Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 152 2/19/23

Episode Date: February 19, 2023

Greg is snubbed by his mom on Valentine's Day but gets some tips on being on Bert’s bus tour. Alabama is worried about UFOs, a TX woman finds a Pokemon that looks like a penis (because it is) and an asteroid is passing by Earth (lets hope).

Read all about it! Read all about it! I got this. Read all about it! I am now in my underwear. Happy news! Sad news! Happy news! Sad news! Hey, hey, hey, hey, now!

I am now in my underwear. I got that, and you're gonna clap, sir? I'm gonna clap. Well, okay. And then three, two, sir. I'm going to clap. Well, okay. And then three, two, one. Read all about it. Read all about it. Hear ye, hear ye.

Extra, extra. Raquel Welsh is dead. God, I can barely wait to talk about that. But I guess we will. We'll wait for the obituary. I did not hear you. What did you just say? I teased that we lost a sexy legend today.

We did. We did. Full disclosure to our listeners, we are taping this on Wednesday, the 15th of February. Does not feel right at all February. Does not feel right. It doesn't feel right. But I will be on a tour bus for the next five days. And probably, I think, I don't think I'm going to have the space to do a two-hour podcast from a bus with a bunch of nutsacks dangling by my face. Yeah.

Bert has a pretty big sack. I imagine I'll see that this week. Is it a big sack? Yes. It's not big. It's just the sack, though. He'll talk about it. Well, apparently there's a lot of cold plunges on this trip,

and we're working out constantly and showering together, so we'll all see each other's cocks a lot. When he and I did the cabin, you know, his show, I was helping out, and there was a hot tub, and he would get in and out of the hot tub, and everyone was like, oh, God, and he would just die laughing. You mean he would get in and out of the hot tub and everyone was like, oh, God. And he would just die laughing. You mean he get in and out naked? Yeah. Really? Well, he was, you know, he was naked a lot. Bobby Lee came up. They posed naked on a bearskin rug.

I have that photo. He's posted it also. Did you have no female crew members? Did you have no female crew members? No, there were some, and I think they were asked. But in the beginning, they all established that they're like, yeah, all in the name of comedy, it's fine. Okay. Yeah. Because, you know, Mindy Kaling kissed some famous actor on her TV show,

and she talked about it on Conan O'BrienBrien. She's getting shit about it now. What, what, what happened exactly? Uh, there was an actor and they were rehearsing a scene and then she improvised a kiss where she leaned in and kissed him up pretty good. Uh, I forget the actor.

He's like, uh, guardians of the galaxy actor. And, I think when you're in character, uh, yeah. I mean, is he complaining? Nope, but other people are saying that that was harassment.

Well, they could shut up also. Yeah. What is it to them? What do they care? Did it harass them? Did it make them so uncomfortable they have to speak out about it i chris denman is very upset about it he thinks that she's a fucked up person and uh well he thinks that it should only go from male to female that that move right right i get that uh you know

what i take it back i'm outra Lee Pace was the guy's name. And he's a hunky motherfucker. Super Bowl, you owe me some money, motherfucker. Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah, you do. It was reduced. You know, I got on a Zoom today, right? And this very high up agent at CAA, arguably the biggest agency or one of for sure used to be. And all of a sudden they're like Gibbons, I just have, you know, two of us on here,

big Philadelphia fans. And we've been angry and seething and all this. I'm like, oh yeah, no, I know that. I'm like, you know, they played Sunday, right? You know, so I made jokes, but I didn't know if they listened to this podcast. I don't know if a mutual friend, which we do have a mutual friend, told them how much I hate Philly. Yeah, I don't know what it was, but all of a sudden it was an 11 person Zoom. And the first two minutes were about me in Philadelphia. Yeah, you all you've certainly drawn a line in the sand. You've been very aggressively insulting to the people of Philadelphia. Yeah, you all, you've certainly drawn a line in the sand. You've been very aggressively insulting to the people of Philadelphia.

I mean, not so aggressive as like flipping over cars before the game even started, which they were doing. And they've been miserable their whole lives. They're not just miserable now. I'll tell you what.

I love Philadelphia people. I love the Philly women. They're not just miserable now. I'll tell you what. I love Philadelphia people. I love the Philly women. They're loud. They're loud and fun. Drunk. So, yeah, anyway, wait, but we had two bets, so I reduced how much I owe you, right? All right. So the first bet was 50 bucks on the under over. I took the over. So you lost that. I forget, what was the final score? The final score was, the under over was 50.5, and I think it hit at least 53. Oh, no, it went higher than that.

Chris Demmon's writing down. It was 38.35. Oh, God, so it was 73. Yeah, no, no, dude, even in the second quarter, you knew it was done. Yeah, but you won so many back because I bet you $20 that it would go to overtime, which I missed that win by 11 seconds. It would have gone into overtime.

I gave you 8-1 odds on that. Yeah. Because I looked it up. There's never been overtime in a Super Bowl, but then they looked at overtime you know percentages uh in regular season and in playoffs yeah and it landed at about a general eight to one or something yeah that was a good bet i really wow i mean it it so easily could have done that that would have been 160 well i know 160 plus the 50 i would have gotten some of my $550 back from you this year that I lost on the Tom Brady bet.

You should have bet me $50 because then it would be like, yeah. $400. Yeah. Crazy. So how was your Valentine's Day? Uneventful. Did you FaceTime with your loved one? FaceTime, yes, sure.

I didn't think late, but like sent a gift and then FedEx. No signatures required, but you know what? The driver thinks so. And with three people home, left a note on the door. Sorry, no one's here. And three people were home. So all that's going on. It. Sorry, no one's here. And three people were home. So all that's going on. It's real fun. It's super fun. What did you say? It makes me resent. I already resent the holiday. Yeah, it makes me just resent it so much more.

What did you send? I don't want to talk about it. Oh, God, it's not there yet. Jesus, sounds like sexy underwear to me. You know what I did? I got creative. You want to know? Well, there's a running joke.

I send flowers. I have Whole Foods deliver flowers, but that means she has to put them together. Anyway, which I think is kind of, it's now a running joke. But I sent a bunch of items items and they appear very random. And she's like, she's like, Oh, is this like, he also sent me a recipe because she starts pulling out all this stuff. But basically what I did is I searched for keywords in a local whole, you know, in whole foods and, um, hearts of palm, hearts of celery, sweet peas, sweet, this this love whatever's like i i look for love sweet heart you know all that type of stuff sweet potatoes got sent and so she didn't catch on this is what you did yesterday huh this was yesterday those arrived on time. Oh, my God. Mike, so romantic and funny.

Creative. She thought it was creative. That's great. But really, in the end, what was my gift? Sweet potatoes. Yeah. Dirty, you know, misshapen sweet potatoes. Did you send pussy willows and apricots? I did not. I didn't think. Wait, why apricots? Because it looks like a vagina.

Is that what it is? Yes. I could look up the list. I got kind of creative. Anyway, as I look it up, how was yours? It was good. I bought her some fucking grocery store flowers and a good card. And then she got me a massage certificate, which we all know how the last one turned out.

Yeah, you bought her a good card? The card was good before you wrote something on it? Yeah. Before I wrote it, it was a papyrus card. And then I wrote some nice stuff. I'm very good with cards. I'm a card writer. I write some deep shit in there. I'm good.

Oh, okay. And then we went out to dinner with this other couple who we love. You know, Tommy and his wife. Tommy's good friends with Chaney and Dennis Gubbins. He's from Mill Valley, where those guys are from. You double dated on Valentine's? Always. Always.

Weird. What do you mean? You think it should be a solo night? Always is a joke. Huh? You think it should be a solo night? Just one couple? Yeah, I'm weird.

I'm weird that way. Huh. Cheerios that were heart-shaped. Nice. Yogi Tea, which is sweet lemon. Uh-huh. I did do chocolate-covered caramel, you know, so that was in the middle of the road. Sweet Lauren's Edible Chocolateocochunk Cookie Dough.

Granola Love Crunch Peanut Butter. Rose Prebiotic Soda. Sweet Kale. Sweet Potatoes. Some Flowers. Rose Pure, is it Castile? Bar of Soap? Sweet potatoes. Some flowers. A rose pure. Is it Castile? Bar of soap.

Love corn. Sweet peas. You get the idea. Jesus, how much did you spend? Sweet Italian sausage. No. Well, hopefully. Hearts of palm.

Yeah. What else we got here? Flowers, celery hearts. Kiss Pomodoro sauce. Anyway. Cocktail sauce. Oh, that would have been a good one. All right, next year I'm going to make it all sort of the double entendre puns.

I like that. That's good. All right. Yeah. My mom, who my whole life, my brother and sister have deeply resented me because my parents loved me more. And they didn't really make a secret about it. They absolutely found me more charming, especially when I got older, I got into comedy,

and they just thought that was the greatest. And I remember coming home in high school, and there was a book on the bed, on my bed, on the pillow, called The Favorite Child. And either my brother or my sister had left it on my pillow. And there was real resentment. And so that has shifted because now my mother, she stays with my sister in the summers. And my sister built an apartment in her basement for my mother.

Her husband is my brother-in-law is a construction guy. And they built this beautiful apartment in the basement. And so she stays there and she's had some health issues and my sister has because they're she's in New York has dealt with it and anyway my sister's now the favorite child and I was pretty sure about this but then uh there was a Valentine's Day uh message that went out. I sent my mom a big thing of flowers, and I just got a picture of the flowers and a happy Valentine's Day. That was it. That was the whole message. Then my mom accidentally CCs me on a text she sent to my sister, which said, To my beautiful daughter with so much love, you're a shining example of what a daughter can be. Loving and compassionate.

Beautiful and good. Honest in principle. Determined and independent. You're a shining example of what every mother wishes her daughter were, and I'm so proud of you. You don't write cards that well. My sister writes, Aw, thanks, Mom. That is beautiful. Heart,'t write cards that well. My sister writes, Aw, thanks, Mom. That is beautiful. Heart, I love you so much. My mom writes, Happy Valentine's Day with an

emoji with hearts in the eyes. So I write, So I guess they were sold out of sun cards? And my sister writes, LOL, Mom loves me more. Awkward. And then my mother writes, you are both one of the best. And then I wait.

I let that sit. I didn't reply to anything for like an hour, and then I gave it a thumbs up. I didn't give it a heart. I gave it a thumbs up. You are both one of the best is also a little cryptic. No, my grandfather had this thing. My grandfather was from Ireland and his big saying was he would tell people you're one of the best. You're one of the best.

Oh, OK. So it was a play on that. It's kind of like you when you're like one of my two favorite podcasts. Yeah. So so'm planning, and my sister doesn't know this, but I'm going to fly down to Florida next month and surprise my mom and help her out a little bit. Stock the fridge, take her for some walks, get some stuff in order. You know what's even a bigger surprise to your mom is that you're going to be in Florida all weekend and for like four or five days and you will not contact her.

Yeah, that's what my my mom needs to see Bert Kreischer's balls. That's perfect. He's a Florida man. Oh, yeah. Are we going to have him try to do a Florida man that we're going to drop into this podcast? Yes, we will. that we're going to drop into this podcast? Yes, we will.

We will get, I will get something with him on video on my phone. We'll get a Florida man. I think the move is I'll have Bert describe an incident that he was involved in in Florida, which would have qualified him for a Florida man article. He has no shortage of those stories. Yes. So I'll get that on video and I'll send it in.

Alright, sounds good. And then I got a note from Steve Hall who heard that I was going to be on this tour. Did I already re-up this? That I'm going on tour with Bert this week and we're doing dates in Savannah, Orlando, Tampa, and then we're doing dates in savannah orlando

tampa and then we're going to the daytona 500 and there's going to be uh four of us on the bus four comics plus i guess the tour manager and maybe somebody else um on this kick-ass bus and i've never been on a tour bus and i could not be more excited i so, I'm like a child going off to summer camp. So psyched. Well, you're going to get wedgies. You're going to get wedgies. I'm going to get wedgies. So it all tracks.

I'm going to have a penis written on my forehead with a Sharpie. So this guy, Steve Hall, said, I've been fortunate enough to be on a tour bus a couple times. Here's some advice. First rule is no shitting on the bus. And that stresses me out because what if you need to shit? What do you do? I think they wait till people fall asleep with their mouth open on Bert's bus.

Pretty sure. been on Bert's bus. Pretty sure. Second one is you have to sleep with your feet towards the front of the bus so you don't break your neck. And he says also talk to the bus driver. I used to sit up front for an hour or two on the overnight drives. And ours was Jimmy Buffett's driver. He he'd been doing it since the 50s. He played gospel with Elvis. He left Mick Jagger behind because he was being a dick. He was awesome. Do those drivers make that stuff up, you think? I don't know. Those are pretty detailed and hard to make up, maybe.

But you also want to keep the driver awake. Yes. I don't know how they do it. I want the driver to play Tiny Dancer at some point, in Almost Famous, and we're going to all sing it. What lyrics, of course. I guess I'll talk about

I saw two good documentaries. Well, I didn't see the second documentary. I started it. And we'll talk about that in entertainment, I guess. Okay. Good tease. Yeah, we'll move it down. Good tease. Yeah, deep tease. Deep teas uh by the way um shout out to all the great people that have been doing artwork on our logos and uh and music for

our our theme song we need some new stuff so if you have some ideas for songs uh or logos please send them in if you're going to do a song, just a gentle reminder that we can't use copyrighted material, so no covers. It has to be original music. Somebody wrote in that they accused somebody of using a cover, and then I asked the person who wrote it about that, and he said absolutely not. He looked at the chord progression and realized it was close to a Taylor Swift song, but it was in fact not. So we cleared that up. There's a guy on Instagram, and he talks about, I guess the technically correct word

is interpolations, not covers. is interpolate interpolations not covers and it's when you use a chord progression or in other words you're not you're not taking the master recording you're just doing it and it's we are so unaware of how many like radiohead like creep like they had to add a guy's name to the writing credit of Creep because they got busted because it was too similar. Like there's so many. Oh, my goodness. There's so many of them. It's it's it's and songs, you know, and and they've already, you know, settled. Huh? Yeah. Well, there's only so many chord progressions that really work you know uh but he referred to the chords that he had used there was actually a term for the chord progression that he used and he listed some other songs that used this chord

progression as well so there you go uh this week's logo comes from Lauren Miggins. Very cool logo. Really nice. It's our faces meshed together. The song was made by Bo Burnett. A very awesome techno mix. Really well done. Thank you. Thank you, Lauren and Bo.

Yeah. We got a correction from Andy who said, Greg, you flippantly said of Burt Bacharach, quote, he wrote really simple songs. I've never made a correction before, and I hope to never make one again. But his songs were not simple at all. So many chord and key changes, so much going on, but I guess he did it in a way that

made it seem simple. Maybe that's the secret to all good art. Yep. Maybe people listen to our podcast and it seems as if we've barely prepared and spent no money on production. It takes so long for us to get to that level of like undoing everything we know, undoing all the disposable facts, you know, that we can just recall at any minute. Stripping humor out of our punchlines. What you do to your hair, what you, I should say, undo to your hair. It's amazing. Look at it. Yeah.

Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. So I I saw this documentary on the Beach Boys and Don was was at a mixing board and I think it was. Wouldn't it be nice maybe? Anyway. No, no, no. What's the. God only knows. Yes, it was Only Knows. And anyway, whatever. It was a Beach Boys song. And he isolated it. And Don was like, I've been doing this for three decades. I have no idea what that is. And he goes, is that a flute with tons of reverb?

And then other tracks. And he couldn't believe what was on there. And anyway, it eventually led to him saying, no one thinks this is a complex song. No one at all. Everyone thinks it's the simplest song. And that maybe is part of their genius. Because no one also had heard anything like that. So at the same time, it was new and familiar.

Right, right. And I think that's what's going on with Mr. Bacharach. Now, it's funny that, you know, Pet Sounds is an album that like, you know, like I was exposed to the Beach Boys in a, you know, kind of like ancillary way growing up in New York. But it's not like when you live in California, they get played a lot more on the radio. And so I started to listen more. And then I'd heard Pet Sounds always listed at the top of the list of best albums of all time. I was like, the Beach Boys? The Beach Boys? Surfer music? So I listened to it with some headphones on, and I got goosebumps. And it carried me from beginning to end. And I've since gone on to probably listen to that album. I would say Blood on the Tracks, that album and Astral Weeks by Van Morrison are the three albums I've now listened to more than anything in my life. Yeah. No, those are,

you know, those are forever. Those are forever albums. Yeah. What are your three forever albums? those are forever albums yeah what is also what are your three forever albums oh i don't know and i think i have a lot more i mean there's definitely some radiohead in there uh class truly like like the bends yeah i mean yeah london calling's forever um london calling's great because it's like you could just be like, yeah, I want to listen to like almost a full album that sounds like reggae. That's on there. You know what I mean? Super hard punk. That's on there.

Not super hard punk, but punk is on there. Yeah, there's a lot of ska. There's a lot of different stuff. So that's what I like about it, too. But also Don was with the Beach Boys um at one point the ice lady's like so is that banjo and harmonica and I'm like I did not know those ever went into the studio uh when beat in a Beach Boys session um it was just super uh you know nuts how they approached or you you know, how Wilson approached songs.

Speaking of art that's made to look effortless, I will be performing at the Philadelphia Helium Comedy Club March 9th to the 11th. Los Angeles at the Improv. Me, you, and Gubbins doing the St. Patrick's Day shows March 17th, two shows. St. Louis, I will be April 1st. Chris Denman will be producing a stand-up comedy show that I will be in. So if it doesn't go well, we know who to blame.

Escondido, Grand Comedy Club in San Diego, April 14th through 15th. It's about an hour north of San Diego. Columbia, Missouri at the Blue Note, May 19th. Kansas City, Art Gossi Casino, May 20th. Boston, Laugh Boston in June. I think it's the 9th or the 11th. And Chris Denman is writing, pronounce Argosy. Argosy. Argosy. Argosy Casino. Argosy Casino. Yeah. Please show up. They're paying me a lot of money. The Blue Note is in Columbia, Missouri.

Is that a jazz club, I assume? I'm not sure. But somebody told me they played there, and it's great. Named after that, but not a jazz club, Denman is saying. Chris says it's a great venue. Speaking of great, how about Green Chef? Damn. Love it.

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You can do it with one click. Customized, baby. USDA-certified organic ground beef, chicken, sockeye salmon. Oh, God. 10-minute lunches. Mediterranean, the keto meal kits. They're amazing. They're so good.

I talked about it last week when Sophie and I were cooking side-by-side. I was doing one of their fish entrees and Sophie was doing a healthy bowl. Yeah. And it was really fun cooking. And also, people get concerned about packaging, but their meal kit is both carbon and plastic offset. They offset 100% of their carbon footprint, 100% of the plastic in the box. Their seafood meets the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch rank. It's all done with a good heart.

So go to greenchef.com. Sorry about the pause there. There's a lot to read. Go to greenchef.com slash papers 60, the number 60, and use code PAPERS60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Go to greenchef.com slash PAPERS60 and use code PAPERS60 to get 60% off plus free shipping. Look, Green Chef, it's the number one meal kit for eating well. Oh, they take the busy work of the prep cook and the measuring all the portions.

So you're really cooking this meal, which is fun. And all the busy work's done for you ahead of time. You just focus on the cooking. It's great. It's like Brian Regan has this funny routine about cooking shows. And he's like, yeah, anybody could be a great chef if you had glass bowls filled with the ingredients right in front of you. And you can just say, and I dump this in. And it's literally that.

It's literally that. He's like, if I had my own cooking show, it would be like 10 minutes of me trying to find the mixing spoon. And then 15 minutes where I realize I don't have eggs. Yeah. No, we're messes. All right, front page. And that's another thing. I mean, if it could help us.

Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! Front page. Front page. UFOs, people. We kind of snoozed on this last week, but we're going to do it this week.

The downing of four aerial devices by U.S. warplanes has touched off rampant misinformation about the objects, their origin, and their purpose, showing how complicated world events and lack of information can quickly create the perfect conditions for unchecked conjecture and misinformation. Doesn't take much anymore. The recent spate of UFO sightings came after NORAD officials changed their radar settings to be more sensitive to objects at high altitudes after discovering that China deployed a surveillance balloon in airspace above Alaska on January 28th.

Intelligence officials gave senators a closed briefing on the mysterious objects Tuesday morning. After its conclusion, lawmakers from both parties reiterated calls for Biden to provide more detail about the shoot downs. to provide more detail about the shoot downs. Quote, President Biden needs to get up in front of the people of the United States and tell them what he knows and let's get this thing over with, said Senator Tommy Tuberville out of Alabama. Get out there and tell people we're in good shape. We know what's going on and let's get on with our lives. Am I going to be diddled by a little green man?

I need to know. I mean, for Alabama, this is like war of the worlds. They already believe there's, the sky is scary. There's a man up there and when you die, he might send you to an infinite fiery pit. Yeah. The sky is scary. Oh, it's scary.

It has a giant all knowing beings in it. Yeah. And then there's a hell where you live for eternity in damnation. Just yeah. Taken as fact. Yes. And, and basically this is happening because they're just looking harder, you know, and Biden should address the findings of black lights that were shown on the bedspreads at Motel 6.

Why was this kept secret? It's ridiculous. Listen, he's the only one that came out of the meeting and, of course, politicized it. Like, first of all, if Tommy Tuberville can't get on with his life, then don't share any more information. Keep him right where he is. Keep him in the dark. That guy ruins lives with his life. Yeah. Tommy's, uh, it doesn't take much for Tommy to go down the wormhole on a, uh, conspiracy theory. Get out there and tell people we're in good shape. Oh, like he would take that. The first thing he says is, we're not in

good shape. We need a new president. Yeah. He was the former Auburn football coach. Oh my god. Here's a funny story. A woman hoping to catch a pokey man on Sunday instead caught sight of a man's genitals when he

exposed himself to her in Pine Brook. Antonio Orono. I'm going to start. I never thought I'd want to play. Now I want to play. Antonio Orono, 25, is charged with indecent exposure and open lewdness. She told officers she went to an area to chase a Pokemon, and she said Orono approached

her car, knocked on her window, and then pulled his underwear down after she did not unlock the door. Arono told the police he had urinated in the area and believed he had been spotted by a woman in a vehicle. So he forgot to put it away. I do that. My wife gives me shit all the time. I forget to put my clothes away. I forget to put my drugs and my porn away. And sometimes you just forget to put your penis away.

It happens. Yes. It happens. I might go look for a Pokemon, I don't know, at a strip club. Sure, sure. And then I have an out. I have an easy out. I mean, it sounds like she did spot a Pokemon.

Aren't they like these puffy, flesh-colored looking creatures that spit? Yes. Yes. My understanding is that's exactly what they are. Maybe she got her apps confused. She thought she was on Pokemon Go, but she was on Grindr. And what do you do?

How do you touch them? Literally, I'm not even... Forget the double entendre thing. When you see a Pokemon in an alley, right? Let's say you're doing one of these hunts. What do you do? Do you put your phone near it? And then it like it, you get credit for getting it. I don't even know how it works.

I'm not sure. I think you just see it and then you go back to your mother's basement. That's when I knew my sitcom was in. Well, that's how I knew my sitcom was really in trouble. The writer's room, I'd say three or four of the young writers in there couldn't wait till we took a break to go look for Pokemon in Studio City. No kidding. I'm not. I wish I were kidding. Wow. Yeah.

That's grass for being fired. It's ridiculous. And then, of course, you can't make fun of them and shame them in front of everybody anymore because it's probably going to lead to a lawsuit. Yeah. All right. Here is a story. We will. This is not the last. We're going to hear this story, man. I think this is the new issue. So the headline read, she discovered a naked video of herself online, but it wasn't her. This is the trauma of deepfake porn. QT Cinderella is a fan favorite Twitch streamer who is known for wholesome gaming and baking content. But late last month on January 30th, a fellow streamer briefly followed a browser window that featured a website that creates AI-generated explicit content of women, including female streamers.

On the site, deep fake porn of the 28-year-old could be found. And since then, she says, her name, her face, and her brand have become associated with pornography. and her brand have become associated with pornography. While many U.S. states have laws against, quote, revenge porn and non-consensual nude images, only three states specifically include deep fakes, and that's California, Virginia, and Texas. So just to explain what's going on here, the technology has become so good, you can take anybody's face, you can take an animal's face at this point, any face and cover another face. And through rendering, it'll make it seem like it's that new face on the body. It's amazing.

on the body. It's amazing. I mean, a couple of geeks in a basement can now do in an afternoon what it took a pimp weeks and mountains of meth to accomplish in the past. You know, and the implications are crazy. I mean, this is just in porn, but it's like you could also have Trump or Biden

say whatever you wanted them to say. I mean, the deep face. This could start wars. This could start wars. If you get, you know, Putin saying something or, you know, the head of Israel, who's the prime minister of Israel right now? Netanyahu. If you get Netanyahu saying something. Yeah.

Chris is talking about Tommy Tuberville. You get him to say something smart, maybe. Right. But no, like, for instance, you know, in many wars, you know, there's everyone's trying to steal and, you know, coded messages. And sometimes they were intentionally fake, you know, and those those were all like, you know, coded and and and even telegrams, whatever it was. Well, now, you know, it'll be video and it'll be you'll see the person saying it. Yeah. But anyway, back to the porn element of it. No, and I'm sure all these guys are putting like ex-girlfriends and all of that stuff. And but the sickest thing is then they're putting it out there. all these guys are putting like ex-girlfriends and all of that stuff. And,

but the sickest thing is then they're putting it out there. And America is fucking dumb. There are so many people that take it at face value. There's all these C-SPAN clips of like AOC walking up to somebody and saying something that she's clearly not really saying, but you would be hard pressed to tell that that's that's that it's not fake. Oh, if you don't think AOC's head is on porn, you are crazy. Oh, really? Hold on a second.

I'm so into her. She's so hot. Sure. There's tons of it. Yeah. Be you graduate. What's that? yeah yeah that's right yeah um so anyway get ready for a lot more of this deep fake porn stuff already there's sites and they they say up front i think they're they're very open about deep fake but then it'll be the hottest actresses out there on porn bodies. Yeah. All right. Speaking of porn, good news for Gubbins.

All right. So we're sending out good wishes to our friend Dennis Gubbins, who is getting knee surgery this Thursday. He had it. He had it Thursday. Yeah. He will have had it by the time you hear this on Thursday. So if you want to wish him well, he's at DGUBS, D-G-U-B-S, on Twitter. Send him some love. Yep.

He was a fucking pain in the ass. He's a really great athlete, and the knees did not hold up. He was a fucking pain in the ass on Super Bowl Sunday. Jesus Christ. We played golf in the morning. Me, you, and Rabih, and who else was with us? Oh, Chris Chaney. And he was just, was it Chris Chaney?

Who was there? No, Brian. Brian. Didn't Brian play with us? Who's Brian? Rabih's friend from Arizona. No, it was me, you, Dennis, Rabee, Owen Gubbins. Oh, no, no.

Malloy was a no-show. Oh, right, right, right. But I paid for him. He was just so, and I know he's got his surgery coming up, and he's stressed out, it was just he was being so aggressive it was driving everybody crazy and he would even catch us rolling our eyes and be like what what what did you just say it was like what did we say what wouldn't we say after how you're behaving you're berating everybody constantly was it, Mike? This is the best part.

He is now in pain, on pain meds, with his leg up, listening to you say this. He hates being inactive. Yeah. He's just like me, and I think you. He's not going to be a good patient no and he and he's now listening to this yeah but it was it was it just me or was he being particularly difficult on sunday good question it was just you oh bullshit you're just trying to make him feel better no he he was no No, he lost his temper a few times for sure.

He stormed off the course. Yeah. Not off the course. When did that happen? No, after the round, he stormed off. And then he came back. Okay. That's the funny thing about Gubbins.

He storms off. Like, he stormed out of Malloy's. We were watching the NCAA basketball finals. And he kept storming out and then he'd come back and you didn't realize he was back again until he started complaining about something. No, he, all of a sudden he's like, there's the ref again. Like, holy shit. Like he was in the room by the front door. We didn't hear him reenter. All right. Let's get to some entertainment. You got it, pal.

The King's Singers announced on Monday night that Pensacola Christian College had canceled the ensemble schedule. I like that word, ensemble. I like that word, ensemble. A scheduled performance on Saturday, February 11th at short notice. In a statement posted to social media, the leading vocal group said they were deeply saddened by the cancellation. The school's justification for the cancellation, the singers added, was to do with concerns about, quote, the lifestyle of the group's members. about, quote, the lifestyle of the group's members. It has become clear to us, the singers added, after several members of the public and students at the college contacted them regarding the cancellation,

that these concerns related to the sexuality of members of our group. Uh-oh. Sounds like some king-on-king action. Yeah. So the church is now vetting other all-male Christian choirs for homosexual members. They're hoping they can

have another concert in about 11 years. I bet these priests would like to put some deep fakes, put some of these choir members' faces on some heterosexual porn. Yeah, right. As God wants.

Yeah, the priest that made this decision to fire them, he will instead spend the night teaching an 11-year-old how to masturbate. Oh, Jesus. You know, the usual. You guys should swing by there. You, Bert, the bus. Take the bus to Pensacola. Get these fine gay gentlemen, allegedly gay gentlemen, on the bus to sing.

Speaking of Florida. Oh, wait. Hold on. Oh, geez. Okay. Well, wait. Before we go to Florida. I mean, we're in Florida, but I'm just going to backtrack. So this documentary, and I know I'm a little late to it, but everything that breathes, it's on HBO Max. It's in the first frame. What you see even in the first few frames is it's remarkable how beautifully shot, incredibly ugly settings.

these ugly settings, they find art in it. It's incredible. It's in India and it's in really impoverished areas, but also incredibly polluted. Anyway, I won't tell you what it's about. So take the Jersey Shore. It's way, way worse than the Jersey Shore. It's as if, I'm going to try to be accurate. It's as if garbage hasn't been picked up in the Jersey. It's as if it's I'm going to try to be accurate. It's as if garbage hasn't been picked up in the Jersey shore in about a month or more. And there's livestock everywhere in the streets, including giant cattle and all their excrement. And also, seemingly, everything's wet all the time. With puddles. Oh, my God. Disgusting puddles everywhere.

So just putrid standing water everywhere. Oh, when I see it, I'm like, how are they not dying constantly by infection? Yeah. But anyway, this movie, though, is fantastic. It's nominated for an Oscar. And then I started Navalny. And I'm very late to that.

And I just started it. I'm about 30 minutes in. I felt myself, no fault of its own. I had already watched a documentary. And I started to get tired. I'm like,

this deserves my full attention because it's so good. Okay. I'll look out for it. Yeah. I don't have a lot of interest in going to India. Never have. Either do I. I mean, people people that go, though, say it's life changing, but I don't need my life changed that bad. Yeah. Do they mean for the better? Yeah. Do they mean for the better? I think it gives you a perspective on the human condition. And I think that there's a spirituality to it that people find very moving.

Well, these guys that are in it, I mean, if they're, you know, you know, occasionally documentary will win at the Academy Awards. And it happened with like Exit to the Gift Shop. And then that character who is not an actor is on stage. And it's a really cool thing. Yeah. If, if the people, I'm going to keep it vague. If the people in this got up there,

that would be the, I can already tell you would be the highlight of the Oscars for me. Yeah. All right. Well, speaking of Florida. Yes. well speaking of florida yes uh here you go cape coral man cracks a beer open during traffic stop yes just before midnight on february 8th lee county sheriff's approach to black mercedes Mercedes Benz parked in the opposite lane.

The vehicle was just sitting there, lights on. As they approached the vehicle, they found 40-year-old Michael Serrata sitting alone in the passenger seat. Beer cans littered the vehicle's floor and lined the front cup holders. 24 packs of Michelob Ultra and Bud Light were torn into. Deputies attempted to begin a line of dialogue but according to the arrest report Serato was quote unable to speak due to his level of intoxication. As the sheriffs called for support they heard him crack a beer open. When they tried to take the beer from him, he woke up. He began to fight back. At one

point, deputies used their taser, but it had, quote, zero effect when striking Serrata's back. Deputies resorted to physical restraint until their support came, and now Serrata faces charges of DUI and resisting arrest.

You know, why? Why pull out the taser? If you want to make him compliant, let him finish the beer. One more beer. He would have been gone and they could have just carried him into the squad car. Yeah, he's in the passenger seat. He knows the deal. Yes. But maybe he doesn't know he's in the passenger seat. You know, my wife was on a jury and there was a case where a woman was found in her passenger seat, drunk and in a parking lot with the car off. And she got arrested for DUI because they say that she had come from a strip club and somebody witnessed her driving. But when they got to her, she so but she got convicted of it.

Yeah. You know, I remember hearing I've never I've actually never even been pulled over for DUI. But it's like I heard something about the key. And this is probably wrong, but the keys can't be in the ignition or something like that. Okay. So I wonder if people can write in, and I'm aware it's probably different from state to state, or there's probably five variations on this at least. But I'm also wondering, you see all these things that tell you do not do a field sobriety test under any circumstance. Yeah. And, but here's the tricky part. When they ask if you've been drinking, all lawyers advice is to not answer that question.

And don't say, you know, I had a glass of wine at dinner because now you've given them probable cause you're supposed to say, well, why officer is am i free to go i guess you're supposed to keep asking am i free to go and be very very nice because it's being recorded but what do you say let's say you did have a wine at dinner wait can we just say a preamble also don't drink and drive all right go ahead well i mean i kind of was just saying if you have a wine at dinner or whatever, let's say it's just that. What are you what are you supposed to say if you're not supposed to say that? Right. I just don't get I mean, I don't drink alcohol. So I don't understand that if you're going to go out and you're going to drive, just don't drink at all.

Just say I can't drink tonight. I'm driving. Maybe I'll steal your line, which is because you smell of beer when you drink non-alcoholic beer. That's right. I once got pulled over at a, you know, they had a, what do you call it when they stop everybody on the street and check if you're drunk? Yeah, yeah, yeah. DUI checkpoint. Yeah. So I get to a DUI checkpoint and the officer told me to roll down my window and he put his flashlight on my beer. It was a non-alcoholic beer. And he's like, what's that?

I was like, non-alcoholic. And he kind of got stuck like like he was gonna say something like you can't have that and then he just kind of got flustered and i drove away here's the logic because at first blush you might say like well that's a great place for someone to put their beer but why wouldn't you put it in a pepsi can right right why why flirt with the idea that it's a beer? Yeah. Yeah, I should have gotten a DUI a couple times, but I skirted it. Back in the 80s, they didn't fucking bring you in. They used to send me home.

They said just drive straight home. Sports. Let's do some sports jj said holy shit man you were one random call away from maybe getting the game to overtime you predicted that the game would go to overtime. I truly believe if the refs let them play the way they let them play all game, they wouldn't have called that penalty that allowed Kansas City to run out the clock before the field goal.

It was a really bad call, that holding call. Did you see it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't even close. I loved it. Yeah, so that was, I mean, I can imagine Philly, look, the losing team is always going to look for calls

that affected the game, but that one truly affected the game. I'll give them that. Right. I couldn't believe how it was approaching over time. Like, it was almost certain at one point. Yeah. And, oh, God, and you called it.

Worse than the money is you would just be, you called it. You'd be right. I don't like that. No, no. All right, let's get to science and technology. We're ripping through it this week because it's Wednesday. Yeah, it's Wednesday. We're not ready for this. Potentially hazardous. Huh? Science, tech and health. Well, we're going to limit it to science, although it looks like tech, too. No, it's science. A, quote, potentially hazardous asteroid twice the size of the World Trade Center will shoot past Earth tonight.

So the reason I grabbed this is we're back to comparing things to the World Trade Center. Yeah, right. This is just going to make Al Qaeda take a shot at it. So heads up at Logan Airport this week. Yeah, I don't know. I think we should retire that one. Yeah. Huh? I So heads up at Logan Airport. Yeah, I don't know. I think we should retire that one. Yeah. Huh? I said heads up at Logan Airport. And there are bigger buildings in Manhattan.

Actually, I shouldn't say that. Are there? I think there are now. Like in Midtown. Yeah, I think there's one building in Midtown that's now bigger. Anyway. And it's a they fucked up

the building it's like creaking it was poorly made yeah yeah it's this really thin tall building and uh people don't want to live in it they paid millions of dollars for apartments and uh it makes all this noise i don't know how buildings don't creak. I mean, they all, I mean, I forget what it was. Was it like 18 inches? But there's expected swaying that happens with all these buildings. I don't know how swaying doesn't wreak havoc on, you know, and create the glass, the framing, all of it from creaking. I have no idea how that works. Well, there's a building in San Francisco that's leaning, and it's leaning more every year, and it's fucking huge.

Don't worry. The earthquake will set it back straight up into the air. But listen to this asteroid at its closest approach, and they have a long number identifying what this asteroid is. It will be about 2.8 million miles from Earth, or 12 times the average distance between Earth and the moon. And it does not pose a threat to our planet. Scientists aren't sure exactly how big the asteroid is. So anyway, they go on. But it's basically it's it's bigger than

the world than what is it, the World Trade Center. Thirty one hundred feet. Thirty one hundred feet across. It'll be about twice as wide as New York City's one World Trade Center is tall. But they they talked about it's identified. The reason everyone made the news is it's a close to earth. There's like a CE. I thought I put it in here. I guess I cut it out, but there's a determination. So this is determined as being close to earth at 2.8 million miles.

Yeah. Right. And they know exactly to the second when it's going to pass. And it's like, how the fuck do they know this? Like, I can't remember what day the garbage truck goes past my house so I could put out my garbage cans. I can't figure out when the sixth train is arriving at Union Square.

We didn't even see a Chinese balloon right above our heads. Right. What's, yeah. All right. We're not great with science. No. This day in history. 1942. My mom was born in 1942.

What year was your mom born? 44. Oh, what a young spring chicken. By the way, I forget what it was. I was, I was, whatever, signing up to some website or whatever. Anyway, there's security questions, right? And how are you with those security questions? They're like your favorite color.

I'm like, gee, do you have a favorite color? Maroon. But that's not a choice. No, mine is green. Look at the wall behind all right and and you don't think there's ever a time where you'd be like oh wow did i say blue yeah now i would always say green oh favorites there's so many that i don't know the answer to or that uh maybe i said this like the color of your first house what color of your first house. What color was your first house? They ask you that all the time. Yep. So this was another one. What is your your mother, your mother-in-law's maiden name?

Like what? Ryan. You know that Ryan. Yeah. Is that her name now? Now she has her married name, even though she's divorced. Now? Now. She has her married name, even though she's divorced. All right. Yeah. So you got that.

And what's your mother's maiden name? Oh, I know that. I mean, that's a hugely popular one. But they asked a ton. I'm like, Jesus, I really got to get to know my family better. What was your grandmother and grandfather's first names? I do know that. It was Michael and Elizabeth. Oh, you were named after your grandfather.

And your wife was named and your ex-wife was named after your grandmother. Yeah, that's an easy way to remember it. Wow. Yeah. Did they also divorce? Huh? Did they also divorce? No, but they also had a bad marriage. Yeah. Yeah. Bad in what way? They just weren't quitters. You know, just I don't I don't think there was a lot of love. There was, you know, hitting the kids in the house going on. And, you know, they were both immigrants.

One was from a farm in Nova Scotia. The other was kicked out of Ireland, basically. How many kids did they have? Three. John, Michael. And Mary. And Mary. Oh, that's right, Mary.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, there you go. Anyway, let's get to Asians. So here's what happened on February 19th in 1942. F. FDR ordered Japanese Americans into internment camps. The document ordered the forced removal of resident, quote, enemy aliens from parts of the West vaguely identified as military areas. After the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941, Roosevelt came under increasing pressure by military and political advisers to address the nation's fears of further Japanese attack or sabotage, particularly on the West Coast, where naval ports, commercial shipping, and agriculture were most vulnerable. Included in the off-limits military areas referred to in the order were ill-defined areas around West Coast cities, ports, and industrial and agricultural regions.

I remember being at a donut shop by the Fox Lot. You know the Fox Lot was a japanese internment camp no in la yep the entire fox lot was converted to a japanese internment camp during the war and this guy this guy that ran the donut shop right near the fox lot i went in there for a cup of coffee before a meeting and he goes i used to live on that lot when it was an internment camp. He was an old man. Japanese? No, it's weird.

He was Italian. He just liked making fun of them? Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, they were rounded up, irregardless of their citizen status, length of residence, and they could take only as much as they could carry. They were put in crude, cramped quarters. In Western states, they were put in like thousands of families lived and were interrupted and in some cases destroyed by an executive order. Many lost businesses, farms, and loved ones as a result.

Oh, it's terrible. Is that terrible? Yeah. Yeah. It really is. It's a bad chapter in our history. Yeah. Among many others, but that's a bad one.

And recent. Yep. Letters to the editor all right here's a positive let's get to positive story man manolo matos not ricky martin's cousin i'm from puerto rico and roberto clemente is a national hero to us he was a beast at baseball but his humanitarian actions all across Latin America is what I am most proud of him for. Was this an essay in sixth grade? Having said that, let DeSantis ban his book in Florida.

The backlash from this action will have such a reaction from the almost 1.2 million Puerto Ricans living in Florida that it might turn out to be a good thing. Sadly, he's probably not going to run for re-ans living in Florida that it might turn out to be a good thing. Sadly, he's probably not going to run for reelection in Florida because I think he's probably going after the Republican nomination to the presidency. Well, I think you're right. Well, let's state it for the record. Manolo Matos thinks Roberto Clemente's book should be banned. Yes. He wants it banned.

Wants it banned. Nice job, Manolo. Way to represent Puerto Rico. Yeah, that's great. Will he run for? Yeah, of course he's running for president. He hasn't announced yet, though, right? No, but you know it's getting uh you know close and that it's likely

because trump is turning up the heat and going after him yeah didn't he give him a new nickname which i love yeah what is it what it was meatball or something did he call him pudgy yeah something yeah something about his stature yeah Yeah. Interesting. Oh. All right. Let's get down to. I don't know. Let's go down. Let's get even sadder.

OK. Obituaries. And that's all, folks. Yeah. So I added this today. Where is it? Is it below Help Wanted? There it is.

Raquel Welch, actress and 60s sex symbol, is dead at 82. I can read a little here, but we can just talk about her. Mrs. Welch's Hollywood success began as much with a poster as with the film it publicized, starring in One Million Years B.C., which was a film that came out in 66. starring in One Million Years B.C., which was a film that came out in 66. She was a cavewoman, and she posed in a rocky prehistoric landscape wearing a tattered, doe-skinned bikini and grabbed the spotlight by the throat with her defiant, alert-to-everything, take-no-prisoners stance and her dancer's body. She was 26 then. It had been three years since Marilyn Monroe's death death and the industry and the country needed a goddess.

And she was a goddess. Oh, my God. In 1998, Playboy named the hundred sexiest female stars of the 20th century. Miss Welch came in third behind Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield. Bridget Bardot was fourth. Anyway, Raquel Welch, to any of the young listeners, she burst on the scene. But in the 70s, she was just the icon of beauty. I mean, it was that 70ss i think now a lot of what people's the like sort of ideal milf if you will i think a lot i think she informed a lot of what people have in mind when they say that term she was just uh well like she said that she was a dancer and you know i looked at a i looked at some videos of her before the show because i never

nude never nude i looked uh i looked on the um a porn site to see if there was any nude videos of her and there are there's some side boob and uh but no but she always had her clothes on. She gets raped in one scene, but you don't see any nudity. But she was just stunning. She was so goddamn gorgeous. And she was dark skin. I think she was like I think her dad was. No, she's Latina or something. Yeah.

Yeah. Bolivia. Yeah. Skin Bolivia. And they said she was advised because now it's like such a flex. You know, if you can say like she is, she would late in her late life in the last 20 years, she was very proud and kind of reclaimed that heritage publicly. But her first husband's last name was Welch. And every one of her agents and managers told her to keep that name and not to use Tejada, which is the name she was born with in Chicago in 1940. So she turned 30

in 1970 and she was so sultry and amazing in the seventies. Yeah. And her, her cleavage, Yeah. And her her cleavage. I mean, I remember being a young boy and she was in the three musketeers. She actually won a Golden Globe, I believe, for being in the three musketeers. Well, she could not have been sexier. It blew my mind. How I mean, all right, let's assume that you would have wanted to have sex. You're 30 years old. You want to have sex with Raquel Welsh. At what age would she be too old for you to have sex with her? Probably next week.

She's still keeping it together. I think there's some people you can talk to. Yeah. Now's my shot. Yeah. All right. Let's cheer up after that horrible news and go to the Sunday funnies. Yeah.

So Leroy and Loretta are standing there. He's in front of the laptop. Yeah. So Leroy and Loretta are standing there. He's in front of the laptop. He's got those drunk bubbles near his face. So he's clearly intoxicated. And he goes, I had a little wine when I did our tax refunds. We should be getting $2 million refund. Wait. Hold on. Where are we?

The Lockhorns. Oh, Jesus. I'm literally looking at Hager. Oh, I forgot Haggard. I skipped right past him. And I thought those drunk things, I'm like, I think those are fight symbols, but they look like they could be drunk also. So I'm like, what?

And then it's like, that's a lot of money for a Viking. Yeah. who's doing his taxes all right so hager the horrible hager is sword fighting with another gentleman and uh and the and then lucky his friend is standing to the side and he goes you've been fighting for 20 minutes what's taking so long? And then the guy he's fighting goes, and then guess what he told his wife? And Hager goes, go on, go on. And then Lucky says, oh, it's Gareth the Gossip. Guess what he told his wife?

He told her he didn't rape that girl. Go on, go on. Go on, go on. Guess go on go on guess what he told his wife that the scratch marks on his face were from some branches when he was riding his horse hot gossip

out of that guy alright now we're back to the lock horns let's get to the far side oh this again All right. Now we're back to the Lockhorns. Let's get to the far side. Oh, this again. Well, Justin, I think sent some new ones this week, but this was from the first batch. And I like this one. So let me see. How would I do this one? So this guy, it's old school. It's like the Renaissance type thing even before. No, but before this old, although it should look like he's in a castle.

Anyway, this guy's painting and another person comes in the room and goes, so, Andre, the king wants to know how you're coming with, quote, St. George and the dragon. George and the dragon. And you see the artist, his eyes are like, Oh, and you see the painting and it's St. George. And he has his foot in a wagon, like a little kid's wagon.

So stupid. It's so stupid, but I like it. Zoinks. So now we got. Blondie. Yes, we do. She's got on a pink top with kind of a brooch and a black skirt.

And she say he's he's putting his jacket on to go out the door. Have you figured out what you're going to say to your boss? He goes, not exactly. After I say good morning, boss, I'll just wing it. And then he goes, today's the day I'm going to demand a raise and I won't take no for an answer. And she says, remember, dear, you have a backbone of solid steel. Where'd she come up with that one? He goes, yes, I do have a backbone of steel, don't I? And she goes, you certainly do, sweetheart. And then he kisses her and says, I'll the boss that i can find another job office manager job any day of the week and she goes of course you can honey and then he walks out the

door full speed ahead door closes he stops looks like a fucking idiot then turns around and goes listen remind me one more time about the backbone of steel thing and that's the point where blondie needs to go you know what honey i can't prop up this marriage or you any longer this is a fucking joke i'm done this what this should have been is he gets five feet outside the door looks at us then turns around and goes hey honey she's already doing the pool boy yes like he wasn't supposed to come back she has her wednesday routine and she's got her feet in the air and she's finally living her best life and she's saying to the pool boy you got a bone of steel you got a cock of steel that's what you're telling him and he believes it he doesn't need to

be reminded again and again he knows he's got a cock of steel. I do right now. Just looking at her. And then it's a funny comic because he could be like, oh, never mind. Never mind. I'll figure out my backbone of steel, honey. Never mind. And then it works. Because he's a cock. If we could add in the element that she's

cheating on him, I could start to buy this comic strip. Right. And he deserves it. So it would feel just. Yes. I could start to buy this comic strip. Right. And he deserves it. So it would feel just. Yes. I like that, too. All right.

Here's what else feels just. We've finished just another Sunday Papers. We thank you guys for your patience, even though the news is going to be a little stale by Sunday. But unfortunately, I had to be pulled out of town. You know what won't feel that stale is the humor, because there wasn't that much of it. At least I'm speaking for myself. Well, you know.

I got to get it going. Feel free to, you know, read the script and write some jokes. That might help. Yes, that is true. As we're hitting record, he's going, i didn't see that story is that in there what story was that i'm trying to remember anyway uh but um thank you for listening everybody thanks for showing up everyone yeah and uh there's no super bowl this sunday no it's gonna be i feel like for you it is very difficult. I feel like this is like

post breakup feeling when the, when football season ends, I, I miss it. I feel sad. I feel betrayed. And, uh, I guess I can watch some hockey, but that just feels like meaningless makeup sex, not makeup sex, breakup sex. Well, the spring training has started, but whatever. Baseball has some new rules this year. I guess we'll get into those at some point. Oh, yeah? All right. Is that stat still around? Remember that stat that used to be it's the spousal abuse,

the worst day for it, with the most, like, spousal abuse, the worst day for it, with the most spousal abuse, like spikes on Super Bowl Sunday or something like that. Is that right? Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah. That was a very popular statistic that would be told. But I don't know if it's based in reality, and I don't know what the deal is with it. I wonder if they could track it by city and see if there was more spousal abuse in Philadelphia than there was in Kansas City. I'm going to guess that most weeks that's true.

And then this year, it's especially true. Yeah. Well, I can't abide by that because I love Philadelphia. And I can't wait to see everybody there March 9th through 11th at Helium Comedy Club. All right, let's do it. Thanks to the Midcoast Media, Chris and Key and Beth and John and everybody that makes the show possible. We appreciate it. We appreciate you guys sending your artwork and your music. And I guess we'll catch you next week. Yeah.

I mean, everyone should take it. Take it. There it is. Three, two, one. Let's go. Read all about it. Read all about it. I got this. Read all about it. one let's go I am now Take it easy. Take it easy.