Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 103 2/27/22

Episode Date: February 27, 2022

We wrap our feeble heads around the Ukraine invasion and the history of the Molotov cocktail. 2 sets of identical twins marry each other, a cheerleader in FL kills 3 hookers and in a thrilling finale Gibbs walks us through his WORDLE solution from Friday.  

30 years without drinking, cause you gotta stay clear to get what Micah's thinking. Micah's job is just as tough, sit around and figure out when enough is enough. Sunday, Sunday. Registered, I saw it. I'm gonna go 3, 2, 1. There's that. Now I have to plug in the headphones. Plug in the headphones. You have your settings correct, unlike the last six weeks running? Was my settings wrong?

I don't know. Sometimes you forget to plug in the headphones. Oh, okay. I got it. Headphones are in. All right. You want to start screaming before I plug this in? Read all about it. Read all about it. Headphones are in. All right. You want to start screaming before I plug this in? Read all about it! Read all about it!

Ukraine, we suddenly are in a world war, possibly. We'll talk about it. You heard it here first. Suddenly, possibly in a world war. What do you think? Are we going to be in a world war? Is this going to escalate? I don't know. My friend, you know, Dickie, he wrote, he's like, I just keep thinking about Norm's line. Like, and who did they declare war on? The world. Right.

About Germany. Yeah, Germany. Germany's been a little disappointing from what I'm hearing. But again, don't trust me as a news person. What are you talking about? They canceled a $50 billion deal for an oil pipeline into Germany. No, but I'm talking about strength, military strength and all that. Well, I guess it's our military there, which a lot of critics have said,

like, get out of those countries and move them further east. All I know is I got an 18 year old son, and if there's a draft, that motherfucker's going because we did World War Two. Those guys became men. They came back from Europe and they went to they went to college and they bought houses on the GI Bill and they raised families and they never talked about it. And that's going to be my son.

No, it definitely worked out very well for the survivors. Sorry to introduce that element into the equation. Well, you know. By the way, and I'm sticking to my guns on that, if you so to speak, it will be hysterical to watch this culture of entitlement get drafted. What? Yeah, I know.

Wait a minute. That's, listen, if you don't mind, that's not really my best self. So I don't think I'm going to go. What's in it for me? Yeah. Why is he it for me? Yeah. Why is he yelling at me? Why is he yelling?

I will march, but you don't need to yell at me. I think you're asking the wrong person. Like, I wouldn't even wear a mask when you asked me to. You think I'm going to go over there? Yeah. I can't go over there. I'm not vaccinated. I refuse to get vaccinated.

Yeah. No way, man. You're taking away my freedom to say no. You know, this is the government once again telling me what to do. Yeah. Sorry. I am almost done with my anthropology major. You need me in this country. That's my son's new thing, anthropology.

Oh, wow. Yeah, it's the study of how to live off your father's income for the rest of your life. You know, I got accepted into Boulder because I applied to the anthropology program. Really? Keep in mind, there was no internet. So it was very hard for me to explore and vet how easy it was to get out of that department once I got accepted into the school. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Now, it's the same thing with sports. They say if you are a good athlete, but you don't want to play sports at the school, what you do is you work it out so they give you an academic scholarship, which they will do, to play sports instead of a sports scholarship. Because then if you stop playing the sport and your grades stay up, you keep the scholarship. But if you get in because of athletics and it's an athletic scholarship and you stop playing you lose you lose the money ah interesting yep luckily i didn't qualify for either how are you where are you look at that room isn't it nice it's a beautiful big suite it's got two giant rooms and it's really, it's in Lexington, Kentucky. Nice.

I fucking love people from Kentucky. I don't know the whole state because obviously it's a red state, but it's a blue city, Lexington. Yeah. No, they had a gay mayor. He may still be mayor. I don't know. He may still be gay.

I haven't met him yet, so I don't know. I'll tell you what my gaydar says. You met him? Oh,'t met him yet so i don't know my gate i'll tell you what my gaydar says you met him oh i met him we shot something with uh who i'm ben hoffman with wheeler well it was ben hoffman but pre wheeler walker jr and we shot a bit because ben wanted him to give him the key to the city which we knew he wouldn't so we brought a key for him and just and then kept the cameras rolling saying can you just give this to me? And don't worry, it's on a comedy show.

And when we did this whole thing and he was great. Wow. I'm going to ask Wheeler Walker jr. Uh, where you, you need a place to go get good food or good lunch. Nope. I just go to the club and then I come back to the room and I

masturbate. Do you need a good place to masturbate? If you want to mix it up, there's plenty of good places in Lexington. Ben Hoffman knows that better than anybody. the room and I masturbate. Do you need a good place to masturbate if you want to mix it up? There's plenty of good places in Lexington. Ben Hoffman knows that better than anybody. I do not. I don't really venture out a lot when I'm on the road. Like if I'm in downtown San Francisco, yeah, I'm out all day. New York City, out all day. Denver. But Lexington, Kentucky, not so much. I had the best fried chicken of my life in lexington kentucky really yeah yeah i can almost remember the name not crawfords uh oh uh would you go out

should i bother him um no i'm not going out oh man you're so pathetic am. What hotel are you in? It's a Embassy Suites Hotel. It's part of the Hilton family. Because, you know, they have that giant hotel in Lexington that's connected to Rupp Arena. And so Rupp Arena is Kentucky's giant, not giant, it's their stadium for basketball. Okay. And concerts and all that stuff. But it's it's on the campus. It's, you know, part of the university anyway. I went there and we went there. We were actually staying there. And the lobby, I'm like, this is a bit of a big I'm like, this is a bit of a big lobby for Lexington, Kentucky. He's like, no, no, no. So this is what's going on. Rupp Arena are through those doors, which are connected to the lobby and the lobby bar,

which is very big. And I commented on that also. And he goes, because you cannot drink in any NCAA games, they have figured out how all these alumni can drink. Yeah. By having the doors open to the stadium and they come in here. Uh-huh. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm here. I was in, as you know, because last week on Sunday Papers,

Doug Stanhope called me and he's starring in this movie. So they asked me to be in it. So I was in Chicago for three days this week. It was great. I came in. First of all, I get it. People think, oh, I want to be an actor. I want to be an actor.

And people go, ah, it's not going to work out. Don't follow your dream. Follow your dream. Because if you get to be an actor, life is so fucking sweet. They pick you up. They feed you whatever you want. There's always somebody there to get you coffee. Everybody's blowing smoke up your ass. they laugh at all your jokes on set you barely work it's such a great

fucking job oh my god okay it's worth it sounds like it went well for you how do you think it went for them oh they said none of my takes were usable, but I had so much coffee. And, you know, there's like there's PAs on set that are hot and they flirt with you, even though obviously it's nothing. But except them trying to get into their next job. But no, of course not. But it's still nice. It's still nice. They shouldn't populate it with that. I'm with Mike Pence now.

Just keep women away from me. Tell me about it. What? So it went well. What can you say about it? I mean, Stan Hope's one of the most real dudes out there. Well, this part was not written for him, but it's the guy that

did Meet the Parents is doing this movie. And so it's a part for a guy who's a drunken comedian who's been doing it for 30 years and is like dying of alcoholism and then he meets his son who's also decided to be a stand-up comedian.

And so I play his like buddy that he started out with and we have a few scenes. One's in a comedy club. One's in the comedy condo. And it's good. It's Doug. I mean, he's a good actor.'s in a comedy club one's in the comedy condo and um it's good it's doug i mean he's a good actor you saw did you see him in louis when he did that episode of louis i think i did he was playing a guy who's gonna kill himself oh yeah yeah yeah

and so uh he's he's very dark he's very grounded he's he's uh he's good and uh and and the director was cool About letting us tweak the lines a little bit Which makes things a lot easier And It was fucking cold as hell And I got to see my son Because my son lives in Chicago

How great is that? Took him and all his roommates out to sushi Saw the apartment Showed them some PAs I should have I should have bought the pa over oh my god listen this isn't creepy because it's not about me but uh i'm gonna bring you uh and just uh sort of expose you and reveal you to some bros i think there's no harm no foul foul there, right? No, no.

And I want to talk about my son's roommates, but I can't because I don't want to speak out of school. But I'll tell you off the air, those are good stories. Sounds like you just did. Oh, all right. Good stories. Nice. Well, good for you, man. Yeah.

And now I'm off to Omaha, Nebraska tonight. If you're hearing this today on a Sunday, Sunday night, the 27th, I will be at the waiting room in Omaha, Nebraska. The waiting room. It's a rock club. Is it? Yeah. Oh, wow. All right. That's cool. Good for you, man. What's going on with you, your kids?

Olivia. So she's been begging me to watch Euphoria. Right. So I watched season one and it's obviously not with her. No, no, no. She refuses to do that. Yeah. So but she's older now and she says she's better at that. Like we can even watch adults in a regular movie if they kiss. She actually can sustain that and stay in the room. But she's really been begging me and she's like, it's the best show on TV. But she was saying that season one when I didn't agree.

So anyway, I started watching and she's like, and she would hear me watch and she'd come out of her room and be like, wait, wait, wait, I'll watch some with you. And she's seen she's all caught up, but I'm on episode one. Anyway, through the first three episodes occasionally, and I didn't do it all at that time, but a couple of sessions watching, she'll just all of a sudden be like, get up. She just knows when the scenes are coming because, as you know, you've seen it. Incredibly gratuitous. Really graphic. I say not gratuitous enough.

Oh, God. No, it is. It is gratuitous, especially since you are depicting teenagers. That's what's really weird about it. I know. These are supposed to be 16, 17-year-old girls. I know.

In fact, there's one scene which is very violent, and a guy demands Zendaya, like, take her clothes off. I'm not going to give it. Anyway, you don't even know the reason, but it was a violent scene, and she's freaking out, and she's like, I'm in high school. And I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Is that the one where they're in the kitchen and he's a drug dealer? Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. But she doesn't take her clothes off. Is that the one where they're in the kitchen and he's a drug dealer? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. By the way, and what's her name from Baskets? But she doesn't take her clothes off. So I think there was a little spoiler because what's her name from Baskets, the comedian? Martha. Okay. So Martha's incredibly, so I see Martha.

She's amazing in it. She's so good. Well, don't spoil because this will spoil it a little, but just generally not. I will give no specifics away. But I see Martha and I pause and I go to Olivia. I'm like, oh, my God. So, you know, she's in Zach's baskets and she's a stand up. And I go, she's I go, you've met her like at Zach's, like at his kid's birthday party.

I'm like, she's exactly like that. Like, oh, hey. Oh, how are you? And Olivia's looking at me wide-eyed, and I'm like, and I think she's not believing me. I'm like, no, no. Like, it's kind of like that's her. And Olivia just looks at me,

I mean, such a grave expression on her face, and just goes, she's a monster. And I'm like, okay, I think, I think I better, I think I better buckle up because, and then there was one line and she delivered it in the Martha way. Like it was you, I think you've seen that episode. Oh, it was at the end of the kitchen scene. Yeah. She's like, okay. And I won't, I'll try not to give anything away, but she goes, okay, just know that thing you're taking, like, if I don't get that back, I will have you kidnapped and sold to very terrible people who will do unspeakable things to you.

Okay. Just know I always get my money back. Yeah. And you know who's great is Judd Apatow's daughter is in it. And thank God she's not nude at any point because Judd's a dear friend and that would be very awkward. Yeah. But I would say. I mean, I didn't think you watched any of this season. The first I'm in love with the drug dealer i and the guy who's the guy who low talks yes oh god he's my favorite character on television so pretentious no wait this will help you i start saying that olivia pauses and, have you seen interviews with him? They saw him walking on the street and they hired him. What city did he grow up in?

Cause I don't get that accent he's going for. I don't know from what my daughter tells me. They saw this fucking guy walking on the street and when he gives interviews, that's exactly how he speaks. It's like Martha. Really? All right. I knew I, the street and when he gives interviews that's exactly how he speaks it's like martha really all right i knew i i think he's a genuine character okay and angus cloud is the guy's name and he's from oakland it says that's what uh look at chris denman had some fucking coffee this morning he's doing some research baby he's on it. And all I'll tell you, man, is Euphoria has gotten confident. I mean, it

is full. That first 10 minutes of this season where the drug dealer's grandma goes into the strip club, it's full on Martin Scorsorsese with just action violence to the most incredible soundtrack yeah yeah i like the soundtrack all right well listen this isn't the entertainment section we haven't even done the top stories yet we want to give a shout out to scott cooper this week's song was fucking awesome scott nice job man very cool. And then this week's logo is amazing. Wait a minute. Yeah, family-friendly podcast. Yeah.

Is that a thing of the past? It is, right? Yeah, you're talking about wanting to see more gratuitous sex in euphoria. I think you're out of the gate. Yeah, that's not good. And then I think Kyle did this week's logo, but I can't remember. Oh, no. Give him credit.

All right. We'll just say, let me just double check. I hate to not give him credit because it's such a nice job how about this say thank you and leave it blank and then at the end of the podcast you'll say the name and poor Key will edit in your audio right there

alright I'm going to say I'll say it's Kyle Spencer unless we change it later alright so are you going to say it alright this week's is by and man does he she do a good job. And he should keep all of this, but just crudely paste in the name. By the way, I don't want to sound sexist.

We have yet to get a song from a woman. Come on, ladies. Step it up. That's not true at all. What woman sent us a song from a woman. Come on, ladies, step it up. That's not true at all. What woman sent us a song? Lisa sent one early on, and it got very high marks. That's right. That's right.

Okay, good. And then we get a lot of logos. Melanie sends us logos. Yeah, a bunch of people. All right, corrections. Let's get to it. Oh, you got a paper there, Mike? I don't.

I have a, jeez, no. I stopped. I'm paperless now. The LA Times, it was a guilt pie. I got this. There you go. That sounds good. That's good sounding legal.

What's written on this? Oh, man, notes. I don't even know what these notes are. Notes for a pitch. Stay confident. Smile. Ask them if you can wash their car. Sophie would always give me shopping lists for food.

Gluten-free plain bagels, sliced cheddar cheese, arugula, avocados, bananas, cold brew. Listen to this fucking... You think she's going to war? Gluten-free frozen waffles. Egg whites. What? Are you kidding me? Brussels sprouts.

French liquid hand soap. This is America right here. This is soft America. And don't forget to call my therapist. Yeah, totally. Does Ukraine have Wi-Fi? Do they have 5G? Now, are those mud masks?

Are those soldiers actually in the mud? Because I don't know about. Yeah. Do we work out in the mud also? Because I pay a lot of money for that. Do they have goats there for yoga? Such a Los Angeles approach to war. Russians have good baths, right?

Yeah. Wait a minute. The Russians aren't wearing masks. I thought we had rules with this war. Oh, man. All right. All right. So, correction. Conf right. All right. So, correction.

Confession, penance. This is from Stephen Blackwood, who sounds like he's a good Catholic. Confession comes before communion, the Eucharist. You had them reversed. Oh, he's right. Penance goes first because you have to be free of sin before receiving communion. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, obviously, because you're to be free of sin before receiving communion. Okay, that makes sense.

Yeah, obviously, because you're born a dirty, filthy animal before they put magic water on you. Original sin. Not like that new sin. Original sin. Yep. Adam and Eve sin. What would you do?

I mean, here you are. You're dropped down into this um what what a garden you're in a garden and you're naked with this chick who's you don't know if she's hot you've never seen another woman but you're certainly responding to her breasts and vaginae and what do you do you oh wait it's an apple. I guess the apple was a symbolism for them having sex. Can we guess? No.

They weren't supposed to eat the apple? I know they had to have sex because they were going to populate the world. No, it's tempting fruit. The apple was what instigated, oh, God, we're really going to get a lot of mail now. But, I mean, they were not supposed to eat the apple. But do you think that's a metaphor for anal sex? We went there? I don't know. Also, isn't he like, you look a lot like my rib.

Yeah, right, right. This feels a little bit incestuous. You're me. I'm going to have sex with you. I might as well just masturbate. I guess I'm going to have sex with you. I might as well just masturbate. I guess I'm going to have sex with a little part of me. Is that what's going on here? All right.

It's kind of like masturbation. What if God accidentally made Adam gay? That would be a great sitcom. Oh, and he won't even take one for the team? Nope. He tries. He tries. But he just can won't even take one for the team nope he tries he tries but he just can't get it going he's got it he's got to try harder because the only way he's going to get other dudes is by doing it i mean it's she's the gatekeeper yeah right. So this. Yeah. We all have to keep in mind she was a slut.

She's the one that tempted him. That's right. She ate from the she ate the apple first. I believe Adam was just trying to keep it on the down low. He was just, you know, he was a heart. He was tending the garden and then she just fucked everything up. And the snake was the one putting ideas in her head and the snake was the devil. So, you know, blame the snake. It's not her. I think we have about 30% of this right.

So, of this made up story. This next one is about, let me start off with age. Number one, both old. Two, getting older fast. Thank you. Nice way to start a note. All right. Now the topic.

Each of your knowledge and passion of NFL is legitimately honest and full of bullshit. Number one, Rams versus Bengals, home field Super Bowl. Number two, Tampa Bay versus Chiefs, Chiefs home field Super Bowl. All right, we said that. And then Stanford Stadium, 1984, 49ers versus Dolphins. That was the first home field Super Bowl. 40 miles south of San Francisco. Yeah, but I don't believe that was their home stadium at the time.

I think it was in their area. They didn't care it was in their area. Who wrote this? Oh, Chris Denman chiming in. Who wrote this? I don't know. I forgot to write the name down. Well, first of all, it's Bengals versus Rams,

if you're calling it a home field Super Bowl, and it's the Chiefs versus Tampa Bay, not the other way around. You put the home team second. That's right. That's right. So there's the other way around. You put the home team second. That's right. That's right. So there. There's the sports I know. And then, okay. Dates coming up, like I said, tonight in Omaha.

Next weekend, Baltimore, March 3rd through 5th, I will be at Magoobies. That is correct. Magoobies. It's called Magoobies. St. Patrick's Day show, We will not have Mike Gibbons this year. We'll be March 17th at the Hollywood Improv.

And then we got dates come up in Spokane, New Orleans, Lafayette, Louisiana, and Tacoma. Busy boy. Wow. I gotta pay the rent, baby. You gotta pay the rent. You gotta masturbate and not see any of the sites. Right.

FitzDog.com for tickets. You know, talking about sites, oh, my God. How about the site of a green lawn? Is there anything that's more inviting? Is there anything that consistently gives you a good feeling than coming back to your own home and having a green lawn. Spring's almost here. It's time to get those seeds in the ground. It's time to get the right fertilizer on top of those seeds so that you can produce the green lawn that you deserve.

Yeah, I like it. And you use, well, where we are, water is really a big currency. You use less water because your lawn is healthy without overwatering and without the chemicals and all that stuff. Well, Sunday can help you grow a beautiful lawn without the guesswork or the nasty chemicals. My lawn is not a big lawn. I live in Venice Beach. The houses are small. The lawns are small. But that doesn't matter.

I get my packages, just a pouch. I throw it on the hose. Bam, bam, bam. In no time, I am turning. And here's the great thing about it is it's all natural stuff. I have dogs, and my dogs can't eat chemical fertilizers or they could die. They use stuff like seaweed, iron, molasses, stuff that kids and pets can be around.

You said you throw your pouch on the hose. Let me just get by that. Also, they know that your soil is mostly sand. Right. That's right. They know, they have read your, you know, your soil. They know what part of the country you live in. They know where you are and what you need. Yes, you give them your address, and they figure it all out for you.

They know your climate. They know your soil. So all you got to do is visit sunday.com, put in your address, and the analysis tool does the rest. So best of all, it really works, people. And Sunday is offering our listeners 20% off. Full season plans start at just $119. That's nothing for a beautiful lawn.

And you can get 20% off when you visit getsunday.com slash papers20, the number 20, at checkout. That's 20% off your custom plan at getsunday.com slash papers20. Okay. The other thing we want to talk to you about is something that Mike and I have both benefited from, which is life insurance. If you don't have it, come on, come on. Mike- Are you waiting for me to say something? Mike waiting from me to say something well I just wanted to say that the comfort of going to bed at night when you have kids and knowing that god forbid something happens that the mortgage uh you know your loss of income is going to be taken care of for a while depending on how much you take out now I took out a one million dollar, and I know that sounds like a lot of

money, but you have to understand that after my wife is accustomed to a certain way of living, and with that failure and disappointment, there should be a payoff someday. Mine's $2 million. So look at how I valued myself. Wow. so look at how I valued myself but I always bet the under so I think there's a legitimate chance that money will get realized when I did it back then and also

I got good advice that what seems like a lot now let's say it's 15 years, 20 years down the road it's not as much right you have to factor that in as well. But it's an amazing bet. I hate to call it that.

Maybe I'm not supposed to call it that. But it's like for very little money, you are absolutely providing security. Right. And the best way to do it is Policy Genius. It's a one-stop shop to find and buy the insurance you need. It's a one-stop shop to find and buy the insurance you need. You click on the link in the description or head to PolicyGenius.com and answer a few questions. In minutes, you can compare personalized quotes from top companies to find your lowest price.

You could save 50% or more on life insurance by comparing quotes with PolicyGenius. The team of licensed experts at PolicyGenius, by the way, they're a broker. They're not the insurance company. They help you understand your options and apply for the policy you choose. The Policy Genius team works for you, not the insurance companies. You can trust them to offer unbiased help and advocate for you at every step until you're covered. They don't add on extra fees or anything like that. I remember when I first moved to Los Angeles, I'm like, oh my God, now I have to deal with car insurance. I was coming from New York. Anyway, I remember everyone, I won't say the name, but there was an insurance like Hunter, like this. And they then did the shopping and comparing for you. And everyone

told me to use that. And I got the lowest insurance that way. Now, and Policy Genius has helped over 30 million people, 30 million people. They've placed over $120 billion in coverage. So this is the place to go. Head to policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Just check it out. If you're on the fence, I mean, get it.

As you said, you sleep more securely and all that, but you take care of loved ones. Even if you don't have kids or whatever, you could also take care of all the expenses you're going to cause by kicking it. Yep. And finally, let's talk about Just Egg. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'm using them.

They sent you sample, right? Yep. I got the frozen one and the liquid one in the bottle. Yep. Love it. It's plant-based, and it tastes, in my mind, better than egg. Sometimes I find egg is too much for me. All right. What do you do with it? What do you do with it? Well, there's frozen squares, these patties.

I take it, I throw it in the toaster for eight minutes. I take it out, I put it on an English muffin with a little bit of cheese, and it's better than an Egg McMuffin. It's smoother. I love the consistency. It's got the consistency of eggs. You wouldn't know you weren't eating an egg,

but you don't have to clean a pan when you're done. It's amazing. I got my frozen chicken sausage. Cut that up. First, put it in the pan a little. It softens up. Cut it up. Get that going. Some onion, mushrooms if I have them, and then some... Did I say onion? A little bit of onion. Anyway, I basically start that scramble and then pour it in right from the bottle, and I am done in minutes. So there's two different ways to eat it. Just Egg, it's cholesterol-free, it's plant-based, and it makes really fluffy eggs when you scramble it. Yep.

And at the last minute, if I'm feeling a little extra, I put spinach on it, which quickly reduces. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. Then I top it with feta, and I'm off to the races. And Just Egg is packed with cholesterol-lowering, polyunsaturated fat. Chicken eggs. Wish they were this healthy!

So, and also, you're helping save the planet. So, think about that, too. It's a whole save the environment kind of thing. So welcome to the golden era of eggs. Just egg, really good eggs. Okay. Should we get to the front page? Oh, my God.

Here we go. Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! Okay. Well, I don't know. Hard to avoid World War III. But here, on a positive note, it was weird how comforted I was by this headline. Hacking collective Anonymous declares cyber war against Vladimir Putin's government.

The elusive computer experts issued the stark announcement on their Twitter account on Thursday evening. They said shortly before 10 p.m., quote, the Anonymous collective is officially in cyber war against the Russian government. Around 30 minutes later, they announced that they had taken down the website of the Kremlin-backed TV channel RT, which broadcasts in Britain and has been heavily criticized for its coverage. So to me, all right, listen, I'm sure there's a lot of negative things you could say about anonymous. I just want to say right off the bat, I think it's amazing that alcoholics can be this high-functioning. That's why we love them. They're lovable. Finally, they're done with those annoying 12 steps and asking for forgiveness and doing something.

Like Russia, they don't believe in God either. I mean, no, they do. Sorry. Unlike Russia, they believe in a higher power. They're humble. They're vulnerable. But there is something comfortable. Like I view them kind of like a Batman. Like we, we don't know their identity, but they're just going to come in and get things done. They're going to be this vigilante, uh, force that comes

in and hopefully fights the bad guys all the time and in this case i think they are think about how many nerdy guys are sitting in bars right now trying to get pussy going yeah i'm an anonymous i did i did it i'm that's those are the warriors i mean think about it like a foot soldier versus a guy that can take out the communication systems of the Russians. Like who's the badass soldier now? Oh, it's I mean, they could take out. I mean, all of a sudden they can cut off their pipeline of oil. Right.

I mean, like if you think about what the cyber hackers did to, you know, the companies here in America, like the energy companies and stuff. I mean, they could shut off conceivably, they could shut off power in Russia. Well, are you worried that this will cause the Russians, because the Russians and the Chinese have better hacking than we do. I think the North Korean have better hacking than we do. Are you worried about the blowback from Russia? First of all, I'm not positive I buy into the premise that they have better hacking. They've flexed it more.

They've used it more. They've done more illegal activity. And maybe they are better. I don't know. But assuming they're very good, are you also like you're balancing your bank? Are you saying anonymous is is exclusively American? Oh, I didn't think about that. I thought I always thought of anonymous as American, maybe because the name is in English. But maybe you're right. I guess it's it's probably international.

I think it is. Yeah, very much is. I think it is. It very much is. And I think the best of the best hopefully will answer the call out and the call up, as they say, and fight the fight, I guess. I think maybe we'll have some of the best ones. Also, a lot of hackers, a lot of unbelievably skilled, we'll use the word hackers, but let's just generically say computer programmers and computer guys and girls are paid handsomely in America not to hack, to ruin your lives through Facebook or whatever, creating algorithms here. And they get paid handsomely. And so I think those people are very gifted. And who knows if they'll lend a hand? I don't know. Well, I just hope that Russia doesn't retaliate and cut off like. Ex hamster or Russian backroom casting or something like that, because that'll cripple us. That's going to bring us to our knees. I think there's a general global agreement not to

take down X Hamster. That's just the gentleman's agreement across all boundaries. Yeah. All conflicts. All wars. Right. Because at the end of the day of being out on the street shooting, throwing Molotov cocktails, a man's got to unwind with a good pair of feet. Hey, what's about what's the deal with this ghost you were telling me about? You haven't heard of the ghost of Kiev? Just briefly, yeah. Okay, so it's, all right, the Ukraine resistance has given rise to the ghost of Kiev,

a fighter pilot who may or may not be real, and who has shot down six Russian planes, allegedly. Such a superhuman legend symbolizes Ukraine's people this terrible week. So, anyway, there's all this speculation. This terrible week. So anyway, there's all this speculation. And then then now a new rumor was that the ghost of Kiev is a woman pilot. And so that makes it sexier. Really, to me, it ruined it. Like now I don't believe in the ghost of Kiev. It just doesn't make any sense. But in their defense, their evidence was footage showing that she couldn't park the plane to save her life. You have to keep in mind, the most famous

female pilot in the world, Amelia Earhart, didn't make it to her destination. She ran out of fuel and crashed into the Pacific and drowned. That's the official determination on what happened to her. I hate to laugh, but it's

true. Yeah, I never really thought about that. They're going to find Amelia Earhart's plane buried in the Pacific somewhere, and the left blinker is still going to be on. I mean, the dudes have Red Baron. They have a guy who landed in the Hudson, Sully.

They have a bazillion examples. Except John McCain. John McCain drove a plane like a woman. I think he crashed three of them. Did he? Oh, yeah, famously. And Trump called him out on it. Or Harrison Ford. Who crashed right here

on the golf course. He crashed three times also. He's crashed three planes. No. who crashed right here on the golf course he crashed three times also he's crashed three planes no yeah he crashed on the well he crashed on the golf course you and i play on on pan mar yeah and then two other times han solo crashed three planes yeah right maybe solo should uh get a co-pilot and call himself Duo. Get a little help up there. Chewbacca, man. All right. Now, Chewbacca, here's what I love about Chewbacca. I'm listening.

Sometimes he was treated like a military genius. Like he was the guy making the action plan. And other times, he was like a pet. They had him on like a leash, eating out of a bowl. He was a primate. Yeah. Which is it? It can be both, Greg. I don't like your black and white thinking.

Right. Ukrainian TV broadcast instructions. This is on TV for all Ukrainian citizens to see on how to make a Molotov cocktail. As Ukrainian leaders urge residents to stand their ground and resist Russia's invasion, one television channel broadcast instructions on how to make Molotov cocktails. This happened Friday.

The TV segment showed a person creating the makeshift explosive, pouring colored liquid into the glass bottle with a diagram on the side showing how to stopper the bottle with a cloth wick. Earlier Friday, the Ukrainian defense minister tweeted that citizens should make, quote, make Molotov cocktails and take down the occupier. And this is as Russian forces were getting closer to Kiev, which as we are talking on Saturday midday, there's firing and there is war going on in Kiev now. But to me, I just pointed this out because I don't think there's a war image that more, you know, sort more illustrates the underdog than somebody throwing a Molotov. Right. Right. It's literally one of its one of its like nicknames is the poor man's grenade. I also read that sometimes it's called Molly. And I think if Ukrainian TV station called their segment How to Make Molly, maybe the whole war would have stopped and everyone would have tuned in.

Right, right. Yeah. But the history is appropriate. I looked it up. The name Molotov cocktail was coined by the Finns during the Winter War, called Molotov, Molotov and Koktali, whatever, in Finnish. The name was a pejorative reference to the Soviet foreign minister, Molotov, who was one of the architects of the pact signed in Ba Ba Ba. The name's origin came from the propaganda Molotov produced during the Winter War, mainly his declaration on Soviet state radio that bombing missions over Finland

were actually airborne humanitarian food deliveries for their starving neighbors. As a result, the Finns sarcastically dubbed the Soviet cluster bombs Molotov bread baskets in reference to Molotov's propaganda broadcast. When the handheld bottle firebomb was developed to attack and destroy Soviet tanks, the Finns called it the Molotov cocktail as, quote, a drink to go with his food parcels. So there's such parallels here. Yeah, I mean, the misinformation coming out of Russia right now about what they're doing, and, you know, they control the media in Russia, so a lot of Russia, I mean, there's a lot of people rising up. A bunch of people were arrested in Russia for protesting.

But for the most part, people are believing that uh that the ukrainians want to be freed and that we're we're freeing them from these fascist dictators and nazism don't forget that yeah right right so bizarre yeah a jewish actor as the leader of of ukraine and you're pulling that line i know this he was a fucking comedian. I know. What's his name? Zelendez? Zelensky. Zelensky.

He was a fucking comedian like literally three years ago. He was on TV playing a president in a satirical TV show. So there's hope for me. I may be in Lexington, Kentucky right now telling dick jokes on the Late Show Friday

to a bunch of bourbon drunk fucking lunatics but in two years i could be your leader people wouldn't that be lovely except you would have fled the country already you would have had some green screen listen i'm still here i I promise you. Yeah, right. I will be and I will continue. Here's my pledge to you as a leader. I will continue doing stand up comedy when I become the president. I will I will work that I will work a day job and a night job. That'd be an interesting open mic at this point in that invasion. So in other political news, Biden announces Katonji Brown, Jackson, as his Supreme

Court pick. Mr. Biden formally announced Jackson, who's 51, as his pick during an event at the White House, sending in motion a confirmation battle in the Senate that will play out amid Democrats' efforts to maintain their majorities in Congress in November's midterm elections. I think he's getting criticized for this, too. And I think he was like, oh, Putin invaded Ukraine. Katonji, throw on a dress and get down here quick. Yeah, right. Yeah. We're going to start.

He's going to finally get some things accomplished in this country. We'll see. But, you know, it was Tucker Carlson,son of course fucking jumps in and starts maligning her and starts saying that it's an attempt to defile the supreme court and humiliate and degrade the u.s he is such a piece of shit um you mean by getting someone who has way more experience than for example the last nominee? Oh, no. He was saying that she doesn't have experience. She has eight years of judicial experience, which is more than four of the sitting judges

combined had before they became judges, and more than Kavanaugh, and more than what's her name? Oh, of course. Barrett Comey or whatever. Yeah, Barrett Comey. Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, it's all right.

By the way, if that's your barometer, the court's already been disgraced, Tucker. You're way too late. And also, he's saying that she was nominated, quote, because of how she looks. Do you want to live in that country? Most people don't. They think you should be elevated in America based on what you do, not on how you were born, not your DNA. Meanwhile, Reagan famously picked a woman and installed Sandra Day O'Connor. Trump promised to pick a woman to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg and put in Amy Coney Barrett,

who is a hardcore Catholic, which was no fucking accident. So it's so disingenuous to say that this is wrong for him to be, you know, trying to create some diversity on the court. He's a joke. He really is just a joke. He's gotten meaner, hasn't he? How does he, like, do you know how pro was it Belarus? Remember, all he could do is talk up what was going on up there. And also, listen, this is the thing.

I don't want to get political, because I turned on Fox News during this invasion. All they are doing is talking politics. There's not really even war coverage. It's Putin is weak. Oh my God, he's threatening sanctions. What about real sanctions? And this never would have happened under Trump. All they're doing is talking politics while we are on the brink of war. Yeah, it's gross. NATO that Trump tried to dismantle. I mean, do you know what CNN, NATO that Trump tried to dismantle. I mean, do you know what CNN, if they wanted to talk about how this was all, in large part, facilitated by Trump's policies. How about when Trump blackmailed Zelensky and is withholding arms?

Right. That's crazy. Why do you think they're using Molotov cocktails? Because they didn't cough up dirt on Hunter Biden. So here's another story. A former Louisiana middle school teacher has been sentenced to 40 years behind bars after admitting she fed students cupcakes. That sounds nice.

Laced with the sperm of her ex-husband. Oh! Hey now. She was sentenced to... The powdered sugar on top. That's a little treat. Yeah, a little powdered sugar, but a little salty. A little salty, Ms. Hansen.

Ms. Perkins. She was sentenced to 40 years of hard labor without the possibility of parole. That's insane. Wait, wait, what? Yeah, 40 years of hard labor well she was also complicit in her husband raped a kid and she helped him oh but i'm not focusing on that i'm focusing on the cupcake part of the story because it's cuter i wonder if when they arrested the husband do you think when he gave his sperm sample,

did they just give him cupcake tins to try to, try to get it in there to help him out? How about in school? It's like, Susan's really pounding those cupcakes. Susan's like, Oh, M G.

These tastes just like my uncle scones. They also taste just like the communion wafers at church. What is the secret ingredient? And you got to be careful because when you're blowing out the candles, when you're blowing on it, sometimes it shoots in your face. Okay. Family friendly. Maybe we shouldn't use that logo.

The old bait and switch. I'd say a big switch and a lot of talk about baiting. All right, let's go to something more upbeat. A former criminal justice major and college cheerleader was convicted in the killings of three Florida prostitutes more than 15 years ago. He was linked by DN evidence to the three victims. This guy, Robert Hayes, showed no – this is the part I love.

He showed no reaction as the clerk read the jury's verdict Tuesday evening. And it's likely he'll get the death penalty. What did they expect? He's a cheerleader, so he's going to's gonna like jump up and do a cartwheel and go g-u-i-l-t-y guilty guilty die die die i think he's just disheartened because all his cheers for defense defense did nothing with his defense lawyers that they just they couldn't produce Unproduce. Yeah, it just is so weird because you think of cheerleaders as being so positive. And I wonder if the other cheerleaders sensed from him a darker side. Maybe they would throw a cheerleader in the air and he would purposely drop her, call her a whore.

Maybe he killed these three prostitutes with positivity. It was just unrelenting cheers. Yeah. He beat them with pom-poms. Yeah. But I am starting to question cheerleaders in general because my favorite cheerleader from the

show Cheer is now a convicted sex offender and predator. Oh, that's right. Right. Undoubtedly my favorite one. Yeah. I mean, I was kind of late to that show, but everyone was already talking about that guy.

I couldn't believe with that guy's background and everything how truly positive he was, and I just admired his attitude. And then I just saw Cheer. I was going to say I saw a documentary on it, but the show Cheer this season addressed it. They did not shy away from it. They went all in on how they learned about it

and how absolutely mortified they are. Can you imagine the producers when they found out that news? Holy shit. Listen to me. How about the parents? How about me being more concerned about the fucking producers than the parents? Oh, I know.

Well, so the parent is on the show. They talk to her the whole time. The parent of the victim or the parent of the predator? Yeah, of her two boys. I think they were twin boys. And one of them was the victim, actually. Jesus. Maybe both in a way but one was the one uh

who experienced something physical with him yeah it's it's interesting watch for sure because just coming from a show trust me the first advice the producers on that show probably got was you cannot address this um right right it you're gonna do no good addressing it maybe was what they were told also you could maybe even get in trouble uh if you address it and and i think they did the right thing by addressing it um i want to address this. A couple of twins. Brianna. Brianna. First of all, if you have twins, do you name them Brianna and Brittany? You do if they're these freaks. If you have two male twins, do you name them Josh and Jeremy?

How about dressing twins the exact same? Is that like, are they toys? Did you grow up with any twins? Yes. Two of my best friends, I won't say their last name, were Joseph and Anthony in Eastchester, of course. Anthony. And they were dressed the same all through grammar school. Yeah.

Like, what? I know. We had two sets of twins and one set of triplets in my town. And, yeah, they all dress the same. Well, they don't dress the same. Right. Just begin with they are being told exactly what to wear. And by definition, at least one of them doesn't have a choice.

Yeah. I wonder if the Sklar brothers were dressed similarly as kids. Now they just do it themselves. They do have a similar style, that's for sure. And they also keep their hair the same, but usually like Randy will wear a goatee, which helps you sometimes. Yeah.

No, wait, Randy wears glasses. I forget. I know them when i see them i know them when i see them but i always forget like who's got the glasses and but anyway a friend of ours has twins uh friends i'll just say they went to arizona state and uh one gay. So that helps so much. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, it's like I know

who I'm meeting instantly. Right. You know, if all of a sudden I have a tongue down my throat, I know it's Rick. So anyway, these two sets of twins meet each other.

And they said they felt like the men had just walked out of our twin dreams. The twin couples had a double proposal, double wedding, and gave birth to children nine months apart. Britney told USA Today they have quaternary twins, which is when two children are born less than nine months apart to identical twin mothers and identical twin fathers. They say their children are more than first cousins. They are full genetic siblings. are born less than nine months apart to identical twin mothers and identical twin fathers.

They say their children are more than first cousins. They are full genetic siblings. So in other words, their genetics of the four kids are as if they're brothers and sisters. We got it. You're inbred. Why flex it? Right. Isn't this how the royal family got started?

You're all so freaks. I bet all they do is go to Disney World. This is the profile of someone that does something like that. No, listen to the rest. They met at the annual Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio. I would have guessed Minneapolis, St. Paul, the Twin Cities, where they do

research on twins. I'm not even making that up, but go ahead. Joint engagement at a park called Twin Lakes. Okay. Yeah. It goes on and on. And they all live in the same house together right now. All six of them. And if they have slight little gay kids, maybe it'll be called Twinks.

Hey! See? That's the root of that word. That's crazy. I guess it's a good house to live in if you need like a kidney transplant or stem cells or something i say they're not i think they should medically like surgically conjoin their kids just go all the way even if they're not conjoined at all four all four yeah back to back conjoin them listen what families. Yeah. Back to back. Conjoin them. Listen, what families do together, they stay together.

I mean, just do it. I mean, come on. Right. Yeah. Here's a story about another child who is a badass motherfucker, as far as I'm concerned, at police officers. Oh, wait. I missed the beginning.

A four-year-old opened fire at police officers after his father told him to, as he was being taken into custody, Utah police said. A man received an incorrect order after going through a McDonald's drive-thru Monday afternoon and then brandished a firearm at the employees. I get it. It's frustrating. It is frustrating. It is.

When they put the cheese on, he said no. Yeah, yeah. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. Don't upset us. Employees called police who said the man refused to exit the vehicle and had to be pulled from the car. While they were taking him into custody, an officer turned back towards the vehicle and saw a gun pointing out the rear window. The officer vocalized to other officers there was a gun while swiping the gun to the side as a round was fired from the gun. Officer sustained a minor injury,

realized it was a child who fired and alerted other officers. So he was in the four-year-old was in the backseat with a three-year-old. So, I mean, look, this is depending on what state you're in, crawl your ground laws are in effect. Is that what state you're in crawl your ground laws are in effect is that what it is crawl your ground your ground yeah uh this back to euphoria watch season what

is it season two watch the first episode the first 20 minutes this is like ash that little kid yeah the drug dealers associate i mean it's it's uh it's like that i'm not even kidding you it's like that kid has been prepared right way too early by the mother or the grandmother well you know he did it's a parallel the grandmother brought him in and like what kind of person brings a kid to a drug deal and he's like he's my associate no partner partner right yeah and then he says the same thing when confronted when he brought ash right which by the way the name ash i mean it's just i don't know i'm i'm in man i mean i know it's over the top once you accept the shows

over the top uh you'll enjoy it a lot more that's been my experience now what happens to a four-year-old who has attempted murder? Yeah. Do you try him as an adult? I don't even know if they would call it a child attempt murder. Like, you know, there's always those little details. I don't know. Did he fully comprehend he would take the life of someone if he shot them? Yeah. I have no idea, but it wasn't a Happy Meal that day. Does this Happy Meal come with ammo in the box?

Is there a little package of ammo? Right. Let's do some news for Gubbins. Good news for Gubbins. Oh, here, wait, news section, news section. Okay, this is an interesting good news for Gubbins. Where is good news for Gubbins? Where am I in this document?

Where, where, four-year-old open fire? Right. Here we go. Tennessee State Parks seek volunteers for annual weed wrangle on March 5th. Gubbins! But hold on. Here's the good news for Gubbins. We are going to inform him right now.

Unpack those duffel bags. This is part of a national effort to remove invasive plants from public spaces. It has nothing to do with your beloved sticky icky. It's just. Is that even a phrase still? This is his uh vaccination wrangle back in 2021 remember oh and then his booster wrangle in 2022 yeah i mean like like weeds like weeds he just pulls poor people out of the way when he's going after his uh vaccinations it's a massive clearing clear it yeah throw it out uh that's the government's all right here we go entertainment let's do some entertainment there that's good paper crinkle right there all right so we have met long and hard and discussed this situation. Gubbins, for some reason, the producers at The Bachelor have not seen fit to cast Dennis as The Bachelor.

And so we, in all of our genius, and when I say we, Chris Denman had this idea. Award-winning producer. Award-winning producer. Award-winning. By the way, shout out to Chris Denman, who won an NAACP Image Award this year for producing a show that he does with Sherri Shepherd and Kim. What's Kim's last name? He's going to write it for us.

Good question. He's not even paying attention. He's busy working on his polishing his award right now. He's busy working on, he's polishing his award right now. He's busy yucking it up with his mag of friends, like, look what award I won. Yeah. He is Kim Whitley. That's right, Kim Whitley. Very funny.

So anyway, he had this idea of us doing The Bachelor on Sunday Papers featuring Dennis Gubbins. What we need from you, the listeners, are females that might be attracted featuring Dennis Gubbins. What we need from you, the listeners, are females that might be attracted to Dennis Gubbins. Let's paint a picture. Red hair. Okay, there you go.

Freckles. You mean also some red hair on his belly? No. Good looking guy. Amazing athlete. Even better dancer. Great dancer. I've told the story before. I've been at weddings with him where women, zero of this is exaggeration, women come to the dance floor to watch him dance with another woman. And then I was next to someone, this really beautiful girl.

I mean, I say girl to distinguish her. She was probably in her thirties. And she said, is he your friend? And I was like, yeah. She's like, do you mind if I ask him for a dance? And I was like, oh my God, this is going to blow Dennis's mind. So I waved Dennis over and he comes over. I'm like, this woman is interested in a dance. And she goes, would you mind dancing with my mother? She has watched, swear to God, every,

every syllable of that is true. Every syllable of that is true. Yeah. Dennis has a charisma. He's the life of the party. Women love him. He, uh,

he's hysterical. He's hysterical. He's, uh of the party. Women love him. He's hysterical. He's hysterical. He's a decent golfer. I would not suggest a golf date early on. You might see a side of him that is not really his true self. It's his golf self and his volleyball self and his soccer self. And he's a good soul. He's a good soul. Yeah, he's a good soul. From Northern California.

And a very successful commercial actor. Makes his living as a commercial actor and a comedian. So he's an interesting guy. So we're posting his picture right now. You're looking at it right now if you're watching this on YouTube. And otherwise, you can just... Loves dogs, lives in Venice. I don't know if his picture is on his Instagram account.

But by the way, it's shot up. He's gotten several hundred new followers since we told people to go to his site. It's DGUBS, D-G-U-B-S. Power of this podcast, several hundred. Several hundred. I like it. All right, I've been watching. I've been on the road all week, and I've been watching Dexter on Showtime.

Oh, my God. I had already seen season one, so I watched season two. It's so intense and so good. That guy is amazing. I've heard I have to watch it. So how many seasons were before the break, before they stopped making the show? Before the break? Why do you call it the break?

Well, I mean, they're back. They're making shows again. Oh, they are. I don't know how many seasons. Probably five, six. Yeah, okay. But there's a woman on there who I'm in love with, Jamie Murray.

She's so gorgeous. And I like the girl that plays his girlfriend. I like the black police officer who's always, he's the guy who points at his own eyes and then points those same two fingers at you that's that's his character he's that guy ah he likes old bits yeah uh i you know in the lead guy from six feet under i mean played the gay brother in six feet under he's so talented yeah um because he really was given he's generic looking right i mean very generic if not unattractive almost yeah but i mean in a lineup i'd be like he's a guy he's a white guy

like seems kind of fit what like i i would have a lot of trouble describing him, yet he breaks through. He's just so compelling. Yeah, yeah. It's just so well-written. It's a very well-written show. Well-directed. We had a note, we had a letter from somebody, from a guy named Nate Hines.

Mike Gibbons... This killed me. This killed me. Mike Gibbons needs a cynicism intervention after he panned the movie Coda. Coda is a great movie that offers an insightful view into the lives of deaf people trying to relate to the world and their own families through their disability. Any father who doesn't tear up during this movie is likely dead inside,

and the movie contains the kind of genuine human laughs that come from living real life. Please help Mike get some help. It sounds like he's lost the ability to enjoy anything that is good and decent and instead deride it as an after-school special. Wow. You know what I like about this note? Some people go big and they really get kind of trolly. This guy kept it genuine.

He is genuinely concerned about you. And maybe I should be too. Like now that I like, I didn't like you for you. Now I do. And you pointed out recently, I'm having trouble enjoying things and I'm too critical. So maybe there's a point here. But in fairness, I did call it deaf will hunting, which is exactly what it is. And I'm sorry, it's too saccharine.

It's crazy. And again, I'll repeat myself, but I did appreciate that they did not make the deaf people try to talk with a Boston accent because that would have been over the top. That would have been just too much. What's your feel-good guilty pleasure movie what's one that really hit you that you didn't expect to and stays with you um i mean uh breaking away

is one of my yeah but that's not a guilty pleasure i'm talking about one that like like you're like wow that was really i shouldn't have liked that and i I did. Here, Nate, I'll give you this, Nate. There were some scenes towards the end of CODA that were heartwarming, but I had to suspend that deadness inside me to enjoy it. But there were a couple of scenes. All right. I haven't seen it yet. I'm going to watch it this week just so I can see whether or not you really are cynical or whether it's the movie.

I think I can be a good gauge of that. No, it's I mean, the over the top, you know, singing coach and the whole who somehow I think was married to a woman in the movie. You'll see what I mean. Anyway, it's no you You're going to say it's an after-school special. By the way, there are good after-school specials. Speaking of guys like that, I was on the— And special means deaf. Go ahead. I took the shuttle to the airport from my hotel in Chicago,

and I get on, and there's a flight attendant. There's a few flight attendants, and they're all chatting. They're all very chatty. So flight attendants, really, they seem to make good friends with each other very quickly. And they get on, and she meets this guy that she hasn't met before. And, I mean, this guy is so gay, his feet don't touch the ground when he walks. He is like a caricature of a gay man, which you go like, all right, flight attendant, caricature of a gay man which you go like all right flight attendant kind of not to not to stereotype but it's a job where you do see a fair percentage of homosexual men and so they're talking and he compliments her shoes and then i forget what else they were talking about but they

were talking about gay subjects and then and then she said that uh she has a six-year-old and he goes oh good for you i have a nine a sixth and a two and my wife is exhausted i was like it was one of those things we literally almost stopped and go wait a minute hold on a second here what's what's going on here that's what you're gonna see in coda you're gonna be like wait wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where is the singing coach's partner, the teacher? And by partner, I would have said wife if I meant it. I mean partner.

Yeah. And when he first, he said kids, I was like, okay, he's got a gay partner. And then he said wife. And I was like, oh man, is she in for a fucking wake up call soon? So, but this is very consistent with, I remember christy my girlfriend back of course right so we date five years from 20 to 25 or something and she's smarter than me which was very clear and and you guys were very adult in college like i remember going to play it against sam's for sunday brunch and you guys were sitting there and you were like playing checkers and reading

the New York times on a Sunday morning. Yeah. Thank God I regressed since then. But no, anyway, she's great. But I remember we went to see, and she was more,

way better read and more intellectual than I. We went to see Goodwill hunting and I'm like looking around like, is this really, like, are people really digging this? It was the biggest after-school special I had ever seen in my life. And we left, and she was so offended. And I was like, wait, you, like, E2, Christy? I'm like, wait, wait, what? I'm like, you're supposed to be the one.

I'm supposed to have fallen for this, like, wait, wait, what? I'm like, you're supposed to be the one I'm supposed to have fallen for this like drivel. And you're the one who's supposed to be like, that's been done a million times. And't mind CODA, except when they get incredibly popular and critically acclaimed. Then I basically what I'm doing is throwing a flag. You know what I mean? How did you feel when Forrest Gump won the Oscar? I was one of those people that felt it should not have won for sure. Yeah. I've since been like, you know, it's a pretty good, it's a pretty good movie. It's aged well, I think. But I just want something that's a little more stimulating and challenging, you know,

stimulating and challenging, you know, and not as predictable and not wanting to be liked as much. I don't think it's a hard thing to talk about because you perform, you write and perform jokes. I write jokes. The goal is to have them liked. You know what I mean mean but but then there's a line which is pandering right you you want to you want to draw people to your to your art you want to you want to do something that attracts people to it and has them work their way towards it and earn it as opposed to hand them candy and just fucking throw it at them, or you're doing the absolute best story. You don't give a shit what people think about it, which is one approach to art, and many people say the approach. Okay, so Chris just wrote in, it beat Shawshank out.

I guess this is Forrest Gump beat Shawshank. That's an after-school special competition if I've ever seen one. What were the other nominees that year? Well, and Titanic was also kind of an after school special competition if I've ever seen one. Yeah. What were the other nominees that year? Well, and Titanic was also kind of an after school special that won the Oscar. Yeah. I mean, there's so very rarely does a really good work of art have mass appeal on the scale of Shawshank, Forrest Gump, Titanic and stuff like that. I would then tell you Silence of the Lambs is one of the unbelievable exceptions. And I always, you know, bring that up. But that was both incredibly popular and, in my opinion,

a total work of art. Yeah. So, Chris, I'm dying to see what the other nominees were the year. What was it, 94? I remember where I saw it. I worked in MTV in Times Square, and I went down to see Forrest Gump in the theater that was in our building. All right. Here's a list of—I'm going to just go through the Oscar winners of the last few years, and you tell me whether they should have won.

Or if it was—you say either winner or after school special. I'm going to give gut reaction. Go ahead. All right, Parasite. I liked it. Green Book. But by the way, I don't know if it should have won both Oscars. I don't know.

Go ahead. Green Book. Green Book. Piece of shit, white hero movie. Go ahead. After school special. The Shape of Water. Totally didn't deserve it.

Again, it's the Oscars are so terrified. It either has to be, it has to be a diverse and that was, you know, the Mexican director

who's awesome. Don't get me wrong. It did not deserve Best Picture. I loved it. Moonlight. Oh, holy shit. Okay.

So Forrest Gump beat Pulp Fiction. Go fuck yourself. Oh, yeah, yeah. Even Four Weddings and a Funeral, I actually believe, has more integrity. Yeah. Moonlight. Deserved it. My favorite movie that year.

Spotlight. Even though it was diverse and all that. It went Moonlight and then Spotlight the year before. Two lights. Spotlight was good, right? Yeah, it was diverse and all that moonlight and then spotlight the year before two lights spotlight was good right i mean yeah it was very good zach was in it yeah bird man oh i mean that was that was pretty creative that had that that challenged me i liked it i don't know if it is our best movie but i liked it 12 years Years a Slave. I was working on a script called 12 Years a Slave Owner, so that, to me, was hard to enjoy because I wanted to see the other side. You know, there's two sides to every story.

Argo. I mean, I guess it was okay, right? No, it was terrible. It was terrible. Was it? I don't know. It's also, what else was there? I think it was a bad year. i remember that being a pretty dry year oh my god pulp fiction lost holy crap i mean i'm looking through the list the last really great movie to come out that won an oscar oh god no country for

old men, probably. random but it won i remember being a little boy and every seemingly every award because it had a playful name that i was like why is this movie but it was one flew over the cuckoo's nest yeah if you have not seen that movie we've talked about it before it's it's a perfect movie well it's based on a perfect book by ken kesey. Yep. All right, let's get to... Hold on. Let's do some Florida, man. Okay, where's the... Where do my...

I love that you're in a small closet and you always lose your paper. Like, how big is your closet? Oh, my God. It goes way back. No, it's right here. I just have sweatshirts. It was under a sweatshirt, man.

It was right here. I tucked it under there. Yeah. And then there's hats. All right. We got Florida, man. All right. Florida insurgent goes to jail. Adam Johnson, the Manatee County man who became a prominent face of the riot at the insurgency at Burp at the U.S. Capitol when he famously posed for a photo toting Nancy Pelosi's lectern, was sentenced Friday to 75 days in jail. In the days following the attack, Johnson boasted on social media about his presence there, writing that he, quote, broke the Internet and was, quote, finally famous.

What an idiot. That's what you want going into prison. You want that fame. That really what you want going into prison. You want that fame. That really helps you out a lot. Nothing better than, hey, guys, guess who I forced to give me a blowjob in a scary dark corner of the prison this morning? I'm still tingling. Still tingling.

I committed a crime on a federal level, and I'm going to put it all over my Facebook and Graham. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah. Yeah. As the mob breached barriers and fought with police, Johnson climbed scaffolding up the side of the building and made his way inside the Senate wing.

He marched with others through an office. He posed for a photo, which they had a photo, a picture of the photo in the article. So he's posing beside a sign in the Capitol, an official sign, you know, like on like a brass like post thing. And it says closed to all tours. And he posted it to Facebook and his caption was, no. This is a child. I think the four-year-old who shot at police had more wherewithal than this guy. And then I read the most disturbing part ever in the article, which was, Johnson is a stay-at-home father of five who is married to a doctor.

Wow. Wow. I mean, if I went to, i'm assuming it's a woman if i went to that doctor i would stop going to that doctor now this doctor does not make good decisions no no she's yeah she's she's and and when and when it says that he's a stay-at-home father of five that means he literally just stays at home he doesn't go out he doesn't shop she gets shit on her way back from the office because he's he keeps going hey honey you wanted me to be a stay-at-home stay-at-home husband that's what i'm doing

the only part i'm on his side a little is uh fuck nancy's podium. In other words, I am the furthest thing from a fan of hers. So I like that he had fun with it. I do. I do like that. Well, he's going to have fun in prison. Let's do some international news. If we must, here we go. I know.

I think Ukraine covered a lot of that. Here we go. I know, but this... This story is too good. It's a little long, but I'm going to read the whole thing, and you're going to stay with me. A Chinese man was nearly drained of all his blood by the time he escaped his captors in Chinookville City, Cambodia. The man, identified by a surname lee was kidnapped by a gang and used as a quote blood slave for months the gang reportedly took 27

ounces of blood from the 31 year old man each month leaving him just enough time to replenish his blood supply it's believed that the gang sold the blood online to private buyers. He was drained of so much blood that his captors began drawing from his head as the veins in his arms could no longer supply enough blood. He managed to escape. He was in such poor physical health that he had multiple organ failure. His arms were bruised and covered with needle marks um under a threat of being sold to organ harvesters lee was forced to let them take his blood oh my god how apparently a type of blood which is like

very sought after so they're like oh yeah they so they took more blood from him than the other seven men that were in the room that they were also harvesting from are they gonna go back and get the other seven men or i mean this is like pulp fiction like you have a big choice to make do you go back in there yeah right yes you have to right by the way with tech with medical technology there's a lot more to harvest than the old like let's take your kidney and leave you in a tub of ice. It's like platelets, you know, all, I mean, gene therapy, like all, they could harvest the body for a lot more now. So I'm wondering if that stuff is happening. That's a crazy story. It just, I, in a way it's feel-good story because no matter how bad your life is going you are not being harvested for your blood with seven other men alone in a room in China

you know yeah and they used yeah they used electric prods on him and other captives to beat them into submission wow Jesus I know Cause you always hear those stories. You're like, I would have gotten out of there. And you're like, no, not so fast. What about like, uh, what about a fat person farm? And what you do is you'll harvest their fat to put in like, uh, influencers faces, you know, for, so you just take fat and you're like, all right, time to start eating. We'll see you in three weeks. We're going to take more fat out of you and put it in some models cheeks. And there would be like designer ones.

Oh, you got some from Libby. Yeah. Oh, she's the best. That's good fat. Yeah. They'd be rated. Totally.

Uh, let's do some sports. Okay, here we go. Let's do some sports. Okay, here we go. Let's do it. Here's a story made for you, Mike Gibbons. A girl, a soccer player. She scored her own goal hat trick. In other words, she scored on her own team

three times in the first half of the game. Incredible. Incredible. I mean, is she still alive? I can't even imagine the shame. And I'm on her side. Like, that's awful.

I mean, one own goal in a season is unusual. But three in the first half of a game? That's... But, you know, so did you see it? No. Did you? I did. Well, I saw most of it. I tried to watch. But just like if she scored on the opponent's goal,

it was so slow, I couldn't stay with it. Yeah. Right. When men score on themselves, it's fast, opponent's goal. It was so slow. I couldn't stay with it. Yeah. Right. When men score on themselves, it's fast. It's strong. It's just not like boring. I wonder if a man has ever. I wonder if a man has ever. There are a lot of clips of dudes scoring on their own team.

Is this the first time anyone scored three it's gotta be i can't imagine because with men you would get pulled after one they'd pull you out for the rest of the game definitely after two well one was killed the colombian guy oh that's right he kicked it back to his goalie, I believe, and scored. Yeah. And organized crime killed him. Yeah. I think I have that right.

I think there's a 30 for 30 on it, I believe. There's a story. We got to do one Olympic story. There was the men's 50-kilometer mass start race at the Beijing Games was shortened to 30 kilometers but that did not that did little to help finland's remy lindholm who needed a heat pack at the end of the race to thaw out a particularly sensitive body part he spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course in howling freezing winds leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time in a cross-country

ski race following a similar incident in Ruka Finland last year so uh yeah he froze his penis I I didn't think that was possible you would think that his legs are moving back and forth and are warming he must have a big penis that it was like hanging down that low there's something he might have had a large penis that it was like hanging down that low. There's something. He might have had a large penis because also your penis tries to crawl inside you. It definitely deactivates when it's cold. Mine tries to crawl inside of other people. Oh, all right.

Yeah. Well, he could have used yours. That would have helped them warm up, I think, a little bit. But, you know, so his fingers weren't frozen. I guess maybe they had warm gloves. Normally it's the extremities that are far from the torso. Yeah. Which a penis is not.

Yeah. Now he's packing some Finnish heat, this guy. Also, for those who don't know, the male genitalia is self-regulating with temperature. That's why, you know, shrink male genitalia is self-regulating with temperature. That's why shrinkage and all it is constantly trying to find the perfect temperature at which to produce and keep sperm alive. Which is cooler than your body temperature. That's why it's hanging. That's why it's hanging low. That's correct. But it won't hang low if it's cold. That's right. If it's too cold. So, I don't know. This story's

weird. And why doesn't it happen to other guys? Because this guy has the biggest dick at the Olympics. And, you know, I think in an Olympic village, there's going to be a lot of women that are, like, consoling him, seeing if there's anything they can do. Just checking in on him. Alright, let's get down to... Also, we find out that it's hanging out he's the one racer it's just hanging out he cut a hole and it's just hanging out of his

out of his pants he asked for it right oh it happened a second time yeah he's only raced twice it's like he's the brave heart of cross-country skiing. He can't swim because he gets abrasions from the bottom of the pool. So now he's in the Winter Olympics. Plus, it hangs to the left. He kept swimming in circles. Let's do this day in history, Mike. Okay, here it comes.

Yes. 1922. Supreme Court defends women's voting rights. The 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution providing for female suffrage is unanimously declared constitutional by the eight members of the Supreme Court. The 19th Amendment, which stated that the citizens of the U.S. to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state on account of sex, was the product of over seven decades of meetings, petitions and protests by women, suffragists and their supporters.

So that's a big deal. porters. So that's a big deal. The first before this, I think, I don't know the exact year, but Wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote. But the reason they did it, if I recall, is it was political. It was the cities wanted political control. And so there were ranchers not living in the city. And so all the women, of course, lived in the city. So they gave women the vote so the cities would have their way. I probably got half of that right. But I do know it was a political thing. Do you remember on the Man Show when Jimmy and Adam went out and they got women to sign a petition to end women's suffrage? Oh, no, that's pretty funny. Yeah, and the women were all signing it on the boardwalk in Santa Monica or in Venice.

Wow. Yeah. It is pretty crazy, I mean, that they didn't let women vote till then. That's crazy. It is pretty crazy. I mean, when you look at our Constitution and our Declaration of Independence and, you know, America's philosophy. Well, it took a long time. I wonder how we did in relation to other countries. I think we were one of the later countries in the developed world to allow women to vote.

When did they let them get driver's license? That's what I'm interested in. I know. Not late enough. All right, let's do some letters to the editor. Okay, here we go. New section. All right, let's do some letters to the editor. Okay, here we go. New section. All right. All right, let's go down to...

Every time I hear you guys talk about Wordle, I want to tell them about all the derivative games from it. There's Quartle, where you solve four words with nine guesses you have octortal which is eight words uh and then there's lewd lewdl game.com uh because it is five five it's a five letter word that's lewd pussy prick dildo um so wow maybe i'll try lewd game.com. Yeah. Oh, it's called lewd game.com. Hmm. Yeah. How'd you do on Wordle today? I got it in three, but I should've got it in two. I got like three letters in the right place on the first guess. And that's impressive. We can say it because, uh,, yeah, we can say it.

It's not going to spoil it. It's Saturdays. I got it in four. Was it still? Or spill? I think it was that. No, it was still. No, spill. Spill.

So my second guess was still, and then my third guess was spill. So my second guess was still, and then my third guess was spill. Because I guessed, my first guess was slice. So I got. Wow. So I got. SLI. Yeah. But the double letters are tricky, those throw people.

Yeah, I had SLI, and S and I were in the right place. Yeah, so I guess still on the second one. But Aaron got it in two today. Wow. Yeah. My third guess was slick, and then I wound up with spill. But it also could have been another word I forget. I'm like, oh, it was a coin toss there also

tom o'neill is in a slump he used to be a solid three for six sometimes two for six he's been five for six the last like four days. What was your first word on those? Soar. S-O-A-R-E. Oh, well, that's bullshit. Or arise. You could do arise. I did raise for a while.

That's a good one. Yeah. R-A-I. Yeah, raise is a great first word. I don't understand how people can then ignore. Let's say you get your S and E and stuff like that in the first. I don't know how people ignore the T in the second word. What are you doing?

I know. You got to get the T, the S, the R, and the vowels. Yeah. Although people, I read one theory. I haven't taken a deep dive since I found a good first word. But people are like, this is interesting. I read one woman said she doesn't do vowels because vowels are more intuitive than consonants.

And she pointed to an example of um license plates that just remove all the vowels and you still know what it says right you know and uh so there's something to that that's but you know you have to find words so i forget what her word was but it had like one vowel i I think, was her first guess. So what were the two words you got using sore as the first word? So this is what I do. I do something, and I bet purists might call it cheating. So I, if I get, when I have gotten in trouble before is when I try to guess the word on the second one.

And instead of just finding more letters, I know this is very boring to some people. So I put S-O-A-R-E, right? And the only word that was green or in the word at all was S. So then you don't use S in the second word. I don't use S. So my second word was unlit, U-N-L-I-T. So now with those two words, I've done A-E-I-O-U, and I've also done S-R-N-L-T. So I've really cornered the market on the most, you know, and then I was like, OK, it has an it begins with S and it has an L and I. I correctly guessed it's going to be S.L.I.

All right. This has got to be unbearably boring for people right now. And I put slick. Then I sliced my wrist and it spilled out of me. This is from Joshua. what are we doing what this what just happened what was the last three minutes of this podcast so then i thought nerd alert this is from daniel from canada took over my Mormon neighbor's TV when I was streaming porn from my phone to my TV, and all his kids saw it. He called the cops on me. Let it be known that your smartphone can take over your neighbor's TV. Wow.

That's dangerous. Well, that's what—so I got a new Apple TV, like, let's say a year ago or something. And, uh, I didn't name it or if I, or, and then, and then I did name it, but I named it living room. And so I was engaging in the same activity as this guy. And I then had a choice and there were two living rooms. Like I was going to mirror from my phone and there were two Apple TVs listed that both said living room, like not worth it. Not worth it. I got to go make that Mike's living room. I list my, um, my next door neighbor is named danny and i list my uh internet wi-fi title is danny sucks and he's never said anything to me about it there's no way he hasn't seen it yeah because you you have to see them like know, your power goes out for a second, whatever it is or something.

Or a new person comes over. His guests must know he has to because the guest comes over. He's like, let me guess. It's Danny Sucks. No. Let's do the obituaries. We have to do it. Here we go.

Obituaries. And that's all folks all right uh the amazing jonathan died who was a great great comedian magician he was uh he was an anomaly he was a guy that really brought together magic and comedy like uh like nobody's business. He was really successful. He started out on the streets of San Francisco and then was on TV shows like Letterman a lot. He did Comic Strip Live a lot. He was on The Weird Al Show.

He did something like 25 appearances on Comic Strip Live, I think. Oh, wow. appearances on comic strip live i think but his big run was when he got to vegas and he headlined vegas for like 14 years or something and um and then he got diagnosed and they made a really cool documentary about him two documentaries about him i remember uh i remember hearing he was a goner, basically. Well, that was the point of the documentary, is it was showing him dying, and then he lived another seven years after that. Right.

He was super talented, super cool dude. He was called the Freddy Krueger of comedy. Did Steve Byrne do a documentary on him? The comedian? He might have. I think he might. I know a comedian did one. I don't know if it was Steve Byrne. But that's too bad. I remember seeing him. I laughed in that documentary, the aristocrats was when he told that joke,

which we've told before about the, uh, the, uh, gorilla having sex with the lion in the zoo. Yeah. He, he, for,

for some reason, the documentary, the aristocrats went into what are great jokes that like live on forever. And I guess whatever, in case you haven't, I guess now it would be rude not to say it, even though many of our listeners have heard it. The very fast version is this gorilla goes,

you see the lion sleeping over there in this area. I'm going to go over there and fuck that lion up the ass. He's like, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do it. So he runs over, mounts the sleeping lion from behind, quickly fucks it up the ass and runs. The lion goes ballistic and fucking chases after him. The ape, the gorilla, runs into the reptile house

and there's a security guard there and he pummels the security guard, dresses in the security guard's clothes and pulls up the newspaper and hides his face. The lion comes tearing in and he goes, hey, did you see a gorilla run through here? And the gorilla goes, you mean the a gorilla run through here and the gorilla goes you mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass and the lion goes it's in the papers already

such a great joke it's such a great joke yeah um yes steve burn did direct it oh it's uh it was called uh always amazing the true story of the life and death of the amazing Jonathan. Steve Byrne's a nice guy, and I know he appreciated him. Amazing Jonathan, I never met a comic that had a bad thing to say about him. He was respected. He was very respected and a hardworking dude. To be honest, I watched the documentary i don't i don't remember it that well but um i gotta watch it again now i've now i feel bad i must

have been high when i watched it i don't remember it um let's do the funnies we always cheer up by doing the sunday funnies right after the obituaries. Here it comes. I was going to retire, and maybe I will, but I'm going to go grab Family Circus as you're talking now. So I'm going to be a little distracted. But go ahead. Go ahead. I forgot to grab it.

I think I'm done with them. All right. The Lockhorns. The Lockhorns. He's. Leroy uh opening up the kitchen fridge and he's talking to his friend and he goes marriage has its ups and downs so i'm always up for downing a beer all right and then there's another one where he looks at her. They're eating dinner, and he looks at her, and he goes, this chicken a la King isn't fit for a surf.

A lot of wordplay today. A lot of wordplay from him. Sometimes the Lockhorns gets a little wordplay. But that's all right. It's math. It's witty. It's mathematical comedy. They're trying, God damn it. I don't like the piece of shit that I just found.

Go ahead. So now let's go to Hager the Horrible, where his wife, Helga, has a fur coat, and she's putting it on, and she goes, I love this warm fur coat you gave me. I'm going to wear it into town. And then Hager looks at her, and he goes, wear it inside out.

The Duchess may still be looking for it. You know, the one we raped and killed to get that coat. There's still blood on it. Here. Here's this coat, honey. I think that's a nice cover because I don't think the Duchess is still alive or has the wherewithal to know she's missing a coat. That's the least of her problems.

Yeah, right. I think he's kind of like, yeah, I obviously took it very, it was an agreement. I took the coat. So she's still very aware and she'll still want it back and be angry. Okay. This is Family Circus. It's the mother sitting in church and her shitty little kids are all around her,

and the little girl, speaking of wordplay, the little girl gets up on the bench and whispers in the mother's ear, how much longer until we goeth home? That's not bad. That is not bad. Okay, this is the difference i'm trying to understand where you're coming from it's it's very funny if the kid rolls her eyes after saying that like okay like mocking the language of course that's that's not how Keane meant it. Keane meant it like, oh, go with is a real word.

I should use go with him and a sincere mommy. How much time until we go with home? Not pointing out or mocking the biblical language at all. Right, right, right. That's the difference. They got lucky. I would have done a joke like that as a kid with an eye roll, and I would have gotten a solid laugh and probably gotten out of church early. My mom would have respected it enough to get us up and out of there.

Yeah. I mean, if she leans over to the mom and goes, I wish dad would let me get killed, or some other little biblical story that would work like that. I got an 11th commandment wrap it up right that's exactly when it's funny when it's delivered that way yeah yeah all right oh my god yeah blondie comes in the front door and she's dressed business casual which i'm not a fan of and she says honey where are you i think the sofa might be a good bet. She walks in. Dagwood is laying on the couch because she's out. And that's what husbands do, apparently.

When wives are out, they lay on the couch and they magically sleep. You see it all the time. Of all the marriages I know, that's all that happens when the wife goes out is the man sleeps on the couch. That's all that happens when the wife goes out is the man sleeps on the couch. Dear, it looks like you forgot to put the chicken in while I was out. Oh, sorry, honey. And she goes, I'll see what else I can come up with for dinner. And then she walks out of the room and he goes, after the ball game, I was over.

I decided to have a quick cat nap. I eat a big turkey sandwich and I guess didn't help me sleep. Once my head hits the pillow, I was a goner. Honey, did you hear what I said? Blondie? And she's ignoring him and he goes, what a waste of perfectly good alibis. You fucking piece of shit. Are any of those good alibis that you ate a turkey sandwich and fell asleep?

That's an alibi for a woman? She's wearing business casual, which means she was at her catering company working and making probably more money than you are. All you had to do was put the fucking chicken in the oven. Piece of shit. Which she prepared, undoubtedly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was already rubbed. There was a salt rub.

It was laid out on the pan. All he had to do is fucking place it inside the oven what you would pay to see blondie rub a chicken oh rub my chicken blondie if you lived in that town you'd be hiring your catering company constantly oh yeah do you make your own sausages, Blondie? Can you peel carrots? I'll just pay you to peel carrots in front of me. Yeah. Can you scrub potatoes while I watch?

All right, listen, Mike. We've done it. We're in two different cities, but once again, we've done it. Yes. The contest is on for Gubbins. Ladies, if you're interested, please send us an email at FitzDawgRadio at gmail.com. We're going to get together, I don't know, three ladies, three or four. If you're predicting that, many people are going to come on board.

We'll see. I think we have a lot of single ladies that listen to this podcast. And you don't have to live in the la area because if you win the contest we will fly dennis gubbins to your shit town and you will hang out with him for as long as you like it for him it's a free place he'll he'll sublet his place on airbnb while he goes and visits you he has no baggage there's previous marriage. There's no children that he knows of. So there's also another way of saying that, which is he has nothing going on.

Yes. He's free as a bird. All right. We want to thank Midcoast Media for doing an excellent job. Key and Chris and Beth, thank you again. And Mike, anything you want to promote? No. Wow.

I should promote something. How about World Peace? Let's promote World Peace and let's also promote Keith Jarrett has an album. It's called Cold, January 24th, 1975. I've been listening to that all weekend. My uncle bought that for me. Such a great album. It's really great.

Yep, all the feels, that guy. You could hear him yell as he's playing piano. All righty, man. Enjoy Lexington and then Oklahoma, was it? No, Nebraska. Omaha, Nebraska. And then I will be back in L.A. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday.

I think we're going to the beach on Tuesday, right? You shouldn't go public with that. No, we're working hard at our jobs and trying to find jobs. That's right. And we may have a writing session on the beach. Yeah, right. All right. We'll see you later.

Take it-ish. Take it Eesh Take it Eesh We'll be right back. Suddenly Making paper Russell Suddenly Listen to the Russell now 30 years without drinking Cause you gotta stay clear To get what Mike is thinking And Mike's job is just as tough As it around to figure out When enough is enough Gotta stay clear to get what Mike is thinking. And Mike's job is just as tough. I sit around and figure out when enough is enough.

Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. Making papers. Hustle in the background. Listen to the muscle now Thank you.