Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 09/01/19 Oh, Vanity

Episode Date: September 1, 2019

Homily from the Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time. The high price of vanity. It is easy to think of vanity as nothing more than being conceited or overly concerned about one’s appearance. But the vice of vanity comes at a cost: A person could even find themselves living someone else’s life. Mass Readings from September 1, 2019: Sirach 3:17-18, 20, 28-29 Psalms 68:4-5, 6-7, 10-11Hebrews 12:18-19, 22-24 Luke 14:1, 7-14

So when I was growing up, my family once went on a vacation. It was unusual. Usually our vacation was not fancy. We went on the cruise and it was really phenomenal. I remember almost nothing about this cruise except for, I remember almost no people from this cruise except for two people who stand out. It's so weird. I was probably like 14 years old when we did this trip and there are these two human beings.

They were a couple. You ever see those couples that when you see them together, you're like, really? How did that happen? Because like someone's kind of outclassing the other, you're a little bit like, like, huh, that's, you're either punching way above your weight class, you're kind of like, while you're reaching for the top, or like, really, is this kind of a charity thing? What's going on with the kind of a jerk?

Sure, right, the priest's jerk. I'm the only one who's ever noticed this. We've all noticed this. This was not that case. This was the case of like, I don't know how to say this other than, they were two of the most attractive people I've ever seen in my entire life, at least up to that point. And I was like, wow, you found each other.

It was one of those situations where I was like, Yeah, that makes sense. That's like you were bred in a lab to like... Because he was like... Again, I don't want to be weird about this, but like he was just like the most like handsome, tan, chiseled, like cut guy I'd ever seen in my life. And she was the most beautiful female version of that kind of the whole thing.

And so whenever we'd walk, they'd walk into the dining room, and everyone would stop and like, there's the beautiful couple. You know, whenever they walk on the pool deck would stop and there's a beautiful couple. And it was just one of those things like, wow, this is fascinating. I've never seen, again, as I said, anyone that attractive. My guess is they knew it, but had no way of knowing that they knew it until later. They had that the, at one point in the course of the cruise, they do this thing where they shoot trap off the back of the boat, right?

So you know, trap shooting, take a shotgun, and the clay pigeons, they say, pull and my acting skills are superb, because now you know what I'm talking about. So, well, my family, like, from Minnesota, we're going to enter the trap shooting contest, of course, and this guy showed up as well. Kind of give away the ending. My sister ended up winning the female division, nine out of ten, not bad. My dad ended up winning the male division, 10 out of 10, would recommend. And this guy, but when he got the shotgun, it was really, it was interesting

because, you know, he lined up and this is the guy. This is the dude, right? This is, he looks the part. And maybe five shots in, he hasn't hit anything. You know, the other phrase, couldn't hit the broad side of the barn. This is like, see also this guy. But the interesting thing was after he missed, you know, a few, four or five times. he started doing this thing.

It was just like, it was so fascinating. Like, he'd say pull, and the clay pigeon would, like, go off to the right. And he would intentionally see it go off to the right and swivel to the left and, like, shoot into empty space. Like, the idea of, like, I don't care about this. This is just a joke to me. And then actually, he even, he even, like, took the shotgun, like, shot from the hip. If you ever shot a shotgun from the hip, it is a bad idea. But I'm like, what, dude, you can't hit anything.

You're going to hit somebody with this thing. It was so fascinating because I remember sitting there. they're standing there, again, 14 years old, going, oh, that's what vanity looks like. It was just like this kind of awareness of up to that point, no, just a good looking guy, good looking gal. Whether they knew it or not, didn't matter. And that moment, like, that's what vanity looks like. That's what it looks like to care so much about how people see you that you're not even willing to try.

You know, we're going to talk about vanity tonight, and I imagine if I bring that up, you're like, Father, we get it. Don't be vain. Don't be so concerned with how you look. Don't be so concerned with how you dress. We have like this kind of really, maybe immature view of vanity. That's not vanity. Vanity isn't like, you know, the conceited old guy who's like stressing out because he's losing his hair. You know, vanity is not the conceited older woman who gets like the lip injections or whatever. That's not, that's a symptom of vanity, but that's not like the heart of vanity. You know, in the first reading today, it's Syrac chapter 3. And it says something. It says, the mind of a sage appreciates

Proverbs. An attentive ear is the joy of the wise. Remember thinking about this. The wise person, or the humble person it talks about is open to learning. So, you know, a couple weeks ago when I was looking at this reading, I wrote, to the next to those words, I wrote, someone who's willing to learn. The mind of a sage appreciates Proverbs. They're willing to learn. They're willing to grow. They're willing to change. The vain person can't learn. Why? Because the vain person can't do anything new. The vain person can't learn because then they'll be seen as the beginner, not as the expert. The vain person, if we give in, if we lean into, let it go out of control of our vanity, and we all experience it, we all

experience it, we get to the point where we can't even laugh at ourselves. No one better laugh at us. Because the pursuit of the vain person is all about image control. It's all about impression management. Because here's the definition, the real actually definition of vanity. The definition of vanity is, and the inordinate preoccupation with what other people think about me. Again, the inordinate preoccupation with what other people think about me. And then you can think about like, okay, shoot, here we are on campus, whether you're returning or showing up for the first time, walking through the hallway, man, oh man, what are people thinking about me?

How am I doing? Am I fitting in? Am I blending in? Am I being out there? or what do people think? This is the question so many of us have whenever we go to someplace new or see a bunch of new people. It's like, how am I doing?

And that vanity is the inordinate preoccupation with other people think of us. Now, caveat, if there's such a thing as the inordinate preoccupation, that means there is such a thing as the ordinate preoccupation or the ordinate awareness. Because there's, there's, it is actually very helpful to be aware of what people are thinking of you, isn't it? I mean, it's the kind of, that awareness is the kind of thing that reminds you to close your mouth. when you're chewing your food, like, right? Like, oh, there's people around.

I can't just, like, eat the food over my sink like a rat. Like, it's the kind of, that awareness of what other people are thinking of you is reminds you, like, okay, don't pick your nose in public. Don't pick your nose in public. Like, don't, it's, that awareness of what other people are thinking is what gets you to realize, oh, I've been talking this entire time, I should probably stop and ask the other person how their day was. Like, that's, awareness is, can build a bridge, right?

That awareness of how other people are doing can become, it can be incredibly helpful until it becomes an obstacle, until it becomes the inordinate preoccupation with what other people are thinking of me. Because we realize, I'm hearing someone say this once. They said there are three versions of every person. There's three versions of every person. The you, others think you are.

The you you think you are. And the you God knows you are. There's that version that other people think you are. And in the recognition, there's the version of me, the version of me that I think I am, the version of me that God knows I am, but that version that other people think you are. That's totally normal. It's not a false version. If you think about this, like every thing someone thinks about you, it's not completely a lie.

It's just not the complete picture, right? Yes, it's part of what you're into, is part of what you're about. It's a variation of your true self. It's just not the whole picture. It's not the whole truth. It's the fact that there are some things about you that people in college know that people in high school don't and vice versa. None of those versions, none of those versions are bad until we become a slave to that,

until we become a slave to the version of you that other people think you are. What's that it look like? It looks like when we start doing something that no variation of us would ever do because of what others might think. It looks like when we stop doing what we know is right because of what others might think. To give into that is basically, you might say, it's a live life on stage.

And a lot of us, if we've leaned into vanity, you've walked in the road of vanity for a long time, we feel like we're living life on stage. You know in the gospel today, Jesus gives these instructions when you go to a dinner. Don't go to the highest place or else you've got to be sent down to the lowest place. Go and send to the lowest place.

Now, a couple of things about this. This is not Jesus giving, like, you know, some Israeli dining tips, etiquette, when you go to a wedding feast. It's also not Jesus saying, like, here's how to manipulate your host to invite you to, because I mean he goes, go to the lowest place, and then he's going to be like, dude, what are you doing down there? Oh, shucks, I belong down here. No, get up there, you go. Like, again, my mind.

So sorry. That's not what he's saying. Because it says, Luke even says very clearly, Jesus addressed to them this parable. Whenever we have a parable, it's not a. the thing. It's about something bigger than this thing. So what's Jesus describing? He's describing this person who's on stage. You took the highest spot and then you have to go to the lowest spot and he says this, then proceeds with embarrassment to take the lowest spot. Why? Because I'm on stage. Everyone's looking at me. And I'm so concerned with what other

people are thinking of. I have this inordinate preoccupation with where others think of me. So if I get reduced, I'm embarrassed. If I get lifted up, I feel exalted. It's living life on stage, and that's an interesting thing. Vanity always requires an audience. And if I just live my life on stage, that means I'm constantly performing. Vanity always requires an audience, even if the audience is just me. Even if the audience is just myself. You know, we have that sense of, there's the version that we think we are as well.

You know, sometimes I think that we think vanity. is the kind of thing that gives us puffed up. But the version that a lot of us here think of ourselves is not puffed up. We don't think, like, we typically don't go around all day thinking, I am the most amazing person in the world. A lot of us go around a lot of the days thinking, I am a pretty awful person. There's the version we want other people to think, but there's also the version of ourselves that we think we are.

And sometimes that version of who we are, who we think we are, is not accurate, not puffed up, but the kind of vision of ourselves that shrinks back. And again, again, just keep this mind. Vanity doesn't always lead us to like try to take the center stage. Sometimes vanity makes us reduce the way we've been living or call to live. For example, have you ever had that sense of like, you just have this sense of joy, the sense of like freedom, interior, just like you want to go up and you're like,

I don't know, people will think I'm a little bit extra. Or you have this sense of like, here's what I really want to do. I really want to say this. I really want to be this person. But I don't know what other people might think. Or I don't think that's really myself. And so what ends up happening is we end up living as someone else. In our own life, we end up living as someone else because of what others might think

or because of what we think about ourselves. And think about the price of this, the cost of this, is you end up depriving yourself of the you that God created you and redeemed you to be. Even more than that, we end up depriving the people around us from the you that they need you to be. Like the joy that God wants you to have, the freedom he wants you to have, the life and like that sense of sense of self. He wants because he knows who you really are. That is the person that the people next to you, the people closest to you, the people who love you,

that's the version of you that they need you to be. But instead we just walk through life, again, living as someone else. This different version, not even the true version of ourselves. So how do we, this big question is on, what do I do? How do I battle that? I remember when I was in my, I maybe 16 or 15 years old, had a conversion to Christ in And I was trying to figure out how to, like, how do I live? How do I live like a saint?

How do I move forward? And I didn't have anyone I could ask. So my mom had a bunch of books lying around. And so I'm like, well, I'll find out how to be a saint by reading the book. I'll be a saint and a nerd at the same time. And there was this one, like, parable story about a young monk who is struggling with the same thing as vanity. He went to the old monk and he said, father, I just, I find myself being so, like, inflated when people give me praise. And I'm just defeated when people criticize me.

What do I do? How do I escape this vanity? And the old priest, the old monk says, go to the monastery cemetery and walk amongst our dead brothers. And I want you to go to this afternoon. And when you're walking amidst their graves, I want you to praise them. You know, go to Brother Isaac, to his grave,

and then praise Brother Isaac, and go to Brother Joseph and praise Brother Joseph. And go to Brother whoever and praise Brother. And then come back. So he goes, does it, comes back. Did you do what I told you? Yes, I praised all of the, the brothers in the cemetery. And he said, how did they respond? How did they react? What

did they do? And he said, they didn't do anything. He said, okay, go back to the cemetery and go to the same brothers and insult them. I'd say the worst things possible about them, criticize them up and down. So he goes back, and brother Isaac and brother Joseph, and brother comes back and he says, did you do what I asked you? Yes, I did exactly what you asked you. Did you criticize them? Yes. Did you insult them? Yes. Did you say all these terrible things about them? Yes. What did they do? They didn't do anything. He says that's what you need to do. To not be overly inflated. when people praise you

and not be destroyed when people criticize you. To be like that. Because they're dead, but you've been crucified in Christ. You've died in Christ. And so you're now free to actually be

the version of you that God knows you're meant to be. Because again, again, remember this, a healthy awareness of like, how am I being perceived right now? That can be really, really helpful. But there's a line. And the line is this.

When I'm willing to trade my joy, when I'm willing to trade my freedom, when I'm willing to trade my interior peace, when I'm willing to trade what's right or the truth, for their opinion, that's the line. And I've crossed. Another way to say it is, when I trade the version, God knows you to be in exchange for the version of what others think you are, or the version you think you are, that's the line. I think about like the price of being anyone other than the you, God knows you are. Like the price of that.

We've talked about this before, but remind us of this. To be anyone other than the actual you that God knows you are, are, that's actually not a real version. It's not a true version of you. It's what you might call a false version,

and God doesn't love that version of you. God doesn't love the false version of any of us. He can't, because that false version is false. It's not real. God can only. love the you you really are. But if I spend most of my time as those other versions of me, that means I spend most of my time as a version of me that God can't love. Imagine going through your life as someone that God can't love

because it's not really you. On the other side, imagine the opposite. Imagine actually letting yourself be that you God knows you are and walking through life constantly knowing, no, I'm beloved. I'm known. I'm known. I matter. Not vanity, but telling the truth. So what do I do? Do I just not care what other people think? No. What I do is I ask God, God, how do you see me?

This is kind of the answer. I ask the question, God, how do you see me? Now, again, at this point, some people can say, like, well, and God looks at you and is like, oh, buddy, here's how I see you. You're the most perfect thing I've ever made in my entire, tire life. And, like, there's nothing wrong with you, and there's nothing that needs to be changed, and there's nothing that needs to be fixed, and you're just perfect the way you are. False, fake news, right there.

Like, that is not true, right? And if we try to convince ourselves that when God looks at it, he's like, oh, my precious perfect angel, that is not true because you and I know the truth. I know angel. I'm not perfect. Here's how it goes down. Syrac, three, once again. It says this, he says, humble yourself.

No, he says this. He says, what is too sublime for you, seek not. into things beyond your strength, search not. Now, our modern day and age would say, oh, that, insulting. What's too sublime for you? Listen, honey, there is nothing too sublime for you. Like, things beyond your strength, search not?

Like, aw, oh, buddy, pal, honey, darling, sugar plum. Like, there is nothing beyond, there's nothing too great for you. That's what our world says. Like, you are limitless, false. You and I are full of limits. We're full of so much brokenness. We're full of so much, like, just,

woundedness, and there's so much in my heart and in your heart, in our hearts that are completely not perfect. I mean, how many of us have made a shipwreck of the gifts God has given us? I mean, in the last three hours. And when God looks at us, he's like, listen, I know about the mess. And he doesn't say, no, no, no, no, no, he looks into you. He looks at me and he says, listen, I know the who you really are. I know about the mess. I know about the wounds. You don't have to hide them. I know about every part of your heart that's been shattered and broken into pieces. I know about all of it. And I also see the light that shines out of you that I put there. And God looks at you and he says like, yes, I see everything. You are weak and you are poor,

but you are mine and you are loved. I mean, crying out loud, we come to Mass and we stand and pray in front of this crucifix. And here's God who says, actually, this is what I needed to do for you because this is what was supposed to happen to you. This is how broken you. are. When we look at the crucifix, he's saying, this is how broken you are. You look at the crucifix and he says, this is how loved you are. So how do I escape vanity? God, how do you see me? Look at the cross. That's how broken you are. And look at the cross. That is how loved you are. Sirach gives us the last answer. He says, humble yourself the more, the greater you are, and you will find favor with God. Again, humility is just telling the truth. It's not saying,

ah, shucks, I'm no good. No, humility is telling the truth. This is how broken I am. And this is how loved I am. Humble yourself, the more, the greater people think of you. The more powerful that the version of you, the other people think, the more powerful the version of you think you are. Tell the truth even more. Lean into it even more.

Take that lowest place. And this is the last thing. What's the lowest place in the Catholic Church? Like I just, it's honestly, it's kind of a legit question. What's the lowest place? seat with the lowest chair you can go sit in and almost any Catholic church. I'd say it's the confessional. And so Jesus says, take the lowest spot. And it's so interesting before Mass, we have confession 45 minutes before every Sunday Mass and 30 minutes before every daily

Mass. And here in the back of the back road, there's people lined up. And they don't typically line up like, hey, look at me. I'm super holy going to confession. You're like, hey, please don't look at me. I'm super sinner going to confession. Like oftentimes, even what keeps people from going to confession sometimes is like, oh, just don't look at me. What are other people going to think of me as they walk by? Here I am in line. Or even going into confession, like, oh, what's the priest going to think of me? And you can realize that that vanity, the inordinate preoccupation with the other people think,

could actually keep someone from going to the lowest space. But telling the truth, humility, telling the truth, is like, no, that's where I belong. This is me, someone who's weak. This is me, someone who's broken. This is me, someone who's wounded. This is me, a sinner. I'm poor. And the crazy thing is, when we do that, what does he do in the gospel?

He says that he'll take them that person and bring them to the highest place. That is exactly what happens to you in confession. We go in there and saying, this is me. I'm broken. I'm poor. God, I need so much help. And what does he do in his healing? He lifts you up to the highest place.

Why? Because you're willing to be the version of you that he knows you to be. Yes, weak. And yes, made strong. Yes, empty and poured out. And yes, filled. Yes, a sinner. And yes, forgiven.

Yes, poor. And in his goodness, God makes a home for the poor. This week we just pray that the Lord helps us actually escape vanity. Escape living someone else's life. Escape not telling the truth. is that we can live in the home that he has made for all of those who are willing to be poor.