Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 138 11/6/22

Episode Date: November 6, 2022

Doped up on OXY after hip surgery Mike shows up and we discuss Julia Roberts connection to MLK, Elon messing with the blue check and James Corden’s sticky fingers.

This is Sunday Papers Podcast with Mike and Greg. Read all about it. We're going to go read all about it. Oh, we got to clap in. Why are you going to clap, bitch? There. Did you clap? I didn't hear it.

Five, four. He clapped on three. Three, two, one. What a pro. And I'm showing up today. Read all about it. Read all about it. Half the staff is on Vicodin. But the news is still coming to you live from San francisco and los angeles it's sunday papers

there we go oh yeah you're up there we have so much to talk about i'm glad i did it here go three advil right down the old chute three advil i want to talk to you about that too all right so let's let's talk about what's going on with mike he is uh an old, he's a young man in an old man's body. You just had your, what did you have, your penis replaced? Again, yes. No, I had my left hip, total left hip replacement on Thursday. Today is Saturday morning. And it went very well. Leave

it's outpatient surgery. It's crazy. And I know I forgive me if people have heard about this too much, but anyway, the quick thing is Thursday. I like my guy a lot. Went well. It's outpatient surgery, which is crazy. I was home by like 1 PM and then went well. First night's sleep went even well, which is great because I have to sleep on my back, which I'm not good at. Lots of drugs. And then yesterday went well. What drugs are you on? Currently, literally, as I sit here, I'm on five.

I'm on, all right, let me begin with the one that's not working. Stool softener. Ooh. Last poop was Wednesday. Should I be concerned? Today's Saturday. Yeah. No, I often go several days without shitting. Last poop was Wednesday. Should I be concerned? Today's Saturday. Yeah.

No, I often go several days without shitting. Well, it's a big concern with all the Vicodin, Oxy. I'm on Oxy. And then I'm on Advil, which is actually the most effective because I guess my biggest problem is swelling. And then my knees giant. I can't hold them up. Anyway, I have these leg things. First of all, I have compression socks. I feel like an astronaut right now with the amount

of equipment I have on. I have compression socks. Then I have these things that are, I think, relatively new after surgery. And I know we have doctors, which I don't understand why they listen to this show, but you then wrap a thing with an engine on it and it and it squeezes your leg and lets it go. Squeezes your leg. I have them on both legs. Blood clots. I could have just sent my dog over. Blood clots are their huge and infection. Those are their two. They don't even care about the hip anymore. Blood clots and infection are their major concerns. Jesus. So I'm on drugs. I feel pretty clear headed. We'll see how it goes, but I just took a lot. Speaking to your head, when's the last time you showered?

Wednesday. Okay. I only, I only, Oh, sorry. I only poop in the shower. I only poop in the shower. Yeah. I did that once in college. I took a shit in the shower and then, uh, Oh God. And then the other guys in the hall yelled at me. I did it as a prank.

So, um, I had to go in and take it out. Like I was a dog. Uh, a couple of complaints. Canes are the biggest motherfuckers in the world. They just,

Oh, lean it against the counter? Smash on the ground every single time. Yeah. I got to get one of those with the four feet, which is the most pathetic looking thing ever. Little tennis balls on it. Those old guys know what they're doing.

I had a walker for the first day, but I was doing really well, and I'll move this along. I'm almost done. I was doing really well, and then last night, real swelling. I don't think I was as good of keeping really well. And then last night, real swelling. I don't think I was as good of keeping it elevated. And then, then fever. And, uh, and that, that was the, that was, that kept me up last night and I kept taking it. Meanwhile, whatever, I didn't get to a dangerous

level, but it was three degrees higher than when the nurse visited me at home yesterday. So, but I was 97.1 or whatever when she visited. So I was whatever, a hundred point five. That's it. I'm rambling. Is Olivia taking care of you? I would,

that's italicized. I would say for the most part, she like cooking you meals. She rolls her eyes. She is asking me, do you mind if I come home later? And of course I just say, yes.

I, of course I just say, no, stay out. Of course. Stay out. Yeah. Now my mom came over. That was great with meals and yeah, all, all good. Laura, sister Laura took me there. Had to wait five hours, six hours. Really? I think it was great that she did that on a work day. Yeah. So get this, you ready? And maybe someone can chime in from home. Nurse comes here cause it's outpatient surgery. So their model is let's get you out of this place where you can get infections and all that. Let's get you home, especially while you're still on the major drugs. So you leave like almost right after surgery, come home, nurse visits the next day. So does physical therapy.

Nurse goes to me, so what are you taking? Let's see your whole, like, you know, your chart of drugs and how you're going to take them all. And then, so I said, yeah. And I go, you know, and I find last time I had this habit, Advil was really good. She's like, all right, you have to be careful with Advil because there's aspirin in it.

And I look at her, I'm like, oh, I go, I don't think that's true because I'm also have to take baby aspirin for clotting, right?, I'm like, Oh, I go, I don't think that's true. Cause I'm also have to take baby aspirin for clotting. Right. And I'm like, I don't think that she's like, Oh yes, yes. I'm like, well, wait a minute. I also have in my drawer from like another surgery or whatever. I have like a just strict ibuprofen and she goes, Oh no, no. Ibuprofen has aspirin in it. I'm like, I don't. So she talked me to a lower rate of Advil, which I think is why I swelled up so much last night and everything. According to all of Google, there's no aspirin in Advil. Maybe someone could write in and let us

know. Maybe you've got one of those nurses that kills people she enjoys patients being in pain and then she kills them maybe or maybe just the pain from Ireland oh I like the Irish nurse I don't think I do I don't think I do yours yeah yours were good over in Ireland when you were in there for allergies um all right so let's talk about, literally anything else except for your hip being replaced. Um, all right, wait, uh, let's see. I had some funny stuff up top. Oh, I saw the, uh, Van Gogh, a immersive in Los Angeles. And, uh, thank God you didn't pay for it. Did not pay for it. It was a gift from one of our listeners, a former listener. I don't think she listens any longer.

And a very sweet woman who was very generous to us. But then she came. Well, whatever. I don't need to get into the whole story. But anyway, so we went to the exhibit. And thank God me and the wife smoked a fatty before we went into it. You have to. And it was amazing.

I mean, Van Gogh is so amazing. But you sit in a room and they put slides on the wall of his paintings and they play music. It lasts about an hour and it costs about $125. It costs a third the price to see real Van Goghs. In fact, actually actually i take that back to see a real van go and i'm talking a home run irises i guess free at the getty yeah and this piece of shit it's all about instagram basically what you're doing is you're taking selfies in front of the most famous selfie on planet earth, which is Van Gogh's self-portrait.

Right. That's funny. Yeah, that's true. And it's all set up for that. I was miserable. I went. I was miserable. Did you see the Van Gogh one? I saw the Van Gogh, which is a giant room with a slideshow with tons of real exit signs in the middle of his paintings. Yeah, yeah. But... Yeah, so what... Tons of real exit signs in the middle of his painting. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

but yeah. So what I would also want to talk about, um, Springsteen was on Stern this week. Holy shit. It's do you have, do you have serious XM? No.

Do you have a deal for me? I'm going to sign up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send it to you. I know you had it for years when we had a show.

I did. When we were, when we were DJs there, man, we were DJs on Stern's channel for 10 years. And, yeah, yeah. I'll send it to you. I know you had it for years when we had a show on there. I did, I did. When we were DJs there, man. We were DJs on Stern's channel for 10 years. And so it was so in-depth, and yet he was disarming. I felt like, you know, obviously Bruce was pulling from his one-man show. There was a lot of stuff that he was, stories that he was telling. Which pulled from his book.

Which was pulled from his book and which was pulled from his book right um but he also stern hit him with some really interesting in-depth questions he talked a lot about music and about you know how he strings his guitar and chords and it was like pretty pretty like you know inside baseball about music um but it was it was amazing it was fucking riveting it's been so long since I have sat in my car for an hour outside my house listening to an interview. Everyone I've heard says the same thing. That was really, really great.

So great. And it made Stern come back in the studio. He had not been in the studio since before the pandemic started. He's become a germaphobe. Yeah, I didn't know that. He asked Springsteen to do it, and Springsteen said, I'll do your show,

but only if you come into the studio. You know why? Because he's the boss. He's the boss. That's right. Let me wipe this camera down. And then we got a lot of emails last week. I go through all the emails, and I kind of spare you.

I don't forward them to you anymore because I just got the feeling you didn't really want to read them. But let me know if you want to read them. I will send them on to you. Sure. I like criticism. In fact, I don't feel like I don't feel this is real without being torn apart about it. I mean, we get tons of love. And don't get me wrong, I appreciate the emails.

But a lot of people saying, like, it's not funny to talk about blank. Fuck you. We talk about whatever the fuck we want. Anything can be interesting or funny. And you don't dictate the show. By the way, that's Greg's opinion, not mine. I will talk about whatever you guys want. And I'll stop talking about whatever you want. Unless it dictate the show. By the way, that's Greg's opinion, not mine. I will talk about whatever you guys want. And I'll stop talking about whatever you want unless it's the Jews. So thank you for writing in.

But some of you can stop. Yeah. Listen, I saw some guy write in. They either yell that we're liberal douchebags. Because, look, we got a lot of listeners that come from my appearances on rogan on stern on corolla on a lot of audiences that skew a little more to the right and so we really go out of our way not to alienate those people but then some people will still say you're fat you say one thing that skews a little bit democratic and you're suddenly a fuck they throw all the words

at you you're a snowflake you're a sheep you're a liberal douche it's just like and then the other people are saying that the that the government's being blown up right now and we're sitting back and not saying anything about it and we should take a stand this show isn't really about taking a stand why are these people so political and why are like like even Joe Rogan's like there's some damage there that they're so angry and, you know, I guess independent leaning and they need to identify that way for some strong, strong reason that it paints everything in their world. I don't know what it is. just seems like it would dominate your life i mean all the news feeds you have to read and all the fox news you have to watch and all the and and for what you're all you're doing is fucking i'm not you're not engaging me in a conversation if somebody writes a note and says i hear what you're saying but consider this point of view as well i'm all ears but if you want a name call Save it I don't need to fucking hear it Yeah

But here's the good news We don't really care We don't care So there you go I'm in San Francisco I did Having great crowds are coming It doesn't feel fair

To do stand-up comedy At the San Francisco Punchline It is such an amazing club. The crowds, I don't know what it is. They come in, they can take a punch. You can do the craziest jokes.

They go with you. They laugh, they fucking clap. They're just amazing. And the country wouldn't guess that. They would think it was woke central. It's not at all. It's not at all.

It's great. And then this, uh, these two guys came out from high school. These two guys I went to high school with. No way. That I have not seen since 1984 showed up. Gary Norman and Kornfeld.

What's his first name? Michael. We just call him Korn. And they came out, and it was so great to see them. So I was fucking with them from the stage. I was talking to them. And he reminded me that they were at my very first stand-up comedy show, which was a talent show my senior year of high school.

No. At Rye? What's in high school. Yeah. In Rye Country Day. Yeah. And so I was making fun of the, there was a teacher named Mr. Kaskoris who was sleeping with the art teacher,

Mrs. Schlatter, Miss Schlatter. And they would always chaperone all the school trips. And then they would, fuck. Wait, wait, sorry? Yeah. And so I was talking about that on stage and then they unplugged my microphone from backstage. Who did?

The principal, Mr. Godfrey. Dr. Godfrey. And so I screamed the rest of my set. Bob Dylan in Newport. I had done a fair amount of cocaine that night. And so I came out of the stage door and I was just jumping up and down. I was like, I couldn't tell it was the cocaine or the standup, but it was like, it was a moment where I went like, oh yeah, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Oh my God. Imagine getting that moment as a senior in high school. That's what a gift. Yeah. It was amazing. But yeah, so it was great to see these guys. Very cool. Yeah. Um, while on Vicodin, I had two comedy thoughts. Let's see if there's any, if there's anything here. Okay. You know,

you can't, uh, you can't put a diving board in your home swimming pools, like almost anywhere anymore. Cause of insurance. Yeah. Oh yeah. Diving boards.

Uh, maybe Chris can look it up. They're illegal in many, many cities, I think, uh, because also in, maybe it's not technically illegal, but insurance will not insure your home.

Oh, wow. Meanwhile, because of the surgery, I got thinking and I walked by a pool recently that has that device that lowers handicapped people into the pool. Right. So you can get that insured. So I want to hear the phone call. All right, listen, the able-bodied very often athletic people who are going to just, you know, jump off a diving board into my pool, not a chance. We'll not insure it. But the

mechanism that by definition lowers someone who has no, can't use many of his limbs and is a guaranteed drown. If he ever wound up using it himself, that, that is fine. It's like a dunk tank. Yeah. And he's probably, he probably already did the diving board and now you're going to ensure this second step where he, where he finishes the job. All right. There's that one.

This other one isn't, this other one isn't as strong, but more than once I have written heroes and it came out herpes. And those two words are way too close together on the keyboard, the O and the P. Yeah. And it's like, listen, my heroes are fine. Hey, my childhood herpes. They're too close. Yeah, yeah. We all need herpes. And my childhood herpes were, I think, the best. And my heroes are back and I'm furious. I think I might have some heroes in my ass.

Anyway. Again, those are viking. We could be herpes if just for one day. Yes. I've never heard of herpes that lasts for only one day. But. Just, I've never heard of herpes. It'll last for only one day. But Bowie, Bowie has. There we go. Mike Gibbons bringing a little comedy,

stand-up comedy to the podcast. A little, I would call it Vicodin comedy, maybe. Oxycon, ox comedy. All right, let's talk about the logo this week from Craig Godet. Very funny. It's- Very funny. Look at us. It's very funny.

Look at us. It's Ellen. Man, it's disturbing. Ellen and James Corden. By the way, I didn't know that was James Corden. We well, you are James Corden. Yeah. But by the way, can we talk about the blow up with Corden this week?

Yeah, I have some inside information on that. All right. Well, I'll give you the outside information. Then you give me the inside information on that. All right. Well, I'll give you the outside information, then you give me the inside information. Okay. So basically, according to the joke, that was word for word from Ricky Gervais' last stand-up special. Yeah.

And I mean, it wasn't like the kind of joke where you go, well, it's parallel thinking. They both thought it was. It's like a really weird conceptual bit so yeah okay right yeah so he did it and then it was pointed out to him and then he apologized and it was unclear and maybe this is your inside information it was unclear whether uh cordon came up with the bit or decided to do the bit or one of his writers gave it to him and he didn't know. What's what happened? So I don't know this to be gospel truth.

So I guess this is my opinion, but it is it is from Intel. By the way, how funny is the phrase gospel truth? Nothing in the gospel is anything close to true. Virgin birth gospel. I used to do a joke about that. Like, why is it when you go to court you gotta put your hand on a bible to swear you'll tell the truth if you want me to tell the truth don't put my hand on a book of lies put it on my prius put on my prius owner's manual because that

shit is exactly right it's the correct oil i should be using the tire pressure and if it's wrong guess what they do they change it the next year's manual pressure. And if it's wrong, guess what they do? They change it. The next year's manual, they update it. So it's true. How about put it on the legal piece of paper that tells you how long you go to jail for perjury? What about that one? Oh, you might want to read it. Not only touch it, read it. Yeah. Um, so let's just call this my opinion. But I do think it's right. And I've talked to a bunch of people. So their show since the pandemic got a lot looser up top, which is actually something I wanted to do out of the gate. And when I was head writer and helping him create the show. And so because he's very good off the cuff, despite this story. So anyway, they're very loose and they talk about things. And then a lot of times that then gets cut down in post. The show airs that night and they only have like, you know, an hour and a half or ever to cut down the show. And a lot of that gets cut down, but he'll be like, he'll just be like, Oh my God, did you hear when Chappelle commented on that? And then of

course it's a, you know, cut that out of the show, but he'll credit like, it really is like you and I talk. And then this one, he did not. Don't get me wrong. He did not credit Gervais. I will say Gervais is clearly not a fan and is on record, is not a fan of James Corden's. He slammed him in the Globes and he slammed him on his Netflix show. And I think in other times. But Corden, Corden, despite that is a fan of Gervais and does the most unbelievable Gervais impression. And so I think, you know, he, James, it was not written and he clearly had seen that and ingested it. And then it came out as they were talking about, like, I think it was about Twitter. Cause it was in the news and how like, just don't tear apart a tweet if you don't like it.

You know what I mean? Like, just move on. But he he really embodied Gervais and did the same. I noticed hand gestures even. You know what I mean? Yeah. And also, Corden is absolutely the fastest study I've ever worked with. I've never worked. I mean, It's phenomenal how he knows the words to all these songs. Oh, dude. We had Carrie Underwood on. He did not know a single...

He didn't even know Carrie Underwood on Carpool Karaoke. He put a Walkman on, and I saw him walking around the CBS roof, came back and was singing every word with her. Wow. That's crazy. So I think it got ingested and i'm

not listen i'm not defending him like you know someone should have flagged and all that but but i believe that is exactly how it happened and then i somebody put out a clip on our we have like a um uh a text chain and somebody put out a clip of who's the other British comic Lee. Dude, he's one of my that guy's one of my favorite. Yeah. Lee. I'll get it. I'll get in a minute. I did. I put that on there. And he fucking slams Corden. I mean, he must have left England because he was so disliked by the comedy. No, no. It's just, you know, listen, the real comics,

James is not a stand-up. The real comics, you know, it's Stuart Lee. Yeah. So I'm flipping through Netflix, and I see this British comic, but what got me was, and I'm forgetting his name, or whatever, he created Veep. He's the, before Veep, Stuart Lee and this guy

created this stand-up series. I's the, before Veep, Stuart Lee and this guy created this stand-up series. I bought it, by the way, and maybe I'll buy it for you because I don't want to rip off Stuart Lee because he sells it on his website. But it was on Netflix when I first saw it. And they'll do interviews where he's just, Iannucci or whatever his name is, is tearing Stuart Lee apart. Any real comedy fans out there who want to see a super intelligent stand-up, who can do the things that get annoying and then it's funny again, you know, that type of stuff, he's amazing. And this was a series of like six different shows where he would do stand-up intercut with interviews,

and they were great, and he tears apart. And it was with Armando Iannucci? Yes, Armando iannucci did it with him he in fact was the interviewer on those interviews yeah well uh it was it was tough it's it was because the worst part is is like his joke is james corden's a big fan of mine uh i don't reciprocate it's like, that's fucking harsh. Oh, it gets worse than that. Yeah.

He's like, imagine James Corden listening to my comedy. He's like, that's like a dog listening to classical music. So listen, while I saw it on Netflix, I had just started on The Late Late Show. So I come in. I had not seen that dig against Corden. I had just started on the Late Late Show so I come in I had not seen that dig against Corden I had just found Stuart Lee and I come in I go

to the Brits I'm working with tons of Brits at Corden I'm like dude I'm probably years behind on this but Stuart Lee and then they look around and close the door oh shit they're like yeah maybe don't bring up to James I'm like okay but James really did like him too damn he had a great line he's a great writer he had a great line when James moved They're like, yeah, maybe don't bring up to James. I'm like, okay, but James really did like him too.

Damn. He had a great line. He's a great writer. He had a great line when James moved, because he had just moved here to do the Late Late Show. And he goes, well, Britain's loss is American's loss also. This week's song, Catchy Little Diddy from Ryan X. Thank you, Ryan. Enjoyed it. Yeah, that was very cool. Homemade. Homemade grassroots. Uh, we've got some corrections here. Uh, couldn't agree more that,

that the bazooka Joe comedy bit is hilarious. However, that one is Bob Odenkirk's and not Michael Keaton's. I remember that. Right. I don't know. I know how you enjoy being corrected from Barry J. Crow. But here's what I wrote back to Barry. I said, you're 100 percent wrong. It was Michael Keaton. And I sent him a clip. Well, first he sent me the Bob Odenkirk clip. and it's Bob Odenkirk doing the same bit Michael Keaton did 10 years earlier no which is on stage reading a bazooka joke comic I mean I don't think he stole it from him but it's the same fucking bit they both do it and the worst part is here's the thing about I Odenkirk is a goddamn brilliant brilliant actor Writer, director, all that

I never liked to stand up Because he used to come in to like Largo And he would do these routines That were just shitting On stand up comedians Like satirizing them in this very Mean spirited way And the bit he was doing

Was exactly that He was playing like a hacky comedian But the irony is He was playing like a hacky comedian. But the irony is he was stealing a bit from Michael Keaton, who did that bit in a very unhacky way. He was talking about existentialism in Bazooka Joe. It was like a brilliant bit. And I just hate when alt comics try to shit on guys that actually go out on the road and make a living telling jokes to people that fucking work real jobs.

No, I'm with you. I think that was part of the time where they were trying to self-identify as the alternative comedy scene. You know what I mean? And so part of that, sadly, was punching at traditional stand-up. punching uh punching at traditional stand-up uh matthew troncholetti who's a friend of the show said gibbons was floored by the irony of the staunch anti-helmet guy dying in a motorcycle crash without a helmet that is literally the opposite of irony that is exactly what you would expect to happen in that situation and is therefore a coincidence and not ironic. Is Mike a big Alanis Morissette fan? And I wrote back you saying that a guy who's saying you don't need a helmet to

ride safely on a motorcycle dying from a head injuries on a motorcycle is not irony. That's exactly irony. Well, yes. So there's a couple of types of irony. Like one is, well, if the, if the thing is expected to happen, like, you know, if you, if you kind of close to the Atlanta Morrison, if you bring out an umbrella and then it rains, you know, that's not ironic. So that's, I think what he's saying, but especially dramatic irony. I mean, I think the number, and it comes from Greek tragedy. It's named after a character. I think the ultimate ironic example is Oedipus. So Oedipus was everyone knew, everyone knew he was going to fuck his mom. The audience, the readers knew he was going to kill his dad and fuck his mom. He didn't. He was fully under the impression on this mission. He was, he had his helmet on and was not going to fuck his mom. And, uh,

and sure enough, he did. And so that is dramatic irony, but I appreciate Matthew writing in. Yeah. I think it's also ironic. I think that he was writing in trying to correct me by fucking writing gibberish.

I'm kidding. Matthew, uh, Mark, Mark Gowitzer said Velma not thelma i was talking about how uh velma is the character on scooby-doo who is now an out lesbian they oh right remember her uh her the v is for vagin her glasses steamed up when she saw a girl. And then my joke was, and then she traded in the mystery van

for a Subaru Legacy Outback. There it is. Hey now. Hey now. Did that in my stand-up last night. Got a big laugh. There it is. Speaking of my stand-up,

I'm going to be coming to Tampa Bay, Florida, November 17th to the 19th. Look at you. At Side Splitters. Great club. Oklahoma City on December 1st. Fort Worth, Texas. Hyenas on December 2nd and 3rd.

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Take action. So close. You got a paper to crinkle oh boy do I look at this little wrapping paper extra extra we all love it

extra alright front page take it away a cisgender woman harassed another cisgender woman with short hair in the public restroom of the Rampart Casino in Las Vegas because she thought she was transgender. The short-haired woman, who goes by CreatingJRose on the video sharing app TikTok, recorded the incident and shared details of what happened next. She says she was getting a lawyer to sue the woman and the casino over what happened.

I mean, look, it happens. I once yelled at Ellen. You did. But she was in the men's room. So, I mean, that was, you know. This is, it sounds to me, what doesn't happen in Vegas stays in Vegas. What is this story even? Two women yelled at each other in the bathroom?

I guess, no, the woman was yelling at her to get out of the bathroom because she thought she was transgender. And she was in the... First of all, what are you worried about? Yeah. What's she going to do? Are you afraid you're going to get attacked by somebody in the bathroom? Here's what you do.

You're in the bathroom. Take a shit. Fart and shit. Nobody's going to bother you. It's's like bear spray you're also filming her you're also yeah you got her on film it's ridiculous women women cis women it's a litigious society we're in right now oh i can't wait that lawyer drops that case doesn't even hear all of it do we want to read this twitter well one thing i thought was funny we everyone knows the twitter story now he's going to charge eight bucks for a monthly subscription right and then if you want your blue

check if you want to be verified you're now going to have to pay eight dollars a month. Right. So what I liked was, did you see where, um, uh, Stephen King tweeted him? No. Stephen King tweeted Elon Musk $20 a month to keep my blue check. Fuck that. They should pay me. If that gets instituted, I'm gone like Enron. And then he got a reply from Elon. We need to pay the bills somehow, exclamation mark. Twitter cannot rely entirely on advertisers. How about $8? So I guess like Stephen King's worth $500 million and, you know, Musk is worth however many billion and they're haggling over $12. I love it. I love it. Um, I got my

check. I'll tell you the check system is a little bit elitist. I mean, I, when I had, I had like 90,000 followers and I didn't have a check. And so I like wrote to them and I asked them for a check. And, and apparently when you do that, do that, they will not give you a check. If you ask for one, they won't give it to you. They act like they're some fucking nightclub, some hip nightclub. Here's the thing, Twitter, you're not hip. You are the least hip social media app. You are going by the wayside, and you should, I don't know,

I think maybe it's because I was Irish. Probably. Want some more of that discrimination. But so Stephen King also brought up a good point. He referenced the Huckleberry Finn who was getting paid by his friends for them to paint his grandmother's fence, right? Or his aunt's fence or whatever it was, you know? And it's like, yes, Stephen King is supplying you with content. You're going to charge him for supplying your technology with content?

Right, right. And everybody else. I posted this. I reposted it. I retweeted, ironically. Maybe not ironically. Calm down, Matthew. Rob Kaczynski was on the East Enders, a comedy guy.

And he goes, years ago before verified accounts were a thing, back when I was on the East Enders, I was contacted multiple times by parents of children who had been conversing with me online. 11 to 15 year old children that had been talking with a fake me. I was informed one of these children went missing. I, um, I didn't have a social,

I didn't have social media at the time. I didn't understand it. Um, anyway, he goes on about, there was actually a purpose for verifying people cause there's so many scams. Right.

Right. Um, anyway, and he goes into it and he, and he defends that obviously if they sell it to you they're going to make sure it's you but um anyway he made a good point with that that i never thought of i could live without i could live without twitter i put stuff on instagram and it gets a lot more traffic than it does on twitter i find twitter is kind of dead it doesn't it doesn't

really you don't get that response that you do from other social media. My kids and all their friends, none of them are on Facebook, of course. And I mean, obviously Instagram is the exception, but none of them are on old school Facebook and none of them are on Twitter. Right. Uh, speaking of Twitter, uh, Hitler. Oh. A man who drew national attention and condemnation for wearing an Adolf Hitler costume. I did that. He was fired from his job at the Madison Children's Museum on Tuesday night. Museum officials say the man's costume was completely unacceptable and runs counter to everything the museum believes. You mean like depicting things that happened in history?

Statements from the Children's Museum and Madison Police said the man has cognitive disabilities. Oh, right. Sounds like a pretty good Hitler to me. Yeah, right? He really went deep into the character. Method. I mean, it runs counter to everything the museum believes.

How about believing in cutting a guy with intellectual disabilities a break for one bad judgment call? Could that be something you believe in? Also, listen, this is just fact. Hitler adored most children. Most of them, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So.

And also, as far as costumes go, is the devil not more evil than Hitler? The devil's killed half the people. According to my Catholic upbringing, half the people go to hell. That's way worse than. Is it only half? No, no. Probably not in the world. Yeah. Well, if you're not Catholic. That's way worse than. Is it only half? No, no, not in the world. Yeah. Well, if you're not Catholic.

So, yeah, probably. I think half the Catholics go to hell if they haven't totally accepted or repented or, you know, or maybe they're stuck in purgatory. Whatever the story is. Yeah. All right. Give me a crinkle. Crinkle time. Good news for Govans. I love it love it i gotta hear about him up there well as people know gubbins grew up in mill valley which is a

rich town uh just north of san francisco and um he heard I was coming up here, so he took a trip for the weekend so we could hang out and he could do a spot. And he's like, oh, I'm going to fill your show for you. He goes, I'm going to come in. We're going to pack the place. I can already hear him screaming, I did not say that. And so he goes, all right, but I want to but I go, why don't you do Thursday or Friday?

He goes, no, I want to do Saturday early show. It's like, first of all, Saturday early show sells out. It always sells out. I don't need help selling tickets on Saturday early show. And then he starts sending me his guest list. He's got like 14 people on the guest list. Guess what that means? I don't get paid for those tickets. He's doing the opposite people on the guest list. Guess what that means? I don't get paid for those tickets.

He's doing the opposite of packing the place. He's taking away tickets that I would be selling that would go into my pocket so that his cousins can sit out there for free. What is this ride from the airport? Oh, and he's going to do 10 minutes of stand-up. I guess I should mention that. Oh, yeah. Wait, what am I saying? saying god i'm so spaced out on these drugs this is going down tonight yeah this is tonight wow sorry i missed that entirely yeah oh i cannot wait to hear an update next week i cannot wait to hear how it goes i'm gonna record his set i'm gonna play some clips from his set

he's a good comic i mean dennis dennis cracks me up and he always a very good comic he's not very into preparing no he likes to feel it and boy when he does feel a room and nails it there's nothing better yeah he's really good on the roll um and then talk about the ride to the airport with mikey fitz oh we were gonna do now. Well, that they've already gotten so angry. He asked for it's just typical gubbins of getting very angry at Mikey about Mikey was said he could pick him up. We shouldn't go into it because it's a he said he said and it's a whole whole ordeal. Forget it. OK. All right. What I in this section, though, I would like because it's our local section, so to speak.

This morning, I get a nice sweet text from my friend Dickie and Adrian that Rosie's Bagels was delivered downstairs. I had not placed an order, but they knew about my hip surgery. Oh, very nice. And then it took me, I had asked Olivia three times just to go downstairs and get it. There's an elevator. Don't forget, Rosie's Bagels LA. If you live on the west side and you want to get some delicious homemade Montreal style bagels with spreads and locks and whatever else you need. It's cheap.

It comes to your door, but it's only on Sunday mornings. And I plan to shit them out next thursday hey now yeah uh give me a crinkle entertainment here we are in the entertainment section what's going on with better call saul okay so i finished it nice and i was uh underwhelmed but you always are always you're always underwhelmed by finales i'm not come on i rave about things on here i can't stop talking about silence of the lambs and i give it up for great shows no no but there was a but there's a caveat i didn't watch Better Call Saul appropriately. I watched it over a seven, six year period or something ridiculous. And and not even like year to year. Like I split up seasons with a year in between viewing, you know, episode six and seven. Anyway, after it ended, I'm like, I should give this guy props. I found this YouTube breakdown and it turns out this guy does it for all these shows. I have never seen a more astute breakdown like a Shakespearean analysis of one of Shakespeare's plays.

He was like, did you notice when they were leaning against the wall in the prison, like all the shadows like went this way. That's that's calling back to that, that defining moment when they were opening their office and all the shadows. Wow. You know, you, I'm going to send it to you because you, you did really appreciate the ending. What I realized is man, shame on me. There was, this show was very, it took its time a little more than I liked, but it was very, very much into characters and theme. And I missed a lot of it.

Yeah. Okay. Bob Odenkirk's best work since he stole that bit from Michael Keaton. Big news. Oh, I saw Michael Keaton. I watched Jackie Brown for the first time. He's in that. What did you think of it?

Jackie Brown sucks, and maybe I need that guy to tell me why it's good. I think it sucked. It was so long, and it was about one heist, and it was all like him explaining, no, but if we, it was all, you could just hear Tarantino through his characters, which sometimes works really well. But it was all like, no, but then why wouldn't she take the bag? Like, it was almost like he had gotten notes and put the notes in there. Like why his thing was an

airtight, the heist, you know? Yeah. I think that, um, uh, I think it wasn't his best movie. I think it was the first one. Our buddy, Billy Clark was the first AD on, I think up until then he'd be second AD. And, uh, Robert Forrester though, there's something about him, man. You just can't stop looking at him. You know, he's the old school. He was the next Tarantino, you know, that Tarantino plucked from obscurity. But, you know, he was a great actor back in the day. And God, he has a magnetism about him.

I will say that. Yeah. Gubbins is now texting me. Yo, bro, is there grub there? Can I get food before the show? Julia Roberts, big news. Oh, yeah. Not a racist.

A Georgia native and daughter of acting teachers, Julia Roberts revealed during an interview with Gayle King recently that civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. and his wife Coretta Scott King were responsible for paying Isn't that amazing? The acting school was one of the only schools in the region at the time that was willing to accept King's children due to the color of their skin. Isn't that amazing? Gayle King noted that the idea that black children were interacting with white students had a profound impact on Roberts as she has become a welcoming person of all races and ethnicities. moment while filming Sleeping with the Enemy in the South in the early 1990s, Roberts was caught saying, caught, that she believed a South Carolina community was horribly racist due to a restaurant in the town's refusal to serve a black friend of hers. Their comment resulted in a bit of

controversy when the Pretty Woman star's career was reaching its peak. This story so confused me so a restaurant in the 1990s refused to serve a black friend of hers and she tried to make a comment that no one would hear and is that taking a stand like what yeah yeah yeah she all she also said stalin was a bad guy. But whispered it. Yeah. I mean, do I have this right? Was there any world in the 1990s in what state was this? Sorry. Georgia.

In Georgia, her home state, that had a right to discriminate because it was private? No. Right. No way. And also, let's back this up. Let's back up the truck. Beep, beep, beep. Do we really believe this happened?

You're right. And Gandhi picked up the check when my parents ate at Non of the Above on East 6th Street. Non of the above. Did that really exist? Yeah, I looked up funny names for Indian restaurants online. Oh my God, that's a great one. That's perfect.

Cheryl Burke claims her ex-boyfriend once whipped her with a belt in front of his parents, whom she said did nothing to help. The Dancing with the Stars pro detailed the alleged graphic experience on Red Table Talk with host Jada Pinkett Smith and blah, blah, blah.

Discussed trauma bonding at length. In high school, I'll never forget it. The person I was with on and off for about four years whipped me with a belt. I would keep that off. And she kept coming back. Yeah. I had bruises all over my legs.

I remember his parents were watching it, didn't do anything. And it wasn't like he was hitting me. He was whipping me. I bet they did something. I bet the dad ran and got solved and some gauze and started masturbating. Yes.

Jerking with the parents. Yeah. Jada said, Jadaada was like you think that's trauma i know a comedian that got the shit slapped out of my national tv that's not making a a joke that wasn't even that mean he called me beautiful all right let's make america Florida. I love this one. Here we go. I have the energy to read this one. A man, I found this story. It's not like, you know, a hard joke, but it was casually made me laugh.

A man casually, there's a word, casually carrying a shotgun, walked into a Florida convenience store during an attempted robbery. Rakeem Stephan Tate, 32, walked around the store for a few seconds before a clerk is heard talking to him. The clerk apparently noticed Tate arming himself before he entered the store and went into a back room and he armed himself. before he entered the store and went into a back room and he armed himself. Tate is heard asking the employee, what kind of weapon you got? The employee responds and Tate says, I'm from Chicago,

bro. He then says, I don't mean no harm. I'm just not from around here before he slowly walks out of the store. Tate was arrested soon after. This is not a joke. This was in the article. Tate was arrested soon after. And the police pulled him over and goes, you're not in Chicago anymore. You're under arrest.

It's like the wizard of Oz, except, except now Dorothy's on methamphetamines as I am right now as well. I'm from Chicago, bro. Like, all right, I'm not going to take any Skittles. I'm just going to walk out of here peaceful. What kind of gun do you have? It's crazy. Only in Florida do you casually walk around with a shotgun in a convenience store. It's casual. I'm not from here.

I don't know how it works here. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do some sports. You got it. All right, let's skip that one. All right, let's just talk about it. The Bucs are now, there was no game this week because they had that Thursday game. So you're now up $200.

Now, there was no game this week because they had that Thursday game. So you're now up $200. And this weekend, playing the Rams in Tampa Bay, and the Buccaneers are giving them three points. I mean, if this game had happened at the beginning of the season, they'd be giving the Rams like 11 points. Wait, wait. You're not saying Tampa Bay is favored, are you? Yep.

That seems – I know I don't follow sports too well. Are the Rams that average? Yeah, they're pretty average. They've dropped a lot of games. I think they're about 500. Buccaneers, let's see here. Anyway, whatever. We'll confirm it, but whatever the line is at game time, as we know.

But that seems like I'm going up 250. This is getting ugly. And meanwhile, the divorce proceedings are over. Like, they already are divorced. That's fucking quick. That's like in two weeks they got separated. And, I mean, you got to think about the assets that they're splitting up how did they even how did they even figure that out in two weeks um i just found the odds yeah three all right so yeah there it is but yes we're correct you're

correct um i know you know what that made me think of was i wonder what went wrong a few weeks ago when because clearly the ink was already drying on that thing you know what i mean like normally the real back and forth obviously is happening in the negotiating and that seems like it was already done if they've filed right um i mean jesus your divorce took years well we didn't rush it either like we weren't we were low priority because we were you know uh what's it called uh mediating and stuff like that so we were also low priority but also the back then to it was it was a comedy getting the lawyers two time free times to align. Yeah.

Like, no, not next week. What about the week after? I can only do Wednesday. I can't. What about the week after? Like, it happened every time. I love it. And you're paying those people $600 an hour.

Yeah. Not me, but she was. Mine was cheaper. Let's go to international. And it showed. Okay. mom's cheaper let's go to international and it showed okay well a grandmother's loved one's worst fears were confirmed after her remains were were found inside a 22 footfoot-long snake in Indonesia. Those were their worst fears.

I hope those fears started when they saw a fat snake and that wasn't just their fears in life. Yeah, right, right. Very Freudian to have that as your main fear. Her grim death at the hands of the python was revealed after villagers cut the serpent's bulging belly open. The family of Jara, 54. 54-year-old grandmother.

They got slowed down there in Indonesia a little bit. I'm surprised the snake got her. Thank God they have big snakes. Keep that population under control. She was collecting rubber from a plantation. It is thought that she was likely swallowed whole after being bitten and suffocated to death. It turns out it is one of the top causes of death when you go into the plantation jungle to collect rubber.

Yes. I looked it up. Yes. That's why it was their worst fear. Swallowed whole. That's gross, man. And just the image of that snake trying to get it down. Yeah.

I got to think because it probably, if you think about it, you're running from the snake. The snake is probably swallowing your legs first. So your head is alive as your body is being drawn into the snake's body i wonder well first they make you dead they suffocate yeah that's true and then i think i don't know why i know this but god sometimes and now it's going to because the algorithm hears me some my computer's on so now i'm going to get my feed so to speak is going to get all these snake feedings on it they might start with the head yeah i think it's yeah i don't know i don't know it gets a little unwieldy if they start with one leg then he has to back it all up and go

back and get the two wrote it in here demon Demmon wrote it in here. Demmon wrote it in. Snakes typically begin to eat a prey once it has been overpowered to the point where it can no longer struggle and potentially cause damage. Prey almost always swallow the head first, as this will cause the prey's limbs to fold against the torso. Oh, so gross. All right. Well, Grandma's death wasn't that bad then. At least she went in head first.

Poor snake. All that old person smell and the tissues up the sleeve and all the hard candies. Oh, God. Yeah. And the nylon. The reading glasses around the neck. Try to digest nylons. Good luck, snake.

Yeah. Forget it. Here's a story about some younger women. Mariana Varela, Miss Argentina, and Fabiola Valentine, Miss Puerto Rico, announced they tied the knot on Instagram. Eww! Valentine added the caption, After deciding to keep our relationship private, we opened the doors to them on a special day. The two pageant winners met at miss grand international in 2020 and started dating

in secret although they have regularly posted photos together with very gay captions well that that's a honeymoon video that might get some traction yeah were they competing against each other uh i don't know but i would imagine whoever won gets serviced first in that relationship. It's some sexy countries there. Puerto Rico and Venezuela, for sure. Argentina, I mean. Sorry. Yeah.

I mean, this is definitely the hottest lesbian couple ever assembled. I'd have to go back to what was the lesbian scene with- In the pool? Gina Gershon. Oh. Oh. I don't know that one. Anyway, this is-

You're not thinking of the one from Wild Things or Wild- No, that was good too. But no, there was- I was never rah-rah over lesbian scenes. Gina Gershon lesbian scene. What movie that was. She was with another hottie. Are you mistaking Larry David for a woman?

Because they had a scene. Bound. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer Tilly. And who was she with? Jennifer Tilly and who else? Gina. Yeah, and who else? Gina.

Yeah, and Gina Gershon. Oh, my God. That was good. Anyway, title of the next story is Kaputin. Vladimir Putin does have early stage Parkinson's disease and pancreatic cancer. Leaked spy documents have alleged in the latest unverified claim. The Russian leader has been plagued with rumors about his illness for months

and has regularly appeared twitching and unsteady in public, sparking hope in Ukraine and the West the despot could soon relinquish power. Hope. Yeah, that's what he's going to do. He's going to gently relinquish power. I doubt his shaky finger is going to be on the launch button and take things a very different way.

Yeah, right, right. It's not going to change anything. Michael J. Fox did three movies last year. I think this guy can run a simple illegal war. It is very simple. Well, he's not in the country so that you know it's a it's he's just calling the shots it's wrong he can't get any fucking soldiers he's trying to he you know they they put out an order for 300,000 soldiers and the men just started leaving the country people are not into this this is not going the way he had hoped who does russia think they are amer That's exactly what would happen here.

Let's do some This Day in History. There it is. Okay. 1962, the UN condemns apartheid. I always say apartheid. Some people say apartheid. What do you say? I think it condemns apartheid. I always say apartheid. Some people say apartheid. What do you say? I think it might be apartheid.

I say apartheid, but I don't know if I'm right. All right. So the UN General Assembly adopts a resolution condemning South Africa's racist apartheid policies, calling on all its members to end economic and military relations with the country. From 1948 to 1993, apartheid, which comes from the Afrikaans word for apartness, was government-sanctioned racial segregation and political and economic discrimination against South Africa's non-white majority. Among many injustices, black South Africans were forced to live in segregated areas and couldn't enter whites-only neighborhoods unless they had a special pass.

They also couldn't lunch with Julia Roberts. Right. Although white South Africans represented only a small fraction of the population, they held the vast majority of the country's land and wealth. Following the 1960 massacre of unarmed demonstrators in Sharpeville near Johannesburg. Sixty nine black people were killed and over 180 were injured. The international movement to end apartheid gained wide support. Do you remember at BU? It was a big deal. I used to go to a lot of marches. We had a lot because our our university, who was run by the president, John Silber, was heavily invested in South Africa.

And the students demanded that they divest. And I remember doing a lot of marches and eventually they divested. There was also all the musicians got together across the globe to ban or to boycott Sun City. Sun City. And what band went against the boycott and played their queen when did they do it right before we are the world the end of that movie and when they did we are the world or whatever what was it um what was the big concert not we are the world uh live when they did live eight also he did not know he had aids don't get me started on the

queen movie what a piece of shit especially the ending my case they loved apartheid that's my my take on it it's a little strong but uh they did go against the boycott and that is why geldof originally did not invite them to live aid is because we view the world differently. You just won against the boycott and played Sun City. I went to Sun City once after the boycott ended. Trying to fire it up again? It's a really fun, it's like a fun park. They have a water park there.

And South Africa, here's the thing about South Africa that strikes you is I've been there twice. There are no rules. There are no regulations. There's no signs. You just figure shit out. And if you die, you die. Australia was like that.

I found. Yeah. What was, and I think South Africa more, but Australia was like, you guys haven't killed the tons of animals that can kill you like easily. Like when you go for a hike. Yeah.

Like, you know, the insects, the most poisonous snakes in the world. You know, and there's a lot less concern with being sued over there. Yeah. So they had a wave pool at Sun City that was, they put it on 11. Like the one in New Jersey? Like the, what was that one? Yeah. It was exactly like that. I mean, you literally, it was packed shoulder to shoulder with people,

and they would launch these waves that would send you flying in the air, landing on other bodies. It was insane. That's great. And then they had a restaurant at Sun City, and I remember it was called Carnivore, because it's right next to a game park in Pielansburg. And they would come by with skewers to your table and they would tell you what animal because they were always thinning out the populations of the game park.

And they'd be like, giraffe, sir. Hippopotamus, sir. And like you would just grab a slab of fucking you know crocodile and eat it it was amazing white woman from england sir all right um all right let's do some letters to the editor okay then all right all right this is a good this is a good truncation i can feel the meds wearing off matt in brooklyn yeah by the way if we're speeding a little bit today it's because mike This is a good truncation. I can feel the meds wearing off. Matt in Brooklyn. Yeah, by the way, if we're speeding a little bit today, it's because Mike is not in good shape, and we're out of respect to his old age.

This went way better than I thought, even though it didn't really come with the jokes. But all right, let's do it. This is Matt in Brooklyn. Meghan Markle was also in horrible bosses with Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis. This is coming off her criticism of being a briefcase girl on Deal or No Deal. She was the UPS delivery person who Jason Sudeikis' character can't believe is real because she is too beautiful.

And where are the hidden cameras? A lot more sexist than a briefcase girl. Oh, well, I can't wait until she turns on horrible bosses. Right. She's going to call them horrible. Oh, FedEx Delivery. Denman is writing, correction, FedEx Delivery.

He takes his Horrible Bosses trivia very seriously. Kiel Kennedy? We love him. Is that his real name, Kiel Kennedy? Yeah. I don't like that kyle please have gubbins on the show at least once for reference i know mike was musing it might be fun to never have him on and at least one audience member agreed but why it would only

enhance the good news for gubbins segment going forward and will certainly not ruin it the build up has been long enough hearing you guys constantly lovingly bash him is hilarious and demands a response. Let him. Then we have a better frame of reference and we'll enjoy the next shit talk even more. Ah. Let's see how he does tonight.

He also wants to bring back Family Circus. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I said I was going gonna have bunny host on who is the uh family who is the uh lockhorns author and i had gotten her on an email and she said she's good so i gotta follow up on that well i appreciate them listening he and patty it's so sweet and that's all folks obituary this week uh let's start with takeoff a rapper with the hip-hop trio migos known for hits including bad and bougie died in a shooting at a bowling alley in houston at the age of 28 very sad uh he formed migos in atlanta with his uncle and cousin um they had a hit versace and uh anyway jesus yeah i don't i don't know much about him but um i know it made

a lot of news i was saying before the podcast some of these now because i'm getting so old uh and and i'm old enough to remember when kurt cobain died in 60 minutes uh the last segment was what's his name who did it um the you know the last thought andy rooney andy rooney was kind of like because it was such huge news. And he was like, what, what is so big about this news? He kind of like, you know, and he wasn't gentle about it. And then it was the most male 60 minutes had ever received the next week. And he had to walk back his statements. Wow. Yeah. So I, I'm admitting I'm feeling a little Andy Rooney ish. I mean, listen, I've heard of the Migos and all that. But I and I probably heard Versace, of course. But I don't know much about this gentleman. My son is a huge fan.

Migos is his favorite, favorite hip hop band. Right. Oh, wow. Seen them many times. Yeah. Oh, wow. Another quick one we want to mention is thomas cahill who wrote the book um how the irish saved civilization the untold story of ireland's heroic role from the fall of rome to the rise of medieval europe great fucking book and it was actually commissioned by i believe it was commissioned by jacqueline kennedy. Yeah, who read an essay that he'd written and then commissioned him to write the book. And the book, it's an amazing story about how, you know, when Rome fell, they burned all the Bibles.

Like literally every Bible in Europe was burned. Don't tell me Ireland saved the Bibles ireland you ever see the book of kells at trinity college sure well there were thousands of those books where the where these irish monks would hand write the the bible and they say it saved civilization it saved catholicism or christianity i guess I'm mixed on that. Yeah, well. All right, let's cheer up after all this sadness. Oh, I didn't put a funny in.

All right, yeah, okay. Go ahead. First of all, a lot of people pointed out that John Oliver is stealing our thunder. out that John Oliver is stealing our thunder. He did a segment on, uh, this week with John Oliver, where he talked about how, um, how, uh, out of his league Dagwood is with Blondie. He did a little rant on it. It was very funny. And, um, and then somebody sent in this, I think it looks like a New Yorker cartoon, but it was very funny. Do you see it? It's a woman in bed and she looks busted. And as a businessman, her husband has now walked in with his briefcase. He looks at the ground. There's a red and white horizontally striped shirt and

clothes. And he goes, okay, where is he? Which if you don't get it, it's Waldo. Waldo is. Chris, can you sneak in a random or today's family circus? And I'll do that. I forgot. In my haze, I forgot to put even a far side in today. So I apologize to everybody. But I'll do a family circus blind. All right. So the Lockhorns.

Here's one. Leroy is walking away looking a little pissed off. And Loretta is showing her two friends her phone. And she goes, and here we are hitchhiking a ride back from Atlantic City. That's short and funny. That's really concise. Wow. And then there's another one. they're at a costume party for

halloween and there's a guy dressed as the grim reaper and leroy's walking away from him in disgust and he says to loretta figures he kept trying to sell me life insurance cute and now here's a great one uh leroyoy is in bed, unshaven, waking up with Loretta, and she's holding her throat. And he goes, you've lost your voice? You should go and see a doctor in a month or two. Nice. Now we got, oh, look at we got a little Farside here.

Oh, Fars side was put in here Okay I've never seen this one It seems like an old one It's a peacocks are in a bar Or the rest of them chickens No they're called peahens The females are peahens

Oh boy you're getting technical Anyway one of them has his whole thing Blown up his tail And the one goes to the other. Don't encourage him, Sylvia. So, yeah, I don't know. I want to pick that one, but okay. Is there a family circus?

That's the one I was going to do blind. Well, why don't I do a blondie, and then you do the family circus that Denman is searching for right now. Okey-dokey, perfect. So, here we go. Here's Dagwood. What is he doing this week, this guy? Fucking in bed with pajama. Does he wash them?

You know, Blondie probably washes. And so he's laying there. He's in bed. She's up. She's already dressed. She has on a black velvet skirt, knee length, and a cute top with black cuffs on a white shirt hair is just fucking perfect and she goes why aren't you getting dressed for work he goes i called in sick

i'm gonna stay home and watch the world series and she bends over she goes honey it's not a day game it's a night game and then the last frame is him at work and the boss goes i thought you were sick in bed and he goes well this shows you how dedicated i am this shows you what this shows you not only what a fucking poor worker he is but also when when is the fucking world series ever been a day game i think there have been very rare occasions not Not during the week. Not on a Monday to Friday. No. I'm with you. Okay, here's Family Circus.

I only see the picture. Oh, good Lord. I don't even have a guess. It's a bunch of kids on the football field and the snotty little blonde-haired kids there. And he's talking to a huddle, and he's holding the ball, and there's three other kids. They have a helmet on and stuff. One of them's taking a knee.

Yeah. I mean, I think it's a huddle, and he's pointing to one kid, and he probably goes, God, I don't even – do you have a guess? Did you see it? I saw it. Oh, I mean, they love wordplay. Uh, it's going to be something about like, um, Oh God, I should have a guess. What would it be about? Uh, maybe he goes, uh, Ronnie, you said you were a tight end,

but you feel more like a wide receiver. You, that would be, that is wordplay. That is wordplay. Lend him your helmet because I'm going to throw it to him. I don't know. That would be lame and that would be great. Let's have halftime now.

I'm hungry. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Wow. All right. I'm hungry for a laugh right now. Yeah, I'm starving. We want to give a shout out before we go.

There is an organization that is very close to me in Mike's hearts because the people that run it as well as the essence of what the group does. I've worked with them a lot. It is a group that is called Comedy Gives Back. And our friends Zoe Friedman and Jodi Lieberman and Amber J. Lawson they launched it and they have raised millions of dollars I probably millions right probably close to it uh they've only been doing it for a few years and they provide support for comedians who are having a rough time I mean, they, they, we don't have a union. We don't have, um, pension funds. And so, uh, sometimes things get tough. We don't have mental health.

Yeah. They provide financial crisis relief, mental health, chemical dependency treatment. And, uh, they, they do a lot of amazing stuff for comedians. And I know a lot of comedians personally that have gone through recovery and had it paid for by them. They help people with their rent if they're going to get homeless. So anyway, you can help out. Text laugh to 707070 or go to comedygivesback.com. It's a charitable organization and they're really great. And we're doing a golf tournament coming up soon.

You going to play in the golf tournament, Mike? I got a new hip motherfucker. Yes, I am. I love it. All right. We also want to thank Midcoast Media, Chris Denman and Key and Beth and John, everybody over there that does a great job every week. We appreciate the support.

Thank you guys for your support, for your music that you send in, your logos. Please keep sending those in. We always need more. And we'll catch up to you guys very soon. Thanks for bearing with me. Thanks for doing all the heavy lifting, Greg. Of course. And what do I want to endorse?

Oh, I'm not jinxing him. But what was I talking about? Willie Oh, I'm not jinxing him, but, uh, but, uh, what was it about Willie Nelson at the top of the hour? He, I listened to redheaded stranger. Oh yeah. You told me to listen to redheaded straight and I listened to it and it was,

I had to sit down. I put it on in the background while I was cooking and I had to sit down and listen. It's so good. It's, it's so fucking pared down and simple and just beautiful. Yeah, it really is. All righty.

If I'm plugging anything, it's that. Other than that, what about you? You're plugging your comedy dates again? You already did it? I already plugged my dates. I can't wait to hear about Gubbins tonight and whatever food you're going to have there for them. And don't forget, if you're having some erectile dysfunction issues, rexmd.com

slash papers. Get started with free two-day shipping and a bunch of other great stuff. Perfecto. So I think we're going to tell everyone to take it eesh. Take it eesh! All righty. It's a Sunday paper This is Sunday Papers Podcast With Mike and Greg

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