Suggestible - Top Five Regrets You Might've Missed

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

Suggestible things to watch, read and listen to. Hosted by James Clement @mrsundaymovies and Claire Tonti @clairetonti.Sign up to Claire’s weekly bonus newsletters here – tontsnewsletterThis week���s Suggestibles:OxygenInside the Thai cave rescueThose Who Wish Me DeadTop five regrets of the dyingAlice Fraser - Jayde Adams - Flo & JoanSend your recommendations to [e-mail], we’d love to hear them.You can also follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook @suggestiblepod and join our ‘Planet Broadcasting Great Mates OFFICIAL’ Facebook Group. So many things. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Eventually, you're just going to switch it on. It's just two people asleep. Just like that. I'm so sorry. I just snorted to my phone. The voices that you hear currently, I am Claire. James here also. We are married.

This is a suggestible podcast. We recommend you things. And this is like the fourth time we've tried to start this show. Yeah, because we just kept talking over each other and then like awkwardly pausing. Yeah, exactly. Being slightly weird. On the note of having a slightly weird episode, how's your face going? It's pretty good.

It's pretty weird. It's pretty weird, yeah. It is pretty weird. Listen, we've got to get this chemistry right. If we're married, that's got to be translatable into the podcast. Otherwise, what are people listening for? There's nothing worse than you turn on a podcast and just two people going, I think this.

The other person goes, well, I agree or I think a different thing. And you're like, this is boring. A bit more exciting. Someone punch the other person or something. Let's get some fireworks. This is terrible. This is terrible. All right, James, how about I serenade you to get the chemistry going?

That will not work. Because I had the time of my life and I never felt this way before. I never liked that song. Patrick Swayze? I love him. He's dead though. He's dead. Which is very sad.

You can still love him if he's dead. I never liked that song. I always thought it was not a good song. It doesn't surprise me on any level that you didn't like that song because you don't like music very much. No, I like music. I just don't like that song. No, it's just like food, mate.

You don't get it. You don't understand it. You sit here. You accuse me in my own podcast studio of not liking food after I cooked a delicious stew, so delicious in fact that it may be even throwing off the chemistry in this particular episode. I think it's throwing off the chemistry because I ate too much stew. We're both full of stew.

So full of stew. It was delicious. It was slow cooked. It was wonderful and lovely. Wow. You know what they say. And I really. Well, you know what they say. And I really enjoyed it. You know what they say.

Are you sitting in a wrong spot? That's what's happened. Are you sitting in a different spot? No, this is the spot I normally sit in. I feel like you're sitting further away. I don't know. Maybe your eyesight's getting worse. Anyway, look, we recommend things and we're going to do that right now.

Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? You can go first. All right. Well, I watched a French movie. That's right. I'm watching movies from other countries sometimes. Hold on a minute. That means that you could only watch it because it was in with subtitles. So you couldn't be looking at other stuff. Well, I'll get to that because this movie by Alexandre, Alexandre Aja, I don't know, he's French, with a screenplay by Christy LeBlanc.

I don't know French things. I looked it up and there's like multiple different variations on this and all of the pronunciations had like thumbs down. People were like, no, this is wrong. A lot of French words just generally have a lot of extra letters in there. Sure. And it's like Irish names. It's like Sharon except it's spelt A-I-C-T-F-N. That's accurate.

That's very accurate. It's called Oxygen. It's on Netflix. It stars Melanie Laron, who people might know she was in Inglourious Bastards. She's the one who burns down the theater. I don't know if you've seen that movie in a long time. Haven't seen it in a long time. She's a French actress.

She's really good. Anyway, so it starts with a woman wakes up in a box. Breathing. Yes. It's coffin-sized. It's like some kind of sleep pod or a stasis chamber, and maybe she's in there because she's healing. Maybe she's trapped.

Maybe she's been in a coma. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she's been kidnapped. Maybe she's been buried alive. She doesn't know. She's lost her memory, right? So there does have a computer system which she can converse with and kind of call people on the outside world.

But the entire thing is set with some very few kind of flashbacks inside this box. That sounds boring. No, Claire, it's not boring. It's very exciting. So it consists of her then puzzling out where she is, why she's there, trying to preserve oxygen because when she wakes up it's like you've got like 90 minutes left of oxygen, which is like the length of the movie.

So she basically needs to figure out who she is, why she's there, who put her there, for what purpose, and then try to determine either how to escape or how to get more oxygen. So it's kind of like, did you ever see the movie Buried with Ryan Reynolds? Yes, I did see that. So it's like that except it's French, I guess, and different. But, yeah, look, I don't want to spoil it because it unfolds

in a way that it keeps you engaged, you know what I mean, because it is this one location, a box. You'd think it could be, you know, it could very easily get boring but it doesn't. At some point does she get a delivery of baguettes? No, Claire. How about a croissant? No, she's in a box.

Does someone serenade her with a violin? No, she's in a box. Does she wear it? Or at least is she wearing a beret? What other terribly racist stereotypes can I bring up? She's wearing a beret. She's smoking a cigarette. And a little necktie.

But that's not going to help with her oxygen. She's smoking a cigarette. The computer's like, please put out your cigarette. You need to be conserving oxygen. She's like, I do what I want. I smoker this cigarette. I do not care. Were you trying to say cigarette in a French, like a French way,

like what they say, how they say cigarettes? I fuck a cigarette. If I'm one of them, the long stems, you'll see them in movies. This is just getting worse and worse as every second passes. I'm running out of oxygen. So here's the thing though, right? It's subtitled obviously, but you can also turn it to English language. So it would just be in English and it's got actors like doing all the parts in English if you were so inclined,

which I tried out and I'm like, I don't like this as much, but you can do it. You can do it. It still works. So no spoilers because it unfolds quite rapidly. It definitely keeps your attention. It's on Netflix. You can check it out right now. It's well worth a look, I think. And I don't really want to say much else about it. All right.

But it's really, I really enjoyed it. That's so interesting because I'm trying to, I'm struggling to see how it could be interesting. I guess flashbacks would help. So she got amnesia. Yeah, it's part of like why she's in there and all this other. Is it spooky? Yeah, a little bit.

Because I'm claustrophobic. Like how big is this box? Can she stand up? No, she's like lying down. Oh, my God, that's my worst nightmare. It's probably, it's like slightly bigger than a coffin. Are you claustrophobic? I am like if I'm trapped in a small thing.

In a small box and running out of oxygen. But generally not really, no. So does that mean that you could do, you know, when they do those like caving tours and stuff where people go through very tight rocks, boxes, squeezes, tunnel things in the water? I have no interest in any of that. So there's the above ground one obviously which would be a bit better but that underwater caving, never in a million years.

No way. And the way that people like just disappear and you've got to be watching your oxygen the whole time and you've got to keep your bearings and if you don't, like you'll just run out of oxygen and you'll just die underwater. I know. Panic. Remember that story of the boys in the Thai cave, the soccer players?

And then one of the guys was trying to get them out. Elon Musk called him a pedophile. Yeah, I remember. Oh, God. Well, anyway, I read a book one of the guys was trying to get him out. Elon Musk called him a pedophile. Yeah, I remember. Oh, God. Well, anyway, I read a book about that and it was kind of fascinating and incredibly and also the documentary on that story is just incredibly amazing. I mean the intricacy of what they had to accomplish about, you know, they had to put, I can't even remember how many kids it was.

I'm going to butcher this story. But regardless. Was it nine? Yeah, I think it was about nine. Yeah. And they had to squeeze them through these tiny, tiny tunnels and they anaesthetised the kids in order to do it and they just thought there is no way that these kids will survive.

Oh, there you go. Yeah, and there's no way that these kids will survive and they got out every single one. I mean, I just think. Insane. Insanely incredible. Yeah. I know, Just amazing.

There's a really interesting show on the ABC with a comedian called Arne Doe and he paints. Hey, Arne. Yeah, yeah. You know, Arne Doe's Brush With Fame. Yeah, he's great. And he does these – he's a comedian. He's also a writer.

He's written – I think it's called The Happiest Refugee, which is his gorgeous book. But he paints people while he interviews them and I love it. I just think it's so good. And he interviews one of the doctors. Oh, really? They're an anesthetist, I think, and a doctor who was a cave diver who saved those boys.

And some of the things he tells you is just wild. Just those spaces that they were squeezing through. Yeah, and pitch black, like they couldn't see anything. So they're just kind of relying completely on touch in order to get through. Yeah. Which is just incredibly harrowing because I get so claustrophobic. I get claustrophobic in tunnel slides. Yeah.

So I can't even fathom that. Is that because you got stuck on a water slide once? It's because you were the first one down the water slide and you weren't wet, Claire. And also I had little chubby little thighs and I got stuck halfway and all the boys at my swimming lesson called me fatty and like said, she got stuck in the water slide. It was mortifying and everyone backed up behind me and I had to like

wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle all the way down to the end. You know all those boys though, they all died in a car accident so it doesn't matter. No. You don't have to think about them anymore. They're all in the one van and it just went off a cliff. That's terrible. They're poor families.

But also. Suck it. Exactly. No, not really. I don't mean that. I don't even know who they were. I'm sure they were lovely. They didn't know.

They just ran into a little girl stuck on a water slide. No, that's not why I got close to Robbie because that's an open air water slide. This was when I went to a McDonald's playground and they had those, like, plastic tunnel things and I got lost in one and my dad had to come and get me and it was terrifying. Anyway, I'm really terrible with small, tight spaces. So is it my turn now? I would love for you to talk about Those Who Wish Me Dead,

which I know you want to talk about this week. Those Who Wish Me Dead? The movie we watched yesterday, the HBO Max movie. Oh, God, that is the worst bloody thing I've ever seen. No, Clay, it was a very good movie. We both agreed at the time it was a good movie. It just didn't make any sense. Okay, I'm so confused by so many things in that movie,

one of which being The Lightning Strikes. I feel like it was like three movies in one. Yeah. The Lightning Strikes in that film. Are we going to talk about this? Okay, fine. Let's talk about it. Angelina Jolie stars in this.

What even is it? An action movie? I think it would be like you compare it to like a 90s action movie like a Twister or an Air Force One. No, because those are good. Yeah, but there were a lot of those that weren't good and it falls more in that category. Yeah, okay.

Some kids died in a fire or something. She's a firefighter. She's a firefighter, a fire chief, and she's traumatised by that. And they're in, where are they? In Montana. Montana. In the mountains. Yeah, she decides to take a year to stay in a fire tower instead,

to like be a lookout. And in the meantime, a man and his son comes to the town because he knows some kind of secrets for a crime family. And someone that he told then got blown up or something in their own mansion. So he's on the run from two hired killers. The kid ends up finding out the secret and getting loose and converging with Angelina Jolie who's like, I know you, I'll look after you and I'm just one of the boys.

I'm sitting with all these tough boys. Oh, my God, it's so the worst. I'm having a beer with these boys and I'm a. Such a weird beginning. And then you never see those firefighter mates again until the very end. But the whole time she's like sexily drinking a beer and everyone's like, oh, she's just like one of the boys. She's just like one of us.

Extraordinarily beautiful and slightly alien-looking. You wouldn't bloody kick this one out of bed for fighting, but she's our boss and we respect her. Yes, but she's kind of tortured. Okay, the thing that annoys me the most about Angelina Jolie's character in this film is a trope that I have noticed through so many films. For some reason, whenever they put a woman like that in charge, in like a kick-ass role, nine times out of ten she's mentally deranged

and she's going to cry at some point. Yeah. And she's been traumatised by some deep, dark secret or some dark thing that happened in her past. And, yes, I know that a lot of characters, like male characters in those roles, that can also happen to. But it also really impedes her ability to do her job, which it doesn't normally with the main guy, right?

Yeah. He tends to be badass and kick-ass anyway, whereas often the female character ends up having some trauma thing that ends up meaning that she like makes errors and makes mistakes and it's really bloody annoying because it's not actually a storyline that happens in real life all the time. She doesn't really seem to make mistakes. She also, there's multiple like just unexplained lightning strikes

that seem to target her specifically. Yeah, it's weird. And so they're trying to do the diehard thing where also she's injured from two separate lightning strike encounters. In the same movie she's hit by lightning nearly twice and then once. And her house is hit by lightning as well? Yeah, the tower that she's staying in. Yeah, it's so weird.

So they're kind of dieharding her because her feet are burnt and her hands are kind of a bit burnt or whatever. But then these contract killers who are after this kid, they don't come into contact with her until like the very end. So there's this like climactic battle but it's like these people haven't met because there's a side story with John Barenthal, who's great, and his wife whose name I don't know, but she's pregnant, where they come into contact with,

thank you if you could look that up, they come into contact with the killers. What's it called? Those Who Wish Me Dead. And that story is really interesting. And the pregnant wife has like an encounter with them in the house, which is like really tense and like really creative. And that story I found really engaging.

Then it cuts over to this weird kind of parenting situation with Angelina Jolie and this kid. All right, so I found her name. Great, great. It's Medina Senghor. Yes. And she is the most interesting character, I think, because the storyline there, and it's only a side kind of storyline, is that they're survivalists.

But it's pretty, it is a significant chunk of the movie, though. Like it's sort of a side story story but it's like at least a third of the movie I would say. Yeah, but is it though? Because like I don't know, they show one scene of their relationship because she's married to a cop. Yeah. So they show that scene where they kind of build

up their relationship slightly and the fact that she's six months pregnant and they mention they're survivalists and then it cuts away and then the next second you see these two contract killers try to like, you know, shoot her or whatever and then she ends up being this incredibly badass character. It's a really good scene. It's a really great scene and it's really surprising because you don't see it coming.

Like I couldn't watch because I thought, oh, my God, they're going to shoot the pregnant woman or torture her or something and it is. It seems like that's what's going to happen. And then, spoiler alert completely, she flips it, bloody fires them or whatever, gets fire all over their faces and then gets a rifle from somewhere and then disappears. Yeah.

And that's so cool. And she's like six months pregnant. Yeah, and then she goes and tracks her husband. And I think they're the most interesting part of the whole movie. I think they're also the best actors as well. And as I said to you as well, it would have been a better movie if Angelina Jolie wasn't in it at all. Correct.

And if it was just the kid in the wilderness on his own and these two and the contract killers who's Nicholas Holt and Littlefinger, whose name I forget. Absolutely because the whole Angelina Jolie storyline doesn't play and it doesn't help anything and it seems very unlikely that she would A, be a firefighter in the woods in that, I don't know, it just seems like on her own and then there's this giant forest fire.

I mean, it's a job, like it's a real job. Yeah, I know, but it just seems like, I just mean the character of Angelina Jolie as a human being. Yeah. Look. She doesn't look like she fits in with like everybody else in this movie. No, that's what I mean. Like she's so incredibly, incredible looking as a human being.

It just seems implausible. And then, okay, this is the other thing that annoys me. For some unknown reason, she is not in a romantic role at all in this film. Like there's no like sexual tension. There's nothing in there. Except multiple times she takes her shirt off. Oh, yeah. To show her bra for no reason.

And she's the only one. And she's the only one that does it. And then in the like climactic scene where they like have to escape this massive forest fire, she's wearing a white long-sleeved top that completely goes see-through in the water. So then you see her bra through it again. Yeah. For why?

I know. It's just like so dumb. Also there's a forest fire raging. Yeah, correct. And the last battle that they have with her, she has like an encounter. They're like, why don't you give up the kid? You don't even know him or whatever. And it's like, as I mentioned, there's no stakes because it's like you guys

don't even know each other. You have no connection. There's no hatred kind of between you because you've never met each other. And she keeps talking about how fast the fire's moving and it's just not. Like they're just in front of a wall of flames and they're just kind of punching each other or whatever. I know.

And also because they're so close to it that the ash is like filtering through the screen and like embers of trees are glowing everywhere. They're so close to it that the ash is like filtering through the screen and like embers of trees are glowing everywhere. They're so close to it that they would all have died from smoke inhalation or, you know, heat stroke or whatever long before they even got there. It's just completely ridiculous. You know, it's frustrating as well because I think it's nearly great. I think with a few like adjustments, namely remove that character entirely, I think it could be a really like solid action kind of drama movie.

Yeah, it's interesting. But, yeah, I think you'd have to take out Angelina Jolie and the weird lightning strikes thing. I don't even think she's bad in it. Like she's not bad. I'm not saying she's bad. No, I think she's great in it. I just mean her storyline and the weird lightning strikes are just so not bad. No, she's not. I'm not saying she's bad. No, I think she's great in it. I just mean her storyline and the weird lightning strikes

are just so not necessary. Yeah. All that weird, all the firefighters come back again. It's just like so strange. Yeah, boss, what are you bloody doing out here? I was like what was he trying to do with the film? That's what I don't quite understand because I get like the idea of the fire because of what everyone's been through

over the last few years, the fire being a central part of like the whole action sequence, I get. It doesn't. But it doesn't work in this context. Well, the level of threat is kind of not really established because it's the most dangerous thing you've ever seen, but then it's like it's not until it needs to be for the story. And it's so a giant fire.

Yeah. But yet, so I think there's like too many stories they're trying to tell. Either focus on the fire like in Twister, like the central whole thing of it is the tornado. Big fire in Twister, yeah. Yeah. But, you know, like make a film about a big fire and have Angelina Jolie be a firefighter in there. Maybe throw a few more women in the firefighting team.

No, just all blokes being like, this bloody, this bird's like us. This bloody bird. So freaking out. She's crazy. She's crazy. There's literally no other women in the firefighting, the whole crew. It's just so strange. That's what I'm saying.

You just remove all that. That's what I mean. And you keep the survival stuff. Yeah, so you either do the survivalist stuff with the whole, I don't know, accountant espionage like contract killer stuff. Yeah, that's pretty solid, yeah. Yeah, that's quite scary. Or you do an action movie with a big fire as the central focus.

You can't do both. Anyhoo. Just quickly, the director of this, Tyler Sheridan, he wrote Hella High Water which is an incredible modern Western. He directed Wind River which is really good. It's got Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen and Yellowstone as well which is a Western with I think it's on Stan here, but it's got Kevin Costner.

So he's good. Like I genuinely like his stuff, which is why I was a bit kind of surprised at how bad it was. How I didn't really, and I wonder whether how much of this was like a vanity project and then you get everybody's people involved and it's like, you know, because it's Angelina Jolie, you're going to make certain, you know, exceptions. Because you only make so many movies and it's like, you know, because it's Angelina Jolie, you've got to make certain, you know, exceptions. Because you only make so many movies and there's creative control

that she would have which then maybe clashes with the overall narrative which maybe it doesn't. Those things don't come together. Like maybe you make it entirely Angelina Jolie focused or you do the other thing but these two things together don't seem to. To fit. Coalesce. Totally.

Anyway, that's not what you were going to don't seem to. To fit. Coalesce. Totally. Anyway, that's not what you were going to talk about. No. All right. Normally we talk about things that we like. I think it's worth watching because I think it's pretty funny and it's pretty entertaining, genuinely. It is. Because it's like really confusing.

It's just there's a moment where she just leaps off the tower as a lightning hits it and it's like what the fuck. I know. And then there's a moment where they're running across the field and it's like and they're ducking lightning and she gets fully fucking hit. She gets hit because when she takes her top off, I'm all right, boys. You see like that lightning scar kind of thing?

Yeah, and through the bottoms of her feet. It's crazy. It's just like so confusing. And he's like, you all right? Did you get hit? She's like, I didn't get hit. I'm like, no, you fucking got hit. You got hit by lightning.

Yeah, and I feel like the other part of it too is I guess there's supposed to be a redemptive story arc for her. No, it doesn't work. But it doesn't work, does it? Like some boys died in a fire that she made a mistake on and then she sort of saves this boy from being murdered by contract killers. Yeah.

Like it just doesn't work as an arc. Yeah. You know? It doesn't unless like the arc would be if she was faced with another fire and then saved the town or something, you know, or I don't know, whatever. I don't know if that's necessarily the case. I think those two things work but it doesn't in this for reasons I don't.

I understand. I think there was too many conflicting storylines. It's pretty funny though. So the stakes weren't – yeah, because the stakes of the fire, you just never got a sense of how dangerous the fire was. You really didn't. And from listening to interviews with people who've recently been through those terrifying bushfires, yeah, you just didn't get any kind

of sense of how the gravity and the loss of life and the loss of wildlife, you know, it just doesn't. At the end when she comes out of the fire, she's got like two like. Oh, yeah. She's got like that panda eyes. But it just seems like she's just smeared soot in her, but just in her eye socket. Yeah, it's such a strange.

Very weird. Like it's like someone's got, she's gone to like. You said stage makeup. Yeah, it looks like she someone's got, she's gone to like a kid. You said stage makeup. Yeah, it looks like she's gone into, she's like in a school play for Mary Poppins. Yeah. And she's trying to be a chimney sweep. I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. Or like she's gone to some kid's party face painter and gone, please make it look like I was burnt in a fire. I need you to make me look like I fought contract killers in a bushfire place. Correct. Yeah, exactly. It's just like really bizarre. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now.

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I would love to hear it. I have to but I'm going to save the other one for next week because we're swiftly running out of time. Okay. This is a very old article from The Guardian. Okay. It's called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, which I know, stick with me, it sounds like it'll be depressing, right? It does.

It's strange. But it's because I follow Lucy Peach Peach who I've talked a bit about before who's an artist, a musician, and she talks a lot about period power and lots of different things. Sure. But she was running a workshop recently where they discussed these particular five things of the regrets of the dying. Yeah, so Lucy was looking at these and she wrote something

on Instagram that really hit a chord with me and I thought it was really interesting. Do you mean struck a chord? Yes, struck a chord, hit a chord. I don't know. Just a nail on the head. You know music. Can you hit a chord?

Yeah, you can hit it. You can hit it, man. Hit it. What would you say? Hit a chord. Musicians will say that. Hit it. No, but they hit a chord but they would like Paul McCartney

be like john hit a chord yeah i reckon john ringo ringo shut up anyway sorry go on john's about to hit a chord yeah i reckon you would say that i don't think people are hitting any chords anyway sorry go on right you do like to mix metaphors i enjoy it's one of my favorite things about you you have many, many things. Just because I can correct you and be like, excuse me. No, sorry, go on. Right, I'm going to hit the nail on the shed.

We have a shed. We have a shed. We do. We have two birds in the bush that's the same as throwing stones in glass houses. That's interesting. That's interesting. Let the old dog lie in a barrel of fish.

Is that a good idea? Who knows? You should lie in a barrel. You're old. I would love that. All right. My favorite gag recently, last night after we finished watching that ridiculous movie. Hey, it was a good movie.

I said to you. That plant. Look at that, James. That's named after you. And it was called the gray one. It was mean. I got so much joy out of that. That plant's been sitting in our James, that's named after you and it was called the grey one. It was mean. I got so much joy out of that. That plant's been sitting in our living room for a whole year.

I ran to the bathroom and I cried for an hour, but she's now bringing this up on this show. You're a gentle soul. You're a gentle soul. Okay, can I continue? You derailed. No, I derailed. All right, okay, so these are the five top regrets of the dying

and I want to know first, what do you think they would be? More time with family probably. Follow passions more. Get a gun. Get a gun. Good one. What else would there be? Be cool as you can.

Learn to roll a skate. Learn to laugh. Have more fun. All right, you're going to hate this now. Hot air balloons. I thought this was really interesting. I wanted to talk to you about this. Anyway, so the first number one is I wish I'd had the courage to live a life

true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Oh, sick. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, which I really love that. Most people are not honoured even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they'd made or not made. Jesus. Yeah, I know, which I think is like this.

So this was done by a palliative care nurse. So she's an Australian nurse, Bonnie Ware, and she interviewed a lot of patients about this. Sure. Which I think that's just so sad. But I think it rings really true, right, that people don't have the courage necessarily. It's hard because of the expectations of other people around them.

Definitely. Not because they couldn't do things but because they were worried about what other people would think. Do you think that's why Banksy is anonymous? So he's like, I don't want people to think this is shit. Yeah, he's probably like an accountant or something. I think he's an artist, isn't he? Yeah, but also.

No, but accountant by day. He would be. That would be insane if he's selling me. Yeah, he's bloody loaded. Okay, anyway, can I continue? That would be the most Banksy thing to just be like, I've just been pretending to be an accountant just for art. Just an excellent accountant. Not even, just a very average accountant. Yeah. True. All right. Okay. Number two. Okay. Sorry. I'm interested. Yeah. Go on. Right. Okay. So now I've got you in. So I

thought that was really interesting, that first one. The second was, I wish I'm interested. Yeah, go on. Right, okay, so now I've got you in. So I thought that was really interesting, that first one. The second was I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Yeah, fair enough. So she said this was particularly from every male patient that she nursed rather than female. Women spoke of this regret but not as much in terms of working in a job because I think particularly with the older generation, men nursed really deeply held regrets that they worked on the treadmill

for a long time, you know, on that like nine to five thing, thinking without seeing a lot of their kids basically and spending time with their friends. Yeah, I thought that was really, really interesting and depressing. But I think the reason I'm mentioning these is because the flip side of it is it's a reminder of like the fact that we're all going to die one day so we bloody well get on with doing stuff that we want to do, right?

Not me. And valuing things more. Okay, so number three. Number three, I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. To just in general? Do you want me to explain? So many people suppress their feelings in order to keep the peace with others and as a result they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of

becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment that they carried as a result. That's why it's important to lash out at everybody you know at all times. That's how you live your life, mate. That's how you roll. I do. No, I think what it's saying really is- Speak your truth. Yeah, no, but more than that, I can see it in a lot of, you know, people I've met or around me. They hold on to grudges.

They hold on to things that have happened to them in the past and instead of actually, you know, processing it, either talking to the person out loud about what was being, what was difficult so they could both move forward, they bitch about it all behind their backs to their friends or to people in their family and then they carry that for their whole lives rather than processing, acknowledging their kind of part in the whole thing, maybe having some really difficult, we call them critical conversations

when we were in teaching. It would be a critical conversation where you're both being honest and vulnerable and saying how you really think and feel about something so that you can get closure and move forward. But you just see it all the time. I think people get stuck in these thought loops about blaming others for everything. I completely agree.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm just thinking about all the people that I hate. Yeah, you really do hold a grudge for a long time. No, that's not true. I mean, people think that I'm full of grudges and things. Because you are. No, that's the thing.

I remember stuff, but, like, I don't care. Like, it doesn't keep me up at night. You told me when we first started dating you had an arch nemesis. I'd never met anyone. That wasn't a real arch nemesis. That was a guy who used to throw fruit from the bus when I was in high school. That was a friendly rivalry, which he was definitely not arch nemesis. That was a guy who used to throw fruit from the bus when I was in high school. That was a friendly rivalry which he was definitely not a willing participant of.

You told me he had an arch. That's the exact phrase you used, arch nemesis. I don't know where he is. I hope he's safe. But if I fucking find you, you get an apple to the back of the head, mate. I do know what you mean. So you're saying that you have a lot of. I think it's funny to be like, remember this thing and. Oh, yeah.

But you're not. But I don't really. Because quite frankly, like, and not to brag, but like, I feel like I'm doing all right and I'm happy and I've got you and kids and a house and I like my family and friends. And so I'm like, I don't give a shit, to be honest. Like, I guess if I probably wasn't doing well, it would probably bother me more.

But honestly, I'm just like, yeah, this is all right. But I also think that that's probably because you don't, you're not holding onto it as a form of like blaming other people for where you're at in life or, you know, like I don't think you hold things deeply and turn them into like bitterness and resentment. I think you hold on to them for the comedy gold that they, you know, contain. Probably, yeah. But also the things that happen I don't think are, you know,

I think you can let things go and not ruminate. Whereas I do think some people do really and, I mean, I've been guilty of this too. You can get stuck thinking about something that someone's done to you or something that's happened to you and you can just keep going back to it over and over and over and over. And you see it in people in their later years who just tell that same story about that same person or that same thing.

And I would have done this. Yeah, and I would have done that and I can't believe it. And if this hadn't happened to me then da-da-da. And it's so easy. Well, it did and you've got to – and it sucks but like – Yeah, so anyway, I just like that idea of being able to rather than – Do you hold any grudge? I don't think – I don't remember things well enough to really –

I don't genuinely. I don't really. I mean like no, no, I don't because I don't really remember things. Sometimes you get mad at me for making you watch things. I feel like you want to lash out at me that I made you watch that Angelina Jolie five-star movie. No, that was fun. There was that bit.

It's just mainly when the pregnant woman was getting beaten up, I couldn't handle that. That's true. That was like that's what got me out of The Handmaid's Tale in that scene in the supermarket. I was like and I'm done. And also I think I yelled at you about it. Yeah. Like, and I was like, yeah, I actually directed this scene. So it's fair enough that you would be angry at me. This show that we both like and watch, this is my fault actually. You know what I genuinely, this is maybe going to make me sound arrogant,

because I wear my heart on my sleeve so often, I generally don't, I don't, and for better or worse, and I'm sure people don't like this about me as well, I generally, if I've been really upset with someone, I've told them. Yeah. And I've told them how it made me feel and why it has and then I try and just let it go. Yeah, you are good like that.

Yeah. And often maybe you'll talk to me or somebody else about it like beforehand. But, yeah, you are pretty good at letting people know. Yeah. Where you're at. And without exploding. But sometimes exploding. Oh, totally.

Sometimes, oh, my God, absolutely. Sometimes exploding and being really mad and, you know, all of those things obviously. The dog's here. The dog's here. The dog's coming in. But generally, and I do think it's scary beforehand, but you always feel better.

Yeah, definitely. If you can do it in a way that isn't. Your relationship with that person can move forward or end if need be. Yeah, and I think that's the other part if you realise that friendships are for a reason or a season rather than for life necessarily. Rather than a grieving or a season. Anyway, so I think that's such an important thing to remember. All right, number four. Are we ready? Yeah. I wish I had think that's such an important thing to remember. That was number three though, right? All right, number four.

Are we ready? Yep. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, often they would not truly realise. Why do you always give me a look at the end of these? You're like, I don't hold any grudges. I should have stayed in touch with my friends, James, specifically,

who slowly abandons all these friends as he gets older because he's a weird hermit. See, all I'm saying, James, is that I'm listening to all these things to remind you that one day you'll be dead so be nicer. No. You'll be bloody dead. No, but what I thought was interesting about this is that I think particularly these answers were given from a lot of men more than women. Yeah.

And I think that's something to really reflect on. I think generally for some reason in a big generalisation, women tend to be better at A, expressing their feelings and B, thinking about life a bit holistically. Not always. Yeah. No, I agree. And they're also investing in their friendships.

Yeah, and health. Yeah, totally. Because my dad recently came out of, he had an operation and he had physio afterwards. He's fine, not to get into specifics of it, but afterwards he was like, yeah, there were like no men my age like in the physio unit. And I'm like, yeah, because they were fucking dead. They don't get checked up and then they're like, yeah,

you had a heart attack and you're dead. Or, no, you had a stroke like four years ago and you didn't go to the doctor or whatever. Yeah. Because we had to like physically like, not physically make it, dead or no, you had a stroke like four years ago and you didn't go to the doctor or whatever. Yeah. So, cause we had to like physically, like not physically make it, but we were like, do the physio. It's like, I don't want to do this.

It's like fucking do it. Do the physio. Yeah, exactly. And the whole time he didn't want to do that. But then afterwards he felt so much better. Just between you and me, I'm really glad I did the physio. I'm like, yeah, I know. Yeah. And your mom is so great. Cause that's the other part. I think your mom is so between you and me, I'm really glad I did the physio. I'm like, yeah, I know. Yeah, and your mum is so great because that's the other

part. I think your mum is so health conscious and is always concentrating on eating really well and exercising and doing all the things and she's always like, she's kind of dragging your dad. No more ice cream, which like, you know, I think is great. She's like, oh man. Yeah, exactly. But in the end, it's the way she

shows, you know, that she loves him. Like torturing him. No, but they're in very good health, you know, and I think it really does show. So, yeah, you're right. I think generally big generalisation and maybe it's a generational thing. I wonder. I do think women, like if you look at our gym, for instance,

I often look around. There's like two blokes and mostly women. Yeah, but it's also because we go during the day as well. Yeah, but I went tonight at like 5 o'clock and there were still only two dudes. Okay. What were their names? Kremlin and Chonky. Oh, they're my favourite.

We work out together. Sometimes I get them to spot me when I'm doing squat. I know about Chonky. I've got a real grudge against him. Me too, actually. I'm going to have to go express my feelings at him. I'm going to drop a weight on his neck. Oh, God, that escalated very quickly.

Well, he knows what he did. Anyways, number five. Number five. My only regret is that I have bonitis. It's a Futurama joke, Dory. Sorry, go on. What's the fifth one? Number five is I wish that I'd let myself be happier.

I thought you were going to say I wish I'd let myself go. Just be like, fuck it, I'm blowing out. I'm eating five chocolate mousses on the television couch. I'm blowing out on the television couch. That's a couch made of a television. That sounds very uncomfortable. Or a genius because you can just stare at a television while you sit on it. You're sitting on the screen because it's made of a television.

Yeah, but you can lie on it. You can just put your cheek against it. Oh, that sounds awful. Nobody wants this. Anyway, what was it really? Oh, God. Because I've forgotten. I thought I'd come up with a million-dollar idea.

I wish that I had let myself be happier. Okay. Okay, so this is the one that Lucy talked about a lot. I love it. And I know it sounds kind of silly, like I wish I'd be happy. It's not I wish I'd been happier. It's I wish I let myself. And it's surprisingly common.

Many people did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice and they'd stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. So the so-called comfort of familiarity overflowed into their emotions as well as their physical lives and fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves that they were content when deep within they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. Okay, yeah. Yeah, and I just think that this is so common.

I think often our brains don't let us be happy. I think sometimes we stand in our own way of it. Yeah. And it's not about if we had that bigger place or that bigger car or better friends or different family. or that bigger car or better friends or different family. It's about just allowing yourself in the moment to really enjoy what you're doing and really enjoy that sandwich or that laugh and just be silly and not take everything so bloody seriously all the time.

Yeah, I don't know. I just think, and I don't know, maybe growing up Catholic as well, this particularly hit home with me because I feel like the Catholic kind of mentality seems to be constant kind of guilt and misery and give everything away you shouldn't have. And torturing yourself and like you're born with sin already before you've even started. Yeah, it's pretty rough.

Yeah, and there's some beautiful things about Catholicism too and I do believe in giving back so much to others and the social justice and the taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. All those things are really important. But I think that in the end, it doesn't cost anything to just drop those rocks you're carrying and go, oh, yeah, I'm allowed to just enjoy this.

I'm allowed to lean into joy and be happy. Anyhoo. How's that working out for you? I'm allowed to just enjoy this. I'm allowed to lean into joy. Yep. And be happy. Anyhoo. How's that working out for you? I'm giving it a bell. I'm definitely getting in there on the silliness stakes. That's true. You're the stupidest person I know. Well, you've got a silly nose.

What did you say to me? You heard me. Oh, actually I did. You spelt me with your silly nose. That's all right. I had another thing as well, but let's just save them for next week, eh? Sounds good. I feel like we've exhausted conversation, so let's call it a day.

But before we do that, do you know people can review this show? Get out of town. It's as easy as this. You open up your app. Leave. Seriously, get out of town. I have a grudge against you. No, this is where I live.

And it's all about opening that up and hopefully giving us a five-star review or whatever you feel is a comfortable five stars, preferably like to me, Fune, who says, clickety-clack, back on track. Huh, that was easy. Wonderful people, wonderful pod. Five stars. Easy as that. Really helps the show.

And if you don't even want to review the show, if you could recommend this to somebody, that would be terrific because that's really how podcasts grow, isn't it, Claire? Correctamundo. We want to become the biggest podcast in the world, inexplicably. We want to get to the top and then people look at it and go, what the fuck is what? What do you mean?

This isn't even good. Like that's where I want to be at. Do you know what I mean? Correct. Inexplicably number one. Like a lightning strike in a field. Yeah. That's what people are like.

They're like this is inexplicable. Is that Angelina Jolie? Lightning strike. Goodness gracious. Yeah. That's what people are like. They're like, this is inexplicable. Is that Angelina Jolie? Lightning strike. Goodness gracious. Movie. All right. Well, on that note, if you would also like to send us your recommendations because we're bloody scraping the bottom of the old barrel with no,

we've got plenty of recommendations. However, we would love some of yours. Or just write to us. Tell us a story. We would love to hear from you. You can also send a voice memo if you like. Haven't had one of those in a while. We love one.

You can have your voice on the show. That's right. Pretty bloody cool. And get in now because we're going to be number one and you're going to be kicking yourself when it gets to number one and you're like, I could have been on the show. We're manifesting. We're manifesting it. We're secreting it.

You know that book, The Secret? We're secreting it. Okay. So you can write in just like Craig has. Craig, what are you writing? Some big old belly laugh suggestions. Don't I love that? Yes.

Got to get them in, mate, because that's your dying regret. Don't be regretting nothing when you're dying. I don't regret anything except all my choices. I was going to say something really mean, but no, I'll just say I love you. Okay. Well, now that's worse because it's like I thought a thing about you but I'm not going to tell you because you can't handle it.

Okay, can I read this lovely email from Craig? I would love to hear it. You can email us at suggestwithbutterchimmy.com. Hi, Claire and James, order of importance. Ha, got him. Already love the email, Craig. Excellent work. Well, I don't.

I'd like to suggest three. Yes, three comedy specials on the old Amazon Prime. I love a comedy special. What have we got? Firstly, Alice Frazier's Savage, a heartbreaking and hilarious show you may have already seen or heard of, but it's utterly fantastic and well worth a watch. Brings some tissues.

I have not seen that. Secondly, Jade Adams' Serious Black Jumper, which is a truly hilarious show. I cannot recommend it enough. And thirdly, Flo and Joan, a comedy music act with two incredibly talented women. Some of the funniest songs and performances I've seen. Get them in your ears and eyes. Also, a bonus suggestion is an amazing little podcast about ramblings

of a brilliantly intelligent woman and her husband who is slowly having a mental breakdown over things like the sky, tooth fairies, and how beer is a conspiracy. I like that. I think Craig has been buttering me up and guess what? I'm here for it. You're all about being buttered up so you can slip on down that water slide.

No one will be laughing at you then. A chunky little girl covered in butter slipping down a water slide. I would have loved that, to be fair. I love butter. Gotcha, says Craig. Anyways, thank you both so much for entertaining us every week. Without fail, you're more important to us listeners in this crazy, scary and wonderful world than you'll ever know.

Big high fives and a glass of warm milk. Ooh, delicious. All the best. Keep being amazing, Craig. Thank you very much, Craig. I know that was pretty hair, pretty hair, pretty Claire heavy, that email, and that obviously I don't appreciate. But regardless, thank you.

Look, I think the listeners know who's reading the emails, James. They certainly do. I think they've cottoned on. And I will take a compliment wherever it comes. You've got to get them. You've got to lean into the joy and the silliness, mate. I don't want to. All right, it's time to go.

Also, I have a newsletter. If you'd like to subscribe, it comes out every Friday, sometimes morning, sometimes night, depending on how much I've had to drink. No, how much I have had on during the week. And you can subscribe in the link below. It's free. It's a little bit of extra bonus recommendations and a download from my brain. Fantastic stuff. All right, guys, thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. And remember,

if you've got a grudge, lash out at that person. You'll feel better. Let them know exactly what's going on. You fucking tell them what's up. You'll be like, this is on my mind. Stop busting my chops. I'm coming at you. James. Yeah. Coming at you. What? Yeah, I've got so many things to tell you. I don't want you. James. Yeah. Coming at you. What? Yeah, I've got so many things to tell you.

I don't want to know. We're off pod though. Oh, good. That means I can pretend to listen instead of act. Imagine if I'd been holding a grudge against you for our entire length of our relationship. I would love that. I'd be like, what a pleasant surprise.

Lucky for you, I don't have a good enough memory. You're always keeping it fresh. You never know what to expect. All right. Big love to you guys out there. Thanks, Colleen. Thanks, always keeping it fresh. You never know what to expect. All right. Big love to you guys out there. Thanks, Colleen, for editing as always. Bye. Bye.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. Hi, I'm Jessie Cruikshank from the number one comedy podcast, you. easy it would be until I did it. If you have a spare room, you could Airbnb it. Or your whole place could be an Airbnb. It's a great way to make a little extra money by doing not a lot, which frankly is my mantra in 2024. To learn more, go to Airbnb.ca slash host.