Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 02/06/22 Nothing to Fear: Inadequacy

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

Homily from the Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time. The fear of being inadequate is the fear that I won't be able to rise to the challenge. Fear is a gift. It is meant to keep us alive. But it can also keep us from living. There are two sources of fear are our biology and the stories we tell ourselves. We may not be able to change our biology, but we can change the stories we tell. Mass Readings from February 6, 2022: Isaiah 6:1-8 Psalm 138:1-5, 7-81 Corinthians 15:1-11 Luke 5:1-11

So if you were here with us last week, we started a new series, it's our first series of the spring semester. And we started the series because of the reality that there's something that marks our lives. I mean, there can be, we said this last week, there can be things in our lives that we know we're called to do, things that we know we're made for, made to do. There can even be things that we want to do in our lives that we don't do for one reason. And the reason is because of fear.

We're just afraid. And that, yes, fear has the ability to cause us to fight, cause us to flee, also causes us to freeze. And so so many times, we can be presented with, again, something we want and just not do that thing we want because we're paralyzed by fear. And so we talked about the quote from Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, which is interesting because I've been reflecting on that for the last couple weeks, you know, getting ready for this. And I'm like, yes, that's true. It's also not true. Right? The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Sometimes that's true. And I think about when it's

true, like when I was a kid and we had to go up and change into our pajamas like children do. So I would run up upstairs where no one was into the dark. And I'd race with my older brother. And it was one of those things where we were terrified to run up into our bedrooms. The place we would be spending the entire night, by the way, and change quick and then race down because we just wanted to, we were afraid of the dark. I don't know anyone who's ever died because of the dark, but we were so terrified. And again, Franklin Delano could have used FDR at that point. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself at the same. time, there are things in this world that can kill us. In fact, if you kind of look around,

it's like we live in a world that's trying to actively kill us, that no one of us gets out of your life. The world is going to kill us. So in some ways, like, yeah, FDR, you're kind of right. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. At the same time, we live in a dangerous world. And that's actually, that's actually why we have fear. That's the reason we have fear. The reason why God gave us the gift of fear is because fear exists to keep us alive in a dangerous world. That's where fear comes from. So there's two sources of fear. The first is biological, right? So in our brains, there's this thing called the amygdala, right? This little kind of like almond-sized thing, the back base of our brains. And this generates this fear response. Whenever we see

something that could cause us danger or could cause us discomfort, our amygdala kicks in and says, basically, you know, hey, there's a dark alley. Don't go down the alley. I'm standing on a cliff, back away from the cliff. There's a saber-tooth tiger. Run away. And Why is there a saber-tooth tiger there in 21st century America? But here's the point is that fear has been working for you. Actually, fear has been a gift for you and for me, our entire lives. Fear is what has enabled you and me to be alive to this moment. Because that's what fear does.

Fear has been working to keep us alive. But there's a problem here too, because fear not only has the ability to keep us alive, fear also has the power to keep us from living. Again, that amygdala, right? that that thing that causes us to fear. There's a guy named Trevor Reagan. Trevor Reagan talks about the four things that kind of trigger this fear response, the four things that trigger that amygdala.

And he says their uncertainty, struggle, attention, and change. Now these are the four things that trigger our fear response. So uncertainty, and that's one of those things. We completely know this, right? As long as everything's going well, everything's going like we thought it would go, like completely, no problem. All of a sudden you look over and like, wait, is that a person standing in my bedroom? uncertainty, fear response, or struggle.

Every one of us. It's at one of those moments where we get into the thick of, like, something is difficult to do. Even if it's just simply sitting down to write a paper, that's our fear response. Either I engage it, either I run away from it, or I just procrastinate. That is part of, that's called fight, flight, or freeze. Attention is one of the triggers that triggers our fear response. And that's one of the reasons why right now, at this moment, you're probably like, I'm totally cool. I'm not afraid. But if I were to say, hey, would you want to get it? getting up and say a few words, he'd be like, oh my gosh, that triggers.

That's one of the reasons why, you know, they did a study in the United States a number of years ago. And they asked people, what are their primary fears? What are the top fears? The top two fears of Americans in the last couple years, number one was public speaking. Number two was dying. Which means that if you're at a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. Because that's one of the things that triggers our fears. So there's uncertainty, there's struggle, attention, and the fourth one is.

which is change. That as long as things are, again, predictable, as long as things are the same, I'm completely fine, but the moment there's this change. You know, our brains are wired to recognize these things, these four things. Uncertainty, struggle, attention, and change. And our brain wants to avoid them.

Why? Because your brain wants to keep you alive. The problem is this. Uncertainty, struggle, attention, and change. That's called life. Like, that's what life is made of. That's all life is, basically. And so if, our only response to uncertainty, or struggle or attention or change is fight, flight, or freeze,

then how in the world are we ever going to live? Because fear drives us away from discomfort. But where do we grow? We grow in the midst of discomfort. Fear drives us away from that place of challenge. But God wants more for our lives, right? God has a dream on your life. God is a, he's a dream for you.

And that dream is, of course, it's going to involve uncertainty. It's going to involve struggle. It's going to evolve attention. It's going to involve change. and if I keep running away from it, then I'll never be the person who actually lives up to the dream that God has for me. And you and I will never be able to live up to the dream that God has for us. So we go back to FDR's quote, in the longer quote,

which is the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And he names it. He says, a nameless fear, an unreasoning fear and unjustifiable fear. So what we did is we say, okay, this whole series called Nothing to Fear. We have to name the fear. So last week we talked about the first fear. The first fear is rejection. The thing they can hold so many people back from living is the fear of rejection.

But this week we have this picture, a snapshot of a new kind of fear. It's in the gospel. So we have the story. Here's Simon Peter. He's doing his thing. He fished all night. Here's Jesus. Comes along the shore.

Gets into his boat. Go out to the deep water. Lord, I already tried fishing. He's like, yeah, but you're not very good at it. So try again. And he does it again. What happens? Massive amount of fish.

And there's this moment where Simon looks at Jesus. And he realizes the truth. not only does he realize who Jesus is because first it was master now of a sudden it's like oh you're the Lord and he calls him Lord and he realizes I'm a sinful man you have to leave and this is one of those moments for us

the fear this week is the fear of being inadequate right that fear of like realizing I don't actually have enough the fear of realizing wait a second what if I get to this place and I'm not enough you can imagine here's Simon Peter looking right at Jesus at the Lord God himself

and saying, I do not have what it takes. I am inadequate. I am not enough. You know, before Mass asked, I asked the question, intimidated by anybody. I've been thinking about it. There are some people that I know that I respect so much. Like, I respect their intelligence.

I respect their competence. I respect their goodness last night at Sikh. We had one of the speakers was a woman named Sister Miriam. And Sister Miriam is awesome. She's a good friend. She's a great woman. But I find myself so often, like she is so holy that sometimes I'm looking at her. And she's like looking at my soul.

I'm like, please don't look that closely. This is uncomfortable for me. Because she's so good. Like she's, she has this gaze that's just like, hey, I love you. And I'm like, I'm no, I'm not, gosh, oh shucks. Like, I'm not worth that because that's the truth. I have this sense in the presence of some people who are so good that I am just inadequate. In the presence of people who are so good that like, you know, the truth is I'm no good.

And I think a lot of us have this fear, this fear of being inadequate. that when the challenge comes, I won't be able to rise to the challenge. Ever, I mean, you have that fear? Is that a real thing? I think it's, for so many of us, the fear of when the challenge comes, I won't be able to rise to the challenge.

So when there's uncertainty, I won't know what to do. When there's struggle, I won't have the ability to do. When there's that attention, you know what? Everyone's going to realize that I am incompetent.

Once everyone looks at me and sees me for real, they'll realize that I'm inatt. and that change. Like, okay, maybe I can last through this thing, but the next thing's going to come. This is how life's going to be. It's always going to be changed from now on out. And how many of our lives, for the last two years,

have been marked by this kind of fear? When the next challenge comes, I don't know if I'll be able to rise to that next challenge. Which I was one of the reasons I think that, you know, anxiety has been a growing thing in our world for the last number of years. And I think the last two years, it has reached an all-time high. Rollo May is an author who wrote a book, on anxiety and they described it. They said that this anxiety, this sense of I will be unable to

rise to the challenge. They said it's marked by this diffusiveness, meaning it's everywhere. It's not like I can't put my finger on it. I can't like grab onto it and fight it. It's just everywhere. This diffusiveness and uncertainty and the experience of helplessness towards the threat. I think that's a common feeling for a lot of us. We feel the fear of inadequacy, that sense of like when the challenge comes, I won't be able to rise to the challenge. And we come to this place where we say, you know what, I'm not enough. I am inadequate. I don't and I won't have enough.

And this is really interesting because in that moment when Simon Peter says that, depart from you, Lord, I'm a sinful man. It's interesting. Jesus' response isn't like, oh, Peter, you're fine. Don't worry about it. Jesus' response to Simon isn't like, ah, Simon, like, nobody used to hang in their chin up, you know? You've got self-confidence.

It isn't that. He doesn't say that. Jesus is a response to Simon Peter having this awareness. Lord, I am not enough. I am inadequate. Jesus simply says, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. I don't know if you've ever been scared and someone just says, don't be afraid.

And you're like, oh, okay, fine. I'm over it. You're worried. Someone's, stop worrying. Okay, fine. You're depressed. Someone says, stop being depressed. Fine, no problem.

This is really important for us. Because Jesus, here's what he's not saying. when Jesus looks at Simon says, do not be afraid. He's not saying, don't be afraid, because there's nothing to be afraid of. He's not saying that because Jesus knows what's coming. Like Jesus knows that he's calling this man out of this boat, out of being a fisherman, to being an apostle, where he is going to get persecuted,

where he's going to get rejected, where he's going to get tortured and he's going to be killed. So if there's anyone who has anything to be afraid of, it's Simon. So Jesus is not saying, Simon, there's nothing to be afraid of. No, there is. He's also not saying, he's also not telling Simon not to feel fear. When Jesus says, do not be afraid,

he's not telling Simon not to feel fear because that's impossible. Why? Because we have this thing wired into us in our biology, in our neurology. It automatically engages when we encounter uncertainty and struggle and attention and change. He's not telling him not to feel fear. I think what Jesus is saying is this.

He's saying, do not be afraid. Meaning, do not allow that feeling of fear to hold you back. do not allow that feeling of fear to paralyze you. Don't allow the feeling of fear to disqualify you from following after me. Because I've created, I have a dream for your life, Simon. And you cannot, you cannot allow fear to hold you back from this dream that I have. But also, you can't not feel fear.

Because, right, there's two sources of fear. One is our brain. One is our biology. The other source of fear is the stories we tell ourselves. The other source of fear are the stories we tell ourselves. Because when Simon Peter looked at Jesus and he saw this good man who actually is in fact God, and he says basically, I'm a sinful man, I'm inadequate. Simon was telling the truth.

Simon was telling the truth when he said, I'm a sinful man. He was telling the truth when he said, I'm inadequate. But the story he was telling wasn't true. Because the story he was telling was, I'm a sinful man, therefore you have to leave. That story isn't true. that in the midst of uncertainty and struggle and attention and change, to follow Jesus means that he's going to call you to a place where we are not adequate. Because Simon's going to have to walk on water one day, and I don't know about you,

but that's kind of, I'm inadequate. I'm incompetent when it comes to walking on water. Simon Peter, at one point, he's going to say to a man, rise, who is paralyzed from birth, rise in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. I don't know about you. I am inadequate when it comes to that kind of thing. Simon Peter is completely inadequate for the task that Jesus is calling him to, but the truth is you don't have to be afraid.

Simon could say, I can't do this on my own. True. But what's also true is you're not being asked to do this on your own. This is true for all of us. You can look at Jesus and say, God, I cannot follow you on my own. I don't have the ability, I don't have the strength. I'm not adequate to follow you on my own. The rest of the truth, true story is this.

You're not being asked to do it on your own. Because Peter will keep failing. Peter will remain inadequate. and Peter will do it anyway. Peter will still be afraid, and he will do it anyway. Question could be, how do you not be scared? Question could be, how do you not feel fear?

I mean, there's people who get up and they say, hey, live a fearless life. That is impossible. Unless you do some lobotomy action where you take out the little amygdala almond thing, you're going to feel fear. That you cannot live without fear. You're going to get scared.

Here's the secret. Do it scared. I'm going to be terrified. No problem. Do it anyways. So one of my older brothers, he's in the military, and one of his jobs in the military is jumping out of airplanes. And he's done this for decades. He's jumped out of thousands of airplanes. And I was like, Mark, like, what is that like fun now? He just like run out the back of a plane like, I'm going, you know? And he says, no, he says, I get scared every time. I'm like, seriously? You've done it thousands of times. He's like, yes, but you're also

jumping out of a perfectly good airplane every time. He says, I get scared every time. So what do you do? I do it scared. You know, the Olympics just started and it's awesome. There's a man named Simon Sinek. He's an author and a speaker. And he talked about one time he was listening to a bunch of interviews of Olympic athletes,

either before or just after they competed. And he said he was very disheartened, discouraged by the questions that these interviewers were asking the athletes because he said, you need better questions. Because the one question they kept asking the athletes was this. Were you nervous? Like before your event, were you nervous? And he's like, that's a dumb question.

Because of course you're nervous. I mean, he said everyone experiences the butterflies. Everyone experiences that nausea. Everyone experiences either the desire to throw up or actually throws up. He said, but the great athletes, when they were asked the question, were you nervous? He says almost every single one of them, they had the same butterflies, right? They had the same anxiety. They had the same nerves.

They had the same desire to throw up or they actually did throw up. Every one of them, though, they said, no, I wasn't nervous. I was excited. The two sources of fear are our biology and the stories we tell. Those athletes, they felt the exact same thing, the exact same thing as every other athlete. But the story they chose to tell was, I'm not nervous. I'm excited. You know, my brother and I, when we raced up to get our pajamas and race back down,

of I always wondered, like, what was it that we were running from? Like, what is it that we were scared of? What is it that we were afraid of? Because, like, you know, it's like with those monster up there. Well, if there's a monster up there, the monster's in the house and we're dead. I mean, I don't know. Mass murder. If there's a mass murder in my bedroom, there's mass murder and that's the house.

We're all dead. So what is the whole, like, what is it that we were afraid of? And I think it's this. We were afraid of being alone. You have to run up to your room by yourself. And the whole goal was run back to where people are. run back to where you're not alone. I think there's something in there where we just realize

I can't do it on my own. And we realize that Jesus is saying, you don't have to do it on your own. Because I'm with you. That we can look at God and say, God, I look at myself, I'm inadequate, I'm not enough. I don't have what it takes. And Jesus says, I know.

But you have me. He can say, I don't have enough. And he says, that's right. But I'm with you. And this is the last thing. every single one of us are called are going to be afraid and we're called to do it anyway every single one of us is going to feel fear

and we have to learn how to do it scared and we can tell the true story that there are times when I will not be enough there are times when I will be inadequate there are times when I won't have enough I won't be able to do enough there will be times when every single one of us are inadequate

but still even though there will be times when every one of us are inadequate. There will never be a moment when you and I are alone.