Suggestible - Know My Name

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

Suggestible things to watch, read and listen to. Hosted by James Clement @mrsundaymovies and Claire Tonti @clairetonti.Trigger warning. In this episode we discuss Chanel Miller's book 'Know My Name' which includes references to sexual assault. Please skip ahead to 24 minutes if you'd like to avoid this topic entirely. Thank you so much for listening.This week’s Suggestibles:Mr Sunday Mission ImpossibleClose EnoughKnow My Name by Chanel MillerI Was, I Am, I Will BeI Am With YouSuper Mario AllstarsMy Octopus TeacherThe VowSend your recommendations to [e-mail], we’d love to hear them.You can also follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook @suggestiblepod and join our ‘Planet Broadcasting Great Mates OFFICIAL’ Facebook Group. So many things.Visit bigsandwich.co for a bonus weekly show, monthly movie commentary, early stuff and ad-free podcast feeds for $9 per month. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Well, here we are, Jim Bob. We're back for another episode of Suggestible where we say, hey. Happy birthday to Claire.

Oh, it's Claire's birthday this week. That's right. Are you excited for your birthday? Birthday in quarantine lockdown. Not quarantine, just lockdown in Melbourne. Both. Look, am I excited? I am because you look very stressed, which makes me feel like you've been planning some things. You know how difficult it is to organize anything for your birthday when you can't go anywhere or see anyone? As people may know, there's a five

kilometer radius on the house. So you either got to deliver it or you've got to kind of get everything within that area Yeah, I know And it's hell on earth And even what I've managed to pull off, I'm like, is this even anything? But anyway, you'll find out when that all happens Cool, I appreciate you and I appreciate it We are suggested by the way, we recommend you things We don't just talk about my birthday

I'm Claire, James is here also. And we're really excited this week to talk about some things. Usually, I don't know if anyone else out there, we have very different approaches to birthdays. Your approach to birthday is, it never happened. No one pay attention to me. I'll sit in the corner with a hat on. Yeah. And I don't think this is like an age thing. I've never really been like it. No, you're never a birthday dude. I mean it probably is an age thing at this point. But it's more it's just like who cares. Oh, it's also like I never like when I was a teacher I didn't want my students

to know when my birthday was. Because you don't want people to know anything about you ever. That's true. But the reason was because if you've ever had a birthday party for yourself with students, it's true but the reason was because if you've ever had a birthday party for yourself with students, it's just a fucking nightmare. Like they bring in a whole lot of food and it just gets everywhere and it ruins like half of your day and then they're all high

on fucking sugar for the rest of the day and it's a fucking nightmare. You're such a miser because my approach to birthdays in the past not so much recently since i turned 31 before that was it's my birthday it's a whole week festival if there's fireworks let it rip everybody will pay attention to me i have got and i used to really annoy me that my birthday always fell in the school holidays and as a kid it used to annoy me as well because other kids would have like their cupcakes brought in on the day. And it's just not the same if you try and celebrate your birthday during school when it's not your actual day. Mine was always in a school holiday and I liked that because it meant

I got a day off school because like the idea of going into school on my birthday was like that should be illegal. I just wanted maximum amount of fuss made of me as possible. Yeah, great. The thing about birthdays is though. I sound like a terrible person. Look, I mean, and to be fair, like I think other people's birthdays are good. Yeah.

But I don't think they're a big deal, like at all. I know, which is why I have subsequently during our relationship tried really hard to make massive deals of your birthday and always organised like surprise parties. No, to be fair, in recent years I've done more subtle things like organise like a very good friend of yours to catch up with you for beers or something. Like, you know, we're going to go for a hike or whatever and then you're going to see 100 people that you know. Remember that time I organised for your 30th a surprise superhero party

where everyone had to turn up dressed in superhero gear and you had no idea. And then one of our friends turned up like an hour early dressed as Superman. Yeah. And I'm just like, for fuck's sake, are we having a fucking costume party? And then everyone stormed in like someone was dressed as the actual Hulk. And I had like a secret costume prepared for you. It was still a nightmare. Yeah.

Whereas like that's my ideal thing. Contrary to what people may think, dressing as Tom Cruise this week for a video. Yeah. I do not. Do you some favour and find on YouTube on Miss Sunday Movies the video of James dressing as Tom Cruise. Mission Impossible 2.

The week alone. I nearly didn't put it in because I'm like this is too embarrassing. And people love it. But I don't understand why. Like do I like it ironically? Like it's because I'm like this is too embarrassing. And people love it but I don't understand why. Like do I like it ironically? Like it's because I hate it. Like I genuinely am like this is awful. Yeah, well, I was there at the end of the day.

I don't know if any parents are out there but, you know, that little bit of time at the end of the day where you collapse into a couch just like this is my one time. And then James is like, so I'm just dressing up as Tom Cruise. Here's the camera. You have to film it so I'm just dressing up as Tom Cruise. Here's the camera. You have to film it. I'm going to do a cartwheel. Just press it here.

I had to do the cartwheel because Mason mentioned it in the video. We'd already recorded it. Mason is James' co-host. Yeah, so I had to do it. Anyway, we should do the actual show. We should. Anyway. Anyway, I'm doing another Tom Cruise stunt next week.

It's going to be insane. Oh, goodness me. I haven't done it yet. Okay, I have to say, James did a magic trick and it was very cool. Oh, that was in the first one. The first one from a Tom Cruise movie. We should do the show. Do you want to go first or do you want to go first?

It's your birthday week. Oh, all right. No, you go first this week, I feel. Fine. I'm going to recommend the show. It's on Netflix. It's called Close Enough. It's an animated series.

It's eight episodes and they're each broken up into like two. Close Enough to Death, which is your favourite thing to say. I think, am I closer to death than a lot? Maybe. I don't know. Anyway, it's by J.Q. Quintel who made The Regular Show, which is a show that everybody loves and I have never seen. It starts here.

Gabrielle Walsh, Jason Manzoukas, who's a really funny comedian slash podcasting slash acting person. So the series revolves around a couple who are in their early 30s and they have a five-year-old daughter and they live with their divorced friends in a Los Angeles duplex, right? So it's set in that time period in life where, which is similar to where we are now, where you're in your 30s and you're in between being like young and old. You know what I mean? So it's like, I guess it's middle age I guess.

That would be the definition of middle age. Yeah, I guess it is. Are we middle aged? Yeah, I guess so. I still think of myself as like on the young side of middle age. Because I think like the average like the lifespan of like men is like 70 or something. So I would be.

So no, I'm still young and youthful. Yeah, you're still young and youthful. But it's also like but kind of when you've got young kids, you kind of sometimes you're trying to lean into like the younger side of things sometimes and attempts like they go to a young nightclub or whatever to try and live it up. But it's also got this like surrealist slant to it. So at this nightclub, if they find out that anybody in there is over 30,

they get murdered. They get lifted up into like a fan like in Willy Wonka. I saw you watching a bit of this. Yeah. So it's like about being like having like young kids and being broke and trying to survive and also trying to relive your youth. And they're quite short episodes and it's really funny. Yeah, I really enjoyed it.

I hammered through them. I didn't even realise I like finished it but I watched all eight like really quickly and now it's um yeah i've really enjoyed it i'd i'd hammered through them i didn't even realize i'd like finished it but i watched all eight like really quickly and uh now it's done but it's the cartoon style looked a bit like rick and morty yeah which is like a lot of things these days but it's it's different than rick and morty it's um yeah and it's definitely got that kind of like there are like real world stuff like one of them's a like a video game developer and he's you know he's trying to get things off the ground and it's not always happening for him or whatever. But then like they'll meet like enchanted homeless children

that want them to adopt and they turn out to be like 80-year-old homeless dwarves that attack them. And it's just like this whole other, yeah, it's like it kind of walks that line. So it's, yeah. Like really absurd. It's very surrealist. Like there's a a they made a magical

snail which gives you a hat that makes you run fast but also makes you age really quickly like it's just stuff like that but then it's just like they're on a massive yeah but it's also like we don't yeah it is it is a lot and it's also like and we don't have any money so it's like you know what i mean yeah it's a sort of juxtaposition of surrealism with also a bit of reality that hits you in the guts a bit or not really? Not really, to be honest. No? No? Okay.

But their daughter's really funny as well, like their five-year-old daughter who they really like as well and their friends who live with a divorced couple, you know, trying to figure things out. It's just great. You should check it out. All right. Okay. That sounds really good.

All right. Well, I've got a really special recommendation. It's a book by an illustrator called Chanel Miller and her illustrations, and she's a writer as well, and her illustrations are also really kind of surrealist. Yeah. And there's illustrations in this book that you've read of hers? No, no. So what's interesting about Chanel Miller is for a long time she was known as Emily Doe.

And I don't know if you remember this. Emily Doe was a woman who was sexually assaulted and there was a case brought forward, people of the state of California versus Brock Allen Turner who was like a really high-profile sort of athlete swimmer at Stanford University. Oh, that fuckwit. Yeah. That was her.

That was her and she was discovered unconscious behind a dumpster after he sexually assaulted her. Yeah, he's awful. Is he still in jail? Because I know he – No, no. Didn't he get out? Yeah, so –

That's the worst. So you know all about this, right? Yeah, anyway, do you want to – Correct, yeah. So I'll talk a bit more about it. So her statement went viral. So Chanel wrote her statement, her victim impact statement, that was 12 pages under a pseudonym of Emily Doe,

and she read it out to Brock in court. So he was found, it's not really spoiling anything, the memoir that I'm talking about is Know My Name and that's the book that she wrote that was released in September 2019 which is when she actually came out and said, actually my name is Chanel Miller. And she kind of stepped out and was no longer anonymous which was a really bold and brave move.

I think what's really interesting is Brock was found guilty in the trial but then there's so much about the legal system I didn't understand. Because he came from money. Yeah, and he had some really great lawyers. Yeah, I don't really want to talk about him though. I want to talk about her. And I think that's part of the problem, that the media and the press focused on him and she was victim, you know, anonymous.

And so her book steps out from behind that and her impact statement talks a lot about that. It's supposed to be to protect her that she's the victim and anonymous and he's out there in the press. What happens then is that you are completely isolated and so everybody talks about the perpetrator. They know his face. It's splashed everywhere and that must be difficult for him.

But he's got teams of people behind him. He's got people talking about him. He's got all of this press about how he's wealthy, he's a swimmer, he's, you know, a grey scholarship student, all of that stuff. There's a thing about like he's alive to ruin for like 20 seconds of action. Yeah, yeah, 20 minutes. Yeah, exactly. And so she didn't have a voice.

20 minutes. Yeah, exactly. And so she didn't have a voice. And so Emily Doe, she sort of saw as a personification of victimhood. And so when Chanel steps out, she's also Asian American of Chinese descent and she felt that it was really important that she stepped out of anonymity for a lot of reasons, one being that she didn't see herself reflected anywhere in terms of- In terms of what happened to her or-

No, in terms of- Like her background or- Her background, who she was, and also for other victims as well. So I think what was really special about this victim impact statement was that when the judge, she read it out to Brock in the sentencing hearing, which is after you're found guilty, you then have to go to another sentencing hearing where the judge will basically say this is what you should serve. And because of a lot of legal reasons, he was given a really light sentence.

So it was six months at a county jail and then which really only came down to kind of three months. And that means that it's something like you still, you can get weekends off and things like that as well so it was a very light sentence especially considering what happened to her yeah and so she read the impact statement then when the judge gave the sentence he basically said it was a you know a very light-hearted not light-hearted but you know not a very serious um thing that happened to her and gave Brock this light sentence. And so then they released her impact statement on BuzzFeed under a pseudonym.

Yeah, right. And it went viral. I think I've read this actually. Oh, really? Yeah, 11 million people read it in just four days. Yeah. It was quoted everywhere from, you know, the New York Times. It was published widely in newspapers.

It was quoted in Congress. Good on her, man. Hillary Clinton quoted it at the end of her book, What Happened? And, yeah, obviously you know it. You've read it too. So it just exploded. I just found her writing is just extraordinarily beautiful. Yeah.

It's so. Was she a writer before this? She was a student, right? Yeah. So she was a student. No, she'd graduated. Yeah. It's so. Was she a writer before this? She was a student, right? Yeah. So she was a student. No, she graduated. Yeah. So really what happened to her was that she,

her younger sister was going to Stanford to this party. Oh, okay. And she just happened to decide after she graduated, oh, I'll just go along with her, you know, because they're very close. And then she started drinking and it was quite funny and then she blacked out and the next thing she remembers, waking up in a hospital. in hospital and with her underwear missing and pine needles in her hair and it turned out that she'd blacked out

and the only reason she wasn't. And two people found her, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Two foreign extensions. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So she was lying behind a dumpster. Brock was on top of her and two Swedish guys, she calls them the Swedes, stopped him from like going I guess all the way.

I remember they were really upset as well. They were devastated. Well, she was completely blacked out and Brock had her like dress pulled up right over her head, like just all kinds of awful things. And so I think what it highlighted was just how anonymous victims are and how powerless they are in the system how and how often and and the most likely scenario is a they don't even have enough evidence to charge someone and b when they do they get they don't get found guilty and even when they do then these

sentences are so light and it all becomes about him and not about her and i can understand also because you'd want to protect the people involved like if someone wants to be anonymous like you can understand that but yeah i it's so sensitive. Yeah, I don't really, I think, you know, I know I don't really think about it from the other person's perspective because it would be incredible. Who do you talk to? Like what's your side of the story?

Yeah, and the impact of her being anonymous meant that she couldn't even speak to her close circle about it. Oh, really? Yeah, and she couldn't speak to her sister about details of that night because her sister was then also a witness and so was her boyfriend. So there was a whole lot of – That's crazy.

She'd called him on the night and spoken to him over the phone. Who called the boyfriend? Her boyfriend, yeah, because he was studying in another place. Does she remember calling him? No, but it's recorded. Was she drugged or? No. So she just was having free poured drinks and just drank too much and blacked out.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and she was clearly, you know, so intoxicated and needed support and should have been just cared for and taken home basically. And so many of us have experienced that kind of blackout drunk at a party accidentally, you know, someone was pouring shots and the next thing you know you're throwing up in a corner or something. So I think it, yeah, it's anyway. Her book is so much more than that though because it supports victims.

It really delves very deeply into what it's like to be a victim of sexual assault and what the criminal justice system is like for you, how isolating it is. I actually just want to read a little bit of how it's described on her website because I think it just summarises it so beautifully. So, Know My Name is a gut punch and in the end somehow also blessedly hopeful. That's from the Washington Post.

Universally acclaimed, rapturously reviewed and an instant New York Times bestseller, Chanel Miller's breathtaking memoir gives readers the privilege of knowing her not just as Emily Doe but as Chanel Miller, the writer, the artist, the survivor, the fighter. Her story of trauma and transcendence illuminates a culture biased to protect perpetrators, indicting a criminal justice system designed to fail the most vulnerable and ultimately shining with the courage required to move through suffering and live a full and beautiful

life. She's so funny as well. She's really funny, really creative. And what's really interesting as well is that her mother is a writer as well. So she's Chinese. Her mother's name is, and I'll just find it here, her mother's name is Mei Mei Miller, pen name Seed Zeng, and she immigrated from China and inspired her daughter

to challenge oppression because when her mother was writing in China, she was writing against the regime. Right. And so she writes in Chinese and so she had to learn, like she moved to America, had to learn English, even though she's a writer. So there's just so many beautiful descriptions of the way her mother cares for her, her family, her relationship with her sister,

just like the rich complexity of her life. And because she's quite a quiet person in lots of ways, she's super observant and the way she writes about everything from the food she eats to the light in the window to what she noticed when she was walking around, it's just I can't wait to read more of her writing. It's just so brilliant. Has she written anything else?

No, it's her first book but you can tell she's always wanted to be a children's illustrator and writer. I just looked her up. Yeah, she's only 28. Yeah, she's super young. What's really interesting too is that now why the books kind of come around again, I guess, to be talked about is that she's just released her first art exhibition. So in San Francisco, and I'll just bring it up here, at the Asian Art Museum, I Was, I Am, I Will Be is this beautiful, it's huge, it's like 28 foot or something of her artwork

and cartooning, which is just incredible. And she also released like an animation of her artwork and that is so beautiful to watch. It really describes exactly what happened to her. What's it called? The illustration, and I'll just find that too. No, the video. Oh, the video is called I Am With You and it's just,

oh, it's so beautiful to watch. A very simple black and white drawings and just, yeah, she's just an incredibly articulate, creative, interesting person. And so what I love about this is that from a place of being isolated and alone and having that taken from her, she's now carving herself, a place for herself in the world that is beyond just being the victim of sexual assault or not just, but only being the victim of sexual assault and instead when she comes out and you know acknowledges her name and her face and her art it's just expansive and wonderful and shows that people are you know not just one-dimensional figures in stories like this

you know so I think it's um anyway it's just the most beautiful book I loved I loved the writing um but I but her story I think is just so important I think it's a classic and something that will be I think it's being read in high schools and by people in the legal system in the criminal justice system it's being looked at um at universities as well on how to better deal with sexual assault cases. And I think it really speaks to the fact that so often victims are voiceless and feel powerless in the face of, you know, these huge kind of universities or systems. And just the strengths that it took for her to actually bring Brock to some kind of justice and then for him to get a light sentence.

But for her to even bring that, it took a year out of her life. She basically lost everything. She stopped working. She couldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. It just consumed her whole being. So from being this person, you know, who is just artistic and creative and, you know, studied writing

and was working at her first job and had this wonderful relationship with her family. It's, yeah, it's wonderful to see her creating an artwork that is I was, I am, I will be because it's about her understanding that the past is fixed. Yeah. I was is the place in the present that we can only ever be and I will be is her kind of looking to the future. And there were two things that really stood out to me that I loved that she said and I just wanted to read them to you.

Yeah, sure. So this is something that her mother said to her who had lived through a lot of pain and suffering during her time in China. When I listened to her, I understood. This is her mother. You have to hold out to see how your life unfolds because it is most likely beyond what you can imagine. It is not a question of if you will survive this, but what beautiful things await you

when you do. I had to believe her because she was living proof. Then she said, good and bad things come from the universe holding hands. Wait for the good to come. I just think that's so insightful. And that's, yeah, I just think that's so insightful. Yeah, I completely agree with that as well because it's real, I mean, I would say swings and roundabouts, which is not as good a way of saying it,

but yeah. Yeah, but it is and I think that's a good lesson to think about through this whole pandemic as well. You have to wait to hang around to see how it ends, you know. And Chanel, I watched her talk in an interview about that too, you know, now she's presenting her artwork in this way and, you know, releasing this book that she was always, said she would always have written a book that, you know, this was what she ended up writing about and just how it's transformative. Like she's turned this like horrible event into something really positive.

Yeah, yeah. Which is like beyond her as well, which is really incredible. I mean, she's received thousands and thousands of letters from survivors of salt who were just thanking her for her words. The other thing she said that kind of just so hit home to me is particularly to do with her exhibition, I Was, I Am, I Will Be, is that healing when you've been through drama is cyclic. It's not linear.

So you're returning to that awful place to forge something and it helps you each time you return to it to find in your past experiences more that will form your current character. Yeah, right. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. So it's kind of mining the trauma that's happened to you and it's not linear. You do keep going back to it it but each time you revisit it, you find something in it to draw strength from if you let it.

And I think that that, I guess that's also the difficulty of trauma is that in order to heal you do have to go back to that same place and address it. But I thought that that was such a beautiful and articulate way of understanding pain. And her mum talks about how pain is transformative much more than happiness and contentment is, you know? Yeah, that's probably not inaccurate.

Yeah, it's very true, I think. Trial by fire. Yes. I just think that pain is what actually grows us and pushes us in new directions. Definitely, yeah. You know, if you stay in your comfort zone, you never really see what's out there.

No, yeah. And so it's the best way I think that we can think of because, you know, no one escapes trauma and pain in their life in whatever form it comes in. So that's something also that I always think about when terrible things happen to you. You think, well, here it is. It's not that it's my fault. It's not that.

I mean sometimes it's your fault. No, I just mean that it's not like there's something wrong with me and that's why life is hard. You know, Glennon Doyle always talks about how if life is hard, you're doing it right, you know, because it is. And so when wonderful things happen to you, God, you just have to lean into that joy and you have to stick around to find them because they will happen.

Just as assuredly as terrible things happen, incredibly beautiful things happen to you. Okay. If you're open to it though, you know. Don't put your cynicism on this one. That's not cynicism. I never know with you. Can't even be genuine, not in for a second.

I know because it's very difficult for you. We're going to keep on the topic. If we're keeping it deep, we're keeping it real. I'd like to talk about Super Mario All-Stars 3D, which is the new collection of 3D Mario games which encompass Mario 64 from the Nintendo 64, Mario Sunshine, a controversial entry into the title where Mario has a water jet pack, which he uses to traverse the landscape, and Mario Galaxy, often considered one of the classic Mario games of all time.

Anyway, so I'm speaking of difficult things, Claire. Mario 64 is a nightmare of a game to play and I stopped playing it. I thought it would be fun to revisit this game, but it is broken and I stopped playing it because the camera, the control, it's a game, it's one of the early 3D games and the camera's horrible and it's a fun world and all that, but I'm like, they should have fixed this. This is fucked. So I started, I played it for like quite a long time and I got quite far but I'm like, they should have fixed this. This is fucked. So I played it for like quite a long time and I got quite far and I'm like, I'm just not having fun. So I skipped it and I went to the last one, Mario Galaxy, and that's a fun one.

But now I've stopped playing it because I'm busy. So that's where I'm at with Mario All-Stars. Hey, swings and rounds about, mate. Swings and rounds about. I know. I feel like a fool talking about this game. No, but I think we got a lot of emails saying that Mario is their jam. I told you what it's about.

I think the problem with 3D games is, especially the early ones, they're not – they were still in their infancy and there was so much to be figured out. As opposed to like the 2D Mario games, it's like they're beautifully designed and they're really straightforward. But when you've got a 3D environment and you're also wrestling a camera, it's like it's just – they should have fixed it. They didn't.

Like they should have gone and actually altered a lot of these things that needed to be changed to update them, just little things, like keep most of it the same. But they didn't. And maybe they will. They won't. But that's where I'm at with Super Mario All-Stars 3D and I can't wait for Super Mario 3D Land next year.

What's 3E Land? 3D Land. Oh, 3D Land. In my head I went 3E Land, they've created another dimension and then I thought that would be 4D, Claire, not 3E. That's, what is it? Super Mario, no, no, no, not 3E. That's, what is it? Super Mario, no, no, no.

Fourth dimension is time. Oh, okay. It would be a time-travelling Super Mario game. I hadn't thought about it that deeply. But yeah, look, you know, get out there. You like video games, Claire? No. Then don't worry about it. Good, I won't.

Should I keep playing Super Mario Galaxy, people? Should I go back to Super Mario Sunshine, the one that people consider some classic, some people consider it not that good? These are the questions of our lives. Do you have anything else? Yeah, I do. Hi, this is Katnett Unfiltered.

If you know us, then you know that we do almost everything together, so accommodating seven kids and seven adults on vacation can be challenging. So we Airbnb it. And if you have a spare room in your house, you can Airbnb it. It's that simple. You can even Airbnb your whole house while you are away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Whether you could use extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. It's so awesome. I've got another recommendation that I bloody loved and I can't wait to tell.

I've recommended it to so many people. Can I talk? Yes? Excellent. Let me check my notes. 64 broke me. It's old. Okay.

No, let me talk about this. And the camera sucks. I want to talk about an octopus. The side scroll is age me. It's old. Okay. I'm not. Let me talk about this. And the camera sucks. I want to talk about an octopus. I'm just going to side scroll as age better. Skip to Mario Galaxy. Oh, God, God. But then I stopped because I'm tired and busy. Yep.

Okay. That's all my notes. We're gone. All right. Okay. I want to talk about a fabulous show on Netflix called My Octopus Teacher. I saw Octopus Teacher. Oh, it's so good.

I know. People always ask us whether we watch things together or not. We actually don't. Because we like very different things and also for this show. Also we watch things at different times because we're not awake or free at the same time. No, no, exactly.

Because you stay up late working and I stay up till 9.30. That's right. Watching my things and sneaking them in. You watched Mission Impossible 2 the other night with me. I did. We watched that together. Wow, you watched about 45 minutes of it. What a sexist, misogynist time that was.

You loved Mission Impossible 2. Yeah, I really enjoyed it. You loved it. I did. I really enjoyed it even though it was so phoromatic. It's also not a good movie. No, but it was fun. Anyway, go on.

It was a fun time. Okay, anyway. My Optimist Teacher is a 2020 Netflix original documentary film directed by Pippa Elruth. I will say that wrong. Elruth? And James Reid. It stars Craig Foster who also produced the film

and it captures a year in Craig's life that he spent with a wild octopus on the coast of South Africa. Yes. At this really wild beach. octopus on the coast of South Africa. Yes. At this really wild beach. And from the outset I thought, really? A whole doco with one octopus?

That's what I thought because often with, if you don't mind me, Claire, jumping in for a minute, often with, you know, with deep sea documentaries they're like, look at this fish. Now look at this different fish. Now look at all these fish. This is like the one octopus for like an hour and a half. No, it's 40 minutes. It's for 40 minutes.

You must have paused it and come back, right? It is the most extraordinary documentary and the story is told so beautifully I cried at the end. And so many of my friends who have watched it then ring me immediately and go, oh, my goodness, and I go, I know. watched it then ring me immediately and go, oh, my goodness, and I go, I know. I think it's amazing because it captures the life of this octopus in a way.

He's there for most of the octopus's life because I didn't realise that they live for only around a year. That's right. And so he's there for 80% of its life. And octopuses are super smart. They're like at least the intelligent of a cat or a dog, which I didn't really understand. It's just incredible. I mean they have.

They can open jars. You can teach an octopus to open a jar. Well, there you go. But the way this octopus interacts with him, he builds the trust with it and it comes to see him as a friend. At one point he loses the octopus and he manages to teach himself how to track her through the ocean and find her, which is just incredible. All the extraordinary tiny elements by visiting the one ecosystem

and that one spot, he really becomes one with that environment and understands what it means to be a part of nature. And he watches it like transform over the years. Yeah, yeah. Because it's literally like the same place every day. Yeah, and so there are things that happen in its life that are like really heartbreaking and then kind of extraordinary. I think what it touched on as well, which I loved,

is that idea of us being so separate from our environment and nature and how when nature is wild and left preserved in its own devices, how intricate and connected it is, how sad it is. I got really sad that we live so separately from our place and sense of space and that I get terrified of the ocean because I don't understand it. And there's so much knowledge I think that we've lost over hundreds of years of human beings being in the world that we've lost over hundreds of years of

human beings being in the world that we've kind of- Or even never had, or, you know. Yeah. I think that we did have it at one point in our history. Yeah, you probably are. And I think it's really sad that we don't understand nature enough to feel comfortable enough in it and a part of it, even though we absolutely are. And we're living alongside organisms and animals and creatures, even when we live in a city, you know, it's just that we've sort of built parameters around us to try not to think about that. And it also made me reflect on climate change and how, you know, that idea of what we do to ourselves, we do to the planet. And I think it just, I went very deep.

And I think also he, Craig, the guy who spent the year with the wild octopus, suffered from mental health issues before that and found that returning to the ocean that he'd spent a lot of time in as a child and becoming part of that nature again. Like a garden, like a secret garden. Yeah, and it became really healing for him and the octopus taught him a lot about himself, about life, about resilience, about growth. That's true.

He'd go down in the water and every day the octopus would have a chalkboard and a pair of glasses and be like, right, Tuesday's resilience class. Anyway, I think we have a lot to learn. I just think the simplicity of, you know, just observing and being a part of nature and taking things more slowly is really important. I feel like it's got a real kind of Charlotte's Web kind of vibe. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess so.

Do you know what I mean by that? Yeah, I do know what you mean. Yeah, like heartbreaking and poignant. Yeah, and there's a rat that eats through like a dumpster in it as well. It's like a hot, and there's a song, it's a whole thing. Yeah, and there's a small pig in the ocean too. Small pig in the ocean, yeah. Correct.

Yeah, anyway. I would definitely recommend Mark DeBus teaches me things about life and depression. Well worth it. Anyway, yeah, it was a beautiful thing. I didn't know they lived for a year because then like someone's like, lobsters live for 1,000 years. I'm like, cool.

And then they're like, octopus lives for one. And I'm like, what? They're just the most – I didn't realise octopus camouflage and just change colour so much. I knew they were smart but I also was told, and maybe it was a different type of octopus, that they have a very like poor short-term memory. So you can teach them how to open a jar but then like the next day

they won't remember and you have to re-teach them. Well, that didn't seem like that. I mean maybe that's a different type. The octopus was teaching itself how to hunt different creatures and he watched it experiment and experiment to try and figure out how to hunt like lobster and crayfish. Yeah. Because every creature is different and horrible in its own way.

Yeah. And there's sharks hunting it. It's a whole thing, man. Yeah. And just the way her tentacles worked. Yeah. And then, oh, God, the bit where she has babies. I won't spoil it, but the bit where she has babies made me like,

oh, my God, so sad. Yeah. Got a lot of footage as well, this dude. Oh, yeah, incredible. Incredible. The idea of being in the ocean like that is just terrifying to me. But that wasn't, I don't know, it didn't seem that way in this one. I don't know.

It still freaked me out. I mean, it was dangerous. Yeah, really dangerous ocean. But also I think those sort of the seaweed, the kelp forest that he was in, kelp and seaweed I think is incredible and we did that fundraising campaign to regrow kelp forests. How's that going, do you think? Yeah, I don't know with the pandemic.

I haven't checked in recently. I hope the kelp forests don't burn down. Yeah. Anyway, it still freaked me out but I would totally recommend that. All right, that's it. Okay. Hey, man, I bet everybody loved this show and you know what? There's something you can do if you love this show.

You can actually review it in-app. Just open it up, pop in a five stars if you want to, you know what I mean? It's totally up to you. Like this person, Pollen and Soap, who says, this podcast is great. I've been a listener of the Weekly Planet for years now and I just started this one. You and your wife.

Hey, hey, I don't have a name but cool. I've been a listener of the Weekly Planet for years now and I just started this one. You and your wife. Hey. Hey, I don't have a name, but cool. Extremely entertaining, helpful and hilarious. I cracked up at the Meaning of Life episode. Your wife's laughter after calling you frog in pants made me laugh. Made me and my wife laugh for hours. So there you go. Excellent.

Changing wives here. Totally. I would like to know your wife's name. My wife's name, Claire. His wife's name. Oh. excellent. Changing wives here. Totally. I would like to know your wife's name. My wife's name, Claire. His wife's name. Oh. Excellent. No, it said pollen and soap, so presumably he's pollen and she's soap,

or vice versa. Oh, that makes sense. Excellent. Excellent. Cool. All right. You can also email the show with recommendations at suggestiblepod at gmail.com.

We love to get recommendations. This email is from Peter Bobbs. Hi. Almost every week for the last few months, my pregnant wife and I watch documentaries and work on a puzzle. I've started working on a puzzle too. Oh, my God. Have you ever?

Yeah, a suggestion and this email. We're now about six months into the pandemic, seven months into the pregnancy, and on quarantine puzzle number eight. Man, that's intense. This week we started watching The Vow on HBO, which is a look into Scientology group called NXIVM, pronounced NXIVM, and it is extremely engaging and frightening. I'd first heard about this group on James' less successful podcast,

The Weekly Planet, a few years ago. Excuse me, more successful, but go on. All right. In relation to the Smallville actress Alison Mack, and like other self-improvement groups. Oh, yeah, that shit was insane. Yeah, it starts out with bits of truth about self-esteem and visualization but ultimately leads to a hierarchy

where the people in charge have power over the others. Yeah, it's real bad. The doco series has some twists and turns and gets darker and darker as it deep dives into the group. We're three episodes in and completely sold. Also, puzzles are a great activity to do together as a couple and it really leads to a sense of accomplishment when you are done.

Disagree. I doubted at first but now I'm a believer and so on the cult now. Thank you, Peter. And you know what? I have started a puzzle this week and you keep laughing at me because it's kind of making me stressed out. You don't seem like you're enjoying it. It seems like you're going to work, like you're clocking in

and you sit down and you're like and you've got like your mug there, like your coffee. You look like you could have like a cigarette in one hand, a coffee in the other as you're pouring over this puzzle. Well, part of it is because my glass is broke and so I'm doing it with like blurry eyes. But look, it feels. That's called extreme puzzling.

That's like the extreme sport version of puzzles. Look, you've got to get your kicks where you can, mate. Look, I think. I have no patience for that. Do you know why? Do you your kicks where you can, mate. Look, I think. I have no patience for that. Do you know why? Do you want to do it as a couple? No, I don't. I really don't because at the end it's like, oh, shit,

it looks like the picture on the front of the box. What a surprise. No, I'm trying to find hobbies. I think hobbies are good for your mental health. And it was like, you're a dumbass or like something like that. It was like you waste. Like I'm sure they exist but like a surprise puzzle where like it only comes together at the end and it's like,

fuck you, you wasted your time. I'd be like, yeah, fair play, I did. Look, here are the things that I like about it. It feels good for your brain. It feels like you're exercising your brain in a different way and I like that. I like the feeling of the pieces. They're quite satisfying. I like the little tap, tap and it slots in place.

That is very satisfying. Yeah. However, what is stressing me out is it feels like when you're watching a series and you're like four series in or something and there's so many episodes to go and you really need to get to the end because you want to know what happens but you kind of hate it and you've got crumbs on your chest from like watching a thousand episodes, which never happens to me anymore because I have no time to watch TV.

However, remember that feeling? That's kind of the feeling I'm at where I can't stop doing it. I want to get to the end. If you want to know what it is, just look at the box. It's on the box. That's not the point, James. It's the satisfaction of completing it. I'm actually really enjoying it.

I think I'm erring on the side of enjoying it. Would you do 3D puzzles? You know, those ones that are like. No. No? Like you do like the Arc de Triomphe and it's like in 3D. Oh, no. I don't know.

No, they would annoy me because I would be clicking together things. I'm happy with flat. You're right. A thousand pieces, James. A thousand. Well, 998. I think we should do together You're right. A thousand pieces, James, a thousand. Well, 998. I think we should do it together as a couple. I think.

As a birthday prize to me. No, I'm not going to waste my time by doing a puzzle. I would rather lie on my face in the backyard in the dirt. My God, our backyard is literally taking over. I don't want to talk about it. It's stressing me out. It's stressing me out too. We live in a jungle now. We'll talk about it. It's stressing me out. It's stressing me out too. We live in a jungle now.

We'll talk about this backyard, all right? Okay. It's terrifying. All we need to do is trim it back a little bit where it's not as embarrassing and then we can hire a guy for a day. Yeah, we can't hire someone to come over. Here's $200. Fix our yard, please.

I don't think we could have. I think it would cost like maybe even $1,000. That's why I mean like we need to like knock the top off it and then get someone in. It's like if you get a cleaner right, then you clean the house beforehand so you're like I'm not a pig or whatever. You're a totally insane person. Or like, you know, for like hotel rooms or whatever.

There are weeds out there that are taller than us. I went to grab a weed and it was like it was just all barbs and I'm like nah. It's fucking huge. It was like as big as this table. I know. I'm pretty sure it took a swing barbs and I'm like, nah. It's fucking huge. It was like as big as this table. I know. I'm pretty sure it took a swing at me when I came in close. I'm terrified of it because the thing is with our garden,

I used to be the person before I got pregnant, I would just go out there and posher and fix it up, right? However, because I just let it go for like I reckon a good six months, I've not done anything to it. Actually longer because now our baby is four months. So it's probably like ten months. It's probably a year really realistically since anyone has done anything properly to it.

And you've mowed the grass like twice. Well, actually, no, I've mowed the grass a couple of times and I did clear out like the veggie patch at once or something because you were like stressing me out. But it's just come back. It's terrifying. And it's because it's been winter. It's been raining so much.

Anyway, this is not exciting to anyone else. But if we don't hear from us next week, it's because our garden has taken over. We should just pave it. Like at the start, do you remember the intro to Animals of Farthingwood? Do you remember that horrible show where it was just about animals? It was about death mostly. It's like, you know how everything's bad, you're going to die.

That was what that show was about. But the intro was because they get kicked out of their forest. People might remember this from the 90s. But they're just like pouring concrete over the hills. Like they don't even level it. They just like splash and they just like put it down. It's just like hitting trees and like it just goes. I'm like what are you even making here?

You're not going to level it? You're not going to dig a ditch or something? Anyway, what's next? Nothing, isn't it? Let's go. I've got to go pick up something for my parents. He's stressing out about my birthday. Well, I have to go because it's locked down in 20 minutes.

All right. Okay. So long. Bye. Bye. Thanks, Collings. Thanks, Collings, for editing and we've been to Just For Pod. Please follow us.

You can find me at eclair20 on Instagram. You can't find me anywhere. Leave me alone. Goodbye. Bye. Thanks, Collings. Thanks, Collings, for editing. And we've been to just report. Please follow us. You can find me at Eclatonte on Instagram. You can't find me anywhere. Leave me alone. Goodbye. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want.

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