around golf. Number of courses. Couldn't agree more. And there's old school, you know, and then, but there's also, but, but man, Medina was, was a lot of fun. You don't play Beverly? Never played Beverly. Oh, you should see.

That place is unbelievable. I mean, it's scary a shit to go down there, but it's incredible once you get there. You accidentally turn right out of the parking lot. You got some stress, but the golf course is unreal. It's so good. Yeah. And, and were you guys? when you played Butler was that white line there that at the at the drop off at like the bag dropped like there's that white line that no women can yeah i don't know if the white line was there but i believe that white line i was just like

they're for holy shit they're not messing around here is this heaven no i can't get it you kidding everyone should play the game you brought up mj and obviously you were you were the stud for the cubs in the 90s and mj's mj they're Chicago. Do you get to do anything together or spend any time together? Michael and I are good acquaintances. You know, unfortunately, baseball and basketball, one's a winter sport and one's a summer sport. But that's in the wintertime when you're living in Chicago, guys, like it's a little chilly.

Yeah. So I'm a huge sports fan. So I would always go to Bulls games or Blackhawks games. Didn't go to Bears games because that was outdoors in a, Too goddamn cold. Yeah. Just too, I did that twice, never make that mistake again. But, you know, the Jordan's teams were so good.

Yeah. I mean, Jordan Pippin. It just, you would go, hey, Gracie, the Knicks are in town. You want to go watch Patrick Hewing and, you know, maybe John Starks. And yeah, let's go check. It should be a great game. Bulls would be up by 32 at the half, you know. And now you're watching, now in the second half, all you're watching.

as will Purdue and you know. Yeah. Bill Winnington. Yeah. No offense. No offense. He's a huge fan of the show.

Oh yeah. We love you. But Jordan doesn't even play in the second half. You know, so and half the crowd is left and it's like, all right. So that's how good they were. But my, my fun Jordan story is my parents came up to visit me in Chicago and we had an off day. And we decided to go out.

In Chicago, if you're going to go gamble, they have these gambling boats. And drove about 30 minutes out to this gambling boat with my mom and my dad. Mom wanted to play slot machines. You know, dad didn't give a shit. And I thought I was a decent blackjack player. And, well, so I've got this guy. I know he's a casino host out at this boat. And I would get there.

Hey, hey, Gracie, you know, you picked a hell of a lot. night to come out here Jordan's here. I'm like oh no kidding you know like love to go say hello real quick you know I'd love to love to introduce my mom my dad to Michael Jordan you know this is a oh I'd love to meet Michael Jordan so so now I don't know if you've ever been on a gambling boat but there's usually three levels you know one level the lower level used to be the slap machines and the video poker and stuff like that the second level used to be the black Jack, maybe a couple craps tables in the third levels, more like the stranger game. You know, they're, well, I mean, not the stranger games, but you know, like roulette,

but there's also like the three card poker, you know, just the pie gal or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So, so the second floor is a blackjack and the casino. It's empty. It's roped off. It's empty. The entire, I mean, there's at least 70 blackjack tables.

on this boat that are not being used. One is, and that's where Jordan's playing. And so we go up and there's this huge giant of a man. And it's one of Jordan's security guys. So the casino host say, hey, you know, extremely huge man. This is Mark Grayson and his mother and father. Yeah, hey, hey, he just wanted to go say hello to Michael real quick. So he talks like a secret service guy.

talks into his lapel, into a microphone, zah, zub, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, zah, and so. And big giant man says, about 30 feet away, there's another big giant man that you need to go talk to. So now we go, same, same story, you know, bzab, zub, zub, into his lapel. After about four of these, we got to Jordan's table. And he's playing by himself in this enormous second level of the boat,

and nobody else is in there. And he's got stacks of, like, I think 50s and hundreds are really, really good. He's got colors I've never seen before, guys. He's got, you know, aquamarine. He's got, he's got all these colors. And there's stacks of thousands, five thousands, ten thousands, and stacks them. So I finally get to Michael and say hello real quick. He's in, hey, Gracie, what's going?

and says hello to my very gracious to my mom and dad. I can't see enough good things about Jordan. And I just kind of stood there and watched him play. And I watched him play about 20 hands. And if he played 20 hands, he probably won 18 of them. And he's putting thousands upon thousands of dollars, big stacks of chips, anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000 a hand. And he's winning.

and I'm watching this shit and I'm just like, man, it must be good to be the king, you know. So he's like, hey, Grace, you want to sit down? No! I'm not going to put my $20 bet out there while you're betting $30,000. Kiss my entire ass. So he's like, well, anyway, so I'm like, okay, Michael, I've seen enough, you know, like just good luck, you know, good to see a thing, you know,

and say goodbye and off we go. And I told the casino host, I said, I'll tell you what, Michael, got your ass tonight, man. You know, he goes, he goes, he goes, this happens all the time. He always gives it back. He always gives it back. He has, he doesn't have the ability to leave a winner. So he'll just stay there and until he gives, until he gives those, all those stacks back, you know, eventually they're going to get you.

Oh, of course. They're going to get you. It's almost like the odds are stacked against you. Do you think? I'm talking about it. I feel like it's not a fair fight. But I told you those 20 hands, boy, he got their ass. I can't believe he asked you to sit down.

Like, that would be like breaking up a perfect game. Like, hey, dude, go talk to our pitcher over there. Nobody's gotten on base. He can go asking what he thinks. Dude, he is cool about it, though. As long as you play right and you play 20 bucks hand, he doesn't care. He'll let you sit with him. Yeah, yeah.

You start staying on 14. As long as you get one of them big dudes going to come by. Or splitting tens or, you know, crap like that. How cool is that, though? You're on that level. You go in and like, oh, Mike's got the whole floor rope up. The whole floor to himself. So what was the, like, Mike's the guy?

obviously anywhere he goes, any country, anywhere ever. But you were the dude in Chicago, too. Like, could you go out and go to dinner and not get, like, mobbed and all that? I think I, I hate to say I was a man of the people, but I was a man of the people. I didn't travel with security. I didn't go out with an entourage or usually, usually it was,

after getting out, day games ended about 4 o'clock, you know, go have a, go have a Hawaiian punch or five after the game in the clubhouse. Right, right, right. And then around Wrigley Field, I don't know if you guys have been around Wrigley Field. There's just bars and restaurants everywhere around. So there was this place called Murphy's Bleachers, right, right in center field that I knew Jim Murphy and knew all the people. There was actually this private room up there that, you know, we could go in. There's a pool table and a TV and, you know, eat, drink, and be married for, you know, usually maybe an hour.

hour or so after the games. But then, you know, being a couple teammates, all right, you know, you want to, you want to go to dinner somewhere? Yeah, let's go to, let's go to, let's go to Carlucci's Italian place. Or let's go, you know, but I rarely got, got bugged. I mean, yeah, there was, you got recognized, but they were usually pretty respectful. Now, now Michael, mind you, that's a whole day. That's a different stratosphere, but it was also pre-instagram. No one's like, oh, I'm going to take up, you know what I mean? Thank God there were no camera. Not every dude had a camera.

Exactly. Oh, I'd be. That was the golden era. I'd be serving my 20th year in prison as we speak. That was the golden era. Oh, yeah. I mean, imagine. That's the bad thing that athletes now have to deal with is the lack of privacy.

And, you know, I'm not on social media, but it just seems to me like it's, it's tough on athletes. And it's tough on just people, period. because you get to hide behind the keyboard and just lamb base people. And everyone's got a direct line to you. And they say shit that they would never say to you. If they got an elevator with you, but like, oh my God, I love you. And then on the internet, like, grace sucks.

Yeah, they can ruin your life. It messes people's brains up bad. And I just, I've always been a, no, I'm not going to do it. And I'm going to stick to that. Now I'm, you never say never, but, you know, I'm 57 years old now. And, you know, I can see posting a picture with some emojis, this is just not my thing. This is a couple of smiley face emojis on that, you're an emoji guy.

With you and some lips? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that seems right up your alley. That'd go over like a fart and church. So should we get into some baseball? Yeah, I want to hear all about it. And the baseball is going to be incredible. I mean, obviously, you're drafted out of San Diego State.

Right. You spent three years in the minors, correct? About two years and three weeks. Okay. Yeah. Well, I think I'm curious. Full year, double in about three weeks at triple it. We call the mini tours in golf the jicky jacks around here.

So that's very comparable to. Could jicic jacks? No. Jickey Jacks. The jickey jacks. That's very, I would say, comparable to the minor league. Shout out Jamie Stowe's for coining that phrase. Yes.

But I want to hear some jicke. I want to hear some minor league stories. Minor league stories. Because that had to be a lot. I mean, I know it's not where you wanted to be, but it had to be a lot of fun. No, some of the greatest times I ever had were in the minor leagues because, you know, you're riding buses for, you know, hours and hours. And you get there.

And you go straight to the ballpark and go play. And, and, but, and now mind you, you know, the bus rides in 1985, my, my first year in Peoria, Illinois, you know, there was no internet. You know, you couldn't stream movies and you couldn't, you know, you, I had a walkman and I had a walkman, some, some headphones and some cassette tapes from ACDC back in black. to Hank Williams Jr. You know, whatever. And everybody was asleep. I'm one of those guys.

I don't know about you guys. I can't sleep on planes. Can't sleep on buses. I'm terrible at it. So, Sleeze can sleep right here during this interview. He looks like he's not. It kind of looks like he's not in off the street.

I can do it anywhere. But yeah, I don't have that ability. So I was that guy that just in Illinois and Iowa. and Wisconsin, wherever we went to, I'm just staring out at cornfields for miles and miles. And, you know, it wasn't easy, but we didn't know any better. And, you know, some of the, I still have friends that I keep in touch with here, you know, 40 years later or whatever it was, 35 years later,

that I played minor league ball with it. They never made it to the big leagues. And, you know, that's a, it's a special bond that, you know, Your locker is about two feet high and about six inches wide, and you've got to put all your stuff in there, you know, and everybody is cramped in together, and everybody stinks, and the showers, half of them don't work. And, you know, it's, but at the time, you didn't know anything better.

And so I played a full year in A ball in Peoria, Illinois, and then I went, I led the league in hitting at 342, and drove in 95 and in the minor leagues you play one less month. September 1st, your last day, whereas in baseball, October. So you play 140 games in the minor leagues. So led the league and hitting, and by the way, my rookie, my first year in A ball, I made $700 a month. I was just going to ask you, if you didn't mind, what's a minor league contract?

A month. And Uncle Sam gets his fair share of that. So needless to say, you know, I had to make that horrible phone call to mom and dad, give some money, please. But out of $700 a month, we had to live like five guys in a two-bedroom apartment. And so I have a really good year in A ball. And so I get promoted to double A where after that big year I had an A ball, I got to raise up to $1,000 a month.

Hello, world. In Pittsfield, Massachusetts. That's right. Pittsfield, Massachusetts. Never been there. Good for you. He'll be honest. Does a foul go a long way in Pittsfield?

It's aptly named. And it's, and we, it's, it's, it's, it was, it was tough. But once again, it was one of those where some of the, some of the really good friends I made, we just made the, you make the best of it because you don't know any better. So we're traveling all over Vermont. and Massachusetts, it's into Pennsylvania. You know, you're also seeing, now mind you, this is not cornfields and flatness like you have in the Midwest and Illinois,

like we're at Abel. It's, as it got later in the season, August, September, and the leaves start to change. Really beautiful, and there's some mountains, and, you know, there was some good fishing and stuff like that. But, and we were good. We were really, really good. So that always helps you get motivated as when the team's good.

You know, this guy's, this guy's, you're pushing you, and you're pushing this guy, and it kind of made it, it kind of made it good. There was one bar in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. I know you're going to be shocked. I'm talking about a bar. I bet they knew you there. There was one bar, and it was called owls. And we would go in there after our games,

and the local yokels didn't really appreciate us too much in there. You know, this guy's from Florida, this guy's from California, this guy, these fucking guys coming in here. You know, and they're getting the attention from, from the Pittsfield girls, which,

anyway, no, they, they didn't have anything to be jealous about it. So, so, yeah, there was a couple times that,

you know, we had to, had to protect ourselves and that kind of stuff. But looking back on it, it was like, there was a couple times, let's step outside.

Listen, and I want, and we'd go out, and watch one of my teammates and watch one of the local yokels you know all right stay out of it we got to just beat the shit out of each other I mean like not one side

I mean both both this guy and this guy are landing blows and it's just like wow this is so cool don't worry if someone dies I was too big of a wist to getting one of those kind of fights out in the parking lot but God it happened that's our shortstop

shows up the next day blooded up And the coach was so proud of him, you know. And you guys jump in? No, we didn't jump in. All right, start running. Start running. Yeah, we had to run miles because we didn't jump in. It only took you just a little over two years to get to the league.

Give me the first day you walk in. You finally arrived. You're in the Biggs. First day walking to the Cubs locker room. I had to fly from Des Moines, Iowa. That's where we have our AAA with the Cubs, Des Moines, Iowa. So I get a call at 6 o'clock in the morning. Ah, more like 4 o'clock in the morning.

and it's my AAA manager, never forget him. Pete McCannan was his name. And he was kind of a, had a wise guy sense of humor, funny guy. So 4 o'clock in the morning, you know, you had a landline. This is before cell phones. And, you know, my phone rings. I answer, oh, hello. And he's like, Gracie, it's Pete McCannan.

And he goes, I just want to tell you that congratulations. You're going to the big leagues tomorrow. Fuck off, Pete. and I hung up the phone. As you do, to your... Because I thought he was just messing with me. He probably got drunk out in, you know, somewhere in Des Moines and decided to mess with me. That is a weird time to get the call.

Thank you. You know what I mean? At 4 a.m., I wouldn't expect the big news. So 10 seconds later, the phone rings again. He goes, Gracie, I swear to God, I'm not messing with you. You know, not only you're going to the big leagues, but your flight is in two hours. You know, you... And I'm like, all of a sudden it hit me.

I'm like, holy Christ almighty, you know, like, I knew. I was going to get that phone call sometime, but not at 4 in the morning, you know. And so, and now my flight is leaving in two hours. So I had time to call my mom and dad, and my dad was pissed off at me because I called him at 4 in the morning. And I said, well, I just wanted to tell you, I'm going to, you know, they were, you know, mom cried and dad didn't care. I'm kidding.

He was my hero. God love him. And so I have to fly from Des Moines, Iowa. Now use your geography here, guys. Had to fly from Des Moines, Iowa to Chicago. Okay. I laid over in Chicago because the team was in San Diego. So I had to fly an hour and some change to Chicago east,

and then fly all the way to San Diego another four hours that way. So, you know, 7 o'clock game, I didn't get out to San Diego until late afternoon. Now I go to the ballpark and I get there, First thing I'm told is manager's office right there. He wants to see it. Don Zimmer was my manager. He was Boston Red Sox.

Pedro threw him on the ground. Yeah, he got knocked out of the guy. So Don Zimmer was my manager. Yeah, threw his ass right on the ground. He got knocked out. So I go in there and I said, hey, Zemmy, he goes, shut the door. So I shut the door. And he said, first of all, congratulations kid.

He goes, you're my first baseman. I'm in the lineup that night. Oh, wow. And he said, you're my first basement. And I said, oh, man, appreciate it. He goes, until you show me you're not my first basement. And I said, okay, that's fair. He goes, we'll know in a week, a week.

That's enough time. That's all I get is a week. I've had some horseshit weeks in my career. I'm like, man, you know, so I kind of told myself, if this is what it's like to get your chance, then I better get hot. And that night went out, made an out, very first at bat in the big leagues hit a cue shot to the third baseman easy out

second at bat got my first base hit as a major leaguer off a guy named Jimmy Jones he he's he's my he's my he's my the guy got my so I ended up going two for five yeah two for five that night and we ended up winning the very next night I hit my very first home run in the big leagues off a guy named left Tander named Keith Comstock. Keith Comstock, yes. Two days later, he was released by the Padres and never really heard from again. And basically they said, well, if this clown can hit a home runoff, you must not be that good.

And he got released. That's nice. So you're coming in the first week. It's like Q school for you. And they throw guys that are, you know, the lame ducks. But I told myself, you know, I got to get hot. And I did. And, you know, you guys have.

That's impressive. Like, you know, hey, if you don't do something here, you're not going to get your card. You're going to go to the corn fair or something like that. And you got to get hot. And you guys have done it your whole lives. You know how it is. Exactly. That's really cool.

We found out talking to, I realized that baseball players, I feel like, are the most superstitious of all the athletes. I couldn't agree more. Okay. Give me Mark Grace's superstitions. I was, I wasn't one of those guys like Wade Boggs that, you know, had to eat the same thing every day. and all that. You know, I'd ruin my body with burgers and fried chicken. It didn't freaking matter.

My one superstition was I lived about a mile south of Wrigley Field. And, you know, in the side street, there was no freeways near where I lived. So if we won, I would take the same route to the ballpark the next day. if we lost, you know, there was a thousand different ways in all these little side streets. So I would take a different route. So that was probably my biggest was... Well, that's normal.

Yeah, that was kind of my thing. But I always used to tell people, think about this, I used to tell people, I'm not superstitious. It's bad luck. There you go. Thanks for laughing. You guys got it. I got you.

We picked that. We're dumb, but that's right around our level. So, so yeah, that was. There's some guys to do some crazy shit, though. Oh, yeah. You know, like I said, Wade, there's a lot of guys. Yeah, what was this Wade Bob? What did he do?

He, he ate chicken every single day. Respect. Every single day, he ate chicken. And he had to go out and run his sprints at the same time every single day. And, you know, I think superstitions, you know, I think they can be, if they, they if it helps you deal with things, but I think they can, they can also control you to the point of voodoo, you know, where, where it's like, that, this is not healthy, dude, you know, like, this has no effect on you either.

You know, the dude that step out of the box and have to tap 72 different things and do all that. I'm like, that's, come on. The fact that you took a ride on Oak Street right here didn't mean, that's not why you freak, you fucked up the game, you know, it's like, so, so that's kind of like, you know, oh, you know, I would take a different route. But I think I was also, you know, open-minded enough to realize that, you know, that's not why, you know, the reason why is that pitcher was better than me today. That's why I was no good.

Or you didn't wear the right socks. Exactly. That's one of the two. Dan Marley wearing the inside out socks. What's that? Yeah, Marley, where's the inside out? I mean, DA goes at the exact same time for everything to the, I mean, everybody's left. Like, I used to hate playing the title is threes.

Why? Pretty much shit with everything. I had like a bad round. I probably fucked up some important hole in my career where I could have done something good and instead I messed up and now here I am. And I was like on that, it was probably the three.

I always gave my threes away. I will say golf is another. I know a lot of golfers that are very superstitious. What are some of your guys? I always had to, if it was important, like final round, I always had to play force. That was like,

I love Titleist force. I tried to trade my other ones. Never any other ball, but titles. I would prefer to play the entire way. Just give me a dozen title of force. Okay. I was like kind of, and I had a lucky pair of green underpants for final round.

Obviously, they weren't lucky enough. Those bastard, those bastard underpants. Green. No, but I was kind of like you. Like, if I played well, I would try to do the exact same thing the next day. Okay. So if I had something at dinner the night before and went out and played good, I was eating that for dinner again.

Really? Okay. Yeah. But nothing crazy. So what about like, for instance, Tiger always the red and the black on Sunday? Did you guys have a Sunday outfit? Well, you have to make it to Sunday. Yeah.

I had a nice Friday outfit, though. You made plenty of stuff. And so I was just going to say, you know, there's like, man, it's like, okay, I got to get out to the range at the same time. Hit, do the exact same routine. Did you guys always do the exact same routine? I had the same warm-up clubs every time. Pretty similar. But that wasn't like a super.

That was just like how I warmed it. I didn't like. If I sucked one day, I was still doing it the same the next day, whereas like golf balls and stuff like that would change. Golfers have some weird stuff. I mean, guys only mark it tails up or heads up or a certain year or whatever. Like there's a lot of it. I only carry three T's in. in my pocket.

There's a lot of like kind of just weird little stuff like that. But I feel like baseball dudes are the, you guys have so much time to sit around and think and you play so many damn games. It's like, you know, you know, don't step on the line, step on the line.

You know, just that kind of stuff. I'm doing the gloves, both times, tapping gloves, so I didn't have to worry about, yeah, but there's all that stuff.

The routine in the on deck circle, the routine once you get, once you get up there, you know, I didn't, I didn't really do much of that. I didn't have a routine because, I couldn't.

I didn't have time to remember all that shit. To be honest with you. Next time you watch golf if Kyle Stanley's in the coverage, he undoes his glove with his mouth every time. Really? On the green. Every time if it's off. I think when he goes to take it off,

he takes it off with his mouth instead of his finger. It's weird. That is weird. Yeah. That is weird. Every time. I know some guys that only use broken teas on par three's as opposed to full teas and stuff, just weird stuff.

Okay. Yeah. Now, I have noticed. I've noticed in golf. more guys are hitting it off the deck on part threes. Yeah, I don't understand that either. Why is that? Because I don't know about you guys,

I always want a little advantage of the T. I think because they practice on the range, obviously off the ground, that all the fairways, they hit, all the irons they hit throughout the day or off the ground. So when they get to a part three, they're like, but I'm with you.

I want that perfect lie, and I also know I can get away with a little more. Okay. He got the chunks that. Jack Nicholas said always used a T, so that's good enough for me. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I interlock. I interlock. Nicholas did it. Tiger does it. Why can't I? I want to ask you about, you mentioned going against great pitchers and everything. Nolan Ryan, one of the best that ever did it. Tell me about your first time.

I know who you've talked to. You're starting to figure out who I've talked to now. There's some moles. That prick told you the story. Actually, I don't know any of the stories. I just know the topics. I wish we had a visual on this because the first time I faced Nolan Ryan was down in the Houston Astrodome. you know now mind you I grew up in southern California and he played for the California Angels at the time

we 10 minutes from my house was a stadium so I used to always go to the Angels game and I watch Nolan Ryan me and my buddies would sit there you're like whoa this dude's unbelievable he's throwing a hundred miles he think you can foul one off him yeah I can file one fuck off you could not you know and so all these things that we did as kids watching Nolan Ryan now here it is a few years later and I'm facing this guy, you know, and all these old fantasies are coming to life. And so first time I face him, he strikes me out in four pitches. And I'm just like, now I've been in the big leagues like maybe two weeks. He strikes me out on four pitches.

And I go back to the dugout and my shortstop was a guy named Sean Dunstan, one of my favorite people in the world. I said, is there many guys like him up here? No, Gracie. He's one of the best, man. I said, because if there are, I need to go back to DeBron's one of the best. moin right now. And so now fast forward about two weeks later, Houston comes to Chicago. And guys on second, I run into a, run into a Nolan Ryan fastball and hitting the left center gap for an RBI double. And I'm standing on second base. And I look over at the third

base coach, see if he's putting on a sign or anything. Now I got to look at the mound. and there's Nolan Ryan standing halfway between the mound and second base standing there staring at me and I've got my hands on my knees and I'm just looking and I'm like oh look at this son of a bitch he's trying to intimidate me so I'm not going to let him intimidate me so I'm going to stare back that stare back lasted about three seconds and then I just dropped my head and I just oh Jesus and he intimidated him the shit out of me, you guys. And my very next at bat, I got up there,

and my number was 17. He planted a fastball right between my one and my seven. And, oh, God, he hit me hard. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

And I'm just like, I got to first base, and they had a first base. His name was Glenn Wilson, and I got to first base. And he's like, you all right, kid? I'm like, man, am I not even allowed to get a first base? fucking hit? You know, I get a hit and he hits me. So, so he's scared the crap out of me. And fortunately, that was before Interleague play. So he went to the Texas Rangers after my rookie year, so I never had to face him again. Or, you know, I'm sure I'd have more Nolan Ryan's stories to tell you about him. I can't. I drilled you after one hit. Thank you. I can. Two weeks in.

They just throw it. But do you think if you wouldn't have stared him down for that whole three seconds, He was trying to be a man for three seconds, Cole. It's hard to do. It didn't work. I've been trying that for a long time. Not only did it not intimidate him. He drilled me in the back. Three seconds was an eternity.

It was a complete failure on my part. Not as bad as Robin Ventura's failure when he decided to run at him. I didn't, I was like, no, I'm not going to charge this guy. You don't mess with Nolan. No. How many brawls were you in, though? I've seen a few. Lots of, quite a few.

bench clears, but I only charged one mound. It was that. His name was Frank De Pino. We were teammates in 1988 my rookie year. And he was a pitcher. Obviously, I charged him.

But he and I got along about like a cat and a dog that year, my rookie year. He was one of those guys, veteran guys. He was getting towards the end of his rope, and I was just my rookie year. And he was tough on rookies and you know and he was kind of a you know he was a quippy guy he kind of had a

quick wit about him he said some funny things well you know you'd be out stretching and he was you know i was his target almost on a daily basis you know he'd have some or i'd walk in in the morning for a day game at about 920 in the morning you know and my i had to go to the end of the locker room. So as you're going by, you know, you know, morning Stultz, you know, morning call, you know, you go by, you know, and then I go by Frank De Pino, you know, morning Frank. Oh my God. Mark Grace just said hello to me.

Oh my God. I'm going to call my dad, you know. Just being a dick. And I'm just like, man. So, so anyway, and a couple times we had to be pulled apart from each other. So anyway, at the end of the season, he signs. as a free agent with the St. Louis Cardinals, who is a big rival with the Chicago Cubs.

And he tells a couple guys on my team that I'm so glad I stayed in the National League because the first chance I get, I'm drilling grace. So news gets back to me. I said, well, all right. If he does, you know, ring the bell. It's round one.

And sure enough, we're killing the same. St. Louis Cardinals. Ryan Sandberg, I'm hitting behind Ryan Sandberg. He hits a couple of home runs in front of me. Second home run he hits in front of him. He puts us up like 12 to 1 in in the sixth inning. We're just killing the Cardinals. Whitey Herzog, who is the manager of the Cardinals, comes out and taps his left, taps his left arm to bring in the left-hander, who is Frank DePino. So I know. He's going to take this opportunity. So I tell Rick Sutcliffe, I said, all right. I'm like, if this some bitch hits me, I'm going.

I'm going to need the cavalry because when you charge a mound, the first people that are going to get there are the infielders for the defensive team. And they're going to be there for a couple seconds before the cavalry comes. So as I got in, as I got up in the by, I look over and every single St. Louis Cardinal on the first base dugout is standing outside the dugout. Just ready. I look over at the third base dog, every Chicago Cub is standing like, oh yeah, I'm getting hit here and I'm going to have to go.

Well, the first pitch he throws me is way inside. He actually misses me. He misses me by about one inch. You know, I moved out of the way of it, he missed me. Fuck it. That's close enough. Let's go. And here we go.

Oh, you took it off when he didn't hit you. He didn't even hit me, but. But that's smart because then otherwise you just got to wait and get hit on the next one. I'm not going to just stand there and let him take target practice. And the whole team's ready. I know he's trying to hit me. He just missed me. So here we go.

And I went out there and it was a good one. Yeah. I mean, it was a good one. You can find it on the internet. It was a good one. And anyway, you get to the bottom of the pile and, you know, it's just a mayhem above you. And so anyway, you're being held to the ground and your face is in the ground. And, well, sure enough, we're about six inches from each other,

but we're being held and we're just screaming at me, you know, F you, no F you. Well, sure enough, as we're unpiling, they let go of him first. So he gets, he just hauls out and I see this fist come up and I just close my eyes like, oh, shit, I'm going to get. Bam, I mean, he smacks me one good, right above my eye. Didn't filame me, but he left a nice little mark on there, you know, what do they call those? Scars.

Not bruises or, but anyway. Contusion? Something like that, yeah. So sort of an alley. We'll come up with it. But yeah, he popped me pretty good. And I lose it. And now Pedro Guerrero wants to fight.

And I'm just like, yeah, it was one of those. So now I get kicked out of the game. I'm walking off the field in St. Louis. People are throwing shit at me. I'm getting popcorn thrown at me and hot dog wrappers. If it was New York or Philadelphia, it would have been flashlight batteries. So now I go to take off my uniform. I've been throwing out of the game, and I can't lift.

I've separated my left shoulder in the fight. somehow some way I've separated my left shoulder so our old school trainer says we got to get that thing back and so so he fills up this cast iron bucket full of water and it weighs about 10 12 pounds it felt like it felt like it weighed 400 pounds at the time and he's like lift that bucket like I said this is old school I'm older than you guys and I lift it and I lift it and tears are just streaming down. I'm like, oh, my God, he goes, just hold on to it, hold on to it. And I guess somehow lifting a bucket will somehow relax your shoulder enough to pop.

Well, the shoulder goes back in the socket about after six or seven seconds of holding this bucket full of water. And pow, it goes back in. And that was probably the most excruciating thing I've ever felt in my life for about three seconds. I mean, I felt like I'd rather get in a fight with a great white shark. But then after about three seconds, I'm like, oh, that's so much better. Now, I still missed a couple of weeks because I hurt my shoulder. But that's one, another reason that that was the last time I charged them out, and that was my second year and the bigger.

It's just not working. I don't think they fix shoulders like that anymore either. No. No. You never heard that. There's actual technology now. Actual doctors and shit. It's not a bucket full of water.

That's incredible. Oh, damn. Well, we got, we'd have to ask about, I mean, this might go two hours. I got 17 more. Yeah, we got so many more questions. But being in Chicago, obviously, the legend Harry Carey. Yes, we got to know about Harry Carey. First of all, can you give us an impression at all?

I, you know, I think it's because Harry is such an icon. You know, I can do the best I can, but, you know, I was very, I was very lucky guys. Harry, like I said, he's an icon. Yeah. There will never be another Harry Carey. You know, it's just not allowed. You know, he was, he was not politically correct. He, he, he wanted, you know, big-breasted girls on, on camera, you know, and like, you know,

hey, you know, don't show her face, pan down, you know, and stuff like that. You don't think you'd get away with that. I don't think you can get away with that anymore. But, you know, that was, that was it. And, but, but everybody loved Harry. So, I was lucky he liked me. So if Harry, if, if Harry liked you, he could make you a star and he helped me. and he helped make me a star in Chicago.

If he didn't like you, your ass was out of town within a few days. Wow. He'd get you run right out of town. That's incredible that he would announce or brought up. That'll never happen again either. Because the fans, they were on everything he says. If he thinks you're good, the fans think you're good.

If he didn't, if he thought you were no good, ass out. So my best, now do you guys ever remember Harry? Are you guys old enough to remember Harry? We know who he is, but we're not. So anyway, the thing about, about, Harry, Harry loved, you know, talking about women, you know, and, you know, oh, look at the, you know, if there was a, if there was a pretty girl that they put on camera, yeah, yeah, oh, it's a beautiful day at the ballpark, you know, stuff like that. So anyway, so Cubs baseball, it would be, you know, show the pitch and between pitches, they'd show the crowd. And that was the way Cubs baseball was. Well, anyway, after a pitch, they show this couple in the stands, and they're passionately kissing. They're making out in the stands. And Harry, they're having fun of the old ballpark, you know.

And so, you know, pitch back to this couple. Pitch, back to this couple. And they're still making out. Now this goes on for a couple of innings. Now it's become kind of part of the broadcast. It's become, you know, they're, you know, showing the game, and then there's this couple, you know, and they're still making out. Like, get a room, dudes.

So, so finally, Harry says to Steve, Steve Stone, he says, Hey, Steve, I think I've got this couple figured out. He says that, I think that he's kissing her on the strikes and she's kissing him on the balls. He had no idea. of the Freudian slip that he made. He just, that's how much they're kissing. That, you know, that's just how much they're kissing, you know, strikes him.

But he said it that way and there was just dead silence. That is, for about 30 seconds and then you hear Harry's getting a near performance producer, you know. And all you hear Harry's go, what? He has no idea what he said. That is so good. And that is a, you know, that is an ungodly true. story. That is fantastic.

That you can't make up and. And nowadays, you're fired immediately. Oh, you'd be done before the next inning. Oh, yeah. You'd be out and canceled and all the stuff. He's kissing her on the strikes. She's kissing him on the balls. That's incredible.

He was in the right era, the right era. I mean, we were too young to like really see him. At least I wasn't falling baseball like that at the time. But like the Will Ferrell, you know, that's how like Arjun, you know, that whole. Yeah. You know, Will Ferrell, all due respect to him. His hair is not that great. It's like really exaggerate, you know.

It's not that great. There's actually a pitcher in the major leagues that does a very good. Ryan Dempster. I was going to say there's a guy named Derek Holland. He played for a long time. Yeah, they would have him

when the Rangers were in the World Series against the Cardinals one year. They had him like in between innings. He wasn't pitched that day and they had him do Harry Carey. And he's pretty good at it. I've never heard that. I'm going to have to hear that.

You did a great take me out to the ball game. Yeah. Seventh inning stretch. It was fantastic. Yeah. Did players like you said, because he controls the whole narrative. Like you said,

if Harry likes you, the fans like you, The more players trying to kiss ass to him to be like, hey, get him on my side and make everyone like me? I would. I would. Yeah. Hell yeah. You know, it's like, you know, you can say there, you know, he, I don't know of too many icons. This guy's an icon.

Mohammed Ali was an icon. John Madden, Harry, Perry. Those are like the two. Yeah. I mean, so yeah. I mean, if, and if Harry invited you to dinner, you fucking went. Yeah. You didn't say, no, I need to stay home with the, with the white.

If you poo tonight, no, you went. And you came home blasted out of your mind. Your wife was pissed off at you, you know. I need to do it. It's for business. But you went. That's exactly right. Was his real name actually Harry Carey?

Nobody knows because Harry was an orphan. Oh. He was, Harry was an orphan. So nobody really knows. When did the... Because I feel like that's just two quits. I don't think his name was Harry Carey. Yeah.

When did the glasses? Is that always? a thing. Oh, that was always the thing. He always, he always wore the Yeah, the huge, whatever they are, the telescopes. That was part of the whole deal, though. He had to get mobbed. Yeah, he had to get mobbed going out. He couldn't go, yeah. So one time, two Hall of Famers, Ryan Sandberg and Andre Dawson, two Hall of Famers and me, we're down in Houston. And before batting practice, we're going to do a photo shoot. The three of us, you know, the number two, three and four hitters for the

Cubs, we're doing a photo shoot. Two Hall of Famers and me. So above the visitors dugout in Houston was the fans. You know, oh, yeah. You know, Rhino, Andre, Mark, please sign, sign, okay, we'll be right there, guys. You know, we've got to finish this photo shoot, you know, and cheese, you know, all that stuff. Well, right as we're finishing up,

and we go up to just above the dugout and we're signing autographs. And like I said, two Hall of Famers and me, 30 seconds after we get started, Harry Carey peeks his head out, and he's about 40 feet from the three of us. Somebody says, hey, there's Harry Carey. Every one of those fans, they went over to Harry Carey, and there was nobody left to sign for.

Two Hall of Famers, Andre Dawson, Ryan Sandberg, and then myself, we looked at each other like, we know where we are on the totem pole here, boys. That's incredible. And that was a lesson learned like that, just how popular that guy was. I don't never, I mean, I can't think of another broadcaster in any sport where guys would like fade their own team and be like, oh, there's our broadcaster.

Forget these dudes, forget these Hallfamers. You know, Ben Scully maybe, you know, somebody like that. But they're, I mean, you can count them on one hand. That's incredible. Yeah. So, yeah. And then I got, I got my, do we have my, your poster? Your poster?

Your prop? I don't know where the poster was. Oh, it's over there. We can find it. It's right there. Slee's, I feel like, I feel like I'm talking too much and we're running out of time. Well, there's no such thing as time.

We just normally go at an hour. Here we go. I just popped up out of time. It's in there, right there. Yeah, take us through this. I don't want to open it. So I'm going to, I'll open it for you, and I'll show you the whole. We have to get to the United eventually.

I don't want to, though. So here we are. Wow. We've got to describe this for the audio list. So this is like a life size poster of Mark Grace. Of Mark Grace. With a milk mustache. Holding a glass of milk with a milk mustache.

and I'm much younger, as you can see. Six-two, huh? Six-foot-two, yeah, I give myself six-two. So anyway, so in 1995, it's Mark Grace Post. Come down here. Come down by the mic. In 1995, it's Mark Grace Poster Day at Wrigley Field. And the first 25,000 fans that come in on from time looking at that thing.

So the first 25,000 fans come into the, come into Riggily. Wrigley Field, get that poster, me holding a glass of milk with a milk mustache looking like an idiot. So they're passed out scroll style, and they're passed with the backside rolled up. So you can see it's white. So there are these really big white scrolls. Oh, and every, you know, white, yeah, they're 25,000 of them. So every time I came to the plate, you know, they, way, you know, it was like a glow stick

and a rave. You know, woo, Grace, you. Yeah. So fast forward to the ninth inning. We're down to run facing the San Francisco Giants. And so we get a rally going. Base runner, base runner, out, base runner. Bases are loaded. And who comes to the bat, but Mr. Posterboy himself, Mark Grace. And everybody gets up and they're waving their posters and it just looks like a whiteout at Wrigley Field. We're going to win for sure. Grace will never let us down, you know. Base hit wins it.

Sacrifice fly ties it. And I'm facing this closer for the Giants. His name is Rob Ninn. And he was very good. And, you know, place is going absolutely bananas. And I hit into a 6-4-3 double play to end the game. 25,000 posters came flying on the field. I mean, they threw these posters on the field.

It looked like it snowed. on Wrigley Field because they were all white. Now, I'm running back into the dugout. The game's over. I'm getting hit by posters. And so the bottom line is, guys, if you ever think you're having a bad day, you ain't having that bad a fucking day. I can promise you that.

At least it wasn't Bobblehead Day. And Colt, if they didn't, if they didn't throw them on the field, there was two guys right behind our dugout as I'm going into it. They opened up their poster, ripped them in half. And then there was also a group of people over here lighting them on fire. Like lighting the posters on fire. That's real fans. These are the home fans, guys.

Lighting my shit on fire. We have 162 games, guys. Just relax. Good news is that one's worth a shit low. That's probably the only one left. So needless to say, you haven't had that bad a day. Oh, my God. A boogie here, a boogie there ain't so freaking bad.

You've never had life-size of milk posters either. I think probably never will. I think what we've decided from this is we're going to have to have episode two. with Mark Gray's because we haven't even got this is like the preface yeah because we gotta do the E9 I'm gonna I'm gonna I think I'm gonna move them around

that's fine awesome shit I didn't get to Esther yeah I get a little long winded no it's no it's great that means we can do episode two because we haven't even got to the World Series oh okay you did win that that was cool yeah by the way we'll get to that later oh yeah that was cool job on winning the biggest shit in baseball all right so now ask him something done

all right emergency nine this is where we get really fun can we have that I'll have that I love it mess with as much as you want Just throw it on the ground for now. We'll figure it out later. I got to figure it.

Okay. You go. We ask this to everyone. You can trade lives with anyone, dead or alive for a day. Who's it going to be? Man. Tiger Woods, Nicholas. You only get to pick one.

You get to pick the day, though. You could be like Tiger 97. I would say, I would say for one day? Yeah, just a day. How about, I'm sorry. Man, how about, was it Johnny Miller's 64 at Oklahoma? 63 at Oklahoma?

I've ever heard about it? 63 and over a decade? Yeah, me neither. What was that? And, you know, Johnny, Johnny was, you know, he was a good commentator, but he tended to mention that about every single day, didn't he? I don't even know what you're talking about. I didn't even know he shot 63 at O'Mont.

Did you guys watch the Players' Championship? Yeah, this year? Okay, yeah, this year. You know, the amazing Cameron Smith. putting, you know, display, but I decided Paul Asinger is a really big Paul Asinger fan. I can say that, you know, because I don't, say whatever you want, because I don't give a shit, but that's what I've decided. So you're not going to be Paul Asinger.

I didn't see it taking that turn there from magic to. But so, so I'm sorry, you know what? I'm going to say, I'm going to say, gosh, I thought you were going to be Johnny Miller for. Okay, Johnny Miller for a day. Because I played Oakmont and I shot about 93 on that course. It was tough. Yes. Yeah, very tough course.

All right, Johnny Miller, the 63 at Oakmont. You could talk about it for the rest of your life after you do that. All right. I'm going to give you one here. I was told, I don't even know the answer to this, but I was told that you would know what I'm talking about. Okay. So tell me about your rookie year when you asked Rick Sutcliffe where the batting cages were against the St. Louis Cardinals.

That's a long story. I'll try to keep it as short as possible. This is going to be a four-hour episode. Just give it all to us. I want it. So I've been in the big leagues for like a week. And it's raining at Wrigley Field. And it's going to rain all day.

Really good chance that this is going to be a rain out. Suckliff is pitching that day. And you go down in the locker room and on the bulletin board, you know, hitting in the cages. We're not going to hit on the field. It's raining. So hitting in the batting cage, well, I've only been in the big leagues a week. I have no idea where the batting cages are at Wrigley Field. So they happen to be under the right field bleachers at this time.

I didn't know that. So there's not many people around. Suclifts listened to his earphones. And on the day Sucliff pitched, he didn't like anybody bothering him. You know, just don't talk to me. I'm getting ready and all that. So I didn't know this. I've been in the big leagues a week.

I didn't know this either. So he's sitting there minding his business with his earphones on, and he loves country music. He's listening to his country music. So I'm tapping him on the shoulder like an annoying prick. And sure enough, he looks up with this disgusted look on his face at me. Takes his headphones out of his ears and like, what? I said, you know, I see that we're in the same group hitting in the cages.

I don't know where the batting cages are. Where are the batting cages? He's like, kid, I'm not going to hit today. he said but and this I can see the light bulb go off in his head and

he's going to fuck with me and so he's like now mind you they're under the right field bleachers all you do is walk down to the dugout walk across the field to the right field bleachers there's a door there boom

he tells me to go back up into the concourse take a left and start walking He goes, and I remember this like it was yesterday. When you think you've gone too far, keep walking. So I'm like, okay. And he goes, you're going to come to an old style beer stand.

That's a big beer in Chicago, old style. And he goes, right next to that old style beer stand, there'll be a door with a security guard. Those are the batting cages. I'm like, okay. So now it's a rain out. The people are not sitting out in the room. rain. They're in the concourse. You know, they're not out in the rain. They're smart enough to

not get rained on. So, I've got a couple of bats. I'm wearing, you know, Gray 17 uniform walking. And I'm wearing, I'm wearing my cleats. And, you know, cleats on cement, you guys wore cleats. You know what it's like to walk on a cart bath or whatever. So it's making that sound. And so I'm, I'm walking. Hey, Grace. Hey, how you doing? Just going to take a little batting

practice, you know? I'm walking and I'm walking and I'm walking and I'm like Jesus Christ this a long ways oh yeah that's right if you think you've gone too far keep walking okay well man about 50 yards later I'm like oh my God there's this old style beer stand and sure enough there's a door with a security guard I'm like oh god okay so I go to the security he doesn't know who the hell I am you know I've been around for nothing and I said I said hey need to get in there And this guy looks at me like I'm from Venus.

He's like, looking at me, he's like, all right. Well, he opens the door and I go down a couple flights of stairs. And there's a coach for the St. Louis Cardinals named Red Shandies. And he sent me to the visitor's clubhouse. He sent me to the visitor's clubhouse at Wrigley Field. And my dumb ass, I didn't, I'm like, I thought they were using the batting page you know the visitors using the batting I'm like oh you know hey mr. Shandy's you know you guys still hitting he looks at me and he says I don't know

who the hell you are kid but somebody got you good you're in the Cardinals Clubhouse and I'm just like Jesus Christ so now I'm double time and back you know you know I'm going and everybody hey Grace what are you doing over there you know I just want to see a buddy So now, now I get back, I finally get back to the clubhouse, you know, the Cubs Clubhouse, and I go down and like my, like an idiot, green idiot that I am, I go up to suck. I'm like, I go up to suck. I'm very good. You got me good.

Now really, where's the batting cage? And he could have sent me to the Sears Tower and I'd are probably gone. But he was nice enough to finally just say, you know out of here. go over there. And it was a rainout anyway. We never played the game, but he got me good. And that's how, like I said, that's how stupid I was and young I was. I love this Rick Sucliff. He's great. I actually met Rick Suckluff way back in the day. He was big into horses. Big into horses. Yeah, my stepdad owned a horse ranch. Outside of Kansas City, yeah. Yeah, my stepdad owned a horse ranch. He actually came to our ranch one time. So, yeah. So my, my, my Succliffe story.

I shouldn't have said anything. God damn it. We're going to be here forever. Have you ever been to a game in Cincinnati, Ohio? That was one of the questions. Okay. Have you ever gone out? I beat you to the punch. That's fine. So Succliffe's pitching in Cincinnati.

And anytime a Cincinnati red hits a home run in Cincinnati, they shoot off fireworks. So Eric Davis is up for Cincinnati, and he hauls off and blast one into the second deck. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, fireworks. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So. So, you know, rounds the bases, you know, everybody, high five, high five. The very next hitter's got a name Paul O'Neill when he played for the Reds. Paul O'Neill, the very next pitch, hauls off and blast one just as far into the right field bleachers.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And back-to-back pitches, back-to-back fireworks. So our pitching coach decides to come out. His name was Billy Connors. He was kind of a rotund guy. And Sutcliffe, once again, that was his mound. You know, don't come near him, don't talk to him. So, of course, you know, so you fat son of a bitch, you know, and get your ass back in the dugout.

Yeah, I gave up a couple fucking home runs, you know. And this is all before Billy Connors even gets to the mountain. He's just screaming at him. And Billy finally gets to the mound. He goes, Rick, I know you got everything taken care of. He goes, I just wanted to come out here and give that guy running the fireworks a little more time to reload. And walked off the mound. That was the meeting on the mouth.

The best meeting on the mound I've ever been a part of in my life. That is great. Give that guy a little more time to reload. My face hurts. What did you do when he's done? I just laugh. I blew a snobble. That's what I'm doing.

Yeah. I blew a snobble. Oh, shit. So. So, so. So, they just want to give them time to reload. So needless to say, they're not always talking strategy on those mound visits. Best mound business.

Oh, that is fantastic. Oh, God. They got a fire warning in one of the forests nearby. Just going to give them a chance to put that out before you throw another hanging curve. That's great. All right, next one. Where are we at? It's my turn.

All athletes go through struggles. You know, I mean, we go through missed cut streaks and all this. Right. Y'all tend to go through some slumps during your career. How did you get through a slump? Well, any sort of remedy? The slump buster story goes back, goes back to Jim Rome. I probably did that interview about 1993.

Phenomenal. And, you know, I'm glad it was 1993 because I think if you do that, if you do that, if you do that, if you do that, if you do that, if you're going to roll a dice here and see how this is. age, I think you could get in a lot of trouble. We'll just skip that one. Go watch the Jim Rome interview in 1993. Just pull it up. It's not hard to find. Did you coin the phrase, though, Slumpfuster?

No, no. It's an old thing that's been around. No. I was just the first one I had the balls to go on national radio. Yeah, with Jim Rome, who at that time, you know, he had a huge following. Still does. But, but yeah. So there's such a thing as a social thing.

as a slumpbuster. There's a way you can get through it if you're willing. You just say my number two was the Sutcliffe story. Okay, yeah. I don't know where you're going to get to it. I don't even know where I'm out here. I'll give you one. Former teammate Sammy Sosa hit some,

hit some dingers in his day. When did you first notice Sammy Sosa forgetting how to speak English? He speaks fine English. Oh, you don't say. I saw it in front of Congress. Oh, yeah. I saw it in front of Congress. All of a sudden he forgot us.

He spoke it and then he forgot it again. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He speaks plenty of Congress. good English. Okay. That was just a little weird brief amnesia there for him in front of Congress then. And that's I like that you went there.

Okay. Thank you. Because Sammy and I played a long time together and loved him until he hit 66 home runs. Wow. Then it got bad? Then yeah. Then he wasn't as lovable after that.

But you know, changed up a little bit. Got hit 600 home rides. You changed physically too. No, you think? Yes, he did. Yes, he did.

All right, let's call it. But it looks different. The guys, fame gets to a guy. Well, we talked earlier about some of the great golf courses you played, Guston National. You're making a trip to St. Andrews and May, you want to hear. But I want to talk a little bit about the wind at Cypress Point. I heard you in the wind in quite Ciet Eye at Cypress Point.

That damn wind. Colt, you probably, both you guys have probably played there. and it was blowing hard. Like 40 to 50. Wind is not my friend on the golf course, especially when it's right in your face and you're teeing off. Well, I put a little side spin on one, guys.

A little slice spin. I like to call it a fade, but it was slice spin. And it went straight up in the air and the wind got it with a slice. landed almost behind me. With driver? With driver. With driver.

With driver. It landed almost behind me. Bad time to hit one of those high flares left. What hole was it? It was on the back nine. It was probably the first par three there on the coast is what? 15. 15, yeah.

Yeah, 15, 16. It was either 14. 14's up the hill. Up the great trees. That was it. That was it. That's a cool hole to do it on if you're going to hit a negative yard drop. Yeah.

And unfortunately, that's a true story. You've talked to B-O-B. I don't. I don't. Hey, no, don't. We're journalists. Yes, yes, yes, we don't. Nobody's name will be mentioned.

So, yeah, that's a true story. It was actually maybe five feet forward, but fully airborne, you know, wasn't a ground ball like with the seven iron. I was about to say which one went for that of the seven piece. The seven-piece met at least five yards. I hit the cart pad. It would have gone further without that. All right. I'll give you an easier one here.

What's the most enjoyable time to have a SIG back in the day? Pre-game, post-game, or during the game? All the above. All of them? Were you in the dugout, ripping darts? No, you're not allowed to. If you're, if you're, now mind you, I smoked when I played. I quit smoking.

I quit smoking after I was done. That makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? Yeah, time to tighten up. But the funny thing is in 1988, my rookie year, when I got to, the big leagues, I was one of the few guys on the team that didn't smoke. Everybody smoked as part of it. Yeah, different area. By the time I left the game 16 years later, maybe me and another guy were the only

guys that smoked. So, you know, obviously these guys take such better care of themselves than we did. And that's why they're bigger, stronger, and faster and doing these amazing things. But the only place I'll ever have a cigarette now is on the golf course. I quit 20 years ago and I don't crave them anywhere. You know, laws have been passed. You can't smoke in a restaurant or a bar. And I'm not going to be one of the sad asses stand outside of the bar or restaurant.

And I'm not going to. Or in one of the rooms at the airports. And I'm not going to go outside and smoke at my own house, my house. But I just, I don't crave them. But on the golf course, I'll have a handful. All right. Still. Do you guys, you guys ever smoke?

Never? Smart. Stay that way. I did. Got enough shit. Stay that way. I didn't worry about. I dipped once when I was 14 and puked my face off, never did it again.

Everyone pukes the first time. I don't know. We get to the second. Put a Copenhagen out. San Diego State. Baseball was cool to have a tin in your back pocket, you know. So here, Gracie, try it. You know, I put a dip in.

And within 30 seconds, I puked right in the dugout. And they're like, well, that always happens. don't worry about. I'm like, what is this black tar heroin? What are we talking about? So, so after the nausea, you remember what a nasty nausea that was, a tobacco nausea. So about three days later, like, yeah, try it again, Grace. It'll be better this time. Okay. I'll try it, put it in. And they were right. It was better. It only took me about a minute and 15 seconds for people getting in the dugout. So I'm just, I'm not, I'm not me. Now, leaf tobacco, you know, like red man. I can, I can do that, but I can't do that. But I can't

do the snuff stuff. It's just way more obnoxious to have that stuff in your mouth. Agreed. It's everywhere. All right. Next one. The great George Brett says there's two types of people in the world. Those who have shit their pants and those who haven't yet.

Where do you stand on this? I'm on the former. Maybe at Wrigley Field one time? At Wrigley Field one time, yes. God, there's so many good ones. They shit your pants. We went on a run where maybe 12 guests in a row all had shit your pants. Yeah, everyone's poop.

Come on. Everyone poops. There's a book about it for kids. Yeah, I did. And it was, it was, it was, below average. Let's not get ourselves. Had to change out.

Were you on the field when this happened? I was on the field playing first base when I did it. You know, hell, we've all done it. You know, we go to fart and you shit your pants. And yeah, I did. And so, I'm out on the field and I can feel

gravity bringing it south. And you're in the home whites. They're in the whites. Yeah, we're in the home whites. Shit, that stuff. I've got that dastardly brown spot back there. Did Grace slide today? Nope. Nope.

Didn't slide. Oh, Gracie looks like he shit his bat. Fields must be muddy. So, so anyway, by the grace of God, the inning ends, and I'm due up third in the bottom of the inning. So I tell the bat boys, guys, let me know what's going on out here because I shit my pants. I got to go change. And so I get to my locker and I drop trout.

and it is everywhere. I mean, it's not just a little, you know, it's like, it's in my socks. It's in my socks. It's everywhere. So I'm not going to be able to just towel off and throw the towel away. I've got to go get in the shower and clean up. And as I'm in the shower, the bad boy comes out. The bad boy comes out and he's like, Grace, you're on deck.

You're on deck, dude. No, I'm not. I'm in the shower cleaning all this shit off me. I can't breathe. So now I dry off. I dry off. I'm sitting there naked at my locker. And I've got to put an entire uniform back on.

And there's a lot to put in on a baseball uniform. So, you know, I got new socks. I'd shit through my jock. I've just everything. So, Grace, you're up. You're up. And our manager was Jim Wrigelman. And I said, tell Riggs to go buy me some time.

I'll be right out. out there so I got to put my entire uniform on you back on and it takes me at least a couple three four felt like forever and so I'm running back through the tunnel and I run out in the dugout and the Wrigley Faithel are just going ballistic just loving life and Jim Riggelman and the home plate umpire are nose to nose arguing just gna gna just screaming each other so I get out on deck and Riggleman peeks behind him and he sees that I'm out there and he's done argument

and he walks off to a standing ovation the Riggly Faithful are just like oh Riggumann way you showed that umpire Woo! Riggleman way to go! Come to find the argument kind of went like this nose to nose my manager goes up to the umpire

and says you're not going to believe this but my fucking first basement just shit his pants and I got to come out here and buy you time and the umpire buys right in his name was Jerry Crawford buys right he's like are you fucking shit me they shit is bad you

but they're no they are faking an argument they're faking an argument and and and that was all it was was a fake argument so of course I get up to bat and Darren Dalton the late Darren Dalton was catching for the Phillies and the whole point

they're looking at you shit your pants you idiot and I'm like yeah yeah I did so so I make my out you got to make my out And I go out to first base, and the visitor's dugout is first base dugout. So, of course, you know, Dalton has gone in and told all his teammates that gray shit his pants. So now, within five minutes of standing out there on defense, here come the toilet paper rolls from the first base dugout.

Yeah, they're holding up to pins and stuff like that. I mean, it's coming flying out of the dugout. So moral of that story is next time you see an umpire and a manager going at it, it might be. Might not be because the Empire blew a call. That's all the time by that. Yeah. To go along with it. He bought right in.

He was a great guy. He's a great guy and a good umpire. He's no longer. He's retired, but a great guy. I know that name, yeah. He would have been, he would have been the only guy to,

to go along with it and buy me time because. Nose to nose. Love that. Yeah. You got to be shitting me. He shoot his pants. What an idiot. Great shit his pants.

Oh. Oh, he had to shower. Oh, God. I feel like we should in that. That's the tough one to top, but I think I got one that is, at least in my opinion, going to be pretty good. Give me the standard protocol as a first baseman when you take a trip to the mound and you notice that your pitcher is visibly aroused.

Oh, so you know. So it's true. Wait, wait, wait. I didn't know if this was even true. It's cool. I didn't go to the mound because I noticed. But he was, you do it. The great Greg Maddox.

one of the greatest pitchers of all time in the argument of best ever well he throws a pitch and he's kind of acting like like he pulled a groin or something like that and you know that was our bread and butter guy Greg Maddick so I run to the mouth like you know Mad Dog you okay

he goes great standing in front of me I'm like are you okay he goes just fucking stand in front of me I'm like okay I'm like what's the problem he goes I got a heart on and I'm just like well I'm the wrong dude to tell that okay because

he goes just stand right there and I just looked at him and I'm like you just love pitching don't you do and I run back and of course you know once the inning's over I go in and I tell every one of my teammates you know you're not going to believe about that meeting on the mound and so but that is once again I wasn't given them any

advice he wasn't giving me any advice he just needed me to stand in front of him think he wanted to look at you to get rid of it also look at me in the eye real quick you ever want my you ever want my old lady get turned off just have her look at me oh my god I mean what was that get caused was that a medical slip up I have just he loves throwing strikes I just think he loves bitching he loves getting guys out God bless him so that the story was true I was like I didn't know that you're the only way to confirm her holy and then I'll give in my last short story.

So we remember the great... I still have one question left. We remember the great Tommy LaSota, right? One of the best rags I ever got. Lasorta was always pissed off in the first base dug out at Wrigley Field. Just pissed off, screaming at everybody. And so I called, I know you, and Stoltz, Drew, you guys know that I was not a, speed was not a big part of my game.

I was, you know, I was a slow ass. So, so I get a. I get a hit to hurt the Dodgers and Tommy's screaming at me. And he tells me, Grace, you're so fucking slow. If you raised a pregnant lady, you'd come in third. That's a good one. Never heard that one. One of the best one liners I've ever gotten.

Usually I'd tell Tommy, go fuck yourself, Tommy. But I looked at him and I was like, that was pretty good. I gave him credit on that one. All right. Last one. I'm going to let you put your drink down before I ask this. Do you think Hallie Berry ever wrote Space Mountain? The answer is if you watch the 30 for 30 with Rick Flair, the answer is yes.

What is this? I don't even know. I was just told to ask this. He said you'd laugh for an hour. Okay. Yeah. Well, one of the, do you ever watch 30 for 30 on here? Yes.

Yeah. Have you seen the Rick Flair one? Yes. Okay. It's one of the, it's unbelievable. This guy was just a freaking mess. And he was one of the, the greatest wrestlers of all time.

You know, he's out there doing all those tricks and all. And he's got 40 beers in him, you know, doing all this stuff. He's telling, he's just coming out, being honest. And he also was talking about, you know, it's almost like Wilk Chamberlain-esque with all the women he's bedded in his lifetime. So they, the interviewer asked him, you know, something, you know, just talking about all the women he's quote-unquote had. and he came out and he says yeah and just just want to let you know that

Hallie Berry rode Space Mountain and not my Space Mountain but Rick Flair Space Mountain so so that's kind of a that's kind of become a thing you know talking having sexes writing Space Mountain oh god yeah that's that's what I had no idea makes more sense your boy B O'LBlair got Halliberry yeah how about that wow how about that's my queen are you're going to say are you depressing way to this fucking interview, bud. Are we all jealous together? Pissed in my Cheerios.

Sorry, sleeves. I don't know that's out. I don't have to find a new one. J-Lo, you're up. Mark Grace, incredible, my man. Thank you so much. You guys are awesome. And good luck with this thing.

It's great. All right. Well, that was the legendary Chicago Cub. Mark Grace joining us on a golf subpar. I mean, I haven't laughed that hard since an interview with Mike Commodore. But, I mean, I've been on the road the last couple weeks. I have told more Mark Grace stories from this podcast than anything I can ever remember and people just die laughing.

We're talking with them for 90 minutes and the guy that won the World Series. We didn't even mention the World Series one time. And I wouldn't want to. If we had another hour and a half with him, the World Series is about 38th on my list of shit I want to talk to Mark Grace. But how about the one? I'm glad he confirmed this. I'd read it a few times and I'd heard some stories, but I didn't know. Things go around the internet.

When he walks off from First Base, I have a little conference at the mound and he got your star pitcher there, Greg Maddox. And you walk up and the dudes chubbed up. And you're like, what do you do as a phone? How are you talking through that? How are we doing, bud? Everything good? He got a little residual Seattle is going on.

You just don't see it a whole lot. There's a lot of baseball games out there. I can't remember the last time I saw a pitcher chubbed up on the mound. But that's a dude that loves pitching. He continued the streak of great shitting your pants stories with baseball players. And Ray Whitney. We'll throw him in there as well. But that was fantastic how the ump just played along,

got in a fake argument with the manager to stall a little longer. Yeah, what a guy. The Rick Sutcliffe, the fireworks. That's my favorite one. Just give my man a little time to reload out there. And Harry Carey, I mean, I'm starting to, you know, there's that list of people. you wish you could hang out with once in your life.

Harry Carey's going up and up and up on my list. Oh, dude, the stories that I've heard about him that we didn't even get into, some I'm sure are fake, some are real. He's one of one. They don't make him like that anymore. And just like Gracie was mentioned, like you can't get away with stuff he was saying anymore. You should try to try it though. Test the water.

She kissed him on the balls. Throw some of those out there and see how they go over. I feel like we're the pendulum swinging back now. Well, he's a legend. We're going to have to do another episode because like you said, we didn't even get to the second half of his career. No, dude, all the old school athletes, whatever sport it is, hockey, baseball, Well, like, dude, it's just a different era back in the day when things were great and you could do some stuff.

And they got the best stories in the world. All right. Well, it's time to make everyone out there some money with our guys over at Fandul. Step up to the T and take a swing at betting the PGA Tour on Fandul's sportsbook. Right now, new customers can place their first PGA tour bet risk-free. And if you don't win, you'll get up to $1,000 back. If you've been thinking about joining Fandul, there's no better time to get in on the action. They have it's extremely easy to use.

There's a range of betting options like outright winners, head-to-head matchups, nationality props, and so much more. And when you win, sleeves, what happens? Dosaurus, two hours. That's how fast. Get paid fast. Yeah. All right.

Well, we're on to one of the most unique events on the PGA tour. The Zurich Classic, a team event, which is very, very exciting. We got some stacked teams. Colin Morikawa, Victor Hovlin, Patrick Cantley, Zander Schaulay, Ryan Palmer, recruiting better than Nick Sabin out there. Has Scotty Sheffler the Masters champion? I did the math. Okay.

I mean, it's unreal. This is his fifth appearance. He's played twice with Jordan Speath. He's played twice with John. I went back and I looked at their current ranking leading into the event. The average ranking of his partner now with Scotty being number one is 4.6. If you're outside the top five, don't even think of teaming up with Ryan Palmer. Parish the thought, bud.

Get somebody else. But they're not the favorite. No. They're not. Victor Hoffland and Collinmore Cow are the favorites, followed by Zander Shafley and Patrick Cantley. But this one's a lot of fun. I love this one. Two days of best ball, two days of alternate shot.

I've had the pleasure of playing with the Legend Boo Weekly there before, playing with Ricky Barnes. It's fun. I'm actually heading down there on Wednesday. I'll be on the coverage this weekend, but let's get to it. Let's make some picks here, Sleez. Fired off. Who you got?

Who's your top tier? Well, I'll tell you, my favorite bet, and they're going off at 28 to 1, is Max Homa and Taylor Gooch. I think you've got to have great team camaraderie in this event. Got to have a lot of fun. Both guys have been playing fantastic over the last year. They're really good friends, play a lot of practice rounds together. I look for them to do some very good things. Among the favorites, though, I'm looking at a team that's 13 to 1.

Another guy that's been extremely hot over the last year, Sam Burns, paired with Billy Horstow who's won at TPC, New Orleans. Billy Horshaw is a team guy. He loves this stuff. He's a rah-rah. He is. I expect them to play very well. They're my favorite, but if I'm looking to make money, 28 to 1, Gooch and Homa.

Okay, Gooch Homa. I like that pick. By the way, Burns going back with the, you know, Louisiana native, going back to his old stomping grounds. Down in the Bayou. Yeah, exactly. He'll be very, very. comfortable down there. I looked at this. There was a number of it was hard for me to not pick the

defending champs with Cam Smith, Mark Leishman, almost went that way. But then I started thinking, I don't want to overthink this. There's a team there with Xander Schaafle and Patrick Cantley on the same team. Two golfing machines that don't suck at anything. They're great at everything. They love each other. They play gin for 17 hours on plane flights. They're best friends in the world and they're both. They're the same dude. They hit it great. They put it great. They chip it great. How do I not pick them? It'll be one of those weeks where if I didn't pick them and they won, I'm like, I'm an idiot for not picking them. So I'm going to go with them. They're going off at 8 to 1. That's Zander Schaulet and Patrick Cantley. If you go down the

board just a little bit, some ball strikers. I think you need great ball strikers, obviously. I just think you can lean on that an alternate shot. The easier you can make it, the more you can do that, the easier it gets. I'm going 36 to 1. I think this team's, they're not sneaky because they're big-name guys, but Will Zalotauris, Davis Riley. Yeah. Going off in that group. Zalotaurus, by the way, putted it. Really nice at the masters. He made some like eight, 10 footers, the ones you're not used to see in him, hoop. The stroke looked a lot better. Davis is going to get to hit half of them more or less when they do alternate shot. And then you know what Will's going to do to you to green. I think that team

at 36 to 1 dangerous. I was a little surprised by their odds. Obviously, we haven't seen Will Zalotoros. He played well at the Masters, but as of late, the results haven't been quite where we're used to. Davis Riley, kind of hot or cold. But like you said, team format. And this thing is won and lost in the alternate shot format. I mean, a lot of all these guys, you know, you can get away with one guy being off in the best ball format on Thursday and Saturday. But alternate shot, you got to bring it. If there's a screw loose, it's going to show up out there. And Zal Taurus, he just set the bar so high right when he came out.

It was just top 20, top 20, top 20 over and over. They were like, oh, he'll do that for forever. It's just not the case. The putter's been a little shaky, but I love what I saw at Augusta. And I just think those two guys, their camaraderie too, their freaking roommates, you know, they're going to have a, I don't know, at 36 to one. I like the odds there. It's worth a dabble.

Yeah, absolutely. All right. So go low this summer and bet on the PGA tour. Just download the Fandall Sportsbook app and sign up using promo code subpar to get your first bet risk-free up to $1,000. Remember to use our promo code subpar to get this special offer today. Fandall Sportsbook, official betting operator of the PGA Tour. Must be 21 years older than present in select states. First online, real money wager on the refund issue does non-withdrawable site credit that expires in 14 days.

Restrictions apply to see terms at sportsbook.fandle.com. Gambling problem, call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 5334-2 in Arizona. Call 1-800-5-2-2-7-0 in Colorado, 188-8-8-8-8-8. 777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. 1,800 gambler or visit fandle.com slash RG, New Jersey, Iowa in Illinois, 1-8778-N-Y or text Hope N.Y-467-369 in New York or 1,800-522-4-7-0 in Wyoming. Or just every state could agree that gambling is legal and I don't have to do that anymore. Or just sack up and win bets and you don't have a problem.

You know what I mean? Just throw some smart money down and you don't have to call anybody. Well, Sleaze, we normally don't give a tease, but we've got to give a little tease this week because when I mention the name, Chris Vernon, I don't think we're going to a lot of people might know who that is. Not right off the top. However, there's a catchphrase that if you mentioned, they're going to immediately know.

What does it do it? What's going on at Augusta? Pretty good. Pretty good. We're going to have a little competition. But the man behind what's going on at Augusta is going to join us. This guy is a character. I cannot wait to interview him.

It's going to be a lot of fun. And we'll show it to you on next week's golf subpar.