Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 18 7/5/20

Episode Date: July 5, 2020

Things we make fun of on this week’s Sunday Papers: Greg’s voice, Vanilla Ice’s career & Dagwood. Things we praise: Fraternity Covid.  

It's Sunday, Sunday papers On Monday, it's a day later Craig and Mike will read your news You've probably never heard It's Sunday, gotta make it through the news You gotta see those blonde and blues That Dagwood is a piece of shit Greg and Mike discuss the news As long as sponsors pay the dues Listen to some pit stock interviews

It's Sunday. Read all about it. It's the Sunday papers. This is the time where you get to sit back and stop thinking. Let us do the thinking for you. You don't need to figure out the news. Get your news with loose facts and inaccurate historical perspective. Yeah, we got some blowback from last week.

There was a few. The only one I can remember is we got a few people saying Randy Moss, who I asked if he was going to be on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this year, apparently retired about nine years ago. That's why I couldn't answer. I i was like that name sounds familiar to me which means it's old because i kind of stopped following sports closely yeah yeah so uh but there was a few others i can't remember what they were but people get very angry well he would fit on the team if he's that old, maybe. Yeah, exactly. And he did play for the Patriots at one point.

He did play with Tom Brady. Oh, see, I shouldn't know that. I just hated them so much. Every Super Bowl, I would just wait to root against them. Yeah, a lot of people did. They were so hated. What? Oh, yeah.

What do you think? Happy birthday, America. Yeah, happy birthday. This is a really powerful Fourth of July because, you know, Fourth of July is about the revolution. And there's really that vibe happening in the U.S. right now. Right. Which, of course, is lost on people who are like, don't take a knee. The flag has nothing to do with speaking your mind and protesting. Yeah. And, you know, and it's being set up. Trump spoke yesterday at Mount Rushmore.

And he very much like he he said there's a left-wing fascist takeover going on. I mean, he's really setting up this conflict as we go towards the election. He's going to burn it down. He's burning it the fuck down.

They've tried to advise him like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, bigger tent. You need a bigger tent. You're really, your message is really narrow and he's doubled down on the narrow message. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it's so funny.

Like I remember, you know, old school Republicans. So my stepmother is a Republican and my, which is crazy. Cause my dad is like, could not be more liberal, right? You know, immigrant parents, totally beyond poor in the Bronx growing up and all that. And,

and they live together. Um, but even she now is reporting that, uh, and she was raised with money in St. Louis and is very, very waspy. And but even she's kind of broken ties now. But it took like all of this, which confounded our family, which is back to my original point. He's in such violation of so many tenants of old school Republicans. I mean, just the cheating on every wife thing that used to be enough. Nevermind the fiscal recklessness and irresponsibility of Trump, who just very consistently always drove his companies into the ground, always wound up losing, never made money for his investors, only took care of himself by declaring bankruptcies. All those things would absolutely offend and abhor old school Republicans.

absolutely offend and abhor old school Republicans. Well, there's a lot there's a lot in common, obviously, you know, but but so it was always like, how are you not checked out? And it really was the hatred of the other side. That was the answer. Yeah. No, I think a lot of people that are committed to their side are really more rebelling against the other side. I think a lot of people have gone towards Trump because they don't like this very aggressive tactic by the left of saying, no, we're going to march. We're going to take down statues. We're going to. And it and it and it for some people feels like an attack and they go, well, fuck them. I'm going to the other side. They don't look necessarily what the other side is saying or representing. They just don't want a part of this side. And I get that. I totally get that. Yeah. No, I really did not like Hillary.

And but, you know, I just I just didn't like the other side enough. But I was able. Maybe that's a similar. Maybe that's kind of similar. I don't know. I mean, we've seen friends go to the right and and it's never because they were attracted to what was being said by Trump. It was more that they were enraged about their, you know, it used to be conservatives were known for censorship. You know, John Ashcroft draping a curtain around the naked statues in front of the Hall of Justice. And, you know, taking the N-word out of Huck Finn was like started out as a Republican thing. And now it's a liberal thing. We're the censors now. Well, listen, there are complete lunatic liberals that are are giving us a bad name at this point. I mean, some of it is really crazy. Yes. But everything,

by the way, and we'll we'll get to it in sports. But the Washington Redskins think. All right. Let's talk. There's extremists, extremists on both sides. All right, what do you got? Let's talk about the 4th of July a little bit. Memories. Yeah. What was your childhood? Well, earlier today I texted you. I go, you know, maybe we should talk about,

and as I was texting you, I go, you know, I'll ask because you were just such a deviant as a kid and literally in trouble with the law. And I thought you probably, and you were so sort of reckless. I bet you had some funny firework stories or July 4th stories. So as I'm texting you, I'm like, Hey, you know, I might ask you if you have any crazy July 4th stories. And as I'm doing it, I'm like, I wonder if I have any firework stories. You know, obviously there was flushing M80s down the toilet, which would explode

pipes, throwing them explode pipes. Yes. Throwing them in lakes, right, which would kill fish. Yeah. All these things that you're just a complete moron as a 14-year-old male. Oh, mailboxes. And as I'm typing- We used to destroy mailboxes. Yes.

And then, of course, you got to holding. Did you ever hold firecrackers when they went off? No. And then you would hold two. Yeah. And you would do it till the pain was so extraordinary. Oh, yeah, yeah. It blows your fingers.

It literally blows them apart. It doesn't tear them up, but you're pinching it and the pinch gets blown wide and it feels crazy. And so then you do with your eyes closed. Yeah. So we would do throwing them at each other. Oh, yeah. A lot.

But then I forgot as I was texting in West Hampton, my dad had a condo out there and I grew up with all these kids and some of them were like locals. It wasn't a big deal. The Hamptons weren't the Hamptons in the 70s like they are now. Anyway, we decided to have a bottle rocket war and we went across the street where there were like, you know, there was like one or two homes and then these basically Sandy, not Sandy dunes with some of that, whatever that growth is, but like that, that beach grass, we have a bottle rocket war.

One shoots near my friend Doug and he's like, dude, there's a fire. And we're like, what? And so we go over and it lit some of the grass on fire near him. So we stomp it out and it's still smoldering and smoking. And then we're like, fuck, what should we do? And then our friend Rob, Rob was an older guy in the condos, like three years, like four years older than us. So he seemed very old and cool. And Rob had a boat.

And so he was driving down the street because his boat was behind this across the street. So we're like, yeah, that's a good idea. Let's get in Rob's boat and go to town. So so we put it out like as best we could. So we get in his boat. We drive around the bay a little and then we drive to town. When you drive to town, you go under. So this is on Dune Road. Dune Road has all these it's basically, you know, this, whatever, a outer bank, like kind of island with all bridges going to it. So we go under a bridge and two fire trucks go over the bridge and we're like, huh, all right. And then we're like, well, let's see if they make a right. And we like, look, and sure enough, they make a right heading towards us. We're like, that's weird.

But you know, it's, it is July 4th and I'm sure. And also so many old people are there. Maybe someone had a heart attack. We get to the next bridge, which is near town. Three more trucks fly over the bridge.

And we're like, wow. Huh? What do you, what do you mean? Well, we go to town to move this fucking story along a little bit. We, we, Rob then drives us back. We go back.

There is police tape and fire trucks all in the dunes and yard where we were. And we then see a big burn area. Oh, I forgot to mention this. When the second wave of trucks went over, we turned around and we did see smoke back from where we were, but we still were like, I don't know. There's a lot of fireworks. Maybe it's not us. So I then were like, holy shit. So we're like, fucking throw everything out. Just get off the boat. You know, this is our 13 year old version of being smart and cool. And we're like, just fucking no eye contact with any of them. Like,

don't even look at the burn mark, which is the last thing you would do if you're acting naturally you would be like what the fuck happened there and we're like just no i just walked back just fucking and then you go to your condo i'm going to my kind of like fucking we didn't even see each other today i walk into my account my dad's there he's like mike hey how are you doing your fingers are black from holding firecrackers all night completely so um my dad's in the condo and there's a hallway in my condo before you get to the living room area so i just see him and he's like mike how are you doing he's like how's your fourth and i'm like oh you know and as i came into the room fucking three giant firemen sitting there oh yes and i'm like oh you know I uh and he's like Mike sit down he's like this and he introduces

me this is like the fucking fire chief and they'd uh like they'd like to talk to you and I just sat down and the guy's like uh so son there was a fire across the street do you know anything about it I'm just like yes and they're like um would you have had a hand or any part or do you know people who uh you know might have been playing with fireworks to cause a fire? I'm like, yep, it was me, Doug and Scott. And we were having a bottle rocket fight and we thought we put the fire out and then we went to town. And the fire chief just looks at my dad. He's like, well, your boy's honest.

Your boy's a rat. Stitches get snitches.. Stitches get snitches. Snitches get snitches. Jesus. Well, did they talk? Who did I have a bottle? Who did I have a bottle rocking with alone? So.

No, they knew everything. How did they know? People saw you? Well, what happened is we were getting in a lot of trouble. We had almost lit a fire under the condo complex. That was the summer before. getting in a lot of trouble. We had almost lit a fire under the condo complex. That was the summer before. But the

owners of the house called because they were terrified it was going to spread and burn down their house. So they're the ones that called the fire trucks and everything and they were fucking rip shit. So it was a big thing calming them down and they said they saw three kids.

They knew everything, obviously. Wow. Did you get charged with anything? No, no charge. But it was a summer packed with community service, including the three of us helping them replant their whole dune. Yeah, right.

Oh, you burned their whole beautiful dune down. Well, their dune grass. Let's not overstate beautiful dune down well they're dune grass let's not overstate it but it was all on fire we had uh we had this abandoned house that was near where i lived there was um marymount college had a uh what do you call a place where nuns retire um heaven if i went to catholic school for a year i think that's what they call it you you have to think that those poor women will affair after everything they've gone through after teaching kids that they fucking hated and not having sex please let there be a heaven for those women oh i know um so uh all right so uh a monastery convent a monastery convent okay so

there's a convent and they had a bunch of houses and i guess there was a shortage of nuns so one of the houses was completely abandoned and we used to go there and we used to drink and it was two stories and it was really fucking nice but we broke a window in the cellar and we used to go in so fourth of july we go in and i mean we're loaded to the teethar and we used to go in so fourth of july we go in and i mean we're loaded to the teeth we got we used to go down to chinatown and just fill up our trunk full of fireworks oh yeah you can get them anywhere yeah and so we uh we we came up and we picked two teams and we went shirts and skins and it was first team to give up. And he literally, like one team started on the second floor, one was on the first floor,

and we just started throwing bottle rockets up and down the stairs, throwing fucking bricks, you know, a brick of firecrackers. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh, no, that's where you learned all these terms, like a gross. Yeah, gross. Isn't a gross like 128? And a brick, of course. And a brick.

So you'd throw a brick of firecrackers and everybody would be fucking diving behind couches. And then somebody threw an M-80 down the stairs. And it was so strong. Escalation. It busted the windows in the hallway. It was so fucking loud. And I really think to this day, my left ear, I still think I don't have all of my hearing from that fireworks war. And after they threw the M-80, we gave in.

They won. Well, that's what they are. They're weapons of war. They're a celebration. Well, an M-80, it's an eighth of a stick of dynamite. That's why they call it an M-80. But even the bottle rocket, it's like kids have the natural instinct, which is, oh, these are weapons that people use in battles.

Like that's what they're mimicking and that's exactly what we use them as. I don't think I ever had as good of a time as we used to have with the fireworks wars because it really does, it brings out this innate fucking soldier play. Well, the stakes are really high. I mean, obviously.

Yeah. The only thing I thought of similar, Jeff Brown, remember my roommate in college, he told a great story. He had these, in New Jersey, he had this pair of crazy,

crazy cousins. And his dad had to watch them for his like brother or whatever. And so he watched them. He didn't know what to do with these animals because they really were like just wild boys, but they were pretty young. And he goes, you just put them in the garage. So he put them. He didn't know what to do with these animals because they really were like just wild boys.

But they were they were pretty young. And he goes, you just put them in the garage. So he put in the garage for a while. And then he's like, it's a little too quiet. And he went and checked on them. And when he went in, both of them were bleeding and had darts in them. And he's like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you guys doing?

He's like, well, we saw your darts. Like they had like 10 darts and one of those. And so we have a dart war. He's like, but what the fuck? What the fuck are you guys doing? He's like, well, we saw your darts. Like they had like 10 darts in one of those. And so we have a dart war. He's like, but what the fuck they're in? He's like, well, we didn't know how to keep score after a while. So the new rule was you couldn't take it out. And we and the goal was they were going to play until there were no more darts and to see who had more in them. He had to rush them to the hospital to get tetanus shots.

To see who had more in them. He had to rush them to the hospital to get tetanus shots. But we were all looking for those steaks. And something exploding. Yeah. These huge steaks. Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

Yeah. I got in a fight with my brother. And he ran out of my room. And I threw a dart. And it hit him in the Achilles tendon. And I downed him like a gazelle. He just went down. That's perfect.

All right. Should we do some news? What? Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! Oh, you have a paper, too.

Look, it's in stereo. Double it down, baby. All right. What do you got? Top story., too. Look, it's in stereo. Double it down, baby. All right. What do you got? Top story. Top story. What is it? There's so many. Well, they announced, well, Trump's niece.

That's a good story. His niece, what's her name there? Yeah, I forget. Mary Trump. Right. So she wrote this tell-all memoir, and they've been fighting in court about whether or not her nondisclosure agreement is valid, because her lawyers are arguing that they misrepresented how much the family had, and so she settled for a smaller amount based on lies, and so they're contesting it.

based on lies. And so they're contesting it. And one of the things that's going to come out in the book is that in this nasty court fight, Donald Trump and his brother and sister, at one point, because it was all about Fred Sr., his money, and Fred Sr. had cut off, I guess, Mary? Had cut her off?

Okay. And so she had a kid who was Fred Trump III. I guess he's the one that got cut off. His infant child was born with severe health issues that required expensive, intense care, and they cut off the medical benefits for the baby. Whoa. Yeah, over the court medical benefits for the baby. Whoa. Yeah. Over the court battle, over the will. Was her dad the alcoholic who Trump refers to as brother?

Yes. Right. Right. Okay. Wow. So I still don't know what's coming out of that book, but I think it's going to be she's very anti her uncle. she's very anti her uncle. When you are actively supportive of the Klan and then you don't support your sick granddaughter,

that's a special kind of person. Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking about- And also, he supported Nazis as well, right? Or skinheads or neo-Nazis or whatever the hell the group would have been. What, Fred Senior? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I just know that there was a lot of there was a lot of Trump's father I'm referring to. Yeah. He was indicted on or convicted on preventing black people from renting in his buildings in New York.

But I think also I want to say Chicago, but I'm not positive. And I went to New York, but I think also I want to say Chicago, but I'm not positive. Yeah. Well, anyway, I think I can safely say there are ties between Trump's dad and the Klan, I think, and maybe even anti-Semitic groups. I think I can safely say that, but we'll get fact checked i'm just trying to i'm worried about my nieces and nephews now writing books about me because i know with my with my nephew rowan and he he went out for the navy seals he got like 99 of the way into the navy seals and then he got cut off in the last fucking testing of it he's from south africa he grew up in new york city and then he moved to south africa when he was like nine because his mom was from there. Toughest, play rugby. So anyway, he's been staying with us because he just got a job working security for this billionaire.

He literally trails a billionaire all day. The guy's got a 17 room house that's worth $60 million. That's where he spends his days. And so lately I've been trying to. And the nephew just procures all the 14 and 15 year old girls. That's cool. Yeah. He's a, he's a butler. He calls him a butler because he's getting butt. He's getting some butt for them. I like that. Um, no. And, uh, and so I've been molesting him lately. Like not literally, but like I keep saying to him, I feel like I I feel like I'm remiss as an uncle because I never really fondled you.

So I keep trying to grab his dick, but he's twice my size. So I can't get in there. You're like rents due. I'm here to collect. But it's like this running joke, but he doesn't find it as funny as I do. So that would make an amazing chapter in the book. Is that what you're saying? Yes.

Well, maybe it's like, by the way, maybe we're not giving that story credit. Maybe he could just look in her eyes and like, you're going to fucking write a tell-all book about me and try to hurt me. Fuck your health insurance, you little baby. a tell-all book about me and try to hurt me, fuck your health insurance, you little baby. Because the goal here is you die before you can even put words together. I can see it in your eyes, you little outlaw. Your MS is so shaky,

you can't type a fucking sentence any longer. Other big story is, let's just transition directly into Ghislaine. How do you say her name? Ghislaine Maxwell? Yeah, maybe just G-H-I-S and then Lane. Yeah, Ghislaine maybe is the L silent. Anyway, dude, last night I started watching the documentary.

You've seen it, right? Yeah. I think. First of all, it's a really well done documentary. Yeah, it's very well done. I couldn't stop. It was late. And even falling asleep, I'd be like, no, no, no, no.

Like fighting through it to watch more. Because they really know how to end each one, like to have you stick around. And I did not know the breadth of it. I did not know how organized and how many girls yeah it was a factory and it was my god it was really like a pyramid scheme where he would get one girl to come in indoctrinate her to get her friends and then she'd get paid as a broker to bring the friends in it was it was like this whole sophisticated campaign and And it was like, how many different girls do you need, you fucking sicko? He was getting like two.

Some girls alone would just say, yeah, no. Then the second massage that day, I'm like, well, Jesus. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I almost had to stop watching. It was really disturbing. And she was as evil as he was, you know.

So they got her. They got her. Now, the question is, how aggressively is the current administration going to question her or try to make a deal for information? I think the first of all, I came. I'm so sorry. I don't have the person that did this, but I don't know if you could see it. Someone put out a tweet from Hillary's account. And it's fake, obviously. But it's Hillary Clinton. You see the checkmark, and it's as if she wrote this tweet. Hillary Clinton, very shocked and saddened by the apparent suicide of my dear old friend Ghislislaine Maxwell, in federal custody tomorrow at 6 p.m. I mean, come on.

All of rich, the rich, like how many countless rich people want her dead? Oh, dude, the Royal Guard is going to be watching the jail cell. So that Prince Henry, who's Prince Harry? But she's in Boscawan or Boscawen, New Hampshire jail. There's no way. Yeah, she's not going to survive. Right.

That's like all these movies where like, oh, no, you're safe here. Like, really? I'm safe in this little podunk jail against the Terminator? Yeah. Right. Right. Do you know what's coming to kill me? And the guy, the jailer undoubtedly has his feet up. He's got his feet up on the desk right now. Yeah. It's always the guy with the feet up and he's got the keys. The keys are dangling on a hook behind a big ring on the wall. Yeah. He's got a shotgun. He's got a shotgun rack, but it's it's it's locked up behind glass.

He's never going to get there in time. He has no idea. They probably won't even go there. They're like poison the water on the way. They'll do something so high tech. Yeah. But she must be terrified. If there are if there are maybe she wants to kill herself.

She just moved right to the top of those fucking death pulls. I mean, the Jeffrey Epstein, like, the one time the camera goes out for an hour and it's like, okay, what about the guards? Oh, yeah, they were kind of like backup guards and they were asleep. It's like, wow, all that happened at the same time that Epstein committed suicide? His roommate just happened to get moved out the day before when protocol is that you never leave an inmate like that alone. And then they do the autopsy and they find that the bone that goes around the trachea was broken in three different places in a way that it would have been impossible for somebody hanging themselves. It was a violent break of the bones. But, you know, the argument against it is I could see him totally wanting to kill himself.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Especially when you see the hubris. Like each one of the documentaries opens with him in a deposition and he is, and the people deposing him, the lawyers talk about, like one of them interviewed a psychiatrist about, can you profile this guy for me? And he did. And he's like, oh, he is a classic narcissist. And he's like, he's like, so what's the best way to get under this guy's skin?

The lawyer asked the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist tells him, he's like, if you, if he, if he is no longer in, he wants to be in control, he is comfortable in control. And then if you undermine him and criticize him. And so the questions they would open up and ask him. So he couldn't even handle like unsavory questions. So then when the writing was on the wall that he was going to jail for, you know, like, questions. So then when the writing was on the wall that he was going to jail for, you know, like I'm sure he wanted to be in control and kill himself, but, but too many people wanted him dead also. Yeah. Yeah. It was amazing. And, um, I guess we'll never know. I think we might, I think people like those guards maybe can be bought to tell their story. Yeah.

Well, do you think this woman will talk? Do you think they'll give her amnesty if she talks? I don't know. So she's going to be transferred to New York City early this week, I guess. It says she faces 35 years if convicted on the charges she's facing. He says she knows too much. He said she might take matters into her own hands or that someone else may want to silence her to stop her from spilling information. She's 58.

I don't know. She's a survivor, though. She seems like the kind of person that would make a deal. Oh, by the way, I forgot to give a shout out to Tony from New York for doing this week's theme song. It's great, isn't it? That theme song was great. Yeah. We should reveal we don't hear it, so that's why we forget about it.

But that was a funny one. Yeah, it's cute. And we're looking for all different genres. We've had some people do sexy. Lisa did a very sexy one for us. Yeah, sure was. And then David has done a couple that were more classical. And Tony's was like cabaret almost. And then I know a few weeks ago we didn't play it yet, but we got a really bad one that I loved. Yeah. Some are terrible and we like those the most. We love we love. Yeah.

What else you got on the front page, Mike? Okay. The there you go. More than 100 students living in fraternity houses near the University of Washington campus have reported testing positive for COVID-19, with hundreds of results pending. At least 105 residents living in 15 frat houses have self-reported that they tested positive. So this is, of course, raising questions not only about how schools go back, if schools should go back, but also the CDC had to update their guidelines to include the spread of COVID-19 through spiked punch, roofies, rape, and of course, keg stand, anal chugging. All of that, very efficient spreaders of the disease. And we can safely rule out the library for a place that might have been spread.

Reading has no effect on it. Doing anything good, being worth fucking anything has nothing to do with it. Yes. They got to check the paddle. They got to check everybody's asshole and the paddle to see if that's how it spread. Putting, putting olives in your anus. Yeah.

Waddling across a giant kitchen and trying to drop it into a beer bottle. That also spreads it. Drinking beer through a guy's ass after a rugby game. Oh no, that was you, Mike. Yes. Did you ever do that in college?

That was the anal chug. Yeah. You Mike. Yes. Did you ever do that in college? That was the anal chug. Yeah. You guys. Yeah. I peeled off and went rugby team for a while at BU. And yeah, we did a lot. That was the anal chugging I was talking about. You guys were fucking.

It was like all we tried to do when I lived on Alston Street with Pete Scott and Dudley and Bill, we used to throw parties and our number one goal was to not have the rugby team show up to the party. And Pete was the president of the rugby team, one of my roommates. Yeah, Pete joined my second year on the team or something. He was great. So then you guys would all show up and it was like you and Jeff Brown and Jerry. And these guys would show up and get shit faced. They would harass every girl till they left. And then I remember I had this kitchen table that had been in my family for like 30 years.

Yeah. They jumped up and down on it until it collapsed. And so and then they laughed. I there were some as Trump likes to say, there were a couple of bad apples and there were generally good people. There's good and bad on both sides. No, but I would realize if whenever they sometimes I would try to I would ditch them and then get to like your party and then they would show up. And then when that happened, I knew i would have to stay because they would respect like if a rugby player was like no no no no don't steal all their stuff you know whatever it was and it wasn't really stealing it was getting rowdy yeah i mean they were they were playing rugby for a reason they still had this crazy fucking testosterone drive yeah so and i remember there was a girl they all lived in one apartment And there was a girl that one of them had sex with who was kind of loud.

And they put a microphone under the bed with a speaker in the living room. So you could hear her yelling at three times the volume. In fairness. God, is there anything I could say after that in fairness she knew and it communicated um that she was you know she was so incredibly loud it didn't need an amplification system and she knew and she's like don't your friends doesn't that like reflect well on you and your friends hear me like so she was very aware yeah that she herself was broadcasting yeah but they did then amplify the sound just so in a weird way we also wanted her to be like what the fuck like like hearing almost like a like like almost like

a musician or you know a singer like like puts their head like turn it down it's too hot it's it's too hot in my ear i can't even sing anymore because the feedback is so hot or the loop or whatever. I remember that when I was the night before graduation, I had a girl came up from Tarrytown. I had a bunch of my boys come up from Tarrytown for graduation. There was like a dozen of them. And they brought up this girl who I kind of she was like this girl who I was like really good friends with. And we, we had like, we were had like friends with benefits. And so she came up and we had sex in my room and she was loud. And I, and, and all my friends, a dozen people sleeping in the living room and the guest room and, and five roommates. And I just remember she was singing, she was singing that night. And the next day it was, you know,

I did walk out with a little swagger the next day. Yeah. I was going to say, this is like a humble brag minus the humble part. I don't know. I was waiting for the humble part. Hey, look, I peaked senior year of college. What can I say? Yeah. And it turns out I was passed out. I didn't know how loud she got when she was playing with herself. Black Lives Matter. Other story.

Uh-oh. They're now saying that 15 to 26 million people in the United States have participated in demonstrations, making it the biggest protest movement in the country's history. biggest uh protest movement in the country's history they're saying that the women's march of 2017 had about three to five million people um civil rights in the 60s we're talking hundreds of thousands not millions the study said so the women they just didn't come out they weren't marching the way uh, actually, I guess obviously a lot of women are marching with Black Lives Matter, but

this is historic. This is huge. Well, listen, in fairness, this is my new phrase, the Me Too movement numbers were hurt because a lot of those white women were busy voting for Trump. Don't forget those bitches. The college-educated white women were busy voting for Trump. Don't forget those bitches.

Yeah, the college-educated women, they were voting for Trump. Yeah. Don't forget them. Yeah. They might have gone to Me Too also, but they also had their hands full supporting Trump. Yeah. They said that it peaked on June 6th when half a million people turned out in nearly 550 places across the country. Half a million people turned out in nearly 550 places across the country.

Half a million people in one day. Also, how about across the world? By the way, for both. Me too. But don't forget that. Yeah. And the Black Lives Matter across the world was the most, I mean, that was really inspiring. That was, you just see it's a problem of the world, man.

I mean, slavery, just all of it is a worldwide. Sometimes we, in the weird way, think it's like uniquely American, even African American, African slaves. And it's like, sadly, it's the furthest thing. I mean, we, we really did next level stuff. But it's and I'm just laughing at how absurd it is and sad. But it it's a global problem. You go to Europe. I mean, Christ, France and Italy, the soccer players that go there, they throw bananas at the black soccer players and they threaten them and they have swastikas in the stands. Now it's it's bad everywhere. But what's amazing is how nonviolent it has been. I mean, obviously there's been clashes with the police.

There's been looting. But compared to the numbers and the scale of this thing, it's been extremely nonviolent. And, you know, people watch the news and that's all they're seeing is the highlights of windows getting smashed. That's fucking tiny compared to the amount of people peacefully protesting. Well, that's all Fox News. Fox News is just focusing. I mean, one way, if you step back from it, it's like looting, violence. Of course, you can then take a deep dive into, well, who are those people? Are they whatever, whatever, whatever. Those are the fucking symptoms, whether it's bad agents or even ones who are just pissed off. Stop focusing on the symptoms. When you get symptoms, are you going to stupidly die

because you never asked what the disease is? Right. Are you not interested in what's causing this? Right. It reminded me of the reaction to 9-11, which I'll talk about a lot later with No Country for Old Men, but it reminded me a lot of that reaction like, oh my God, let's focus on the fucking planes.

Who did this? How did they get in? Who did it? It's like, Hey, how about, why do they hate us? Right? No, they, they hate us because they're jealous. Really? Yeah. I think that's pretty fucking specious. That argument. Yeah. So anyway. All right. Listen, Mike, this has been a very liberal podcast. I think we may lose some listeners, but, you know, we're getting to it. We're getting to it. Should we change? Let's go to another section of the paper.

You want to do entertainment? Oh. Big story this week, Mike. We both sat down and watched it oh oh I was going to first do a little entertainment story do a little entertainment story and then we'll get to it Vanilla Ice this week cancelled an Austin concert

after an uproar because he was going to hold this concert in the mids and was going to be obviously in Texas outside Austin in this swell of new cases and everything and so he had to cancel the concert, which I thought was just pretty funny because if I wanted to be, I mean, in 2020, isn't the definition of social distancing a vanilla ice concert? If I wanted to be more than six feet away from someone,

maybe even all alone, wouldn't I go to a vanilla ice. And also, I would be wearing a mask even if the virus weren't around just so no one would recognize me enjoying Vanilla Ice. You said there was an uproar. Was it a roar? Was there an actual roar? I think Vanilla Ice might have put out this statement.

I think it was an up murmur. There is an uproar. It was an up whisper. There was no roar. So then I read Vanilla Ice. He played the same venue in 2019 and he attracted 1,800 people. But this year he had only sold 84 tickets to the event. No shit, really? That sounds like

they will be 10 feet apart. Yeah. No need, certainly for an uproar and definitely not for a concert even. You really wonder, like, I mean, some people have had comebacks that really, you know, were maligned in their day. But what happened to Milli Vanilli?

Are they going to come back? Well, you would need Vanille. Oh, that's right. He's dead. Was it suicide? I think so. I would imagine. Yeah.

I would guess. And I'm sure he did it exactly the same way someone else did it and just copied it. Do you think after Vanille Ice heard his first album, they had to put him on Suicide Watch as well? Ice Ice Baby. Well, I remember the horrors that are Saturday Night Live. His song hits.

It's gigantic. They book him on Saturday Night Live as a musical performer. And I don't know if you remember, but the news, the weekend update would be right after a musical performer. Right. Sometimes. So at that point, Dennis Miller, Dennis Miller on the same show. So Vanilla Ice just played Ice Ice Baby. Dennis Miller changes his song coming in to open the news to Queens, you know, under pressure song under pressure. And first thing he says is it comes. He's like,

man, he's like, that song still holds up. It's great. This is like fucking popping champagne in his dressing room. Having just played on Saturday night live, his same show plays the original song and fucking slams them. Damn.

That's awesome. It was great. It was back when I really liked Dennis Miller Yeah, well But anyway, there's that Okay, so what, you want Also in entertainment, I wanted to mention that Neil Young is upset with Donald Trump for playing his music

Fucking love it He was playing, was it Like a Hurricane? Three songs, believe it or not, and Neil Young addressed two. Rockin' in the Free World, was that the other one? Rockin' in the Free World, and it was Hurricane, I think. Maybe he should play Neil Young's song, Everybody Knows This is Nowhere. That would be good. Yeah, Neil Young should have, because Neil Young then went on to talk about it um let me see if i have it here i thought i grabbed it

he said this is not okay with me yeah i stand in solidarity with the lakota sioux because that's the reservation that the mount rushmore is on that's crazy horse i just read a biography of crazy horse and about oh you were trying to think of him. You were trying to think of him. And that's Neil Young's band's name is Crazy Horse. Right. Nice. Nice, nice baby.

But Neil Young's great. And they had already told him not to. And of course, Tom Petty's estate has formally issued a cease and desist order. And but they played three Neil Young songs. Is he playing I'm free falling? It should be.

You know, it was very interesting. The defense, like the state said, you completely misunderstand like all of them. Like Reagan misunderstood, you know, a Bruce Springsteen song. Born in the USA, like completely anti-American song. And that I Won't Back Down was written for the underdog, for the have not, who was fighting against, you know, power, the power, the B, the powers that be. And so it's a complete misread of Won't Back Down. Yeah. I mean, used by the president who's wielding his power unfairly. So, yeah, there's that.

Should we get to it? Wait, I have a new, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, let's do it. All right. So last night I took an edible candy and I was feeling, I had a nice fucking salmon dinner with Israeli couscous. I was in the right place, man.

I was feeling good. And I sat down. I waited all week. And I watched No Country for Old Men on your recommendation. I saw it. It came out in 2012, I want to say. Yeah. And I hadn't seen it since then.

And holy mother of God. First of all, every Coen Brothers movie gets better the more often you see it. That is so true. Like, oh, I think we were talking. Someone posted that because I had the same thing to The Big Lebowski. I was because I was so such a huge fan of Raising Arizona. And my favorite movie of all time. But anyway,

and then there was the one in the woods. What was that one called? Which was amazing. Not a comedy. Miller's Crossing. Miller's Crossing. I loved. Anyway,

the big Lebowski. Anyway, it's grown on me. Whatever. I could go on forever. Coen Brothers. I love. I remember,

by the way, being in New York, kind of lost in terms of what I wanted to do. Raising Arizona came out, let's call it 88, maybe 87. And I remember, you know, just getting jobs my, after my senior year and on my own. And I remember telling my dad, I'm like, you know what I should do? I should go down to the Coen brothers office, which was in New York city and go and just walk in and say, how do you like your coffee? Right. You don't have, you don't have to pay me. Yeah. And I'm like, meanwhile, that was one of the best ideas I ever had. Yeah. Did you do it? And then I remember when they won the Oscar

and they got up on stage for Fargo, my dad's like, are these those guys? Cause my dad just didn't understand raising Arizona at all. He saw it because he knew it was my favorite movie and then confirmed he had no idea who I was. Or had no understanding of me. But I mean, the thing about the Coen brothers is the casting is always

just so like so many characters, like actors you wouldn't have thought of. But Steven Root, even though it's a small role, is so amazing. And then, you know, who I love is the woman that plays the wife, Kelly McDonald, who was on Boardwalk Empire. Steals the almost steals the show. First of all, she's Scottish and she's doing this wilting West Texas accent to a T. She's amazing. Absolutely.

And then, you know, she also then got, because of that, in my opinion, she got cast in Empire Boardwalk. Boardwalk Empire. Boardwalk Empire, sorry. Where she played an Irish immigrant. Right. She had a sizable role in that, though.

And stole that as well. She really confounded him. Like, you know, she took away, she really antagonized him with, you know, because a lot of the movie is about the free will versus, you know, choice. Free will versus destiny. Well, if you haven't seen the movie, we should give a quick overview. It's based on a Cormac McCarthy novel. So it's a western it's a kind of a modern western and it's shot like a western it's like the you know the coen brothers specialize in these sweeping landscape shots and they have this ability to really get the uh um deserty feel they they just um They just make it look magnificent.

Yeah, they're inspired a lot by John Ford, which they mention. Right. Who's Mr. Western Vistas in his movies. Right, and it's about this guy who's a sheriff and his father was a sheriff and his uncle was a sheriff and about how some of them don't carry guns.

And all of it feeds into this theme of choice and fate, whether it's choice or fate. Right. And, you know, to give, I guess, to people who haven't seen it, the plot is basically this guy stumbles upon this drug deal that has gone very bad where everyone actually was dead, and he takes the money and,

um, it turns out there's, well, I won't give anything out, but someone is then hired to go get that money, um, from the drug deal that in which everyone's dead. And that guy is super,

you know, it's Javier Bardem. Oh, I think won the Oscar. He won the Oscar for it. He won the Oscar. He won the Oscar for it. He won the Oscar. He won the Golden Globe. And he won BAFTA.

And the movie won Best Movie. And I think Ethan Cohn won for Best Director. And was it Best Adapted Screenplay? Maybe, I'm not sure. And Adapted Screenplay also won the Oscar. And so anyway, this very, very unorthodox evil is in town. And the book, by the way, the protagonist is Tommy Lee Jones' character, the sheriff. And they spent a lot more time with him.

In this, they switched it, and it's a lot more on the guy who finds the money. What's his name's character? Josh Brolin. What's his name's character? Josh Brolin. And so anyway, it is this a little bit of a cat and mouse chase of this guy trying to get his money while the law is trying to capture Javier Bardem's evil character. And yeah, and it's amazing. So, all right, should I just try to do my theory in less than two minutes?

Let's hear the theory in less than two minutes. The clock is starting now. Okay. It's not going theory in less than two minutes? Let's hear the theory in less than two minutes. The clock is starting now. Okay. It's not going to be less than two minutes. Okay. No country for all my... So Cormac McCarthy wrote this in the early 2000s, and the book came out in 2005, and the Coen Brothers film came out in 2007. And it's obviously, as you said, it's a lot of tension between destiny and self-determination.

And I buy all that. And Javier Bardem's character, Anton Sugar, spelled C-H-I-G-U-R-H, this foreign name, is a completely striking, menacing character that some have compared to the character of Death from Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal. And in fact, there's many theories out there that Sugar was intentionally kind of Death as almost everyone who sees him dies. And Tommy Lee Jones doesn't see

him and he lives. But one guy even asked in a scene, are you going to shoot me? And he responds, that depends. Do you see me? And that guy, it is thought that he is then killed by him. So this character is unbelievable. And he won, as I said, the Oscar, the Globe and the BAFTA. this character is unbelievable. And he won, as I said, the Oscar, the Globe and the BAFTA. So my theory, which cannot be proven, so calm down, nerds, but you can't convince me it's not true, is that, and it might even be a bit unconscious on Cormac McCarthy's part, is that this movie is a direct allegory about 9-11 with a very thin veil that it tells the story of George Bush versus terrorists. The movie opens with the V.O. of Tommy Lee Jones, and he tells us he's the sheriff. He tells us he's a Texas lawman and that

his father was a Texas lawman. That describes Bush Jr. and Bush Sr. Bush Sr. was the director of the CIA. And of course, both of them were, you know, under the powers of the what is it, the second article or whatever. They are the commanders in chief of the what is the second article or whatever? They are the commanders in chief of the country and in charge of all crime. The crime you see. So then there's this dialogue in the opening of the movie. The crime you see now, this is what Tom Lee Jones is saying. The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. I don't want to go out and meet something I don't understand. You could say it's my job to fight it, but I don't know what it is anymore. And what is it?

It's symbolized by sugar. It's a foreign looking, this exotic, dark guy with a foreign name. And you can tell English is his second language. His signature weapon is a captive bolt stunner, which is a stun gun used to kill cattle. So this foreign terrorist uses unconventional weapons like passenger jets flown into buildings. When Tommy Lee is told about this unconventional way he's killing people, the camera often finds him sitting there speechless, trying to wrap his mind around it. And it made me think, remember when Bush was first told about the planes going to the buildings when he was in

that classroom? He kept reading the book. Huh? When he kept reading the book to the kids. Well, then he stopped and there's famous footage of him just sitting there. Now, I used to criticize Bush, by the way, just an aside. I used to criticize him because I hated him so much. But I thought back to it. If I was sitting in a children's class reading a children's book and a guy came over and whispered a sir, a plane just flew into one of the world trade centers and it's on fire. And he goes, but that's not all, sir. A few minutes later, it happened again. Another plane flew into the other tower. I would have, I mean, Bush to his credit sat there speechless. I would have been like, what the fucking fuck in front of children?

Well, because it's almost like one guy is telling a story to a bunch of kids and another guy is telling another story to a kid. A very adult story. A very grown-up one. And then Cormac McCarthy is telling this story where he's completely, you know, thinly, as I said, disguised it. So some more dialogue, which is throughout the whole movie, all that at the Eagle Hotel. It's beyond everything. And this is interesting. He shoots the desk clerk one day and walks right back in the next and shoots a retired army colonel.

walks right back in the next and shoots a retired army colonel. Hard to believe he strolls right back into a crime scene. Who would do such a thing? How can you defend against it? Let us not forget that 9-11 was the second attack on those towers. Right. The Twin Towers were attacked by attacked by a terrorist truck bomb in 1993. The bomb detonated below the North Tower of the World Trade Center and was intended, the intention was, the North Tower would crash into the second tower, bringing both towers down and killing thousands. Ramiz Youssef carried out the attack with the advice and funding from his uncle, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Oh, guess who he is? and funding from his uncle, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Oh, guess who he is? He's the mastermind behind the 9-11 attacks nine years later, eight years later.

Yusuf also got into the country illegally, and some of the 9-11 hijackers obtained fraudulent passports from Saudi officials, also gaining access into America illegally, which is talked about. More dialogue. It's all-out war. I can't think of any other word for it. Who are these people? And then more of the dialogue, because I'm going to talk about the borders in one second. You can't stop what's coming. It's the tide. It's the dismal tide. It's not the one thing. No, not the one thing. I used to think I could at least in some way put things right. I don't feel that way anymore. I don't know what I do feel like.

And then Josh Brolin is an army vet. He's the guy who's running from this evil. And he's completely mismatched from sugar. And there's a very specific talk about American borders. And I'm almost done. The official at the border in this one scene, because Brolin went over the Mexican border and now he's coming back to the American border. And the official goes, and it was very unusual dialogue where I watched it. I'm like, why is that in the movie so specifically? And the official goes, who do you think gets through this gate into the United

States of America? And he goes, I don't know. American citizens. He's like some American citizens. Who do you think decides? He's like, you do, I reckon. That is correct. And how do I decide? I don't know. I ask questions. If I get sensible answers, then they get into America. And if I don't get sensible answers, they don't. Is there anything about that you don't understand? So there was all this like who gets into our country? And it's this again, this on a soldier who is going to get killed by this evil terrorist. Anyway, I'm just going to talk about the last scene I'm done, which is probably the most famous scene in the movie, which is what I think this was based on, and that Cormac McCarthy sat down and wrote this after 9-11, not understanding this new wave of outlaw, not understanding. And it's too much for Bush. Bush couldn't handle it. He literally couldn't handle it and was lost. Never mind him then attacking the wrong country after it. But he just didn't know how to react to it. And then it was on 9-11. I never knew this. Did you know the thinking of why it was 9-11 that they attacked? Hitler's birthday. No, that's just when everyone gets high. Oh, that's 420, right. It's written that the 9-11, that it was 9-11 because in September 11th, 1683, is when the King of Poland began the battle that turned back the Muslim armies from the Ottoman Empire that were attempting to capture Vienna. For Osama bin Laden, this was a date when the West gained dominance over Islam.

And by attacking on this date, he hoped to make a step in Islam, winning the war for worldwide power and influence. Now, I'm sure people could poke holes in that. I know Obama, Osama also said, do it as soon as possible. You just said Obama. I know I did. But Osama bin Laden said, just do it as soon as possible. But I thought this was really interesting. So here's the scene. Sugar, I mean, sorry, Sugar's name is spelled so weird, confronts this old man. It's towards the beginning of the movie. And he wants to flip a coin to determine this guy, if he's going to kill him or not. And he goes, you need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be right. And the guy, old man in the store is

like, I didn't put nothing up. Sugar's like, yes, you did. You've been putting it up for your whole life. You just didn't know it. You know what date is on this coin? No. 1958. It's been traveling 22 years to get here. And now it's here. And it's either heads or tails. And you have to say it. Call it. So I'm like, what's 1958 about? Iranian Revolution. Incredibly specific. I Google 1958. The first thing I see, Beirut, 1958, America's origin story in the Middle East. Swear to God, that's the first thing I see. The first American invasion of the Middle East, 55 years ago when this was written, set the stage for further intervention. It was during Lebanon's

first civil war, Lebanese Muslims versus Lebanese Christians. Muslims wanted to join the newly created United Arab Republic, while the Lebanese Christians wanted to keep Lebanon aligned with Western powers, we went in. So anyway, that's to me, I could sound like this numerology lunatic. I just think it's too much of a coincidence. I really do. Like, as you know, when you write something and we talked about this, how hard it is to even pick characters names without lawyers rejecting everything. You have to think about 1958. Like why put that on there?

It's not random. I really don't believe it is. Right. Right. Anyway, that's my theory. All right. Now I ran,

I think it was actually the, the revolution was in 79, but in 58, didn't they, isn't that when they, when the, the, the Shah was, nah, never? Wasn't that when the Shah was? No, never mind.

I don't think it was. I mean, I looked this up, and it's just known as we went in. It's kind of referred to as Lebanon's first civil war because it didn't quite escalate to civil war, but it was the Muslims versus the Christians, and the most important thing was. All right, well, that was exactly 10 minutes, and again, if you're listening, it's the Sunday Papers the Muslims versus the Christians. And the most important thing was... All right, well, that was exactly 10 minutes.

And again, if you're listening, it's the Sunday Papers with Mike and Greg, kind of a comedy show about the news that happened this week. Or 9-11, 2001, whichever. I'm not cutting that story down. I cut down my other one. Here, you want a short movie about a theory of mine? Next week, we're gonna talk

about how dumbo is a metaphor for world war one nope you're ready here it is et is nothing more than um mary poppins okay supernatural being comes down from the sky befriends the kids keeps secret against the parents kind of fixes the family situation. Goes back up in the sky. Unbelievable. Mike Gibbons, divorced, alone in a condo, smoking pot and watching movies. That's the name of this segment. I love it. You want to go to sports? I have scores.

Let's do some sports, baby. Not a lot of sports, but we're starting to heat up, starting to come back. Here are the sports scores. You ready? Yeah. Major League Baseball, 38. NBA, 25. NASCAR, 1. Those are all the coronavirus infections.

PGA, 2. Nice. And by the way, those are old scores including friday night scores by the way my cousin denny mccarthy who's uh he's he's my my first cousin's son and he's on the pga tour he's doing well he's like really yeah he made the tour about five six years ago he's been finishing in the top 20 a bunch of times and i I'm reading the New York Times trying to catch up on the PGA scores of the weekend. And it goes, Denny McCarthy drops out with coronavirus. And then the guys he was playing with, they had to drop out of the tournament, too.

So my best to my cousin, Denny. I hope he's recovering well. Imagine golf. That's how the tracing goes. Then that foursome infected that foursome which infected that and now it's 16 and now it's 32 right right it is kind of an isolated sport though you know you're not passing a ball around you're pretty much it's just your cat your caddy is yeah you're outside and you know you're hitting the ball with a club and then your caddy is the one touching the ball.

So it's just you and your caddy pretty much. And as we know, if you're one of the top golfers, you do have women in every port. So you're infecting all of them. Is that is that what golf is known for? Now, they're back in the good old day. Yeah, I'm sure. Back in the good old. I think as soon as it was called out, they lost their biggest star.

Oh, that's right. That's right. Yeah. I know Chichi Rodriguez. He stuck his sword in a few along the way. Remember when he used to make a putt? He used to take his putter and he would do the Mexican hat dance. He'd throw his hat down and he'd dance around and he'd stick his

putter into his belt like it was a sword. It was fucking fantastic. Finally a little pizzazz in golf. Other thing in sports is Nathan's famous hot dog eating contest was on Saturday. Joey Chestnut once again won. Guess how many hot dogs he ate. I heard he ate only half of one because he was trying to eat it through his mask. But that beat all the other ones. 75 with buns in 10 minutes.

That's his 13th title. And that's his 1,000th career dog in the competition. Coney Island allowed betting this year. Really? Yeah. Wait, how? Nobody was there in person, but they, I don't know, they must have done it through OTB or some online thing.

Hmm. Well, that's how desperate they are for sports. I mean, that is, I read that in the sports section. I mean, it's something you train for. You train for it. And don't think Joey Chestnut's not getting laid. You know? Yeah. Well, he's going to have to be on top because I don't think anyone can sit on that stomach. And they'll definitely be. It'll probably be with a guy because he eats wieners.

Oh, boy. That was a really bad joke. And I apologize to our listeners everywhere around the globe. Let me go back to talking about no country for old men who erased that joke from their memory. Well, wait, wait. As long as we're still in sports, did we already talk about the Redskins? No, let's talk about the Redskins. You had news on that, didn't you? I mean, I can read you what happened. I don't have any jokes.

We covered this a few weeks ago. Did we? I think I think I brought up. It was a Black Lives Matter reaction. And the Redskins decided to do all this positive stuff for their Hall of Fame. You know, former player. Right. Who's a black player. And all all honoring this guy under the Redskins banner, which I thought was a joke. Yeah. Well, you know, the counter to this is that they've interviewed Native Americans

and 90% of them checked the box that said, I don't give a fuck. And so, you know, and the original coach of the team and a lot of the players were Native American at the time, which is why they were called the Redskins. So is that true? 90 percent of them. 90 percent, Mike. It's another fucking fascist takeover by the snowflake libtards. Lies, damn lies and statistics. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what poll that is.

It was 90 percent. That's that's very high. I'm going to look it up as we talk. Yeah, no. You know, look, I think their point being they they have much bigger issues they'd like to deal with

than a fucking football team logo. Well, maybe it was asked that way. Here's five issues. Rank them in. You know, here's 10 issues. Rank them in the order. Yeah. But of course they have bigger fish to fry.

Holy shit. New poll. This is in the Washington Post. Nine in 10 Native Americans said they are not offended by the Washington Redskin name, according to a new news, Washington Post, a liberal rag poll. That's the Amazon paper of record. They did a survey, was conducted of 400 individuals. And there you go. I know on Thursday night, Nike,

it's a weird way they wrote this in the article, and this is the AP, Nike appeared to remove all Redskins gear from its online store. Wow. Nike said Friday, this again, we should have the Hall of Fame of pretty empty gestures. Nike said Friday, it has shared its concerns with the NFL over the name and is, quote,

pleased to see the team taking a first step towards change. So that's how great of Nike. Maybe they'll tell all their children to stop making Redskins gear. Yeah. And Redskins merch. Yeah. All the young children in China who make their shit. Yeah, and when they make their fucking sneakers,

they're Air Jordans that kids in the inner city fight and kill each other over because they're so expensive. At least it won't be Washington Redskins logos on them. It's crazy. All right. All right. Let's go to science. Ooh, science.

A lot about space this week because there's some cosmonauts. That's what you call them now. They're not astronauts. They're cosmonauts. I know nothing you call them now. They're not astronauts. They're cosmonauts. I know nothing about this, but I'm dying to hear it. Kate Rubins is going up into space with a couple of Russian guys, and they're going to dock at the space station. A woman with a bunch of Russian guys?

Yeah. I already have very bad feelings about this mission. Instead of Tang, it's Pop-Off Vodka. And they're from Kazakhstan? No, they're going to launch from Kazakhstan, which is great. Okay. Now I feel great about it. Never mind.

Completely safe mission. So this woman is a hotshot. She's the first person to sequence DNA in space. I guess she's been in space before. And she is going to continue doing that sequencing. And she's also going to research using the cold atom laboratory on the station to study atoms as well as cardiovascular experiments to follow up on stuff she did before. So, I mean, look. That seems weird.

Why is she doing, why does that have to be done out there? It seems like one of those people who's like trying to find a record that hasn't been broken. Yeah. Like I could go to space and say, hey, I'm going to juggle one ball. One ball's never been juggled in space, so I'm going to do that. Right. And I'm going to have that record. Right.

Hey, has sequencing DNA been done? Like, I know it it's a super drag dragging all this shit up there yeah but if i do i'll have the record right now it's like conventions honey i gotta go to hawaii it's a work thing we're at our annual convention they're giving me uh they give me an award she should work on her russian rape kit That's what she should work on in space. That's right. Yeah. And, you know, and I guess they have to when they get to the space station, they have to elect a leader. And the Russians have already decided. My jokes are, you know, I didn't take Ritalin today. I took no Ritalin. They didn't bring up a Russian voting machine. I'm finding that I'm really good at the setups. And then my mind starts to go, I'm supposed to bring dessert to Mary's party tonight.

Yeah, right. No, go ahead. Spit out the joke. Then there's NASA is putting out a $35,000 reward for anybody that can design a toilet that can be used on the moon. I already have it. It's called the moon. We all piss and shit on Earth. Why is the moon any different?

Right, right. Sometimes our shit goes through a dumb device that is spinning water and spins it right into our river and water systems. Yeah. Well, I guess zero gravity might be an issue with taking a shit, you know, because gravity really is the key to taking a shit when you think about it. Oh, it's the when you're when you're taking one in the wild. Yeah. Oh, my God. You're taking one in the wild? Yeah. Oh, my God. Imagine.

And I know when I take a shit, as a 54-year-old, when I was young, a shit was like pouring out canned peaches, man. It just flowed. It was crisp. That's disgusting. Hopefully, it was a little firmer. Yeah, well. So your shits were all syrupy and delicious? No, I had a lot of semen in there.

Okay. And then I one wiped it. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. My mic went out. Sorry. It does that. Anyway, back to peaches.

Go ahead. One wipe, clean white sheet. They call it a surrender because it's a white flag. You like saying that, yeah. And now that I'm 54, there's the initial gravity and then there's the shake. There's the initial gravity, and then there's the shake. There's 20 seconds of trying to shake a Klingon off so that my wipe doesn't become like a scoop. I want to wipe.

I don't want to scoop. Yeah, you don't want to start spackling. By the way, I got one of those cold water bidets. Have I told you about it? Yeah, I got a picture of it from you. It was a video. Not the video of you on it. Videos are the pictures that move, Mike. Getting bidet-ed.

Is that a verb now? I got bidet-ed for the first time on Instagram, if you want to watch it. But I'm not going to lie to you. Not a fan. It's not doing its job. Because I don't mind that it's cold water. That's fine. It gets a little hot back there. I don't mind that it's cold water that's fine it gets it gets a little

hot back there i don't mind cooling it off but you have to turn it so hard that your anus is a little bit prolapsed you've just you've just pushed something out oh and your innards of your anus are exposed and now you're blasting it with water it It fucking hurts. And then when I wipe it off, I got water from my butt crack through my taint on my balls. It takes twice as much toilet paper to mop up all the water. It's like a woman is upside down in your toilet, peeing all over your undercarriage, spraying it everywhere against gravity. That's what it would be. By the way, the moon's not going to help women's pee situation. That's right. Spraying it everywhere. Against gravity.

That's what it would be. By the way, the moon's not going to help women's pee situation. That's for damn sure. Only going to get worse. Only going to get worse. If you can imagine female peeing getting worse, try it on the moon. So I've never used a bidet. Except, dumb joke, except cleaning bar glasses because it looks like one of those, you know,

bar glasses of the war that shoots up into them. But I think, might I use more toilet paper to clean up the mess a bidet would cause under there? Exactly what you're saying? Yeah, absolutely. You know, because it shoots at an angle. It's coming from the back of the seat. If it was coming straight up at your asshole, that'd be great. But it's skimming it,

which also means it's, if this is my asshole, the bidet is coming at this angle. It's shooting, it's shooting little flakes of shit across at your balls. So your balls are getting covered in shit water. Wait, some of the higher end ones I know

have like, it protrudes. It comes, the jet comes out like the mouth in Alien. It comes out, it telescopes out and blasts you from straight underneath. Well, I don't have one of the higher end, no pun intended. I don't have a higher end bidet. Mine is like, it was like $19. I got it on Father's Day and I don't think I'm going to use it anymore. I think just the dogs should use it to catch the water in their mouths and have fun.

Yeah. All right. So that's that. That's that. What do we got, a Dear Amy? Let's do a Dear Amy. There it is. This is a short one. It's nice.

Dear Amy, I'm from a rather large family. My mother has six children. By the way, for new listeners, write us some letters and some mail because we started this because we had no viewer listener mail. Oh, yeah, that's right. So we answered this column called Ask Amy, which is seemingly in every newspaper, where this old woman, who I'm told has a sense of humor because she's in some NPR game show thing.

Yeah, I don't think she's that old. Oh, that's too bad. A lot of her responses are. Anyway, because we don't think she does a good enough job answering, we then take her questions and we answer them. So dear Amy, I'm from a rather large family. My mother has six children. Ever since we were old enough to start making money, she's been guilting us into paying

her bills. She lives way above her own means because she gets five incomes, her own plus money from four of us. Now I'm 29 and still broke because I've given my mother so much money because I've given my mother so much money. I see this cycle does not help either of us, but what should I say to her? I'm not living with her anymore, but she still collects money from me. Signed, broke. Dear broke, your mother is a baller. I got to take a lesson out of her book. I ought to set this up with my daughters as soon as possible.

What's your mom's number? I want to get advice. This is the greatest thing ever. You don't use your right to your mother. Thank you. Thanks for stretching out your vagina for me. Suckling, suckling me on your tits,

spending fucking 24 seven, raising me for 18 years. Yeah, you can pick up her hbo bill i love the i love the image of her though with the gold toilet furs just and then also like a landlord like whoa whoa it's the second where's the money yeah where's the monthly check now i love let her live that way she earned earned it. Every mother deserves that. It's the reason it honestly, I can't say what percentage of me trying to raise my kids well is me seeing it as an investment in my retirement, because that's what it used to be. That's what it still is in a lot of countries. People have a lot of kids because that's the retirement account. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Yeah. We do have some mail from our own listeners. You want to hear a couple? I do. All right. This one comes from a woman named Joanne who says, I seem to have a crush on these guys. Oh, that's sweet. Isn't that nice? That is, God, I mean, it's kind of hard to believe, but I, listen.

Hey, look. These are real. We get a lot of mail. Some of them are going to be like that. I don't think anyone hacked your account. Go ahead. This one comes from Michael Wilson. He says, hey, I recently found the Sunday Papers podcast.

Have fallen in love with it. You're a great team. I've subscribed and given you five stars on iTunes. We always appreciate that. And have a crush on both of you. The only problem I have is the disparity in volume between you two. On a one to ten level, Mike is a five volume and Greg is a ten. I turn the volume up to hear what Mike is saying,

and then Greg comes on and blows my eardrums out. That's by design. We spoke to our producer about this who uh who says that it's really that i have a higher pitch like a like a female and they said science they said i don't know what you call it but on the levels we are literally the same according to the computer yes but my annoying my annoyance level apparently is is much higher on the ear there's a shrill meter i guess which you are off the charts well here's what it is honestly is i have really bad hearing part of is from that m80 and i can't he listen to me i can't hear my own voice. I feel it in my throat. I know it's coming out my mouth, but I don't hear it organically in my ears. And this runs in my family. And that's why we're all yellers. My brother's the same way. It might be allergies. It might be the way our eardrums are set up. But I naturally fucking scream for some reason.

be the way our eardrums are set up, but I naturally fucking scream for some reason. And I have a broken voice. So as a speech therapist told me, I speak loudly because I'm project, I'm trying to project through it. Yeah. If I go down to a low, if I go low, my voice breaks up. Yeah. Like you can hear it now. So I, uh, and also coffee, which I kind of quit, but I had one today to get up for this. But wait, you used to tell me that all the time you would call customer service. Yeah, I called customer service. And very often I would describe my dilemma. I've got my computer's not starting.

It's pinwheeling. What should I do? Well, what you need to do, ma'am, is download. Excuse me. I'm a guy. That's the best. Oh. That's the best. I mean, it's such a funny insult when you're like, easy lady to like a guy friend.

You know, it's kind of an old school dumb insult. In our defense, in fairness, we do it on a meta level because it's such a dumb joke. We're making fun of the joke. But it used to be. But when someone unintentionally does it, there's nothing worse. I'd like to speak to your supervisor. Yes. How can I help you?

Your operator is very rude and has hurt my feelings. Well, ma'am, let me send you some perfume and some flowers and maybe. Yeah. Oh, your clothes weren't delivered. Oh, ma'am, this is the men's department. Let me transfer you over to high-pitched ladies. Ma'am, can you take it down a notch it's hurting my ears i answer phones all day and i have to tell you this is the most shrill woman i've ever are you are you having your period ma'am

because you sound like a karen david dravenak says i listen to almost every comedy podcast out there. Corolla, Rogan, Burr, even Fitzdog. But this is by far the best one I have ever heard. Whoa. And as an aspiring cartoonist who was rejected numerous times back in the day, it's great to see you guys rip those piece of shit cartoons a new one. My only regret is that it's not daily.

Well. Does iTunes have a chart for rejected cartoonists? Because I think we'd be trending number one with a bullet. I think so. All right, let's look into that. Well, thank you very much, rejected

cartoonist. You learn from rejection. There's no such thing as writing, only rewriting. You know that. And then finally, David Kimmel says, I'm a huge fan. I think you're one of the best stand-ups of all time. I've been listening to Fitz Dog Radio since your first year. I love it. But my favorite guest on Fitz Dog Radio has always been Mike Gibbons.

So now that you guys have a regular thing going with the Sunday Papers, I couldn't be happier. It's the best podcast going right now. That seems to be a theme. What about it? They love our 10, five audio levels. People are just dealing with it.

Just deal with it. Put cotton in one ear before you put your headphones on. I imagine this is mixed. So it's, we're both ears, aren't we? When I do the raw feed of mine, usually I plug it into two different channels on my recorder, and it actually is one person in each ear. Meanwhile, my audio could be off the charts this week. I'm looking down, and because I'm yelling more because my voice is getting weaker as this hour progresses,

especially because it's in the second hour, and also I have a professional mic stand now, which is new to me. So this thing's right in my face. Yeah, it looks good. It's called Mic Technate. Yeah, I looked it up. Yeah. Thank you. You brought the mic stand over.

Of course I did. So, you know, very happy that you that you're you know, you're improving your your quality. Well, the closet we haven't bought any new clothes, but these are sound deadening and they're doing fine. Is that where you go when you're angry and just yell into the coats? Yeah. Why don't I have a joke for that? Yes. By the way, this is a slipper that's literally in here. Trump. These are Trump slippers for listeners who are not watching on YouTube.

And they, someone gave them to me as an ironic gift. They stayed in a hotel and you get these for free. That's amazing. I'm going to wear them to vote. And if they're Trump slippers, shouldn't they be like a size five? They should be a size five. And you just use them to kick around the have-nots. Should we do a little business or should we go straight to obituaries?

Oh, well, let's go to obituaries. And that's all, folks. Because I think I know who you're going to talk about. Obviously, we're going to talk about the late, great Carl Reiner, where if you're in the comedy business on any level, he's one of these guys that is just a handful of people that you would never hear anything negative about. Well, actually, people attack him on the right because he was very vocal against Trump.

But in terms of his comedy career, the guy started out your show of shows, did 137 episodes of your show of shows with Sid Caesar. He created, produced, wrote, acted on the Dick Van Dyke Show. He's in my heart because of The 2,000-Year-Old Man, which is a collection of bits that he did with Mel Brooks. Legendary. They came out on, I think there was three different albums that they put out, which my father gave me a box set of the albums when I was a teenager

because we used to listen to them all the time and that was like a real bonding thing for us was listening to the 2000 year old man and that's cool and so he gave me the records when I was a teenager I still have them and then I would listen to them with Owen we would play backgammon and we listened to the 2000 year old man when he was like eight years old and he loved them and then uh and then so when i had carl reiner on my podcast about six years ago i brought the the uh the box set and he signed it for me wow yeah but um that's i reposted the interview if you guys want to check it out i put it up a few days ago and it's already got like three times as many listens as any of my other podcasts everybody's uh it was a few days ago and it's already got like three times as many listens as any of my other

podcasts. Everybody's, uh, it was a very important podcast to me, maybe top three of, of, of the 800 something I've done. And, uh, you know, what, what an amazing guy he is. He's, and I, I had him on, um, a couple of shows as a, you know, just as a guest. I didn't have the intimacy kind of you had with him, but he just charmed everybody. He was just so nice, so humble and real, real legend. I mean, kind of did it all. Hey, you know what I didn't look into? I wonder what Steve Martin, because didn't Steve Martin do some movies with him, right? Well, he, well, Carl Reiner co-wrote and directed The Jerk.

Of course. Oh, yeah. Right. And then All of Me with Steve Martin in All of Me. And then Dead Men Wear Plaid. I think there was more. I think he directed a bunch of those. Yeah.

So, and he won 11 Emmy Awards, Grammy Award, Mark Twain Prize. And you know how many times he did Carson? 60 times. Are you serious? Yeah. So, you know, like, look, the guy was, what, 98 or something? 97, 98 years old? He's up there.

I think he was 98. And still sharp. He sees Mel Brooks almost every night. He what? And saw Mel Brooks almost every night. Yeah, I think they used to have ice cream and they'd watch TV shows and movies together. Order dinner and watch movies. They had a whole ritual.

What a life. I read two of his. He wrote three memoirs. I read two of them. And just such a full life. I mean, this is a guy who went to, it must have been the Korean War, right? Would he have been in the Korean War? Might have been World War II, no? No have been the korean war might have been world war two no

no well korean war was the 50s that might be right yeah he was born in 1922 so could have been either of those two wars actually shit anyway he was uh he and his he was the i know he was i know he was in the war on drugs that's right and uh people don't talk about that one because all the shame of having been lost it so badly. He he also told me this great story about how he was. Oh, it was World War Two. It was World War Two because he was shipped overseas and he was in. I can't remember what country and they were getting they were getting suited up and the next day they were leaving for japan going into a hot spot in japan and uh the the rso what do they call the entertainment wing of the military

i think yeah r rfo no r yeah what did it? Whatever it's called. They came through town, and one of the comedians dropped out, and they needed somebody to fill in. And he had some comedy routines that he had been doing back stateside. And so a buddy of his was in the RSO, or whatever it's called, pulled him into the show.

He fucking kills. And they arranged to have him stay with them and stay on the tour and not get shipped off to japan whoa possibly saving his life right isn't that amazing imagine how desperate you'd be at that point i'm like yeah i'm a i'm a ventriloquist my dumb my dummies at home but if you give me one week, I will have a dummy. I'll make it in the canteen. I do this bit where I beat the shit out of myself until people laugh. Listen, if you have any fruit in a mallet, I could, trust me, I'm ahead of my time.

I could really not die in war. And I promise I won't have sex with any teenage girls. I know that's a thing with the comedians. Oh, man. All right. What a life, too. So cool. What a life.

Well, a full one. And God bless Carl Reiner. Well, Mike, we've done it. All except one thing. It's what people crave. It's that piece of fruit they give you after you run a marathon. It's that cigarette you have after sex.

We call it the Sunday funnies. Could have said icing on the cake. Go ahead. Cherry on a sundae. No, because when you eat a cake, you start with the icing. You don't eat the icing at the end of the cake. I guess it's the last thing put on. Okay, go ahead, though.

Oh, you're talking about making it? I'm talking about experiencing the joy of something. There's nothing fun about making a cake. It's the gild on the lily. Okay. Okay. Let's start off with the lily. Okay. Okay. Let's start off with our good friend, Andy Kapp. Can't wait.

Not a friend to the ladies as much. Not necessarily. If you were to pick a dream husband, I don't think domestic abuse would be at the top of your list. He's a family man. He's married. Long-term marriage. He seems to come home every night he's

drunk and belligerent but he certainly comes home okay so this is a comic and again i i feel like i have to do a disclaimer at the end of every one of these because i when we're not laughing along with this we're just pointing out that these appear in the Sunday paper. The children, they see the colors. It's bubbly, cartoony. That's fun. Let's read this. Here's what you're going to read on Andy Cap this week. The wife is sitting in the corner

with a smile on her face and a swirling circle. Swirling circle and a little bit... Oh, it's like she's an angel. Go go ahead i get it and andy is walking away cigarette dangling rolling his sleeve down it was up still got a fist going with his right hand and she says well that's a load off me mind. I was beginning to think he lost interest in me. Okay.

This is as if you and I were so bored with the regular funnies that we came up with a strip called Handicap. Yeah. And we tried to write the most inappropriate, immediately cancelable cartoon strip.

For ourselves, which we wouldn't even... Yeah, no, no, for ourselves. You wouldn't even email it to somebody. You would write it down and show it to them and then crumple it up and throw it out.

And why would we do this? But if we read it on this podcast, it would be because we had too many viewers. We had just too many listeners and we wanted to, we wanted a clean house and get down to about three, three disgusting male pigs who didn't understand that we were taking the piss

out of this thing and laughing at it from this other level. But the fact that she's smiling, I mean, it's crazy. And it really speaks to the culture of the British. And, you know, what a shitty bunch of people the English are. But what's crazy is how it is making a joke out of the real disease that battered women, the psychological disease they have of staying there.

And then some of them are, in the worst way, it does show interest. And sometimes they will, oh God, it sounds, whatever. I'm only going to get in trouble saying this, but some of the psychological disease of battered women who don't report them to the police and then defend them like crazy. Yeah. Is it's that Stockholm syndrome thing. And there's probably a more accurate term for it of the battered. And and it is in this perverted way, like he still loves me. And and this joke is squarely on that unbelievable problem. Yes. Oh my God. And creating a dynamic where she wants it so

much that who knows, maybe she's pushing his buttons to get his attention. Which does happen. And please trust me, I'm not fucking saying anyone deserves it or asked for it. But sometimes the battered woman in completely again, psychologically off missteps does instigate it.

Yeah. Knowing it's coming from this monster. Well, here's another guy whose wife, I don't know that Norway had a lot of, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy offices. I think you were kind of on your own if you were the wife of a Viking. Listen, if you were a wife in the in the late 50s in Mad Men, you had your fucking crazy issues. Never mind Viking times. So Helga. Late 60s, yeah.

Helga's standing there. She's got an iron in her hand and an apron on. Hagar, not Hagar, Hagar. We're sticking with Hagar. Sitting on a blue chair. He's got his hands crossed across his chest, leaning way back. So wait, where is this? I missed it.

Where's the setting? Living room. So he's leaning back in the chair. And she says, I've been ironing clothes, washing windows, scrubbing floors. And you just sit there waiting for me to bring you a snack. What does that say about you? And he goes, I'm patient. I'm patient she has just laid out for you

how imbalanced this relationship is and how much she's given and then he basically says fuck you I got a little distracted because I thought his response was going to be what's a window but that's I got a little distracted because I thought his response was going to be, what's a window?

But that's how ignorant I am. Glass had probably been around when it was the glass age. But anyway, I don't know. It's almost like we have to do these first before we get to Andy Kapp because I'm like, kind of a good guy. He's kind of a good guy compared to Andy Kapp. Sure. He's patient. You know? He's gonna let her do her work before he demands that she go inside and do

yet another thing for him. Yeah. Hager. Yeah. He's patient. What do you got in the circus this week? The rape's not even coming up until later. That's how patient I am. That's right. When I pillage your privates.

Yes. Okay. Here we go. We got a keeper. It is today's family circus. It is a holiday version. You'll see these little fuckers, the kids. They are standing by their window, and they're all covering their ears, and little fuckers, the kids, they are standing by their window and they're all

covering their ears and it's nighttime outside the window and you see fireworks in the sky. And the kid lays out this unbelievably funny joke. Christmas and Easter are quiet holidays. New Year's and 4th of July are noisy ones. No, but then, but then what's the punchline after that? Oh, there's a mark. It's round. Oh, it's a period. That's the end of the sentence.

Sorry. There was something after it. It was called a fucking period because he had done his work that day and was done. So his big leap, the entire creativity of this strip is that he connected New Year's Eve to 4th of July in terms of there being fireworks. That was it. I went back and read it because I'm like, surely there's a joke like he took a holiday that's not known for being loud. But maybe there's a ruckus and there's a commentary on that holiday because the kids are saying it's loud. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, I don't even know what that holiday would be. But Rosh Hashanah when our loud Jewish neighbors go at it. I don't know. But anyway. Father's Day when mommy has sex with daddy. There's that. But how about I have a pitch for rewriting it.

Just put underneath the picture, I quit. Just put I quit. Or I've given up. Or help. How about just write help. Clearly you're struggling. I mean, what the fuck is this, honestly? It's crazy.

It's wrong now. He should just give his two weeks notice in the strip itself. Yeah. Yeah. Christmas is not that, by the way, quiet of a fucking. Christmas is probably loud as shit in that house with these little kids. Yeah. They're ripping presents open.

There's nine of them at the table. Yeah. Yeah. So crazy. All right. Is Thanksgiving loud when your uncle beats your aunt at the table? You don't even have to go dark. Just make an effort.

Holy shit. Well, things are about to get sexy oh i can't wait dagwood that piece of shit thank thankless eunuch is sitting at the table he's doing a crossword puzzle and uh you can hear from uh outside honk honk and now he's struggling to fit another piece in honk honk again now blondie comes in she has on a fuchsia top it's a button down but considering when these strips were done dangerously lowly buttoned and the two breasts it's not just that they're full it's not just that they've got a little under. There's side breast. Slower.

There is side breast. And the color of the fuchsia shirt set off against her yellow curls. It just pops. And she says, honey, can you finish that jigsaw puzzle after work? Your carpool is getting restless. He screams, screams at her. but i've almost got it so then he's got his coat on and he's finally on his way out and she says that that puzzle will still be here when you get home honk honk he says i'm down to 20 confusing pieces and then she walks over to the table dog is

walking next to her and she says he certainly gets riled up over those silly puzzles, doesn't he? And now she works on the puzzle, calls him and says, sweetheart, you can relax. I figured out the last 20 pieces for you. And then Dagwood says, hangs up the phone. I can't believe she finished my puzzle. Yeah, Dagwood, you know why? Because that's what she does. She cleans up your pathetic messes. You fucking zero. She's in the habit of coming in and making you food and getting you dressed because you're a helpless fucking loser.

Don't worry, Dagwood. When you get home, they'll still be the biggest puzzle of all, which is why she's with you. She can't even solve that. She's trying. Her whole family's trying. This piece is too small. It doesn't fit. I thought she'd be like, don't worry, Dagwood. I finished your puzzle. He immediately hangs up and tells Andy Kapp to get the fuck over there and set her straight. Hey, can you pick up Hager and head over to 1121 Oak Street? If he ever

hits her, by the way, I will find a way. I will meet with every geek in every basement in the Midwest and I'll find a way to break through the time-space continuum and get into that comic strip and kill Dagwood. He doesn't need to overtly hit her. He's just hitting her with psychological gut punches every step of the way.

Just like being married to a black hole with a bow tie. Alright, Mike. I forgot his bow tie. It's been a pleasure hanging out. This was great. I'll see you tonight. We're going to a little six-person, socially distanced pool hang where we're going to sit in the water. Apparently,

I just got a text from Mary. It's 90 degrees up there. Yeah, because she lives in the stupid valley. So we're going to. Because she lives in the stupid valley. So we're going to sit in her pool and watch jaws projected on her her house, I guess. I don't know how she does it. Yeah. Those are our fireworks. Spielberg fireworks.

Well, they canceled all the fireworks at the beach. That's why we're leaving the beach. We're going in 24 explosions every second. Yeah. All right. Thank you guys for listening. leaving the beach. We're going inland. 24 explosions every second. Yeah. Alright. Thank you guys for listening and we want to remind you once again. Also, I'm going to talk about Jaws for two hours next week on this podcast.

Roy Scheider. We want to thank Tony for doing our theme song and our logo is up this week. It was done by I'm forgetting his name. I'll say it next week, David. These are great, by the way.

Everyone doing this, it's so nice. I guess I sound like a hack, but please subscribe and all that stuff. Tell your friends, you know, this podcast, we're bringing it to you free. At a certain point in the next couple weeks, we're probably going to introduce some kind of a, I don't know, some way of monetizing it. We haven't thought about it too much, but we're going to do it in your home for a nominal fee. And if you want to also get more of me, I'm on Fitz dog radio every Tuesday.

That comes out this week. We've got Mark Norman is my guest. And then my podcastish with Alison Rosen comes out every Wednesday and if you want to go to Fitz dog calm pick up a grapefruit Simmons t-shirt or subscribe to the

podcast and then you could reach me on long movie reviews no one asked for calm now also not or Gibbons at Gibbons time on on Instagram and Twitter. All right. I have to be more active on Instagram, but I put up these clips when we find funny ones.

Yeah. Follow them. It's a good follow. All right. See you tonight with my M80, motherfucker. We'll see you next week when you can hear all the news that you missed the week before. Wrap it up. Put a fish in it.

Take it out. Throw it in a birdcage. I'm going to burn Mary's house down tonight. See you. Take it easy. Take it easy. See you. It's Sunday.

Sunday papers. On Monday It's a day later Craig and Mike will read your news You've probably never heard It's Sunday Gotta make it through the news You gotta see those blondie moves

That Dagwood is a piece of shit greg and mike discuss the news as long as sponsors pay the dues listen to some pit stock interviews it's sunday