Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 185 10/8/23

Episode Date: October 8, 2023

This week Bill Maher takes the moral high ground, Spotify is using AI to translate podcasts to other languages and breakdancing will soon be an Olympic sport.

That rustle of the paper means it's time for the show. A coffee and an Adderall, come on, let's go. Sunday Paper Podcast with Greg and Mike. Clap it in five, four, three, two, one. Read all about it. That's all he said. Read all about it. all about it new hampshire baby that's for the fitz dogs roaming these days oh my god you have so much more energy than i last heard you three seconds ago it's called

show business mike thanks for not always what they appear time show my God, is it Showtime? Showtime. Have you seen that show, by the way? See, what show? Showtime. It's about the Lakers. No, you know what? I think that's what it should have been called, but I think HBO didn't want to call their show Showtime. So it's called, what is it called?

Winning Time. Oh, Winning Time. Oh, okay. I don't think anyone has ever used the phrase Winning Time. Oh, Winning Time. Oh, okay. I don't think anyone has ever used the phrase Winning Time. No. No, that sounds like Charlie Sheen. Winning! Chris is putting in it was canceled. Yeah, I was bummed about that.

I was really enjoying it. The show was canceled? Well, it wasn't renewed, maybe. That's the, you know, it finished its second season, and it's not coming back. Well, they definitely closed out the second season with, like, the, you know, lots of chyrons, the little text telling you how everything wrapped up.

So, yeah, they were saying goodbye. Chris is saying no promotion killed it. I, you know, I thought season two was better than one. All right, we should address some things. One, my bloody eye seems to have moved into my throat. We both think we might have... I didn't think I had COVID until you said you thought you had COVID. I don't know that I have COVID.

I know my wife does, and I sleep with her. You do? Yep. Gross. And so she got it. That's your fucking wife dude i know that's the mother of my children and uh she so she got it um oh you fuck aaron jesus i fuck aaron it's weird so you've seen her naked well not only worse is i'm having sex with a 57-year-old woman. Ew. If you had told me when I was 18 that I'd be banging a 57-year-old,

I would have said, just shoot me. Shoot me right now. But you know what? I love it. I love having sex with my 57-year-old woman. Actually, I think you were a better human being back then, and you would have been like, did you just say banging? Is that what we're doing now? We're it as banging is banging yeah i don't know that there's a lot of banging anymore that's the old

thing that happens when like you're going to a high school reunion and you have these images of you know the girl in high school or maybe the girl from the first few reunions when 20s and even 30s. And you go back now and you're like, oh, disgusting. She's my age. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. Just don't walk by a mirror. You'll ruin the whole illusion of what's going on in your head. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't even like, I hate seeing pictures of myself. I avoid them. But then I'm supposed to post them, which becomes a dilemma. Every time you see a photo, are you like, God, maroon again? I'm maroon again. What's up with this guy? And look at you. We're in maroon now.

I think winning. That's when I see myself in maroon. I say winning. You're like winning time? Winning time. And they always play this great funk song at the beginning of that show. And it's kind of a running joke, but we'll binge watch episodes. And the beginning of every episode, I stand up and I disco dance for the entire length of the theme song.

And she just sits there and like, what the fuck are you doing? The more lame she thinks she is, the harder I dance, the more crazy moves I throw. And then he's still banger. Still banger. She lets that happen. All right. So what's, what's going on? I, uh, I'm in New Hampshire.

I'm in, uh, Manchester. I flew in. This is the craziest weekend. I think I described it last week that it was happening. I flew in on Thursday and, uh, from LA to Boston, got picked up, drove an hour west by a guy who's a billionaire. Who's our friend Pete Scott put me in touch with this guy. We went to a party at his house one time and he's got this mansion on in Malibu on the beach. And wait, I wasn't there, right?

You weren't there. It was a 4th of July party. And then, and then I kind of helped him a little bit. He's trying to do standup. I met with him and try to help him out and stuff. And then he, uh, he was coming out to Boston. So I said, Hey, why don't you come to, he said, Oh no, he wrote me. And he goes, I'm coming to your show in Shirley, which is an hour West of Boston. And I said, great. I said, do you want to do 10 minutes? And he goes, sure. And then he ends up picking me up and driving me out there and we have dinner. And it's just so funny because nobody knows this guy is living. He's living in Boston for two months on his yacht, which has a five person crew. And he, they're just sitting on his boat with him while he lives

in Boston for two months before it goes off to the Bahamas or wherever. And we're sitting in the green room with these guys. They're like, hey, dude, how much is the fucking, how much is the cod? Is the fish and chips cod? Is that included? Like if I'm performing, how much do I have to pay? Yeah. And the other guy's talking about how he's raising worms on the side.

Yeah, dude, I got this bed of worms. I fucking sell them by the pound. I ship them around the country. I go, how do you ship worms? Isn't that illegal? No, no, no. You just put some fucking ice in there. You put ice in a box.

No, no, dude. Dude. They're fucking worms. I chop them up. Here's where I make my money. If you chop up a worm, it becomes three other fucking worms. You triple your profits. And this billionaire has just flown in on a private jet.

Yeah. Meanwhile, he just cornered the market on worms. Chop it in three. Have you ever thought about chopping it in six you idiot let me take over so we did the show he had a rough set because he's a very he's very intelligent and his jokes are very woody allen-esque yeah they're very neurotic and funny and uh wait what experience did i miss that what experience does he have telling jokes oh he's friends with tiffany haddish and she brings him on the road sometimes

the the billionaire yeah wow she brings him on the road to do like shows with her and she's come on why don't you come on the road with me by the way bring your private jet all right let's go on the road i'll meet you at your jet tomorrow at 10 o'clock. Yeah. Anyway, so then, God, but the show was fun. But then I drive back to Boston that night, wake up at 6.30 in the morning, which is 3.30 a.m. L.A. time that I'm still on,

to go do radio on Kiss FM. And the guy starts going, so you were on Best Week Ever? He goes, why don't I give you some situations from the news and then you can riff on them? He's like, Travis Kelsey and I'm like, what? I go, what? I didn't even finish my first cup of coffee. What are you talking about?

So I go through that for about 45 minutes and then uh and then we go off to this golf course and we play by the way wait i like uh the concept of you know why don't we get greg riffing on news items what how could that be organic oh you know what i see here 30 years ago he did best week ever why don't we reference that not his podcast where he only does that i know do people even know that we do this so i don't know i'm under the impression we haven't released these shows yet so i we're just recording them i go to uh the country club in brookline which is where they played the u.s open last year and i don't realize when I get there, there's no carts.

I'm now completely out of my mind. I'm so fucking tired. And they're like, no, no, you got to walk the course. And it's a hilly, long, professional golf course. 18. 18 holes. I remember when I learned in the Valley, I'm like, I'm going to walk because I always, always, always walk with my bag because I want to get something. If even if I play shitty, I at least got some sort of workout.

And we were in the Valley and you're like, no, no, Mike, get in the cart. I'm like, no, no. And by like 15, I am dragging. And that's when I learned the average walk is six miles when you play 18. This this course is probably eight and uh but but i in in full disclosure 10 the way i hit it because i'm zigzagging you're right military left right left yeah um but in full disclosure i had a caddy there was a guy carrying my bag i thought you're gonna say carrying you yeah but at the same time like i swear to God, and I finished, and an hour later, I couldn't walk on my feet.

They were so sore, and I kept thinking about Vietnam and guys being told to go in the bush and fucking hike for days on end at night with snakes and shit. I'm like, you fucking pussy. Oh. Well, that's one of the reasons I ran marathons is I was like, I can always draw strength. And it sounded crazy, but I actually still do that.

And it was, you know, 25 years ago. And I'm still like, you know what? Remember when you thought you couldn't go any further and then you went five miles further? Yeah. Right. Right. Right. So I don't advise mar marathons for anybody but yeah

or marriage all right all i remember i thought remember i thought i couldn't go one more year turns out that time i was right um but uh and meanwhile you might have had uh covid sort of gestating inside of you yes and then we got in a car and we drove through rush hour traffic for two hours to get to manchester and i got to a gig at a place called chunky's cinema house where it's a movie theater doesn't even have real seats it has like it has like staples office chairs like it's it's weird it was weird and the microphone went out halfway through my act and i'm standing in front of a movie screen it was it was awful that's that's old school yeah and now i know i'm playing the other chunkies in nashville tonight two chunkies they're that successful yeah there's a chain is it like an Alamo draft house, which I've never been to,

but that's one of the ones that popped up when we were looking, here comes the segue to stop making sense. Oh, really? Yeah. Alamo draft house. Obviously it started in Austin, I believe, but, um, you know, it's like, remember played against Sam's in Boston. It's that it's been around forever. It's like, it's a very new England thing. and Sam's in Boston. It's been around forever. It's like... It's a very New England thing. Yeah.

Food, drinks, waitress service while you watch a movie. Worked with some really good comics. I mean, the comics in Boston are all great. And the guy that runs this thing does...

Rob Steen is a great dude. And he's a hustler. He's the worm guy. He's the guy that does the worms. But he also books like 80 different shows a week in New England. Books 80 shows. Oh, my God. No time to focus on the worms.

He's splitting worms. Right. So what's going on with you? Well, I went camping earlier this week. It's October, right? So it's the last kind of chance. It was the first week of October, but normally I go, the sweet spot in Southern California and the Sierras is that like third week in September, I went up solo a few years ago.

Mosquitoes have gone away. There's literally zero. And, uh, I don't know if it's the first frost. I have no idea. But anyway, so I drove up and I want to go in the southern part of the Sierras. And there's this trail of 100 giants, which is one of the Sequoia groves. So anyway, Monday, I woke up at like 530 a.m., hopped in the car, saw sunrise when I was in Bakersfield. And it was just great.

It was as good as Southern California driving can get. Like, you kind of feel alone out there. And within three hours, I'm standing in front of sequoias, which are crazy. So I then had a plan. I'm like, listen, I'm just going to go on this loop. There's a big loop that goes by a town called Ponderosa, Camp Nelson, and I never explored this part of the Sierras.

And what's the altitude here? The altitude's reasonable, 5,000, 6,000. nelson and i never explored this part of the sierras and what's the altitude here the altitudes reasonable five thousand six thousand uh ponderosa is seven thousand so i'm gonna make my way around and ponderosa seems to be if you're looking at the font on the map the biggest quote town and that means they have a country store and so and there's all these campgrounds and some of them are abandoned which means you can camp there but there's the bathrooms don store. And there's all these campgrounds, and some of them are abandoned, which means you can camp there, but the bathrooms don't work and there's no water, but you can pull your car up and it's free.

So I think I'm going to do one of those. Anyway, pulling a Ponderosa. Mangled metal. Oh, and on the way from Trail of 100 Giants, it's like another planet because every tree has been burned. Wow. and it's just a forest of sticks, black, black sticks for the longest time. And then I remember, holy shit, this was the fire where they started wrapping the Sequoias in aluminum foil because it was getting so close

to these legendary trees. Some of them are like 1900 years old. So anyway, I go through all that. I get to Ponderosa and there's twisted metal and there's no general store. There's nothing except now the homes they saved behind it. So I pull in. Anyway, moving the story along a little, this old woman comes up, Dee.

Dee's there. She's having someone photograph her house because she's going to start. So she's pushing, renting her room on me pretty hard. But D and I start talking and I'm like, she's like, well, what's your plan? I'm like, you know, thank you very much. But I think I'm going to camp. You know, I have stuff. I'm just going to do this loop, go up. She's like, Oh honey. She's like, you know,

the road fell off the mountain. Right. And I'm like, what? I'm like, what? She's like, oh, yeah, no, it was big news. So she goes, the fires killed all the trees. Then all of a sudden there was the, the fires killed all the trees. Then it rained like crazy and nothing was holding the dirt. So the rain caused mudslides.

So at this point she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be right over there. She's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be right over there. She's like, that's the husband. All of a sudden, this woodland creature walks up. I mean, if this guy, if you planted him in Alabama or Kentucky, everyone there would be like, that is a fucking heck. I don't even know the last time anything touched his beard,

including hands or shampoo. He was a furry animal, just a furry animal. name was Tim was D and Tim and so Tim then starts talking he interrupts or just talks right over and goes yeah once the soil leaves with the mudslide then nothing's holding the rocks and it was a huge landslide and this is like almost a year ago the road slid off the mountain whoa a road that had been there so long so i'm like what so they start talking anyway i then went out and saw where the road so it's crazy but um anyway d then continues she's like yeah it's been it's been pretty pretty tough spell here because you, you know, then our winter.

And, of course, it was a huge winter, which most of the country knows. Like, the record-breaking snow in the Sierras. And she goes, yeah, we had 42 feet. I'm like, wait, what? She's like, we had 42 feet of snow. And then the people that didn't evacuate, it was not a forced evacuation. So, 20, I think like 80 people live in Ponderosa. She's like 20 people stayed and we got then snowed in when that last storm hit and we were isolated.

They had an airdrop food and to get the airdrop food, she goes, we had to crawl out of our attic window. Cause that's where the snow was and then then the water pipes froze she's like we had no water so she goes we the 20 of us had a melt snow to get our water and then she goes and get this she's like that weekend that we got snow in my grandchildren were my two grandsons were visiting They were then trapped with me for weeks. No! And she's like, they were driving me crazy. I would just push them out the attic window. Like, go, go, go, spend your energy.

And bring back snow for your air-dropped powdered mac and cheese. Oh, my God. This is three hours outside of Santa Monica. It's crazy. Jesus Christ. And so anyway, she's finishing the story and she goes, she's talking about pushing her grandsons out the attic window to just let them like run wild.

And then she goes, yeah, I got to tell you, it got a little suicidal. And I'm just watching her and she's like nodding her head. And then I knew she had something more. And she goes, and then, and she puts her hand up like a secret, and homicidal, to be honest I'm like, got it, T Who was the target? Totally understand what you're saying

Was the target Tim? Or was it the kids? I think it might have been all of them But it sounded like those two little wild animals Oh my God Yeah That's nuts And so now she's got this house she can't sell because there's a road that doesn't exist right there's no general store i mean ponderosa has to change its font to be one of the small the smaller towns now on that loop yeah wow so what'd you do where'd you hike so i went up a little further where the

road blows out and there's another campsite and the guy there was awesome and it's so cool like that it's very shining like cuz that he's like yeah I'm glad I'm here like when you arrived he's like they're reducing my hours now because it's seasonal because you know hardly any reservations now and there were like two other campers there but they have yurts which have nothing except a light there's no heat there's nothing like that but it's insulated and and i go because i was trying to gauge i'm like i think i might need a year like i'm gonna freeze in the tent and i go well has it gotten down to the uh i go has it gotten down to the high 20s yet and

he's like no no and i oh that was very comforting right and then he goes 31 I'm like okay that would I'm glad you followed up with that that would have been misleading so anyway then I'm like alright I gotta go find lunch somewhere end of story is I work my way down the mountain

a little to the next town which is I think Johnson Dale or something and that's near the kern river and then i kept that wasn't open so i kept going south and it got 20 degrees warmer and then i was down to where you've been i think before which is towards kernville much further south than ponderosa and i'm like i am not driving back up that mountain so i just grabbed a campsite along the kern right above kernville and it was great nice it was it was perfect went swimming it was fantastic you went swimming in the kern river yeah you know it wasn't that cold yet

no shit yeah because it's still warm there during the days like but they're they're like it's over but d told me they were all convinced and tim was like i was wrong about that one uh tim and d were convinced they were getting snow that, it was going to be their first snow that morning. Wow. So. Damn. Oh, Chris is asking,

what's the bear and mountain lion situation up there? They haven't seen bears in a while because I asked the guy. And then in Kern, he's like, you know, you can just leave your food in your car. He's like, we have no record. Because normally you can't leave know, you can just leave your food in your car. He's like, we have no record because normally you can't leave, you can't even leave sunblock in your car when you go backcountry camping. Toothpaste,

deodorant, it's such a fucking pain in the ass. They'll tear open your car door because it smells like sugar. So he goes, no, no, you can just put even your food in your car. There's no record of them. But up by D, that fire swept out or killed all, I think it probably just evacuated in a way, all the wildlife.

He's like, we haven't had a bear sighting all summer. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. Yeah. And normally the bears are like in their garbage at night. Damn. So what did you just go away for one night or two nights? I was going to do two, but then the one was pretty full,

and then stuff started building up a little, like things to do here. That's another reason I went. Strike is over, and already zooms are lined up, and you could tell it's getting busier. So I think the hiatus is over. Nice. Yeah, baby. I got to get one of them writing jobs.

We'll talk about that later when we get to entertainment. We'll talk about some shows coming back and some backlash from people that were going to come back early. We can talk about Stop Making Sense there. The general headline is see it. See it, run, dance to the theater. It is one of the most, like, my first word is inspirational. No, that's what you said, right? And all of us got outside and we're like, we're seeing it again.

And sure enough, I'm going tonight, Sunday night, with Olivia. I'm dragging her. I'm not even dragging. Olivia's already heard from too many kids in her school how cool it is. Oh, I got to see if Jojo will go with you guys. Will you tell my Jojo? No, I would. A hundred percent. I'd bring Owen, too. Yeah, I want Owen and Jojo to see it. It is. It makes you feel like anything is possible. It's just the well, we talked about it. Did we talk about it already?

No. Someone wrote me and asked. Apparently, you talked about it in your other podcast. Okay. Yeah. But it's inspirational, and it is like, obviously, those talking heads are pretty hard to deny. They are the top 10 American bands of all time. Is that safe to say? Well, I think they're cementing their reputation now because people are seeing it.

Anyway, this is what I want to say to people who might be on the fence you can't think about this as talking heads and you can't think about it as a concert film this and so many reviews say this is a musical he is in character and sometimes different characters each song and jonathan demi directs the cinematographer is the cinematographer from blade runner you are not seeing a concert film it is it's it's closer to hamilton than it is to uh you know uh any any other concert film that you've seen and it's and it's a music video i mean the fucking aerobic output from him and the rest of the band you've seen and it's and it's a music video i mean the fucking aerobic output from him and the rest of the band is off the charts it's it's insane um i i still haven't done a deep dive about how they filmed it but you said they they did like three or four takes

basically yeah i've read that it's three or four i've read both but at at the Pantages Theater, December 1984 or three, I think it's four. And and yeah, and they talked about ways to do it differently. Like we're not going to show every concert film shows the audience a lot like The Last Waltz. They'll have interviews. None of that. This is none of it. There's a show. It's also not going to be lit like a concert. It's going to be lit for film. It's going to be lit for the end's going to be lit for the end product which is film we're not a fly on the wall here we are i mean the cameras are very subtle but actually not that subtle sometimes they're on stage but it's it's really making a work of art and and what you really see is like let's say you never didn't even know you didn't know a single

thing about the talking heads you never even heard of them if you went and saw this you're like holy shit did you see that movie where these art students put on a concert yeah that's what you'd say right right and that there's a story and it's about isolation and and his character grows throughout it anyway just go see it go see it go see it um also i did a couple cool interviews this week i had lewis black on on monday oh my god dude there's just no one more genuine he's just a true i mean he's also an artist he like has put everything into being i didn't realize he went to he got a he got a master's in drama from yale and you know he's always written uh plays and directed and but it's also his stand-up he's just been so prolific and he's such a good

friend i've known him for forever and we had just a most amazing talk and it'll be out i think this week and then uh sam jade you know the comic sam jay yeah had her on and we never spent much time together and she kind of blew me away i kind of i feel like we need to be close friends, me and Sam Jay. She's just nice. Very cool. Interesting person. And I watched a recent special and it's great. Oh, yeah. Where's the special?

I don't know if they sent me a link or if I saw it on might be on YouTube at this point. I'll have to find out. But OK. But it's Netflix. It's on's on netflix oh good yeah you know i just watched i worked i watched uh kathleen madigan's oh yeah dude she is so fucking funny so funny she's just pure club funny you know she's a club comic who plays theaters. I think it was on, I think it's Netflix. Anyway, yeah, it was, she was really made me laugh. Oh my God. She taught, it was, it was delay.

It was, it was an older one before the documentary. And she talks about the Malaysian missing flight and what a shit show it's she's like it's missing and she's like and they're still open like they're still doing business like they have no explanation like silly me when I've been in a plane you know I'd be in a plane I had this weird thought that like people knew where I was like official people had an eye on the plane I was in. Turns out that might not be true. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Oh, Chris is now writing. There's a correction. Sam Jay is on HBO Max. All right. So, and Kathleen Madigan, by the way, he was happy to point out, I believe is from St. Louis. Yes. She talks about how terrible that part of the world is.

Oh, she does. Yes. Oh, there you go, Denman. Yeah. She talks about Missouri in really funny ways. Home of the. Like they couldn't decide in the Civil War. We don't know.

Oh, yeah. Jesse James ran around marauding on the side of the Confederates, but they often came up against bands of Unionists, and they would just have battles and burn towns down. It was crazy. For years. For years. Missouri did not have a side in the war.

They just had gangs. And they would come burn your fucking town down one day because you were a Confederate town. It was nuts. They just liked to fight. Yeah. All right, let's get moving here. We have some news.

This guy, Ben, was very nice and said, Mike should try the herb. This is regarding your eye bleeding. I know. Mike should try the herb Arnica. You know, you could send that to me before now. If that came in on Tuesday, I would have liked that. I wish I checked the emails more often,

but I often don't get to them until a couple days before the show. It was on the side of my eye, like near the, you know, on the outside of my eye, and then it migrated, and it just loves going towards the pupil, which is where I don't want it to go, and then it pulls, and it forms a red ring. I have a blue eye with a red ring around it, and I look like a robot.

Sweet! And it's still there. I did do warm compress, but then I read so many things that say there's nothing you can do. But I'll try arnica even now because it's a slight red ring around the eye now now will this still get you into your uh into your building through the um iris scanning technology i know i think i can get in anywhere with this thing they're like oh that's ai so this guy says use the herb arnica you can

get it in pill form uh it helps with bruising and i bet it will help his eye are you drinking a lot of water source my wife also yeah source my wife is a naturopathic doctor is that an oxymoron it is not what are you you're shitting on ben's wife now no i'm kidding i actually do you know that Rockefeller, when he started, when they started making pharmaceuticals in this country, most of it, they use a lot of petroleum in order to make them.

And I guess so much so that he wanted to get people off of this type of medications. He changed the course of medicine in America. Yes, because he wanted everything to be oil-based. So stuff like this, which is probably a much better solution, it was literally he funded all of the medical schools and he said you must only teach these drugs and not those any longer. You see, you've got to send me these emails.

All I've been doing is putting unleaded in my eye. Not Arnica. 89 unle unleaded in my eye. Not Arnica. 89 unleaded right in my eye. Shout out to Bruce Wise for doing this week's logo. Looks like a million typing monkeys doing Sunday papers. Very funny. The song from Emmett Hall is so fucking good. It's actually an infinite number of monkeys.

Is that what it is? Infinite? Yes. You're not going It's actually an infinite number of monkeys. Sorry. Is that what it is? Infinite? Yes. You're not going to get Hamlet from a million monkeys. You're not even going to get close. Yeah. You're not even going to get a Taylor Swift song with only a million monkeys. A million four, you got most of Taylor Swift's catalog.

But infinite is needed for Shakespeare's works. Emmett Hall wrote an amazing theme song this week. Thank you so much. Don't forget, you can always listen to them at the end of the show. You can hear the whole song. Although I think we just played the whole song because he kept it tight. It's like a nice little 20-seconder.

Yeah. Corrections. A guy named Steven, I can't tell if it's Feinstein or Feinstein, says, As a California Feinstein, whose father is from New York, he used to say that in New York he was Feinstein or Feinstein says, as a California Feinstein whose father is from New York, he used to say that in New York he was Feinstein. And then when we moved to California in the 60s, people started saying Feinstein and he went with it.

Diane, as a Californian, was Feinstein, her second husband, whatever. It was her husband's name. But since people pronounce it both ways in the u.s i don't expect to know how uh anyway ryan another uh correction on pronunciation is from ryan in chicago your pronunciation of pedro almar almar de var is surname al mar de var as well as the name of his film vulvar is on par with a Midwestern dad trying to order at a Mexican restaurant. Ideas Mio!

As a Midwestern dad who took a few Spanish classes in high school, let me help you out. It's Alma Dovar and Bol Bear. The Vs should sound like Bs. Kind of amazing how you've lived in SoCal for so many years and haven't picked up any sense of the Spanish. Isn't JoJo fluent? Maybe you guys can pick up Duolingo as a sponsor.

Hey, that's not bad. That's a good idea. I want to learn. Yeah, that's everyone's goal, right? We learn Italian. Well, the pandemic came. You didn't do it. I want to relearn French

because I don't think I could take on a brand new language but i knew some french from four to five years of studying it in school and uh i we should reach out to duolingo and see if they'll sponsor us yeah and then you know we have to try to i'll try to relearn spanish it's it's criminal that i don't know spanish i know it's pretty ridiculous maybe i should just do Spanish. Here's where I'm going to need some Spanish. I'm kind of Sacramento, California to the punchline on October 12th through the 14th. That's this week.

Arlington, Virginia at the Draft House, October 20th and 21st. Magoobies in Baltimore, October 22nd. Houston, Bakersfield, Austin. I'm doing a taping at the Mothership, Joe's Club, November 17th through 19th. San Francisco Punchline, Fort Worth, Atlanta. All tickets at FitzDawg.com. Come on out and see some live comedy. Yeah.

Mike, you ever get frustrated buying tickets for movies or concerts or theater? You know what? Actually, not anymore. Because I got game time. Not movies, by the way. I'm not saying movies. I said movies. What are you, waiting for movie prices to drop on game time?

Yeah, right. You're waiting a long time. They should do that, by the way. I know. We pitched that. We have a lot to talk about at our meeting. When's our meeting for Sunday Papers this week? I think it's Wednesday.

Oh, okay. Let's check on that. Yeah. But you know what? They have theater, so get this. I'm thinking, this is absolutely gospel truth, of seeing Hadestown. Did you ever see Hadestown? Is it Hadestown or Hadestown?

I mean, I thought it was Hades, but I mean, it's spelled Hadestown, but it's about mythology. Okay. H-A-D-E-S, right? Good Lord. Can we move forward? Yes. So you never saw this play that you think you know how to pronounce?

No. It won every award and it's supposed to be amazing. And too many New Yorkers have told me I need to see it. So it's out here anyway. It's on game time. So they don't do movies, but they do plays. There it is. And I'm going to be watching it. It's down to 132 bucks right now. Anyway, you shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to your next big event. Game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and there it is, theater events near you with killer last minute deals. Yeah, by the way, I love when they pop up when you're on here, the last minute deals. They'll let you know, like, grab this, like swipe here. This is the best one. But get this, dude, the Dodgers are

in the playoffs. Of course course i'm not following baseball right now and here dodgers tonight 76 bucks and that's no way oh my god yeah the key is to be patient and keep an eye on game time because um they have a guarantee if you get tickets in the same section in row on the same night you you get 110% whatever. Yeah, USC football tonight, $47. Wow. I know. It's very cool.

So get involved. You can download the tickets really easy. A couple taps, it's in your phone. No downloading to another place or transferring or printing. You just show up. Boom, you got it. Pick the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime, man. Download the GameTime app, create an account,

and use code PAPERS for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem the code PAPERS for $20 off. Download GameTime today. Last-minute tickets, lowestest price with the guarantee. Well, I don't want to whine about high prices, but I do want to talk about low prices on wine. And that's bringing us to our next ad read, Mike, which is about First Leaf. Did you do it? I did it. I did do it, which I've talked about before.

And they made it easy. Personalized wine delivered. And the best is it's on my schedule because someone has to be there when you have alcohol delivered. And it's just so cool. It's like you can pick the time they're going to do it right to your door. You choose the day your shipment comes. You're never stressing about missing a delivery. And the selection is backed by First Leaf's 100% satisfaction guarantee. So I went on, filled out my profile. You answer a couple of questions about what wines you like. And then they put together this list of six wines that they sent to me.

I just had to describe what wines I liked. You can even say which wines you don't like. Another great thing is that I get to avoid the overwhelmed feeling I used to get, like in aisles where I'm trying to shop, and you're turned on to new wines. So give your palate what it really wants with First Leaf. Go to tryfirstleaf.com slash papers to sign up, and you'll get your first six hand-curated bottles. Get this for $44.95.

Now, Mike, I think you mean $444.95, right? No, Greg. You'd think it would be that. It's $44.95. So that's T-R-Y-F-I-R-S-T-L-E-A-F.com slash papers. P-A-P-E-R-S. Try firstleaf.com slash papers. It just takes all the guesswork out, and you're going to be turned on to new wines,

which is really the main reason I did it. And it's so easy and cheap. I like having those extra bottles of wine around, too, because you're always going to a dinner party at the last minute. You forget to bring something. You grab a nice bottle of wine this way you know it's good you know they're going to appreciate it yep take a picture of it because when they tell you oh my god the wine you brought was so good you got to remember which one it was right all right let's get to the front page you got any paper i don't i mean I mean. Oh, hold on. Yeah, yeah, I do. I have wrapper. I have wrapper.

Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! Clear wrapper. Nice. Look at that. All right.

I call this one unfair B&B. And I grabbed this story because you had an eerily similar case. Okay. because you had an eerily similar case. Okay. The case started in September 2021 when Jovanovich, this dentist in LA, approved a long-term stay for Elizabeth Hirshhorn. Hirshhorn rented the guest house for six months

at $105 a night, spending $20,700 total. Five months in, however, Jovanovich offered to put Hirshhorn up in a hotel while a contractor made some repairs. Hirshhorn declined, and she also declined an offer to stay at his home. A tense exchange ensued until Hirshhorn's originally scheduled Airbnb stay ended on March 19, 2022. I'm going into the details because this gets crazy. Even so, the pair agreed to extend her stay another month while she looked for another property. Extending the lease beyond March 19 meant that Airbnb would not be involved.

Airbnb did not immediately respond for comment. So on April 12th, she stopped paying rent. The Times reported that about this time, Hirshhorn contacted the Department of Building and Safety, which identified two code violations and a lack of approval for occupancy and an unpermitted shower. She also submitted a complaint to a city.

Wait. So basically she's staying in an Airbnb. She overstays the lease and then reports the property to the city saying it's in violation of code. Yes. Okay. Okay. And then she's alleging illegal eviction, harassment, and nonpayment of relocation fees. So the official agreed that because the unit violated city codes, the landlord, Jovanovich, had to withdraw his eviction notices until he could prove that the unit was in compliance. But here's the catch. She won't let him in the unit his own unit so she can

so he can't bring it to code because she won't let her in and at the same time okay he can't evict her she's been on the property for one six months she also qualifies of a law you are very familiar with now and it's the new just cause ordinance which requires a landlord landlord to give a legal reason for eviction and if none exists the landlord must pay for relocation assistance yeah talk about it are you allowed to talk about it well yeah anything that's under la's rent stabilization ordinance which is basically any home that was built before 1950 or something and then you you you are so hamstrung it is the worst city to have because we rented out our house i don't think i've ever talked about this on the air because i i was so angry about it i don't

think i could control myself you were livid so is erin we had a friend it was a friend of a friend that became a friend uh move in to our house with the understanding that we were going to move out for a couple of years uh for for we said we were going to move out for like three or four years which we did we moved out for like three or four years long story why but we did and then uh and then we wanted to move back in and we let her know that we were going to move back in. We gave her like six months notice. And then she said, great, but you're going to have to pay the relocation fee of $18,000. And we were like, wait a minute, we're friends. We were just at the house at a party last week, and she fucking lawyered up.

She got nasty. She treated us like shit. She treated us like shit. She treated us like we were the enemy. It was fucking ugly. And we had to pay every dime. And then at the end, she realized that there was a $50 something that we owed her. And she goes, and you owe me $50 for this. It was just a fucking stab in the eye after all of it.

Not only that, she made you sign that you wouldn't ding her on any damages right so to her security deposit we had to pay it in full without uh assessing any debt which there were damages when she moved out she would have been assessed some money but we couldn't do it so this woman this woman in case, she's been living in his property rent free for more than five hundred and forty one days. This guy's Airbnb. I mean, at a certain point, don't you want to just hire a hit person? Just somebody, you know, where she parks the car. Maybe she has an accident on the way back to the house.

You know, I've talked about it before this generation, cause those guys are still around and they're still for hire, like intimidating guys. But I told you, I'll make it very short. I was in a place in New York and I, and it was the owner of the building put me in there and I gave him cash cause he was selling the building. So now the new owner comes and then the old owner, the agreement was when I sell the building, you know, you're going to have to leave. I'm like, yeah, yeah, fine. And it already happened with another place. So he knows I'm good for it. I moved and he put me in another building he owned. Fine. I'm in there. And he, uh, and then he calls me and he goes, Hey, I sold the building, but you know what? This guy's a fucking dick. He's like, stay in the unit.

He goes, you have all the rights. You have canceled rent checks to me. You just stay there. I'm like, you got it. Knock on the door comes a little guy with a clipboard. And he's like, what? He's like, you shouldn't be here. I'm like, yeah, you know, I have a lot of canceled rent checks. And he tried to beat me up in court and he lost badly. Right. Fine. And I know I've told this before, but this is the place on Sullivan Street. Yes. Chris, I tell my boss at HBO that Chris is its coolest dude from New Zealand. Anyway, he's like, yeah, you know, I had a similar story. I'm in a place with my girlfriend. We're cooking dinner, knock on the door. It's not a little guy with a clipboard. It's a guy where when I opened the door, even though he's the most peaceful thing, I instinctively backed up and my girlfriend hid behind my back and just peeked over my shoulder. And he's like, Hey, you're Chris, you're Deirdre. And they were like, yes. And he's like, so he has a little piece of paper in his hand that was folded up in his pocket. He's like, so you shouldn't be here.

And Chris is like, that's right. And the guy goes, oh, he's like, thank you. He's like, sometimes this is a little more challenging than that. He's like, you know what, though? You're so agreeable. You tell me. How much time do you need to vacate the premises? And Chris, his girlfriend is there.

And he's like, a week? And he's like, oh, all right. That's fantastic. He's like, so when I come back next Friday, this will be room swept. You'll leave the keys on the stove. And you'll be gone. And then we're all great, right? And Chris is like, absolutely. And he's like, oh, fantastic. You'll leave the keys on the stove and, uh, and you'll be gone. And, and every, and then we're, we're all great. Right. And he's like, Chris is like, absolutely. And he's like, oh, fantastic. You know what? Your dinner smells delicious. Sorry. I interrupted your night.

You guys have a great week. And then he left and that was it. And if that guy had showed up, if that guy had showed up at my door, I would have done the exact same thing. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have even had a quizzical look on my face. I would have been like, yep. Right. No, of course. Yes. Right. Yeah. And it's all, if you stay over a certain period of time and I think it might even be 30 days, which is like one, I, I don't forget the law in LA, but like once somebody stays, maybe it's six months, maybe that's why this woman got to stay. she was there for longer than six months and then you have then you have occupancy rights up the up the ass in la yeah um and and if you think police are gonna they have way bigger fish to

fry imagine calling the police like well why does he want you out well i actually don't have a lease and but they're like okay yeah this is really high on our list we'll be right over when he's promised to come back later tonight right right um let's get to this whore okay this is called a great whore um this news story was out this week and the title the headline was is this Alexander the Great's escort a tomb of a courtesan who may have seduced the Macedonian king is discovered after 2300 years. The tomb contains the cremated remains of a woman and a rare box mirror. Experts say she was a high-class escort from ancient Greece who offered elite clients not only sex but companionship and intellectual stimulation. And she may have plied her trade accompanying the armies of Alexander the Great or those who warred for his vast empire after the conqueror's demise. So I guess it was this mirror. They could

just tell she was a whore because I guess that was a like a really high-end gift and it was incredibly preserved but they're making a lot of assumptions here well yeah one of the biggest assumptions because i read a book about alexander and i should say i listened to a book about alexander and uh a lot of it talked about that he was gay and that he was he was a he was tutored by aristotle and in ancient greece that was a big thing with the tutors the tutors like to uh like to toot and they um you mean teachers have been sleeping with students forever yes and he and he apparently had some uh boyhood friends that he had sex with and then as and which which was kind of allowed like teacher student sex was

allowed and then boy to boy sex was allowed but then man to man was kind of frowned upon but they say that actually when he was older he was he was gay that alexander the great was uh alexander the great yeah aristotle teach him there's thesis there's an antithesis antithesis and then there's but wait bend over pull that thing up but also who wants who wants a hooker that's going to give that's going to give you intellectual stimulation isn't that kind of the opposite of what you want from a prostitute also what happened uh haggars uh lessons uh did alexander the great forget about the vikings like right don't you aren't there tons of beautiful women you're about to conquer? Yeah.

You're paying them? And now this one? And, you know, she's not always going to be supportive. You know that. Now, a mirrored box is only going to buy you so much. How many days did it take you to conquer Istanbul? I mean, it was pretty much a layup. Here come the corrections.

I have no idea if Istanbul was even around then. Now, he was based out of, Alexander was like, it wasn't called Greece at the time, but he basically conquered all of Greece, Western Europe, Egypt. Yeah, Egypt, India. I think he he occupied India. It was fucking crazy how much he conquered.

He's one of the greatest warriors of all time. This is going to be the new thing that goes on TikTok of women asking, how often do you think about ancient Greek whores? Yeah. Like twice a week? Yeah, that's why I like to go to museums. I just like the pictures of the old whores.

My husband thinks about ancient Greek whores. Ask your husband. It's crazy. What are they doing? Speaking of whores, a Louisiana high school student with a 4.2 grade point average had a scholarship endorsement withdrawn

after a video of her twerking at a homecoming afterparty was posted on social media kaylee timonette 17 such a louisiana name kaylee timonette timonette 17 a senior at walker high school was removed from student government as president in the aftermath of the video which was filmed at the private events at a country club. The video, which has since been deleted, showed her dancing behind a friend. The friend was twerking at the after-hours bash

where Timonet's mother was in attendance. Timonet was called into the front office on Tuesday and reduced to tears as Principal Jason St-Pierre made her watch the video they basically told me i should be ashamed of myself and they were concerned about my afterlife if i wasn't following god's basically god's ideals which made me cry even more all i was doing was having innocent fun i was mortified jesus is this a public school or a private school? What is—it's a Catholic school.

Walker High School. No, I guess it's not. I mean, in Louisiana, I don't—yeah. Can you look that up, Chris, and see if that's public or private? No, I mean, it's Walker High School. It's in Walker, Louisiana. That's public. It's gotta be public. Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean, first of all, I mean,

I would have gotten in way more trouble if it was videos of me at a school dance and high in, in, in eighth grade. I remember none of us danced. My school was like a lot of black kids, a lot of white kids, black song came on fucking, you know, know, some earth, wind and fire. Black kids were out dancing. Stairway to Heaven came on. Black kids got off the floor. White kids got on there.

And we would dance. And I would ask Vicki Bettman to slow dance with me. And then you basically put your arms around each other. And you would just literally like put your arms around each other yeah and and and you would just literally like put your head on each other's shoulders and just it was it was just short of dry humping on the floor for until the part was and as we run on down the road and then it just ended as soon as like the drums kick in and the song takes off and then every kid just it's like cockroaches when

the lights come on we all just like dart off to the sides of the room and stop dancing walk away with your erection with your erection and your sweaty chest and you're trembling because it's the closest you've ever been to a girl in your life that would have gotten me thrown out of school she wasn't even the one twerking if you read this carefully it's so crazy and it's a public high school it is a public high school yeah what are you doing it's a it was in a private club to stay out of the person's business also if you're catholic wasn't and i've been talking about this in my act is that jesus was woke okay jesus loved prostitutes remember uh what was it mary magdalene was that the prostitute that he befriended and he was he was kind to the prostitutes and we're not saying that this

poor girl with a 4.2 grade point average is a prostitute but they're trying to call her one and because of it they're you know taking away her scholarship what would jesus do why don't they ever live by that? What would Jesus do? Also, it's a weird story. It's a scholarship endorsement. I don't know.

This high school is taking themselves way too seriously. Yeah. Imagine if you ruin this girl and all of a sudden she doesn't go to college and she's so riddled with shame and then all she does is twerk. That's all she does then. Twerking and podcasting what if it gets brought down to that uh no she won't go that low she's not gonna go as low as a podcast chris said that 35 protestant in walker louisiana so blame the baptists um let's get to some entertainment you got oh yeah

all right what is this spotify thing spotify on monday announced a new ai based feature that can translate podcasts into different languages using the host's own voice. The company said the feature relies on OpenAI's voice generation technology. The technology can create realistic, synthetic voices from just a few seconds of speech. Spotify said it will help make the podcast listening experience more authentic and natural

by maintaining podcasters distinctive speech characteristics so just think chinese people soon will also be annoyed by dennis gubbins what he say why he angry all also i wonder how it'll pronounce feinstein and uh maybe we don't we no longer have to worry about Almodovar. Right. Just take it over, please. Will the technology be

so good that it will convey the full, smug, douchiness of smartless? Will they capture it? Will they capture the name drops? Will it translate the name drops into Chinese names? Oh, yeah. Also, can it just fact check us on the fly?

Oh, that would be nice. How about that? We get rid of a whole section of your corrections. Corrections for you. Will it convert, like, say, Bill Simmons' podcast, which might be top five in the world. Will it convert, like, college basketball to cricket and badminton or whatever the fuck?

What do they play in China? What sports do they play in China? What do you mean? I mean, soccer, gymnastics, basketball. No, they make the basketballs, but do they play? Do they play with them? The Chinese, Japanese very much play baseball. do they play? Do they play with them? Japanese very much play baseball. Do Chinese play?

Are they known for baseball? That's probably a very ignorant question. I don't know. Not good, but they play. It's a judgment call. Wow, that sounds racist as opposed to everything I just said. They don't play football, but NFL's in London. NFL's international this week.

They are every week. What? The NFL. They do one game in London every week. You see, I don't even know that. Has it really gotten to that many? Yeah. I think it's every Saturday. Huh. I don't know about that.

Yeah, that's what it is. Okay. Well, I'm sure we're going to get fact-checked. I'm sure if someone's tearing their hair out right now listening to us, guess about whether the NFL's in London every week. No, that's what it is. Okay. Well, I'm sure we're going to get fact-checked. I'm sure if someone's tearing their hair out right now listening to us, guess about whether the NFL's in London every week. No, it's not a guess. They're in London every week. It's been going on for like the last two or three years. Huh.

Okay. Denman, you want to get on that? I thought it was a handful of season. They're trying to get it to catch on, and I don't know that it is. I'd be curious to know how much. Oh, it has caught on? Oh, no, no. All the Brits I worked with at Corden, it sells out.

We sent over cameras. We did a remote piece there. They are very into it. Huh. Okay. Yeah. Is this an old story about Bernie Taupin? Have we already dealt with that?

No. It's just a one-line throwaway i read that in some interview he said that everything came very quickly and that's bernie taupin describing his new memoir that he wrote that it just he wrote it very quickly oh really i have no doubt that he did I have no doubt That he didn't pause Or question a single thing That was coming out of him Right One of the greatest movies

Most underrated movies of all time Was that Dustin Hoffman Warren Beatty movie About where they're songwriters And they're caught in the Middle East And they're What the fuck was it called? Oh, wait. Oh, oh, oh.

Ava, not, Ishtar? Ishtar. So fucking funny. I've never seen it. And I always picture that's how Bernie Taupin writes songs. Just, you watch them write songs together. You know what? I'm going to watch Ishtar this week.

It was the joke, for anyone who's younger than we are. It was the go to joke about a disaster movie. I think it was because the budget was extremely high for that time. And they just Chris is saying it's 40 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. OK, so when I say handful, what does that mean to you? Like the phrase handful five. There were five NFL games this year in london yeah in five weeks what does that mean actually no i think i think one week for the whole year oh really oh i thought

it was every saturday okay no all right well that saves us a lot of mail. And they're all on Sundays. Yeah, but the time difference is Saturday there. Even though they're ahead, this is remarkable. It's remarkable how you dig in. You just keep digging. Speaking of digging, last night, Bill Maher. Oh, my God. So if you don't remember, Bill Maher got shit on by Hasan Minhaj when he,

Hasan basically said that Bill was anti-Muslim, which a lot of people have said, Andy Kindler included. So when this Hasan Minhaj story came came up i had a feeling that he would be in bills uh i think the reason why bill maher wanted to break the strike was because this hassan minaj story had broken and he wanted to attack him for it so he did he certainly did he said there he said that uh he he accused him of wanting to have racism to fight. And he says, what if, he's like, he said, Hasan is like, what if Jesse Smollett did stand up? Yeah.

The stories Mr. Minaj tells in his act to elicit sympathy for himself as a Muslim and a person of color are completely made up, for himself as a Muslim and a person of color are completely made up, leading him to believe that perhaps Muslim Americans have made more progress than some liberals might want you to believe. He said a couple of his stories are exaggerated on stage. It was more than a couple, saying, if you want to speak truth to power, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you have to include the truth part. And then he compared him to Donald Trump.

He said, how is this different than when Trump said that he saw hundreds of people cheering in Jersey City on 9-11? So he went on and on. But, yeah, he fucking slammed him. He goes, dude, America is by far from the worst place for you to be living. You're a Muslim married to a Hindu. If you were living in India, she'd have to murder you. Wow, that's going hard.

Yeah. All right. Yeah, I got it. I do want to see this. I mean, it's an interesting, you know, the New York Times spilled some ink on this, you know, on all comedians lie to a certain extent. Lies a weird word, but they embellish.

They add stuff. I never do. I would never do that ever. They also. Oh, no. Come on. They also come up with absurd premises that clearly have not happened to them. You do that.

Now, I was kidding because I just made up all that stuff about the NFL and in London. Right. Right. No, you played a little loose. You played a little loose. No, but here's what it is. Once you put yourself out as a voice of the blank, now you're going to take fire because you're not just trying to make people laugh.

You're trying to take a moral high ground on certain things, which't to say people shouldn't do political comedy or uh social commentary but when you do you better have your fucking kitchen in order because people are going to come after you for it i know and now you know it's happening everywhere now they're saying burt kreischer is not a fat alcoholic no who's saying that yes they're saying no burt's not sagara is not saying burt is definitely not saying that but there's rumors there is rumors wow by the way burt's a friend and i don't think he's an alcoholic i should have said a fat boozer that's what i should have said well i think he's sober for october right he does do that and you know that sounds all gimmicky but doctors have chimed in on that and they're like it's especially if you do drink a bunch that's a great thing to do because the liver

doesn't need that much time to almost completely heal itself no kidding yeah yeah i read something about that now i'm not a doctor but i do know that there are very positive effects when you give it some breathing room it's what's been good for my marriage, going away every other weekend for 30 years. And I wonder, like, you know, the original Sober October was Lent, and people would give things up for Lent. I wonder if that was built in. Like, if you're even European throughout the centuries and, like, you gave up drinking for Lent

or you gave up whatever vice uh that it you were able to restore yourself you know now are the priests not allowed to diddle boys for those 40 days or is that that's not part of the deal right they don't consider that a vice so that continues yeah okay why would you give that up it's that's just something good for everybody the kids are learning yeah um okay here chris dem It's just something you do. It's good for everybody. It's like breathing air. Kids are learning. Yeah. Okay, here. Chris Denman's writing something. Actually intensifies. Okay.

What's that? I don't know. Not sure. I don't know what Chris Denman is saying sometimes. Should we have him on again? I feel like we should have Denman on again this is great he's great i feel like we thought maybe he'd cover a topic or something yeah maybe we should do that yeah um he also wrote a couple stories for us today tiki torches yeah next week tiki torches

what's going on what's happened to that industry since you guys sort of abandoned it? The January 6th segment. That's good with Denman. All right, let's get to Drew Barrymore. She returned, but her head writers did not. I know. After she found herself in hot water last month, she announced that her daytime talk show would make its fourth season debut without its striking writers.

A week later, after facing backlash, she revealed she'd be reversing course and pausing until the strike was over. But now that it's over, Chelsea White, Christina Kanaan and Liz Coe, I think I know Liz Coe, have declined an offer to return with it, according to the sources. have declined an offer to return with it, according to the sources. So they are saying, well, you know what? You fucked the strike. By saying you were going to cave, you created fractures. Because then Bill Maher and everybody else thought it was okay.

So fuck you, Drew Barrymore. Die, die, die. That's not me saying that. I think that's what they're saying. Yeah. You wouldn't say that. Yeah. I don't know what to even think about this. I mean, she's just so I think a lot of people, you know what she is. She is the white. Who was the Chris will know who was the woman disaster talk show host obviously uh not white uh black i say obviously because i'm saying drew's the white version of this wendy williams i think drew is the white wendy williams where half of the draw to watch is will this person break down and cry today on the show? Yeah, yeah. And it's about a 50-50 proposition.

Oh, does she cry a lot? Oh, my God. That's all they tell you. She gets so emotional and cries, and I think she's just as crazy as Wendy Williams. Now, I hate saying that because Wendy Williams then had to give up her show, so I hope Wendy Williams is okay, and I don't mean to call her seriously crazy i'm using that

term loosely and i probably shouldn't but they're both unhinged is that better they're both unhinged and not really that grounded emotionally i think all of that is very fair to say that's disturbing because i have a meeting for that writing job next week and i I would be away from sad stuff because she's gonna cry she probably like most hosts who read your stuff they're gonna cry anyway yeah right yeah so you don't have to lean into it okay all right brew do we want to do Bruno Mars well you had to cancel his midi show between israel and because hamas and israel not getting along apparently they will not take a time out to go enjoy a bruno mars concert oh well yeah so they're so it says live nation so israel is canceling the concert it just goes to show you

they do control show business, even over there. Well, Bruno sings about heaven, right? That must be, I don't think they're all in on the heaven concept. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what's heavenly is PrizePix. It's the largest independently owned daily fantasy sports platform in North America. It's really fun.

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So I did it, and i did it for three weeks and i'm up at this point and i am not a sports i don't know people might have picked up on this i'm not real good at sports stuff uh but this one is just fun and uh and you can win big so um go to prizepix.com slash papers and use code papers for a first deposit match up to 100 wow go to prizepix.com papers use code papers for a first deposit match up to 100 and uh daily fantasy sports made easy prize picks. I'm going with Josh Allen for more than two passing touchdowns. I like it. Yep, that is solid. I'm going to be going to the Pats game on Sunday.

I'm here in New England, and they're playing New Orleans. Wow. So England against Orleans on Sunday, and I hope I have fun. Sometimes I don't enjoy being at a game live as much as I do being on my couch with my food, watching replays, you know. You're going to be in inclement weather with some of the angriest sports fans on the planet.

It'll be nice. It'll be a nice Sunday. Nice. And boy, they must be so thrilled with how things are going for their team so yep um all right let's make america florida you got it okay i picked this story because i saw the picture of the dude i I'm like, I know, I've seen that guy. So Florida man, 77, planned to sell misbranded erectile dysfunction drugs

to retirement community. Reginald Odell Kintzer of the Villages, an age-restricted community, could face time behind bars after federal prosecutors say he obtained over $1,800 in erectile dysfunction drugs without a prescription. He had a prior drug-related run-ins. And I'm like, yes.

So how do I know this? Because he was arrested in 2020 for multiple drugs, including psilocybin, marijuana, and MDMA. This is in the retirement. This is a fucking great retirement home. The Villages. this is in the retirement in the most famous fucking great retirement home the villages he was given three years probation after being found guilty so it turns out i saw this guy in the documentary called some kind of heaven no way about which is about the villages and he's there with his wife and his wife and the judge and everyone that comes around him is like lady you gotta fucking keep this guy indoors like he's losing it like he's crazy and then he would say things to the

judge and the judge would reprimand him this is in the documentary the judge would be like sir you are not to say another word i am giving you a break here and you're about to ruin it i'm about to change my mind just and the wife's like just listen to him just listen to the judge he's not going to put you you know and anyway this guy is a lunatic wow yeah and meanwhile the wife doesn't want him getting thrown in jail because she he's got the boner pills he's bringing it home he's you know the whole place all the guys are like showing up as like character witnesses no no no your honor your honor your honor please yeah let them stay out another week they're not coming out of retirement they're coming in retirement yeah it's a it's a very cool documentary

by the way oh i want to see this so is the documentary about like the dark side of not dark side but the fun side of these communities it's both no because they cover this guy too so wait and it's also is it um who did it is it uh hold on who directed it um you know we have denman for that right no lance oppenheim okay no i thought it was maybe one of the big directors but anyway i had always heard about it and it's really well shot very like Wes Anderson framing like very cute it's like you know sort of uh I don't know like dioramas you know what I mean like you know it's like it's really like he treated each composite it's a composition the way he frames it well i think it makes the original village people look kind of tame you know these these are the real village people

psilocybin boner pills yeah there was a there was a thing that they mentioned in it about uh there was huge rumors about the villages that the std rate was through the roof, but they defended themselves. But the defense was pretty funny that they're like, it turns out actually per capita, we're lower actually than the rest of Florida. I'm like, if you have to compare yourself to Florida STD rates, you are already way high. Right, right.

My mom's building, she lives in florida and uh it's not i guess it's like the villages it's not you know it's not assisted living it's just old people everything that moves there doesn't hey now hey now uh but they're they're all on pot they all uh have met because i think in florida it's still medicinal I don't think it's legal yet which is crazy because I think they smoke same thing yeah so but she says everybody everybody is just on weed all the time down there wait I think Texas I think Texas believe it or not and they're all like what is happening like Austin can't believe it I think Texas, believe it or not, and they're all like, what is happening? Like Austin can't believe it. I think Texas might also be restricted.

For weed? Yeah. I think, I think. Yeah. Texas is not legal yet, says Chris Knows. No, none of the deep South, Florida, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, none of them are and here's my theory on that is that you know drugs drugs pot makes you kind of lazy a little bit dumb paranoid and i think those states are just like nah we're good they're already there i think we're already there i think we're already baked i don't know though i think if more

people were stoned in florida they'd like they'd be warming up the motorcycle and be like, you know, I should wear a helmet, I think. It would feel cozy and I'd feel a little safer. Yeah, and I'd embrace my fellow man, no matter what his skin color or sexual orientation. I'd think he was beautiful. I'd hide my eyes a little bit. Maybe the cop wouldn't realize I'm totally baked out of my head.

Yeah. Let's make Australia Florida. An elderly man in Australia has died after being bitten by a snake as he tried to uncoil it from his friend's leg. The tragic incident happened on Saturday when two men were attending the state school 100 year celebrations in Queensland. When the 69 year old spotted a snake curled around his friend's ankle, he tried to remove it but was bitten by the reptile multiple times. After being

bitten several times on the chest and arm, he went into cardiac arrest. Despite several attempts by paramedics and other attendees to revive him, he died at the scene. Okay, let me tell you something, Greg. You have a snake. We're both 70. You have a snake around your leg. First of all, I wish you so much luck. But let's say you really panicked and you begged me to take it off you.

I would. After the first bite, I'm out. Yeah. Right. I mean what now it reminds me of that old uh that joke about um the Lone Ranger and Tonto yeah and you know this joke right I love it so Tonto gets uh or the Lone Ranger gets bitten on his cock by a snake and uh and it starts to swell and he says uh tanto quick go to town talk to the doctor save me so tanto gets on his horse he rides into town he finds the doctor he says uh doctor uh kimosabe uh bit on penis by snake is uh swelling what what do i do and so the doctor says well you have to uh you have to suck out

all the venom and spit it out tie it with a tourniquet and he should be okay and so tanto gets on his horse he rides back out and uh and the lone ranger says uh tanto what did the doctor say and he said doctors say you're going to die, Kimo Sabe. Yep. It's so good. I've only seen, this is going to sound crazy, in the wild,

I have seen one snake in my entire life, and it was at Yosemite, and I saw a rattlesnake, and he had the tail of a squirrel coming out of its mouth. What? It had literally just eaten the squirrel. And he was underneath the tree. On the floor of Yosemite or like up on a trail?

No, like in a field near the tents. Not far from the tents. It was a field with some trees. And it was underneath a tree. And yeah. And it just kind of slithered away with the tail coming out of its mouth. How many people saw it? Probably a dozen.

Probably 3,000. 1,500 Asian tourists with cameras just... Yeah, because now you're not afraid of the snake. He can't bite you. He's got a fucking tail coming out of his mouth. Yeah, go up and fuck with it. All right. I've seen so many snakes, but rattlesnakes are the coolest in the world.

It's like, warning, I'm over here. It's like, thank you. Why don't you tell all your fucking sneaky friends to get a rattle? Wait, what snakes have you seen? Oh, my God. I mean, tons. I mean, we had rattlesnakes where I went to high school. They were the, what are they called?

The Appalachian or something rattlesnake, which they have a rattle, but it doesn't make noise. So that sucked. Yeah. I'm forgetting their name. It's not Appalachian. There's a there's a name for the Northeastern rattlesnake. Anyway, in Florida at my at my grandmother's house, which was in like Coral Gables and all around Tampa. She had a bunch of different houses.

I mean, she would move. And water moccasins were fucking everywhere. Those are deadly, right? Oh, totally. No, also, I'd go out to like mow the lawn. And when I'd move, I'd push the mower. Big snake just coiled up under it. There'd be snakes under the car.

But also, I see snakes when I hike. I've seen snakes, a rattlesnake in la hiking um olivia was over a friend's house in topanga and i pick her up she said we ate rattlesnake today i'm like what so the dog would find not by design the dog would start freaking out barking and you'd hear the rattle and the dad killed one of them and uh grilled how'd the dad kill it with a shotgun. Really? Yeah.

This is right in Topanga. Topanga is pretty wild. Damn. But Jeff and I also in the Grand Canyon, we went out looking for a rattlesnake once. We were rafting the river. And then we camp on the banks. It was organized. But we decided, the two idiots, to go.

And boy, we found one. You did. Yeah, but again, if you make noise as you're going up. By the way, I just played Rustic this week, two days ago with Dennis. Anyway, when you go looking for a golf ball, you make sure you make noise. There's rattlesnakes at Rustic. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So you clap anything usually they they can they can feel your your uh your foot i want to say footprints but you know your steps they could feel your steps from pretty far away holy shit that's crazy yeah that's right timber a timber rattlesnake that's what it is that's what they were on our campus. We weren't allowed to go hiking when it was breeding season, I think. And I think another window in the spring when they gave birth to the little bastards. By the way, the babies are the most poisonous. Yes, because they can't control the amount of venom they they shoot out. Let's do some sports. I got some routines. Yeah, sports.

Okay, I'm really way behind on the Olympics. Break dancing is going to be an Olympic sport. The sport, which will officially go by the name breaking, like breaking my will to watch the Olympics, it's going to make its debut at the 2024 Summer Games in Paris. It's part of an International Olympic Committee's efforts in recent years to attract younger viewers with globally popular subculture based events like skateboarding bmx rock climbing uh smash and grabbing stores spray painting spray painting all of which made their first official appearances those other ones at the last summer games in Tokyo. So in breaking competitions, pairs of dancers face off in battles. This sounds terrible. And they're going to be adapting their moves in

response to music selected, mixed, and scratched by a DJ. One dancer will have a performance and then the other one will try to outdo them in some way. Viewers will see dancers facing off against each other doing rounds against each other. I can't even read the rest of the story. This sounds horrible. It sounds horrible and you know

it's an American thing. It's one of those things you see other people do. Like when you see like Germans try to do rock when you see like uh germans try to do rock and you just go like cute like is this a karaoke this is this is awful you know and and the break dancing forgetting about scorpions oh that's true yeah and you're forgetting about metallica right romstein, as Chris just wrote.

Yeah. Wasn't the guy from Metallica from Germany? Oh, no. Where was he from? The guitar player from Metallica? Lars, right? Lars. I don't know.

But when I was, I was a breakdancer. I'm not going to lie to you. I'll tell full disclosure. I did gymnastics. I did gymnastics from when i was about from when i was about six to twelve but i did it a lot and i was pretty good i was so lars is from denmark um and so i used to go to nightclubs i'd go to like the val the valhalla inn which was next to tarry town and they would play the art of noise or um uh what were the other songs we used to dance to? What, early on?

I'd spin around on my back and I would do pops. Oh, no. Yep. And I would do back flips and I would do the worm and all that shit. And let me tell you something. I got laid. Breakdancing got me laid. And then I went to Ireland and i was traveling around ireland

with my buddy and i would break dance in these they would have discotheques every town in ireland has a little they called it a discotheque back in the 80s and they would play this music and all of a sudden here's this kid who's from new york they didn't know it wasn't the bronx they didn't know it was tarry town but i'm'm from New York and I'm breakdancing. You didn't know you were traveling around Europe with a piece of cardboard or linoleum flooring. And I would get laid in Ireland. And so

I'm all for it. I'm behind this a thousand percent. And here are my two little friends, these black guys who play drums on industrial paint cans. Say hello to my little friends uh you want to look up something almost as disturbing as that story one of the first times uh vin diesel was ever on videotape was he was a break dancer you can look that up on youtube have fun with it i believe tupac was also a break dancer uh yeah uh he gets i mean he's he then had a giant career in hip-hop he gets a little bit of

a pass vin diesel yeah yeah all right philadelphia a A Phillies fan was denied entrance to watch Philadelphia host Pittsburgh when he tried to enter with his emotional support animal. What was that? Oh, an alligator named Wally Gator. Social media posts showed the gator on a leash with a harness with his name on it outside the stadium Wednesday. Wally Gator is a working emotional support alligator owned by Joey Henney of Jonestown. The reptile has a big presence on Instagram and TikTok. Henney spoke to Philadelphia

Inquirer last year and said that Wally Gator helps him battle depression and that he likes to give hugs, which everyone in Philadelphia needs. Everyone in Philly is battling depression and all of them need hugs. And he said that the Gator had never bitten anyone. So Citizens Bank Park's policy on support animals is posted on the Philly's official website. It states, animals is posted on the Phillies official website. It states guide dogs, service animals or service animals in training are welcome. All other animals are prohibited.

That's not exactly accurate is about 52,000 animals go in there every fucking game. I don't know why, but they showed it. Imagine emotional, emotional support alligator. Well, you know, maybe for some people, the depression is so bad that being scared to death is the only thing that makes them feel alive. I can see that. Yeah.

Kind of snaps you out of your depression a little bit. Get in bed, do a little death roll, get you in the mood to sleep. Right, right. And then I saw this story, which is not sports, but nine alligators were rescued from a Pennsylvania home after a neighbor found one on his porch. We don't really have to do this whole story, but there was a neighbor who had 10 alligators,

and then one, all of a sudden a guy had to call the guy the neighbors all knew each other and he's like dude do not go out your front door there's an alligator on your porch wait so you can can alligators be tamed can they get to the point where they're not going to attack you if you feed them regularly i think it's one of the classic examples kind of like a bear but i guess bears are a thing even more trainable but like at any point instinct can kick in right i mean look at pit bulls i know people i know pit bulls are great no i'm just telling you i read stories about many letters don't do it don't don't oh my god it's like at a certain point you got to like, look, if only one tenth of one percent of pit bulls kill babies, that's too many. Yeah. Well, meanwhile, Biden's German shepherd can't stop biting Secret Service.

Is that true? Yeah, it was. It's been kicked out. Biden's Biden's German shepherd is no longer in the White House. They're trying to figure out what to do with it. When are they going to tell Joe? When are they going to tell Joe? He's been petting a rug for the last half an hour. Just whistling down the hallway, clapping, bent over

almost like for a cat. Half the time he thinks it's a cat let's cut down to this day in history you got it pal here we go on october 28th 2009 two people die and more than a dozen are hospitalized following a botched sweat lodge ceremony at a retreat run by motivational speaker and author James Arthur Ray. I remember this. Near Sedona. A third participant died nine days later.

It was part of a spiritual warrior event held at a rented retreat center. The people paid $9,000. uh they they people paid nine thousand dollars and this guy ray who was raised in oklahoma was known for books such as harmonic wealth the secret to attracting the life you want had appeared on oprah his sweat lodge ceremony modeled after a native american custom intended to purify the body and spirit was held in a wood frame structure covered with tarpulins and blankets inside the enclosed space water was poured over heated rocks to create steam and the temperature became dangerously high causing many of the more than 50 participants who had been encouraged to fast for 36 hours prior to the event

yeah people rich people are fucking crazy do you know that just you just tell them that you'll put them in pain and make them uncomfortable and it costs a lot of money and they're in so people were trying to leave he was they were disoriented he encouraged them to stay inside to face their personal challenges um people died from heat stroke and a bunch were hospitalized for dehydration so he was indicted on manslaughter charges oh my when his case went to trial though the prosecution argued that the self-help guru had acted carelessly and shown no regard for the people who got sick the defense claimed the participants were free to leave What? There was a four-month trial, and so they said that other people at previous ones had also gotten sick from this.

But other people at previous ones had also gotten sick from this. So he was sentenced to three two-year prison terms and had to pay $57,000 in restitution. That seems light. Well, read the next line. He was released on supervision on July 12, 2013. So he served two years. Yep. Maybe even even less he was found guilty in june yeah so uh huh isn't it amazing though that there's always an appetite for this kind of stuff of like people that will tell you there's been thousands of years of therapy, philosophy, self-help, religion, spirituality.

And we've figured some stuff out. But there's always going to be the guy that just had a book come out on Oprah that's now really figured it out. And you're going to pay $9,000 and go into uncertain conditions because you believe in this one person so much. conditions because you believe in this one person so much that you'll you'll put yourself in bodily harm because you think it's going to bring you to a better place too bad he didn't have a guru like you know no no stay in prison take it as a personal challenge i know i know you're you're being torn up and you're raped constantly but yeah stay there You've only been in two years Stay You got four more Push back When he's fucking you

Push back into it Look within yourself You'll find that strength Just stay there Pay your dues Look him in the eye When you're blowing him Look him right in the eyes

Alright let's get to an obituary A sweat cell Obituary And that's all folks All right, let's get to an obituary. A sweat cell. Obituary. And that's all, folks. All right. This is you. Oh, I put it in there, but yeah, you're usually obituary, guys.

Sure, Dick Butkus, man. Fearsome Hall of Fame linebacker. Died at 80. Dick Butkus, the Chicago Bears' famously hard-hitting Hall of Fame middle linebacker of the 1960s and 70s and a selection for the NFL's 100th anniversary all-time team. Died on Thursday in his home in Malibu, California. He was 80. At 6 feet 3 inches and 245 pounds, which is a good size for his era,

Butkus stuffed running plays up the middle. He also was speedy and mobile enough to drop back and foil opponents' pass plays. He was cited. All right, so they go on about his stats. And then Sacks didn't become an official statistic. I didn't know this until 1982. So the number of times that Butkus smothered the opposing quarterbacks remains unrecorded. But he was considered to have intercepted 20, blah blah blah um get this though i thought this was

interesting it's a quote by him when i went out on the field to warm up i would manufacture things to make me mad butkus was quoted as saying uh by the hall of, if someone on the other team was laughing, I'd pretend he was laughing at me or the Bears, and it always worked. Interesting. But it reminds me, you know, the more documentaries you see on these superstars and these super-driven athletes, like remember the last dance

about Michael Jordan and the Bulls? He did that. he'd create beefs he'd create these these heated things that sometimes weren't there just so he could turn it up well look at curios when he plays tennis you know he literally yells at his own box he yells at the line judges he yells at the other. And none of it's ever real, but I guess it's what gets him going. But meanwhile, if he's imagining the other team is laughing at him, his name is Dick Buttkiss. It's entirely possible they were laughing at him.

It's the greatest football name, though. It is. I know. It can't possibly have more hard consonants. Yeah. It's like, and it's like, that's why comedians, they love the name so much. Dick Butkus.

Are you kidding me? Yeah. Yeah. Duh, bears. All right, let's cheer up a little bit after that one. Yeah, okay. Let's get to the funnies. Oh.

Although Butkus deserves more than that. He fearsome yeah he was a character too big personality um so hagger is with his son you don't see hagger and his son together very much i never saw that no he he kept one it's it's very odd i, maybe he's not his son because he literally never it's always him and Helga home alone. Maybe there's a camp for kids or something. So the kid says to Hager, they're sitting on a park bench, which I guess they had in the medieval days. He goes, do you believe in peace? And Hager goes, absolutely. He goes, I always ask my enemies to surrender peacefully. And when he says enemies we're talking

about rape here yeah all right second one um hagger has a a sack full of loot over his shoulder and there's a maiden in distress and she's in the castle so you just know what's about to happen and she goes you promised you would raid the castle without cruelty and then in the second frame you see that his uh his warriors are making fun of the king's uh suit jacket and laughing and he goes knock it off olsen and i think uh if i'm her i'd i'd let it rest i don't get that one i'd let it rest i don't get that one well the cruelty is that they're making fun of the king's wardrobe not that they're raping her oh not that they're raping her yeah that's like the uh up above the sir i always ask them to i

always ask them to just consent yeah right it's like do you believe in sex without raping daddy absolutely i always ask them to consent all right this far side is one of my favorites i've ever seen i never saw this one before okay so yeah get this i didn't know there i found this article about farides where he would be in the world. His sandbox was other comics where he was aware of other comics. And there's like six that he did about the Peanuts. And I had no idea. So I found this one. This one, there's just no caption or anything.

It's a fight. It's like, you know, a World War I-like fighter, a jet fighter. And he's standing in front of his airplane. And the airplane, like they used to do, they used to put down and designate how many other planes, enemy planes, they shot down. And so they'd have drawings of them. And so you see the icon of one two three there's four planes and then the fifth icon is snoopy flying on his doghouse with the scarf waving behind him the world war one flying eighth was it world war one or world war two i'm imagining it has to be

one okay is it two i don't know. World War I was 1918. I guess there were rudimentary planes back then, right? Well, let me look up the Red Baron. Wasn't he the most famous? Yeah, I think you're right. I think, imagine just, I mean, obviously there's films about it, but imagine they should do a modern film where they depict World War I flying aces. That would be badass. The Red Baron. Oh, yeah, it was based on the Red Baron. Yeah, they're all World War I flying aces. That would be badass. The Red Baron.

Oh, yeah, it was based on the Red Baron. Yeah, they're all World War I. But he, I mean, that's a big, I mean, when that was in the paper, four inches away from the peanut strip, and this guy who's very carefully walking away, what does he have in his hand? The paintbrush. Oh, he just painted on there, cool as a cucumber, he just killed Snoopy.

It's amazing. I love it. There was another one, I'll put it in next week. There's another one that's even darker that he puts in. I'll do that one next week. There's also a a woman named blondie

who's standing at the well i'm just gonna do the second one um okay so blondie's in bed reading a magazine they know it was good for a magazine and him a book like somehow he's the fucking intellect in the couple so she's reading a magazine he's got donut pajamas on and she goes i know how you load the relationship survey, so I took one for us. And he goes, oh, no, those things are trouble. And then she goes, not always. Here's the assessment. Your husband is amazing.

He loves you and appreciates you, especially when you make your perfect pot roast. And he goes, whoa, I think I'm starting to like these surveys. And then she goes, there may be a pot roast in he goes whoa i think i'm starting to like these surveys and then she goes there may be a pot roast in your future and then they do a big kiss and it's like all right so so this woman who's wearing a a a fucking pink uh sleeve now one sleeve is on one is off on the negligee the hair is done for bed he has full access to her and it requires a pot roast to get him interested and that makes her so happy that she gives him a kiss i mean what kind of marriage is this mike i'm saying I think pot roast is code for her honey pot. Oh, I see. Yeah, and she sees some in his future.

She's presenting. And he doesn't get it. And as soon as he finds out it's her crazy delicious pussy, he's going to be like, wait, what? What a bait and switch. This is terrible. So when you said gravy, you meant like your sauces, your dipping sauce, your vaginal secretions? It's not a slaughtered animal that's in the oven.

Oh. And your tits are mashed potatoes. That's no good. Oh, I see what you did now, but it's just no. You can't do that. You can't get my hopes up like that and then dash them. I'll leave you, Blondie. I swear to God.

That's my fantasy. That's the fourth frame. He fucking leaves her. Pot roasting quotes. What a daffy bitch. I'm out of here. Speaking of daffy bitches, we want to thank Chris Denman for his help today with the podcast. He was the best. I'm sorry if my energy

Was low today I'm so Fucking worn out And jet lagged But We tried though We tried Listen to me

Someone's cooking inside of me I don't know what it is But I'm going out on the town And spreading COVID everywhere I may have COVID now I gotta I gotta go to CVS right now And get a test

Everybody Now hold on Hold on. Tell me what's in your future. What's tonight? Alright, so tonight I'm getting picked up by Steve Bjork, an old comedy buddy of mine. He's going to take me to Nashua to do another show. And then I'll

sleep here in Manchester. In the morning I'll go to the stadium, Gillette Stadium, and watch the Patriots game. And then that night, there's actually a comedy club in the area of Gillette Stadium. It's like there's like a little mall that's part of the stadium. And I'm doing a show there. Oh, no, it's a big mall. The stadium is a mall.

Oh, no, it's not inside the mall. It's just across the street. There's a thing called Patriots Park or something. And I'm doing a show there. And then i will go back into the city i into boston meet up with my billionaire friends and john tobin who who owns the com laugh laugh boston and then i'll get on a flight at 7 a.m the next day sleep hopefully the whole time and be back in la.A. on Monday. Okay, so here's my question. You're going to CVS now.

You test it, and there's two strips, and it's confirmed you have COVID. What happens? I have to rent a hotel room in Manchester for three days and isolate. And everything's canceled. Yeah. Yeah, I have to cancel everything. Even though it's not the right reaction, I think a lot of listeners are like,

don't go by the test. Just ignore it. Well, you don't know what you're ignoring, I guess. But yeah. No, I couldn't do that. I wouldn't want to spread it to people. You know. No, that's a great response.

That is the appropriate thing. I just wanted to hear your thinking on it. Yeah. By the way, I'm playing at a place called the Comedy Scene at Patriot Place in case people want to come down tonight to the show. Well, when do you update people that you're not going? I will put it out on social media in one hour all right i actually i'm interested i want to see this yeah okay what do you got planned what's your weekend i think well i think i was telling the truth i'm watching game time i think i might go down and see the play

tonight uh at basically la's version of lincoln, which is the Amundsen Theater in that area. And then Stop Making Sense tomorrow night with Livvy Bivvy and maybe your kids. Yeah. I'm going to hit them up and tell them to reach out to you. God, they're both so busy all the time. It's fucking annoying. I never see my kids. Wait.

Why am I going to bring COVID kids to this movie? Good point. both so busy all the time it's fucking annoying i never see how how wait why am i gonna bring covid kids to this movie good that does that does not make sense well aaron has stayed in the bedroom since she got it she's she's quarantined in the bedroom so they haven't been around her all right if they're still feeling good um all right sounds good man well listen i wish you luck on the covid test i hope you don't have it. Yeah, that'd be nice. I feel pretty good. I don't think I have it. Good. I love it. All right. Thank you guys. Take it. Take it. Bye bye. Bye bye. of the show. A coffee and an Adderall. Come on, let's go. Sunday Paper

Podcast with Greg and Mike.