Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 05/02/21 Love Limits You

Episode Date: May 3, 2021

Homily from the Fifth Sunday of Easter. Practice making the promise. We find ourselves always moving and never done. We have so many options that we experience decision paralysis and subsequent decision dissatisfaction. But we are made for a full life. A full life is only possible when we intentionally limit ourselves by making the decision to love this person or to root ourselves in this place. Ultimately, unless we truly decide to remain in Christ, we will never experience the life we have been made for. Mass Readings from May 2, 2021: Acts 4:8-12 Psalms 118:1, 8-9, 21-23, 26, 28, 291 John 3:1-2 John 10:11-18

So, you know, at the end of the semester is always one of those situations where, sorry, typically the end of the semester is one of those situations where it's like you've been ramping up for this moment, like the entire, not just this semester, but this entire year, and you've been racing and racing and going to class and back and all the extracurriculars and back and all the activity and back. And then it's like, you're going to cross the finish line, like, I'm finally done. And this year is kind of like, bwant. Where it's just the situation, right? Like, all my racing off the class is me rolling over, opening my laptop, and turning off the camera. Like, that's, like, and so it's almost one of those, maybe, okay, this might not be your experience. But a lot of us have had the experience of a really weird, not just semester, really weird here, where it's just kind of like you're coming to the end.

And just kind of like, you're done now? Oh, okay. I guess, I guess it's over. No, at the same time, it might be the opposite. You might be like, oh my gosh, I am so over my head right now. And just I'm taking this one hour. So speed it up, father, because we've got to go. get going. We've got to get back to work. Because what's going to happen is by the end of this week,

or if you're from CSS again, by the end of next week, you'll finally be done. And there's something so good. Gosh, isn't there something so good about just getting to that place where you have a moment when it's just, I don't have anything more to do. Like everything I was supposed to do, it's all done. I have nothing left to do. That is such a good feeling. So hang in there, you guys. But that's an unusual feeling for modern human beings. That feeling. That feeling, of like, I'm done. There's nothing left to do. That is so foreign to almost all of us. In fact, I was reading some articles that talked about one of the modern phenomena that we have right now is one of the reasons for our heightened levels of stress, heightened levels of anxiety,

is our modern experience with this phenomena called incompleteness, where there's always something more that you could be doing. There's always something else that you could be doing. You know, back in the day it was what? Crops were planted, nothing else to do. or the crops are harvested, nothing else to do. Or the sun went down and there's nothing else to do. But you and I, there is always something else to do. Isn't there? There's always something else you could be doing, always something more we could be doing.

And so what that amounts to is that you and I are never ever done. Because there's always something else to do. We're never settled. Never home. I mean, you leave your work at work and you bring it home with you because you've got your phone. I talk to some people who work in the world and they said in their pickup line to pick up their kids, the carpool line, to pick up their kids after work,

that's where they make all their calls, that's where they finish up emails, that's where they finish up texts, while they're waiting, because there's always something else to do. There's always somewhere else to be. There's always someone else to be with. And partly because there's so many options, right? There's so many options for every single one of us. I mean, there's always more opportunities.

There's more people we can meet. There's more things to do. There's more things to see. More places to visit. Honestly, virtually every person in this church right now, there's almost no limit to where you could end up living. And that's good, that's right, it's good to have options. It's really great to have options.

It's great to have a choice. Like more than just, again, back in the day when, hey, your dad was a carpenter, you're going to be a carpenter. Back in the day when your mom was a nurse, you're going to be a nurse. Options are good, choices are good, but at some point there's this thing called the Law of Diminishing Returns. There's a psychologist, his name is Barry Schwartz. Barry Schwartz wrote a book called The Paradox of Choice. And he noted that, yeah, for the most part, choice is great. It's great to have options.

but at some point too many options makes us miserable. It's like going to the grocery store and you're trying to pick out spaghetti sauce. Something that should be fun. Who doesn't love picking out spaghetti sauce? My favorite thing to do on a Friday night. But go to the store and try to pick out spaghetti sauce. And you go to the rack and it's just, it's endless. There is your classic.

There's your classic spicy. There's your garden. There's your three cheese. Your three cheese classic. There's your four cheese. There's your meat, your extra meat. There's your extra meat. Four cheese classic.

I mean, everything. There's so many options. Like, how do I know which spaghetti sauce is the one for me? In fact, Barry Schwartz gives the example of shopping for blue jeans. And he says, back in the day, again, everything was so much better back then. He says, back in the day, when your old blue jeans, your favorite jeans wore out, and you had to replace them, you'd go to the store and there'd be maybe two brands, and you'd pick out your size.

This is my waist, this is my inseam, and you bring them home, and they don't fit well. and they're uncomfortable and you don't like them. But that's how blue jeans fit. And you just keep wearing them until they become your new favorite jeans. You break them in. But he says, now, I mean, gosh, shopping for jeans. They're endless. Again, the options are endless.

There's straight leg, there's skinny leg, there's slim fit, there's athletic fit, there's wide leg, there's a relaxed fit, there's high-rise, there's low-rise. I came across this. It was called loose, distressed, high-rise, straight-leg jeans. And the idea behind this is not only do you go to the store, and you're like, I can't decide, but when you bring them home, you're dissatisfied. Why? Because with so many options, they should be perfect. Again, when you bring them home, it's not enough for them to be good enough.

With all these options, they should be perfect. In fact, there was two psychologists, one out of Stanford, one out of Columbia, and they did this experiment back in the year 2000, where they went to a grocery store, and on a regular day, just normal day, they put out this massive display with 24 different kinds of jam. and watch to see what people would do. And then on the other days, they put out the same display with only six different kinds of jam and watch what people would do.

And they said that, yes, while the big display with 24 different kinds of jam got more people to stop and pay attention to it, fewer people pulled the trigger when it was 24 kinds of jam on the table than when there was only six kinds of jam on the table. In fact, when there were six kind of jam on the table, people were ten times more likely to buy one of those six

then they were to buy one of the 24. They would pick it up and they'd be like, nah, this isn't my jam, and put it back. Sorry, I just had to. So they were so reluctant to pull the trigger on this and know what else? When they got home from the 24 jam display, they reported far less customer satisfaction. Because why? With 24 different kinds of jams, you should have picked the perfect jam for you. And so here's what happens. With too options we have not only decision paralysis we also have decision dissatisfaction decision paralysis I don't know what to choose and decision dissatisfaction with the idea of like did I choose the right one and so liberation liberation is

good having that freedom but liberation gives us options and too often too many options gives us anxiety think about when you first had to pick a major the university advertises we have a hundred and fifty different kinds of majors just choose one of them like oh my gosh with 150 majors I should be able to pick the perfect major for me. Now imagine that when here's the world that says you're graduating now, you're going off into the world, and now there's no limit to your options. Now you can do anything you want to do. Knowing what we know about the paradox of choice, question, is that a recipe for happiness? To tell people you can do anything you want to do, is that a recipe for a

full life? Is that a recipe for joy? See, because it's not a recipe for that, because liberation gives us adoptions, yes, but options give us anxiety. Here's my invitation. tonight. My invitation tonight is for all of us to make a different kind of decision. And that decision is, I want to invite you to make the decision to love. Because here's why. Because love, real love, will naturally and automatically limit you. Yes, liberation is good. It gives us options. And those options give us anxiety. Because why? Because there's always more. There's always something else. There's always someone else. And we're never rooted. We're never planted. We're never home. But here's the thing. Love,

love binds a person. Love automatically and necessarily limits us. Again, liberation gives me options and options give me anxiety, but limitation gives me focus. And that focus gives us freedom. Freedom to be here. I mean, honestly, think about this. You have the freedom to just be here.

You don't have to be anywhere else right now. Because you made a decision. Because you love Jesus, I'm free to be here. I'm free to be home. It's actually, it's the freedom to love. It's one of the reasons why St. John, in the second reading today, 1 John chapter 3, he says, brothers and sisters, my children, he says, let us love not in word or in speech.

Let's not love in dreams. He says let's love in deed and in truth. Because the reality is, you can't love anyone. We can't love everyone. You can only love someone. For us, we can't love humanity. We can only love humans. There's no such thing as like, I love people.

No, you love persons. In order to love, I have to be planted. In order to love, we can't be drifting. We have to make a decision. Because again, let's go back to this. Without a decision, love isn't possible. Without a decision, love isn't possible. In fact, I talk to a lot of people these days who,

they're like, I'm kind of in a relationship. Oh, yeah, so what do you do? And like, well, we're kind of just texting right now. I don't know how many times I've heard. like we're kind of just texting. I've got to news for you. You're not in a relationship right now. I'm just, that's not a relationship.

I'm like, how long has this been going on for? Oh, this long, okay, I have the bearer of bad news every day. Because in order to love, you need to make a decision. You need to decide. In fact, the gospel today, what does Jesus say? He says, okay, you need to decide. This is the heart of his gospel, Jesus Christ's gospel today. You have to decide.

Basically, he's saying, you have to choose. And what I'm inviting you to do is to choose me. Like, and keep on choosing me. Remember last week? The imitation was the inclusive love of God, that God's love wants to bring us in. Well, this week, God's love is saying, okay, now that you've been brought in, I want you to stay in. I want you to live in. Jesus says these words, he says, I want you to remain in me. Once his inclusive love has brought us in, when he says, I want you to, let's just stay here. Like, make that choice. So what does that look like? I think, It looks like the question, in some ways, I don't know, maybe this is, the question, where am I going to get plugged in?

Because every one of us is in some kind of transition. Maybe you're leaving for the summer. Maybe you're going back home, maybe going to a new town. Maybe you're staying here, but the community's changing around you, you know, different people are going to stay, different people are going to leave. And the question is still, where am I going to get plugged in? Like in my new community, where am I going to get plugged in? My new town, where am I going to get plugged in? In work?

Where am I going to get plugged in? When it comes to my parish? where am I going to get plugged in? Because I keep thinking about that term, plugged in. And obviously that reminds me of things like, I don't know, electrical appliances, things that have plugs. Because Jesus says the words, what's he say? He says, without me, you can do nothing. He doesn't say, without me, you can do less.

Because without me, you can do nothing. And think back to, like, a TV or, like, a microwave. So if a TV isn't plugged in, it doesn't have a weak signal, like you barely see the picture, it has no signal. Without being plugged in, a TV is useless. Same thing with the microwave. It's not like, look, it's not plugged in right now. It warms my food, but just warms it really, really slowly.

Like, no, it just, it brings it to room temperature and then it sits there. If it's not plugged in, it doesn't do anything. It can't do anything. But being plugged in is automatically limiting. Because I've got to say only this, only a cords distance away from my power source. being plugged in is automatically limiting, but it's also automatically powered. So it's the invitation to make the decision. And the decision is to live in Jesus, to remain in Jesus, to be plugged into Jesus.

And this decision is the condition that makes it possible to actually love. I mean, honestly, this decision provides the possibility even to love. because this decision limits us. But that limiting makes us free. In fact, it's the role of a promise. I mean, what is a promise? A promise is basically a formal decision. And that promise can actually set you free.

It means you're free to be here, to be doing what you're doing right now. It means you're free to love these people or this person. Yesterday, we had a wedding here in this church. And at this wedding, here's the bride. in the groom and they say to one another, hey, listen, here's the deal. I promise you, I'm here for you for the rest of my life until the day that I die. And so here's Jack and Jill, and they're

married now. And at one point, Jack meets Julie. He doesn't have to ask the question, wait, maybe it's Julie. No, he's already made the promise. The question has been answered. Here's Jill, and she meets James, because everyone apparently in this world has a J initial. And Jill meets James, and she doesn't have to, she doesn't have to ask the question, wait, maybe it's James. Like, no, why? Because she already made the promise. And because she made the promise, the question has been answered. Because she made the promise, the question has been answered. And the question has been answered because the promise has been made. And we should do this on a regular basis. And we should do it to the appropriate degree, right? Like on the first date, take the promise. The promise on our first date looks more like,

I'll be there at six. But the promise at your wedding is, I'll be there forever. So here's what I want us to do this week. This is the last things. Two last things. What I invite us to do this week is practice making the promise. Like practice making the promise. What I mean to say is practice choosing. Practice deciding in these two areas. One is Jesus says what. He says, remain in me. Be live in me. Be planted. Be plugged in. So invitation. It's finals week or it's your last week of school, whatever the week is for you, decide what time you will spend with Jesus. Like, you can decide tonight. And my invitation is to every one of us to write it down tonight. On Monday, when am I going to spend time with Jesus? On Tuesday, when I'm going to spend time

with Jesus? And my invitation is intentionally limit yourself in order to be free to love. By deciding on Sunday night, when you're going to pray on Friday, you're intentionally limiting yourself so that you are actually free to love on Friday the Jesus you love on Sunday night. Does that make sense? And so here's what I need to do. So every single morning, between 7 o'clock and 7.30, I need to go into the chapel for a holy hour. That's just what I, it's my promise is what I have to do to the Lord.

But I also know that in the evening time, I need to go in for at least half an hour to just, if my heart's going to belong to Jesus, I know I need to go back in every night for at least half an hour. And so I want to get in there between 8 and 8.30. But I also know that on Wednesday nights, we have 8 o'clock mass. it's difficult for me to have my personal prayer time during that time, because people are annoying and they get in your way. So I know myself. I know that after that I am too tired to get up, to stay up and keep praying. So, okay, I need to write down tonight that on this Wednesday,

I'm going to be in the chapel, not at eight, not at nine, but at five o'clock. That's when I need to go in there. And there's a thing, I can make the decision tonight to love Jesus on Wednesday. I can limit myself tonight as an act of love in order to free myself on Wednesday to truly love the one who has my heart. Does that make sense? It's just, every one of us tonight, write down for the next five days. And then we're practicing this for all summer. So all summer, the love you have for the Lord tonight can be lived out in June. The love you have for the Lord tonight can be lived out in August. To love in deed and in truth, not just in word and in speech. So when am I going to do this? and this is the real last thing, right?

Who am I going to love? So I love Jesus. That's my time with him, right? But who am I going to love? And I think sometimes when we have this, we make it too complex. We make it so complex. Like, oh, I need to find someone to love.

Like, no, they're right, they're probably living in your house. You're probably quarantined with them. They're probably the people who will know you the most. They're probably the people you can't get away from. Basically, they're the people who have been given to you. And maybe after this week or after next week, you're going to have to move back in with them.

And it won't be hard to figure out who Jesus is calling you to love. Because that's who it is. We can ask the question, who has been given to me to love? Who have I been given to in order to love? Those are the two questions

that we need to answer if we're going to actually love like Christ, if we're going to actually be rooted, we're going to be plugged in and remain in him. When am I going to spend time with him? To intentionally limit myself so as to be free to love. And who am I going to love? I'm going to love the people who have been given to me and the people to whom I've been given. There's so much, there is so much that you

could be doing. So much so that if we tried to do it all, we would never be done. But you and I, we can make the decision this week. We can make the decision this summer to limit yourself by saying, okay, this time goes to him and this love goes to them.