Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 10/20/19 The Hardest Step: The Next Step

Episode Date: October 21, 2019

Homily from the Twenty-ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Often, the next hardest step is the next step. Continuing to walk in the midst of failure, rejection, and imperfection is a sign of a great life. In your life, you will take hundreds of first steps. Mass Readings from October 20, 2019: Ezekiel 17:8-13 Luke 18:1-82 Timothy 3:14-4:2 Mark 10:2-16 Download the Homily Study

So I recently came across the story of a man. His name is Jia Jiang. He was born in Beijing, China not too long ago. And when he was 14 years old, Bill Gates came to Beijing. I actually gave a talk at his school. And he was just captivated, fascinated by Bill Gates and his success, and his charisma, and all that he had done. And so he got home that night and he wrote a letter to his family.

And he described how when he said, by the time I'm 25, I will have founded the largest company in the world, and I will have bought Microsoft. He's a dreamer, right? But then two years later, he got the chance to move to the United States. And so he's like, that's where Bill Gates lives. I'm going to take that opportunity. So he moved to the United States.

And then that's when he's 16. 14 years later, he's 30 years old, and he has not accomplished any of his goals. He did not found a company. He did not have success. He didn't buy Microsoft, just in case you're wondering. In fact, he was living, but he wasn't living the life that he had dreamed. I wasn't living the life that had been planted in his heart when he was 14 years old because he was just afraid. In fact, he describes this.

At 30 years old, he looked at his life. He was a manager at some company. And he's like, I'm doing fine, but I'm not actually living the life that I took this step to come to the United States because I wanted to live a bigger life than I'm living right now. And I'm not living that life. And he realized it at 30 years old, the reason why. The reason why is because he was afraid. And he's not afraid of anything. He understood I'm afraid of rejection.

I'm afraid of trying and failing because someone just rejected. me and so he was like, okay, what do I do with this? And thankfully, Google exists. And so he looked it up, how to overcome the fear of rejection. And he said there's all these ideas like WikiHOW to overcome rejection and fear. You know, inspirational speeches, people saying, just don't care what people think. And none of those things helped them and nothing helped them until he found a website that literally, it's rejection therapy.com, which is started by a man from Canada named James

Comley. And the idea is James Comley had the notion of exposure therapy. So exposure therapy is a psychological principle where if you are afraid of something, you have an inordinate fear of something, a phobia of something, you just gradually expose yourself little by little to a little bit more, a little bit more, and you realize it can't hurt me and you become impervious to it, essentially. And so what James calmly did is you created this game where for 30 days in a row you would seek out rejection, once a day.

And Gia thought, like that's a very. great idea. And so he thought, well, a better idea would be not just 30 days. How about a hundred days of rejection? So he's like, I have a big problem. I need a hundred days of rejection. And not only will he look for a hundred days of rejection, he thought he would film the whole thing and create a blog about his hundred days full of rejection. So the first day he describes, the first day's challenge of being rejected was to ask a stranger for $100. So he's like, okay. He goes down in the office he lived, he went down to the lobby, and he saw this man sitting behind a desk and thought maybe he was a

security guard or something, he didn't know, but he was intimidating and big, and he's like, I'm going to ask that guy to borrow $100. And he describes walking across the lobby, filming himself this whole time, mind you, walking across the lobby, and he's like, I was sweating like the hair in the back of my neck was standing up, and I walked up with this man and I said, excuse me, sir, could I please have $100? And the man looks up and he's kind of surprised. He's like, no. And then he pauses and he says, why?

But Gia was like not even waiting. He's like, you answer his no. Okay, I'm sorry. I bother you by. And he runs away. He literally ran across the lobby. That night he went home and he watched the tape and he realized, I'm alive. That he had placed himself in this place where he was rejected.

He had asked for $100. The guy said no. And he's like, and I survived. But he looked at the tape and he said, I was so scared. I didn't need to be afraid because he had taken that first step and he survived. We talked about last week about the hardest step. And so often in our lives, the hardest step to take is that first step. The hardest step to take is like, okay, I know I need to do the thing or I know I want to do the thing,

so I'm going to step out and do the thing. Actually, that first step can be so tough. And I do believe that that first step is often the hardest step, but so often the next hardest step is the next step. I think about all of us here, we've taken so many first steps, even just coming here, coming to Duluth, like starting school. at some point it's like you've got to have the courage you just I'm just going to take the step I'm going to move to the Luth I'm going to take the step I'm going to get that job maybe it's even like when you start a friendship you know you don't know where it's going to go you don't know if the person's going to be crazy or maybe they'll find out that you're crazy like you just take that first step and you're like okay have a friendship now maybe it's even like coming to mass tonight maybe it's like maybe you didn't grow up going to mass and you're

or maybe you did but you stopped coming and you decided I'm going to start doing that again and you took that first step or maybe someone invited you to pray and you started praying. You took that first step. So once you got to go to confession, so you went to confession, took that first step. That's so good. But then so often what happens is, you know, we come to come to college. Here we are mid-semester, and it's like, man, I'm so far behind. I'm not, I'm not going to catch up. I took that first step and I am failing. Like, if I don't get this grade, I'm going to lose a scholarship. I don't know what's going to happen after that, happened after that and you just have that fear of like I think it's over or maybe that friendship that started out so good and all of a sudden it's like wow this is a lot of work like I just

discovered they are an imperfect person or worse they discovered you are an imperfect person and it's like it's not as it's not as easy as it was right away or maybe even like when it comes to the Lord like yeah father I went to convention I took that first step and now I'm back to the same old sins like and here's the thing sometimes in that moment we're like you know I tried I did the thing I took the first step and it just hasn't worked out how I hoped it would be. Like I took that first step and it hasn't turned out how I thought it would. And the biggest, I think that one was the biggest obstacle we experienced after taking that first step when we fail. After that first step and we get rejected after that first step and it's like it hasn't worked out like I wanted it to be.

I've tried and I've fallen. Is this discouragement that comes against us because, you know, when it takes the first step, you have to ask the question, what does it matter? You're going to go to college? I don't know. What does it matter? And then you're like, hey, you have a reason, so you do it. Right? You have the motivation. You have a motive. Or when it comes to that friendship, like whether this person is your friend or not, what does it matter? But you have a reason to take that first step.

But after you take that first step and you get rejected, or after you take that first step and you fall or you fail, you have, there's a more painful question than what does it matter? And the more painful question is, what does it matter now? Because I tried. And it's basically, it feels like it's over. So what does it matter now? What do we do when we've tried and we failed? You know, you know the percentage of, out of the 100% of people who made a New Year's resolution for 2018, they did a survey, did a study on this.

Do you know the percentage of people who actually accomplished their goal, the resolution for 2018? Out of the 100% of people who set out with their New Year's resolution in 2018, by the end of 2018, By the beginning of 2019, only 8% of the people who started out had that first step. January 1, go. By December 31st, everyone at 7% at 7% had stopped. That's 92% of the people. They took the first step and they couldn't, for whatever reason, couldn't or wouldn't. They didn't take the next step.

Last week, I mentioned a guy named John Acuff. He is an author. He was the guy who had quoted Stephen Covey, and Stephen Covey says, begin with the end in mind and John Akoff said yes but you don't have to begin with the end stone you don't have to know how the story is going to end to start so so John Akoff he not only has written a bunch of books but also at one point few years ago he wrote a a goal accomplishing a program program basically a 30 days to accomplish your goals and he sold it on the internet and like thousands of people bought this 30 days to accomplish your goals so the kind of people who

buy a goal accomplishing program on the internet are people who are driven right they're the kind of people who would take first steps they're the kind of people who have goals and they want to achieve their goals and they'll give you their money so you can help them achieve their goals. So John Acuff sold thousands of these achieve your goals in 30 days. Programs. He's a friend of his who is more analytical and he said, hey John, how many people actually finished, how many people actually accomplish their goals? And John's like, I don't know.

I said, that'd be a good thing to know if people like, does it actually work? So he said, well, you can have my data, you can have my analytics and you can see how many people actually accomplish their goals. And so he handed this data over to his friend and his friend made this data. a pretty remarkable discovery that out of all the people who paid money to buy this 30 days to accomplish our goals, very, very few of them actually completed it by day 30. In fact, most of them dropped out. And the remarkable thing was when they dropped out. Because you think, okay, in a 30-day program, if you were going to give up, like, when would you

give up? If you took that first step, okay, day one, here we go, let's move forward. When would you stop taking the next step? Would it be like the third week where you have one last week? I'm not going to make it. Maybe like the middle after that second week. week where it's kind of like the messy middle and the excitement of the beginning is kind of faded away, but you're not close enough to the end. Like when would the most people quit? Actually, there was one day that most people refused to take the next step. Most people dropped out of this 30 days to accomplish your goals on the exact same day,

and that was day two. And it was day two because this, because day one wasn't perfect. They had great plans, they had great goals. They had a lot of drive. They had a lot of initiative. They had a lot of motivation. And they got through day one and they realized I didn't do all the exercises perfectly. And so why even do day two?

Because if day one wasn't perfect, how in the world will I ever get where I want to get by day 30? And he asked the question, what do you do the day after imperfect? What do you do the day after you get rejected? What do you do the day after you fall? You know, I have a friend, Father Ben, Father Ben always says, the hardest day to pray is the day after the day you fail to pray. Like the hardest day to read your Bible is the day after the day you fail to read your Bible because I was going strong

I read by Bible every day this week and then Saturday came and it's a weird schedule and so I just did and then Sunday came and I didn't and Monday and I just don't even know what to do now. But again this is nothing new. That needing to take the next step is nothing new. In fact in the scripture, I don't know if you noticed this

but every single reading we heard tonight talks about the need to take the next step. St. Paul was writing to Timothy in the second reading today. It's 2 Timothy chapter 3. And we didn't hear this part because this is right before the part we heard. But St. Paul is writing to Timothy, and he says, Timothy, here's the deal. He says, you have followed my teaching.

You followed my way of life. You followed my purpose, my faith, my patience, love and endurance. And you followed my persecutions and sufferings. But I need you to know this. All who want to live religiously in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Therefore, and that's what we heard today. Therefore, remain faithful. that Paul's looking at Timothy and is like

Timothy I know what you're up against Timothy I know you started out so strong he was a Christian from when he was a kid and now I get it Timothy you took that first step but now you run into an obstacle and what you need to do is you need to take the next step Timothy you don't just need to be faithful you need to remain faithful you don't just need to start walking

you need to keep walking and I know it's going to be hard but here's what happens when you keep walking he goes on to say this remain faithful to what you've learned and believed he goes on he says because you know from whom you learned it and that from when you were a kid from infancy first steps

you've known the sacred scriptures that are useful for teaching, reputation, correction, and training for righteousness so that the one who belongs to God may be competent and equipped for every good work. What St. Paul's writing to Timothy is saying this, Timothy, if you remain faithful, if you keep walking, if you take the next step, what's going to happen is

something's going to happen inside of you that can't happen unless you get up. You're going to become competent and equipped for every good work. And that thing, that becoming competent and equipped it actually is something that can't happen unless you fail and get back up again. It can't happen unless you remain faithful. Actually, it can't even happen unless you run into obstacles earlier. And St. Paul said to the Romans chapter 8, he says the exact same thing.

He says, we know we boast in our afflictions. Basically, we boast in all the things that are coming against us. Because we know affliction produces endurance. Here's St. Paul saying, we know we boast of our rejections. Because we keep getting up. And that getting up does something to us. produces endurance. We boast of how many times we fall down

because every time we fall down, we keep getting up. And that keep getting up produces endurance. We boast of how often we fail because when we fail, we get back up, and that getting back up produces endurance. Here's an endurance produces. It says, an endurance produces proven character. You guys, you will take hundreds of first steps in your life.

That would be a good life. But if you take thousands of next steps in your life, that would be a great life. thousands of steps that you take after you've fallen, thousands of steps you've taken after you've failed. Because what does it do? Affliction produces endurance, and endurance produces proven character.

That proven character, when you get up, when you take that next step, something is forged inside of you that cannot be forged without failure. Something is forged inside of you that can't be forged unless you've fallen. And he goes on, he says, so afflictions produce endurance,

and endurance produces character, and proven character produces hope. And you guys, especially if you fall down and you get to the place where you're like, what's the use now? That's the moment when you need hope. Because the question of a hopeless person is, what's the use now? Like, I tried and I failed. I made an effort and it's done.

But when you know, listen, I know what it's like to fall down, I can get back up. I know it's like to fail. I get back up. I know it's like to be rejected. I just ask again. There's one of the reasons why you guys, oh my gosh, it's so good. Jesus says, in the gospel, he says, it says, the very beginning, St. Luke says, Jesus began to teach his disciples about the necessity of praying always and not losing heart.

How necessary it is to take the next step in prayer, to keep taking the next step in prayer, and to not lose heart, to not lose hope. Because in this world, where there's so much failure and so much rejection and so much falling, it's so easy to lose hope. In our lives, it's so easy to lose hope. Take that first step, and the answer is no. We take that first step and I'm like, no, I tried. I failed.

But what if, what if after that happened, you take the next step to back to Gia Jang? Day 1 was asking a guy for $100. And he ran away. And he said he watched the tape that night. And he was like, what the heck? Why did I run away?

He said, the guy even asked me why I wanted $100. He was actually willing to negotiate with me. And when I just took off, he said, the next day, I'm not going to run away. The next day, I'm going to take the next step. The next day, I'm going to take one step. and I'm not going to run. I'm going to remain steady. I'm going to remain faithful. And so his Dexteat challenge was to go into a burger restaurant. And he ordered a hamburger. He sat down, he ate it, and he brought the wrapper back to the

counter and he asked for a burger refill. And the guy behind the counter said, what's a burger refill? And he says, it's like a drink refill. I finished my burger. I'd like another one, please. And the guy says, we don't do burger refills. And this is where Gia would normally run away. But he's like, I'm not going to run away. I'm going to stay here. I'm taking the next step. And he said, well, let me tell you, your burgers are amazing. And I think you would have an incredible business if you offered burger refills at least one day a week or something like this. And the guy was like, well, I can talk to my manager, I guess. And so he walks away and he's like, I survived. Not only that, I stayed my, stood my ground. I remained steady there.

And I, day three, let's do day three. Day three, he went to Krispy Cream. And he went up to the counter and he asked the lady behind the counter if she could make him a giant donut in the shape of the Olympic rings. You know, like the three on top, two in the bottom, different colors. And this woman looked at him, you want a donut in the shape of the same. of Olympic rings. He says, yes, please. And he says, she says, well, I think I can do that. And so she gets out a piece of paper and it's a pen, she starts drawing the Olympic rings.

This one's yellow, this is green, this one's. And he said, 15 minutes later, she comes up from the back with this big box or the giant donut in the shape of the Olympic rings. And he's like, who would believe that that would happen? And that started this whole thing of like, not just taking the next step, but being willing to stand my ground, to remain faithful and take the next step.

He did other things. One last one. He brought a flower to this man's house, I was dragging his doorbell and asked if he could plant the flower in the man's backyard. And the man said, no. So Gia said, why? Why not?

And the man said, well, actually, I'd love to have a flower in my backyard, but I have this dog, and I know my dog is going to dig up the flower and destroy your flower. I don't want him to destroy your flower. He was actually a nice reason. And so Gia said, well, do you know anyone who would like me to plant a flower in the backyard?

And he says, actually, yeah, Connie's right across the street. My neighbor, she loves flowers. You should ask her. And so he walked across the street, rang her doorbell. She was so excited. She not only told him exactly where to plant the flour, she gave him the tools, and it was an incredible thing, because why?

He took that first step, and then when there was rejection or failure, he didn't run away, because rejection didn't kill him. Failure wasn't final. He's able to take that next step. This is the last thing. Now, he did that all by himself. But there's a story in the first reading in the book of Exodus.

It's a story of the Israelites, and they're being attacked by the Amalekites. If you know anything about the Israelites, at this point, they've spent their entire lives, generations upon generations being slaves. They are not soldiers. They are not people. They don't belong in a fight.

They don't belong in a battle. And the Amalekites are actually a bunch of a whole army full of soldiers. These are just, the Israelites are just people who have nothing. They have very little weapons. They have no training. They have no chance.

But they have one thing the Amalekites don't have. They have the Lord. And they have Moses. So you heard the story just a second ago, right? The Amalekites and the Israelites began fighting each other.

And Moses went on a hill above them and as often as Moses lifted up his hands, praying for the Israelites, the Israelites had the better of the battle. but Moses became tired, right? He had that first step. I can pray and we can win, but then he got tired, he got weary,

and his arms began to droop. And the Amalekites had to better up the flight. So what happened? Well, that's when the author says, but Moses wasn't alone. Because next to Moses was his brother, Aaron, and his friend, her. And when Moses was unable to move forward,

when Moses was so weary that his arms began to drop, to droop, it says that Aaron, his brother and her, his friend, raised his arms so they would remain steady. They raised his arms so he could remain steadfast. You know, when it comes to taking the first step, it's often really exciting to take it by yourself, but when it comes to taking the next step, it's really difficult to take it by yourself. Question, who's next to you?

Like, who's holding up your arms when you grow weary? Who is there who helps you up when you've fallen? Who is there? Who, when you've failed and been rejected, they help me take that next step. Another question, whose arms are you holding up? Whose arms do you hold steady when they're weary? Who do you help when they've been rejected?

They've tried, they've taken that first step, and it's time for them. You know what you can tell. You love and you care about them. It's time for them to take the next step. Who is it that you're doing that for? Because all of life is full of hard steps. And that first step is the hard.

hardest step and the next hardest step is the next step. But if you and I want to have not just a life but have a great life, then we not only need to be willing to take the first step, we need to be able to keep taking that next step. And that means we need people who help us when we're weary. That means we need to be the kind of people who help others when they're weary. That means that only, only together can we remain steady and take that next step.