Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 03/14/21 To The Heart: Hidden Heart

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

Homily from the Fourth Sunday of Lent. A hidden heart is a homeless heart. The people of Israel were brought into exile. It was imposed from the outside. But after King Cyrus game them a way home, many of them chose to live in self-imposed exile. The same is true for all of us who have been exiled by our sin and slavery to death. Jesus has made it possible to step into the light and come home, but many choose to live outside the light...many of us live in self-imposed exile. Mass Readings from March 14, 2021: 2 Chronicles 36:14-16, 19-23 Psalms 137:6Ephesians 2:4-10 John 3:14-21 Download the Homily Study

So if you are familiar with the Alpha program, we usually run Alpha in the beginning of the fall semester. About halfway through, there's this story of a man, his name is Daryl Tunningly, and Daryl tells the story about how we became a criminal. And he says, people ask me how I got into crime. And he said, it wasn't like I took a course in high school on how to become a criminal. He said, it was just all around me. And it didn't even start out that bad. He just said, I started out, just kind of smoking weed and drink. drinking a bit and then being my buddies we just started actually said me and my mates um me and my

mates started taking hood ornaments off of expensive cars and like trading them just stealing those things and trading them and he said we just moved from stealing parts of cars to stealing the whole car and then he said they got to know the people who pulled the strings they got to know the people who were you know kind of in charge of the the underworld the criminal underworld in in britain and said at one point they said okay we have a job for you and they had to go kidnap this man off the from out of his front yard because he owed this group of people some money. He wasn't even that much money, but because he was bragging about how he wasn't going to pay it back, we had to go get him. And he was out there in the front yard with his son. We rolled up, we grabbed him in front of his

son, threw him into the car, and drove to a quarry. And at the quarry, we unloaded him. He was lying there, and the guy I was with took off the man's shoes and handed me a weed whacker and said, okay, do his feet. He said, that was my initiation. I held the weed whackers. to his feet and just lacerated him as much as I possibly could to teach him a lesson. He said, just progressed from there more and more violence, more and more dangerous, more and more crime until he finally got busted and he got sent to prison for seven and a half years and he was sent to a maximum security category eight maximum security prison and he said, okay, that's it. This is what his own words. He said, that's it. Now that I'm in prison,

the gloves are off. He said, if I'm going to be bad, I'm going to be the best kind of bad you possibly can be. Basically, he says, if I'm going to be bad, I'm going to be the worst of the worst. And he was passed from prison to prison to prison, because even in prison, he was the most violent, he was the most abrasive, he was the most criminal of criminals. And at one point, after being there for a long time, an inmate came up to him, and he invited him to an alpha course, the end of this course introduction to Christianity. And he said, you better back up, I'm going to hit you out of the face. The guy ran off, and the next day he came back, and he said, would you like to go to this alpha course? And he was about to hit him. And he said,

but there'll be free biscuits and free coffee and you get an hour off every afternoon. He said, fine, I'll go. He said, when he got there, he showed up with some of his friends, and he said, we gave them such a hard time. But something happened after they kept coming back week after week. And he said this. He said, it wasn't what they said. It was how they did it. Because every time we attacked them, every time we came up with us anger, He said, all they came back at us with was love. We came at them with aggression. He said, all they came back at us with was compassion.

And he said, I realized, looking at these people, looking at where I was, he realized how far gone he was. Because he didn't start out to be this maximum security prison criminal. He started out as just a kid in his neighborhood. And one night he went, he got to his bunk, you know, sitting on his bed, and he just realized. It started off being a normal kid in my neighborhood. and ended up, here I am, torturing people. Here I am being the worst of the worst. And he looked at his life and he said, I've got all these pieces.

My life is just a bunch of pieces and a bunch of broken pieces. He said, it looked in my heart and all I saw was hate. He said, all I saw was anger. He said all I saw was violence. He said, all I saw it was addictions. He said all these pieces. And he had this despair because he realized, I can't do anything about it. I've got all these broken pieces in me and I can't do anything about it.

I'm just that far gone. I'm thinking about that, being that far gone. where you know you're so far from where you should be. I don't know if you ever had that experience, that realization that I am not where I should be, or that realization I am not who I should be. There's a guy I know from our online masses. He wrote me in email recently.

He sent me a link to his testimony. He's been sober for maybe, I don't know, 20, 25 years now, and he gave his testimony at one of his AA meetings, and he sent the link to me so I could listen to it. And his testimony was powerful, but he said that his whole life, one of his pieces of his life, one of the broken pieces of his life, he said, my whole life, whenever I met someone new, I simultaneously realized I was better than you and I was worse than you.

He said, every person I met, I'd meet them and think, oh, what a moron. Then I would think, I'm the moron. He said, every person I met, I thought, what a screw up. And then I realized, oh, I'm the screw up. And he had this tension inside of him that he realized he had to be. hidden. He had to hide himself from himself because he couldn't admit the truth. It's too painful. And he'd hide himself from others because they'll realize what a big screw up he was. Simultaneously, I'm better than you and I'm the worst person you've ever met. So he had to hide. Why? Because

he felt like I'm not who I should be. And not where I should be. And so I'm not where I should be means what? It means I'm living in exile. Because when we're not living where we should be, it means we're living in exile that we're living hidden and homeless because that's what it is to be an exile. To be an exile is to be hidden and homeless. You know we've

doing this series to the heart for all of Lent so far and the whole thing about this series is about how it's not just going to have 40 days of fasting or 40 days of prayer or 40 days of transformation but we want to have 40 days to actually change our eternity. We want to have 40 days where we're healed in some really critical areas

one of those areas being trust and so that's the first week we talked right about how we can trust God because he is, yes, untamed and untamed but he's also really good. The second week we talked about, yeah, we sometimes don't understand what God is doing, so it's hard to trust him, but how obedience precedes understanding. And last week we talked about the question is not always can I trust God, but sometimes the question is can God trust me because I have this thing in my chest that can't be trusted. I have a treacherous heart. And so this week, we want to highlight this oftentimes I'm not where I should be. Because I have a hidden heart. And a hidden heart is a homeless heart. So a lot of us find ourselves, where we find

ourselves, we find ourselves in this self-imposed exile, where we have a home, but we're not living at home. I was thinking about this because the first reading is from Second Chronicles. And Second Chronicles, this is basically the last chapter of this one of the latest books in the Old Testament. And it gives a summary of what happened to the people of Israel, right? They were set free from slavery in Egypt. They had this kingdom. And God said, here's the deal. I need. I need. you need to be faithful to me but I know what's going to happen you're not going to be faithful and they weren't so God what it says we just heard the summary the god would send his prophets to call them back to faithfulness but they wouldn't listen and so what god had to do is he had to let

them get what they chose they if you want to choose a life without me then you get a life without me and so what happened was the babylonians came in and they destroyed Jerusalem they just destroyed Israel and it took a bunch of Jews and brought them to exile in Babylon and then over the course of time 70 years later there's this the persians come in and they destroy the Babylonians, and the Persian king was named Cyrus. And this is remarkable because there was a prophecy hundreds of years before Cyrus even existed that said there will be a king named Cyrus who will set my people free and bring them so they can go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the temple. Hundreds of years before this. And they show Cyrus this prophecy and he's like, well, I guess that's me. So go ahead,

go home. No, you can imagine, you can imagine the joy of being in exile in Babylon. And have the kings say it, you get to go home now. And I'm going to give you money to rebuild your city. I'm going to give you money to rebuild your temple. You finally get to go. You can imagine the joy of that. You don't have to live in exile anymore. But what happened was

a few people went back to Israel. But the majority of those people living in exile, they just stayed in exile. The majority of people living in Babylon, they just said, now this is fine. This is good enough. Because you can imagine, right, it's been 70 years. they'll be like, well, no, I'm used to it.

This isn't, this is, my home is not Israel anymore, this is my home now. If I had to get up and go rebuild the city, that'll take a lot of work. And so, you know, I don't know, this place isn't that bad. And so what started out as an externally imposed exile changed, and it became a self-imposed exile. Because there was an open door. They were given a way home, and they stayed away. They stayed away. they stayed not where they should be.

And I think this gets right to the heart. I think it's to the heart of where we are. Because the gospel today is the heart of the good news. If you ever want to hear what's the good news? John chapter 3, verse 16. What is the line? For God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that everyone who believed in him might not perish

but might have eternal life. For God did not send him. his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. If there's anything that's the heart of the gospel, this is the heart of the gospel. If anything that's a summary of the gospel, this is it. But I think when we hear this, we make at least two mistakes. When we hear those words, the heart of the gospel, we make at least two mistakes. Then one is we look at it, we hear it, we think that's powerful, but it's impersonal.

Like, wow, those are powerful words. For God so loved the world, we make them impersonal. I don't know if you ever heard anyone invite you to do this, but I'm going to invite you to do this. Let this be personal. This is not about the good news of God's love for the world. This is about God's good news of God's love for you. So put your name in this. For God so loved David that he gave his only begotten son.

For God so loved Maria that he gave his only son. So that when one believes in him, one might have eternal life. is that when Katie believes in him, Katie might have eternal life. For God did not send his son to Joseph to condemn Joseph. For God did not send his son to Sarah to condemn Sarah, but so that Mitchell might be saved through him. These are powerful words, but they're also incredibly personal. We make the mistake of taking these powerful words and making them impersonal,

but this is the good news of God's love for you. The other mistake I think we make is that we don't often pay enough attention to what comes after this. And what comes after this is a line that haunts me all of the time. It's this line, it says, and this is the verdict, that the light came into the world, but people prefer darkness to light. Because their works were evil. The great news, here's God who so loves you that he came into this world, that you wouldn't have to die, that you could have eternal life.

But then the next line, but the light came into the world, and people preferred darkness to light. And I need to make this personal too, that light came into the world, but Michael preferred darkness to light. I just stay away. And I'm living in this self-imposed exile because Jesus has opened the way.

Jesus is the way, right? He's given us access to the Father. He's given us away home. But many of us, including myself, so many of us, we choose to hide. And the hidden heart is a homeless heart, a heart in self-imposed exile, which of course duh is nothing new i mean this is what all of us do this is what they did the first sin

caused people to do this right adam and eve in genesis chapter three what happens they take the fruit the one rule you had one job don't eat this piece of fruit and they did it and what happens their eyes were open they realized they were naked and what happens they hear god coming and just the next scripture says they hid themselves and god calls out where are you and adam responds i was afraid because i was naked, so I hid myself. This is what all of us do. When we realize I've done the wrong thing, I'm hiding. Why? Because I was afraid. So I hid myself. And you have God saying what? God's saying, come home. Like, come out of hiding. Stop hiding. And maybe he went here tonight going like, I'm not hiding. Father, I'm not hiding. I promise. I'm not hiding. I mean, great. That's awesome.

then stop. I mean, seriously, stop. Like, slow down and stop. What I mean by this is there's a bunch of stuff that can fill our lives that can sometimes be an attempt to hide in plain sight. Like a lot of even the church stuff we do, it fills of our lives.

You're doing all this stuff and doing all this stuff, and it can sometimes be an attempt to hide in plain sight where we are attempting to avoid the exact heart of the gospel. What I mean by that is sometimes the work we're doing, sometimes the works we're doing, sometimes the stuff we do in church, it's an attempt to avoid actually accepting what is being offered. And what is God offering to you tonight? This free gift of His grace that you didn't earn.

This free gift of his son that I didn't earn. This free gift of salvation that none of us have done anything to earn. Because that means, to accept it like this, that means trusting him more than trusting in what I'm bringing to the table. Imagine showing up and actually trusting in his love rather than trusting what I'm bringing to the table. I think a lot of times we show up to prayer. Maybe this isn't you, but a lot of times we show up to prayer and what do we do? We give God a resume. God, here's all the things I've been doing. So you can hear my prayers now, right? Because I've been fasting. I've been doing the pretty good

lent so far. And so now you hear my prayers as opposed to trusting in him rather than trusting in what I'm bringing to the table. Because that second reading reminds us, Ephesians chapter 2, by grace you've been saved. That free gift we've been saved. I don't know if you ever asked the question why. Like why did, why does God give us his grace? Because you could ask to answer like, I don't know, maybe it's because of your potential. He sees a lot in you. You have a lot of potential, a lot of growth. Maybe because he looks at you and sees your beauty. Looks at you and sees your goodness. Maybe looks and sees that you're pretty decent person. Maybe that's why God gives us his gift of grace. And actually, Ephesians 2 says those are none of the reasons.

yet the reason why God gives us his grace says this, because of the great love that he has for you. That it's not because of anything you've done, not because of your potential, not because of your beauty, not because how good you are, or a decent person we are, it's because of the love he has for you.

And this is so good. You guys, this is such good news, because if it was based off of something that I do, then it'll be finite. If it's based off of my goodness, then it at some point is going to run out. That if his grace for us is based off of what we, we're bringing to the table, then the hard truth is it stops when I stop. That's why it's the good

news that he's saying, I already love you. That's the reason why. So then the question comes up, then why is it so hard? If that's true, then why is it so hard to be seen? Like, why is it so hard to come home? I think it's because this. I think it's because how I got here is on me and how I get home is on him. How I got into this place, looking out all these pieces, these broken pieces of my life. How I got here is on me. And how we get home. is on him. That I have to trust. I have to, we have to stop hiding.

Because a hidden heart is a homeless heart. And obviously, it's easier said than done, right? Like, sometimes we'd be so embarrassed about what we've done and where we are or who we are so ashamed or so discouraged at where we are. And we can be tempted to live in this self-imposed exile. That temptation to live in self-imposed exile is huge because we look at ourselves as like, I'm too broken. I'm too far gone.

pieces, no one could do anything with these pieces in my life. And it's in those moments in this moment that we have to make the decision. That decision is, will you let yourself be seen? Will you actually, the verdict is, light came into the world. But people prefer darkness to the light. Are you willing to let yourself be seen? Are you willing to step into the light? You know, there's nothing, there is no better way to step into the light. There's no better way to get home to the father. There's no better way to leave exile than through the sacrament of confession. No more powerful gift has God given to us than the sacrament of reconciliation. Because what is it? It's a sacrament of trust. It's the sacrament where it's like, okay, I am not

where I should be. I am not who I should be. All I have to offer God are a bunch of broken pieces. And in confession, I don't know if we realize this. In confession, we let God do what he actually wants to do. What I mean by that is this. So St. Francis DeSales, Sam Rastus De Sales, he once said that Jesus' vocation is to be the Savior. What he means about that is that the second person of the Trinity, Jesus, from all eternity, he's always been the Son. His identity is the Son.

He's always been the Son. He always will be the Son. Christ's identity, his identity is the second person of the Trinity. But his vocation, he embraced when he became one of us. That when the second person of the Trinity became a human being, he embraced this new vocation, and that new vocation is to be the Savior. So there's this other person, venerable Mother Shafuiz.

She said this. She said, every time we offer Jesus a fault to be forgiven, we offer him the title of Savior. I don't know if we realize. Every time you go to confession, we're giving Jesus the pleasure of being our Savior again. Every time we go to confession, we're giving Jesus the joy of doing what he wants to do, which is to free us from our sins, which is to give us new life. So we sometimes approach confession with the idea that here is Jesus looking at us going, like, you're back, you're here again?

I think I have some more grace. Fine, but make this the last one. No, every time we go to confession, we're giving the Lord, the honor, the pleasure, the joy of being our Savior again. So the thing is, why not give Jesus the chance to be your Savior? It takes so much courage. To step out of the darkness into the light takes so much courage. That's one of the reasons why there's another saint, St. Gregory the Great once said, he said, it often requires more courage to confess our sins than it does to avoid the sin in the first place.

it often takes more courage to confess our sins than it does to avoid sinning in the first place. But I know that you have that courage. I know that you are not a coward, but you have courage. And Jesus has opened the door. He's made it possible to come home. And we get to choose, and we have to choose, to expose our exiled hearts, to allow our hidden heart to be found, to let Jesus be the Savior.

In fact, to let the Savior not just forgive all these pieces that we bring for him, but actually to let the Savior do something with the pieces. That's one of the things we're doing when we go to confession. We're letting Jesus use the pieces. And if you've ever been to confession, you realize that what was your shame can become a beautiful part of your story. That when we hand Jesus the pieces, what was our shame can become a powerful part of our story. It's going back to Darrell, the criminal.

He's sitting on his bunk and he's got all these pieces, this life, and he's tired of exile. He's tired of being hidden, tired of being homeless. And he prayed. He said, Lord, I've got all this anger. I've got all this hate. I've got all this violence. I've got all these addictions. I've got all these pieces.

I need you. I've tried. I've tried to get rid of them and I can't. I've tried to leave them and I can't. But he said, I'll make you a deal. Jesus. He said, I'll make you a deal. He didn't even know if he was praying the right way.

But it worked out okay. He said, I make you a deal. If you free me from the. these things. I promise you. I will serve you with the rest of my life. He said he went to bed. Next morning he woke up and he reached for a cigarette, which is the first thing he's done every morning of his life since he was 10. He held it in his hands and he didn't want to smoke it and he went to light it and he felt physically sick. Took the pack and he held it and he felt sick and so he threw him out the window of his prison cell and he said instantly I felt lighter.

I don't know what to do it now because I usually smoke, so I'll maybe go to the bathroom and I'll wash my face and shave my face. He said, I looked in the mirror, and he honestly said, I looked in the mirror, and I didn't recognize the person looking back at me. And I said, that guy in the mirror is smiling. I can't remember the last time I smiled. He said, that person in the mirror is beaming. And he felt like someone had opened up the top of his head

and poured in all this cold water over him, and he just said, He said he felt completely, completely new. And he started actually praying. At one point, he met a chaplain who kept coming to the prison. And as he got out, as Darrell got out of prison, this man said, I'm planting a church in a really rough neighborhood here in England. Where there are a bunch of young people, a bunch of young men just like you who are getting involved in gangs, getting involved in crime,

and your story is going to be their story. But would you be a pastor? Would you work in this? this church. And he said, because of all the pieces that had been broken, being in crime, being an addict, being a man of violence and of hate, being a criminal. He said, handing all those pieces to the Lord, he has used them. So that what used to be a part of my shame has been transformed into this powerful part of God's story. Because he stepped out of darkness into the light. And that's the last thing. This is the thing, is we get to choose.

Actually, we don't just get to choose. We have to choose. and we don't have to live in self-imposed exile. None of us have to live hidden. No one here has to be homeless. But if you choose, then you will have to trust. You will have to trust that you are already loved, already. You'll have to trust that you don't have anything to offer. You'll have to trust that you're not in control,

and you'll have to trust that you will be seen. and you'll no longer have a hidden heart that's homeless, but you'll have a courageous heart that allows the love of God to bring you back from exile.