Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 134 10/9/22

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

Joe is letting out the potheads, GenZ is too fat for the army, and an NYU professor is chased out of his job by angry students. Oh yeah and Thelma is gay. 

Sunday papers Sunday Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers Sunday papers You go ahead. Oh, yeah, you're going to clap, clap, clap. One, two, three, four. There it is. Three, two, one. And time to get some energy. Read all about it, y'all. Read all about it. That is not energy.

It's the Cajun news. Cajun CNN. What up? What up, y'all? sir hey sweetie i had a lot of people call me sweetie and baby the last couple days it's been i i kind of love that it's nice right yeah i love it i love being called baby you big baby look at you big baby it's just it's just like the first time it happened i was like wow this waitress is really hitting on me and then like eight people later you're like oh that's just like a sweet thing they do bus boy said it more than the waitress all right we you know what

let's be honest here we got nothing to lose i'm sick uh not covid somehow but had chills achiness had and i was like ah god damn it i got covid again right and maybe i do but i i tested and i don't and maybe maybe it'll test positive if i test today anyway jesus when you're of a certain age that achiness and soreness it's hard to tell the difference between regular life and when you're achy and sick yeah right like i kind of walk to the bathroom in the in the morning like i have ice skates on you know what i mean or like ski boots like it's a little bit of a don't want to bend all the joints too much let's go you know let's try to keep this simple. And I hobble. Yeah.

You realize that after the age of 50, you're sick. You're just always sick. Also, you're sick and dying. You're sick and dying. I mean, the idea of morning sex without getting up and going to the bathroom first. What are you? What are you fucking kidding me? Get off of me. Oh, my God. I'm sure that's what you say. I'm sure that's what you say i'm sure that's what

you say and then you don't have much energy you're in uh where lafayette i'm in uh well they call it they call it lafayette until you get here and they call it laugh yet laugh yet that's because you're so funny because they haven't laughed yet the paris of the bayou i'm making that up that is in no way their nickname all i know is it's the one of the poorest states in the country i was just in new orleans for two days where it's the murder capital of the country they have uh something like six or seven hundred police officers it used to be 1500 and then people uh the cops started leaving the force with the black lives matter thing and uh covid they just started quitting and they can't get anybody to join the

force anymore they're not they're offering like they're offering like thirty thousand dollars as a signing bonus to become a cop and they can't get anybody. Come on, be a cop in the murder capital of the country. Come on down, be a cop now, yeah? Come on, baby. Come on. What was I going to say? Did you ever watch the documentary The Pharmacist? Yes.

Well, you know, he has that thick, great accent. But he, they really go into the sort of, you know, his son was, it was a drug deal. But they also tap into like the crime in the hood and murders also. And just how, you know, anyway, it's a great documentary about this pharmacist who has a personal reason to get involved in the opioid epidemic. Yeah, I mean, most people, it was good because I wasn't on Bourbon Street. I was in what they call the Warehouse District, which is a little. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very cool area. Howlin' Wolf.

Yeah, the Howlin' Wolf. That's where I saw Bob Dylan. I'm not going to tell that story, but I saw Bob Dylan. You did not see Bob Dylan there. No, no, no, no, no, no. I saw Bob Dylan on a street in the warehouse district that time. I was down there shooting Riddick Bowe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He and I were the only two people on the street. I nodded, and he kind of nodded back, and then I had to get inside real quick before I started laughing because he was wearing jeans, blue jean overalls that were three quarter length legs. Like, in other words, below the knee. And then he had like Air Jordans on with gym socks. Gym socks pulled up? I don't know if maybe one was. No, it wasn't.

They weren't that. It wasn't that extraordinary. Yeah, it was truly amazing. That's the right word for it. So I went down to Bourbon Street. I got in a day early because I wanted to kind of sample New Orleans. I hadn't really spent much time here before. I was only been here once before and I didn't really see much.

Really? Well, I want to come back. I really kind of fell in love with it. So I go to – not Bourbon Street. I did not fall in love with Bourbon Street. You go there, and it literally – it felt like it was a collection of everybody in the last 10 years that had been thrown out of my Friday night late show. It was just fat drunks wearing stupid T-shirts who were enamored with their drunkenness. It was a celebration of how stupidly drunk you could be with a frozen drink in your hand walking down the street.

Yep. Totally. But, you know, at the end of – I'm trying, I'm not going to look it up. It's too distracting. But if you go down Bourbon Street, my favorite bar was called the Feats Blacksmith Shop. And it's a piano bar. Oh, I saw it. I walked past it.

Yeah. And it didn't have electricity until like the 90s, the 1990s. And it was this amazing, and just to show where i was at in my life when we would go down to jazz fest every year so the backup plan this is the backup plan if we're all separated pre-cell phone if we're all separated you meet at lafitte's at 4 a.m i mean that's a city that's great yeah yeah it was a lot of uh it was a lot of drunks and it really is, it, it, it was hard to be a sober, being a sober guy in Bourbon street. You just feel like, uh, vulnerable because it just, everybody's drunk. It's a drinking place. Like it's the place you

realize, like if I was going to start drinking again, I guess I'd probably go there. You feel like the temptation and the pull of it. I felt like, I felt like what a priest must feel like when he's like, has a meeting with altar boys or something. You're like, I shouldn't do this. This, this would be so great,

but I should not do this. This would be so much fun. I should not make this altar boy show me his boobs and then i put these rosary beads i throw them at him um well put the wallet in the front pocket one of the biggest things is pickpocketing now on bourbon street right right and then i and then I went out yesterday morning. I got up and I was like, I went to this place. You know, they make café au lait is a big thing. You drink café au lait and you get beignets.

And so I was like, all right, I'll try them. So I get a bag of beignets, which are just fucking puff pastry covered in sugar. I ate an entire- At Café Du Monde? Yeah, that's where I went cafe du mal yeah of course so i had a big bag of them and then i uh went back to my hotel room and crashed like i was having a fucking i i was like i felt like remember revenant when leonardo dicaprio gets inside of the dead horse and goes to sleep that was me for like three hours i woke up i woke up

with just drool down my neck white powder on my face like where am i what time is it a rebirth just like leo yeah uh yeah no new orleans is uh amazing i stopped uh i had one experience of mardi gras where i was on shrooms and that was too much and it was bad all i want to do i think i've told the story i want to go back to this house we were crashing in and just lay behind the couch that was like in the middle of their living room where i slept the night before actually and so but when we'd go down at jazz fest just the most unbelievable experiences at night like you know one of the great venues for music there is the Rock and Bowl. It's a bowling alley that is amazing.

They would have their Zydeco. I forget if it was Buckwheat Zydeco versus... Anyway, they would have these dueling Zydeco bands. And I'm trying to remember the other... God, out in the Garden District. I mean, obviously there's Tippy Tina's, but there's Fat Joe's. I'm forgetting.

The Maple Leaf, I think, was one. They're just amazing, amazing places to see live music. Yeah, well, the Howlin' Wolf was fun. It's a great old rock club. I mean, I was on stage where um ray charles performed i guess parliament was just here for like four nights uh this this past summer i saw better than ezra there oh did you yeah yeah yeah because they're local favorites and everything yeah and of course reminds norm's joke is uh second best band of the year whatever uh you uh, you know, uh, better than Ezra. And at number one,

Ezra. Oh no, number two. No, number two. Ezra, right. How could I mess that up? Um, so we, uh, but it was fun. It was a fun show. Good local scene, like a lot of good, uh, New Orleans comics. And it is funny because the way they talk, I, I, you don't really hear it. You hear it in movies. And I, and I always thought when I, I feel like I owe an apology to every actor I've ever seen do what I thought was a bad New Orleans accent.

And now I realize, Oh no, that's what they talk like. That's actually an accent. And as you and I know from a Confederacy of Dunces, it's very, there's a crossover between, you know, Boston of Dunces it's very there's a crossover between you know Boston with their missing R's it's a weird weird

dialect well Lafayette where I am tonight Lafayette is apparently more Cajun than New Orleans is so the accent is even stranger ah was there a football game there better not be tonight or i'm fucked

no wait it's friday it's friday night yeah no i was wondering oh you weren't down there sunday though all righty well enjoy it man but i had a player in my audience a guy a fan of mine showed up who's a uh was a big defensive uh star for the for the new orleans saints he won a super bowl ring and he was in the audience for my show wow yeah do you know his name uh his name was keep it one way i like that he's a fan of yours not the other way around he would you know it was crazy as i was talking to him and he was huge and i started by talking to his girlfriend and she uh and i asked her about her life and it turns out that she's a neuro uh she's a neuroscientist and she's super smart and

then i looked at him and i go sir you don't look like you you went down that road in life i go you look more like you worked with your hands. He's like, yeah, kinda. And, and it turns out so that it comes out that he was a, you know, fucking huge dude. And then I got off stage and he's in a wheelchair. I didn't see it from the stage.

What? Yeah. So it turns out he, um, after, after his career, he'd already retired. He was on a motorcycle and he got hit by a car.

I think like a year ago. And he's in a, in a wheelchair now. Well, I don't feel good about my joke. He was on a motorcycle and he got hit by a car, I think like a year ago, and he's in a wheelchair now. Well, I don't feel good about my joke. I thought he would be like, no, no, no. I use my head as well in my job. I just hit people with it. Yeah.

And she'll look after me. Yeah, but yeah, nice crowd. Oh, and then this girl, I went to high school with this girl, Nancy. I won't say her last name. And she was the hottest girl in my high school she was beautiful and like so beautiful that I can't even say I had a crush on her because she was so far out of my league it didn't even seem like I had the right to have a crush on this girl yeah yeah yeah and so anyway I get a text through a mutual friend that she wants to come to my show. And I was so excited to see her and, you know, see how she's doing. And it was kind of like I was I was not really a stud in high school.

I weighed about one hundred twenty five pounds and I had acne and big freckles and I was pale. Then I had no self-esteem. But well, but we will she sees you now. no self-esteem but well but we wait till she sees you now but i was like but i was like now she's gotta now she's gotta like look at me for an hour after i spent four years looking at her so uh so i was very excited that for her to come out and then uh she kind of flaked on me we we went back and forth and she was gonna come out with her husband and uh she's married oh this didn't even happen did happen she didn't make it out. Oh no. Yeah. She lives in New Orleans? Lives in New Orleans.

Didn't make it out. No chance her coming tonight? It's two hours away. Oh man. Oh, here it is. His name is Jeff Charleston. He was involved in a crash this past December on his motorcycle on the highway.

Oh, Jesus, on the I-10. Oh, shit. Wow. He was thrown from the motorcycle and suffered a fractured pelvis and other life-threatening injuries. He has already undergone several surgeries with more expected. So we'll see. Oh, man. Super nice guy.

Great guy. So hopefully he's got some. Hopefully they can still fix him. That's kind of cool. He's going out to a comedy club. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So how about a hand for that logo this week?

Look at that. Grapefruit Gibbons. Very cool. Love that. I like it. There Ifruit Gibbons. Very cool. Love that. I like it. There I am, the monkey, the ape, actually. And I think we got to take a moment to acknowledge this week's song from Adam Copeland,

which, I mean, when I say we're cleaning out the folder of songs, we are leaving no song behind that has been sent in. Wait, what did I say that song reminded me of? Oh, fuck, I forget. Anyway, I liked it. It got catchy. Oh, it reminded me of Daniel Johnston.

That's what it was. Jesus, is your voice going to last through this podcast? Are you going to make it? No, I don't think I will, but I'll try my best, and I'll talk a little lower but so have you ever seen the documentary uh the devil and Daniel Johnston no it's worth seeing so in short it's this like spectrumy guy and I so I don't give anything away I'll just basically basically jumped to you just can't believe he's so plays such a simple songs on a tape recorder i think that's where the masters were from the old tape recorders where you had to press play

and record at the same time yeah and how about this cut to that's the t-shirt kirk cobain's wearing i think under his sweater and unplugged but definitely famouslyshirt Kurt Cobain's wearing, I think, under his sweater and unplugged. But definitely, famously, Kurt Cobain's wearing it somewhere. Because he also was an artist who did these weird drawings. Oh, and one of his drawings is on the wall at that pizza place on Washington. That restaurant where you go up and order and take- Fire Pit. His very unique, that's why you know it's him and he signed it but

on the brick wall is one of his drawings and uh anyway so you're comparing this week's composer to uh somebody who's intellectually disabled well some would say i'm comparing this week's composer to a genius yeah um but his music i I have a little, I called him up here, was frequently cited for its, quote, pure and childlike qualities. Wow. Well, Adam, thank you for your pure childlike song. And he was huge on the lo-fi alternative music scene. Wow.

Yeah. Like this song. Corrections this week, Christian Rees said, Coolio's big hit, Gangsta's Paradise, was just Stevie Wonder's pastime paradise tweaked a bit lyrically and musically. I didn't realize that. What do you mean? What are you talking about?

I don't know. How is that even a correction? Of course that's what it was. Oh, really? Oh, dude, yeah. Like, it's one of those, when the song you're more than sampling, he, like, tweaked it, is so great. It's kind of like Vanilla Ice. Like, how good is what Vanilla Ice did?

Because the song he is using throughout the whole thing is so good can anything be that bad right i remember there was a cover of wild nights van morrison's wild nights that was like a big kind of dance song in the 90s and i was like you fucking you're just riding off the greatness of that song uh we also got one from rick we got uh shit, probably a dozen emails from people saying that the calls to Moe's and the Simpsons are based on prank calls to a bartender named Red from New Jersey. I remember those. Which were done before the Jerky Boys. Right. It was called Tube Bar, the Tube Bar in Jersey City.

Yeah, no, i remember them he'd yell out uh like his might you know i'm making this up now but like is mike here mike on my con is mike and then he's like no and then he'd hear like laughter he's like you little fuck and then he would turn on the on the prank caller in the angriest way yes with the crazy old man voice like I have now. And then Kurt Denninger said, small correction, Redman was not in Wu-Tang Clan. He debuted a few years earlier on some EPMD albums,

but collaborated a lot with Method Man and released an album together in 2000. I thought he was in Wu-Tang. I saw Redman and Method Man perform together I opened for them in uh wow in Orange County last year

I think that puts you in Wu-Tang I think that I am yes I'm a Klan member wait a minute that doesn't sound right

uh dates coming up oh boy folks this weekend Den Theater in Chicago October 15th. Come on down. Say hi to me.

Say hi to my wife and son, who will be in the audience at the show. He goes to college there, so that's going to be cool. San Francisco Punchline, November 3rd through the 5th. Oklahoma City, November 16th. Sidesplitters in Tampa and Hyenas in Fort Worth coming up also Go to FitzDawg.com For tickets Let's

Chris can maybe look this up Is there a home game when you're in Tampa? Oh Interesting Chris can you look that up? Or do we lose Chris? He's leaving us early today I would leave early if i had to listen to my voice speaking of clans he's got a meeting oh boy here you know here it comes you know what's really

cool tampa november i'm gonna guess all right where where is it chris where is it come on come on son come on baby that's sooner than it oh i watched the elvis movie by the way or should we save that for entertainment section no he brought it up talk about it now i saw it and i loved it that fucking guy that played him as a superstar he is good he's got a big career ahead of him i think he is good yeah and i. Yeah. But Tom Hanks was wow. Oh, bye week. Oh, that's their bye week. Tom Hanks was unwatchable.

He made a really interesting choice, which I thought was terrible. Because, you know, when you see interviews of the Colonel, which he played, and there's an interview late in life, which, you know, they dressed him as that. And like, I think that was, remember when he was sitting at his desk with the signs behind him and stuff like that, talking to camera, um, you could detect no foreign accent. Yes. He went all in on that. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I remember seeing this interview recently with Tom Hanks where he did not have the voice of Forrest Gump. He didn't have it, couldn't figure it out, didn't have it. And then the boy they hired to play young Forrest was from a local, he was a local from that region. And he took the voice from the boy, which worked great then. Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where he found it finally. Huh. Yeah. I remember Travolta saying, for him, it wasn't voices. It was the walk. He would have to find the guy's walk. Mm-hmm.

I could never be an actor, man. I don't know how. Meanwhile, the best actors ever are kind of always themselves. You know, they're always Jack Nicholson. They're always DiCaprio. They're always kind of Meryl Streep. Although Meryl Streep, and keep in mind, all of these people have tremendous range.

Do not get me wrong. But there's some sort of anchor there that is this greatness, and you see it. You know you're watching Meryl Streep you know you're watching De Niro but the De Niro and Streep is still there yet you don't penalize them for it you know what I mean like you would a lesser actor the only one I would say that's not true for is Daniel Day-Lewis who just disappears into a role. I can't even believe that. When he played Chaney? Yeah. Crazy.

That was incredible. Yeah. Let's do some AIDS. Shit. Let's do some ads. Wait a minute. I misspelled that. Hey, listen, folks.

Are you watching Netflix without using ExpressVPN? That's like buying tickets to a Taylor Swift concert and only being allowed to watch the opening act, which actually I might do and then head out. I shouldn't say that. I just went down a little Taylor Swift rabbit hole. Oh, boy. And some of it's good. Some of it's good.

It's mostly horrible. All right. So I saw Stevie Nicks Monday night. We're taking a little break here. Oh, you did? Yeah. I went Monday night at the Hollywood Bowl, took Georgia's ticket with my sister.

She's unbelievable. She's a fanatic. She's a Fleetwood Mac fanatic, your sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they then sent this YouTube. I'll get the link to you. There's a YouTube, and I think it's called Wild Wild Heart. But she's getting makeup applied,

and she's just practicing with her backup singers and my my sister's friend debbie said this is like a real like the real crazy stevie nicks fans they probably have a name this is like the this clip is cherished and passed around and she actually sang that song is it from a long time ago or recently no No, a long time, like 1981 or something, Stevie Nicks. Like just absolutely so cute, so beautiful. And Jesus, that voice is so unique and strong. So anyway, she was amazing. There was a lot of Tom Petty.

Like when the lights went down, they played one more song as everyone was sitting down. That was Tom Petty. Like when the lights went down, they played one more song as everyone was sitting down. That was Tom Petty. Then she told the whole Tom Petty story where Jimmy Iovine, who was in the audience, she said, he's here tonight, where Jimmy Iovine said her first solo album, Bella Donna. Well, she was dating Jimmy Iovine. Yeah. Needed a hit. He's like, you don't got a hit on here. And so he goes, Tom's already recorded this, but I convinced them to record it again with you and she's like i don't even need to hear it i'll do it so that was stop dragging my heart around so she sang that and then then she covered free falling and then when the show was over

we exited to a to a tom petty song wow so yeah she was really having him on her mind this tour. Yeah, he made her. He made her career. She didn't have any big hits before that. But back to my thing, I remember watching some, I think it was the MTV Music Awards,

might have been the Grammys, and Taylor Swift came out and did like some song and then it was like, and now Taylor Swift is going to be joined by Stevie Nicks. I think I've told this story before. Oh, you did. Yeah. age and came out and Taylor sang the first chorus or first verse of the song or whatever.

And then Stevie came in and you immediately were like, oh my God, Taylor Swift can't sing. It was night and day. And I remember that was the first time, I remember this vividly, I was alone and I was like, right? It's not just me, but it was like, I'm not going to pick up the phone and call people but i'm like how can i check and that was the first time i used twitter to do a did you did everyone just see what i just saw and it was everywhere yeah wow yeah so anyway maybe not taylor swift but perhaps another singer um so netflix basically – they have different movies for different countries. Their libraries vary depending on the country. But they have thousands of shows, but without a VPN, you can only get access to some of those based on what country you're in. So ExpressVPN unblocks it.

You can pretend you're in England or Australia or France or wherever, and then you can suddenly access a whole other library of movies. So when it's legal, I mean, obviously Netflix knows about this because we're doing a commercial about it, and they've known about it for a while. So there's a lot of other reasons why. Like for instance, I watch Arrested Development on my Australia version of Netflix. I watch, what else do I watch on Australia? Oh, I watch American Psycho on the Australia version and you can't get those on American. So there's a lot of

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Nicely done. You got a paper there? I don't. I don't have a paper either. I don't even have a voice. Wait, really? Oh, boy. I don't have a paper either. I don't even have a voice. Wait, really? Oh, boy. I don't have anything.

Oh, wait, I have paper. There we go. Oh, yeah, a little paper from a shoebox. Oh, that's cool. That is good. Extra! Extra! We all have found it!

Extra! Front page, baby! President Joe Biden pardoned all those convicted Front page, baby. President Joe Biden pardoned all those convicted on prior federal charges or convicted in the District of Columbia of simple marijuana possession. He called on governors to follow suit and pardon those convicted on similar state charges. He has also instructed Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra and Attorney General Merrick Garland to begin reviewing how marijuana is classified under federal drug laws. Wow. Finally. It really is a District of Columbia now. I got it. I got it. I think this is going to have a big impact on society to suddenly have all these potheads released.

Cheeto sales are going to go through the roof. PlayStation fives. I would say if you have some money laying around, invest in fold out couches and bongs because they are going to go through the roof. Well, that's kind of my point, which is weed is now the new opiate of the masses. The government needs people baked right away. Otherwise, people would be angry. And the angriest people are those in jail for marijuana charges. Get them out and get them legal weed.

Everybody just has to anesthetize themselves. Otherwise, it's going to be a full panic situation in the next couple of months. I don't know. I think of potheads actually as being the conspiracy theorists. And they're the ones that have all the anti-government theories that they're propagating on the internet. All talk, all from the safe confines of their mom's basement or wherever they are, behind a computer, behind anonymity, and they don't do anything about it. I mean, haven't there been, like,

what was the first place to legalize weed? Was it Denver or? Colorado, and then Oregon was right after. And did crime go down in those cities? I'm wondering. I believe crime went down. DUIs definitely went down. And yeah, domestic violence went down.

So yeah, there you go. Although there's no explaining in LA. Jesus, you can't. They're just robbing. Everyone's acting. And I am too in a different way. When I drive, I'm like, no cop's going to see me make a left on this red if I'm just sitting there, you know, or whatever it is. Like I have that mentality now.

So imagine if I was a real criminal stealing things. And I never see cops now. Right. Rhyming and stealing. The labor shortage continues to plague the U.S. Army. dealing. The labor shortage continues to plague the U.S. Army. Military officials confirmed that the Army came up 25% short of its recruitment goals for this year. There's reason to believe the vast majority of Gen Z, today's target generation for recruitment, wouldn't even qualify. Per the report, the majority of the 77% of 17 to 24-year-olds would not have because they're overweight,

drug and alcohol abuse, medical, physical health, and mental health were the prevalent disqualifiers. Wait a minute. Aren't the wars all done via drone strikes now anyway? Like how slim do you have to be to launch a rocket from a console in an office building in Phoenix? Most of these gamers get their high scores while being baked, especially the mentally unfit ones. Ever see a kid with OCD light up Minecraft or Grand Theft Auto? There's a solid point. The new recruitment poster should show a fat kid with a joint in his mouth rearranging a sock drawer.

Remember, we do more before nine o'clock in the morning than most people really do all day how about sleep till noon we're launching drone strikes on the middle east later on and how about all the programmers there are no picture of health right yeah all the computer programmers that they're going to need that's what i'm trying to say yeah Yeah, no, I'm with you. And listen, even if that doesn't work out, what about if you're massively overweight? Sounds like a frontline job to me. Imagine being that shield out front.

Imagine when they storm Normandy even and that front row is all overweight. How much better that would have been when they all fell out of the boat. Because apparently the first four guys drowned because the boats didn't get all the way in. And so now it would only be two guys drowning. Right, right. Before they hit bottom. Before they hit bottom. Before the pool was full.

Yeah. Yeah. Two fat soldiers, not four fit ones. Right. And he stepped over those big fat bodies onto the beach. Died behind him like sandbags totally hiding behind the dead guy on the beach you're totally safe you don't even have to dig yeah we need some fat soldiers it sounds though like it's almost an arms race with russia because you heard you know russia's like all all right, we're going to have to draft people. They were like, out of there. Yeah. I think this is like the new arms race,

which is who's going to run out of soldiers first. I know. Yeah. The Russians were not into fighting for their country. I think word got out within Russia that it wasn't really neo-Nazis running the Ukraine. But, but you know i brought that up even here in america even if it's a just war i think there's going to be a lot of what's in it for me i mean i i think including us we are so spoiled by peace time we don't know what it's like i mean to have like your neighborhood has to put up a memorial for all the kids and every block has like lost at least one kid. Yeah.

Like that stuff's crazy. That's so foreign to us that this me, me, me, myself generation. No way. No, these are the same people that wouldn't get vaccination shots because it was good for society, but it wasn't good for them. They thought, oh, it's even more than that. vaccination shots because it was good for society, but it wasn't good for them, they thought. Well, it's even more than that. Even all the people with vaccines, like just, you know, it's all about themselves. I don't think there's going to be that

country first. Our politicians don't even do it. Both sides. Speaking of older guys shitting on Gen Z, why don't you read the next story? Speaking of older guys shitting on Gen Z, why don't you read the next story? No, I'm including myself. I mean, my God, if I got drafted, I would have a really hard time. I mean, let's say I was in my 20s. I'd have a really hard time going. For sure. I would go in a fucking second.

What? I would love it. Oh, my God. Give me a gun and a uniform and let me go somewhere and kill people. I don't give a shit who it is. I want to have some adventure at this point in my life. I'm so bored with my life. And come back a hero?

Are you kidding me? I'm going to kill so many people. They should all be heroes instead of treated with no health insurance. I know. All right. Speaking of Gen Z or whatever the fuck we're talking about. Let me try to get my voice for a second. Hold on.

Maitland Jones Jr., a professor of organic chemistry, was fired by NYU after more than 80 students from his 350 student course signed a petition complaining about grades, teaching and help and help that they received during the covid pandemic. teaching and help that they received during the COVID pandemic. So they fired him, NYU, because the course was, quote, too hard. The man, the professor, wrote the textbook of the subject, now in its fifth edition, and had been a star teacher at Princeton. He went out of his way to tape his lectures at his own cost to mitigate some of the attendance problems attributed to the pandemic. Yet students revolted because they feared, according to the New York Times, that, quote, they were not given the grades that would allow them, wait for it, to get into medical school.

The professor, meanwhile, saw a different problem. They weren't coming to class. They weren't watching the videos and they weren't able to answer the questions. But the school terminated his employment rather than the students who are on track to become physicians, despite struggling to get into med school. Anyway, it goes on a little bit. But that is what is happening right now in a lot of universities. Now, there's a lot of opinions that there's a real emphasis being put on diversity. And to get this diversity, they have to lower some of the academic standards. Again, that's one side. I'm not saying that's my opinion, but this is like a real hot issue. But what it will lead to, no matter what the cause is, if other schools are acting like NYU is, you are going to get dumber doctors. I mean, this is one of organic chemistry, from what I also read, is one of the barriers

like where it's not everyone can be a doctor. I could never be a doctor. And I bet organic chemistry would weed me out. Right. As it should. As it should. As it should. I mean, these, I just, this generation, I want to start a petition that every kid who signed that petition be sent to a fucking preschool in Marin County, California, so

they can feel safe. They should be, and let them, let them train to be fucking life coaches because that's the only thing they can do. Yeah. Well, not saving life coaches. They're not going to be that. No. Jesus.

I don't want a doctor who got a gold star in medical school or most improved. I don't want a most improved doctor. Yeah. I'm only going to go to old doctors now. They're going to have a generation of doctors that have amazing bedside manner and go to a lot of funerals.

Yeah. No, listen, I want to validate not only your pain, but you're surprised that this routine operation is now killing you. Yeah. But look how well I treated everybody. Yeah. Look at my marks.

They like me. A Southwest Airlines pilot is suing the company, her union, and former colleague who pleaded guilty last year to deadbolting the cockpit door during a flight and stripping naked in front of her christine christine christine janning alleges that southwest retaliated by grounding her after she reported michael hack to the company and the fbi that had kept him employed despite an alleged history of sexual misconduct and that managers disparaged her in memos. Wow. He's really putting the cock in cockpit. Is that what he did?

That's what he did. That's what I did. Hi, this is your pilot, Susan Smith. We have reached 30,000 feet, and if you look out on your left, you're Jesus Christ, Michael, put that away. It's all on the intercom. We're at cruising altitude. You can now unfasten your seatbelts.

And what the hell? Haul your belts. Take all your belts off. Who needs belts? Meanwhile, even she said, even more offensive than this is all the Southwest passengers in shorts and flip-flops. Just fucking manspread're in their rows. It's the most, it's a bus.

It's a bus in the air. I'd rather, I'd rather see Michael's Harry cock than some, some guys yellowed toenails in his flip flops. Yeah. Oh God. What is worse than that? That's what bourbon street was.

It was fungus toenails in flip-flops. It was a lot of that. Also, you don't even have to go as far as fungus. The feet I have seen, like I walked into a doctor's office yesterday, and this woman, it was like a very Larry David thing. We're in the elevator. They got in after me because they're very slow. And then when it got to the floor, I was a gentleman and I held the door for her.

She gets out. I'm walking behind her waddle, which was so slow. But I'm like, well, now it'll seem pathetic. We're definitely going to the same. There's like one door open at the end and stuff. And so she goes in first. Anyway, long way to say the claws that were in these flip flops were like talons. What are you thinking? How old was she?

And she was in her probably in her 50s also, but like very overweight. But like your hair is done. So clearly there's something going on. Like your hair looks okay and washed and there's like a, you know, whatever, a clip in it. Like you,

you do know what appearances are and what they mean to you. Like where is the blind spot that you're letting someone see those? Maybe she can't reach the toenails. Is she, was she that big? Then get one of those grabbers that put your socks on for you. Do you have one of those?

I don't. You need one. I'm getting my hip yanked out in three weeks. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. All right. Well, you're being in and out in a day, right? Like the last one? Half a day. And then I'll be on drugs doing a podcast with you days later. Airbnb will not issue blanket refunds to guests who had reservations in Hurricane 2 in Florida. The vacation rentals company's extenuating circumstances policy

allows people to cancel and obtain a refund for events it deems to not have been foreseeable. Hurricanes in Florida, in Florida, that's what they should call Florida. Florida are not included. Disasters in Florida are very foreseeable. The policy does not cover things that are, quote, common enough to be foreseeable in the location. For example, hurricanes occurring during hurricane season in Florida. Which, by the way, so you should expect hurricanes during hurricane season. I guess they also don't cover rentals in Brooklyn if you're taking hostage in the house.

If you rent a place on the Jersey Shore and a group of middle-aged Italian guys crank Bon Jovi and grill kielbasa all weekend, you can't complain. That happens. Exactly. At that point, you know, I ran into this in Palm Springs. We were going to rent. Our family was going to go out there for Christmas. So Laura and I and my mom were renting a place. And it had blown up the year before.

So this was the second COVID Christmas and there was a second wave in that fall. And this exact problem happened is Airbnb and VRBO was better, but Airbnb like washed their hands of it. They're like, you two work it out, the homeowner and the renter. And the homeowner asked one question.

You mean I don't have to give the money back thank you that's the end of the conversation and people freaked out because they couldn't travel and they said to quarantine also if you like came to california you had a quarantine for 10 days you know whatever it was so i was talking to them and it was, so I, so the owner, I then got on the phone with the owner. I'm like, listen, what if there's a shutdown? What if it's, I'm not allowed to leave my house in Santa Monica, which has happened before per the state's guidelines. And I can't make it out there. It's like, uh, sorry, it's just going to have to be that way. And you know, and then he said, I forget what the, I forget what the issue was, but with this, it's like, to have to be that way. And then he said, I forget what the issue was,

but with this, it's like, okay, fine, Florida, I'm coming. Where's the house? Yeah. Where's the house I rented? It's not here. Take a left at the firehouse? There's no firehouse. How am I supposed to run a pop-up sex club

in a house that doesn't exist god you just call their bluff on it yeah all right let's get to our new section it's about a year old good news for gubbins Yeah. Oh, yeah. I got to get this text. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Paper. There you go. Yeah. First of all, we're getting mixed reviews on some people love Good News for Gubbins. Some people hate it. Toby says Good News for Gubbins. We're getting mixed reviews on Gubbins, it sounds like. Yeah. Good News for Gubbins is one of my favorite segments.

It's this random guy that nobody knows about that you all talk about each week, which makes it amazing. If people don't get the Good News for Govins section, that's their fault. And then somebody else said that they fast-forward through it. Nobody gives a shit about Govins.

Somebody else said bring him on the show. Would that ruin it if we brought him on the show or should we bring him on the show no it's sort of like santa claus at this point it's kind of i like it yeah all right so olivia olivia texted me this week uh my daughter just saw dennis biking stretching and i think kind of dancing all at the same time. She was driving and he was like walking, yeah. On his bike, walking with his bike. Yeah.

She's hilarious. Olivia is so goddamn funny. Yeah, she really is. He is also, I got him into a football pool this year. And there was like over 200 people in the pool, and it's weaned down to there's about 50 of us now, and Gubbins is in it, and they have a thing called the power rankings,

and it's based on the teams you've picked already and how many teams you have left that are good. In other words, the more long shots you've picked, the higher your ranking is. And so I looked at it, and Gubbins is number one. So I texted him and I said, Gubbins, you're number one. I have a pick that's number three, and my pick is number four. And then I have another pick that's like number 20 out of 50. So I've got three that are up there as well.

And so I said, let's go in on it together. Let's just make ours a mutual fund. So if you win or if one of my three win, we split the money, you would get 25%. I get 75%. I want 51.49. Wait, why would he? would he yeah exactly i'm on his side with that i'm not that high but he has the number one yeah but that'll change we'll see i said i'll talk to you there's a very easy mathematical way to weight that you could you could do it i will see i i'll

give it a couple more weeks because he won't be a number one and I will be because I picked some long shots for this week. But also he's going to come up. If anybody wants to meet Dennis Gubbins in person, he's coming up to San Francisco the weekend that I'm there, and he's going to do a guest spot. He has to do a spot. And he goes, how much time can I do? And I said probably just 10 minutes because the club is super tight

how they book it like the the woman who books it Molly Schmank is like a real pro and there's a lot of comics that are dying to work that club so like

I can't get him more than 10 minutes he writes back 20 25 stop it stop it so he's thinking

10 minutes would be his best friend. He's thinking he can fill the club, but we'll see about that. I don't know how many people are going to come from Marin County. Oh, bringers. Yeah, all right. He's earning his keep. All right, let's get to entertainment, even though we've already done a lot of entertainment. I've already done a lot of entertainment.

Dahmer is the headline. It is the number one streaming show in Netflix history in the first two weeks that any show has been out. Here's my review. If he killed his victims as slowly as he does in this series, he's the worst murderer. He's the most villainous person who's ever lived because I can't even watch any more of it. It's the slowest show I've ever seen. It's slow. And I think the only reason it's sustaining is people's just absolute morbid curiosity because that's all you're seeing.

You're not. I mean, I know you and I are old, so we live through it. So we know a lot of the details, but you're not learning anything new. It's not like one of those mind hunters where you are learning. Why do they think that way? What's going on? Like, they're not even placing emphasis on that it's like how many scenes of him drinking fucking american beer can i sit through yeah well you know what it is and i i read an article critiquing the show as being like murder

porn and that this guy is yes super good looking and it's and and there's a lot of female viewers that are like really they're sexually fantasizing about this guy and there's a lot of female viewers that are like really, they're sexually fantasizing about this guy. And there's the families of the victims are kind of outraged and they're giving Netflix shit about portraying him this way. And like the scene with the blood, it was like a Carl's Jr. ad with some model eating a burger like in a bikini on a car. It's like enough with the beauty shots this isn't some model photo shoot where this ripped dude is pouring blood on his torso and drinking it like yeah if you know it's ryan murphy so that's his thing um it's not my thing and it's it's just so slow i watched two episodes and then tried to sleep and i could not sleep

uh it's it's a one episode a night show followed by like uh something corny something light afterwards uh by the way ted lasso the first season i maybe because it was the pandemic i dug it i thought it was sweet it is so fucking corny in the second season it's embarrassing have you watched all the episodes no i stopped oh my god it had something and now it's just ridiculous maybe it was because we needed that at that time but i don't think that show would do as well as if it had come out today what are you texting you got no I'm looking up um no something about Dahmer you know the first almost victim and that was what was so scary I kind of know too much about it but you know was um Sean brown was the guy that got the cops is i'm not spoiling anything because it's the first scene and he got the cops and brought them back and if you know nothing about dahmer then

that's fine but i was surprised because i'm like oh no sean is the guy that the cops say, all right, get back, get back at your fucking each other. And they left. Yeah. Cause that was the story when we were all hearing about it the first time, that was the story that terrified all of us the most, the most out of like a very terrifying series of murders. Right.

Um, but it turns out and, uh, yeah, he was very, you know, clearly the show has gotten a memo out to all its actors and people like, keep posting on social media and everything like how this, you know, prayers to the, you know, your thoughts should still go out to the families of the victims. Because I think they realized they had sensationalized this. That's all that Ryan Murphy does. They sensationalized it so much. And they also did not tell the families it was being done. And they're portraying their children. Yeah. And they weren't asked about what it was like for them. And so, yeah. It was the same thing with who was the other serial killer that was really good looking? The charming guy.

Ted Bundy. Yeah, the Ted Bundy one was also guilty of that. They really sexualized that character. Oh, yeah. No, it is like murder porn for sure. And that's where we're heading. Speaking of sexualizing a character, holy shit. Have you read about this?

Velma from Scooby-Doo is now is now cannot canonically gay and fans are going wild trick-or-treat scooby-doo is the latest animated scooby-doo movie and fans are getting are already sharing a few scenes that make it clear that velma is into girls in one scene velma meets a character named coco and instantly develops a crush on her. And her glasses fog up, which is the cartoon nerd sign for in love. Is Velma the one in the sweater all the time? She's the one with the big glasses and the orange sweater, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And she says her catchphrase, jinkies.

This is news that she's a lesbian? Well, you know, it's a big deal. Because don't they have a Barbie Blondie also in the car? They have a what? A Blondie, a blonde hottie who looks like Barbie doll? Oh, that's right. That's right. On the side of the mystery van.

So the juxtaposition was huge. Although the mystery machine is now going to be like a Subaru Legacy Outback. And I got to tell you, tattoo artists in Provincetown, Massachusetts, better start working on their Thelma tattoos because that's going to be in high demand this fall. Yeah, that would be a cool little tattoo for sure. You think her glasses were moist, you should have seen her little animated panties.

Oh, Gregory on that seems wrong make america florida here we go florida man holds his mother hostage where's the crinkle there was no crinkle oh sorry here we go i apologize in advance for my voice i'm going to try to keep it without cracking. Florida man holds his mother hostage and threatens to kill her. So at around 9.30 p.m., Palm Beach County Sheriff deputies were called to an armed suicide attempt. That's when the deputies found Neaton Matthew, 37, threatening to stab his mother with a pink knife and commit suicide. What a Florida detail. When the deputies sparked a conversation

with him, Matthew grabbed his mother and again threatened to kill her and that's when one of the deputies drew his gun and shot Neaton and then shot his mom. Both were taken to a local hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. The deputy who fired his gun is on paid administrative leave.

When reached for comment, the deputy said he couldn't believe he only wounded them. Yeah, he didn't feel like she would want to live with the memory of her son threatening to kill her. He's doing her a favor, taking her down. He's a deputy. I got this, Sheriff. I know what to do. He shot the son because of the knife, but he shot the mother because of the oriental rug

hanging on the living room wall and the dolphin statue in the hallway. By the way, they showed the pink knife. There was a photo of it in the newspaper and it's it's one of those short little Cuisinart knives with the plastic handle that you would cut like limes with or something like that's that was the threat here obviously he could kill himself and his mom with that don't get me wrong but I think you could not shoot them I I'm thinking. I wonder if he shot the mom and then he just was like,

oh my God, that felt so good. Like eating potato chips. Like, oh my God, I had no idea. It was his first kill or his first time shooting somebody. Maybe he's just a hot shot, man. He's like, I only grazed both of them and it turned out it's true.

Should we save this next one to save your voice and do it next week uh yeah we could do that because it's about bernie taupin and uh that takes a lot out of you next week yeah it does oh it gets me so angry all right what are we doing sports uh yeah let's do some sports. There it is. In the space of the last 48 hours, the Georgia Senate race was buffeted by two massive stories. First came that Herschel Walker had paid for a woman's abortion after the two conceived a child while they were dating in 2009.

So he denies the report and he has been outspoken in his opposition to abortion throughout the campaign. Then Walker's son, Christian, a conservative online influencer, posted a series of tweets said that Walker was something short of a model father. Quote, I don't care about someone who has a bad past and takes accountability.

But how dare you lie and act as though you're some moral Christian upright man. Uh-oh. So Walker says that he has deep regrets. He said, if I could do it all over again, I would have aborted Christian. Where's that deputy? Can he shoot this son and his mother? What semester would he be in right now? What trimester?

The craziest part is it's not really affecting the numbers, or at least it wasn't right after the news, which is bonkers. No, it's a dead race. It's a dead heat right now. And it's like the closest and most important Senate race in the country. And he's I mean, I just don't understand Christian voters. How did you vote Donald Trump in knowing that this guy is just a fucking, whatever, I don't want to get political, but it's not about politics. It's about, according to you, religion. You identify as a Christian and you, and you vote for a guy who grabs women by the pussy and who cheats with porn stars. I don't get it. Cheat on every wife. Cheat on every wife.

Yeah, not Catholic also, because he's divorced twice. No, no, despicable. Well, not to mention Herschel Walker. We should mention, it's not just this abortion. He used to beat his wife, beat his kids. He has a deadbeat dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah well i should say allegedly i always say allegedly but allegedly beat his wife and kids allegedly has uh other children

out of wedlock besides uh this other one who he didn't support um you know there's that old joke that, you know, that an empty chair is running for, like, in other words, and Clint Eastwood did it, but like that your opponent is like this empty chair. At this point, wouldn't an empty chair do better than Herschel Walker? Like, they're just going to vote on the red side of the ticket, no matter what, clearly. And Herschel's only hurting like what

if someone what if there was a mute candidate who you didn't know anything about wouldn't he be doing just as well yeah that's your next film never expresses a thought or word about his stance on anything. Here's my stance on the Buccaneers. We have a standing bet. $50 a game. That was our sports section. All season. The Buccaneers won last week. They beat.

Who did they beat? No, they lost by 10 points, didn't they? Oh, right. They lost. So now the bet is back to zero. You got it. They're 2-2. This week coming up, they're playing Atlanta, I think in Atlanta,

and they're giving 9.5 points. But I didn't realize Brady was injured. You said he didn't practice this week? I think I saw a headline today that he missed two practices or something like that. And I think there was chatter about a rotator cuff. Which begs the question, do we

bet on the game regardless? I mean, the good news is we bet on the point spread at the time of kickoff. So these guys will factor anything in. But the true bet was I thought they handicap um um brady more than they should like they give him too much credit right well i'll tell you what i'm i'm

seeing a brady who's not as good this season he's not as good he's just not it feels like a guy who didn't go to all of his training preseason and who is distracted. So my thoughts and prayers are with the Brady family right now. I would counter it and say, if he's alone in an apartment now, I mean, he was all about football no matter what anyway. Like, imagine how focused this motherfucker is going to be now. And knowing he can't tarnish he can't be the boxer that didn't retire and comes in and gets his ass kicked you know what i mean yeah and how many more games does he have 10 or i guess maybe a little more but like

i could see him pushing it i mean it was the super bowl it was uh kansas city from a couple years ago last week. And I mean, Mahomes just looked like twice the quarterback Brady did. Yet it seemed like they had a possession. It could have maybe come down to a three-point game, but I know it was maybe meaningless at the end.

All right. Well, we'll see. So if Brady does not start, is the bet on? Yes. Wow. Look at you. You have a problem.

Okay. International. Now we're skipping international. We're skipping that section. God damn it. Go into business. Go into business. All right.

I just wanted to, no jokes or any real stories. I just wanted to re-up. A lot of people asked about this bond that I recommend people buy. It is a Series I. I said Series I. It's Series I savings bond. The interest rate is tied to inflation, meaning they pay more when inflation goes up, but it's based on the last six months. So right now, inflation has been very high, uh, with the last six months. So right now inflation has been very high, but your time is running out.

So get this bond. It's kind of a pain in the ass. You go through treasury direct and that's the website you buy it. And you can, you can only, uh, buy $10,000 worth, but right now it's paying 9.62%,

which is amazing. So, uh, it's, it's going to take you some time. Treasury Direct site sucks, but stick with it. And whatever you can afford to put into that, I recommend you buy because that's going to be a really good return based on where the stock market is right now or how the stock market is performing. Yeah, and you can hold it for a while. It could perform. I mean, 10% or 9.62% compounded is serious money.

Serious money, folks. Let's skip down to letters to the editor. Matt Turkey, who says, hello, mate, so he must be in another country. Or he's homosexual. Or he's a homosexual. I have seen this clip going the rounds. Is this mic? Has he gone viral?

And the clip was on TikTok, and it had a shitload of views. And it's you and Wheeler Walker Jr. back when he was known as Ben Hoffman. Yeah. And it's you guys doing a sketch with an old lady who you've convinced is auditioning to be an action hero. And there's two versions going around.

It's like finally people are watching the Ben show, but one of them had over 600,000 likes or something like that. I know. So, yes, that is me. And, uh, and that was a really funny clip where we, we came up with a concept. We just wanted to do auditions, real ones and have people come in for a fake part and just write the most outlandish dialogue for them to do. And it's called gangster granny. And it's it's like uh take out your hearing aids shit's about to get loud and and they're holding guns and then the lawyers called

us and we're like whoa whoa whoa you can't do this because you can't fool these people there has to be it has to be an audition and so we, fine, easy solution is we will make a trailer and it'll air on comedy central. So, I mean, this is very bonafide. This isn't an audition for like a play that'll never like, you know, uh, be set. So that's what happened is then the one who wins, which you see in this clip, um, you know, we gave her a part in the, in the trailer. It was pretty good. And the trailer aired off the Ben show on Comedy Central? Or it aired within the show? Within the show.

And then we also played all the auditions because they signed that we could use their auditions, you know, the other grannies. It was great. How do people find it? What should they search for? I don't know how you search stuff on TikTok. Well, I'm sure it's

on no no it's on youtube right ben just go just look at ben show and you'll see it and then it's gangsta with an a granny uh spammy hagar has some feedback after clicking play i found myself listening to an overheard conversation from inside a 2055 nursing home where two guys update each other on what songs existed in the early 80s and 90s. The conversation was recorded and sent back in time, mistaking labeled as a podcast about news. Fortunately, I was able to click the fast-forward button

and get back to the Sunday Papers broadcast. Keep up the good work, Spammy. There you go, there you go. In this past week's episode, you raised the topic of roles that can change the way we think about an actor. The number one example has to be Ned Beatty after his role in Deliverance. You can't look at the guy the same way again. That's from John Cawley. Yes. Yeah. After that, sex symbol, a very unlikely sex symbol. Did he work after that?

Or did that end his career? I'm trying to think when Network was, because Network, he was amazing. I'll look up now, because he died this past year, and he was amazing. He was in Shampoo. He was in so many goddamn movies. I'll look him up now as you keep reading. He was, he was in so many goddamn movies. Um, I'll look him up now as you keep. He's good friends with his son.

Good guy. Oh, wow. He's an actor. Cool. Uh, Nathan Schleif kind of name is Schleif. As for the black people in the series,

I was talking about the house of dragons. Uh, as for that black people in the series, if you would have stuck with it, there was a reasonable explanation why the powerful rich black people in the series, if you would have stuck with it, there is a reasonable explanation why the powerful, rich black people are not around in Game of Thrones. The princess married to the gay black man never had an actual son with him. All their sons were from the White Guard. OK.

Look at that. And then he wrote, continue on the, quote work gentlemen uh i see all right yeah he did do a lot he did network after deliverance and his role which was not big in network was one for the ages yeah um i keep going i'll find and then we got jason cobb we have a few people following up on the new musical topic is best first albums by a band. He says Stevie Ray Vaughan, Texas Flood. The band music from the Big Pink. I like music from the Big Pink, but I don't know.

I'm not as blown away by it as some people are. Maybe I got to give it another listen. Michael Jackson, Off the Wall, obviously crazy. John Mayer, Room for Squares. Metallica, Kill Em All. to give it another listen michael jackson off the wall obviously crazy john mayer room for squares metallica kill them all yeah that was a crazy first album and then kurt gieb says dire straits uh the album called dire straits released in 1978 that was an insane album amazing album not as good as this next one though joe jackson looks sharp holy shit i'm the man on that album released in 1979 santana the eponymous album 1969 and uh yeah so send those

in if you have some first albums we missed that you thought were great, I say The Pretenders is the greatest first album ever made. Oh, boy. Obituary. We're doubling up on the obituary. Sad week on Sunday Papers. First of all, the coal miner's daughter, Loretta Lynn, died just

a few days ago. She was 90 years old. She was the queen of country music for seven decades, they say. What do we know about her? No musical training, but spent hours every day singing her babies to sleep. Was known to churn out fully textured songs in a matter of minutes. Yeah. most country stars of the time didn't have for themselves, but her female fans knew them intimately. She said,

so when I sing those country songs about women struggling to keep things going, you could say I've been there. She wrote in her first memoir, like I say, I know what it's like to be pregnant and nervous and poor. Fiery songs like Don't Come Home a-Drinking, With Love on Your Mind. That was a big thing. I mean, she was talking about real topics,

like a drunken husband coming home and basically raping you. Yeah. You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man, which she actually apparently said to a woman. According to the movie, she sang it to her. Um, so she, her family history was, uh, was really, it was really insane. She talked about the pill when nobody else talked about it. Oh, she got banned.

That got banned from radio. Really? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think she might've been censored. Uh, someone put it up like eight different times or something. She just pushed it, man. And what a voice. You know what I loved was that album she did with Jack White,

The Van Leer Rose. Just to celebrate her, everyone should go to YouTube and put in Loretta Lynn Letterman. And that performance, and he lets her shine like she has a grand entrance and she has that gown on it's it's so so strong and that one uh that won her at least one more grammy maybe two yeah it's great so anyway she did a great interview with terry gross i remember years ago and yeah they mentioned that um anyway the the second death another uh woman who's in our hearts judy tanuda who is such a great comedian she was so underrated i mean so many people in this

generation when i think about how comedy you know obviously it's cyclical and new comedians come in and you really don't know who's going to stand the test of time. But you don't hear people talk about you. You didn't until yesterday, sadly. But Judy Tenuta was one of the powerhouses of the comedy scene back in the 80s and 90s. of the comedy scene back in the 80s and 90s and a truly unique voice a comedian who fucking killed and you know there was a time when comedians really had personas and really had characters and she just leaned into this character she did uh she was so great so she died uh she had cancer she was so great so she died she had cancer and I always think of her

I think of her and what's his name together who? what's the male comedian who's kind of an oddball like she was I always thought they were like a couple also from Chicago?

I think so yeah yeah I'm forgetting his name if i'm thinking the right guy but um she also reminded me a little like cindy lauper type yes just she even wore dresses similar but on top of it she always had an accordion and I went back and you know, she famously popped on, um, was it HBO? But they did a, an hour of women and it was four of the women. And like one of them, Ellen DeGeneres was one Rita Rudner. I'm forgetting the third and her.

And like, if you're thinking of like a Rita Rudner coming out with these, you know, well crafted jokes, I'm not saying that they were funny to me, but they were well-crafted and like, oh, you know, isn't isn't dating impossible. And she comes out dressed like Cyndi Lauper with an accordion and to floating music. And her opening line is high pigs. opening line is hi pigs and then she goes into talking like i'm on a plane next to this creep who thinks that i'm supposed to talk to him just because he paid for my seat like she just goes off there isn't one part that that felt like rita rudner you know what i mean that felt like Rita Rudner. You know what I mean? That felt like old. It just felt like I am not going to miss a word she says. Yeah. There's a great clip. Uh, somebody posted on social media of when she did the Joan Rivers show early on. And she was at the time just getting blackballed

because she would go on shows and she would make a scene and then she would shit on the host afterwards. Uh, so look up that that's worth watching watching weirdo yankovic was a huge fan and put it in two of his videos yeah yeah uh all right let's cheer up let's cheer up with some sunday funnies now hold on before we get to the funnies interesting on ned baity i've looked him up that was according to this it looks like his first role, believe it or not. And then he was in, I mean, at least 50 other movies. But including The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean. I think that's famous for, I think that was, yeah.

I mean, in TV, The Waltons and all that. The Thief Who Came to Dinner. Last American Hero. White Lightning. I think that was, yeah. I mean, in TV, the Waltons and all that. The Thief Who Came to Dinner. Last American Hero. White Lightning. Gunsmoke. Hold on. Nashville.

The TV series MASH. All the President's Men. Gator. Gator, yeah. And then it leads network silver streak and it goes on and on the guy was unbelievable career geez yeah no really really great and he was so well respected you know kind of by everybody um so anyway yes he went on but but i i get what that guy wrote like you'd think it was career suicidal it was it was such a powerful scene it was a it was a violent rape and um by a man obviously and he uh yeah and so it was hard to shake. I get that. One of the most powerful scenes in movie history. I think so.

Without a doubt. Especially to homophobic guys like us. Oh, yeah. Really hit a nerve. Liz writes, please do not bring back the family circus. It's too easy, it's dumb, and it ends the show as something that's annoying. The far side is much better. Mike sharing it makes it even better. Love the show. Non that's annoying. The far side is much better. Mike sharing it makes it even better.

Love the show. Non-stop laughs. Liz. But then we got other people that are saying, miss the family circus. Bring it back. So maybe we'll just drop it in once in a while. Oh, it is dropped in.

It is dropped in. Oh, God. I didn't see it. I didn't see it, but I did see the far side. I put it in there, and it is fucking funny here's a lock horns leroy's talking to a friend at a party loretta's in the background talking to a woman leroy says not only is loretta a drama queen but she's also a royal pain that's a little corny a little too wordplay yeah uh the other ones aren't that good. Oh, simple wordplay.

Why don't you get to the far side? Far side. It's an elevator. A guy's just gone on. The doors are closing. You can see him. He has his hand on the rear legs of what is clearly like a lion. It's a big cat.

You see the lion standing there, and they just fit on a very crowded elevator. And you can see two other passengers with kind of wide eyes checking out this scene. And he goes, okay, so this scene, this is how you experience the thing. So you see that scene. And then this is what's said. He says to the passengers, don't be alarmed, folks. He's completely harmless unless something startles him. And then you see the picture that the lion's tail is outside of the closing doors. And the doors are about to close on its tail. Oh, my God.

That's great. That's awesome. I told you the one i mean i've said it before so i'll never like put it on the podcast but he has a couple of those one was these two explorers you could see they're like campsite and it's torn to shreds and someone's arrived there and has picked up like a ripped up journal but has pieced together a page and is reading. And it says, the gorillas exhibit a keen sense of humor. Tomorrow we're going to try the buzzer handshake on them and see how that goes. All right.

Here is the family circus. Don't read the caption. Look at the picture. Oh, all right. Tell us what you think it says. All right, here is the family circus. Don't read the caption. Look at the picture. Oh, all right, let me see. And tell us what you think it says. All right, I'm just going to look at the picture. Okay, the shitty little kid with the red hair has dug a ditch. He's in the ditch, and it doesn't look like a lawn.

Anyway, the sisters come over. She's kneeling down with her hands on her knees, and the little boy is saying something to her. His name is Billy. And he's pointing in the hole. And so, I mean, our cat seems sick. I'm just trying to get ahead of it. I don't know what he would say.

Goldfish? Now you say you're about three foot six? I'm trying to visit grandpa. Hidden treasure. China? I don't know. All right, let's see what it is. The world is solid as far as i've gone what the world is the world is there a saying that

i'm not remembering the world is solid the world is soft the world did he just... The world is small. Is he trying to say something? Small world, soft world. Are we missing? What's the opposite of solid? Soft? I don't get it. I don't get it.

Wet? The world is... Holy shit. Wow. And that's today's. Yeah. Or a redone one, but it's in newspapers today. All right. God bless. God bless him. He made money on it.

All right. So now Dagwood is walking up the steps. Second frame, Blondie is walking down the hallway. Third frame, he says, Blondie, are you upstairs? Fourth frame, she's walking down to the basement fifth frame he's popping his head into the kitchen sixth frame she's upstairs saying honey are you up here seventh frame they're running towards each other and he goes oh there you are and she goes thank goodness and he says sometimes i miss this that tiny little apartment we shared when we were first married and then she says it did have its advantages, dear.

What? So suddenly there's love in the Blondie Dagwood households. Suddenly there's like affection and there's missing. And did something happen? Did he get Viagra from our sponsor today? Did he give it to her the way she was meant to be giving it to the last 20 years of their marriage? This world is not solid as far as I've gone. I don't understand this world of Blondie, this new world.

No, it's very strange. He's showing real emotion. She's showing real emotion. It's like they let someone do the comic that day who has no idea of their roles. Yes. It's normally very icy. All right, listen, Mike. Yes. It's, it's normally very icy. All right. Listen,

Mike. Yeah. We got through this. Your voice held out. Somehow my, not really. Jesus. My Bayou depression is lifted from Nancy.

Not coming to my show last night. Maybe she'll be a surprise show up tonight. Two hour drive, four hour round trip. Yeah, that is too bad getting blown off by someone who you revered. And it's almost like you're back in that role.

It's like I'm back in high school again, not being invited to the party with the cool, because she was one of the cool kids, you know? Usually the best looking in the class is. Yeah. So we want to remind people, get involved with our sponsors. Go to expressvpn.com slash papers.

And also go to rexmd.com slash papers. And get all kinds of deals. And then we'll see you guys in Chicago this weekend, Saturday night. Come on out. Nice. Anything you want to promote? Apologize. Do I want to plug anything not better call

soul although you're telling me to stick with it stick with it it's totally worth it it's great i just watched the episode you'll remember it's season five that's the second to last season i think yeah i think so where they're in the desert the cars break. Where they're in the desert. The cars break down, so they're in the desert. It was trying to be like the Sopranos in the snow in the woods. Right. And it was not. I disagree. I love that episode.

Oh, Jesus. Then now I can't trust your season six review. All right, I'm going to stick with it. I love Odenkirk. I love those guys. Okay. Take it-ish. Take it-ish. Take it-ish.

There it is. Sunday papers. Sunday papers. Sunday papers. Sunday papers. Sunday papers. Papers. Sunday papers.

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