Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 05/05/19 #Fail: The Only Way to Fail

Episode Date: May 6, 2019

Homily from the Third Sunday of Easter. The only way for failure to be final is if you stop. Even sin is not final if you don’t stop. God has a call for you that is not erased by failure. Mass Readings from May 5, 2019: Acts 5:27-32, 40-41 Psalms 30:2, 4, 5-6, 11-12, 13Revelation 5:11-14 John 21:1-19 Download the Homily Study

So there's this man, his name is James Stiegler. James Stigler teaches psychology out at UCLA currently, but when he was a grad student, he went to University of Michigan. In 1979, he traveled to Japan. I read this article about this trip to Japan where he just wanted to study kind of Asian teaching practices because that's what his expertise is, is basically observational learning in classrooms and whatnot. And he tells the story about being there in one of these Japanese classrooms, fourth graders.

And the lesson for the day was teaching the fourth graders how to draw like a 3D cube, you know, a piece of paper. And there was one of students, most of the students got it right away. One student couldn't get it for the life of him. And so the teacher called that student up to try to draw the 3D cube on the blackboard, on the chalkboard. And James Diggler says, you know, that's funny because in the states, the kid who gets to go to the front of the classroom is the one who does the best, right? The one who, like, show everyone else how to do the thing. And in this case, it was completely the opposite.

It was the one who was struggling. And so this kid went up and could not, again, for the life of him, draw a 3D cube on the board. And so the teacher was just like, just keep trying. And every time he tried, the teacher would ask the class class, is this a look like you're supposed to look? And they'd all look up, and they'd say, nope, and they go back to their work. And he said, it took the kid the entire class period.

And he said, I wasn't sitting in back watching this whole thing. And he himself, Dr. Stigler, started sweating for the stress that this kid must be going through. But he said every time the teacher would say, class, is this to look like it's supposed to look? Class would look up, no. And the kid would just happily go back to work. He would keep trying again and again. And by the end of the class, period, he had successfully drawn a 3D cube on the board. And the teacher said, class, is it look like it's supposed to look?

And they all looked up like, yes, it does. They all applauded him. And the kid was very happy. And he said, I learned something in that moment. The difference between the way in the West we look at struggle and failure, and the way in the east, they look at struggle and failure. Because in the West, we'd say that kid was failing the entire time. But in the East, they would say, no, no, no, he was struggling the entire time. But struggle is not failure.

Like in fact, we have this tendency, I think, we have this tendency in the West to associate not doing something well immediately with, you're just not good. That losers lose. And winners win. That's how it is. People who fail are failures. and you never actually cross the line. In fact, the people we admire, sometimes, many of us, not all of us, we've embraced this myth of the prodigy.

That if you're going to be great at anything, it means you are automatically great from the beginning. Then if you have to actually struggle, if you have to fail, if you go through this process, it means just like, yeah, I mean, it's nice and everything, well done. But it's kind of like a defect of character. That's why in the West, doing something well means something, and failing, quote unquote,

means something to us at least. We love the story of the person who doesn't have to work. They just get to do it. We like that naturally gifted person because for many of us, failure means this is the end. For many of us, failure means, again, as I said, you're just not good. That's why we're doing this series, a little mini series

at the end of the semester, hashtag fail. Because one of the things that we have to realize is that failure is not final and losing is not lasting. Again, once again, just again, failure is not final and losing is not lasting, but that's our cap-that-that can be our perspective. And so it's interesting to see that that's not the perspective of people around the world. Again, go back to the east and how they approach failure, how they approach struggle. There was a woman, her name is June Lee, and June Lee, she basically studies the difference

between East and West, and one of the things she does is she watches and pays attention to how moms talk to their kids in the West and how moms talk to their kids in the East and how this translates into action. And so she had this conversation with a mom and her eight-year-old child. And she said, here's the conversation. She said, you know what smart people do? What do smart grownups do? And the kid said, well, I don't know.

Talk about books. And the mom said, yes, that's a pretty smart thing to do is talk about a book. Or the idea, like, smart people are the ones who do this. Smart people talk about books. Smart people read books. And you're a smart person or you're not a smart person. So which one are you? Which category do you fit into?

You're a smart or you're not smart. Are you a winner or you a loser? Do you have victory or do you fail? Which one are you? Because that's fixed. And there's another conversation she recorded in a mom and her eight-year-old Taiwanese mom and an eight-year-old Taiwanese kid

who had just gotten done with a piano recital. And the mom in this conversation, she says, she was trying to explain to the boy why he won. She said, she said, you practiced and you practiced with lots of energy, and it got really hard, but you made a great effort, and you even insisted on practicing all by yourself. So it was hard for you.

That's why you're good, because it was hard for you. Because you struggled, and you struggled through this. You know, it's interesting that if we have the idea that failure is final, that either translates into a willingness to work or an unwillingness to work. If I think failure is final, I have an unwillingness to work. Why? Because what good will it do? But I realize that failure is not final. That will translate into a willingness to work.

The last little quick example of psychology experiments they do on children these days. It happened a bunch of years ago, but they took a bunch of Americans first graders and a bunch of Japanese first graders. And they gave them a math problem that was actually impossible to solve. And just see what they would do with it. How long would they work at it? And the average amount of time the American first graders spent on this impossible math problem was 30 seconds. And they said, we don't know how to do this. We haven't had that class yet.

We haven't had this. We don't know what to do here. When they gave that same problem to the Japanese first graders, after an hour they had to tell them, they had to make them stop. After an hour they had to, in that fact, they said, no, no, we can do this. And the researchers had to explain. No, actually, it was an impossible math problem. There is no answer to it. And the researchers said, these first graders looked at us as if what kind of monsters are you

that would do this. But that's the difference, right? If I think that failure is final, then I have no willingness to work. You know, interesting thing about this is we recognize that as followers of Christ, we are free to struggle, but we are not free to stop. That you are free to struggle, but you are not free to stop. In some of those Asian cultures, they've interiorized what Christianity has been teaching ever since the very, very beginning.

Is the only way for failure to be final is if you stop. That's the only way. The only way for failure to be final is if you stop. Let me think about even the Acts of the Apostles today. Acts chapter 5. The apostles are brought before the Sahedron, and what do they say? We told you to stop. And what do they say?

We can't. They say, they bring them. bring them in and they say, we told you to stop, and yet you have filled all of Jerusalem with your teaching. Why won't you stop? These are the apostles in the midst of great struggle. They're not, they're experiencing some success, right? There's a lot of people who are coming to the faith, but they're also experiencing incredible trial. They're also experiencing a lot of failure. And here's the people that this Andrew is saying, we told you to stop, and yet you don't. Why not? And this is the big opportunity for them to give the answer.

Okay, Christian, we told you to stop and you're not stopping. Why are you not stopping? And he says, Peter stood up and he said, basically, can't stop one stop. He says, we must obey God rather than man. We can't stop. Because we must obey God rather than man. Here's the reality. Peter knew, he's like, because God placed a call on my life. Because God's given us a command.

Because God has created us for a destination. And so therefore, if I'm not there yet, I can't stop trying again. And this is the truth for every one of us here in this place. God created you with a call. God created you, and He's got a command. He's created you with a destination. And if you're not there yet, even if you're struggling, you cannot stop. Even if you're failed, that failure is not final.

Why? Because you haven't reached the destination yet, and that destination still exists. You're not disqualified. Your failure does not disqualify you. And how can Peter so confidently stand up and say that? Because of what we heard in the gospel today. I think it's amazing. It's such a gift to all of us that Jesus made

one of the biggest failures in the Gospels to be the first pope. I mean, the person who, I mean, like, we have doubting Thomas, but he, like, doubted for a second, one time. We have so many times, Peter, is he's the one who's failing. And especially on the biggest day of his life,

the most important night of Peter's life when he was made a priest, when he received Holy Communion, was the night that he denied even knowing Jesus. Three times. It's what does Jesus say. I mean, you can imagine what Peter would say, like, I'm disqualified.

I know Jesus, you made me, Pope, you made me the al-habite, right, the master of the house, you made me the prime minister. But I'm not disqualified. I failed. I'm out of that. That call you had for me, that destination you had for me, that's done. Why? Because failure must be final.

And tell today's gospel, when Jesus is looking right at Peter and says, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Yes, I do. Okay, then feed my sheep. Do you love me? Yes, I do. Then tend my lambs. Yes, I do.

Then feed my sheep. You know, it's really interesting because in our translation today, it says, Tend my lambs is the middle response. Feed my sheep, tend my lambs, feed my sheep. That word to tend in the original Greek is, I don't like our translation right now because the actual word is shepherd. That Jesus is saying to Peter, actually shepherd my sheep. Think about this.

Who's the good shepherd? Jesus is the good shepherd. And what he is saying to Peter, the failure. What is he saying to Peter? The loser. What he's saying to Peter? whose life, whose destination to call should be done with. He's saying, no, no, no. Peter, I need you.

I'm the good shepherd. I need you. I have a call for you. I have a command for you. I need you. And your sin is not disqualified you. Your failure is not final. I know you struggle, but you cannot. You cannot. You may not stop. You have a mission. Here's a deal. When someone is counting on you, you do not have permission to stop. When someone is counting on you, you do not have permission to stop.

This is what Jesus is saying to Peter. Peter, I know you have failed. I know you struggle. But the only way in your life for failure to be final is if you stop. And when someone's counting on you, you have permission to fail. You have permission to struggle, but you do not have permission to stop. I just think about this.

I mean, who could be counting on you right now? Some of you are married and you know who's counting on you. to be the man or to be the woman that they need you to be. If your mom or dad, your kids are counting on you, to be the you, they need you to be. I think about this. We have a seminarian, he's named Scott. He's a great guy, actually, he's an incredible, incredible guy.

He had never worked with our youth. I never worked with our college students until this last summer. And I saw him again this last fall, and I said, Scotty, how's it going? How is seminary? He's like, actually, you know, Father, seminary is really easy. Like, you can kind of skate by if you really wanted to. Like, I could get grades.

You know what they call priests who graduate with C's? Father. So, he was like, you could skate through. He said, but after spending all summer with the people of our diocese, after spending all summer with the youth in our dioces, after spending all summer with a bunch of college-age students, he says, they deserve better from me. Because when someone's counting on you,

you don't have permission to skate by. Because I was counting on you, you don't have permission to stop. I think about this, those graduating seniors this year, when you were born, I, who get to be your spiritual father for a limited amount of time, hopefully eternity. When you were born, I had already been praying every day for 10 years, reading my Bible every day for 10 years, getting ready. Not perfectly, I didn't do it every day. I mean, it sounds better if I say every day.

When you were born, I had already been studying philosophy and theology for six years. Because when someone's counting on you, you can't stop. When you were born, I'd already been sinning for 26 years. But when someone's counting on you, you can't stop. And I know that a lot of you are in a season right now where it's like, ah, but I'm struggling so hard and I'm not moving forward. I have these presentations and I'm failing at this. I have this class, it's just overwhelming to me.

I have this project, and I just don't know if it's gonna get done. Some of you have been applying to work, and it's like, man, I don't get called back, I don't know what to do. Some of you are about applying to graduate schools, and it's just like, it's not working out. And I know that sometimes in the midst of failure, you just want to stop. You are free to fail. You are free to struggle, but you are not free to stop. You know, it's funny, one of my older sisters, her name's Amy.

Amy's an orthopedic surgeon right now, but she had to apply to med school three times. Not because she enjoyed it so much, and she just wanted to put the application in. She had to apply three times because every time she would apply, she would get rejected. Every time she'd go through the process, take the MCAT again, take other classes again, do other work on the side again, to make herself more admissible to medical school, and she would get rejected again. It was funny because after every time she got rejected, she would contact the admissions officers and just say, okay, you know, my name is my name, and I wasn't accepted to your medical school.

Can you tell me what I can do so that next time I'll be a more attractive candidate? Because that was her attitude. There is going to be a next time. So what can I do now so that next time I'm a more attractive candidate? it because she had this thing in herself that would say, listen, I've got patience. Some are alive right now. Some have not yet been born, but they are counting on me. When someone's counting on you, you do not have permission to stop.

And there is going to be a next time because I'm not going to stop. And this is the thing that applies to any call that God has on your heart right now. That applies to any command God has given you right now. That in the midst of failure, you want to stop, you can't. But also in the midst of victory. So some of you are like, actually, father, I'm, like, pretty doing well. I have my pick of whatever school I wanted to go to. I have my pick whatever job I want.

I have my pick of whatever grade I want in class. I don't know what the hell goes. But, like, some of you are actually doing really, really well right now. And you say, actually, this whole hashtag fail series is not really connecting with me because I'm kind of hashtag winning. It's my life. I know who you are. because you never stop reminding us all.

But when we're failing, we want to stop. It's also true when we're winning. Sometimes we want to stop. Even when we're winning, we want to stop. You know, in the Old Testament, there's a prophet, his name is Elijah. And one of the greatest days of Elijah's life, the day that Elijah has a massive victory. So what happens is on Mount Carmel there in Israel.

And Jezebel and Ahab are the queen and king of evil. And they send the prophets to bow kind of to have a showdown, smack down with Elijah, and Elijah just like trounces everybody. Like God shows up for Elijah just in a powerful, powerful way. And Elijah, plus God, more God than Elijah, completely have victory. They defeat the prophets of Bail. Totally begin the destruction of Jezebel's reign. Even that night, there's a rainstorm that starts, and they have to race away from the site.

And scripture says that Elijah ran faster than King Ahab's chariots. So he also set a world record for running. That day. It was a big day for Elijah. And he gets to this place after running a long time. The biggest day of his life, biggest win of his life, and he lays down and he says, God, just let me

die now. Not like, I'm so happy, let me die now. Like God, I am so done. Let me die now. Because this is the truth. Sometimes after our failures, we want to lay down and die. Sometimes after our victories, we just want to lay down and die. So what I do now? What is there left to do now? And God speaks to Elijah and says, no, Elijah,

rest for a moment. But then eat and get up and keep going. And don't stop. Because you might think that the biggest battles you faced were then in your youth, Elijah, actually the battles that you are being called to face even bigger, more important, are going to be the battles you face after you've won. the decision to keep going, to not stop after you've won. I remember talking about that years ago. I was actually preaching in my home area, like in this-wah kind of area, the lakes country by Brainerd. I preached on that. And this man I knew, because, you know, it's a small community.

I know you know everybody kind of a thing. This man I know who I would consider like a massively successful guy, older man. I knew his family growing up. I went to school with his kids. And he came up after that and was like, wow, yeah. Yeah, I look at him and I was thinking, like, this is a guy that by all metrics of like success in our world, he was, he killed it at life. Incredibly successful at his work. Incredibly successful when it came to like his accomplishments and privately, when it came to like being a great dad and a great husband.

Like all these ways, you look at him and go like, oh my gosh, this guy, he crushed it. But he came up after that mass and he's just like, man, that is exactly how I feel. I just kind of semi-dismissed it. I registered it, but didn't know what was going on. Later on, I found out that this man, in the face of his having to retire, in the face of his failing health, in the face of all of his kids, you know, who I went to school with, growing up and leaving, then in the face of loss, he had become alcoholic.

Because he had won, but now it was just this process of things being taken away from him. And he hadn't learned how to lose. And so instead of like losing well, losing his occupation, losing his kids to just age, losing his health, instead of learning how to lose, he had turned to numb himself and he was running away from it. Because, I mean, seriously, how can you top that? How can you, if you look, I wish I could describe the way he lived his life. How could you top the way he had lived his earlier life? There is no way. All there is now is losing.

all there is now is failing. So he just numbed himself to his failure. I found this out when he was in recovery, and he's been sober now for, I don't know how, seven, eight years, something like this, has been phenomenal, amazing, because he realized that failure is not final unless you stop. And yes, there's a season in all of our lives

when there's battle after battle after battle, and actually can be fun. But there's also a season in every one of our lives when there's only one battle left and then one battle is losing well. That one battle is failing well and yet still getting up and not stopping. And this is the last thing because not only do the apostles show us how to fail well, how to struggle well, they got it from our Lord. I don't know if you ever prayed with the stations of the cross.

You know the stations of the cross? In this station of the cross, there's 14 of them. Three of the stations are Jesus falling. There's the one station. Jesus falls the first time. A couple of stations later. Jesus falls the second time. And then even later, Jesus falls the third time.

And I've been praying a lot the last couple weeks with Jesus falls a third time. And trying to get into that scene and just like picture it in my prayer. Here is Jesus. Who fails? Here's Jesus who his cross, his cross crushes him and he falls to the ground. And as my prayer, I would see him try to get up. And my prayer is just talking to him going, Jesus, why are you trying to get up? You get up.

What's your next step? Is Galgatha? Jesus, if you struggle through this and you don't stop and you, failure is not final, the fall is not final, and you get up. The next stop is they nail you to that cross and you die there. So why are you still going? And he still goes, he still moves, he doesn't stop, because failure is not final. Regardless of how you fall, it is not the end.

Because yes, when he got to Galgatha, that is where he died. But we're not here on Sunday in Duluth, Minnesota, because some random person died on a Friday 2000 years ago. We were here on this Sunday in Duluth, Minnesota, because two thousand years ago, Our God, whose man, died on a Friday and rose from the dead on a Sunday to let us know that failure is not final. That even when all you have left to do is to lose really, really well, the only way for failure to be final is if you stop. And so my brothers and sisters, I'm just my invitation, the command that God has placed over you, the call he has placed in your heart is this is not the end, that this is not the end, that you have permission, to fail and you have permission to struggle but you do not have permission to stop.