Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 133 10/2/22

Episode Date: October 2, 2022

Hurricane Ian is this week’s Florida Man. Biden is seeing dead people, we caught a Russian spy and a dog poops in her owner's mouth.

Gregor and Mikey's Sunday Papers. Gregor and Mikey's Sunday Papers. Yeah. Recording. Read all about it, y'all. Read all about it. Atlanta. Here you, X3 X3, coming to you from Atlanta, Georgia.

Nice. And Nashville, Tennessee. It's the Southern Southern Papers, y'all. I'm going to be doing a Southern accent when I read some of these Florida firsthand accounts of the hurricane. Yes, obviously our top story. Our hearts and minds and our souls go out to the florida how many people died in florida i don't know i mean at one point i heard nine or so i mean no no no it's way up chris will you look that up we get the current one it'll be more by the time this airs on sunday

because we're taping this on saturday yeah but i haven't checked in it's in north carolina now as of saturday my uh godmother lives in bonita springs which is like in the 14 14 that's it 14 as of now i don't want to say it like that i mean 14 is tragic and it's terrible but if this was haiti it would be like 10 000 right although man a lot of i mean did you see did you see some of the footage in fort myers oh it's crazy there was one the time lapse it was like a news a webcam and the webcam was set up on like what looked like like the third street promenade looked like a little like a little bit of a walking mall you you know, a walking area. And it started coming in and what's the best way I can say this. I, I said no way while watching the time-lapse footage when it was only three quarters of the way up. And then it got absolute,

it was a river. I think it's the second biggest storm to hit Florida in the last 50 years or something. Yeah, no, it was big. And listen, that's what we're going to talk about. They knew it was big. They predicted it was going to be big, yes. And they also predicted it was going to be hard to accurately tell where it would make landfall. You know, they settled. Anyway, there's a lot of controversy about it.

A gentleman just corrected it that it is at least 46 people. Jeez. Then it became a hurricane again over the Atlantic. What's that? It became a hurricane again after leaving Florida when it went over the water. Damn, it's transitioning from a female to a male to a bigger male. Did you see the shark swimming in the waters around Tampa?

I did see that, yeah. Like a neighborhood? And they showed it eating an animal? Really? Probably a dog or something, but you could see it attacking an animal in the water. You'd think it would lose its appetite, at least for a little. The shark must be even a little disoriented, right? I know.

That's what you love about a shark. It's like a metaphor, man. You never lose your focus. Like how often is a shark seeing a tricycle on a lawn? Yeah. Never? Yeah. That shark should be our Florida man man for this week oh no i have a

i put a florida man in from the storm yeah of course yeah um so dude give the update give this crazy update uh crazy week crazy yeah i flew to uh austin texas on monday and i did the kill tony podcast monday night which was amazing i don't know if people know the kill tony podcast but it's tony hinchcliffe who you know um he he does this crazy live show at this at this rock club in austin and uh And in town at the time was Dave Attell, who had done Rogan that day. So he came on. And, like, the comedians sit on a panel, and you kind of roast these new comedians who do, like, two minutes of material each.

And so we roast them. And then they introduce this. They say, now please welcome Gary Tindall. And this guy comes up with a hat pulled down over his face and he goes up to the mic and he just starts doing these dark silly hilarious jokes and half the audience it takes them like two minutes to realize it's Nick Swartzen who happened to be in town also and uh and then uh uh who else was in town oh oh man man. What a night. Dr. Dr.

What's his name? From Loveline. Dr. Drew. All right. He came up on stage and he like evaluated somebody. And then Duncan Trussell. It was crazy.

It was the craziest fucking. Wow. So that was fun. And then the next day I did, you know, there's two bears, one cave, Tom Segura's podcast with Bert Kreischer. So Bert's away. So I subbed for Bert and I did that podcast, which was really fun. Tom's got this new studio in Austin that's like, Jesus Christ. When I look at my studio, I mean,

my studio is like the size of a small hotel room. And these guys have like 10,000 square foot, just huge. He's got like a dozen people. I met the president of his company. Chris Denman is the president of my company. Well, he's the president of other people's companies too, so I wouldn't flatter yourself.

Yeah, right, right. I mean, it's just so pathetic. That's companies too So I wouldn't flatter yourself Yeah, right, right I mean, it's just so pathetic That's my president I got to impeach this motherfucker And so we did that And then Tuesday and Wednesday night We did live shows at the Vulcan Which is this rock club downtown

And, you know, everybody dropped I got a video message You texted me you and Adam Eget together That was very cute Adam Eget together. That was very cute. Adam Eget, the guy that booked the Comedy Store Forever, is out there running Joe's Club, which opens in January. A lot of people know him as Norm's right-hand man, his sidekick on his podcast,

and a real amazing character in his book as well. So funny. Oh, he's great. Now, when ise opening his club uh it looks like january it's taking a while they're making some last minute tweaks because uh louis ck was in town and he came down and looked at it and gave joe some notes on the size of the stage and some other stuff and he actually Joe was like, yeah, let's make those changes. So they delayed the opening to make the tweaks. Oh, very cool.

Yeah. And then so I did those, and then I did Rogan on Thursday. And then on Thursday night, Rogan's like, hey, what are you doing this weekend? And I was like, not much. I got a couple spots back in LA. He's like, you want to go to Atlanta and do the Fox Theater, which is like one of the most famous theaters in America?

Oh, yeah, it is. And so I was like, I don't know, Joe. How are we going to get there? He's like, private jet. I'm like, okay, I think I can swing this. So we did a show last night, and then we got another one tonight, and then I go back to LA tomorrow morning

and staying in the Four Seasons like a fucking baller. Look at you, flying private back to LA tomorrow morning and, uh, staying in the four seasons like a fucking baller. Look at you flying private back to LA. No, no. First class, first class, baby. Oh really?

Oh yeah. Wait, why is that? Cause that's what you were flown to Austin in. Yep. Oh man. Look at you. Look,

you're killing it. And then I go back to my life. How was the, uh, Fox man. How was the Fox, man? How was the Fox Theater? It's really cool. It was built in 1929, and it's got all these posters up of, like, Diana Ross and, you know, Richard Pryor, all these people that have played there over the years. And it's just so fun.

It's just so old school. Like, it's got this elevator that you'd be afraid to get in. And there's an elevator operator. And there's literally three of us. There's like two opening acts and Joe. And he sat there for three hours just to take us up and down once. It's a good gig. It's a good gig.

And it was a lively crowd. They're very, Rogan fans are pretty whipped up. And so it was uh it was a lively crowd they they're very rogan fans are pretty whipped up and so yeah it was very intense um but it was uh it was how did you do really fun i did good pete and dudley were there you just said hi to them our friends from college and your friends from high school yep and uh they said you did great yeah it was fun it was really fun nice so yeah so i'm psyched and you're in uh nashville what's going on in nashville in nashville uh i'm gonna come down here a lot wheeler uh i'm gonna help wheeler out with something so that's what's going on there a little bit uh some parody thing we're gonna do uh-huh and he's finishing up his tour. He has two dates. I think he's an, he just,

he left today to Oklahoma city. So, um, is he touring hard? Yeah. Oh, BIA. No, he's finishing up a tour that did very well, actually. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. So that was very cool. And I don't know about you. It's probably the same. Like this, like fall is in the air here, which, you know, in LA we are in the hottest part of summer, which is weird because it's October, but it really is like, it's like, it's never been hotter than the last week. Like I normally don't even have AC on and I have, and down here, like our leaves changing in Atlanta. I don't know. I'm in in the city i haven't seen any trees i mean we flew actually no we flew in and it looked pretty green it looked green yeah yeah

i think you're a little bit behind here but like it went down like for instance and it's you know it's hot in nashville 44 degrees the other night no shit already yeah i know i'm really surprised by it yeah you know la know, LA, I get that way all the time. LA, I remember the first, I couldn't get, I still not used to it. Like all of a sudden, good morning America or some piece of garbage show, but in New York, but like one of those morning live news shows, they're like, we're coming to you from central park. And there's like leaves on the trees in spring or, or the, or the foliage is happening. And it's like, wait, spring yeah or or the or the foliage is happening and it's like wait what in la we're always like what season is it right well we we get our summer in september and october it's crazy we were we

were at the beach last weekend remember how warm the water was it was like 75 degrees yeah it was great um well now that we've bored the fuck out of everybody by talking about the weather what's going on outside of starbucks oh no this is just a quick like you know i'm trying to write down because i i do hear a lot of funny things and then i forget to say them on this podcast but this was this has nothing to do with anything i was at a i was walking by a starbucks it was in culver city and all these socially uh these group of old black guys are out there and having nothing to do with me but i I just walked by and I heard this and clearly a guy had been struggling to remember something. And anyway, as I'm going in, all of a sudden the guy banged the table and he goes,

motherfucking treat Williams. That's amazing. What? That's amazing. I didn't, I just went, I didn't even stop going stop going in i'm like i don't want to know the context i don't want to know anything but that guy was struggling to get that name and then he did it and if you gave me about a year to guess what name he was trying to come up with it would not have been treat williams you know i do a segment on fitzdog radio called overheard and i'm writing that down right now motherfucking treat williams yep it was perfect

treat williams was the star of hair remember that movie hair oh man treat williams was huge huge and he and he was dark i think he i think he became a big drunk i don't know. It's funny. Afterwards, I was like, oh, you know, I have a little— I remember I was doing a bit on Kilborn, and the segment producer might have been Dave Hart, who was a great guy, anyway, is a great guy.

Someone came up to me after the show. He's like, you know, I was segment producing Treat Williams. I was his producer. And I was in the room, and he couldn't— all of a sudden, he's like, hey, do you mind if we do this in a couple minutes? He was segment producing treat Williams. I was his producer and I was in the room and he couldn't all of a sudden he like, he's like, Hey, do you mind if we do this in a couple of minutes? He was watching the comedy bit. And then he goes to, uh, David Hardy point and points at me on screen. He goes, that guy's really talented. So I love, so I love motherfucking treat Williams. Um, all right, hold on. So another, another overheard overheard all right so when the hurricane was coming in

somehow maybe on instagram or whatever uh and i'm gonna do this now forever whenever the stuff like this goes down they're like you got to follow this storm tracker this storm chaser so these guys it doesn't matter if there's tornadoes like wherever in some you know tornado alley they obviously chase storms and these guys were in their cars they have all the equipment they're sharing their screens they're like oh my god look at the eye the eye is sealing and all these terms like look at the look at the front wall all these things. And they're insane. And, and on YouTube, you follow them live. It looks like a carpool karaoke. There's like three, um, GoPros suction cup to all their windows. And they like hide in a parking structure, like a really heavy cement parking structure.

And they watch. And then when they know the eyes coming, they head out and they go towards the eye. And then when they know the eye is coming, they head out and they go towards the eye. One guy is famous. His name's like Reed. Reed went right up to the ocean. All the houses were evacuated and he jumped the fence of the private property and ran around to the backyard, which was on the ocean and was getting smashed with waves. No shit. Swear to God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, so one of them was like uh he they have an interest to build it up so the best was he would be like oh my even from his car he's like oh my god roofs are being peeled off look at that roof is and all the comments are like does anyone see a roof being peeled off i don't see anything and he's like this is crazy and feel like i don't see craziness i don't see craziness. I don't see craziness. Yeah. Um, wait, let me see if this was, yeah. Weather doesn't show up on screen. Like you can, it's always like that. The meteorologists are always standing on the beach

screaming and it looks like a beautiful day at the beach. Right. All right. So I recorded one. Here he is. And he kept saying another thing he loved yelling is my ears are popping my ears are popping and i i guess it's the low pressure system i i don't even i i guess it's a barometric like it's that means you're really in it anyway here i don't know if you'll be able to hear this here is i then recorded this guy all the lines are coming down all power poles are snapping here we go people like what nothing's coming everywhere debris everywhere all right so the beginning now he doesn't talk for so and every time he yells one of these things people are like i see no debris i see no debris roofs are flying off signs are being oh my there but i i next time

there's something like this and and you're not making any light of it it's actually a very fascinating way to see feet on the ground like for these things but they have you'll you'll when you go to youtube and all you have to do is find one and then youtube suggests like all the others and you just go to the ones that have the live banner on it and it's unbelievable how many crazy things you see well it's amazing with the the guys that used to strap themselves to telephone poles near the ocean. Do you remember those? The storm watchers? Yeah, they strapped themselves in.

And yeah, I mean, I think it is a great way to watch the storm. And ultimately, the big payoff is one of them dies. You know, that's kind of what you're watching for. I was not, in fairness. I was not. But I did want to see. And also, they're're like tons of comments. Is he dead?

Because his thing will go down and it'll be down for like five minutes, you know, his feed. And it's just, you know, blank screen. But, um, well, my godmother left, she's in Bonita Springs, which is like in the center of where it hit. And so she left town on Monday and she drove to my mom's cause my mom, my mom's on the East coast where it was fine. And, uh, she found out today from a neighbor that her house is still there,

but like the water stopped a half a block from her house, the flooding, it came right up. And so, but there's no electricity, but she's going back today to check on her house. Wow. Yeah, no, it was hit hard yeah uh my dad my dad's on you know by your mom too but my dad lost power like two or three times even though even though he's uh literally on the atlantic like he's he was

really spared also when it came on land he going to be spared watching the podcast this week, too. What do you mean? He won't have electricity. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He will be spared of that. But no, no. They got it back like right away. But like Miami, you know, all that Fort Lauderdale, Palm Beach, they missed, you know, so much. They didn't even get a lot, that much rain.

So they fared really well. Which is weird because sometimes that's the spot that the hurricanes hit that's the path it takes a lot is that right along that part of the east coast there was also another guy a lot of people were following and it was he's called like beyond weatherman or whatever but this guy is from louisiana but he was in wisconsin now but he i guess weather is this guy's thing and so he had a ponytail he's like in his late 50s he looks like he was 70 and he had the map up behind you and he would tell you like it was really like a meteorologist knowledge he would say well this is what we're watching he's like wow this is really

unpredictable and he would and he kept clicking like a million different overlays that were studying temperature water temperature you know all this stuff but uh he was a very calming presence unlike that guy he's like you know what i think it's being downgraded a little but he was very calming until he started saying prayers and uh he's very very religious oh shit. And he would read comments and he'd be like, well, yes, that's what Jesus, you know, is, you know, that's why we do this in the name of Jesus. And all of a sudden I was like very rattled by all of a sudden there was an alarmist. And this is my reaction. I'll own it. But it was like, no, I'm no longer calm.

Like this guy, like this guy is waiting for the apocalypse. Damn. Yeah. Shout out to Michael Solomon who did our logo for this week. Little shout out to the queen. Very cool. Look at you. He actually made that a long time ago, but I found it.

I remembered in the folder we had this. So we pulled it out. I look pretty. It's a good folder we had this. So we pulled it out. I look pretty. It's a good look for both of us. Yeah. And then the song was from Crintet featuring Elle, which I think is his daughter. And it's adorable. And again, we are getting to the end of the music folder.

Yeah. Very cool. Corrections. we are getting to the end of the music folder. Yeah. Very cool. Corrections. Carl Lydon said your office isn't indiscriminate. It's nondescript. Okay. That's fair.

I think indiscriminate means keep a low profile. Yeah. And what does nondescript mean? Or are you thinking discreet? Are you thinking discreet? Indiscriminate? No, isn't it indiscriminate? You're not discerning?

Not discerning. I don't know. I wonder if my little telephone here would do it. Nondescript means it's, you know, blah. Yeah. Yeah, my office needs a makeover. It's worth describing. I need one of those shows where five gay guys comes into my office and makes it fabulous. I need one where five gay guys come in and help my vocabulary.

Indiscriminate. Here is the definite. Done at random and without careful judgment. See? I would say my office is indiscriminate. Not exercising discrimination well i've rarely have black people in my office okay you would if you were in atlanta right i've had like i don't know why it was like black history month on my podcast the last couple months

i've had almost all black guests all right you're a little late you're a little late to the party but i like it um or early um also morgan haradiki haradiki i've never seen hr in a name that's the last name is h-r-a-d-e-c-k-y um mother love bone was pearl jam Love Bone was Pearl Jam until Andrew Wood the singer died then Eddie Vedder took over and they wrote 10 so I said 10 was the first Pearl Jam album and in fact yeah it was what he's trying to say is that there was a there was an incarnation

of Pearl Jam before they were Pearl Jam but that doesn't count your Pearl Jam knowledge drives Dickie crazy by the way dickie's a very big pearl jam fan yeah from rosie's bagels uh and then we got another person i forgot to write their name down fuji's album the score was their second album blunted on reality was their first love your show boys much love from an Englishman that escaped to New Zealand. Fuck the inbred monarchy. Well, now that's not nice.

You read it. Also, I think Dickie had pointed out that you had Damn the Torpedoes as Tom Petty's first album, which it is not. It's not? It's not? Yeah, I mean, I'm taking Dickie's word for it. I mean, I don't know. Let's see. You go ahead. You want to Let's see. You go ahead.

You want to read this out while I look it up? You go ahead. Denman can look this up. Oh, no, do your dates. I've got some tour dates coming up. New Orleans this weekend, October 6th at the Howlin' Wolf. Lafayette, Louisiana, October 7th at Club 337. Chicago, October 15th at the Den Theater.

Come out and meet my son. He'll be in the audience. San Francisco, November 3rd through 5th at the Punchline. November 16th at Oklahoma City. Tampa and Fort Worth also coming up in November. So go to FitzDawg.com. Get some tickets. Get them because they're going to sell out because I just promoted all these dates on Rogan and all these other places.

So I have a feeling we're going to get some good crowds as opposed to the usual shows. Here's what we have for advertising this week. We have our good friends at Policy Genius, not an insurance company. It's a marketplace that helps insurers shop their multiple options, compare quotes. It's pretty amazing. And if you don't have... I mean, I bought life insurance when my kids were little. And of all the stress you have in your life about raising kids,

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I looked up Tom Petty's first album not surprisingly it's called tom petty and the heartbreakers yeah and uh and i knew this track was on the first album i would have lost a lot of money betting it was track number 10 out of 10 but that is american girl oh i bet there's a story like it was maybe added. You know, you hear all these stories of like songs we all now love where there was an album and then they got a note like you need a single. You need a single on. You know, some some ad exec saying it like it's an easy thing to add. And then meanwhile, those last minute ads have sometimes really paid off. I don't know if that's a story.

There's a famous example of that um under the bridge by uh by red hot chili peppers was was a single they needed to add and well i know he didn't think it was anything and he was at rick rubin's and rick rubin was going like he's like well let me what's in your journal he's like going like, he's like, well, let me, what's in your journal? He's like, what's that? He's like, oh no, man, that's like a sad, that's sad. Like that's low key sad. And he told him to do something with it. And it was a hit. And it was a hit.

The suits are always right. Fuck the music. Fuck the artists. The suits are always right. Let's get to the front page. Do it. That's a real crisp newspaper Extra! Extra!

We all love it! Extra! You want to read it? No, this is your story A woman spent three days in the hospital This I put purposefully as the first story Because when it comes to Sunday papers It's the important hard-hitting stories That we want to hit you with a woman i had the hurricane first and it got moved

for this a woman spent three days in the hospital after her daughter's dog accidentally i don't know accidentally did a poo on her face while she was asleep amanda gomo, 51, was taking an afternoon nap with Chihuahua Belle when the pooch became ill and had violent diarrhea. Violent? The mom of three was asleep with her mouth open.

And then when the messy accident occurred and got in her mouth, she ran to the bathroom to be sick, but later ended up in the hospital with a gastrointestinal infection passed on from the pet. And alas, a new porn category on an ex-hamster. Did a gomo.

What a name, gomo. The dog did a gomo. You know, I could see Brulee doing this and being very into it. Brulee, it just was one little, instead of biting someone's face while they napped, which, was that Tom O'Neill? Yeah, yeah. Just pull a gomo right in the mouth.

I got gomoed. And that, by the way, is the worst part of that. Or Bruleed. You get Brulee. That's the worst part of the afternoon nap is waking up with that shit breath. Yeah, violent diarrhea. this is your story also white house officials work to explain why president joe biden called out the name of a deceased congresswoman as if she were still alive at an event on hunger and

nutrition jackie are you here where's jackie he said at the at the event referencing representative jackie walarski who was killed in a car accident during the summer oh no white house press secretary karen jean-pierre told reporters that the president had walarski on quote top of mind at the event as she had helped organize it so um i see dead people they've always said he has six cents this is not going to go well for the democrats when biden announces his re-election campaign and he replaces kamala with jackie jack hey where's jackie right by my side always oh my god can you imagine yeah the next campaign just imagine the republicans have got this clip queued up in edit bays yeah just waiting for the election to start i mean just

just run that just run that and then say and then put a question mark and end of commercial uh poor jackie what the hell happened there car i don't know for me i think i'd be like if i had that job or you if you or i had that job but we can't even recall names when we do this podcast and we prep for it i would be calling jackie's name out constantly i would be assigning her work and then blaming her when shit didn't happen well you know this was really a jackie thing yeah exactly oh yeah florida um i'm gonna put jackie on it i'm gonna you're gonna be taken care of this is the federal response because you play so nice with the federal government and uh so i'm gonna put jackie on this you You know, DeSantis, when he was in Congress, he voted against any federal funding for Hurricane Sandy in the Northeast.

And now he desperately wants the federal funding and is thanking the federal government. Of course. So socialism. So I could see Biden like not letting that slide and be like, yeah, you know what? DeSantis, why don't you talk to Jackie? Yeah. Talk to Jackie. That's the new talk to the hand. All right. In what was my lead story, hurricane Ian and basically this was, I would, this falls under the banner of some Floridians don't give a shit about warnings or evacuations.

Now this will seem like we are making fun of these people and that's because we are. And, and I know it's serious, but there were so many warnings and evacuation orders and it's getting blurred that like three days earlier fort myers wasn't even in the cone i've read the articles about like the whole west coast was in the cone uh whatever it was a hundred hour at the hundred hour before mark and um and they kept saying how unpredictable it was so anyway here, here we go. Fort Myers, Florida. Kathy Sharp believed she would be safe at the Thunderbird Park, a mobile home community for retirees.

First of all, wrong. That statement is never correct. For the most part, you are never safe in a mobile home park. The rich had figured out so early on what the best land is, least threatened by tornado alleys, fire, liquefaction, hurricane storm pads, flooding, all of that stuff. And the last people who get to choose where they're going to be are the mobile home parks.

And that's just the weather part of not being safe. How about your neighbors? How about never answer the door? For days, forecasters had indicated Hurricane Ian was headed to the area, yet many described being caught off guard. Sharp looked out a window and notices pieces of her neighbor's roof flying into the air. Not long after, her own home started to break apart,

the fierce wind ripping aluminum siding into the swirl of airborne debris and then she says this it was just like a river out of nowhere there was nothing there and then all of a sudden there was like a foot of water in the house out of nowhere you were told for a week that this is exactly what would happen. The storm surge, they knew the timing of it. They knew where the tide would be. This out of nowhere thing is crazy. You're in the cone of potential destruction. Weatherman had already been blown down your block like hours before on TV.

Yeah, if you see a guy with a microphone in his hand doing cartwheels down your block, it's time to go visit your sister in Orlando. And nowhere doesn't exist anymore. It is out of somewhere. Very much somewhere. Like it is coming from the ocean, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Everett Bailey, 56, said he was asleep on the couch. Asleep. Like, I didn't sleep in LA watching this thing like I wouldn't find got those storm chasers his dog his dog was in a low crouch right over his face he imagined like all right we are in the path of destruction all models are now saying it's definitely coming our way I'm gonna snuggle up on the couch and take a little snooze.

I'm going to take a little category four nap. He woke up to see water starting to spill into his one story home. He immediately waded through the flood to get to his car. Quote, the water was in the car, too, he said. He said he slept. He slept through the water filling his car and then started to come in his house a few doors away. And Dalton 70 experienced the scariest night of her life. Quote, the weird thing is it was like a river of currents. It was not calm water at all.

She said it was pulsating and it was pulsating under the water too wait ann are you saying the ocean during a hurricane ain't calm is that what i didn't find my house flooding but it was the riptide that was kind of getting to me i think water is pretty this water was not pretty it was not pretty at all at one point dalton's husband oliver martin looked outside their window and saw a school of fish oh god okay in another subdivision laurent bocce 58 estimated that ian brought a 13 foot storm toward his home quote it was just like five or six hours of pure madness said bocce who was essentially trapped in his subdivision i was able to sit in a chair and just watch the water and debris come in and in what are you doing sitting in your chair those are three

ins in your quote how about after the first in you get out yeah yeah i think out out yeah right wow and again we're not making fun of these people no we are we're making fun of these people bocce's neighbor karen moore said she will never again underestimate a hurricane that line got me like did you not know what a hurricane is? There's nothing to describe a weather event more powerful in terms of a storm. There's tropical storms, ferocious winds. Those are all below a hurricane. Karen, this is like saying on a scale of one to 10, I will never underestimate a 10 out of 10 again.

Yeah, right. And not just a hurricane, a category five hurricane. Yeah. again yeah right and not just a hurricane a category five hurricane yeah she goes i was holding my front door because of the wind and i didn't know what else to do she said i didn't know what else to do i thought the ocean was going to come through you mean just like they said it would i know a couple of things you could have done i know other things you could have done deborah clark 57 and her husband have lived in their 40 foot trailer for the past two years while they build a house nearby nearby at 8.

A.M. Deborah Clark woke up as her unit began shaking quote. My gut said, this is bad. Wait, Deborah, this is way past the gut call. A gut call is when there's no evidence and you like have a bad feeling

about something. But when you know, when you've been told your home is going to blow away, that's not a gut feeling. That's a brain call. How about making some brain calls or some eye calls or some ear calls? When they peeked out the window, the couple saw, quote, roofs going by and insulation floating down the street at one point a neighbor's washing machine was sucked out of a home another neighbor's 600 pound toolbox floated away yeah my gut's not feeling good about this and then they uh so sharp uh and her husband watched from a kitchen table and prayed, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Quote, we were just sitting there in the water. She said, adding this storm made me a true believer of the power of wind and water. Also, I learned it's called a hurricane. I won't forget that word again. I kept thinking Jesus was going gonna come down to tampa and part the seas it said it in the book i read it we've said this joke before but it's never more

appropriate than now but there's that i'll move it along but that classic old joke about a guy evacuation so they you know send the jeep there and he's like you got to evacuate there's going to be flash floods and all that and he's like no no the good lord the good lord will you know take care of me and everything then they pull up in a boat because it's already a river in his street no no same thing then a helicopter this is it man your house is about to be blown anyway the guy died doesn't go dies and he gets to heaven god's like what were you thinking man he's like what was i thinking i i thought you were gonna like there'd be intervention you'd send me a. God's like, what were you thinking, man? He's like, what was I thinking? I thought you were going to like, there'd be intervention. You'd send me a sign. He's like, I sent you a Jeep, a boat and a helicopter. And that's what's going on here.

Yeah. I mean, it is, it's Jesus. It's like, you know, it's not like you live in a state that doesn't have hurricanes. Like this is something that you should be prepared for on an annual basis. I know. And when you see it coming, I mean, it had been talked about for a week and a half and then it hits Cuba. And the only thing that's then for certain is they're like, this is going to hit the West Coast of Florida and it could be anywhere. Then they narrowed it on Tampa and then they kept saying it was unpredictable though and sure enough it was 95 i think it's 95 miles south as the crow flies to fort myers but uh listen and i understand if people want to stay in their house and like that's the way i'll go out if i go out but when you're then causing all these resources to be spent on you and and you're exasperated and you're like talking to the news i kind of respect i guess

the people who were like maybe even died or they're not talking to the news but they stayed in their house and it's a shit show but they did not want to leave it like i get that yeah but these but these people uh who are surprised that's what i don't get people are gonna laugh at me when i get stabbed staying in Venice all these years. Right. We all saw it coming, Greg. Yeah. And all you did was sit at your table and wonder, why am I being stabbed right now? I'm being actively stabbed and I'm praying.

I'm praying on it. My gut says it's being stabbed right now. Don't stab me in my gut. I won't have any sense of what to do oh my god well listen uh the so many people lost everything it is tragic down there uh all the people that evacuated the ones that didn't i mean it it was crazy. And I guess the response has been pretty good. Oh, no, there's people, I mean, the other states that have shown up, like, you know, all the neighboring states, people had just, like, you know, construction vehicles

and ambulances and everything lined up, and they all just descended on Florida right after. It's been a great effort. What I feel bad for is, like, the next couple to get trying to get your homes fixed you know trying to get fucking you know materials and labor to get your life back in order again that's the hardest part after these things and there's so many fucking charlotte charlatans charlatans charlatans that show up and they take from charlotte shit right that's why they call them charlatans charlatans that show up and they take from charlotte right that's why they call them charlatans and uh and they take big deposits and then they just disappear and they don't do any

work and people are so desperate that they they pay it i didn't see it coming he said he was going to fix everything and my gut told me i could trust him you know i decided not to use my head because my gut was really burning and i thought that's telling me take give the money honey we might listen look out the window there's a school of fish we might be in trouble here according to my gut do we live in an aquarium because my gut says a school that there should be a school of fish in our living room window and by the way i cut the line but the husband then goes and these weren't like very small fish like a foot or bigger like that was literally in there

did you feed the fish oh wait a minute we don't have an aquarium that's our lawn our cat's having a time i'll tell you this so confused honey did you put a 60 pound toolbox in the aquarium 600 by the way 600 floating away i doubt it could i doubt it could rip me away. I mean, I'm because I weigh 650 pounds. All right. On to lighter fare. First openly transgender army officer indicted. The Justice Department accused an army doctor and a Johns Hopkins anesthesiologist of conspiring to provide the Russian government with medical information about U.S. soldiers and their relatives. The indictment names Jamie Lee Henry, an Army major at Fort Bragg, who had a secret security clearance, and Henry's spouse, Anna Gabrielle Gabrielen, a Russian speaker who is affiliated with Johns Hopkins.

Anyway, the anesthesiologist told the undercover agent during an August 17th meeting that, quote, she was motivated by patriotism toward Russia to provide any assistance she could to Russia, even if it meant being fired or going to jail.

The two of them gave the undercover agent medical information on at least six patients and highlighted a medical issue that Russia could exploit. So goddamn women soldiers, medical information on at least six patients and highlighted a medical issue that russia could exploit so goddamn women soldiers man that's the problem as i see it the problem i mean really no hints that this might be somebody who likes to go undercover

at all that she likes pretending yeah that you you might be fooled by appearances you might be fooled by this person's appearances that's that's all i'm telling very unpredictable and they say transgender women in the military have no balls come on big set of balls on this one meanwhile putin's probably like don't don't get any more information from her, please. It's just not a good look for us. We're about, you know,

60 years behind here. Yeah. I feel a bit mixed about this information. Yeah. Um, good news. You know what I'm doing with pussy right here, right?

I'm locking them up. Any chance I, every chance I get. Yeah. Um, right here right i'm locking them up any chance every chance i get yeah um good news for gubbins we don't have anything we got a couple letters saying they don't like us talking about gubbins which just makes me feel like we need to do more good news for gubbins but we don't have he's in eugene for the game and? And my niece is there, so he was going to maybe look her up at one point. Really? Okay, that's a party.

He knows Caroline. Yeah, he's played beer pong with her and all that stuff. Okay. And Dennis, like he's the mayor of Venice, was the mayor of Eugene for a little while. Entertainment. You got it, pal. Oh, yeah, I have entertainment. You got it, pal. Oh yeah, I have some entertainment stories that I didn't jot down. I thought I put a story in, but I don't see it here.

I haven't, um, I didn't touch it. I didn't see Bowie yet. I really want to. Yeah, we're going to do that when I get back in IMAX. Let's do it on Monday or Tuesday night. Have you seen, seen uh have you continued to watch the old man i watched there's seven or eight episodes i watched one short of them and i gave up i quit there's just some gaping gaping grand canyon like holes yeah I heard it loses its way I uh on the plane here I watched um

Patton Oswalt's movie I think it's called I Love You Dad and pretty good like it's a pretty cool premise which I won't talk about and but then it kind of had no ending and so I was like you know we talked about this last week, a writing drill, or if you're in this business, instead of just making fun of it or walking out of the movie or changing the channel, try to fix it in your head. What would you have done differently? So I started to jot down and I have this movie idea and I'm like, oh, this is inspiring. I'm going to do it.

And then I literally put in a dragon, a half hour. I went at it. Right. And then I realized, you know, very quickly, like, yeah, Jesus, man is act two. If there's three acts, act two is, is a, is the tough one. Like, how do you get that right? And all, anyway, I then got exhausted. I'm like, all right, let me watch something else. I'm like, oh yeah. You know what I haven't seen in a while? Adaptation. Totally not knowing what I was turning on because it is literally about trying to

write a screenplay and how he's pulling out his hair constantly masturbating and that movie which won oscars is so goddamn good charlie kaufman charlie kaufman directed by Spike Jones, Nicholas Cage playing two roles, twin brothers. It's so, so good. It's amazing. And it's a great soundtrack. Chris Cooper's amazing. And you know what I realized? Chris Cooper in the movie, the more I'm watching it, because I haven't seen it since it came out, Chris Cooper is playing, did you listen to the podcast S-Town? Shit Town? Yeah, yeah. Well, there was a few of them. The first one was about Providence, I think.

Oh, no, I'm thinking of Crime Town. Shit Town was the one set in the deep south, right? In Louisiana? I'll call him this genius hick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Southern guy who was one of the leading experts on clocks. Right. And I am telling you, it's as if charlie kaufman knew obviously there are people like that it was as if though he knew that guy and based chris cooper's character because like

whatever he did he was kind of like smarter than the you know the average bear at and like successful at and totally marched to his own drummer and you would think he was the biggest idiot based on appearances you know yeah yeah that was a great film and then um yeah who did the soundtrack i remember really liking the soundtrack for adaptation um let's see if chris can put it in entertainment yeah there you go i mean meryl streep's in it. It's incredible. Speaking of shitting on shows, I think me and Rogan might have sunk... What's it called? Kingdom of Dragons?

The new... What is the dragon show? We shit all over it because they... I don't know. I don't care from spoiling it. The new episode, which was last week, has a whole new cast because they had aged like 10 years, so they hired all new actors. And you just went like, wait a minute. I was hanging on to this show by a thread.

I was waiting for the plot to kick in. I was waiting for some more dragon fights. I was waiting for one of the other five kingdoms to get involved in the storyline and instead they fire the cast and they bring in a bunch of new people and uh and none of them were as good as the original ones and i'm fucking done so anyway we shit on it on this podcast and then i thought later wow that's gonna hurt them he i think he has a real effect on how many people watch a tv show and i think a lot of his audience well a lot of the people you can't if you couldn't talk them out of you know they have to see for themselves house of the dragon and well you're saving me time because i certainly have

other things i should watch before that but you know i put off game of thrones for the longest time and then the new york times came out and i think a bunch of people did saying if you watch one episode a day you'll be caught up by the final season of game of thrones and so that's what i did and i it's in my top three shows of all time which is shocking to me yeah but this i wanted to try i mean they're amazing storytellers the people involved and i'm surprised this is as bad as it is there was i really liked the uh the young uh queen character the one who becomes the queen she was great and they replaced her and i i just did and i and i like the the, the perverted uncle.

Those are the only two. And I just, I don't know. I didn't know there was a pervert. Oh, maybe I will give it a chance. Hey, now. And then what else did I want to talk about? Oh, here we go. Here's the soundtrack.

It had Beck performed. Wild Horses by the Stones. Yep, I remember that. I saw that. Happy Together by Gary Bonner. We all love that. Yeah. Oh, and Nicolas Cage performed Happy Together.

What? The turtle song? Wow. Do you remember that? Not yet. it hasn't gotten there yet okay he's masturbating a lot he's racked oh he goes to his he goes to his agent's office and um and his agent is there he is subhuman i think it's been established. Nicholas Cage hasn't slept in three days. He's like, I can't do this. We have to, you have to get me out of this deal and all this.

And his agent's like, see that girl over there, like through glass windows. I fucked her up the ass. That's amazing. Yeah. Nicholas Cage is like, what? It's great. All right here it is folks the section you've all been waiting for make america florida man was quote protected by his woman a florida woman used duct tape tarps blankets pillows and zip ties to secure her paralyzed husband to his hospital bed as hurricane ian battered their punta gorda home quote i took some blankets and I put some holes in them with scissors and I zip tied them to the hospital bed.

And then I took a big tarp that had grommets and I zip tied that over it. And then I put pillows over his face. No, she didn't do that. And then I put pillows. And then I heard there might be an earthquake coming. And I peed all over him. might be an earthquake coming and i peed all over him i put pillows and plastic bags and i duct taped them to the top of the sideboard and i put pillows between the sideboard and the window because i didn't want him to get cut up to death if the window blew in and then i put a life jacket

on him so that if the water came in he wouldn't drown he would float after ensuring her husband's safety she hid under the kitchen table and made quote a fort with pillows and blankets um is this a woman or a child and does she know the difference between a hurricane and a tornado yeah and then i tried to find the wizard but all i found was a tin man um once i got him covered it's just super tight with belts and tarps and pillows all around him i then clicked my heels as many times as i could and tried to get out of there by the way nobody wanted to tell her the hurricane wouldn't be anywhere near Miami. And nothing's better than being a paralyzed guy floating adrift in a life jacket in shark-infested water. It's like fucking veal for the sharks.

They're like, hey, check this. This guy's tender. I'm sure the bed wouldn't capsize and now he's just tied to it. I put weights all around it so he wouldn't blow away and then a life jacket so he'd float. Wait a minute. Can you imagine if you make it through that hurricane and you're floating in a life jacket paralyzed, you'd just be like, please, someone take this jacket off me. Can I go down with some dignity here? Imagine him floating by a Coast Guard rescue boat.

And he's just like, he's like, please, please. He can only move his head. Please tell me my wife's dead. Please tell me. Please tell me she didn't make it. Look what she did to me. Please tell me she didn't make it. Look what she did to me. Meanwhile, she's like duct taping him around and around the bed. And he's like, shouldn't we go to the gym at the school where all our neighbors have gone?

Shouldn't we go upstairs? We have friends on the 38th floor. She then carefully put a cinder block between his ankles and smashed his feet was that misery yeah yeah all right here we go it's time to go international all right Nicaragua President Daniel Ortega has issued another statement against the Catholic Church describing the religious institution as a, quote, perfect dictatorship for not allowing members of the church to elect the pope. Al Jazeera News reported that everything in the Catholic Church is, quote, imposed, adding that it is a

perfect tyranny ortega said that if the church were to start going democratic it should start with catholics voting for the cardinals for the bishops imagine imagine if they i mean look this makes perfect fucking sense but imagine the campaign ads Probably want to avoid the cliche of kissing little kids. But this is his problem with the Catholic Church? Yeah. I don't know about that. I think there's bigger fish to fry here. Here's one of the campaign ads.

I'm Cardinal Fernandez, and I promise to bring crispier body of Christ wafers. What am I doing, an Irish accent accent I don't know what just happened there I didn't even I couldn't even stick to my Florida accent I don't know what I was doing I'm Cardinal Fernandez and I promise to bring crispier I can't I can't do a Spanish accent

I'm not going to try crispier body of Christ wafers and replace the wine with tequila. There's your word. By the way, I once heard Cardinal Diaz confessions, and it's not pretty. He has thought, oh, adios mio, the thoughts he's had. It's not adios mio. It's Dios mio.

it's Dios mio adios mio I think means bye to me which might work here oh bye to me the thoughts adios mio that's what it's literally written as in the script my kids are fluent in Spanish they're both fluent both of them are fluent

adios mio adios mio They're both fluent. Both of them are fluent. Adios, mio. Adios, mio. Then you're going to confuse it. Dios, muchacho. Oh, God. All right. Here comes sports. sports a neuroscientist who specializes in concussions called for the miami dolphins medical staff and coaches to be fired after quarterback tua tagovlia i have no idea how

to pronounce his name was hospitalized did you see thursday night's game yeah we were watching it live it was disturbing see i didn't see it so i guess brutal head injury during the game thursday night he had to be taken out on a stretcher um uh let's see here uh but this guy this this neuroscientist he was specializes in c, and he was enraged that the Dolphins allowed the quarterback to play after he was injured during a game against the Buffalo Bills on Sunday. He called the new injury a, quote, disaster and shared a message he'd posted before the game warning about the potential consequences if he was injured again. Quote, fire the medical staffs and coaches i predicted this

and i hate that i am right two concussions in five days can kill someone this can end careers how are we so stupid in 2022 he wrote he later added you guys should go to jail for letting him play five days after an obvious concussion that you covered up. If he dies from second impact syndrome, I'm pushing for murder charges. So I had never heard of this second impact syndrome. Meanwhile, my Jets roster, the whole roster is suffering from zero impact syndrome. Wait a minute.

Yeah. Wait a minute. The Jets have, but they've had two wins this season, haven't they? Zero, no, they're just ruining their future draft choices. Yeah. Oh, that's true. How many years can they just shoot for good draft choices?

Well, it's going on 55 now, I think. Is it 55 years since they won? Well, let's do the math. 1969. 1969. So 53rd year right now. Wow. Unbelievable. Yeah. And meanwhile, year right now. Wow. Unbelievable.

Yeah. And meanwhile, you're in a major media city. You've got a huge budget. How do you fail with that much money? The Yankees buy championships. You can't do that. Buy one. But do they?

I've heard people argue that the Yankees actually have had a great farm system and they were one of the first teams to develop a great farm system. No, no. They obviously do. And you see all the homegrown stars like Jeter and like, you know, the Williams and like especially from those years. Now, I've stopped following them, but maybe it's the same. Like I don't know where Judge came from, but they, but listen, they're like the elite team.

So I think it's easy for them to get people lining up to be in their farm system, you know? And also as you're a key or a 17 year old kid, you're like, where do you want to go? Like if you, if your goal is a world series ring, yeah, that's a pretty great farm system to get into. Not to mention like you can play in fucking Milwaukee. You can live in Milwaukee or you can live in the big Apple. Yeah.

Yeah. Milwaukee getting a lot of shout outs lately because of this Dahmer special that's on Netflix. Holy shit. I can't wait. It's cannot wait. It's the, it's a,

it's a limited series. you seen guys great yeah i've seen the first two oh wow it's listen i think it's a little slow it's also very gay um you know dommer was but you know it's it's ryan murphy so it's a little in my opinion he goes a little over the top of things for sure and uh but you know the lead guy we you fell in love with him also from murder dirter from uh mayor of east town he was her partner who she got killed and he was the best character in the whole series right evan peters yeah he's from st lou Louis. Look at that. He has a special quality about his eyes.

Cause I was like, you know, he's in Dahmer, like, um, you know, look, you know, with the,

with Dahmer's hair, Dahmer's glasses and Dahmer's mustache. And I'm like that, wait a minute. I know that guy. And it's all his eyes. He's great. Damn your eyes. Damn your eyes.

Damn your eyes. As far as our bet goes, as people know, we've got a bet going for this is the third season in a row where we've had a standing Buccaneers bet. I take the Buccaneers with points, or I should say mostly giving points. This week, I'm actually getting a point from Kansas City, and we're playing at home at Tampa Bay. This is

a fucking slam dunk. I will challenge you to double the bet this week to $100 from $50. You should be up $150 because you only lost by two points. I know. Last week. Wait, was the real score two points?

Yeah, the Packers won by two. We lost to the Packers by two points, and the spread was like two and a half or something. Or one and a half. Yeah, whatever it was. I lost. I think it was like our difference was like a half a point or something. I think whatever.

It was so close. So you're fucked this week. I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that. Bring it tell you that bring it on bring it on um they're gonna win one you know what they're also gonna try to win one for florida yeah you have that going for you yeah all right let's go to science blinded me a chemical release during sex could become a new treatment for heart attack patients oxycot oxytocin sorry called the love hormone

helps heal the organ by boosting production of stem cells researchers at michigan state say here we show that oxytocin also known known as the love hormone, is capable of activating heart repair mechanisms in injured hearts of zebrafish and human cell cultures, opening the door to potential new therapies for heart regeneration in humans. And just because of this, Greg, I am proactively taking ecstasy from now on. Oh, so before the podcast, it'll be a little riddle and a little ecstasy? I'm thinking. I'm thinking so. I mean, ecstasy used to be prescribed. Why are we?

I know it might do long-term damage and you won't be able to produce serotonin and oxytocin on your own, I guess. But my gut tells me that's not true. Yeah, as long as your gut tells you that's all that matters um so they found this out studying injured hearts in zebrafish by the way the scientists pointed out that a zebrafish is a really good fuck so i mean that's just a corollary advancement i thought by the i generally i didn't know what when i first saw this article i was like because i saw oxytocin i saw the chemicals and i also saw like found is found in like mdma or you know what mdma releases and stuff and and they're talking about uh damaged hearts and i'm

like is this about heartbreak is this like yeah yeah anyone can tell you ecstasy will help help heal heal your heart for a couple of hours for sure yeah um so yeah i didn't know they were talking about so when they're talking about the hearts that are damaged because i was like all right how are zebrafish getting damaged hearts and they're talking about from attacks where part of the heart is eaten by another predator and they regenerate parts including a heart oh interesting that that wily little zebrafish damn yep uh let's get to this day in history let's do it. In 1780, this was a very big day. I grew up in Tarrytown, New York, and this is the second most historic day in Tarrytown history.

Wow. October 2nd. The first was when Caitlyn Jenner won the Olympics in 1976. Caitlyn Jenner did not win the Olympics. You're allowed to historically say his name. Can you? Yes. All right.

So, yeah, I'm not going to say it. I mean, you're not going to go back and scratch his name off any trophy that it's on. Well, his name is all over the local high school because he won. She won all the sports records, the track and field records back in Sleepy Hollow High School. Anyway, in 1780, Benedict Arnold, accomplice, hanged 30-year-old British major John Andre, is hanged as a spy by U.S. military forces. They called it Tappan, New York, because that's what Tarrytown was called back then. But it was in Patriot's Park.

There was this park in Tarrytown called Patriots Park, and it was famous because this motherfucker, they caught him. He had papers. So wait, it's a little unclear. So in Tarrytown, Benedict Arnold wasn't hanged there. This was his accomplice, John Andre? John Andre, yes, John Andre. He was an accomplice.

He was captured by the Patriots, and they found incriminating papers in his boot. And he was returning from a meeting with Benedict Arnold, who was also a spy, and he had offered to surrender the strategic Hudson River fort to British for a bribe of $20,000. Wow. So when he heard about

Andre's capture, Benedict Arnold fled to the British worship vulture and subsequently joined the British in their fight against the Patriots. He was sentenced to death and Andre was then hung like a fucking traitor that he was.

What became of benedict arnold uh well he fought against the uh the you know i know but then british then what was he was he hanged uh i used to know this stuff benedict arnold i'm gonna just put benedict Benedict Arnold hanged and see what happens. Oh, my God. We were out with some friends at Joe Rogan's last night, and one of them was saying that she was looking up. Oh, wait, was it... Benedict Arnold died in London, dude.

Oh, all right. So I guess he survived the war. Let's see his cause of death. This is the opening line on Benedict Arnold's cause of death. After years of suffering from gout and other health conditions arnold died in london at age 60. what no he failed in several business ventures in britain and Canada. And he died in 1801. How did he get away?

How did he get? I like this guy. Yeah. Oh. So anyway, so we were out with these people last night. And the woman said that they every year for Christmas, like our christmas movie is always elf we watch it every single year on christmas eve so we were talking about that and she goes ours was always die hard and i which i guess i didn't think of it but that's a christmas movie remember he's trying

to get home to his family for christmas and she goes until my friend said but you know they say buttfuck in die hard it's not really a kid's movie and she's like there's no way I've watched it every year they don't say butt fuck in Die Hard and he's like google it so she googles Die Hard butt fuck and his fucking screen pops up with the most heinous gay porn

she's like my whole browser history got rearranged from one Google search. We know your type. The algorithm has seen this plenty of times. Die hard. All right, let's do some letters to the editor. Sure thing. Wade Daniels says, you've mentioned George Washington on Sunday papers. A professor of Native American studies told me that the tribes referred to George Washington as, quote, burner of villages.

Damn. Yeah, he killed a lot of indigenous people. Well, that's the thing to remember, too, the Revolutionary War that we're talking about, Benedict Arnold trading. Well, that's the thing to remember, too. The Revolutionary War that we're talking about, Benedict Arnold trading. You know, we talked about it last week, that line that it's a bunch of white slave owners who didn't want to pay taxes anymore. Like nothing, very few things in history are black and white and that clear. Yeah. Andrew Patterson said on a recent episode, you were talking about how tattoo artists learn. I have been tattooing for around half my life.

I learned on grapefruits, bananas, and human skin. Grapefruit Simmons. Grapefruit Simmons. I tattooed myself and friends more than anything. Now when I teach someone, they start on fake skin. It's a shitty rubber that's nothing like the real thing, but it's great for getting a feel for the machine. Then they tattoo friends for free. It normally doesn't take...

That's the thing. There's certain things you want for free. Movie tickets, passes to a parade. Are you there? Did you freeze? Red Bulls Red Bulls

at a street festival Those are things you want for free Tattoos Pay for the fucking tattoo Pay as much as you can It's gonna be on you forever Get the greatest tattoo

you can afford Dude What's that on your back? Oh yeah man It was free My friend's learning to be a target he's like it says die hard butt fuck in giant letters down your whole back it does i shouldn't have got it on my back he said it was popeye with a can of spinach in his arm that's what i asked for ross tokosh says uh oh we we asked people what their ideas were

for the best first albums we we touched on this earlier but yes submissions this this gentleman ross says uh i'm a big weezer fan which means i'm a 35 year old white virgin uh i find something i love about all their albums old and new. I was never a big Weezer fan. I mean, yeah, they get a couple hits. Oh, I loved Weezer. He said their debut album is pretty undeniably one of the best first albums of a band. He also said, and then

Kip Woxland said Nine Inch Nails, pretty hate machine. I have a very hard time listening to an entire Nine Inch Nails album I mean you gotta be in a fucking ramped up mood To match the intensity of Nine Inch Nails Well they have very ethereal mellow stuff

But it is haunting though No matter what there's tension It's intense Yeah Radiohead, Pablo Honey Great album I mean it's hard to look back on that because of what they the next album the Benz was well the Benz was you know the bridge between the

Radiohead we know now and like you know rock and uh oh my god so it's very hard for me to look back on Pablo Honey Rage Against the Machine was the next one here on this list. By the way, Pablo Honey is, you know what that reference is, right? No. The Jerky Boys. In one of the prank phone calls, it's a woman's voice going, Pablo Honey, don't. You don't remember that?

I am doubting that Radiohead listened to the Jerky Boys. Chris Denman, can you look up what Pablo Honey refers to? I know. I just assume that because it's a funny line from the Jerky Boys, Pablo Honey. And then he said Rage Against the Machine, self-titled. Dude, that album is so strong. Yeah.

Yeah, bomb track. track track one first album killing in the name of track two it's crazy outcast southern play southern play a listic idyllic music um i love you did great there speaker box was the album of theirs that I loved it was a double album and Big Boy was one album and then what's his name was the other album oh here it comes here the album title comes from a prank called

prank call sketch by the Jerky Boys in which the caller poses as the victim's mother and says Pablo honey please come to Florida York said it was appropriate as the band's mother, and says, Pablo, honey, please come to Florida. York said it was appropriate as the band were mother's boys. A sample of the sketch appears during the guitar solo on How Do You. Radiohead listened to the Jerky Boys.

That's amazing. I was obsessed with the Jerky Boys. Oh, please. Just in case. I don't see so good, God it rizzo and i'll bring all my glasses then sandalwood i don't know what the fuck it's unbelievable by the way if anyone is listening and has no idea what we're talking about before the internet this is the this is how things went viral you passed tapes around and i remember dan brickner i think brought them down we would go to the miss america pageant at dave mason's house every year and we were playing basketball and someone goes gibbons

you should hear this i'm like what is it're like literally shooting hoops. And they put a cassette in like a boom box we had there. And they're like, it's funny prank calls. I'm like, no thanks. Like I just was like, nah. We almost didn't go to the Miss America thing, which we go just to drink and make fun of them, because we were so obsessed with how funny these goddamn tapes were. Changed my life.

And they're on YouTube. I would say literally if I were to pick 10 comedy influences in my, in my life, jerky boys is at the top of that list. It was so outrageous. Yeah. I think it like led to jackass, uh,

led to the prank calls on the Simpsons when they call red, red, the bartender was a reference to the jerky boys. Uh, when they call red red the bartender was a reference to the jerky boys uh kurt denninger says ilmatic by naz in 1994 and yeah i got a naz is the real i you know i have no excuse i should really know more about hip-hop than i do but naz you know everyone talks about i don't know anything about naz i think i just called them Nas. Fine. Well, accept it. Enter the Wu-Tang. Fucking great album.

Great album. And it's amazing because, yeah, like he mentions here, think of the people that came out of Wu-Tang. Method Man. Old Dirty Bastard. RZA. Wasn't Redman also? Redman was also Wu-Tang Clan. Yeah. RZA. Wasn't Redman also? Redman was also Wu-Tang Clan.

I'm not sure. Yeah. And that's all, folks. Let's do an obituary. I know what's coming. Speaking of rap, Coolio was a rapper and an actor who won a Grammy Award

for his 1995 number one single gangsta's paradise what a song holy shit yeah was that song big it's got over a bit this was before he died it had over a billion views on youtube and over a billion streams on spotify uh he was born artist leon ivy jr began recording music in the 80s and joined the hip-hop group WC and the Mad Circle. His breakthrough came in 94 when he released the album It Takes a Thief, which had fantastic voyage. He followed its success with Gangster's Paradise the following year, recorded for the movie Dangerous Minds, and then released as a single for his album of the same name.

It was huge on MTV. And I remember I used to host a game show on MTV, and one of the categories on the game show was, where's Coolio? And we would have a map of the world, and we would put Coolio's head on a country, and you had to guess what country it was. Okay.

But that was sad. That hit people. It's funny how some people die and it's not like you're walking around talking about Coolio every day, but then he dies and people go like gut punched. They're like, wow, that's so sad. Well, he's in his fifties, you know you know? Like, it's young and very surprising. Right. Let's cheer up, Mike, with some funnies.

Oh, God, yeah. I didn't get my funny today. I forgot. Oh, boy. Hey, do they know how Coolio died? Heart attack. I know, but is there why a heart attack? Is it just a heart attack? His it just a heart attack?

His cornrows are too tight. Good answer. Glad I could set you up. All right. Hager is sitting in a bar with his friend. What do we decide his name was? Lefty or something? Assistant rapist.

Assistant rapist is standing there and he's talking to a woman and she says you had me at i'm a glutton for punishment and hagger leans in and says to lefty she may not be the one and it's like what fucking decade are you suddenly in hagger i thought that's exactly the one. She likes being punished? You're a Viking? This is a match made in heaven. Yeah, I don't get that. Yeah.

She's pretty hot, too. She's got like a little tube top going. She's got a martini. I'm assuming it's a martini, but that olive could actually just be a roofie that the Vikings put in the drinks. They don't hide them. They don't hide the roofies. No.

They're like flat. Here it is on a toothpick, a fancy one. Let's go to the Lockhorns. Loretta is in a dentist chair, and the dentist is leaning over her, and she goes, of course I grind my teeth. Have you met my husband? of course I grind my teeth. Have you met my husband? Now here comes Leroy to get her right back. And he stands up from the dinner table and he looks her square in the eye and he goes, did it occur to you that we have leftovers

because I didn't want to eat them in the first place? That's a fucking classic Lockhorn right there that's good that is good yeah all right i'm trying to find a far side that i uh like for this week uh well in the meantime uh look who put in a uh family circus it looks like chris denman wants to bring it back what oh there's family circus i'll look at that in a minute meanwhile i found a far side here it is and i'll send it in and it's a guy sitting you can't see this guy sitting in a career counseling well they can't see it either a guy is sitting in a career and it says on the on the window of the door career counseling and he's sitting there with a giant beard and an old like you know frontiersman

like cowboy hat and the guy is uh interviewing him and he goes well mr cody according to our questionnaire you would uh hold on here you would excel in sales advertising slaughtering a few thousand buffalo, or market research. That's good. I love that one. All right, now I'm going to the far side. Family circus. Family circus, I mean.

It's pretty bad. I got to worry. All right, here. Oh, I'm not going to look at it. I'm not going to look at it. Okay. So the dad is holding up, I'm not going to look at what it's written, a piece of plywood, and there's a saw horse behind him.

And there's a saw on the ground and a hammer. So clearly he just cut this piece. He's looking down at the kid. The kid. The little red headed bastard. His mouth. His name is Billy. His mouth is open.

And so he's going to say something stupid to his dad. Now. What could he say stupid about this piece of plywood that the dad's holding? Like, you know, a pen for me. What can't contain me, dad? No, I don't. Let's see. Let's say it was wordplay. It would be two by two by four. Would it it be wordplay with four it's not a two by

four though uh maybe he died oh they always do mispronunciations like plywood i don't know i don't know all right i'm gonna read it where do ply trees grow oh my god this is a particularly bad one yeah I mean even if you're like spend literally

60 seconds thinking about plywood you could come up with better wordplay than that even yeah oh my god plywood you could you could come up with better wordplay than that even yeah yeah now oh my god like daddy you just cut down the thinnest tree i've ever seen i don't know as long as he's stupid you could put anything sure sure dad did you run over a tree yeah how do they smush the trees so flat even that yeah all right let's cheer up with some blondie uh

dagwood this fucking i don't know what his medical condition is but his wife is standing there wearing a fucking lime green tight skirt with big titties popping out and he's got his back to her laying on the on the couch taking a nap as if he's worked hard all week all he does is nap at work what is his fucking low metabolism does he need iron he goes she goes do you want to paint the front door clean the attic or fix the leaky pipe first he goes i'll start with the leak and now he's under the sink and he's asleep that's the joke meanwhile how about this how about i start with this, Blondie? You bent over the bed, and then I'll follow that up

with you laying on your back with your legs in the air. And then let's move to the shower. That's my list for the day if I'm Blondie's husband. Not being a fucking, not having narcoleptic episodes around the house

while my 10 of a wife stands at the fucking sink, stirring stews for me. Cause all I do is sleep and eat. What, what the fuck? God, it's infuriating.

It's infuriating is what it is. He would be there sitting at the table during the hurricane, not protecting his family, not doing anything, just sitting at the table. If she was smart, she would be putting tarps on top of him. Yes. And zip ties and cinder blocks. Grommets to get bungee cords all around him.

Yep. Yep. All right. Well, listen, Mike, I just got a text from Joe. We're going down to the SKY Steakhouse right now. We're going to dinner before the show. Look at you. Very exciting. Let's go see the Bowie movie when I'm back in town, either Sunday night, Monday night or Tuesday night of this week. Let's go see Bowie. We're going to have to find IMAX. I heard it's worth it to see it in IMAX. Bowie. We're going to have to find IMAX. I heard it's worth it to see it in IMAX.

Don't forget, everybody, PolicyGenius.com to find out how you can provide security for your family. Do it. Also, don't forget, I got some tour dates coming up. Go to FitzDawg.com. Follow us, by the way. I am at Greg Fitz Show on Twitter and Greg Fitzsimmons on Instagram. You are Gibbons Time on all social media platforms. Gibbons Time. All the other Gibbons were taken. I took Gibbons Time. And we want to thank Midcoast Media, Chris Denman and Beth Hoops and Key and John, who all do a fantastic bang-up job for us week in and week out.

Sure do. And thank you guys for listening. We appreciate your time. Spread the word. Go to Apple Podcasts and leave us five star reviews and comments that helps us keep the uh the bills paid and uh that'll do it that'll do it for this week and my wife i'm gonna plug anything it would be um adaptation yeah watch i'm gonna rewatch that i feel like rewatching that oh especially since you just read Kaufman which I gotta do I gotta get that book

yeah alright alright I think it's time we say take it ish have fun with Rogan man thanks man see ya Greggo and Mikey's Sunday Papers Greggo and Mikey's Sunday Papers Most papers are a moo moo But these are more like a kangaroo With big ginormous purple teeth And a face that's like a big red reef Greggle with my teeth Sunday papers

Greggle with my teeth Sunday papers Yeah Greggle with my teeth Sunday papers Greggle with my teeth Sunday papers. Yeah!