Sunday Homilies with Fr. Mike Schmitz - 7/2/23 Gift and Grief

Episode Date: July 1, 2023

Homily from the Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time Just one more thing that could go wrong. To protect one's heart is the safest way to live. But since we are made in God's image and likeness, we are made for love. Without love, we remain safe...but we remain incomprehensible to ourselves. To love is to be vulnerable...it is to risk. To receive the gift means we must be open to grief.Mass Readings from July 2, 2023:2 Kings 4:8-11, 14-16aPsalm 89:2-3, 16-17, 18-19Romans 6:3-4, 8-11 Matthew 10:37-42

Welcome to Sunday homilies with me, Father Mike Schmitz. I hope today's homily inspires and motivates you, and I also hope that it leaves you hungry for the one who gave everything to feed you. If you want to get this in other Sunday Mass resources sent straight to your inbox, sign up at ascensionpress.com slash Sunday or by texting Sunday to 33777. You can also follow or subscribe on your podcast app for weekly notifications. God bless. The Lord be with you.

I reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew. Chapter 10 verses 37 through 42. Jesus said to his apostles, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it. And whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Whoever receives you receives me. and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me. Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward. And whoever receives a righteous man, because he is a righteous man, will receive a righteous man's reward. And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to one of these little ones to drink because the little one is a disciple. Amen. I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.

The gospel of the Lord. So I didn't really ever get to know my dad's dad. I think he died when I was maybe around 10 years old. My grandpa Pete, though, my grandpa of Pete, there's something about him. I know a lot of things about him, some things I remember. But one thing that just stuck with me was whenever I see a power windows, power locks, power doors, all these kind of things, power steering. My grandpa, my dad said that my grandpa would say, like, when the new thing came out,

whenever like, my grandpa was a fix-it guy. He worked at the Ford plant in St. Paul, and he was the handyman there. He just fixed all things that broke down. My dad said that my grandpa would always say, here's power locks. Another thing to go wrong. Here's power windows. Just one more thing that could go wrong.

Here's power steering. Just one more thing that could go wrong. And I remember thinking like, wow, that makes sense to me. That seems so sensible. It seems so practical. It's just like, yeah, don't expect too much. You know, if you get more, that's just more that could go wrong. And I think there's something about that that just,

I, again, it's principle. It's practical, sensible. But maybe it's not. the best way to live. We have the first reading today. It's Second King's Chapter 4. Here's the story of Elisha, right? He's the prophet. He comes after Elijah. So this is Elijah with an SHA.A. And there's so much more in this story that we heard today. So what we heard today is, here's Elijah, the prophet. He goes to this, passing by this woman who, she's married, and she's this woman of Shunum. And basically, she realizes he's a prophet. She realizes he's a holy man. And so she wants to do

some nice things. She wants to help. She's generous. She has resources, right? She's well. wealthy and so they set up a little place on the roof she and her husband for Elijah the prophet and Elijah then in response wants her to be blessed and they found out well her husband's getting older they have no son and so at the end of the reading today Elisha tells her next year at this time you'll you'll have a baby you'll have a baby boy and okay we're like great that's the story good story gift blessing you kind of have the connection with the gospel today where Jesus says whoever receives a prophet because he's a prophet receives a prophet's to reward so she's just

treated Elisha, well, now she gets a blessing. But there's so much more to this story than we heard today. And part of that is, you know, at first, when you realize that here's this woman and she has a husband who's getting old and she has no son, the idea that she needs to have his son. Why? Because in the ancient world, to have a husband or to have a son was to have security. And so we missed this, but it's, I mean, it's kind of edited it out of the reading today for content's sake. But at one point, Elisha asks her, is there anything we can do for you? And she answers, she says, actually, no, I'm good. Basically, she says, she says, I'm living among my own people.

And in the translation of I'm living among my own people is basically she says, yeah, I'm good. I'm taking care of. Like, you want security, I've got it. She's wealthy. She has a people. So she's content. And in some ways you can think that her answer is like, you do want anything else, do you want anything special?

And she's, her answer is kind of like, yeah, don't mess with this. Like, just, I'm fine. She didn't need a son. in some ways you could even wonder if did she even want a son? Because maybe it's not that she wanted too much. Maybe part of the story is that she wanted too little, you know, one of the things that's so interesting from the gospel today, it's common mistake, common misunderstanding,

that when Jesus says, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, whoever loves sons and daughter more than me, is not worthy of me, that sometimes we think that Jesus is telling us to love them less. He's not. Jesus is not saying, love your father or mother less. He's not saying love your children less. He's not saying love the people who are important to you less. What he's saying is, whoever you love, whatever you love, love me first.

Place me first. Love me more. So it's not about loving less. It's about loving him more. But I think that so often that call to love more, we like to play it safe. I think maybe we sometimes prefer to just go for less. And so she says, I don't need anything. I'm good.

I'm thinking care. I'm content. So when Elijah tells us tell us, this woman, next year you have a baby boy, that's the end of our reading today, the next line in the story in 2nd King's chapter 4, she says to him, she says, do not mislead me. Or another way, I read an interpretation or a translation that said, that she said, do not get my hopes up. Remember, at this moment in her life, she's safe. In this moment in her life, she is secure. Maybe she's at the place where she's like, no, listen, this is my life. I've come to accept it.

Like, this is what I have. And so I'll do good with it. Like, this is what I have. This is life. It's all neat and it's all tidy. And listen, I'll think of others and I'll be generous. Like, if the prophet comes by, I'll give him a little studio apartment at my house. Like, basically, you can wonder if she's saying, like, I will neither complain, no will I ask for anything special. I'm fine. And I think, again, in our prayer, in our prayer, like when you and I pray, I think sometimes we don't ask God for much because we are content. And that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing. In fact, St. Paul writes to Timothy in 1st, chapter six he says godliness with contentment is great gain so sometimes we're like no i'm actually good

lord i have been blessed you love me already so i don't need anything extra and so sometimes we don't ask because we're content and that's awesome that's wonderful but sometimes i think that we don't ask because i know that to to ask is to reveal my desire i know that to ask is to reveal what i actually want to ask is to reveal my heart because of that to ask is to make oneself vulnerable so i don't ask just because I'm content, but I don't ask out of self-protection. I don't ask because it reveals my heart. I don't ask because I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't ask because I don't want to get an answer I don't want. And maybe the answer is going to be no. Maybe I say, actually, this is what I want. This is the desire of my heart and the answer is no. Or maybe the answer is going to be yes.

And that yes could complicate my life. Yeah, maybe you give me a gift. But you know what? That's just one more thing that could go wrong. Maybe I have a blessing. But you know what? that's just one more thing that could go wrong. So, again, I don't ask out of self-protection. Self-protection from what? Well, from what happens next? Because second King's chapter four, Elisha says, next year you have a son in verse 18.

It says, and the next year, she had a baby boy, and he was healthy. You even says that. She had a baby boy, and he was healthy. When you're like, wow, that's amazing. What a gift. And that's what it is. She has now a son. That is a gift.

But then the very next line, in chapters verses 19 and 20 it says when the son was old enough he went out into the field with his father to reap the harvest maybe so maybe five years old

and he says he got out to the field and he turned to his father and he said my head hurts so his father told one of the guys who was working with they take him back to his mother and says

she carried the boy to his mother she took him upstairs laid him on the bed of the man of God and he said He sat on her lap, and then he died. So here's this woman.

She was content before this. She was fine before all this. Her life was secure. Her life was safe. She was doing okay before all of this. And now she's devastated. But again, she actually, what goes on, she continues to play it safe.

She doesn't tell her husband that their son is dead. In fact, she just tells him that she wants to see Elisha. And he says, what's wrong? her answer is, it's all right. Then later on, someone else asks her, what's wrong? She says, everything is all right. And on one hand, another translation says, she says twice. She says, it is well. And then she says, all will be well. Again, on one hand, one perspective is you look at this woman and say, wow, what incredible faith. What an expression of faith. That is the case, right? For you and I to be in a place of devastation, do you not have to be in a place,

an incredible place of loss and grief and pain, to be able to say, it is well. All will be well is amazing. But if you look at the story, it's more likely that she's a little bit more like the person who says like, you know, I'm fine when everything is very clearly not fine. This is what she's saying. Because the story indicates that this woman's saying, everything's all right. It'll be all right. It's just more self-protection. Why? Because when she finally gets to Elisha, then she finally allows herself to feel. And when she finally gets to Elisha, she finally drops the act of self-protection and she falls at his feet. She'd grabs onto his feet.

And what she says to him just breaks your heart. She says to him, she says, did I ask you for a son? Didn't I tell you, do not mislead me? Didn't I tell you, do not get my hopes up? You can just hear this woman. Did I ask? Did I ask you for a son?

I was content. I was fine. It might, it was, everything was uncomplicated. And now my heart has been broken into a thousand unrecoverable pieces. and I never even asked for this. You know, again, we don't ask so often because I'm afraid of the answer. We don't ask so often

because I'm afraid to hope and then be disappointed. We don't ask because I'm afraid to really, really, really want something and then to lose it. I'm afraid to love and then to lose. And so how many of us are like this? How many of us are hesitant to actually enter into joy? How many of us are hesitant to even receive the gift

because we know the day's going to come when the joy ends. The day's going to come when that gift turns into grief. Because you know this is true, right? every good thing always comes to an end in this life. Every good thing is just one more thing that could go wrong. You know, I can't blame my grandpa Pete for this. He and my grandma, my dad is the 14th child of my grandpa Pete, my grandma Lucy.

He is their 14th child, but my dad is the only one of their children who lived. 13 times before my dad was born. My grandparents either had a miscarriage. One of their children, their children was still born or their children were born and then died shortly after they were born. And kind of the story is in my family a little bit that because of that,

my grandparents had two different responses to my dad being born and living. That my grandma was pretty overprotective of my dad, but that my grandpa kind of kept my dad at a distance. It was in some ways kind of cold to him. And you think, like, I get it. I understand why. I understand why my grandma was overprotective. Like this is the one who, this is after 13 children, this is the 14th one. He's the only one who lived. I understand my grandpa

would say, you know what? I can accept this gift, but you know what's going to come at a cost? I accepted 13 other gifts and all of them were taken away. Every gift comes to grief. Everything we love turns to loss because we know this. This will always be the risk in life. As C.S. Lewis has reminded us so many times to love. love at all is to be vulnerable. To care at all is to make life complicated. To love anything means that your heart will be wrung and most certainly broken. When that happens, we say, like, did I even ask for this? You know, more and more people I hear, I hear more and more people on a regular basis, the young people, but different people of all ages who look at their lives

and they say, look, this, my life. I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask for this life. And yet, here I am, I have to live this life. And they see life as, this is the thing that crushes me. They see the life is, this is the place where we get hurt. So I didn't even ask for this. And that cry of the heart is real. And it's nothing new. If you read the Bible, can go back to the book of Job. We know the story of Job in the Old Testament.

Job is a man who's blessed. He's a righteous man. He has a wife. He has a bunch of kids. They're all grown. They're all good kids. He has all this land. He has all these flocks and herds and all these kind of things.

And at one point, pretty quickly, it all gets taken away. His flocks, his herds get stolen. in one day every one of his children die and then finally job himself finds himself in a place of agony physical agony not only emotional and heartbreak in agony but in physical agony and it only takes three chapters to get him in there it only took two chapters to get him to this third chapter where then job cries out and he says this he says perish the day on which i was born the night of which they said this child is a boy may that day the day i was born may that day be darked Let not God above call for it, nor light shine upon it. May darkness and gloom claim it.

Cloud settled upon it, hid blackness of night arighted it. May obscurity seized that day that had not occur among the days of the year nor enter into the count of months. I just wish I'd never been born. He goes on. Gets even worse. He says, why did I not perish at birth? Come forth from the womb and then just die right there. He says, why was I not buried away like an untimely birth, like babes who have never seen the light? Wherefore did the knees receive me? Or why did I suck at the breasts, for then I should have been laid down and been tranquil. Had I slept, I should have been at rest. I didn't ask for this life. What's the point of life if it's all going to be taken away at the end? What's the point of love? If at some point it always just leads to loss. What's the point of caring?

Because once you start caring, things get complicated. One of the big challenges, one of the big answers we have to ask and about life is, can I say yes to the gift? Because if I say yes to the gift, then I know I'm saying yes to the grief. If I can't say us to the gift or the grief, how will I ever be able to say yes to life? But again, we can say this, I'm not open to grief because every gift is just another thing

that could go wrong. Some of you know Father John Ricardo, he and his partner in crime, his name is Mary, they have a podcast called, You're born for this. It's great, but just relatively recently, Mary, he's co-host on this podcast

and kind of co-missionary in the world. her mother had passed away. Her mother died. And they'd voted a podcast that talking about Mary's grief. She was just so honest, she was so vulnerable about just her heartbreak.

And in the course of just processing this, and course of praying through it, she said something. I don't know if it was her quote or something she made up or something she was reading at the time, but she said this, she said about, you know,

the end of our life. She said, you know, all this heartbreak causes scars in our lives. Like all the loving and losing, all the gift and then the grief and causes scars on our lives. And she said, if we are lucky, we will get to the end of our life with many scars.

If we're lucky, we'll get to the end of our life with many scars. Not that we search for scars, but that we're open to the things that can break our hearts. Not that we're looking for loss, but that we're willing to hope. Remember, Jesus doesn't tell us in the gospel today. He doesn't tell us to love less. He doesn't tell us, hey, protect yourself

about everything that, every gift you've been given because it could be taken away. doesn't say protect yourself about every blessing because it could become a burden. Jesus says, we have to love more, that we have to be courageous, we have to be courageous in our love, that we have to be courageous in our lives. We have to have the courage to care even while knowing that we could lose. Because what's the alternative? The alternative is we find ourselves insulating ourselves in so many little layers of self-protection

and heartbreak will not touch us, but neither will love. So we have a choice. And this is the last thing. The story goes on in 2nd Kings chapter 4. The woman comes to Elisha. Did I even ask for a son? Did I not tell you to get my hopes up? And Elisha races to this boy's bed where he's dead.

And in a miracle, Elisha brings the boy back to life, returns him to his mother. In the book of Job, what happens after all this stuff, God reveals himself to Job. And Job's fortune gets restored. like he and his wife have more kids. He and his wife have more lands and more herds and more flocks. And we can look at that and say, well, good for them.

Like, hey, I'm really glad they got what they wanted at the end of their story. That's not me. Good for them. Good for her. She got her son back. I didn't. Good for him. He got his children back.

I didn't. The reality is they still had to ask and answer the same question that we all face in life. They had to ask and answer the same question we all face whether we're present. with a gift or were presented with grief. Now what? You imagine this mom, here's your son back and she could pull back her heart. Here's his mom, who knows that I had this baby boy, and for five years I had him. He went out into the field for hours, maybe even less than that.

And he came back and he died in my arms so she could have been given her son back and she could have pulled back her heart. Job could have said, listen, I lost all my kids in a single day. Here I have all these new children. Listen, I'm going to love them tentatively. this is just one more thing that could go wrong. This is just one more gift that could turn to grief. This is just one more chance for my heart to be broken.

And the same thing is true when it comes to us. We're resented with a gift. We're presented with a blessing. Presented with the opportunity to enter into joy, opportunity to be given more, the opportunity to care, knowing that it could be more complicated. I mean that every gift will turn to grief, we could say it's not worth it.

Or we could say the gift is worth the grief. We can say the love is worth the loss. We can say the joy is worth the heartache. And we can say no matter the risk, this life is worth the living.