Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 10/27/19 CompariSIN: The Way of Comparison

Episode Date: October 27, 2019

Homily from the Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time. In a life of comparison, every person is a potential threat. Comparison is the desire to be “more” than another. At the heart of that desire is fear. Vulnerability breaks through that fear.Mass Readings from Mass Readings from October 27, 2019:</ Sirach 35:12-14, 16-18 Psalms 34:2-3, 17-18, 19, 232 Timothy 4:6-8, 16-18 Luke 18:9-14 Download the Homily Study

So I recently started reading a little bit more about Teddy Roosevelt, right? So former president, that's the Teddy Roosevelt I'm talking about. It's just like, this guy had an incredible life. If you've ever read anything or studied anything about Teddy Roosevelt and his life, he started out his life. He was, as a kid, by all accounts, he was a really sick kid. He was a really weak kid. He was a really scared kid.

He was just afraid of everything. And he talks about this. He's like, I was scared of my own shadow that I would not do. And also, he was incapable of doing almost anything physical. And so as like an elementary school-age kid, he just decided, I don't want to live like this. Like, I found me, I'm weak and I don't want to be weak anymore. So if I'm going to train my body. And so he started doing this, he's like, I'm sick.

I don't want to be sick anymore. So if something like people say, well, that's going to make you sick, I'm just going to do it anyways. See how bad good it be? Anyways. He said, I'm afraid and I don't want to be afraid anymore. So if something scared him, he decided then I'm going to do that thing. And because he just lived this life like this, he just ended up living this incredible, incredible life. Not only his body, right, he also trained his mind.

Legend is, the story is, that he would read a book a day before breakfast and then three books throughout the rest of the day, even while he was president of the United States. He, a couple things. That just blows my mind. I'm like, what kind of books? Like comic books? Because I can do that. I can do that for sure.

I've done that. But as he became a man, he joined the military. And one of the things he did, he was part of the Rough Riders, right? So in Cuba, he led the charge in the Battle of San Juan. he'll, like basically, almost single-handedly, turning the tide of the entire war. He was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor after he died.

Like, no one gets that. Imagine the awarding a president of the United States, the Congressional Medal of Honor. That's the kind of bravery this man had. He did more to establish national parks in our country, to preserve land so we could have the parks. At one point, there's one story about him, that he went to a rally in Milwaukee, and he got shot,

which makes sense to all of us who know about the danger of Milwaukee. He's bought to give his... You know, Wisconsinites, you guys, you can't... You can't trust him. Roosevelt knew that. He went up to give a speech. He gets shot on his way to give the speech.

It penetrated the copy of the speech and lodged into his ribs. He gave the speech 90 minutes with his bullet lodged in his rib cage. When he got done, he said, okay, now you can take me to the hospital. And he actually ended up living with that bullet in his rib cage until the... day he died years and years and years later. All these accomplishments, he was the

youngest person ever, even including up to today, ever sworn into office, 42 years old when he became the President of the United States. So one of these things, he was, sorry, last one, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. So you know when you hear all these things, this incredible life, this incredible human being, one of the things almost always comes up is like, well, yeah, he has to be the best then, right? I don't know if you ever talk about like your favorites, like when it comes to like presidents, like, well, yeah, clearly Roosevelt was the best. Or no, no, no, no, Lincoln was the best. No, Washington was the best. You have all these people that at some point we want to, no matter what they did,

we want to kind of rank them. And they'd realize that we could rank them and it doesn't take anything away from them. But once you start ranking, it actually starts stealing. What I mean by that is, see, Roosevelt knew this. Like, he knew that no matter what he did, there was always a potential thief. That no matter what he did, no matter what he accomplished, no matter what he did with his life, whether going from a sickly child to a strong man, from someone who didn't know much, to someone who was incredibly intelligent, to someone who was afraid of stuff, to someone who was unafraid of things. No matter what he did, there was always going to be a thief that was looking around the corner,

and that thief could steal every ounce of joy from his accomplishments from his life. That thief could rob him of the pleasure that he took in actually living a really great life. And that thief is the same thief that every single one of us, we face every single day. Roosevelt said it like this. He named it. He said that thief is comparison. Roosevelt said, he said, comparison is the thief of joy. Because you can think about someone like him

who could do all these incredible things, but then someone starts to compare, or even he starts to compare, and all those things that he did that were excellent, all of a sudden become less excellent because comparison ends up being the thief of joy. This is true for us as Christians, too. as followers of Christ. You know, Jesus has so many promises that we get as his disciples. He promises

peace and he promises gentleness. He promises that we get patience. He promises that we grow in humility. One of the things Jesus promises is that he actually promises us joy. And so here's the big question is, wait a second, if Jesus promises us joy, why are so few of us filled with joy? I don't know if you ever thought about that. Jesus promises his disciples that you'll have my joy in you. it will be complete. If Jesus promises that, why do so few of us actually experience an abundance of joy? Because there's things that steal joy.

Things like sin, obviously, anxiety stills joy, a living off-purpose stills joy. But I think that almost nothing steals joy more than what Teddy Roosevelt described. I think it's absolutely impossible to live a life of joy if we allow comparison into our hearts. And this actually is eaten the gospel today. I don't know if he caught this.

the two people go up to pray, the Pharisees, the tax collector, and what is the Pharisees' entire prayer based off of? It's completely based off of comparison. And this is why this is so serious, because not only is comparison the thief of joy, what does Jesus say about the one who prayed based off of comparison? He didn't just lose joy. Jesus said, one went home justified, the other went home not justified, which means that actually the price of comparison is not merely losing joy. It could even mean losing your soul. And so the whole, what we're going to do is we're going to start a new series today. Because I think this is so serious, and I think this is in so many of our hearts, this

spirit of comparison. That's what we're launching today for the next four weeks. We're going to talk about this. But it's not going to be just like comparison, compare a S-O-N. We're clever here. So it's comparison. Get it? I came up with that on my own.

So many months ago, you guys, I was so excited. I'm like, I wrote it down five times. I'm like, this is the best. I'm so clever. So the series on comparison, because it doesn't just rob us of joy. It robs us, a kid rob us of our very lives. So what is comparison? Well, here's a quick thing.

It can be tricky sometimes to define comparison because some of us act as if avoiding comparison would be the same thing as avoiding greatness. That some of us are like actually the only reason I'm at the place I'm at right now in my life. Like I've accomplished great things is because of comparison because I don't know if you know this about me, Father, but I'm kind of a competitive person. I don't know if you know this about me. I'm her competitive person. But I'm saying giving up comparison is not the same thing as giving up a desire for greatness.

That's not the same thing at all. And comparison also, I'm not saying that all comparisons are bad. That's coming up in about three weeks. There are some comparisons that are very, very good for us. In fact, some of you know the developmental psychologist Eric Erickson. Eric Erickson had this theory that we can actually only only know ourselves by comparing ourselves to the people around us. We can actually only know ourselves by being in relationship to the people around us where we meet people like, oh, yeah, I'm kind of like that.

I can see something in you that's in myself. Or I'm not like you. I can see something in you that I don't share. And we actually come to a degree of self-knowledge. We come to understand who we are by healthy comparison. We find out where we're standing. Think about like a map, right? You can only find your place on a map by comparing the map to your surroundings.

So, again, not all comparisons are bad. We can find ourselves in relationship. But this is the thing, is the cost of community, that cost of relationship, the cost of community always runs the risk of comparison. That if we're going to be in community, if we're going to be in relationship, it always runs the risk of comparison. Say, okay, so what is comparison? Here's the thing. What is comparison? My pal C.S. Lewis says it like this.

When he's talking about pride, but it's the same thing. Lewis says pride or comparison is not taking joy, not taking pleasure in being smart. Sometimes people think that's what pride is. That's what, you know, comparison is like just taking joy in being smart, taking pride in being beautiful. Lewis says pride or comparison is not taking joy in being funny. It's not taking joy in being loved by people. That's all good. And those are all good things to be smart, to be beautiful, to be funny, to be loved.

Those are all good things. But none of those things are pride. He says, pride is taking joy in being smarter than someone else. Like, I'm not just happy because I'm smart. I'm happy because I'm smarter than you. It's taking joy in being funnier than someone else. It's taking joy and being more beautiful than someone else. It's taking joy in being more loved than someone else.

Lewis says, he says pride or comparison is essentially competitive. And so we recognize that. comparison will always have at the very heart of it is going to be fear. At the heart of this bad kind of comparison is always going to be fear. And it's the fear that I might find someone who has more of this than I do. I might find someone who is more of this than I am. And that fear is, your more automatically means my less. But imagine this.

To live with that, to live like that means that, means that every person I meet is a potential threat. We let that comparison to live inside of us. We allow it to take up residence. That means that every single person we meet is a potential threat. Because you might actually be funnier than I am. You might be more beautiful than I am. You might be more of whatever it is I want to be.

Whatever it is, I see myself as being. And every single person is a potential threat. But it gets even worse than that. Because it's not just about like, actually, if we realize, not everyone is a potential threat. Now, but obviously we have, like, media and we have social media. And there's some comparison things that happen, like where you go, you know, scroll through Instagram.

You're like, well, I don't do that. I don't do that. And you just jumped off a building, and that was amazing. And you flew away on a little sky suit, wingsuit. You've ever seen those? It's amazing, you guys. But it's not bad. It's not necessarily comparing ourselves to celebrities.

Guys, my guess is, men, gentlemen, my guess is you don't wake up and go like, oh man, Ryan Reynolds is so handsome. I hate that guy. Like we don't, we don't necessarily compare ourselves to people, or ladies, you're probably not like, oh, Scarlett Johansson, I hate her stinking hair, I wish you went bald. Like, you're not, we typically don't compare ourselves to those who are far away from us, maybe a little bit.

Most often, though, we compare ourselves to those who are closest to us. Like the kind of comparison that we fall into that, like, can destroy our hearts and, like, ring our hearts are not those people who are far away. They're the ones who are closest. In fact, they can be the ones who are most like us. I'd even say it like this. I think sometimes the people we compare ourselves the hardest against are those people that if comparison wasn't there, they might be our best friends. So why does that live in us?

And what do you do with it? And here's the thing is the reason why we're going to do a whole series on it is because I just keep seeing it again and again. I keep seeing it with so many people. And it doesn't matter because it keeps cropping up. It might be like, well, I'm smart, you know. Well, yeah, but now I'm in med school and now everyone's smart. Well, I worked really, really hard. well, now I'm in my job and everyone works really, really hard.

And, like, I thought that I was the big, the king on campus back home in high school, but now, oh my gosh, like everyone here has this. So what do I do with that? In fact, I would even say it, like, it happens not just in relationships, doesn't just happen with school and work. It happens in church. And I've seen it too many times. I've seen it for people who are like, I sometimes kind of go to Sunday Mass,

but I've never been over to the Newman House because that seems like, I don't know, they just seem like, I don't know, they're just holier than I am. And so that I end up resenting those people who go to Daily Mass. And you invite me to go to Daily Mass, but I feel bad about myself because I don't want to go to Daily Mass. And it's snowballs because this comparison thing I go down. Or even like this happens, it's crazy, you guys. There are people who go to Daily Mass, who go to Daily Mass and lead a Bible study. Oh, I'm not doing what they're doing.

Hate that guy. People who go to Daily Mass and lead a Bible study who compare themselves against people who go to Daily Mass and lead to Bible study and are on the leadership team here. Like, it's like, oh my gosh, you guys, stop being buttheads. Honestly, that comes up in my, you guys, oh my gosh, it's been so many years. I've been reflecting on this. I see it again and again. And whenever I see it, and someone's like, well, I just hate because someone else is better than me. I'm like, just stop being a butt head.

That is what comes up. And then I kept coming up like every single time I saw it. And then something happened a couple weeks ago. Because as I said, I've been working on this, reflecting on this and like saying like, no, I am so free from comparison. It's ridiculous. You guys, you have no idea how much I don't care what you think. I'm just kidding.

A couple weeks ago, I had to go out of town. And so one of our missionaries has a priest who's a friend who's a priest who came to fill in for me. And I met his name's Father Zach, awesome guy. When I met him, I'm just like, you seem like an awesome guy. And he turned out he was an awesome guy. Like he just seemed like not only a stellar human being, a really good man, also seemed like, I think you're a really good priest. Turns out he, not only stellar human being, really good man, awesome human being, awesome priest.

And of course, people like when he showed up, he's like 6'4 and like, wow, Father, he's way taller than you. I'm like, listen, I'm over that. That is no longer a wound you can hurt me with. I stop growing at 17. I'm shrinking now. I am fine. I fit okay into airplane seats.

Poor Father Zach with his 6'4 frame will never be comfortable on an airplane, like I will always be comfortable on an airplane. So I'm fine with that. It doesn't hurt me at all. That's not the comparison. Father Jack grows an awesome beard. Listen, I'm working on it. All these things.

And I was so grateful. I left, and he took care of things. It was awesome. I was so grateful for him. And then I came back to town. And some people were like, oh, my gosh, Father, it was incredible to have Father Zach here. He just brought us so much healing. And I felt a little, oh.

Yeah, and he just gave us, he was so wise, gave us so much wisdom. Like, mm. And he just loved us really, really well. Like, okay. enough. And I realized, oh my gosh, I'm the butthead. The butthead is in me. Because it wasn't something I wanted. I was like, no, I like this guy. I want to rejoice in him. But there's something like, but you're telling me that, wait, he brought you more healing than I was able to bring. He was wiser than I was able to offer. Like, you don't understand. I read books too. Not just

comic books. That was a joke earlier. Yes, he loves you. But you guys don't understand. I love you so much. But it's, but it's, it's absolutely. It's absolutely. true and I was like, oh my gosh, this is in me. I have this comparison, but it's unchosen comparison. And my first response is, I don't know if you've ever experienced this, reverse reflex. When you have that pain of comparison, you're like, I don't want this. Sometimes what we end up doing, you end up accusing ourselves. We end up like kind of ganging up on ourselves and saying to stop it, you know, shove it down, shove it down, suppress it. That doesn't work. So please don't do that. When you have unchosen comparison, here's what you can do.

And we're not about choosing comparison in a just second, but when you have unchosenable, comparison. Here's what you can do. Number one, be patient. Like, just be patient with yourself. Like, give yourself grace. No, I could argue with myself and say, Father Mike, you shouldn't be feeling this. Like, but maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. I do. You can know yourself, don't feel this way. Maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't. The reality is you do. So be patient with yourself. Give yourself grace and say, that's what I've found in my heart because it's nothing new. I mean, oh my gosh, you guys, go back to the book of Genesis. Book of Genesis chapter 4.

The fourth chapter of the very first book, the entire Bible, you have the story, right, of the two sons of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel. What is the second sin in all of Christ? The first sin is Adam and Eve, right? They doubt, they distrust the father's love for them, so they eat the fruit. The very next sin, and the entire Bible is Abel's sacrifice is accepted from God, and Cain's sacrifice is not accepted from God,

and so what does Cain do? he ends up resenting his brother. He ends up comparing his self. He ends up comparing the love God has for him and the love God has for his brother. See, if you find that inside yourself, it doesn't do any good to beat yourself up. It's just like, okay, Lord, I'll be patient with myself.

This is here. It's so important, here's what not to do. As I already said, don't do the suppressed thing where you just pretend that it's not there. That will lead you to an explosion later on. Or actually it'll lead you to a certain kind of bitterness that you'll rarely, rarely be able to escape. You just suppress that.

The next thing is, here's what I would do. My temptation, I just let you know. My temptation is to say, okay, let's see who wins. I mentioned competitive. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to fight that. My temptation is to say, okay, let's see. Let's see who can be the wisest.

Let's see you can love. I'll love you so hard. I love you so well. I love you until I die. Like that whole sense of like, but here's the thing. I might be competitive and realize, okay, actually upon,

taking a closer look at this, I'm losing even worse than I thought. They are actually even better than me than I imagined. What would I do then? Or maybe you try and you actually win. You see I'm going to be better than them. But then what? Every person still remains a potential threat. Or we could take the road of Kane. Here's what Kane does. It says in Genesis chapter 4, God speaks to Kane and he says, He says, Kane greatly resented his brother, and he was crestfallen. So the Lord said to Kane, why are you so resentful and crestfallen?

If you do well, you can hold your head up. But if not, sin is a demon lurking at your door. His urges toward you, yet you can be as master. So the route of Kane looks like this. It looks like what a lot of us live. We experience that comparison. It just hurts. So the next step is aversion or like avoidance.

Maybe you've done this before. There was someone that you compared to yourself. to it and you came up short, and so instead of like engaging them, you just stayed away from them. Maybe they're a roommate, maybe it's someone in your class, and you just like stop looking at them, stop making eye contact, just kind of avoided them. We ever have this situation where you were friends with one person and you're friends with another person and you introduced the two of them and all of a sudden they became better friends

with each other than they are with you? We end up realizing, wait a second, I'm on the outside of this. And so that comparison is I'm going to avoid. But then avoidance or aversion leads to this next thing. leads to this next thing, which is resentment. And resentment is just the craziest thing. Resentment is blaming, here's what resentment is. It's so silly, it's so foolish.

Resentment is blaming someone for being themselves. Here's the person who works really hard and does really well. And you're mad at them because they worked hard and did really well. See, none of us want to be that resentful person, right? Like, would it make you, this is the crazy, you can ask yourself, would it make me happier if they weren't as smart? No. Here's someone who is so good and they're so kind, and they actually do have really good advice,

and they have such a big heart, and people go to them because they know that they listen. Do we actually want them to be less of a listener? Do I really want them to be less kind? Do I really want them? I resent this person because they're praying all the time, and I feel bad because I don't pray all the time. Honestly, do you want them to actually pray less? Would that make you happy? This person serves so much, and I feel badly because I don't serve as much as they do.

Okay, honestly, answer this question. would you be happy if they served less? I know this about your, you, the answer is no. You don't want them to be less. Because you realize that's foolishness when it comes to resentment. I'm blaming them for being themselves. It would not make me happy if their candle just shined a little less brightly. That avoidance leads to resentment, and that resentment we see in Genesis chapter 4,

it leads to hatred, it leads to ultimately to murder. But before murder, it leads to this thing called isolation. Because that's what comparison leads. If you've ever been the one who resented, if you've ever been the one who compared, you know that, like, oh my gosh, this person's getting pushed further and further away. But if you ever been the one who's been compared with,

you realize it's such a lonely life. Nobody wins. It's one of the reasons why comparison doesn't just cost joy, it costs our soul, because nobody wins. Remember, the cost of community is the risk of comparison. And the result of comparison is the loss of community. I was trying to debate if I was going to share this.

I'm just going to try it. So you might not know this. Gosh, it sounds weird. I say it like this. So I get a chance a lot of times to get invited out of the city of Duluth and to go different places to give talks and stuff, right? To all summer that's what I do.

I go to different conferences and during the school year sometimes too. When I go to some of these places, there's oftentimes a lot of other priests around. And it's just really sounds silly, but it's really painful for me. Because, okay, I'm sorry, I... Sorry, I realize what I'm sounding like.

I'm starting like, you guys, people love me so much, it's so embarrassing. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I go to these places, and I feel so alone because I'm looking to all these other priests, and I'm seeing them look at me, and I'm wondering, do they hate me? Because people are paying attention to me.

Within our diocese, you know, everyone, not everyone, the number of priests were like, Father Mike, I was out in, you know, wherever, and someone was like, oh, you're from Duluth. You know, I'm like Father Mike Schmets. And I'm always waiting for them to be like, yes, we know him. He's not that great. And it's not saying feel sorry for myself. I'm just, it's just isolate.

It's just really easy to feel alone in the midst of comparison because that's what happens. It doesn't just isolate when I'm the one comparing. I don't just isolate myself. What happens is I'm taking this person who's just trying to do what they're trying to do. I'm making it so they have no one. So one of the coolest things, as coolest things, is in our diocese, whenever the priests say that, like, oh, it's just in the Mississippi or is just in wherever. And they were like, hey, do you know Father McSchmidt? And they're like, yes.

And they're like, oh, my gosh, I love his videos or like his podcasts, all this kind of stuff. All my brothers, all the other priests, every time they say to me, they said to me, yeah, I told him, yeah, we're so proud of him. Like, we're so proud that he's from our diocese. and I can't tell you like what that does to my heart because my temptation is to be feel so alone but when someone is willing to be vulnerable and say

yeah he's one of ours when someone's willing to be vulnerable and like actually reach out and say yeah we're proud of him when someone's willing to be vulnerable and say yeah he does do good job when it comes to X, Y or Z that's the remedy

this is the last thing this is the remedy for comparison. It's the remedy for resentment. It's the remedy for aversion. It's a remedy for hatred. It's a remedy for isolation. What is it? Vulnerability. That willingness to actually step out of yourself and make yourself vulnerable.

To affirm the person who you are jealous of, to build up the person that you see as a threat. To step into the life and say, actually, the life of someone else and say, I claim you. I will actually, you're not alone. The cost of community is the risk of comparison. And the result of comparison is isolation. But the remedy for that isolation is vulnerability.

And real vulnerability creates authentic community. All of us have this comparison, this spirit of comparison in our hearts. And probably we can name some people that we've compared ourselves to in the last 24 hours. And they're probably really close to us right now. But to kill that comparison, I just invite us to take the next step, to be patient with ourselves to refuse resentment and to answer that temptation to isolation with vulnerability. Hi, this is Father Mike. I just wanted to make a quick little note at the end of this homily.

I hope that this is a series that will really bless your life. I've been praying about this, as I mentioned, during the homily for a long time, not only for us as individuals and for our community here on campus, but also for the greater Catholic community, the greater podcast community. And I just want to reach out and say thank you. It was kind of weird at the end of there where I was like, okay, sometimes I go to where places where people know me or whatever. It's so interesting to say that to our students because for the most part, they have no idea that if I go somewhere, some people might know me.

To them, I'm just their campus chaplain, I'm just their priest, which is a real gift. But it is a gift to be able to basically come into your life at least once a week on these podcasts. And I am incredibly grateful because I realize that this isn't about me. In fact, my mom, whenever I'm going to give a talk or go to help out in some way that involves me speaking. And I told her, I'm nervous. She always like, she always says, well, remember who the real star is. You know, like, yes, mom, I get it. It's not about me. It's always about Jesus. It's about the people that I'm getting, I get to talk to, the people I get to meet. And that's you. So I'm really grateful. Again, I know it's not about me. It is about the Lord.

about his church and it is about you. So thank you so much for reaching out and letting me know that these podcasts encourage you, that they help you. Thank you also for letting me know that you are praying specifically for me, you know, for my holiness, for my saying yes to the Lord. It's nothing more I want than that. And also for no, there's so many people who reach out and tell me that they're praying for us here on campus.

They're praying for this mission and this ministry. And I'm really grateful for that. I don't mean to overextend myself. but if I could ask for a favor, if you wouldn't mind, this upcoming November 14th, it's a Thursday, November 14th, Thursday, 2019, we have our annual give to the max day. It's the one day of year that we ask those who have been helped by this ministry, or even those who, maybe you haven't been helped by it, but you believe in it, to prayerfully consider not only praying for us, interceding our behalf, but also financially supporting us.

If you are inclined to do that, I can't begin to tell you how helpful it is to us on campus. For the last three years or four years or so, it has radically transformed the way we can do our ministry. And it's all because of you. People like you who are willing to say, yep, I can donate $25 all the way up to, I mean, just people have been incredibly generous. So I am incredibly thankful. If you wouldn't mind, any time between now and November 14th, you know, actually, the truth of the matter is, You can, anytime during the course of the year, the donate button is always on our website. But, be that as it may.

Any time between now and November 14th, if you wouldn't mind, if you pray about it, and you just feel drawn by the Lord to support our ministry, just go to bulldog Catholic.org. There's either a donate banner or a donate button, and if you wouldn't mind, that would be, it would help so many students. It would help us, and it would help us advance the gospel up here in northern Minnesota. that. Once again, when it comes down to it, I'm just grateful that, I hope that these homilies help you. I'm grateful for your prayers and for your support. And if there is something when it comes to finances that you'd like to share with us so that we can continue this ministry and continue this mission, I am, I am forever grateful. Thank you so much and God bless.