Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 10 5/10/20

Episode Date: May 10, 2020

On Sunday Papers Podcast this week we mourn Little Richard and celebrate Mothers Day. Mike is very upset about Family Circus.  

You can read it in the Sunday Papers. Read it in the Sunday Papers. Read all about it. Welcome to the Sunday Papers. It's another exciting week where all week you're confused. News is coming at you left and right. What does it mean? Why is it funny?

How does it relate to me? Well, I thought you meant they were confused after listening to this. Because that should be in our tagline somewhere. Yeah. Well, how much news do you actually ingest during the week? Because I pretty much cram it before Sunday papers. I do. Like, for instance, this huge story in Georgia with the killing. That's that's the what killing? With the killing? That's the- What killing? A white father and son killed a black guy.

Was he maybe jogging? I'm ashamed that I don't know more about it, but that's my point. I just have been ducking the news. So you're right. I crammed also for this week. Right. There's news fatigue. You know what I mean?

Yeah, there's news fatigue you know what i mean yeah there's news fatigue and it's also uh i think all of us are struggling so much in our personal lives with claustrophobia and sort of existentially wondering how we're going to pay the bills for the next year and then on top of that when you hear news that confounds you angers you you. It's too much. And so I just watch TikTok. I fucking watch TikTok two or three hours a day. So in the business, one of my business stories is all the unemployment, but there's a couple of industries hiring. TikTok is hiring.

I'm sure they are. I should work for them. But listen, listeners, first of all, thank you for being here. Yes. We have a lot of great stories today. So don't let us get you down, which is how we operate, right out of the gate. But there's a lot of funny stuff. Well, it's Mother's Day. Let's start with that. Happy Mother's Day to our female listeners who have children. Or maybe you had an abortion, but for a moment you thought about being a mother. You certainly considered it a little bit. Maybe one daisy for you. Not a dozen roses.

Maybe it was an incredibly unselfish move. You thought about the best thing. So in a way that's very maternal. Maybe we give them one of those dandelions that has the white little things and then you blow it and they go away that's the flower oh nice interesting uh my wife is uh the greatest mother of all time shout out to her she is caring and empathetic and has made my my job as a half-assed father so much better how do you feel you're divorced from your wife. Do you celebrate? Do you give her anything for Mother's Day? I give her the kids. So they're here with me now. I'm in my closet, but they're here with me now and they're going to go over there for brunch tomorrow. But I would like to give a shout out, though, because I hear so many nightmare stories about divorced couples. I hear so many nightmare stories about divorced couples. And all you have to do is even have a different philosophy on parenting, even like well-minded, attentive parents.

It can be nightmarish if you do not agree with the mode of parenting in the other house. Then, of course, the next level is people who are shitty parents. And now they're with the other, the shitty parent 50% of the time. We have neither of that. And my ex is a great mom. She's a great mom. She is like, well, first of all, she's studied psychology. And, you know, she's a life coach.

So, I mean, she knows her shit. And then you guys, she has introduced a lot of different parenting philosophies. I know that into your family and you've embraced them. You've sort of like you've come over with her. Yeah, no, no. And we shared a bunch of things anyway, like my no media. So that's what resulted in kind of the Waldorf thing anyway. So, yeah, happy Mother's Day to her for sure and then I have to my mom I grew up this is where I get a lot of my cynicism my mom so resented Mother's Day like oh so this is the one day where we're you know remember it's 1970s right I'm with my single

mom who's fucking whoops cursed I'm gonna try to curse. Who was totally broke going back to school, overwhelmed. You know, she went you know, she was divorced with a high school education, wound up with two master's degrees. So she went back with a vengeance. But she resented any of that. Like, you know, Mother's Day for her was just for the traditional moms, almost like I think it felt very patronizing, which is the best word for it. And so she really resented it. But, um, but I think if we didn't do anything, she would also miss that. So I'll chime in with a mother's day for her tomorrow. Did you send her flowers? Um, I don't know, but I know that's why flower shops are open. That was one of the, you know, the first things is that's on the list in California is flower shops are open.

So you're going to pick some up and bring them over? I might make a quiche or something like that and then bring it over to her. Nice. Yeah, do something like that. Do a breakfasty brunch type thing. I have to say. Beautiful. But you have to understand growing up with her was like, just as an example, she'd just be so overwhelmed.

She didn't have any patience. But she'd take us to back-to-school shopping, and we'd be in a department store. And she would pick something up, and if it didn't have a price tag, she would just embarrass us every time. And my sister, Laura, and I would hide. And so she would pick up something, and there'd be no price tag. And she'd just literally yell at the department store, so so this is free it's free this is free because there's no price on it and you know those round racks in department stores yeah we would sneak in the center of those to hide from my mother who is now making a scene my mother used to sneak us

under the turnstiles in the new york city sub. I had a fucking beard, and she was trying to get me the under 13 rate at the movies. She was the ultimate scammer. Right. Yeah. Totally. Yeah, we do. I lie. I take the kids skiing.

There's no way I'm paying the adult. Skiing is so expensive. I'm like, you are 12. Right. Well, happy Mother's Day. Also, we got to give a shout out to our buddy Duds, who is turning 53 today down in Atlanta, Georgia. He just called me with Pete on a FaceTime call and they were on the golf course. Wow. Driving around. Yeah. Yeah. They're allowed to drive in the same cart?

Yep. Because my dad is in Florida. These guys you just mentioned are in Georgia. And their rule is one person per cart. Okay. Yeah. And no one can touch your things. You have to load your own bag, all that stuff. There's no flags. There's no rakes. There's all this stuff. And at his course, no black people no black people right well yes that that's a given it's palm beach yeah right yeah um also we want to uh i had a great cinco de mayo this week we had you know because my well you know my kids went to um spanish uh immersion right their whole life so they've been their classes are 50 latino, many of them from non-English speaking homes. And so they were,

they've been celebrating Cinco de Mayo like it's Christmas their whole lives. It's a big fucking holiday. Right. And so, so we, uh, we had a blast. We went over to the,

uh, Dunsky's house and we let them have a margarita. They each had a margarita. And then we, and then, uh, and then when I wasn't looking, Lisa, of course, gave them a shot of tequila on the side.

And then we went back to our house and smoked cigars and played poker for like two hours. Very Mexican. We played good Mexican music. We had Mexican music playing, good Spotify list. And then we went in the hot tub. We were in the hot tub at like midnight, cranking Mexican music. It was great.

Great Cinco de Mayo. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. We had margaritas here. Did you? Yeah. With the girls?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. I'll give them a little taste for sure. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. All right, before we get into the podcast, I want to thank, oh, my God, we got so many comments on the Apple podcast page. We got five stars. So nice.

Hundreds of nice comments. Lots of good letters coming in. We read every one of them, respond to every one of them. Fitzdogradio at gmail.com. Send us a note. We'll read some of them later. com. Send us a note. We'll read some of them later. And also the art that we get from you guys every week. You'll notice we have a different logo that we put up on on the charts. And this week, Josh Wallace did a very funny family circus Sunday Papers logo. So we'll see that.

It's so cool of these people to do that, to take the time. I mean, I know. Yes, I know there's time, but but I haven't been that productive. So it's so nice of these people to do that yeah all right well let's get into it it's time for the sunday papers front page that doesn't even sound like a newspaper i forgot to bring a hard copy one. This is here, here, here. Now that's good. You do it. Oh God. I have to do the sound effects this week.

Yep. Every time. I also apologize. My voice is a sound effect. I'm fully congested. My ears are blocked. So I'm going around the house like an old man. I have, I have to put subtitles on everything.

I'm a, I'm a bit of, and when you're hearing goes, I haven't noticed my balance gone, but it is disorienting. Everything is very disorienting. Yeah, I get allergies and my ears clog up. And when I'm on stage, sometimes I can't hear my own voice, so I can't regulate my volume. And then I start losing my voice because I realize I'm screaming. That is exactly what's going on now. Yeah. because I realize I'm screaming. That is exactly what's going on now. Yeah.

Okay. All right. On the front page, the governor of South Dakota has given an ultimatum to two Sioux tribes. Remove checkpoints on state and U.S. highways within 48 hours or risk legal action. Letters were sent to the Ogallala Sioux tribe and the Cheyenne River Sioux tribe.

I guess they have these checkpoints to prevent the spread of the virus on their land and you can only do essential activity when you return to the to the what do you call the tribal land the the reservation, you get you get checked. You have to fill out a questionnaire. So here's my feeling on it. Look, in light of the whole smallpox blanket incident, I say we back off the Native Americans on the pandemic that's going on. So wait, so I'm clear. The government has stepped in and said Native Americans, So I'm clear the government has stepped in and said Native Americans, you cannot do these checks. That's right. I mean, aren't they getting decimated?

Like, isn't it one of the hardest hit? Yes. Communities. Yeah. And I think these communities have been I think these Sioux tribes have actually been Corona free and they're trying to keep it that way. These ones are. But it's probably because the many other reservations have been far from that lucky. Yes. Yeah.

And, man, that whole smallpox trick was— Have you read at all about the Sioux Indians or any Indians? Now, the Siouxs were very violent. I know that. Very violent. And they fought each other. That's what I mean. I'm not talking about,

of course, God bless whoever fought back against a white man. No, but I'm just talking about among other tribes. Yeah, there were, um, but there was a certain way of doing it though.

There was like, there were rules to it. Um, but there's this amazing biography of, um, uh, what's his name? Uh, I just read it.

I'm forgetting his fucking name. Who, one of the famous chiefs? Yeah. Can't help you. All right, I'll think of it. I mean, Sitting Bull? I mean, who? No, he was the same tribe as Sitting Bull,

but it was, what the fuck? Why the fuck am I spacing? Anyway. Such disrespect to the Native Americans, even the story. Speaking of disrespect, Walmart, little issue at Walmart. That happens sometimes, doesn't it? A woman was body slammed by an off-duty police officer in Alabama because she didn't have a mask on.

There were cell phone videos that have gotten like 200,000 views. The guy was working off-duty as a security guard, and she has been charged with a bunch of stuff because apparently you must wear a mask when you go into Walmart. Wow. You know, a guy was shot for telling someone to wear a mask.

I saw that headline. No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's, you know, of course there are going to be crazy stories out there on both sides. Well, especially when you can shoot somebody with a mask on, they don't know who fucking did it. People are like outlaws. Holy shit.

I was walking my dog yesterday. This really happened. I'm walking my dog and i'm going down the one of the walk streets i have these walk streets near my house and they're like houses on either side so the sidewalk in between them is very narrow right and i'm and i'm walking my dogs and i come up and there's this guy and his girl and kind of a tough outdoorsy looking guy like not homeless but has worn out his welcome on the couches of all his friends at this point. That's even outdoorsy. Okay. Yeah. He's, he has slept in

his car, but he, he, so, so he's there and he's got a drink in his hand. He's got a plastic cup with booze in it. Yeah. And as I walk by, he's kind of harassing a neighbor, asking if he can sit on their lawn furniture. And I come by and he's got a pit bull a neighbor asking if he can sit on their lawn furniture and i come by and he's got a pit bull of course oh yeah who starts growling at my dog and my dog growls back and i go i go sorry he gets uh he gets intimidated by big dogs he goes you too freckle face you scared of me and then he puts me in a fucking headlock and i go whoa whoa i go what about the social distancing and he grabs his dick and he goes i got your social distancing right here and is this a fever dream are you saying this happened this

happened yesterday while i was walking my dog a stranger put you in a headlock yeah and so i called 911 and i said this fucking lunatic is harassing neighbors. I said, I'm not going to press charges, but you should know that this guy is a danger to the community. I gave the address and hopefully they sent the cops and talked to the guy. Wait, you suffer from road rage. How did you not freak out? Because this guy was fucking strong. When he put me in the headlock it was over he was like you know those guys that some homeless guys you go like do you belong to gold's gym how do you have that physique and you sleep on the street it's you know it's also crazy person strength and it's crazy person strength and i also didn't trust that the girl wouldn't jump in i didn't trust that

he doesn't have the virus and i didn't want to get any closer to him so uh yeah so i walked away and i had no resistance there was no part of me that snapped into that rage if i'm gonna get this guy good for you so like a fucking snitch i called the cops no i know but that's the proper thing to do. I can't believe that, man. Yeah, it was crazy. Whoa. that is feeling like their liberty to not wear masks and to not social distance is something they're celebrating. And they're getting angry at people that are respecting these distances. Right. Yeah. And their attitude. So what was the pit bull like? Because normally when a pit bull owner gets in a fight, the pit bull loses it. Yeah. Well, when he grabbed me, it wasn't aggressive.

It was almost like we're buddies. Like, hey, man, you scared of me? Right. Like fooling around. Hey, you scared of me? Yeah, it was like that. Yeah, he was just trying to show you, like, I'm going to touch you. Yep.

I got it. Yeah. Wow, man, that's crazy. I know. I know. Things are getting crazy out there. I'll tell you where else it's getting crazy. The cruise ships. Do you know that there are 70,000 crew remaining aboard idle cruise ships right now? 70,000. How are they eating? That's in U.S. waters alone. That's not including the rest of the world.

Really? Yep. And the companies are trying to figure out, like, the CDC and different governments have all these regulations about what they have to go through to get back on land. And they're in these fucking—because, you know, the crew, they're not in the nice rooms. They're in these fucking windowless prison cell rooms. Well, maybe they moved them to the nice rooms. They're in these fucking windowless. Oh, totally. Prison cell rooms. Well, maybe, maybe they moved them to other contaminated rooms. Right. To, uh, to up the situation.

Right. Wow. Can you imagine, imagine being the fucking cruise ship comedian that week? Oh. You think, you think I'm just on for the week. You know, I got to do two shows, the clean show and the dirty show, and then I'm done. Boy, they're really burning through material. They're on hour 74. Yeah, right. They've already done crowd work with every single person on the ship. They've

made fun of everybody's shirt. So what part of the West side of Cleveland are you from, sir? Jim? And how did you and your wife meet again? You're going to stick to that story, huh? All right. Two kids. All right. All right. Let me know when that changes. Now, once again, I'll be selling my CD after the show. I know you guys all have it, but you know, you might need a gift. Mother's Day is coming up. And I'm going to sign these. And by the way, listen up, I've legally changed my name.

So it's a new signature. I just want to give you, you know, more value. Oh, my God. Also in the news this week, the White House is pushing to return to its failed experiment in relying on temperature screening for air travelers to detect the virus. So basically, they tried this and they realized it's a complete waste of resources to take people's temperatures when they show up at the airport. And the CDC said we should be concentrating our resources where there is impact and probability of mission success. So it's one of these like PR stunts to show people we can make it safe when in fact it's going to do very little and it's going to cost money and resources. Wow. But a lot of other countries are doing this temperature taking effectively, aren't they?

I hadn't heard that. Probably. Probably. I think so. Like in Asia, Singapore and stuff like that, they were doing, well, you want to go to international news? Should I make a paper crinkle? Yeah, let's go to international. I was just going to say, though, if they're going to take your temperature,

my temperature's already up. I'm not getting on the flight because I just had a beefy TSA guy rub the inside of my thigh. I'm going up to about 101 just based on that. Also, the back of my throat is packed with hot Cinnabon. Maybe two of them. So are you going to factor that in? Right. I just had a caribou caramel latte.

Yeah. Exactly. All right. So let's do international. International. There it is. So speaking of, yeah, I brought up Singapore. They're doing temperature checks and all this. But did you see that video that went around? The headline was Singapore deploys robot dog to encourage social distancing.

Now, it is this. Just look it up. It is this robot dog that I have seen. I've seen it out of like what is it called? Boston Robotics or New England Robotics. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen those. The thing can walk up to a door, open the door with that, you know, with a handle. And it's being it's actually being like menaced by a person who's trying to keep it from opening the door with a, you know, with a handle and it's being, it's actually being like menaced by a person who's trying to keep it from opening the door, trying to knock it over and stuff. And it just will have none of it. And it successfully opens the door and goes through it. And it's a pull door, not a push. It's really impressive, but it really reminded me of, um, Fahrenheit 451 because in Fahrenheit 451, he has the mechanical hound. And this is what everyone's talking about. So in Singapore, you'll see this video of these dogs

that are patrolling the parks. It looks exactly like Central Park and it's patrolling it. And it is recording video and it can sense if you're wearing a mask or not. And so shit. Yes. So what people are getting scared of is, okay, that can be like helpful now, but what's the limit to that? And 451 Ray Bradbury. I mean, it's, it's one of the most unbelievable books ever, but this is how he talks about the mechanical hound. A reincarnation of the vengeful furies from Greek mythology and the epitome of modern perverted science, the mechanical hound is a slick electronic hitman formed of copper wire and storage batteries and smelling of blue electricity. This is kind of a critical take on the book that someone wrote. This is kind of a critical take on the book that someone wrote.

He's an omnipresent menace capable of storing so many amino acids, so much sulfur, so much blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, he goes on. The hound represents government control and manipulation of technology. Originally, dogs served as the rescuers of firemen in the book. They were given the job of sniffing out the injured or weak. However, in this dystopia, the hound has been made into a watchdog of society. Like the Furies,

the mechanical hound has been programmed by the government to avenge and punish citizens who break society's rules. Wow. Think about Hong Kong. If they had a fleet of those, they could disrupt any protest that's going on. Oh, no. And that's the vision. You know, it's like RoboCop. And this for instance, I remember a story in Dallas and they were good. They sent in little robots. It was a hostage situation. These guys, I think it was Dallas, had taken a couple of prisoners in like this inner city situation that broke out.

And so they sent in like a robot. But soon you'll just be like, turn on the dog and the dog will run in there and run right up to them with video back to the police who are like, you know, monitoring the dog. And the dog will obviously have guns on it as well. And tear gas, yeah. Tear gas, guns, it'll have everything. Why not? In Fahrenheit 451, it had this, it was out of, it wasn't out of Alien. Alien came out of the book.

It was this menacing, like, this slick silver hollow needle that would come out, and in it was tons of morphine, and it could put to sleep whatever prey it got including humans yeah shit so amazing yeah i know it's kind of crazy yeah i mean it's um can i borrow it to get into my daughter's room when she tries to lock me out yeah you guys wanted a new dog here you go and. And it plays really well with your existing dogs. Do you know she got upset because we were coming into her room too much? So one morning while we were out, she didn't have a lock on her door.

She took the knob off of our door and tried to put it on her own door so she'd have a lock. And she couldn't do it. So the knobs were all just fucking taken apart. Now that's perfect. Massive backfire. By the way, did you see they, this,

uh, this, they crawling at a murder Hornet from, uh, Asia is over here and it's in, it's in Washington state, maybe Oregon. Yeah.

And it goes into beehives and fucking decimates thousands of bees at a time. Kills every single bee. It eats their heads. Did you see the video where a single murder hornet killed the mouse? Killed a rat? No. The rat is trying to fight like crazy and trying to bite it back. It just poisons it to death.

Whoa. Whoa. Yep. Dude, I posted and you could go to my Instagram and watch it or no, my tweet, my Twitter, um, a praying mantis taking on the,

uh, murder Hornet and eating its head off slowly. It's an amazing video. Did you see the other one where the murder Hornet took off the praying mantis, his head? Oh no. Yeah. So it's a draw. I'd call it a draw. video did you see the other one where the murder hornet took off the praying mantis's head oh no yeah so it's a draw i'd call it a draw because i mean this thing will literally decimate all the bees in the country and you know we count on those bees to pollinate the almond trees and like they

literally our whole agricultural system relies on bees so we've outsmarted them though though, but we have to jump on it because I went down a wormhole. That's what I watched this week. I still haven't watched The Wire, haven't started The Wire, but I watched about 40 videos on murder hornets. So you put out this sticky trap, which is so sticky it's meant to catch rodents, and you have to get one of the murder hornets. So that's the little tough part. But you get one of the murder hornets and you put it on there

and then you just leave that out where they are because it then releases pheromones saying it's in trouble and it's a signal and all the other hornets come to help it and they all get stuck. Wow. No shit. Yes. Oh, I like that. So we have a solution if we can do it

or enough people learn about it right right we take advantage we take advantage of the only nice quality this bastard murder hornet has which is caring which is caring and trying to help suffering murder hornets yeah you're a murder hornet you don't get saved you fucking murder yeah um also in international we had uh south korea as you know famously contained their coronavirus after a really bad outbreak at the beginning they uh they lowered they lowered their peak or whatever they call it and had almost no cases at all. So they relaxed social distancing. People were going to fucking nightclubs and churches. And all of a sudden, guess what? It's back with a vengeance. So that may be a little

hint into our future if we decide that it's time. And first of all, the day that Georgia and Texas and all these states relaxed social distancing was the highest rate of deaths of the coronavirus to date. No, and they say California, you know, it's still tons of cases. So we'll see. This Friday was the first day of relaxing rules. Golf courses, flower shops. What else opened? Bookstores, music stores.

Bookstores was a weird one. Yeah, I know. How many people does that affect? Yeah. I mean, how many are there? Well, the golf course opened and Owen got offered a job at the snack bar shop. But the snack bar is not open yet, right? It is.

He was there today. Well, he was there to fill out paperwork. I don't know if he starts yet, but he got the job. But I don't think the snack bar can be open yet. Oh. Well, it will be soon. Yeah. That's phase three.

We're in phase two. I don't know. I know Matt Malloy and all those guys all golf today gubbins i think was out there and uh you know i guess you can play but uh oh we already talked about this yeah you can play but yeah you can't touch the right hand and all that shit um also on international news in south africa the government has banned the sale of tobacco and alcohol. And they're being really fucking strict about it because they say it's- I would not ban those now.

No, no. What the fuck else are people going to do? Human beings need vices. In my mind, we have bad tendencies and good tendencies, and they both have to be exercised. And if you take away a bad behavior, it's going to be replaced by another one. Not only that, you're taking away a behavior that nullifies some really bad behavior. Yes. Like, should I go kill that person? Maybe I should just have another drink first. You know what I mean?

Like, or let me, you know, smoke my, let me, you know, sort of numb myself. Right. So I don't do anything stupid. Yeah. Maybe they should have done this when AIDS popped up. Yeah. No, but I mean, also alcohol sales are through the roof,

but there's a very good explanation. No, but I mean, also alcohol sales are through the roof, but there's a very good explanation. Obviously people are drinking more, but that doesn't explain all of it. It's very easy. There's no drinking in restaurants or bars. That's it. So that, that drinking has moved into the home. Yep. So of course sales are going to go up. How much drinking are you doing lately? I was not, I was, you know, my drinking is always tempered by, I tend not to drink, not as a rule, but when the girls are here, there's just, you know, I kind of don't. So that would be 50% of my time. So I guess three and a half nights a week, I wasn't really drinking. That is out the window now.

And I'm drinking about roughly seven nights a week. And so, um, some nights more than others, but, uh, last week was more the most. And so I've decided to do a little less. The last two nights, not that bad. Good. Yeah. So we'll see. But yeah, no, you want to, because it's a little of the same old, same old. It's not like you're coming home after work and there's a giant change. It's like you could have worked out for our. It's not like you're going to work out when you get home or whatever. Yeah, it's like there's you're just like, OK, let's change. Let's go to another level here. Let's try to make this same setting seem different.

Also, you got nothing to wake up for. I mean, I think a lot of people hold back on their drinking because they don't want to be hung over at work. That's a big reason. I totally agree with that. Yep. All right, what else do we got? All right, let's move to entertainment, Mike. Hooray for Hollywood.

There's the paper. I'm doing sound effects. Everything is blending into, in terms of what I've seen, I can't keep straight what I've seen anymore. I am being an idiot. I haven't seen Mad Men. I haven't seen The Wire.

I need to see those. You never saw Mad Men? I know. Holy shit. And yet I started American Horror Story this past week, which I only made it to episode like six. It's very campy, but I know it's good. I probably picked the wrong one. I watched the first one. Have you seen any of these? Yeah, I think it's very good, but it's not Mad Men or The Wire by any means. So maybe some listeners can tell me which American horror story is the best one. I heard the new version, which is Hollywood.

I don't know if it's technically American horror story, but Hollywood has been put out by that guy, Ryan Murphy or whatever his name is. And so I've been told to see that. So everything's blending. Like literally, I was like, I totally remembered one of the girls getting an abortion. Like, I totally remembered one of the girls getting an abortion. And I'm like, wait, she got an abortion. And I was confusing it with a girl that got an abortion in another series, which was which was the little fires everywhere, which I went back and I tried to finish because I was like, I might have given it a harsh review. It's little criers everywhere.

Episode seven. I honestly believe every single woman cried in that episode. And by the way, that's at least eight women with different storylines. Right. And Kerry Washington cries. I wonder if she cried in every single episode multiple times. I bet she did. I wonder if they do the eyedrop trick or if they're able to actually generate the tears.

These, no, these, they look like they are, no, they're like energetically, melodramatically crying. Yeah. Big time. Did it make you cry? No, not, it made me stop watching. But I was just, you're bored with it because it's melodrama. And also keep in mind, they are staying on someone who's crying for the longest time so that's doing something for someone it's not really and listen i you know i'm a crier i cry during et i and i there are things i like tuning into we talked about crying during perks of being a

we are far from above this i'm not talking about like oh it's such a chick thing the crying i love a good cry i love something that makes me cry. This, though, it's like I'm watching incredibly unstable people melodramatically cry. And it reminded me of- What's it called again? Little Fires Everywhere. It's out of Reese Witherspoon. Oh, yeah.

She's got to slow down. Reese Witherspoon is on it's like it's oh yeah she's got to slow down Reese Witherspoon is on a fucking tear I don't get it when somebody's worth 30 million dollars you know and you got a kid she's got a kid just fucking relax and spend some guy she's got a production company she's launching shows she's on three series she's doing movies you know promoting products products. It's like, where does it end? It's like she became a Scientologist. I think what she did though, it's like, she's been bitten by like the Oprah bug of like, just get out there and kill it. You know what I mean? Just have the best attitude ever and just keep going forward.

I guess it's also, if I'm not mistaken hers are mostly female projects if you can call them that but it began with the you know the book Wild I think it was called Wild and then she made a movie out of it no no she made a movie out of the book and then about a woman who

goes into the wild at a crossroads in her life and to find herself. And then Little, what's the one that took place on the coast? Pretty Little Liars? Pretty Little Liars. Yeah. And now Little Fires Everywhere.

I confused those two. So she's been doing a lot of that. She's been around a long time. Remember, she was in election. She was fucking great in election. Oh, she's done so many great things. She's she's really strong. Don't get me wrong.

She's amazing. She's really, really great. So there's that. By the way, yesterday we were supposed to be going to the Rolling Stones. Speaking of entertainment. I know. The kickoff show of their world tour in San Diego. I was so psyched for it.

I know we had a whole group of people. People were flying was so psyched for it. I know. We had a whole group of people. People were flying in from Philly for it. We were getting an Airbnb on the beach. It was going to be fucking amazing. It was going to be so great. Ugh. And I worry.

I was worried that they'd make it to this date because we bought the tickets like four months ago. Yeah. Jagger's already had his heart surgery. But I don't know. They're great great though uh i saw them at the that's why we're going because i told all you guys i saw them in the rose bowl last fall they were unbelievable yeah i saw them about five years ago and i i didn't nobody's missing a step in that fucking band you know they're they're playing hard i know keith richards is you know apparently he says he's not on top of his game as much,

but you know what? He's a, they got, uh, Ron Wood is still playing with them, right? Oh my God. He keeps it all together.

That guy's the one that keeps it all together. Yeah. He's the, he's the glue. He's the energy, but it's really raw. And it's, it's,

it's, I didn't realize it till, so I'm in the Rose bowl and I just seen you two in the Rose bowl. And I mean, I know it's like old guy, uh, thing, but i'm in there and i'm like wow i haven't heard like raw instruments like under produced in a stadium in since i can't remember like everything is so produced now and you're like wow this is i mean it's the Stones image. It's warts and all. And it sounds like this is what they'd be playing in a bar, like at, you know, a super loud bar set.

And it's in a stadium. And it's really amazing to see. You know what the worst is, is when you go to concerts now and everybody in front of you has their cell phone up videotaping it. It's like, dummy, you're fucking here. Is there a point in time where you're going to sit and stare at that and watch it and feel better about how you would feel if you were dancing and engaged with this show that you're in the middle of?

I told you my buddy Dickie brought me to U2. That's the show I just mentioned in the Rose Bowl. And I remember seeing videos when they were doing Joshua Tree's anniversary. So there you two is about to play Joshua Tree from first note to last note the album. I could not have been more excited. And I remember seeing videos where it's like that giant Danielle Lenoir like build into the streets. I've known him like and he starts he's running in a circle running running running. And then all of a sudden the crescendo at the beginning of the song is like, I want to run.

I mean, there's footage of them in Italy, Brazil, all over the world. And the stadium is pulsating. I mean, the whole floor of the stadium is jumping in unison. And the whole stadium is pulsating. Here it comes again. He's running around saying, I want to run. And everyone is absolutely still. So they don't jar the video they're taking with their phone. Right. And he commented on it. Yeah, I know. So they can post it on YouTube or whatever on Instagram and show people what a good time they're having. No,

you're not. You're not having a good time. Also, there's 40,000 other videos of the exact same moment from 40,000 angles. Right. So stupid. So I've been watching, uh, on TV.

If you want to binge something really good, I think there's only like six or seven episodes, but it's called Mrs. Mrs. America. And it's, uh, I started it.

Yeah. It's really good. Well, first of all, it's, uh, Kate, uh, Blanchette. Yeah. Kate Blanchette. America. I started it, yeah. It's really good. Well, first of all, it's Cate Blanchett. Yeah. Cate Blanchett? Yep. You talked about her last week also.

Oh, I did. You did. And now they did an episode about Bella Abzug. You know, the lesbians all fell apart. Not the lesbians. Lesbians do. The feminists. They're human, Gregreg they fall apart also the feminists i meant to say all fell apart they splintered the whole movement which had momentum suddenly split apart and and you know and it was racial too because there was a woman who was running for president, Shirley Chisholm.

And basically, Bella Abzug and the other feminists were saying, you know, give up and back George McGovern because he'll help us in Washington. And she's like, I'm a fucking black woman running for president. Why won't you support me to the end? And it was really like it's a brave series because, first of all, Cate Blanchett is playing a character who's very unsympathetic and represents something that's against all of her values. And she's doing it in a way that is humanizing. And it's also showing this movement as completely inept that, you know, women had this chance.

They had this momentum and they blew it themselves. Well, you know, it's that divisive They had this momentum and they blew it themselves. Well, you know, it's that divisive issue on the Equal Rights Amendment, too. You know, like a lot of women weren't against it. Like, no, I don't think we should be drafted just like men if we go to war. Right. That was one, you know, that would be one of the implications. But that was that that was a red herring. Is that what is that the right phrase? When you say that we're trying to play a straw man. Yeah phrase? Probably a straw man. That was a straw man. That was a straw herring. And it really

would not have been a draft the way they were trying to describe it. I think it was more symbolic like maybe we don't want it just to be as blind of a policy. Like aren't we protected already under the civil rights? I should know

more about it i don't yeah i also showed my kids american graffiti when's the last time you watched that movie god a long time ago how was it holy shit it was first of all it's uh george lucas yeah and it's like based on his life of growing up in the Valley in, in Los Angeles. And it's got the most developed, interesting characters. Cause they're all based on real people from his life. And it's one night in the Valley in this teenage world where they get into

cars, cool cars, like fucking, you know, like 1951 Bel Airs and so they cruise and people get in and out of each other's cars and there's a sock hop

and it's just like so immersed in a world I just love a movie that takes you into a time and a place where you get lost and when it's over you think about how you felt about that experience for days. And that's how that movie is. Oh, great. And what a cast. It's got Harrison Ford. It's got Richard

Dreyfuss. There's this one mysterious woman who's in a white Thunderbird. And Richard Dreyfuss keeps seeing her from a distance and chasing her. Oh, I know her well. And it's Suzanne Somers. It's a young Suzanne Somers. Her first role ever. And my kids who,

you know, look, a lot of these older movies, this was made in 1973, are not, they don't have the fast pace that movies have today. And I always worry that they're not going to go for the ride. They fucking loved it.

And the music. Wolfman Jack, who I grew up as a young teen, when I was like 10, 11, 12, that's how I was exposed to rock and roll, through Wolfman Jack, late at night on WNBC in New York. And he's in and out of it. He's sort of like, there's a sound.

That's the other beautiful thing about the film is they play about 25 of the biggest hits of the 50s. And Wolfman Jack is introducing each song. And they don't play the song. They listen to it in the movie. All the characters are hearing the soundtrack as you are. It's playing on their car radio. It's playing in the sock hop. It's it's it's it's amazing. We'll get to it in obituaries. But was there any Little Richard? Yes, there was Little Richard. You know, Wolfman Jack just got a

shout out in a Bob Dylan song. You know, one of those new Bob Dylan songs. Apparently there's a third one now. Oh, wow. Yeah, because the two, I'm like, listen, I love Bob Dylan. Not blindly. I hated so much of his stuff in the before the mid 90s. I mean, you know, from the 80s and before modern love. Exactly. Well, actually, before he did two cover albums and that's when he found his like old man

voice. Yeah. And yeah, I i gave you those those those are unbelievable it plays blind willie mctell and all that stuff but anyway um the two songs that i've heard are just 117 minutes about the jfk assassination yeah and they're just rambling and amazing and there's no chorus it just keeps going and then the last half, what's really interesting, though, even if you're not a Bob Dylan fan, go to that 17-minute song. Go to, I don't know, the 11-minute mark. And then what it is is it's just shout-outs. And it's the most eclectic, great, and that's where Wolfman Jack comes up.

And it's like, go listen to this. Go listen to, you know, Miles Davis. Go listen to Oscar Piazza. Go read this. And that's where Wolfman Jack comes up. And it's like, go listen to this. Go listen to, you know, Miles Davis. Go listen to Oscar. Go read this. Do that. Like and it's all these obviously influences on him. But it's a it's an amazing list. No. And I thought when I listened to it, some somebody who's got the time is going to make a playlist of the shout outs and put it on Spotify. That would be insane. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure it's been done. All right. Anything else in entertainment? Entertainment.

No, because we've moved Little Richard down to the obits. All right. Well, let's go right into that. Let's do the obits now and then we'll do the other stuff after. Okay, sure. I don't hear a newspaper. There we go. The production,

bring out your dad, bring out your dad. Um, so yeah, the little Richard story, it's, you know, it's wonderful to see all the props he's getting.

Like, did you read any of the, the love he's getting on Twitter? Yeah. Oh yeah. It's pretty amazing. Like everyone's talking about, like, you know, he had called himself, which was so great. The architect, you know, of rock and

roll, but it's really amazing how flamboyant he was. And he reminds me so much of Prince and, you know, that he and Prince, you know, knew each other and, uh, and, you know, he would go to say, I wore purple before you. And, you know, he'd had. And and, you know, he would go to say, I wore purple before you. And, you know, he'd had the giant pompadour. And it's it's amazing how similar it is. Like it's occurring to me now how much Prince took out of his playbook, you know, and never mind Freddie Mercury. So one of the this is one of the best Twitter shout outs I came across, which is Vernon Reed, who's considered, you know, one of the one of the top 50 guitarists, I guess, on those lists. But he was the guitarist for Living Color. And his tweet just simply said,

No Jimmy, no Beatles, no Bowie, no Bolin, no Glam. Did he mean Bowie? No Glam, no Freddie, no Prince, no Elton, no Preston, no Sly, no Stevie without Little Richard. They don't happen, all caps, without him blazing a trail in the dark in sequence. If he had his shirt on, oh, in sequence, he probably meant if he had his shirt on at all at the piano screaming like a white woman. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And don't forget who his guitarist was. Jimi Hendrix. Jimi fucking Hendrix, who famously left the band because he showed up one day with a flowery Paisley shirt on and Little Richard went, he had band uniforms.

He had standard shirts that they were supposed to wear. And he goes, I'm the star. I'm the front man. You wear the dull shirt. I wear the cool shirt. And Hendrix put his guitar down and he walked off.

He goes, fuck you. I'm Jimi Hendrix. And he went on from there. Amazing. So here was Bob Dylan's. On Twitter, I just heard the news about Little Richard and I'm so grieved. He was my shining star and guiding light back when I was only a little boy. His was the original spirit that moved me to do everything I would do. And get this in Bobby Zimmerman's yearbook in Minnesota, that's Bob Dylan. It was the question in the yearbook. The prompt was, um was your, what was it called?

Sorry. Oh, your life's ambition, Bobby Zimmerman, to join Little Richard. Wow. Yeah. And he was there. I mean, when the Beatles were still in Hamburg, Little Richard was starting to tour Europe and the Beatles were opening for Little Richard and he taught Paul McCartney how to fucking scream.

Paul McCartney is giving huge shout outs to him today. He said everything he learned about how to sing rock and roll he learned from Little Richard. He had the Stones open for him when he traveled around Europe. And the Stones talked about

how much they learned from him. Oh, Mick Jagger went on and on about he would sit in the wings and study his moves, just like he did with Tina Turner. Yeah. And he was just mesmerized. David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, you know, everybody was affected by this guy. Yeah. He really just came out balls to the walls, wrote most of that first album when he was a dishwasher at the bus stop, the bus depot in Macon, Georgia.

Yeah. And just came out blazing. And speaking of coming out, he kind of came out and then went back in again because he became a born again. But I wish I was gay. I wish I was a flaming homosexual trying to hide it because there's an energy that comes out of that. I mean, like, look at Freddie Mercury. There's like there's something explosive about sitting on a big, raw sexual urge. And you're kind of saying, fuck you to people when you put on the purple shirt and you scream like a lady and all that shit. It's really it's kind of powerful. And he wears makeup. Yeah.

And Elton John came out today and basically said there's just I definitely I would not have happened. It's that simple. Right. Now, I was cranking. I was sitting in my yard today and I was cranking some Little Richard and some people were walking outside my fence and they all started clapping. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. One guy, and I'm going to slaughter this, but it was someone on Twitter. You could look it up. It was very interesting what they said. They remember they were like 10 years old or something and seeing him.

And it occurred to them it was the first time they saw someone who was not like anyone else. Yeah. And which meant so much that that can actually be done. That that can actually exist. Right. All you're feeling at that age is the pressure to be like everyone else. Yeah. So it's very interesting. Yeah. Those are the ones that, you know, you think of Kurt Cobain and you think of David Bowie and Lou Reed, people that really you kind of stop and your jaw goes down and you can't extricate yourself emotionally from what's going on on stage or through the radio. Because it is, it's different than anything you've ever heard before. And it expands how you view the world and what you think is possible for yourself. Totally.

And I think this podcast does that for a lot of people. That's what I'm thinking. I was thinking the same exact thing. You're in the closet. You know, I think there's a power coming from that. Look at me. How different is this? Holy shit. I see a purple shirt hanging behind you. Actually, you're so fucking preppy. There's nothing in there but muted colors. Tans and mauves and browns.

I make sure I position it so you see the guy stuff. Here's all my gowns. I got my Hendrix poster back there, my Springsteen poster. Agrobody. All right, let's go to another section. It's time to do, let's do a little bit of business. Business news, here we go. This will hit your dad hard.

The makeup industry is dying on the vine. Nobody's wearing makeup. No perfume. And they're saying that, obviously, with a mask on, who's going to put on fucking lip gloss? And Little Richard just died. But at what point do I explain to the listeners that my dad doesn't wear makeup?

He worked in the cosmetics industry. He was the senior vice president at Estee Lauder. So, yeah, that's so I thought makeup. Why? Why aren't I? Because they're not going out. I don't know. They're not going out. How about this, honey? Sweetheart, I'm fucking home. Put on your face.

Pretend it's the 50s. Pretend when I come home from work work you're waiting for me in a cocktail dress with full makeup and a martini what happened to those fucking days yes how do you like my lipstick uh you're wearing a mask i could see the stains make up the mask you got the makeup right the fucking rouge on the outside let's do some uh uh what's that japanese thing they do blackface no they do uh kabuki blackface kabuki let's do some kabuki yeah by the way i almost said the other word that's close to it i see black people i see white people wearing black masks and i go how far is that from blackface? Is this them finally getting to do it, but nobody knows who they are?

You should run up and ask them right in their face. Is that whiteface? Ask the guy who put you in a headlock. Hey, I like your whiteface. Unemployment is way up. Yes. We lost 20 million jobs last month, and now the rate is 14.7. I'm actually shocked.

Unemployment is only 14.7%. Same, except that is the highest since the Great Depression. Yeah. But, no, you're right. And then I looked at this guy from J. Yeah. But no, you're right. And then I looked, this guy from JP Morgan said, to get back near 3.5% unemployment, you're talking 10 plus years with any kind of rational modeling. Whoa, no shit. One of the things that's going to happen is jobs are going to disappear and not come back.

Yeah. So they're saying that. But then I read this article about jobs that are hiring. So here are the jobs that are hiring. You got let me go up here. One of them you're going to like. So they talk about companies specifically. There's Instacart. There's a lot of food delivery services, obviously. Then there's Pizza Hut, 7-Eleven, Papa John's, Chipotle, GoPuff is a delivery, FedEx, which is not food delivery,

but delivery, cheap stores. It's very bleak, like who's hiring, and it's so telling. You mean shitty jobs. Well, no, but also like Dollar Tree, Dollar General.

These are like dollar stores, which is what people can afford. There's Netflix. There's all the entertainment for staying at home. Security services, of course, are hiring. It's a very dystopian sort of picture that they're painting. Education. There's also showing that there's a big disparity between the rate for people of color, that it's quite a bit higher for Latino and African-Americans right now and women.

So good news. Good news for us. Then you'll see General Motors. I can get that job at Chipotle. Then you'll see General Motors. You're like, oh, well, that's good. It's like, no, they're building ventilators. That's why they need to hire people. Right, right.

And then financial services, Fidelity Investments is looking to add 2,000 full-time employees, probably to hold people's hands as they go into bankruptcy is what I'm guessing. Maybe. And I think maybe also people need help with these ppp loans all these uh small business administration uh paperwork maybe i don't know and then lyft lyft is hiring and then lyft um new rules for lyft and uber did you hear that what's that let's see here they said thursday it will soon require drivers and riders to wear face masks or coverings when using its platform. The certification, which will appear in the app, will require that drivers and riders agree to wear a face covering,

not to use the service if they think they may have the virus or related symptoms, and follow the guidelines from the CDC. symptoms and follow the guidelines from the CDC. And this includes that they will leave the windows open when possible to avoid recirculated air. Also gets the pot smoke out. Those fuck. I can't tell you how many times I've been picked up by an Uber driver and I can smell fresh weed in the car and they got the fucking dream catcher and a tie dye shirt. It's like, dude, your lifestyle doesn't really go with driving other people for a living.

You know, the first few times that happened, I'm like, wow, this driver lets these guys smoke pot in his car. No. Yeah. Right. He's baked. Totally. That's right. And I wish I didn't come to that realization. I wish I just kept thinking everyone but him is smoking in the car. Right, right. And then finally, now that's enough business. Business isn't fun. Sure. It's all a bummer right now.

Let's do some sports, Mike. All right. All right. Oh. Ladies, sing it. We will, we will rock you. Change the section. Sports. Yes, there's some sports stories, believe it or not.

Where is my sports section? Hold on. Okay. I'll start you with one. Alex Morgan, who is the star female soccer player in the U.S. women's national team, has had a baby for herself. She got herself pregnant and had a baby for herself. She got all, got herself pregnant and had a baby and with the, with a fee of, with a male player,

Servando Carrasco is a big star in the LA galaxy. Huh? So she's already complaining that she's getting less gifts than the male players when they have babies. And the male soccer time gets more time. The male soccer player gets more time off for the baby than she does? That's right. Yeah, and the baby's a little bit slower. But Iditarod, how do you say it?

Iditarod? The Iditarod race. Of course. The big the big race up in Alaska. One of the champions is was disqualified this year because did a drug test, found a little meth, little touch of meth in his bloodstream. I thought if he was tested, he'd be the only one to come back in Alaska without meth in his bloodstream. This is Alaska. Right. It's like a three-week, you're on the back of a fucking sled watching animals die while they pull your equipment through the woods.

Also, you're a dog sledder. Like, aren't you on drugs? And by the way, who cares? Shouldn't they be testing the dogs? I thought this was an athletic competition, and they're going to test the athletes. Right. Right.

Not the guy. If you're going to test a crew team, I don't worry about the coxswain. The guy who's yelling at them to row, he's fine. He can be high. He's whipping dogs in the middle of the night going through the Alaska, like, you know, tundra, whatever. Like, of course he's on drugs in the middle of the night going through the Alaska, like, you know, tundra, whatever, like,

of course he's on drugs. Jesus Christ. Um, UFC, uh, has a, had a fight. I mean,

we're recording this on Saturday. Tonight, there is a UFC fight. Um, so they're going to stage their first American sporting event nearly two months in nearly two months. Um, there's a couple of angles to this story. First of all, staged their first American sporting event in nearly two months. There's a couple of angles to this story.

First of all, even as the virus spread rapidly, they did not want to shut down, and they pressed forward with plans to hold it on April 18th in Brooklyn. New York State then, the Athletic Commission, refused to approve the event, and UFC clung to its state while scouting new locations. And guess where they found a location willing to have the fight? Florida.

You got it. Governor Ron DeSantis declared pro sports an essential industry. Yeah. That's even during the stay-at-home order. So the UFC fight is in jacksonville and guess what a fighter yesterday was tested and has the virus so his fight is not happening wow but the other 11 are so we'll see what happens in jacksonville when this ufc fight happens i guess they figure there's so many fights breaking out in florida They might as well make some money off one of them. I like that. I mean, I I'm on TikTok

and all I'm seeing is people in Florida fighting. It's just, it's a lot of rednecks and, uh, you, you know, let me talk about TikTok for a second. If, if you like the, if you like seeing the dark side of the human experience and you want to see rednecks trying to cross a river in a Jeep, like literally driving as fast as they can over a lake and trying to make it to 40 feet. I saw that video. Yeah. And then they fucking sink and everybody cheers. It's fucking amazing.

You get like guys skateboarding and landing on their heads. I saw one today of an 18 wheeler falling over sideways. The top opens and a dozen cows spill out. I mean, show me a fucking TV series to give me that 15 seconds at a time of just neurological blasts of pleasure. I love it. Yeah, That's an elaborate staging. Hey, let's do a TikTok. You ready? You pin the wheel to the left, flip over your 18-wheeler,

and what do you think should come out? Like a bunch of styrofoam? How about cattle? Yeah, cattle look funny when they roll. Yeah. Okay, we'll do it. Yeah. That's why there's a meat

shortage. Well, the great thing is there's so many security cameras now. They capture all this shit. Nobody has to be filming. That is true. It's kind of like the dash cams in Russia catch everyone who's hit by a car. And all the road rage.

It catches all the road rage also. So another sports story is the NFL announced their season. Oh, boy. Yep. It begins September 10th with the Super Bowl on February 7th, I believe. Yes. And there's a lot of interesting things. You know, the Rams and the Chargers are in their new $7 billion stadium,

wherever the hell it is. Englewood. I don't know who's going to go to that, but that's their house. And, of course, the Raiders are starting in their new home in Las Vegas. That's right. I don't know who's going to attend that Petri dish. I mean, Raiders games, you'd catch things anyway without the virus. So now you're going to add a deadly virus to the mix?

Yeah, right. You want to stay six feet away from people there because if you bump into somebody, they will stab you in the chest. Raider Nation was always something to avoid, so I don't know how it's going to improve now. But this is interesting. If they do have to push back the season, it would then start possibly on october

15th and that would push the super bowl back to february 28th the same sunday as the oscars so that's a story which would you watch well what they're saying well i guess is what i'm saying but they're they're like the oscars would not fare well. The Oscars had its lowest rated broadcast ever last year. I think the NFL should just be like, wait, what? Oh, do you mean the movie awards? The 10th movie award show in that two-month

period? They should just be like, sorry, do what you want, but that's where the Super Bowl is going to be, and the Oscars would totally move. The Oscars has been as late as April before. And it used to be only in March. And they've moved it up to February only recently. Yeah. And they don't have a host anymore. That's why nobody watches it. People used to tune in because fucking, you know, Chris Rock was going to be up there.

You know, Johnny Carson. And there's such pussies. Oh, I've worked on two of the Oscars, so I know the drill, but it does not have to be in February at all. But what has to be anywhere now? The Super Bowl doesn't have to be in February. Also, should they really have the Oscars in Black History Month

when they don't give awards to any black people? It's already such a... They've already been given the shortest month, and now you're going to put a big white award show in one of the days right the coldest shittiest shortest month and we're going to and we're going to throw the Oscars in your face

during it I used to have that joke that the history whatever the history of the black history month was originally it was a whites only celebration first it was a whites only celebration. First, it was a weekend and only whites could celebrate it. Listening to listening to music.

The soundtrack is all Elvis Presley covering a fucking Little Richard song. Yeah. And Pat, Pat Boone doing Little Richard. Actually, they talked about that. Right. All right. I think that's sports. That's all we got for sports. Beautiful. I think we should do a little bit of, let's do some letters.

You guys have sent in so many nice emails. Yeah. Let's hit the mailbox. That's what a mailbox sounds like i guess by the way i will i will say up front a lot of people have written me i brought up silence the lambs last week i don't think we have time this week but i thought i gave enough information last week for my theory which i don't think is a theory and by that i mean i think it's a fact that they obviously made the movie with this in mind and that's the writing of it. So I can kind of say it's fact if I'm right. But I would just say, I'll give you another week to watch it, I guess, for anyone,

because I don't want to spoil it. But listen, why does the movie have such power? I would just say that. And why is it called? The title is Silence of the Lambs, basically, which is a small part of this movie. It's not even a B story. And the poster is no lambs at all. The one who's being silenced is Clarice. And so another question you should ask yourself, why is the most brilliant psychiatrist? We're led to believe the most brilliant psychiatrist in the world. Why is he so fascinated with Clarice and her story from childhood? Why? It's not a fascinating story and certainly shouldn't be the title of the movie.

But Hannibal knows something about it and he knows that he the title of the movie. But Hannibal knows something about it, and he knows that he's reading between the lines. So I'll just say that. All right. Okay. Go watch it again, everybody. And next week, I guess I'll unload the whole theory. All right.

This first letter, I love this one. And this gentleman has said, the last line is in caps, please don't use my name or email. Dear Greg and Mike, I've been married to my wife now for 10 years. My mother-in-law is a super hot Japanese ex-stripper who recently moved out of state and left a large storage unit filled with irreplaceable family heirlooms from Japan for my wife and I to pay for.

After over a year of paying for the unit, my wife decided to go through the unit and keep the heirlooms and sell the rest. While cleaning it up, I found a black box with three VHS tapes inside. The next day, I took one of the tapes with me to work because I didn't have a VHS. And when nobody was around, I popped it in. On the screen was my mother-in-law, completely nude, riding a guy who looked like Hager the Horrible reverse cowgirl. The woman is an animal.

Deep throat, anal, rimming, ass to mouth. There was nothing she didn't do on these tapes. Oh, my God. My question is for you, am I a terrible person if I keep these tapes? And I replied, I said, dude, if you get rid of those tapes, I will hunt you down and strangle you. Does she have another storage unit? That's actually the name of one of her porn movies, her storage unit. So, I mean, not only did it,

taped it, and then preserved the tapes. Yes. Wow. I think the first thing you do is you try to get your Japanese wife, who's got to be at least somewhat hot, to let her go scene by scene with her mom. That's your mission in life.

Wait, do what? Wait, what? Put the tape on and get your fucking wife to replicate the movie, shot by shot, scene by scene. Well, okay, so this information, I mean, this is a marriage destroyer if this gets out, right? Why? No, that he feels it's so hot. Oh, I see what you're saying. He's got to downplay how he feels it's so hot oh i see what you're saying he's got a downplay how he feels about it like oh my god look look at it look at look at it no no look at it again

yeah i mean my yeah my mother-in-law my mother-in-law is very full full-breasted and she was uh she got up one morning with no bra and she was unloading the dishwasher and she bent over and I saw down her shirt. And I remember going, hmm. I think you might have been more turned on by a woman just doing the chores in the house. Huh. Look at look at her. That's how I like them. This. Well, it's also a view to the future. You're seeing what your wife is going to look like in the future. And if your mother-in-law is hot, then you feel good about it.

And yes, still at the dishwasher. Now, wait a minute. This is amazing. Yeah. All right. I don't think the real question is can he keep them. I guess he will. And then and then he dies with that secret. You mean as opposed to showing it to his wife?

As opposed to telling anyone except two clowns who have a podcast. And now we're telling everybody. Well, first of all, what's it like the next visit with that mom? Yeah, right. I mean, oh, my God. Say,, do you want to go to the ATM machine? And by ATM, I mean, you know, in porn that's ass to mouth, right? I kind of do know that. Um, so can he anonymously put them on, uh, on Pornhub or YouTube? Oh, how much would our listeners pay to fucking watch that? It's time to monetize this podcast.

This might be our way in. He just has to put something we could search and find it. He can't tell us he did it because we want to, we want him totally a plausible deniability, but maybe storage. I don't know. Yeah. All I know is I want updates from this guy. I want to know over the next few years what happens. And, you know, you know, his wife's a freak. If his mother did that, if her mother did that, you know, she's up for a little ATM, a little rimming, some haggard car cowgirls.

Well, you know, porn, they say, is really hurting, you know, sex lives. Guys, they're saying like teenagers, high school and college guys are just emulating what they see. They're also having trouble getting turned on because they've been raised for years before they ever touched a real woman to sex and porn. Yeah. This elevated level of not only looks, but of everything they're seeing, all the acts. And now this guy has, by his own admission, incredibly hot porn of his wife's mom.

That's in his head. I mean, isn't that a whole category in porn? Oh no, it's stepmom. No, it's also mom. Other comedians but mother-in-law is also moms no no other comedians have been talking about it i remember being at the comedy store and that night i thought it was interesting two comics unrelated an hour apart were like basically had the same kind of you know insight which was who told porn hub that all we want is incest videos?

Yeah. Like, that's not the reality. Like, what is going on? It's all stepsisters, stepmom, but also mom and son. Tons of it. Really? Yeah. Damn.

That is fucking weird, isn't it? It's very, very weird. I guess everybody's, I guess once you get sort of like calloused to normal porn, like I know, I found my one kind of porn and I'm good. Japanese, hidden camera, lesbian massage. You don't have to share the details. But I'm just saying, for the last three years, I've never watched anything else. And it's like, you got to find your thing. But if you don't, then you just keep going deeper down a rabbit hole. your thing. But if you don't, then you just keep going deeper down a rabbit hole. You keep having to go to the point where you get to the most forbidden fruit, which is incest. Or murder.

Right. That sadly, I can honestly say I've never seen that on this dark web or whatever. A snuff movie. Whatever they are whatever they are yeah but no that is that that's bottom for a lot of people yeah i mean i think they have to be into that sort of thing which you know they've they've been something has programmed them to like that yeah but it's a it's a thing sadly um mo my porn search words are respectful uh backstory. And then I turn it off when the clothes start coming off. I just want to see the romance. I think there is a film called Backstory. Yeah, by the way, if I did Backstory, if that was a search word, I would not get romance. Oh, you want some backstories? Here they come. You'd get this guy's mother-in-law.

That's an amazing letter. All right, here's another one. This is, hey guys, love the show. My girlfriend of eight years and I were chatting and realized we have no idea how our parents got engaged. Do you or Mike know how your parents popped the question? We called our parents and asked them. The conversation was hilarious and surprising. Give them a ring.

I could call my mom right now and ask her because I honestly have no idea how my dad popped the question. Do you? No, and then call my mom. No, I have no idea. Really? No. Well, they were married for four years.

Maybe. Maybe three and a half. That's it? Yeah. All right. So I don't know if you can hear this. I'm going to unplug this so you can hear this. I said she got her Mother's Day flowers early.

She just called me. So she should be in a good mood and open to telling me things. Of course, Florida, so she's out. Yeah, of course. She's at the water park. The person you have dialed can't take your call. Yes, she can. Try it again.

I'm sure she's fumbling for it in a golf bag, in a bar. No, she's the worst with the phone. She may be golfing. My mom golfs like four days a week. It's late there, but... I know... I don't know how romantic... I shouldn't tell this story on the air.

But there were extenuating circumstances. Let's just leave it at that. With your parents? Yeah. Okay. So you have no idea. Do you know how they met? Well, they both grew up in the same neighborhood in the Bronx.

Yeah. Which was actually very close. I think—oh, no, they were in the South Bronx. I mean, you have to understand there weren't times where I'm with my single depressed mom in our shitty little apartment being like, how did you and dad meet? That doesn't come up. How did this nightmare begin? Hey, before dad picks me up next Friday, how do you guys meet? Give me the creation myth of this big pile of sadness I'm living in right now. Remember the promises and the vows?

So how did all that, how did they start? I know how they ended. Now, when you tell me to keep my word, is that a family tradition, sticking to promises? Now, commitment issues. I know I'm a little young to be asking about that. Will I have any? Oh, God. Yeah.

Let's get to, we do a thing now where there's an etiquette column here on Sunday Papers where I go through, I can't remember which newspaper I get this from, but people write in with questions about etiquette. Mm-hmm. My character is spit, spot, spick, and spack. I'm practically perfect in every way. Here's one. Recently I hosted some people at my home who happened to be obese. One man sat on a delicate chair which splintered. I'm sorry I'm laughing.

I fucking love fat people. Another lady sat on the couch and could not get up without assistance. How do I accommodate larger guests in the future? Do I ask thinner guests to avoid sturdy seats so heavier folks can use them? Should I speak with obese guests before they arrive and ask what they would prefer to sit on? Should I put away tiny, fragile furniture? Okay, can I tell a real story? I know the one you're going to tell, and I welcome it.

So after I worked on The Ellen DeGeneres show, Ellen and I got along creatively very well and she hired me to write on the Oscars. So that's what I referred to earlier. So we're writing on the Oscars and the Oscars have two groups of writers almost every time. The host writers and then the show's writers who are writing all, which is a very hard job actually, that banter, which you've done. It's like impossible to come up with a new angle. And banter is when the two presenters come out like we're, you know, giving the award for best editing. And they're very hard to do.

So anyway, Bruce Valanche is the most famous banter writer of all time. He is this giant human being. He's very overweight and he has red hair. There's even been a documentary about him called Get Bruce. So he's in the show's writers. I'm up at Ellen's house. We would meet every Sunday at our house. So they're like, hey, they're bringing up the board for us to see the Oscars and where all of our bits are going to fall into place in the show. We can see the outline of the show and they hear Bruce is coming up. And Ellen was like, OK, so Bruce Valange comes up. Ellen, describe describe Ellen's house briefly. Ellen's house. She is very much bitten by the real estate bug. I remember one Monday

she had bought three homes over the weekend. Now, in fairness, one was an apartment for her mom, but she would put bids on places and then she flips homes and she owns and has owned a lot of homes, fills it with designer furniture and antiques and and then sells them. And she's done that on her show. I'm not disclosing anything that people don't know. So she has these really delicate chairs like this person in this letter and Bruce Valanche comes up and Bruce is the size of two people, two kind of large people actually. And so we are all sitting on the couches and everything around the coffee table. And then there's a chair over there, which is clearly an antique and he starts walking towards it.

And Ellen looks like a dog who's heard something in the yard. Like she props up and is all ears and eyes and is hoping on his walk over to this chair that he doesn't like it occurs to him. This will not hold me, but he doesn't. He grabs it and starts bringing it over. And she's like, and we're all like, because it is completely going to collapse to the floor. Like this is, I am not criticizing Ellen here. And Ellen goes, you know what, Bruce? And then she truthfully says, you know what? That that's actually an antique that, uh, is not meant for sitting. And Bruce is like, so this chair is not meant for sitting. She's like, that's right. And so he goes, okay. He puts it away. He now crosses to the kitchen Island, which has these stools, but they're very delicate.

But here's the problem. While they are delicate and they will not hold him no matter what people do sit on them. So now he goes towards that one. And now I couldn't be more interested. Now I'm sitting up like a dog who's on high alert, watching Ellen, who's on even higher alert. And I am watching Ellen's wheels turn because Ellen has to think about how to frame this particular chair, which is for sitting.

And she's like, um, uh, and she just goes, um, she's like Bruce. And he goes, let me guess. These chairs aren't for sitting. And she's like, um, uh, and she just goes, um, she's like Bruce. And he goes, let me guess. These chairs aren't for sitting either. Swear to God. And she goes, she goes, right. They, they aren't, they're really just for show. And then she tries to spin a tale

about how human beings don't sit in those chairs and that they're really just, that's where I put the papers. I put, you know, my bag down when I come in those chairs and that they're really just, that's where I put the papers. I put my bag down when I come in the kitchen and my groceries. And he's like, got it, got it. And then he goes, he walks over, swearing to Bruce's credit, and he points at the fireplace hearth, which is a giant slab of granite. And he's like, what about this, Ellen? Will this hold me?

of granite and he's like what about this ellen will this hold me and he sits down on the hearth finally putting all of us out of our misery by the way we could ask karen kilgariff she was there she was the head writer there might have been a third chair or he or there were two in the second wave yeah the chairs that were on the island and then another chair. And he pointed to a bunch. Oh, like the three little bears. The three little fat bears. Oh, that's fucking great. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. It was terrible.

Ugh. Hold on. My mom just called. That story could have been interrupted. Get her on the phone. No. Here we go. My mom is like, hey, mom, it's Greg. You're on the podcast. Oh, my. You really shouldn't do this to me. It's it's almost Mother's Day. I wanted to wish you a happy Mother's Day officially on the podcast.

It is happy. Oh, thank you. And you sent me the most beautiful roses with aroma. Most roses don't have this sweet smell anymore, but these do. They're wonderful. Well, I think they use really good shit at that particular rose garden. That's the key. They must.

You think it's cow or donkey? I think it's donkey. Yeah. They say the donkey gives the best aroma. So we had Mike Gibbons is here on the podcast with me. He says hello. Not in person. Tell her.

Yeah, not in person. Hello. Say hello. Big hello. We're in two different places. But we have listener mail. People email us with questions. And one of the questions was, and I realize I didn't know this, is tell us about the moment that your husband proposed to you.

And I never heard that story. Was there a bended knee? No, it was long distance. Oh, it was? Yeah, I was traveling in Europe because he didn't want to get married. Oh. So I said, well, then forget it. So I went to Europe on $5 a day with my friends. And he called me and said he missed me too much.

So he proposed. I was in Germany at that point. Wow. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were in Germany, and this would have been in 1965, I guess. Four. 64. Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. That's beautiful. Yeah, it was wonderful. Yeah. So there's the lesson to anybody out there that wants to get married and somebody's got cold feet is just go far away. Oh, just say it's over. Yeah. No problem. Oh, just say it's over. Yeah.

No problem. Right, right. All right. And we got married in Ireland. Oh, I know. The most beautiful. My parents were both, your grandparents were both born in Ireland, and they had never been back.

And that was the first time in 36 years they had ever gone gone and seen their sisters and brothers yeah and tell the story about when they saw each other after not having seen each other for so long oh my uh my mother's sister and brother stayed together to read to see the parents into old age. And my mother and her sister had written to each other all these years. And when they saw each other, my aunt said, tis you, Nan.

And my mother said, tis. And they both sat down and they had the news on in Gaelic, which they didn't understand. And they sat for a half hour before they actually even shook hands with each other. Wow. And she was one of how many kids? She was one of 12.

And Pop was one of 13? Yeah. Oh, my God. I have so many cousins. I have 75 first cousins. Oh, my God. I have so many cousins. Actually, I have 75 first cousins. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Yes. Well, we had to outpopulate the English.

It was a foot race. We were like sea turtles. That's great. All right, Mom. Well, thanks for the lovely story. Okay. Thanks for calling. I love you. Okay. Love you, too. Well, thanks for the lovely story. Okay. Thanks for calling. I love you.

Okay. Love you, too. Bye. Bye. There you go. I would have spoken up, but I know she can't hear me when you do that. Yeah. Hopefully her voice came through good.

No, I could hear it very well. People love her voice because she's got the greatest Bronx accent. Nice. Nice. Wow. That's quite a proposal story, actually. Yeah, I know. Well, they were very romantic. My parents right to the end were like always held hands and they got a kick out of each other.

They really like it was a it was it was very romantic. They they they were passionate about each other. It was really nice. Although the proposal was a fear-based decision, but okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I think my dad was a young DJ living in New York City. Yeah. I think he was a player.

I think things were going really well. But my mom was also beautiful. She won this citywide beauty pageant called the Rose of Tralee Pageant. And I think it was for all the Irish girls in New York City. Yeah. And, uh, and I've got this picture of her winning it. And I mean, she was gorgeous, but her boobs aren't as big as your mother-in-law's. No, they're good. She's got a good rack. Oh, nice. Greg. Good. Good for you. Good for you. I just got to get her to do some goddamn dishes in my house That's the missing ingredient

I'm not turned on at all unless you put that in the mix Maya, you want to come out and visit? Yeah, we got a couple things I'd love you to do while you're here Well, wouldn't it be the opposite? Mom, stay away from the kitchen I got it, I got it, I got it Please Oh, God I got it. I got it. Please.

Oh, God. All right. That's it on the... Etiquette. Obese thing. That was good. That was really good. All right.

We did obituaries, and it's time. We do it every week. You love it. It's the closer. It's the closer of Sunday papers. It is, of course, the Sunday comics. There it is. Sorry, I was late.

Well done, Mike. Always a beat later. I was thinking for a second, you know, Siegfried and Roy. Roy died also, but we'll talk about him next week. Oh, shit. Really? The guy who got mauled by the tiger lived this long. He outlived the tiger, by the way. The tiger died in 2014.

And he died by, how did he die? Coronavirus. No. Yeah. So maybe something else Asian, because I think it was an Asian tiger that got him the first time, and now he's wiped out by an Asian virus. I'm guessing there's not going to be any Oriental themes at the funeral. So, Hager the Horrible,

everybody loves him. He's, you know, look, look, you got to put it in context. This was a long time ago. Yeah.

These were written during the Viking times. That's what you got to, the context of Hager the Horrible is these were written while rape was not even a question. No, rape was, there was, there was good rape and bad rape. I mean, we see it in Hager the Horrible.

There's examples. First of all, he got his wife. I think last week's was when he his wife said how romantic it was when he stole her from her town. So that's positive rape. Yeah. In the well, this week's this week's is very sweet. His wife, Helda, is standing above a boiling pot with a big stick and she's stirring it. You know, the something that would turn you on, that would turn you on.

It would turn me on. And Hager walks in and he goes, I'm back from plundering the rich sultan of Persia. And she can't see him. Her back is turned. And she goes, did you get enough? And he goes, he's out of frame during this whole thing. There's never enough. And in the final frame, Helga turns around and sees that Hager has two young women with him. And she says, I'll be the judge of that.

So not only is he bringing two, we have to assume rape victims who are also his new girlfriends home with him, but he's saying it may not be enough. It may not be enough. Yeah. Before we get in a fight about this, this is just a taste of what's to come. These are girls. These are girls I've kidnapped.

They're dressed as Persians. They're dressed as like belly dancers. They're smoking hot and and they don't look happy to be there. It's kind of a feminist turn, though, where all of a sudden she's kind of putting her foot down. Yeah. That's interesting. Helga is a strong woman. I think that we're when we not strong enough to not be taken away by Hager when he first got her. But yes. Well, it wasn't just him. His men helped. I think he raped her individually, but I think the abduction probably he got some assist from his men.

They were very much team players, the Vikings. Right, and that leads to great toasts at the wedding. The guys that helped get her can really stand up there and speak from the heart. Yes. But I think Helga is strong, and I think you're seeing this is a turning point in the Viking experience where the women start to actually step up and go, I'll be the judge of that. Interesting. Meanwhile, she's not saying no.

Right. She's just saying, like, she might judge, you know what? You need more. I understand. Yeah. I get it. It's like Three's Company except Jack Tripper doesn't pretend to go to other apartments to fuck other women. This is You Love It, the family circus.

Oh, God. Do you have one? I have one. It's not that great, believe it or not. Well, let's do them both. This one has Sally, the orange-haired girl, and she's kneeling on her bed with her hands clasped and her eyes closed, and she says,

and please let Grandma know I'm saving a big hug for her soon. Where's the comedy? Where's the fucking comedy? Wait, where's the anything? Wait, read that again. And please let grandma know I'm saving a big hug for her soon. This sounds like a devil child who is telling God she's about to kill grandma. Like just giving God a heads up. Like one is coming, one's on the way, but just let her know. Yeah. And God, please let grandma know I'm saving a big

hug for her soon and help me stop the killing. Please let grandma. Wait a minute. All right. So hold on. Let's I'm not even trying to be funny. I assumed for a second grandma was in heaven. She's not taught. She's talking about grandma who's on earth. Yes. Got it. Is this a suicide note? Like, I'm coming. Hey, God, dear God, you're with grandma now? Tell her for me.

She thinks God's talking to grandma fucking down here? Tell grandma yourself, you little bitch. Pick up the phone. What is this third party? Let grandma know I'm saving a big hug for her soon? Are these supposed to be this cryptic and confusing? I think what happens is sometimes with these comic strips,

I've noticed Jeff Keen, God bless him, he ran dry. Some weeks you just don't feel fun. Some weeks you've got seven days to come up with one frame of one cartoon, and it just doesn't strike you. And so you go for the heart. You say, fuck it, I'll make this a sweet one. Throw him a little curve. But no one tells God to talk to someone else.

It's a solo endeavor, no? God, give me the strength to hug Grandma despite her smell or something like that. Yeah, right. Let me hug Grandma even though she has giant tits and it makes me feel weird when I hug her. She forgot to put her teeth in again and she's going to try to kiss me. Please help me help Grandma unload the dishwasher. Oh, my God. And a big hug sounds menacing from this

devil child. I'm going to hug grandma's neck while she's sleeping. God, please give me the strength to do that. Finally. Oh boy. What happened to Blondie? Hold on. Uh-oh. I've got to find Blondie. It's under your mattress.

Oh, I lost it. I'm going to have to go into my history and pull up Blondie. Go into the Spank Bank file. I got the horrible. Maybe it's this one. You have to hide it from your kids. We may be short of Blondie this week. Really?

Yeah, I can't. I somehow closed it. I keep them as an open tab, and I really should just get them on paper. Should we try to put it on the website maybe? Oh, wait, I found it. I found it. Here we go. All right. So Blondie is in this particular one. Blondie is sitting at her. What do you call it? Those little makeup tables that women have?

A boudoir? She's at a boudoir. She's wearing a- A vanity, I think, also. A vanity. And she is wearing, and it's like, it's right out of a fucking Paris whorehouse. It's got a purple, velvet- So you're right, it's boudoir.

Ottoman that she's sitting at and she's wearing like uh it's it's like a cherry negligee sleeveless legs crossed at the knee foot sticking out such a delicate little foot her ankle and foot are michelangelo can't capture this and she's working on her face. She's putting on her face. This is a big night. Cut to fucking dummy sitting on his blue ottoman with his feet up, and he's on his armchair with his feet up watching TV. She comes down.

Now she's got on a black cocktail dress, high heels, yellow hair in the air. She has fucking teased it, blow-dried it, moosed it. She says, Dagwood, haven't you started getting ready for the Smackwell's party? This piece of shit, this six. She's a 10, and he's a six. And he goes, I'm really not in the mood to go this year, honey.

This year, this is an annual event. This isn't like, hey, we got invited over for a barbecue. Should we go or shouldn't we go? This is something she works all fucking day feeding and cleaning. And she says, but they invite us every year and we always go. And he says, and every year we go, but this year. And then she just walks away sad. And then he has a thought bubble where he says, maybe she's right.

It's only once a year and we always go. So he comes upstairs. Next frame, he's in a tuxedo. But now she's in a house coat. She's gotten undone. And she goes, oh, you changed your mind? And she says, it won't take me long to get ready again. Now, he has fucked her.

Imagine the emotional roller coaster blondie this fucking girl she could be a star and instead she's serving this this fucking zero and so he has the he has the balls to make her change she feels like shit she goes it won't take me long to get ready and now he sits on the stairs and goes, well, this is certainly a revolting development. Revolting? Revolting development. This is confusing also. I just want Hager to bust in there and rape her.

That's what I was. I was. Well, I don't know, rape her. But I want a real man to show up. You know, we talked about this, Greg, positive rape. Clearly, I don't want it to be a violent act. Not all. You said it.

Some of it's romantic rape in the Viking way. I was thinking Bluto from Popeye. More of that kind of a character where he wouldn't rape her. But you have no fucking choice. You have to stay with him. Speaking of old school violent rape, I wouldn't mind her but you have no fucking choice you have to stay with him speaking of old school violent rape i wouldn't mind him busting in and raping dagwood yes that if somebody is a cartoon artist and you can if you could throw a few frames together of a of an ass rape and an ass to mouth on dagwood from ha No, don't ask for that. That's a little brutal, no?

You should see. People send me Blondie cartoons that are pornographic all the time. Yeah, but not like a prison scenario with Dagwood. I don't know. Who am I? Maybe not, but let's just say if you do send it in, it goes on the front page of our homepage of our website, which goes up in the next couple weeks. Oh, no.

All right, Mike, we've done it again. We did. It's been a long one, but we covered it. There was a lot of news this week. Yeah, I know. Not really loaded with jokes, but I'm going to work on that. I think people are getting their information from us. They don't give a shit about it.

If they want jokes, they can tune in to Fighter and the Kid. They're getting their information from us? Yes. Like your mother-in-law's boobs? God, I hope she doesn't ever listen to this. All right. I can read out three little outros. Okay.

Oh, yeah. We need an outro. Let's try these out. Do we have any business to talk about before we do it? No, we're just going to tell people that you should rate it. Go on iTunes or what do they call it? Apple Podcasts and give it a rating. Give it a comment.

Tell your friends. We're putting up two or three Instagram videos a week from the podcast. Check those out, like them, send them around. And then also I'm doing a lot of these cameos. If you want to send a message to people for a birthday, I just did a whole bunch for Mother's Day for people. Go to the cameo app and I'll send you a message. That's cool. Yeah. Okay. So our sign off, I doubt will be one of these. Do I make the crinkle sound? Yep.

Well, it's old news now. It's not bad. Okay. How about this one? You news, you lose. Nope. Okay. You ready?

This might be the one. Send flowers to Huey Lewis because we just killed the news. Yeah, there it is. And then we play some Huey Lewis on the way out. All right, Mike, have a great week. I never see you anymore except the Sunday paper. So I look forward to next week. Absolutely.

And love to the family. Yes. Same with yours. Happy Mother look forward to next week. Absolutely. And, uh, love to the family. Yes. Same with yours. Uh, happy mother's day to Aaron and hang in there. Everybody hang in there and we'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.