Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 09/19/21 Desperate

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Homily from the Twenty-fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Edit, Convince, and Worry. Or Honesty, Trust, and Thanking God ahead of time. The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation." We do not merely desire, we have inordinate desire driven by fear. We do not merely have ambition, we have selfish ambition in which we can only envision one possible outcome. To escape this trap, we must lean into honesty, trust and thanking God ahead of time. Mass Readings from September 19, 2021: Wisdom 2:12, 17-20 Psalms 54:3-6 and 8James 3:16—4:3 Mark 9:30-37

So back in the younger days when I was high school college age, I dated this girl and had to specify, back then I did this girl. We had an incredible, we had the most, we had an incredible, really fun, really great relationship for one year and it was amazing. The problem was we dated for three years. And it was totally my fault. What happened was after a year of dating,

I got the sense that she was going to break up with me. And so I launched into perfect boyfriend mode. And I was like, okay, I will do everything possible to give her no reason whatsoever to break up with me. I'm going to be, again, I'll go over the top with everything. I'll drive to whoever she needs me to drive. I'll get her what she wants to get. Even though she doesn't even know she wants to get, I will get those things for her because I'm going to be the perfect boyfriend. So I'm going to be so perfect that if she ends up breaking up with me, all of her friends will say, you're crazy.

Why did you do that? He was the perfect boyfriend. And she'd be crying, I know. What have I done? I've ruined my life. I didn't want her to ruin her life. I just didn't want her to break up with me. That's the story.

And I realized. wanted to quote and we keep dating, it wasn't just like, I like her a lot. It was, I was driven, it was driven by fear, like, right, this fear of losing her, this fear of not having her, this fear I couldn't imagine any outcome other than us being together. And there are a lot of words you can use to describe me during that time, pathetic, lame, yeah, fill in the blank, but one word clearly is I was desperate. Clearly, I was desperate. And again, desperate isn't just desire. To be desperate is desire driven by anxiety. It's desire driven by fear.

It's desire driven by this need for this particular outcome and no other. You know what happened ultimately is at one point she did break up with me. Spoiler alert. Over the phone, though. Let's just, in my defense, it was over the phone. And I remember being on the phone, she told me she didn't have time to da-da-da, all these things. And I was just devastated. And I remember, honestly, running down the hallway of my dorm.

like in a movie, you know, this emotional. I ran across campus, ran to the chapel, and I was going to throw myself in front of Jesus in the Eucharist just like, just brokenhearted. And I went in front of Jesus in the Eucharist, and I knelt down and I started praying ready to just have everything shattered. And I was like, oh, well, I'm sad, but I'm going to live. It was one of those, it took me about surprise.

I was so desperate, I thought I'd be devastated. And it was like, yeah, it was kind of sad. But at the same time, I realized, oh, I have wasted so much of my life, so much of my life on this desperation that was, I know I know other people. We're desperate about things way more important than keeping your high school girlfriend when you go off to college.

Like, so many of us have experienced more sufferings than that. And yet what happens a lot of times is I think, hopefully I've grown since then. Hopefully I'm not driven by the same kind of fear, driven by the same kind of anxiety, driven by the same kind of desperation. But I found this, I found that even if we outgrow some of those things we worry about,

we just exchange those old worries for new worries. I think a lot of times you exchange those old fears for new fears. I think we sometimes change that desperation, exchange that desperation for one outcome, for desperation for another outcome. I think that's one of the reasons why the man Henry David Thoreau, he had this really insightful saying he once said, he said, the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation,

that most of us end up living lives of quiet desperation. And I think he's right. I think most of us are honest. There's another author who noted this, and he acknowledged he said, He said, we often find ourselves on the desperate treadmill of desire. Thoreau said, he said the problem is, we have too many wants. In fact, he says, we multiply our wants.

If you have that sense where you're like, okay, I need the thing, whatever the thing is, I need to have the thing, I need to accomplish the thing, I need to do the thing. And you're just so desperate to have, to accomplish, to do the thing. And then you do it. Then you have it. And you move on to the next thing. Yeah, I got the thing. That's fine.

I need now, I need the next thing. That's what James, in the second reading today. It's James chapter 3. He says this. He says, you covet, but you do not possess. Like, you want the thing, but you don't know how to have the thing. Like you want this so badly, you don't know how to enjoy it once you finally have it. You covet, but you do not possess.

You want it, but you don't know how to hold it. See, again, the problem isn't desire. The problem isn't wanting something. What creates desperation is inordinate desire driven by fear. Not just, I want what I want, but I want what. I want so badly and I don't care what it costs. I want what I want. I don't care what it costs.

I need this outcome because no other outcome will be good enough. So Thoreau had a mentor. His mentor was Ralph Waldo Emerson was Thoreau's mentor. And he said he loved Thoreau, but he said Thoreau had one major problem. His major problem was that he lacked ambition. I think he knew Thoreau really well, but I don't think he was right about this. I think he recognized that in Thoreau, he didn't have the same ambitions as Emerson did. Because Thoreau was driven.

He had a lot of ambition. And when he went to the woods, what did he say? He went to the woods because he wanted to live intentionally. That was he was driven by it. He wanted to know himself. He said he moved to the woods. He wanted to suck the marrow from life. He had ambition.

He just didn't have the same kind of ambition as Rolf Walder Emerson had. In fact, we have to realize that ambition like desire is not always wrong. Ambition is what drove people to sail around the world. Abission is what drove human beings to create the ability to fly. Abition is what drove people to have the first heart transplant. So ambition is not a bad thing. What James is talking about, again in that second reading today, he talks about a thing he calls selfish ambition, not just ambition.

That's not bad. He calls it selfish ambition, which is really interesting words. So I just learned this the other day, so I want to share my knowledge with you all. In Greek, that word that James uses is the word erythea. And it's one of those words that evolved over the course of time. So Erethea, when it was first coined, when it was first used, it was used to refer to women who would spin and get paid for spinning like wool or flax or cotton, that kind of thing, fabric.

And they get paid for it. So if you were, that was your job, you were, you did Erethea. And then it became a word that referred to any work done for hire. You didn't have to spin anything you did. You did it for hire, you're a carpenter for hire, Erethea. Same kind of thing. Anything you got paid for, that was Erethea. And then it became a word that,

the kind of work that's done solely for what one could get out of it. So not just something you enjoy doing or something you're doing for someone else, but it's just your only reason you're doing this is because you want something back from it. And then actually this word Arethea entered into the political realm, and Erethia was used in reference to politicians who were merely out for themselves and nothing else and are ready to use any kind of means to gain their own end. So when James uses it in the second reading today, He says, avoid selfish ambition.

He's not talking about ambition. He's talking about the kind of mentality, the kind of attitude, the kind of approach that is willing to do anything to obtain their own end. The idea that says, I don't care what it costs, I need this outcome. I'm convinced that I need this particular outcome. And we experience this on a daily basis. I don't know, even like going to class, like you're on the way to class, anxious, desperate about this because I need to sit in my seat.

Like that's mighty walk in. You walk in and someone's in your seat. Class is ruined. The day is ruined. years ruined, I might as well drop out of college. Or you get on a bus, like, no, I sit and this is my spot on the bus. Or even something like relationship. I need this outcome.

I need to have this particular relationship by this particular age or my life is over. I need this position. I need this promotion by this point or else I might as well just quit. Like there's the sense we have, we can be driven by this particular outcome. I need to be this kind of success or I'm a failure. I need to be recognized like this or I'm nobody. I need this particular cure or God isn't good. so oftentimes our lives are driven by desperation

and so Thoreau says the mass of us end up living lives of quiet desperation so what do we do about it is of course the question when we live these lives driven by an inordinate desire driven by fear of not having this particular outcome what I think I think a lot of times how we approach God is how we approach life how we talk to God is how we view how we live. And so I think a lot of times we approach God desperate.

Like whenever you really, really want something from God, we approach God with this desperation. And so I think that desperation when we talk to God is marked by three things. I think it's marked by editing ourselves. I think it's marked by trying to convince God. I think it's marked by worrying while we wait. A lot of times we approach God with desperation

and we edit ourselves, we convince God, and we worry while we wait. We worry while we work. So in the gospel today. This story. is Jesus who makes the second prediction of his passion. Basically, Jesus is saying, here's what's going to happen. Going to Jerusalem. They're going to arrest me, torture me, kill me, and arise from the dead.

And after he tells this, I make a picture of the scene, Jesus is walking up ahead, and right after this, the disciples are all arguing about what? They're arguing about who's the greatest? After Jesus says, okay, I'm going to get killed, they're like, yeah, but who's the best? After him, who's the next person? What happens? They get to the town they're going to, and he asks them,

what were you guys talking about along the way? And the gospel says, they remain silent. going to tell you. You tell them. I'm not going to say. We do this all the time. What we care about, what we argue about, what we want, we edit. So we come to God and we don't actually tell them what we care about. We don't actually tell them what matters to us. We don't actually even tell them what we desire. We edit ourselves when we talk to the Lord. How many times you say, well, I'm not going to bring that up in prayer. It's stupid. I'm not going to bring that up in prayer. It's too small. I'm not going to

bring that up in prayer because, I mean, I know it's wrong. I'm not going to mention that to God. But you realize what kind of relationship would you have with anybody if you constantly edited yourself and didn't actually tell them what you cared about? Didn't actually tell them what was on your heart. What kind of relationship would that be if you kept approaching someone else and you're like, no, this is too small to mention, but it's too important to leave your heart. We have to realize this truth is God cares about what you care about. We don't need to edit ourselves because God cares about what you care about. Not because what you care about or what I care about is important, but because you're important.

I mean, how many times you have a parent who, is mom and dad, who would never have done the sport that their child is in? They never were interested in it at all. Or they were never in band. They were never in the school play. But their kid got into that sport and they were like super fans. Or their kids started playing the flute. Like, yeah, the flute's the most amazing instrument.

Or they would go into these high school plays, which are not the high, you know, it's art, but still, it's. But they're showing up. every single time and they love it, not because they love school plays, not because they love the flute, not because they love basketball or whatever the thing is, it's because they love their child. So they care about the thing because they care about what their child cares about. The same thing is true for our father in heaven. He wants to know what's in your heart. He wants you to share what's in your heart. Why? Not because what's in your heart is so important,

but because you are important. So what we need, the answer for editing is honesty. We find ourselves editing ourselves before God. No, the answer to edit. is honesty. God, I'm going to tell you what I care about. I'm going to tell you what's in my heart. But a lot of times when we tell God what's in our heart, when we are honest, we do this next thing. You know what James says, you ask, but you ask wrongly. Now, how can you, question, how can you pray wrongly? How can you ask God for something wrongly? Well, he says you spend it on your passions, but I think there are a lot of ways we can ask God wrongly. And I think one of those ways a lot of us fall into is instead of asking God for something, we try to convince him.

Like we show up to God and we're like, okay, God, here's a deal. I want to show you my track record. This is why you should consider me for the position of whatever. God, this is why you should consider the answering my prayer because look how good I've been for the last 20 minutes. I've been so good. Or like, or we have this future promise of God, I promise. If you give this to me, I will do this for you. Or we just even sit down and try to convince God how reasonable, Lord, you want the best for me. So clearly, here are the reasons why this would be the best for me. Actually, I did marriage prep with this couple. One of the questions I always ask our couples is when you were a kid, what was one way you tried to get what you wanted in your family?

Like, what's one way you tried to get your way in your family? Because, you know, how you were as a kid is probably going to how you could probably bring that to your marriage relationship. And there was this one bride. She had this incredible answer. She said, oh, I would write essays. I was like, tell me more. She said, ever since she was like seven or eight years old, if she wanted something, she would write an essay about why she wanted it, what it was, why she wanted it,

and why her parents would be wise to give this thing to her. She said when she was 11 or 12, she wanted a cell phone, and so she sat down and wrote a 10-page typed-out essay on what a cell phone, what cell phones are, the history of cell phones. Why, an 11-year-old should have a cell phone and why her parents would be crazy to not give her this cell phone. And she said, it worked. I laid out a great argument.

I gave her all the reasons. My mom bought me a cell phone. And I was like, okay, this is that. That's not a bad way to deal with your parents, I guess, or deal with your spouse, maybe in the future, honey, here's my letter, hit my list of demands, and here's why you should give me those demands.

But it's a horrible way to come to God. Because it says, just ask. You don't have to command. I mean, here's the thing. We come before God and we say, God, here are all the reasons why you should give me this thing. Listen, if the thing that we're asking for

is the best, he already has a reason. We can say, God, hear all the reasons why you should do this for me. If the thing you're asking for is the best, he already has a reason. And the reason is he already loves you. You don't have to convince him. He already loves you.

And so the cure for convincing is trust. And the answer for editing is honesty, but this cure for convincing is trust. I just need to trust God. In fact, there is this novena that's floating around these days. It's called the surrender novena. And so people, like, you pray a little prayer every day for nine days. And some people have made it a perpetual novena.

Like every day they do the little thing. On day three, it's really beautiful. And it's in the words of Jesus. And it says this, it says, this is Jesus talking. It says, in pain, you pray for me to act, but that I act in the way you want. Ooh, that burns. He says, you did not turn to me.

Instead, you want me to adapt to your idea. You're not sick people who ask the doctor to cure you, but you're rather sick people who tell the doctor how to do it. And how many times that's how we approach God. Rather than just asking, we try to convince him. Again, the answer for editing is honesty, but the cure for convincing is trust. The next thing we do, of course,

we not only edit and not only convince, but I think a lot of times we end up worrying while we wait. I mean, I talk to so many people who would say, well, no, I wouldn't be anxious, I wouldn't be worried, I wouldn't have this desperation if I just knew, like, how it would work out. Yeah, if you knew the future,

there'd be nothing to worry about except for the future. I mean, how many times you get in that place, you're like, no, Lord, I trust you a ton. I just want you to let me know exactly the next, perfect step. Well, it could be the fact that it could be possible that God isn't revealing the next step. He's not revealing how the story is going to end because he wants you to trust him right now. But so often we end up worrying while we wait or worrying while we work.

In fact, you know the story of David, right? King David. When he's a little kid, what happens? This prophet Samuel comes to his father's house, sees all of his brothers, sees David and says, oh, he anoints him to be the next king of Israel. So here's David who knows the future. David knows the prophecy is, you're going to be the next king of Israel. So what happens after this.

What happens after this is the current king, King Saul, he has kind of the first. of a mental breakdown and he wants someone to sing to him and play the liar for him. Well, it happens to be that David is a great singer, plays the liar really well. And here's David in the king's presence, calming the king, soothing the king in the palace. Like, great, we're right on track. Keep going, David. So what happens next is Goliath starts challenging all the people of Israel. David picks up a sling, kills Goliath.

Wow, you're ticking off all the boxes. And then what happens? He goes into live in Saul's home. Wow, you are so close to being the next king. Saul's daughter. And then what happens? Saul has a change of heart, becomes jealous of David,

tries to kill him multiple times, and imagine here's David on the run going, what the heck, Lord? What will I do now? Everything was going according to a plan, and now I have no idea what's going to happen next. You can imagine that David would

just devolve into worrying while he's waiting. In fact, what happens at one point, David is in the city of Zip so the people living there are Ziphytes, and they're his cousins, basically they're from the tribe of Judah. David's hiding among the Ziphytes from King Saul. And at one point, the Ziphytes are like, hey, Saul,

want to let you know a secret. David's hiding among us. Saul comes to try to kill him, and David runs away, escapes, goes back to the Zepites. I don't know why. And they do it a second time. They say, hey, Saul, David's again hiding among us. They betray him not once.

His cousins, his family betray him twice to King Saul. And in the middle of this, in the middle of this, like, desperation, in the middle of this death, in the middle of this crisis, David writes the Psalm for today, which is Psalm 54. In the middle of this crisis,

when he has no idea what's going to happen next, when it would make a lot of sense to just simply worry, David writes this Psalm today. And what does he say? He says, God is present as my helper. Like now, God is here now. I don't know what's going to happen, but God is present as my helper.

The Lord sustains my life. And so he says, therefore, I will offer you a generous sacrifice and praise your gracious name, Lord. David doesn't wait for him to be, himself to be safe, to praise God. What does he do? He decides, he makes the decision, I'm going to thank God while I wait. In fact, another way to say it is, I'm going to thank God ahead of time.

One of the cures for this desperation, this anxiety that drives us so powerfully is, no, I'm going to stop. I'm not going to worry while I'm waiting. I'm going to thank God ahead of time. You guys, I have to tell you this. I've just tried to adopt this practice in my life for the last couple weeks, where there's this stress, this anxiety of like, oh my gosh, is this going to work?

I don't know what's going to happen next. No, Lord, right now, I'm going to, rather than worry while I'm waiting, I'm going to thank you ahead of time. And I have to tell you, it works. I mean, it changes everything. This is the last thing. I imagine at some level you could say, well, that's easy for you to say, and that's easy for, you know, God's word to say this kind of a thing.

But what about God? You know, sometimes we can still be a little ornery with him, a little short with him and say, well, yeah, but what would you do, Lord? Like, what would you do if you're in the midst of this place of desperation and things were not working out for you? And everything was going against you. I like to test you.

You know, the first readings from local wisdom, and that's actually what they say. They say, let's test the just one. That's a prophecy of Jesus. Let's test the just one and see how gentle he really is when things are going against him. Let's test the just one and see how good he really is, how trusting he really is, when his back is against all. And we know how this prophecy ended.

We know that here's Jesus. What did Jesus do in the lowest moment of his life? What did Jesus do in the moment he was most desperate than any other moment in his life? Say the Garden of Githemeni. What did Jesus do? He goes to pray. How does he pray?

He says, Father, let this cup pass from me. He's honest. He doesn't say, oh, this is the best day of my life. I'm fine, Father. He says, I do not want this to happen. What is Jesus like in the time of desperation? He's honest. Then what does he say after that?

He says, yet not my will? Your will be done. He trusts. And then another time in John chapter 11, before he raises Lazarus from the dead, Jesus prays out loud and he says, I give thanks to you. Before the whole things happen,

before Lazarus has risen, he says, I give thanks to you, Father, because you hear me, and I know you always hear me. He thanks God ahead of time. So when Jesus has been in a place of desperation, that inordinate desire, driven by anxiety,

driven by fear, driven by a need for an outcome, what does he do? He's honest, he trusts, and he thanks God ahead of time. So for us, this week, when we run up against that desperation, that thing I absolutely need, this outcome that I can't imagine life unless this outcome comes to pass, the answer for editing is going to be honesty. And the cure for convincing is going to be trust.

And rather than worrying while we wait, we can make the resolution. No, I'm going to thank God ahead of time.