Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 203 2/11/24

Episode Date: February 11, 2024

Super Bowl Sunday is here and you can make your picks at FITZDOG .COM and win a Cookie! Stories from the Grammy’s parties, armageddon in LA, and how the Boomers are draining the economy.

One, two, three, four. Sunday paper, we eat everything on Sunday. Jazz Sunday, that's all for the week. Jazz on Sunday. Three, two, one, and we are off to the races. Read all about it! Read all about it. There we go. We're drowning in LA.

Oh my God. My dad. All right. Who? The amount of people contacting us from out of town. Yeah. Because of the media. Right.

My dad basically kept checking to see if my sister and i were alive i'm like i'm like i had to pause the tv i'm like i don't even hear it raining i think it's i think because we're i mean new york gets a fair amount of rain i grew up with intense rain yeah and this this shit didn't phase me at all except all right so here's one thing that happened so i don't really hear that much rain, but Olivia comes in and she was driving. She goes, I couldn't even see. I'm like, really? Because normally I hear it on the roof.

And so I come into the bathroom. This is Monday, day one, like full day one of craziness. And a drip is coming out of the light above the sink. So that's always like, oh man, turn that light off fast as you can. And I'm like, all right, what's going on? And there's a roof deck above it. I go up to the roof deck. I'm about to step out. I stop. There is, I am not kidding you. There is six inches of water and the deck is probably 20 by 12. That's a swimming pool. And I, and I, before I stepped out, there is, and leaves got, I have a little, like a shitty struggling lemon tree up there. Leaves got blown off and covered the drain

and it doesn't have the drain you know how some drains come up a little yeah they're not they're not flat well they're that way for a goddamn reason and anyway this one's flat like the one in your bathtub so i before i stepped out i'm like i i can't even imagine how much it weighed and i'm like if i step out there am i just gonna go flying down through my bathroom? And so I went out, I cleared the drain. Even though it formed a funnel, like it was draining so quickly, it took forever to drain. Did you wear sneakers or were you barefoot? I had these, what I thought were waterproof Timberlands on.

Turns out one of them not waterproof at all. And they also went up and over the other one towards the end. So anyway, then I look and Brentwood got nine inches of rain, I think before Tuesday. I mean, that's an insane amount of rain. There was a foot before last night. And then last night they said, yeah, there's going to be a little bit more tonight.

And then last night was, I think, the most intense rain we've had it was the loudest yeah that was crazy but um yeah i mean the uh we'll talk about it later we have a story about it but um no i can't handle it i got a lot of people my mom didn't reach out my mom never reaches out. Just giving up on me. Old people in Florida, I mean, this is their bread and butter. I can't believe that. I know. So happy Super Bowl Sunday. We're going to make our wagers later.

We got some bets we're going to place. I'm thanking you for doing this on a Thursday, by the way, because I got the itch. I'm waking up. I'm going to bed any minute now because I'm waking up at four and driving up to Mammoth to enjoy some of the moisture, the snow. What is that, like six hours? No, especially at that hour, it'll be closer to four than five, I think. Wow. So you'll be on the slopes by 9am. That's the goal. And then ski all day. You got a place to stay and then you're going to ski the next day.

Yeah, that's the idea. And then drive home, which, which is going to take some, which is going to take some Adderall that drive. Jesus Christ. And yeah. What's the rush? Well, there's, there's hardly, there's hardly any rooms there was a room friday night uh there's a room friday night and in that place no room saturday night damn yeah all right but but also i want to get back super bowls that day i already committed to watching it at penmar

yeah mikey keeps talking to me about that but I don't my last experience watching the game I watched the playoffs and there was like a dozen hungover girls drinking fucking mimosas talking about Taylor Swift I couldn't even hear the game I don't need I want to sit I want to hear what these jocks I want to hear what the guys used to beat me up in high school have to say about the other guys that beat me up in high school I loved it because full Philly fans were there last year. I mean, Penmore is kind of a Philly bar. Yeah, it is. There's a lot of Philly people there. And I love it when they lose. Yeah. They're such good losers. They're not even good winners. They riot when they win too, right? They're just angry people. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I have to tread lightly because my agent's trying to get a date from Philly right now. So I love Philly. Love the people. Yeah. They're great. We had the Grammys this past Sunday. And you went, did you go to a party or a concert?

I went to a show. So Americana, which is a category, Americana, Jason Isbell won it, our boy. He's also getting, I think I put it in there, he's getting divorced. Jason Isbell? No way! Yeah, he filed for divorce. He just did that documentary showing how important she was to his life. Well, they also showed Struggle on that. Remember he was at a hotel for part of it? Yeah. I don't know what i'm talking about but she seems to you know like a live wire put it that way she seems she seems yeah it's gonna be the name of his new album um and uh i think it's an acdc title actually is it live on i forget anyway um, so anyway, I saw him, he was there. So Americana, which is kind of, you know, the, the country that everybody's listening to, you know, a lot of it is in there, you know, Tyler Childers and all that.

It's like the original country. Kind of. Yeah. And it's like folk also a big part of focus in it. So Americana does this tribute every year. This year was to Paul Simon. And so it was, I wish there were more events like this.

It was 22 artists. You come out, you do one song. There's no downtime. They had it down. And so like, and they're all Paul Simon songs, all Paul Simon songs.

Isbell was like the second one out of the gate. I mean, Dwight Yoakam was later, uh, Jackson Brown. Um, songs all paul simon songs isbell was like the second one out of the gate i mean dwight yocum was later uh jackson brown um uh poe i'm forgetting their names these two sisters won't play slide guitar they killed it oh that's incredible oh no no it was it was great uh it was really good and so um yeah so that's what and the introduction to Jackson Brown, because when I saw he was on the list, I'm like, oh man, I'm seeing Jackson Brown. It was at the Troubadour. And I'm like, I'm seeing him at the Troubadour. And for those of you that don't know,

there is a giant chapter in music history at the Troubadour. It's Linda Ronstadt, the Eagles, Jackson Brown. And then it was such a big thing. That's where Elton played when he came to town. But the intro to Jackson Brown was, here's a guy who's had the keys to this place since he was 17. Wow. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Yeah.

I went to a Grammy viewing party. I saw the social media and it looked great. So I go, I bought our good our, our good friend, Tom, and we ate a handful of mushrooms as we walked in. And, uh, it was just, you know, every single dude without exception had on black jeans and goofy shoes. That's the thing with rock and roll. You got to have goofy Jeff Ross ross looking shoes and and then uh the women were all like bras were checked at the door illegal to own a bra at this gathering and a lot of tattoos a lot of everybody was sexy and i sit down at my table

and i look at the the name tag at the place setting next to me, because you have your name at your place setting, Caitlyn Jenner. I'm like, yes! Yes! This is going to make up for the time I was going to play golf with OJ Simpson before my friend said he wouldn't play with him. We got paired up at a public course. He said, no, this is going to make up for it.

So she doesn't fucking show up. Oh. Yeah. Why? It was such a huge year for women as we'll talk about later like why wouldn't you why wouldn't you have been there but i had a great table um bob saget's widow was there and uh i sat next to this amazing woman named uh marcia stephanie uh forget her last name but uh she's from j Jamaica. She lives in Costa Rica. And you ever like, just, you ever meet somebody at something like this and you just fucking bond. I sat part of it. I was on mushrooms, but we talked, we were there for six hours. We got there

at four o'clock and we left it more than six hours, maybe seven. And, uh, I must've talked to her for three of those hours. Like, like intimately talking. It was, she was amazing. Oh, she looked at, I saw it on social. Tom kept taking also Tom. I keep saying social media, but Tom also would send pictures to the text chain. Yeah. Which I'm sure my wife loved seeing me with this beautiful woman. Were you on her lap at one point? At point we're practically but it was no it was all very innocent she's married and uh we talked about her kids showed pictures but it was no it was a it was a spiritual meeting of the minds and uh and then you know all the comedians were at this one table in the middle we weren't at the comedian table but it was tiffany haddish and burr and uh nicky glazer and a bunch of comics that you know and then uh fucking black crows who

were on my bucket list of bands that i need to see in my life they came out let me tell you something chris robinson is one of the great front mans in rock history he is a fucking badass and he's his voice is a hundred percent the band sounded amazing they played all the songs he wanted them to play uh the dance floor i mean it's just a kind of a baller move to go up in front of a bunch of rock stars oh and be the band that plays at their at their best i think they're like the american faces and he's very much like rod stewart uh when he's when he's bringing his a-game you know what i mean no i remember him saying that the faces was like their main influence oh really yeah yeah yeah i didn't even know that yeah southern rock and the faces

and so uh i told you the time uh our great friend john sorelli hired me he worked for like the some newspaper in jersey anyway they were playing a place and he goes, dude, you love the black crows. I'm like, yeah. And they only had, they had that album out anyway, maybe it was their second album. So he goes, uh, bring your camera and you could get a press pass. And he goes in the press, this is how the press pass works. You're up with the photographers. You get to be in the pit. I think, for the first two songs. Then you just become a civilian. I'm like, oh, my God, what a dream. So I get out there.

I get my camera. And, you know, I'm keeping in mind, it's kind of like when Pete Scott had us hold the speed guns at the World Series. It's like, but that got us into the World Series at Yankee Stadium. It's like, okay, but I also can't drop the ball on the one thing I'm here for. So I'm reminding myself of that. And all of a sudden, the opening notes were like, and it was their fucking giant song. And I was slack jawed. And he just ran towards the microphone, like the clash just ran towards the microphone and they started their first song. And I swear to God, I was a minute in before I realized I had to take it a single photo.

I was literally starstruck. Melody. That's what they, they closed with Melody, that song. Oh my God. Imagine, and they opened with it when I saw it. Those are the first notes. I couldn't focus on anything. And the greatest thing was they had a couple of new songs

and there were these- No, Remedy, Remedy. Remedy, I mean, yeah. You just saved me a lot of emails. And there was these girls in their 20s that were singing the words to their new songs. I was like, yeah, these guys are still fucking... It was great. And then the best part is we got served this great dinner.

They had Kobe beef. And then five hours in, you're starving. And all of a sudden, 30 waiters come running out with In-N-Out burgers. Wow. Yeah. It was great. In LA, you'd save so much money if you were a charity. If you were like, do you want the chicken, salmon, or out like yeah everyone's going right um and uh oh and also i you stumped me

last week or somebody did talking i did you bring up pegging yeah i sure did okay i legitimately had no idea what it was. So, of course, I Googled it right after we finished the show and mixed on that one. You got mixed reviews? I don't know that I'm down for it. I definitely don't like watching it. I'll tell you that. Okay. But I have to say, you get one life. You get one trip around this fucking ball of cheese to try everything.

Would you, in a wild night, try pegging? I don't think so. And wait a minute. I really, for the listeners who did not listen last week, I'm not like this pro pegging guy. There was a story with the word legging in it. And I made a word play and I put pegging in there was a story with the word legging in it and i made a word play and i put pegging in it right and you were like what's pegging and that's how this got started it's not like me recommending a band to greg that i love um so pegging is not my thing

never done it and and you just said like i don't like watching it i don't think i've ever i've never watched it yeah i want i literally i got the point very quickly and i think i watched about nine seconds of the video i was like i got pegging um i don't think it would ever happen to me i certainly wouldn't ask for it to happen but who knows valentine days is coming up valentine's day and uh we we have a promotion we're gonna to read later, and maybe we'll get into that. Yeah, if you slipped and fell on something, things happen. You don't know what happens on Valentine's Day. So speaking of the emergency room, JoJo comes home the other day. She sleeps all fucking day. She's holding her stomach. JoJo comes home the other day.

She sleeps all fucking day. She's holding her stomach. It's getting worse and worse. And Aaron does not want her going to bed because Aaron had an appendectomy about four years ago. Oh, I didn't know. An emergency appendectomy. I don't know if you remember that. No.

Yeah, so she was worried about it. So we went to the ER. We went to St. John's emergency room, which, by the way, it was a Sunday night. No, Monday night, maybe. Yeah. Monday night. Porn.

It was at the height of the storm. And we get, we get to the ER, you go in and it is just like, you immediately go like, oh yeah, I get why there was a TV show that was a hit for a decade called ER and longer. Hell, ER was probably on the air 20 years or something. You just, there is a story over there there's a story over here there's another one coming in the door um you know pegging tragedy in the corner there is a guy just in a fetal position crying saying can't get unpegged he's singing peggy sue and uh and so so we get her and it wasn't bad we got her in pretty we were in and out of there in like three or four hours,

which isn't bad for an emergency room. We showed up at midnight. And so we go in, a million questions. They poke around. They start to ask her questions while I'm in the examining room, which she's 20, and I'm like, don't ask personal questions right now, please. Right. And so they send her in for a scan, comes out.

And then she says to her, now, what about diet? What have you eaten today? She's like, I had like a bite of yogurt. And she's like, and what about last night? She's like, well, at like three in the morning, I had Carl's Jr. And I'm like, there's $1,200. Well, at like three in the morning, I had Carl's Jr. And I'm like, there's 1200 bucks.

This is where I thought this story was going to end. Did you eat a fetus? Did you eat a viable fetus? Really? Yeah. No. I mean, her stomach was still upset the next day. So, yeah. I mean, her friends ate it.

They weren't upset by it. But Carl's fucking Junior, are you kidding me? There's no other options? I'm with her, man. Sometimes I would do that over McDonald's, I think. No. Yeah, there's one by the 10 in Santa Monica. I've gone there 24 hours.

I thought Carl's Jr. was the bottom feeder of all fast foods. What's the worst? Oh, am I thinking of Carl's Jr.? No, I'm thinking, is it Jack? What's the- Jack in the Box. Oh, yeah, Jack in the Box is even worse than Carl's Jr. Yeah, I think it might be below it.

Maybe that's the one I go to. Yeah, okay. So anyway, that was a fun fun night i can't wait to get the bill oh no all right well so um we got uh an email from somebody he said two thanks he first all, he posted a picture of you and it was a picture of you being caught. Oh, that one. Speeding. And I think, do you use it in your social media as your profile? You know what happened is I never go to IMDb and I went there and like, I realized my last two jobs aren't on there and maybe that'll help matters in my career. So what I did is I added two jobs and then I've never had a picture on IMDb. For those that don't know, IMDb is internet movie

database. It's basically the LinkedIn for entertainment and it is that. And so you see credits, there's contact info and all that. So I never had a photo on there. And I'm like, and I was so like, I hate this business. And I'm like, so I took my red light camera, my red light camera police photo and put that as my photo. It's actually not that bad of a shot. Yeah.

I think it's kind of good. I love it. kind of good. I love it. Um, so somebody wrote, so anyway, we have shifted some duties, uh, on the show.

Mike has assumed the mantle of replying to people on YouTube. I'm a man of the people. He's, he's, and so, uh, people don't know though, because 12 Kiwi 67 is your handle.

Yeah. I don't know what that is, but I do know. Nobody else does. Everybody, I went on there and I didn't even know it was you until I was like, who the fuck is this guy that keeps replying to everybody? So I went on, I replied to everybody and I didn't realize I was in a different Google because there's Gibbons time. Right.

And then, which is my, uh, you know, my handle on Instagram and stuff. So, which I, I've given, I don't even think Gibbons time is an email. I mean, maybe it is, it's never been activated, but I do have another one. And I went on to sign on for a Google, a Gmail account, which is the email address I give to every company when I'm shopping. It's basically, I treat it as junk mail. Wait, that's the one you gave me. Exactly.

I'll see it. I'll see it like once a year, I'll see it. And so, but it doesn't have the numbers. It's 12 Kiwis, doesn't have the numbers. So that's, what's confusing confusing me i don't know what that is but anyway to answer your question i went on didn't realize like which uh which um google account i was in when i answered the youtube comments and it was that one i didn't realize all right so people are very confused uh yeah and And then, yeah, we got some koozies left.

How many we got left? Not a lot, right? Not a lot, but it doesn't matter. We could order more. But look at this picture of this fantastic-looking woman holding a koozie. Yes, this woman. I forgot to write her name down, but people are starting to send us pictures of them holding their koozies.

We love them, especially when you're a beautiful woman with those giant sexy glasses, the kinds that you take off and put on the nightstand. Yeah, with bangs. Now you're creating a story. Does she have a wedding band? We can't see. It's just hidden. I think the guy said,

this is my wife. My wife. Well, she's, it's an inch we see the laundry behind her did you notice that yeah yeah right so they this is a oh i'm surprised we don't see a reflection of the photographer in the in the window panes behind her which is interesting also because there's two there's a window and a door. The window has a blind on it.

The door does not. Either, either get them on both or it defeats the purpose. So that's, she's definitely with a guy because if it was just a woman, there'd be a blind

on both those windows. The logo this week comes from Laith Nabilsi who has made great ones before but this one takes the cake. This is the Super Bowl. You are on the 49ers. Logo this week comes from Laith Nabilsi, who has made great ones before, but this one takes the cake. This is the Super Bowl.

You are on the 49ers. I am on the, and I am on the Chiefs. Look at it. And we got Taylor Swift in front of it. And if you notice the number, the Super Bowl number is for 303, which is the episode this is is 203, 203. Yeah.

Nicely done for a guy who thinks about, for a guy who thinks about the Roman empire a lot. You're not great with the numerals. Um, hall of fame song, Jesse Hightower had his six year old sing. I don't know if the baby was written. It's not a baby, if the child was riffing or how many times they practiced, but this kid nailed it. It was so great.

It's like when The Clash, The Clash would use a kid's choir for some of their songs. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pink Floyd also, yeah. Can't Always Get What You Want, I think that was a kid's choir right no full full-blown

choir yeah um so thank you jesse and your and your lovely child a lot of corrections um chris said heard the pot earlier not to say but the curse uh and the smiths the cure and the Smiths, the Cure and the Smiths are quite of the UK variety, not US bands. Did I call them US bands? I don't know. I hope I didn't. I would never have. I might have like

slipped with the Cure, but... It might have been on my other podcast now that I'm thinking about it. Phew. Johnny Vinton said, I'm sure you're getting lots of comments about this,

but allow me to pile on. And I've got a ton of these. You pronounced Patrick Mahone Johnny Vinton said, I'm sure you're getting lots of comments about this, but allow me to pile on. And I've got a ton of these. You pronounce Patrick Mahone when it's actually Patrick Mahomes. Also, you gave a reason for wanting the Chiefs to win because you like Bosa. He plays for the Niners. Okay, listen.

I was on a roll. We should have a terrible sports talk. You can get great sports talk. It's hard not to everywhere you turn. Yeah, and they're all right. It's so repetitive. Everybody's right. Oh, with their institutional knowledge

and they have the inside track on everything. They've got assistants. We've got Chris Denman who only knows Kansas City teams. And I guess that actually would have helped. And fighting. Yeah. Why did I say Kansas City? St. Louis.

He didn't even get that right. Scott said, I'm laughing so hard at you confusing Jolly West and Jolly Rogers on tinfoil hat. This was a totally different podcast. This is somebody else's I did this week. I call Jolly West, Jolly Rogers. So I'm talking about the Manson murders. Oh,

I love it. Uh, tour dates coming up. Portland. This is interesting. February 22nd to the 24th at helium Huntington beach at the rec room. March 2nd, La Jolla comedy store,

March 8th through 10th, Hollywood St. Paddy's Day Show March 16th, and then new dates being announced for Alaska. I'm going to the North Pole. What? To a place called the Ale House on March 20th. You think if you travel that far, you should be at a venue a little more prestigious than the Ale House. And then I'm going to the Spur on March 21st in Fairbanks. And then the next two nights at the Center for the Arts, March 22nd and 23rd in Fairbanks. Also Tampa, side splitters March 4th through 6th. And then Boca Raton, April 7th. All right. Where's the North Pole? It's only about 20 miles south of Fairbanks,

so pretty much the center of Alaska. I'm looking up Anchorage to Fairbanks. How far do you think that is? Driving? Well, you don't drive. I think you've got to fly. But I think it's probably 200 miles. What is Fairbanks doing so inland? That's crazy. I thought everything in Alaska was on the water.

And what's weird is Fairbanks is a military, I think might even be Navy installation. I'm guessing Fairbanks is a lot colder, not because it's further north, but because it's not near the water. But it's 359 miles away. It's also five degrees below zero right now. If I confused it, Fairbanks is the one in Anchorage. Anchorage is obviously a port. Well, somewhere up there, I remember this.

I think there was a reality show. Maybe it was just pitched because I heard about it, but I think it a small claims court type of scenario where you get in a ring and you fight someone that you have a beef with. Oh, I love that. Yeah. One of these Alaska towns has that. That's amazing. So if it's Fairbanks, you should try to see if it's happening when you're up there. Dude, come up with me.

It sounds tempting, man. I've never been to Alaska. I went once and I was absolutely blown away by the sheer magnitude of everything. It's incredible. I was there in the summer. This is going to be March. So, but by the way, I'm watching True Detective and I said to Aaron last night because it's the at this point in the series it's December so it's dark all the time and it's you know below

zero and everybody's poor and I was like why would anybody go there and the next fucking day I get an offer from my agent to go to Alaska is that't that weird? That's really weird. Yeah. Of course you Google Alaska fights and it changes it to flights. But now there's Tuesday night fights. But it looks like it's, I thought it was even outside, which seems amazing. Anyway,

we should look that up. Let's look that up. You know what else we got to look up? Things to do on Valentineentine's day here's here's here's the thought i have how about getting involved support for sunday papers comes from joy mode joy mode is a way to get down anytime if you want if you want some joy in your life all you need is about 45 minutes of lead time and then joy mode is gonna it's a it's a supplement no prescription needed you simply mix it with six to eight ounces of

water 45 minutes before boom time and then you watch the love unfold you will be You will be pegging people within 45 minutes. It's way better than these sketchy gas station erection pills that you can buy. Would you put that in your body? Are you kidding me? Look, it's Valentine's Day. Blow somebody away and make yourself feel. I've taken, they sent us some free samples, and make yourself feel I've, I've taken, they sent us some free samples and I got to tell you something this weekend.

I was Thor. I was captain America. Throwing the hammer down, throwing the hammer down. And I got to thank joy mode for that. Um, it's, uh,

wait till you're alone in Alaska on it. Yeah. So you you could you know it's designed to support erection quality firmness and sex drive contains clinically supported doses of arginine nitrate l-citrulline panix ginseng and vitamin c ginseng no corrections please oh she's gonna sing forget the ginseng she's gonna sing blood vessels support cardiovascular and heart health athletic performance blood pressure general erection function it helps all of that. All right, listen, go to usejoymode.com and get 20% off with code PAPERS at checkout. That's 20% off and free shipping with code PAPERS at j-o-y-m-o-d-e.com. Be at your best when love is in the air with Joy Mode. Which brings us to game time, kind of like that game time 45 minutes after taking joy mode.

All right. I looked up Los Angeles game time. We love this app. Get the app game time for last minute tickets. It's we talk about it every week. It's fantastic. Here's Usher on. He's here September 21st.

Usher's playing the halftime show, right? Yes. That's what he's doing. Here he is, 183. We're going to watch that go down. They have the Stones, Nuggets, and Lakers. It's tonight at 7. That must be an amazing game because the ticket is still in very high demand.

But I like going on here under Discover because it's not only sports. You're going to see events, comedy, music, shows. It's fantastic. Here's Silver Knights at Rain, the Black Pumas, Silver Sun. Oh, I'd like to see Silver Sun pickups. That's tomorrow. See, I use this just to see even what's going on in town. Anyway, you shouldn't have to worry when you buy your tickets to the next big event.

It's fast. It's easy. There's killer last-minute deals all in prices. They show you the view from your seat and the best price guarantee. It takes the guesswork out of it. And the lowest price cancellation, not only lowest price guarantee, cancellation protection, job loss protection. So you buy the ticket within seconds. One of my favorite parts of the whole thing is they show you the all in price.

You're not like, oh, my God, that's a steal like I am on the other sites. And then it doubles because of all the fees. Right. That's not happening. Also, what's worse than going to a fucking Rolling Stones concert and you got fired the week before and you're worried about money? Not anymore. Not with Game Time. They got the guarantee.

So take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app. Create an account and use code PAPERS for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code PAPERS for $20 off. Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Speaking of papers, you got one to crinkle?

Let's get into this. Here we go. Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! Okay, that's the last time I'm using that paper. It's a little stale. I got better ones coming up. Baby boomers are approaching, quote, peak burden on the economy.

The date could fall sometime around 2029 when the youngest boomers will be 65, according to the census. when the youngest boomers will be 65, according to the census. Boomers are taking up the housing supply. Boomers are contributing to the labor shortage. Boomers will drain Social Security. Boomers are a risk to the stock market. How? Because the retirees, who are less tolerant of stock market volatility,

will pose a downside risk to stocks because they will sell as soon as we tip into a recession. So that's a problem considering that 55 and older people account for 80% of stock ownership. Damn, wait a minute. I'm 57. I should get a little piece of this action. Peak burden, by the way, sounds like the cause for justifiable homicide. You're caught with a smoking gun. You're like, officer, look, it's killing you too. This dude's a peak burden. Are you kidding? It makes it a little easier putting the pillowcase over grandma's face.

She's a peak burden. Yeah, I think it should be pre premeditated murder murder manslaughter peak burden yeah peak burden homicide these fucking the the oh god these manslaughter boomers you know those fucking veterans and holocaust survivors are really working against the bitcoin jockeys and only fans grandkids living for free in their basements. Fuck them. By the way, COVID brought the life expectancy down in the U.S. by like two years. And now I'm like, I think I'm anti-mask.

I'm anti-mask. I want big crowds. If there's another huge surge, I think we all get together and hold hands and try to make it through it together. And those crosswalk lights that blink, take those fucking things down. Fast people are going to make it through it together. And those crosswalk lights that blink, take those fucking things down. Fast people are going to make it across.

By the way, I think I might have, maybe baby boomers are not Holocaust survivors. I don't think. Right? Well, the oldest ones could have been a child in the Holocaust, I think. Okay, good, good. By the way, without boomers, millennials, speaking of economy, they would have no economy. They get their loans for a down payment on a house, the college funds, the free vacations in Florida, and eventually a nice inheritance.

That's an economy on its own. Yeah, there are going to be all the houses that are going to be passed on they're trying to incentivize home sales i don't know much about it but they're trying to because people it's almost like they can't there's no incentive to sell because of taxes the tax hit so they're going to sort of mitigate that, hopefully. But by the way, so I looked at the life expectancy in 2022. The life expectancy at birth in the U.S. increased to 77 and a half years. So that's up one year from 2021, but it's still down 1.3 years from 2019. Damn.

It was 78.8 for those born in 2019. Yeah. I wonder what. So that's what I think that means the at birth. So I wonder though, in 2022, what's the average age people are dying of old age, I guess. I don't know how you tease that out. Yeah. Like what's our life expectancy? If you can get past the first three years, that number jumps. Yeah, and if you get past 22 or three also.

Yeah. Speaking of dying, what's going on with the airlines? Let me tell you, I love this story. Airline announces it will now weigh passengers as well as their carry-on luggage. The controversial move comes from Finnish carrier Finnair, who told media they began measuring passengers departing from Helsinki on Monday. So far, more than 500 volunteer customers have participated in the weigh-ins. far more than 500 volunteer customers have participated in the weigh-ins in 2010 58 percent of britains said they wanted overweight passengers to pay more to fly and nearly 80 percent also said they thought plus size zones should be introduced on flights so people are for this. Yeah, they're into it. I mean, they have them in different, they want to put them in different zones.

Like does the zone change during the flight? Like you put them in the back for takeoff and in first class for landing. Would that help? Imagine all of them coming up to first class. That would go well. No waddling up there. Here comes Finnair's new slogan. We are the hottest airline in the world.

Finnair. No fatties. Finnair. Tight bods. Up in Finnair. More like thin air. Yeah, exactly. They should change it to thin air.

Exactly. A spokesman though said that all the americans were making our planes helsinki out of the sky well that yeah americans can't do this because like there's no overweight people in finland i've been there everybody is trimmed this country triple xl is the new media yeah a lot of the weight in the american airlines is just to carry all the seat belt extenders that's a lot that's a heavy drawer up in front i mean look it's this may not be fair they may cause the plane to crash but once it, they serve as airbags on impact, flotation devices out at sea, shark bait. Catering if they crash in the Andes.

By the way, we're going to see like thin air in the air, just flying past a fat Southwest flight. Yeah. I like it. I, uh, well, I told you that time,

God, it's such a, I was going out to the vineyard. I was working in New York and I booked it up to new Bedford, I think. And new Bedford, I remember the name. This was the actual name.

Talk about red flags. It was called Fred air. Oh, I remember Fred air. I flew Fred air. And my pilot was Fred. And I pull up and the person, first of all,

they're like, we have to weigh your bag. And all I had was a backpack. And I held up with one hand. I go, you have to weigh this. They're like, we do.

I'm like, this is not. Then they asked me my weight. Meanwhile, there's a woman behind me and i wanted to hang around i'm like she better be honest about like i'm going to give her space but she better be so she'll tell the truth she better be honest about her weight but but the best detail having nothing to do with weight was he comes out and he's dressed like the guy that removes the bumper, you know, the little rubber thing, the triangle, that whole, you put, you tuck it under the wheel so the plane doesn't roll on the runway. So he comes out, he has his cans on his head so, you know, the ear, his ears are protected. He removes those.

He has a cigarette in his mouth, by the way. He's smoking on the runway. Yeah. He has, he takes those away. This is on the runway. Yeah. He takes those away. This is in the early 90s. He takes those away. He then gets in the pilot seat with the cigarette in his mouth, opens the window flap, and flicks his cigarette out the window, and then reads us the safety material, and then we flew to the vineyard. Swear to God.

It was like getting on a tractor. I am not making this up i had the same experience but i was going from boston to new york i bought a flight and you know this is before the internet i don't know i think it was like in the school newspaper there was an ad for it that's how we probably both found it and so i get on and it was the same fucking thing i get to the terminal like you can't even find at it was at Logan Airport. Like you can't even find it's at the end of a long hallway past the janitor's closet. And then there's a guy behind the counter.

He takes my bag, puts it in the plane, gets behind the wheel and flies me to New York. Now, I should have checked the fine print because New York for Fred Eyre is not LaGuardia. It's not JFK. It's fucking East Hampton. We flew to fucking East Hampton. I didn't even know. So much closer. We landed.

Nobody mentioned East Hampton. We landed in East Hampton. And if people don't know the geography of New York, it's about two and a half hours from New York City. Oh, with traffic getting, like if someone had to come out, if they're waiting for you in LaGuardia and all of a sudden they had to go to East Hampton, it could be a three-hour drive. So I took a bus from East Hampton into the city

and then a train out to my parents' house. It was, yeah, it was an extra five hours. I could have driven from Boston to my house in less time than flying to East Hampton. Fred Ayer. I love Fred Ayer. I wonder what Fred's up to. He was pretty old then. Fred's dead.

Fred's dead. Pounding rains force millions of gallons of raw sewage to spill from L.A. County sewers. On Tuesday, sewage escaped through manhole covers near the port of Long Beach. An estimated 8 million gallons overflowed manholes and streamed into storm drains that empty into the ocean. Damn. Yeah, just 8 million. Just 8 million. Wow. I mean, you got, the beach is going to be a little different this summer.

You come home, wow, you got some color at the beach today. Deep, dark tan. It smells a little funky. Did you put white zinc on your nose? Wait, that's toilet paper. The city, I looked up the quote from a taxi driver. The city here is like an open sewer. You know, it's full of filth and scum.

Sometimes I can hardly take it. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. And it's going to wash it right down to Long Beach and erupt out of the sewers. By the way, I was listening. This is the first time. I didn't even know if my car had AM radio. I looked for AM radio. I didn't even know if my car had AM radio.

I looked for AM radio and because I wanted the latest, like is the four Oh five closed is LA underwater. So anyway, I'm listening and they're interviewing this woman who was down near this, this sewage problem. And she's like, um, she's like,

I'll look at it. She's like, look. And the, the reporter is like, what? She's like, it's all over our mailboxes. That's how high it got.

We can't even touch our mailboxes. There's sewage everywhere. We're waiting for them to come clean it up. So disgusting. Jesus. Yeah. Did you get the jury duty notice? I haven't touched my mailbox in months.

I have no idea. Um, you want me to read this one? test abortion. A man who bills himself as quote, the official pro-life Spider-Man scaled the 366 foot tall spherical structure near the strip at 10 a.m. Hey guys, I'm up here on top of the sphere, he says in the video, wind whipping in the background as he explains that his latest stunt was meant to bring attention to his anti-abortion cause while helping raise funds for a pregnant woman who's experiencing homelessness. He said later in a separate post that the money raised will help the woman cancel her abortion payment. I don't know if she's going to prioritize it for that, if she gets a windfall of cash. I mean, if she's homeless. Yeah, she's going to be like, holy shit, I can afford a

baby now. Yeah, that's what I need. Of course, Spider-Man is pro-life. He didn't have any parents. He was raised by his uncle and aunt and it all worked out. Yeah, he was Spider-Man. Yeah, I mean, sure, he's a mutant, but he's hanging upside down, out with chicks and i have just told you every detail i know about spider-man i

know nothing i can't even write other jokes about it because i don't know anything more about him well wasn't spider-man like uh peter well no peter parker was is that spider-man or spider-man okay yeah that's all i know and he he always has beautiful girlfriends um but i think we learn why i think his nemesis killed his parents i think there have been 40 spider-man movies at this point i've seen one yeah the first one was pretty fucking good i have to say toby toby what's his name parker no mcguire toby mcguire was good um well look i love these i love these pro-choice people they're so pro these pro-life people he he's so pro-life i mean if he's probably why is he climbing a fucking 300 foot wall

on a windy day my guess is this spider-Man lost the shirt at the craps table and then drained an ATM at the Spearmint Rhino. Life can't mean that much to this guy. That would be cool to leave him up there. Imagine if like this fear, you could also see through it. You just see this silhouette crawling around all that crazy footage through this fear. Yeah, that'd be pretty badass.

Wait till the dead shows. There's going to be 40 or 50 dirtbags climbing that thing. Fucking hippies. I think the superhero for pro-choice is Doctor Strange. Oh, okay. Abortion probably figured into the Marvel

or DC universe. abortion probably figured into the marvel or dc universe like some there must have been something about well there's a lot of birth defects right or defects i had an idea for a superhero once and it was i forget it was i sent it to john sorelli who's our friend who worked at marvel i remember what it was do you remember what it was, I forget who it was. I sent it to John Sorelli, who's our friend who worked at Marvel. I remember what it was. Do you remember what it was? I had two. I had two.

Okay. One of them was a guy who was scuba diving in the ocean. And then there was one of those forest fires where the helicopters come and they scoop up the water and they dump it on the fire. So this guy was scooped up, and he's scuba diving, and he got picked up by the helicopter and dropped on a fire where he burned, not to death, but the scuba suit got burned into his skin. So now he's amphibious, and he becomes an environmental terrorist going after the big companies that are starting forest fires.

I forget what it was. John liked it. John liked it. Throwing paint on the oil pictures. Right. Yeah, you know, didn't we draw up like pictures? Didn't we make rough sketches of it?

I think we did. Yeah. I think we did. And then that story got out somehow. I think there was something similar that came out. Yeah. The other superhero I had was there's a businessman who's in a hotel. He's at like a shitty motel and he jerks off.

And then the maid comes the next day and she cleans up the sheet and she puts it in the laundry bin and then they're eating egg sandwiches and some egg yolk gets spilled on where the sperm was on the sheet, and then they put it into the washer and the dryer, and when it comes out, a fetus is embedded in the sheet, and it grows into this, to the Motel 6 baby, and it spends its life killing traveling salesmen in the Midwest. It's The Six. Is that the name of the six? One of the movies should be called Do Not Disturb. What else do we got?

Free Breakfast. I don't know. Yeah. I like that. All right, let's move on to entertainment, pal. Entertainment. Fresh piece of paper. We got the San Diego Tribune was the first place I saw this.

And the title, they're sneaky. The title was, Are the Grammys Marginalizing Men? After Sunday's Hist sweep by women artists? It's about time. So they're kind of like justifying their headline, but they're the ones bringing up if men are marginalized. Like, I don't know if everyone was thinking that, but apparently you are San Diego Tribune and then you're like, it's about time. So except, it was pretty

crazy. I noticed it when I was watching because the first time I noticed it was first of all, they only gave out, I keep saying first of all, they only gave out 10 awards during the whole program. Is that right? Yeah. And nine of them were

won by women, and all of them were won by women except Jay-Z's, which was honorary. So it wasn't really honoring this year. So every nominee, every category for this year was won by a woman that was on the telecast. I'll just read this. Except for hip hop superstar Jay-Z, who got the honorary Dr. Dre Global Impact Award, all nine of the other Grammys presented during the rain-soaked telecast were won by women artists. Only one male artist, John Batiste, was nominated in the top three categories. So that's what I noticed. I think he's trans, by the way. No, he's married to a woman.

Apparently his documentary is great. But he was sort of wearing like, it looked like a dress. But that's when I noticed it, when they put all the nominees up there, and there were a lot of them for that final award, and it was all women except

him. And Paramore and Boyd, so by the way, they dominated all the awards that weren't on the show also paramore and boy genius won rock and alternative categories wet leg scoop the remix of the year women triumphed in the fields of country music urbana r&b af African music, and pop dance, where Kylie Minogue. Kylie Minogue. Did you watch Sundays, or did you watch Sundays from 2009? I know.

And they say it's this real backlash, and maybe the pendulum's because that guy, Neil Portnoy, who was the leader of the Recording Academy, he had that famous quote after 2018 when they were like, it's too dominated by men. He basically told women to, his words, step up. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meanwhile, Killer Mike was one of the only male winners.

He won three awards and he was immediately escorted out of the building in handcuffs. That's right. True story. I think it's because he won. Yeah. Cuff him so he can't hold him. Although I think Chappelle won for comedy, which was very not pro

woman. Yeah. Jay-Z was the only male winner of the night during the telecast, and his acceptance speech was literally about a woman should have be winning more grammys he was talking about beyonce she's never won album of the year she's won more grammys than anybody in history by far i don't know if it's just women but she's won more grammys by a long shot than any other woman. That's the thing. I definitely have a blind

spot when it comes to this because when I hear about also the number, like I think Mariah Carey has the most number ones of anybody. Then you have Adele. You have all these people and when you ask me point blank

best voices, best human voices ever, i don't even know how far down i go before i get to a guy yeah well beyonce has 32 how many does mariah carey but but she beat the beatles in number one hits i think um beyonce has the most and then Sir George Salty I don't know who the fuck that is oh yeah classical music conductor all right he has 31 Quincy Jones has 28 Alison Krauss and Chick Korea each have 27 wow uh but as far as being a lead singer you have to go down to stevie wonder at 25 for a male singer but taylor broke records anyway but like if you're asking me it's ella fitzgerald it's sarah vaughn it's billy holiday it's i mean you can go Beyonce. Chrissy Hynde.

I'm not putting her in craziest best voice. Of course, personally, I love Sinead's voice. I do think it was extraordinary. But anyway, my point is, I just think women dominate. And maybe it's not getting these trophies i don't know maybe uh i hate to sound sexist but maybe female performers are a little more compelling on live shows than males they're better dancers and i get the businessman that has to change but i consider that a business although men are starting to dance better right right? But still not like the women.

Yeah. Oh, sure. Oh, and your favorite, Chris, Rihanna's ex? Chris Brown. Chris Brown, your favorite performer of all time? Yep. That's my guy. Mostly for his values?

Yep. Let's make America Florida. Now it's time. Florida man bludgeons. All right. This is a tough headline. Okay. But I don't know.

Just the irony in it. Florida man bludgeons father to death after learning he got the vaccine. Of course. The 9-11 caller, who is a friend of the family, described the suspect, Brian. By the way, I love friend of the family. That's got to be a tough relationship to keep up, you know? He said he's still friends and absolutely not going to get vaccinated. Yeah.

Well, I didn't put these details in there, but I do remember them. So the 9-11 caller is a friend of the family. And she then went on to say that she spoke to the suspect an hour before, for like three hours before he hung up. Then an hour later, he called and he goes,

you better pack your things and get it, get away because I'm handing my dad's, which was confusing to her because she lived hours away from the father. So that was already right. So anyway, the nine 11 caller is a friend of the family to side described the suspect as quote delusional, a delusional conspiracy theorist. as, quote, a delusional conspiracy theorist. She told investigators he had also recently started using cocaine. So that is not a good combination. No, and I love that he's against putting unknown substances in your arm, but up your nose, no problem.

It's not like there's any fentanyl floating around or meth or that has an adverse effect on your health even if it's pure cocaine yeah yeah he's so worried about his father's health that he'll and that he'll hurt himself by taking the vaccine he got very involved yeah that. That's what he did. Yeah, he stopped the father from what? What is it that they claim the vaccine does to you that it should be avoided? Well, I know what it doesn't do. It doesn't beat you to death in your kitchen,

which is what happened here. They don't hit that enough. Fauci should have mentioned that more often. That would have brought people around. It's way more gradual than a pummeling in your kitchen that kills you instantaneously. No, but what do they say? Your heart expands or something? What do they claim?

It grew three sizes that day. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know. No, it can bring on an assortment of illnesses. It probably triggers some illnesses. I guess, you know, the old, we're all walking around with cancer. Maybe it activates them. Yeah. No heart. There's definitely concerns about heart. Yeah. I'm trying to think of other

things that have been triggered. Is it MS? Some other things have been triggered. All the anti-vaxxers are screaming at their computers right now. I know. I know. If you can write in a cogent paragraph that that's five sentences, that's legitimate concerns. We'll read it. How about that? Yes.

We'll read it on the air. Don't, don't write us a bad review. We'll be open to it. We'll read, we'll read, we'll read an intelligently written four or five sentence paragraph that expresses some ignorance i don't i haven't done a lot of research on it i don't know

where yeah we're aware no we're just talking about the numbers the percentage of people that are endangered by the side effects of it versus the percentage of people that legitimately have not died because of taking it. And I'm not- We know it was rushed. We know it was rushed. Tell us what went wrong when they rushed it. We also know that if you're really healthy and you're under a certain age, there's a fair conversation to be had if you needed it.

I'm also open to hearing that. Yes. So we're not crazy. It's not black and white. That's our point, though. It's not black and white that's our point though it's not black and white which by the way if you're white you probably don't need it okay let's make georgia podcast mike we're a podcast we got to be anti-vax eventually let's i know it'll help our numbers georgia here we go

i looked at alabama stories they were so dark i couldn't put it in this really so so a georgia so i got this one which is not dark georgia woman travels to connecticut to find son's ashes after ups package went missing so this woman said she shipped a box containing her son's ashes clothing necklaces and and an iPad to her sister's home in Waterbury. She makes the urns, so she was going to make one for me special, she said, but the package never arrived. The first day finding out the package was just lost, she said, it was like I lost my son.

I lost him. I lost him all over again. I wouldn't say it was quite the same, but we'll continue. UPS apologized in a statement and said, we recognize that no amount of money would compensate for the loss of a loved one's ashes, which is one of the most important reasons. UPS declines to transport human remains. We have reimbursed the estimated value of the package content,

which was labeled as containing clothing. Lee, the woman, said she received a check for $135. I guess you can put a price on it. Yeah. But I think the estimate may, should have said it's for clothing and dust, which would have kept it at $135. All we are,

that's the official statement was all we are is dust in the wind. Yeah. And it's probably in the wind. That's what I'm guessing. So. in the wind that's what i'm guessing so i think there's a guy in new jersey right now who's peppering his salad going like does this taste dry is this pepper a little dry it just arrived yesterday but it doesn't doesn't have that peppery taste it's hardly noticing though he's watching his new iPad. She said that was an insult and a slap in my face

because he was worth way more than that. And I was like, he or the dust? Because you didn't ship him and it's hard to put a, listen, as they said, it's hard to put a price on life. It's even harder to put a price on dust.'s even harder to put a price on

dust i don't know i think i don't know if she's gonna win this one no i mean i think she's just got to accept that wherever she was going to sprinkle those ashes they were sprinkled in the back of a brown steel truck that's fine that's that's that's something what can we do for you today we did it we took care of your son's remains all right a little dark a little dark should we get to sports let's do some sports All right. Super Bowl, people. I mean, it's happening in a few hours maybe, or it already happened. What happened?

Can you text us right now and tell us so I can bet on it? Get a time machine. What happened? I can tell you right now. If you follow the conspiracy theorists, they're all saying that the fix is in, that the 49ers are going to win because that's what the NFL wants. I mean, it's amazing how much conspiracy theory has come out around football

in the last month. Not buying it, but right now the spread is, I think, two points. I'm looking it up right now. 49ers are giving two points. The under-over is 47.5 points. I think we're going to go over that. Oh, dude, it might be 2.5 now. Okay, good.

Which, how is it? This fix is, and a lot of people are not buying this fix um how much are we betting was it 40 or 50 i think it's still a two but we'll bet the game oh yeah no most places are two well i think we said 50 okay 50 bucks and uh tim dilly who is the guy who we're friends with, who came down and he was generously bid on the golf outing to raise money for out-of-work production people in film and TV. Yep. I think, I can't say the amount because he says he doesn't want his wife knowing how much he blew on a round of golf on a public course

with a bunch of buffoons. So instead we're going to read about his gambling addiction right now. Well, he's got a thing called, these are called prop bets. And prop bets are sort of off the beaten path bets. They're incidental things that happen during the game. I haven't read any. Shoot, hit me up. Okay.

Now we have to keep track. So will you keep track in the document of what each of us says? Yes. Okay. Now we have to keep track. So will you keep track in the document of what each of us says? Yes. Okay. And you guys as well, what we're going to do is we're going to put a link on the website, FitzDawg.com, and you can get the link for this prop bet form and you can fill it out, put your name, and I think you win something. I got to ask Tim if he's giving out a prize for the winner. prop bet form and you can fill it out put your name and i think you win something i gotta ask

tim if he's giving out a prize for the winner so first bet will the coin flip be heads or tails okay i'm betting yeah you bet we'll take turns betting first okay i'm to bet first. MG says tails. All right, I'm going to say heads. Oh. Next one is first shot of Taylor Swift. Before kickoff, first half, second half, or never. Well, I'm glad I get to pick this one. I'm going to go before kickoff. Yeah.

Yeah, but so can I because you chose heads. You could have chosen tails also. Oh, okay. That's fine. So do you want to go back to one? You chose what you wanted? I'll stick with that. Okay, we both go before.

What type of business will have a first TV commercial? Beer, fast food, car, or other? Yeah, we used to have that bet it was car food or drink or white guy ad and what we defined white guy ad was insurance taxes i wouldn't i wouldn't share that what people you ever you will know you ever made that bet. Okay. We're going to cut that. Let's cut that out of the show. I didn't count my, I didn't count myself as one of those white guys.

They weren't for me. All right. How about this one? Uh, Oh, so I'm going to go with, uh, beer.

All right. Hold on one second. Let me Mark where we are here. Is it one Oh seven, one hour and are here. Is it 1.07? One hour and seven minutes. 1.07. Okay. What were the choices again?

Beer, fast food, car, or other? Car. Okay, I'm taking beer, you're taking car. Who will score first, the Chiefs or the 49ers? Wait, you want beer. Okay, I'm taking Beer, you're taking Carr. Who will score first, the Chiefs or the 49ers? Wait, you want Beer. Okay, you want Beer. Who's going to score first? Yeah.

49ers. I'm going to say Chiefs. Oops. Number of field goals missed by Jake Moody, 49ers field goal kicker. Zero, one, or more than one. Why am I writing this down? We're going to have this recorded. Right?

Yeah, but it'll be faster. All right. I can't keep up with you, and I'm slowing down the show. All right, let's just keep going. What did you say? Number of field goals missed by Jake Moody, the 49ers kicker. Zero field goals missed, which I know is all of a sudden an anomaly in football. I'm going to say one.

Okay. What will the clock read at the time of the two-minute warning of the first half? Two minutes or less than two minutes? Oh, I see. I'm going to say two minutes. I'm going to say two minutes? Oh, I see. I'm going to say two minutes. I'm going to say two minutes as well. Will Ludacris join Usher for Yeah during halftime show? Wow.

Has Ludacris been canceled at all? I think so. By the way, we could probably find out who he's been rehearsing with. I don't know who he's going to have come up. Usher better. I think my kids are going to be like, who? No, no. Usher's huge.

You think Usher's huge for an 18-year-old? All right. Will Ludacris join him? Yes. I'm going to say yes. Will the score of one of the teams be 10, seven, let's skip that one.

That's stupid. No. Number of touchdown passes for Brock Purdy, zero, one, two, or more than two? More than two.

I'm saying two. Will there be a touchdown scored by the defense or special teams of either team? Sorry, you said defense also? Yeah. Yeah, you'd have to have odds for this, but I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say no. Finally, color of the Gatorade. I guess that changes every year.

Yellow, purple, or other. I guess that changes every year, yellow, purple, or other. I'm going yellow. I'm going to go red. That's other. Okay. All right.

All right. So that's it. And, you know, we could have just filled, I can send it to you and you can fill it out, but yeah, that's a tough one with, but have fun with that.

Have fun with that, people. You'd have to get odds on some of those. Yeah. All right, let's get to this day in history. Here we go. So we've been, we've been doing a fun thing which is uh it worked so well the first week i've taken over this franchise and i quiz you but i don't put it in the script because i don't want you to see it and the last two weeks i was teed up with a great segment. I had it all in another document, another tab, and then

we never went to it. So here we go. This day in history. This is how we're doing it from now on. Gregory. Yes. American singer Whitney Houston. She died at the age of 48

on this day. What was the year? Yeah, she died the night before the Grammys. Notice I'm looking up, so you know I'm not Googling anything. In a tub in the Hilton, I think. I'm going to say Whitney Houston died in 2008. Wow. You guessed further ago than I know. It's 2012.

I didn't think it was 12 years ago, but it is. I thought it was a little less than 10 years ago, maybe. Yeah. God, that was sad. And how many people blamed, what's his name? Who was her boyfriend? Yeah. Not Bobby Brown.

Was it Bobby Brown? Yeah, it was. How many people blamed Bobby Brown for that? I know. Was he ever charged? I guess you can't charge somebody for it. No, but charge somebody daughter suffered the same fate didn't she oh that's right in a bathtub too right but not on this date let's stay focused yes different dates after serving 27 years in prison nelson mandela was released on this date. What year? I'm going to say...

Give or take three. Give or take five. Nineteen... So far you're right. 1983. 1990. You missed it. Give or take five. Let's see if there's another one here.

The Yalta Conference between the Allied leaders of World War II came to a close on this date. In what year, give or take a year? 1945. You nailed it on the nipple. There we go. Let's see nailed it on the nipple. There we go. Let's see if there's another fun one. American inventor Thomas Edison held a world record of 1,093 patents, and he was born on this date in what year, give or take 30 years?

Because you're ignorant. 18. So far, you're ignorant. 18. So far, you're correct. 1840. Dude, 1847. No way. Yeah. Nice.

That's pretty good. All right. Good segment. We're moving on. All right. Here we go. Letters to the editor. Letters to the editor. What you got?

Hey, Greg, I went to Catholic school K through 12. So I'm a recovering Catholic. There was a girl classmate that was in my grade. Her name was Margaret. This little redhead was a total pig pen. Nasty. I love this keep reading you want nasty disheveled and stank all the time you can't even read greg has a silent laugh in fit i don't even remember why i don't even remember where i put this in

she would go to the front of the class and pass my desk and you could smell her bo she stank i shouldn't read ahead who would who would write this who would no who would read this and paste this into a professional show she stank of dirty asshole she's the reason even though i'm happily married i'm revolted by redheads have no desire to visit ireland this was the letter that was the whole thing there was no point to it it wasn't related to anything that he said on the show he won't go to ireland because of the visceral memory of this dirty asshole i mean put her name i was just thinking about what a sad, poor girl this was. You know? What her life was. Wait, I hope you didn't read the guy's name.

We don't want to read his name. I mean, poor Margaret. Let Margaret please live in ignorance right now. What's ATB mean? All the best. All the best. Yeah, thanks for that, Mark. Oops.

We also got some submissions we started asking people sleepy hollow is the the headless horseman i grew up in tarrytown our team our team mascot was the headless horseman which seems insane but that's what it was i asked you for yours and we've gotten a litany of responses. This one comes from Eddie Spear. He said, Marblehead, Massachusetts, birthplace of the American Navy. I did not know that. He also suggested

that we add to the year-end show the music that we mentioned or maybe make a playlist on Spotify. That's a good idea. Just keep track of any songs that we mentioned during the year and make a Spotify playlist. Oh, I like that. And we can keep adding to it.

Every episode, we add the songs we talked about. I think you might get corrected on litany. Litany is more like a petition, which has a list in it like litigious it might come from that but i think it's more lit like writing but uh i could be wrong there we might be triggering more corrections yeah okay let's move on uh peter honney said my hometown san carlos california is the city of good living the neighboring town redwood city of course i've heard of redwood city yeah is quote climate best by government test as determined by a pre-world war one climate survey let me tell you something That climate, it's fucking windy, it's cold, and it rains a lot. Didn't it burn down?

Redwood City? No, I don't know. Where's Redwood City? It's in the San Francisco Peninsula. Seriously? Yeah, down below the city. Yeah. You're going with that?

Absolutely. You're absolutely city. Yeah. You're going with that? Absolutely. You're absolutely right. Yep. It's right by Palo Alto. Yep. This is from Brian in Madison, Wisconsin. He said, hey man, it's not the town I live in, but an area I go every year on a fishing trip. There's a town named Waters Meat in michigan's upper peninsula whose sports

teams are named the nimrods apparently the team nimrod means skillful hunter it got the current meaning of idiot from a bugs bunny cartoon where he jokingly called elmer fudd a nimrod so everyone took it to me what it does today ah fucking bugs bunny man was so goddamn funny like when you when i think about my early comedy influences like the things that made me interested in comedy like bugs bunny was basically groucho marx totally and he he said so much funny shit like uh you know so long screwy see you in st louis that's for you denman um see you in kansas city let's do obituaries here we go and that's all folks

yeah this has been an interesting take on Toby Keith, who passed away. Yeah. Very easy to dismiss, especially if you're a music snob. But then, you know, there's a lot of articles and a lot of people paying tribute. I think I just saw one, which was, anyway, a lot of people coming to his defense. Why were people going after him in the first place not being a good singer no i don't think anyone knocked his singing it was his songs and then he got very patriotic oh okay and he doubled down i think 9-11 was part of part of that and um i'm trying to find some of these ones but

i once called courtesy of the red white and blue the angry american yeah it was a number one song and he i but it was interesting so i saw colbert he comes back from break after act one and he seems very sincere and he's like toby keith and he he opened it with like all-time great like he said something very like a like a superlative like all-time great toby keith has passed and i didn't know what his angle would be because he seemed like a very easy person for colbert and his politics to dislike, especially back then when, you know, Colbert and Stewart were just, it was fish in a barrel picking apart our reaction to 9-11. Well, and also the Dixie checks. This guy really went after the Dixie checks.

Yeah. He went after some people who had sort of more open-minded thinking about 9-11 and how we should react and all that stuff. Anyway, but Colbert came to the brink of crying and got choked up. So he had him on his show. And this is Colbert's whole point, which is exactly what we're talking about, which is he had him on. He had cards to eviscerate him. And he, for some reason had this moment when he was sitting there to first hear him

and maybe don't attack him because he didn't know that much about him and he was trusting the cards and they became lifelong friends. No kidding. Yeah. Um, Nathan Wheat wrote, wrote in, please use the Toby Keith death and his feud with the Dixie Chicks to bring up Zach's joke about the trans country band he wanted to make called the Chixie Dicks. Well, I guess we just did. I never heard that.

That's a great, perfect joke. Yeah. Um, so I don't, you know, it's interesting. I, it's easy to, there's a very, maybe we'll put it on the website. There's a, this guy, this music fan talked about an encounter that I guess was legendary at farm aid, maybe between Christofferson and Toby Keith and Toby Keith said Christofferson when he went out there, actually I can play it. Why not? I'll play it. It's shorter that way. But anyway, did you have anything to say about Toby Keith? Uh, no, I really, I'm new to country music. I really am like pretty ignorant. I mean, if you were to tell me Toby Keith or Keith Urban,

I wouldn't know the difference. I just am not that into country. There's certain artists that I've discovered through you and your girlfriend in the last few years. And I always liked Laya Lovett, Johnny Cash, and Willie Nelson, and guys like that. But I think I've discovered Jason Isbell and Chris Stapleton and those guys in the last few years.

And definitely we went to the Country Music Museum in Nashville. And I mean, you want to talk about a, you don't want to leave. It is so rich. It's great. And everyone should watch Ken Burns documentary, which is basically that museum. And you just see the influence. Like, here's the Atlantic, right? Which you would think would not be team Toby Keith.

And the headline, this was today, Toby Keith had more to talk about than his politics. The late singer became a household name by leaning into partisan controversy, obscuring his often artful songwriting. And so anyway, but here is this guy. So this is back. This is filed.

This one under Toby Keith's easy to hate. And hopefully you can hear this. Let me know if you can or can't. This is the only story about Toby fucking Keith that I will ever enjoy listening to. Can you hear it? Yeah. So basically he, as well as Chris Christophopherson who is another country music legend were both invited to willie nelson's 70th birthday party at some point the two came face to face had a few words

and toby keith apparently said something to the effect of none of that lefty shit out there chris and uh former army ranger chris christopherson took exception to this his response to toby keith was and i quote have you ever worn your country's uniform no you have not have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave for you to do so the answer is no you have not so you need to shut the fuck up because you don't have any idea what you're talking about this exchange also apparently got the attention of several other party goers to which he looked at them pointed at toby keith and said you know what waylon jennings said about guys like this

he said they're doing the country music what pantyhose did to finger fucking i fucking love love chris christophers so now i feel a little badly like that's a pop shot at him but first of all if he started it with chris then he can go fuck himself but that was probably just a bad move and toby keith probably was humbled by that exchange if everything i'm reading about him is true now and he probably took it to heart and regrets it. Huh? All right, let's cheer up. Also, someone showed him,

it's very interesting, these articles. And I think we're going to have a lot of that with the last thing I'll say with a lot more people dying. Of course, you're now judging on a curve. That's a little more sensitive, but,

um, it's interesting when these other more human aspects of people come out and with, with, it's going to be the law of, you know, used to be the law of threes. It's going to be the law of thirties soon with all the famous people, the first wave of famous people dying now with television came in the fifties and stuff. Anyway. Yeah. I just thought it was, I just lost my train of thought, but I thought it was interesting. Oh, someone goes, here he is standing ovation when Obama like got the Nobel Peace Prize or something like that. Like, so it wasn't as simple as we thought. That's all.

Okay. Well, let's cheer up. That's a good obituary. Why don't we cheer up? Here we go to the fun days. Why don't we cheer up? Here we go to the funnies. Well, Hager and the boys are, as usual, up to no good. They're outside of a castle.

The king looks a little bit scared, and the gang is underneath. They got spears and axes, and Hager says, and his wife is standing in the window behind the king peering out she looks uh wary to say the least and uh hagger goes i hate to tell you we're raiding your castle and then the king goes can't you make an honest living and hagger goes okay i love to tell you we're raiding your castle at that point the queen is fucking out of there all you see is the back of her head she is running for the safety room what do they call it the safe their safety room where you lock yourself in the safe room this she's in the safe room yeah um yeah she sees the passion they're very passionate these vikings and they love women. He got very good advice,

probably from some career counselor, to do what you love. Yeah, right. And the queen is what he loves to do. Is it do what you love no matter what? Yeah. Speaking of doing what you love, Leroy is giving it to Loretta, and he says to her, it's important to admit when you're leroy is uh is um giving it to loretta and he says to her it's important

to admit when you're wrong loretta it's not important to admit when i'm wrong i like that that's cute that is cute oh it's also sorry called a panic room panic room. But also safe room. I would think if I was a Viking king's wife, I would have several panic rooms in the house. Yeah, the panic attack room. Yep. Absolutely. Leroy is in the boardroom, which I never picture Leroy in the boardroom.

They never show it, but here he is. And the big honcho, the CEO, is leaning on the table in front of the four employees, and he goes, you can fool some of the people all of the time. That's our customer base. I love it. All right. So I'm going to, I'll give them credit next week. a listener emailed in and hold on let me get you on here and uh recommended because i'm quitting kathy kathy is it's it's truly depressing yeah and we get it you get it there there's not a lot of range in that cartoon and i think it was supposed to be

funny about depressing but nope missed it it's just depressing. So, uh, anyway, this is, um, Oh, what's it called? It's called, Oh, I didn't even, it's not on here. I'll get it in a minute. But, um, guys on the therapist couch, it came recommended because it was similar to the far side sensibility. And he goes, um, guys on the psychiatrist couch and it's long nose and you can kind of make out it's Pinocchio. And he's like, I miss the strings. And it says Pinocchio, the later years. Wait, did he lose his strings? Yeah.

Remember when he became a real, he became in the tale, he became a real person. I got to reread that. It's been too long. So when you're reading this, I'm going to look up, give this guy credit, and also get the name of this strip, which has been around for 30 years or something. Yeah. All right, let's get to Blondie. And this is going to be tough because my wife came in, she's in the next room, and I don't

know how she, I don't know if she knows how I truly feel about blonde oh that's amazing so here it is uh fucking numb nuts is in bed in some donut pajamas and she's sitting up and she's got a frilly off the shoulder uh violet uh neglig. And he says, honey, you said you're fine, but are you really fine? And she said, why would I say I'm fine if I'm not fine? And he goes, the tone of your voice is saying not fine. And she goes, I said I'm fine. I meant I'm fine. So I must be fine, right?

And then they've got a sleep cloud above his head and he's going, oh, well, if she's fine, I can't. He falls asleep. And then she's got a sleep cloud above his head and he's going, oh, well, if she's fine, I can, he falls asleep. And then she's got a thought bubble. If he knows what's good for him, he'll realize I'm not fine. This is the thing. How long do you have to be married to this woman?

She's not complicated. She's not hiding her feelings. She's an open, like her cleavage. She is an open book. And she is telling you how she feels. Read between the lines. Get the subtext.

Understand this poor, lonely woman who is starving. She is starving herself physically to make you happy. She's starving sexually, spiritually, and you are just dreaming about fucking ham sandwiches. It kills me. Hi, Aaron. I can't find this email. All right, next week.

Yeah, give us something to talk about. Next week I'll come loaded with what that was. All right, we got a lot of things to pay off next week. We got the comic strip. We've got all our bets on the Super Bowl. We've got your guys' predictions, which you're going to make on the link. If you go to FitzDawg.com, fill out the form.

And I think there's a winner. There's got to be. What will we give to the winner, Mike? A koozie. Winner of what? Well, you fill out the form, and whoever gets the most correct wins a prize. See, I didn't see the form. I thought maybe they were getting money.

Tim was tied into some pool that you enter. I don't know if he's just doing it for fun, but let's just say Tim can let us know who wins. And if it's one of our listeners, make sure when you fill out your name on this thing, write your name and then write Sunday papers next to your name. And then we'll know that you're enrolled.

How about this? The highest, the most accurate listener gets a koozie. Gets a koozie, mail to your house for $10. That's it. Probably takes two tries. Probably takes two tries to mail it. It's going to get chewed up in the machine. Oh, why cut our sales in half? No. Well, no. I mean, that's how special they are. I mail it twice. Speaking of special, you guys are going to want to get involved with Joy Mode.

If you go to joymode.com and use Papers at checkout, you'll get 20% off. Also, Game Time, the app that gets you into, oh God, theater, sports, music, everything. Go to GameTime app, create an account, and use code PAPERS for $20

off your first purchase. We want to thank Midcoast Media for doing a great job as always. Mike, anything you want to plug? I don't think so. I started the movie Tender Merc mercies is that a good thing to plug yeah that's good so far yeah good so far won the oscar did it yep we know the daughter of the screenwriter we do yep who he also wrote to kill a mockingbird oh yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

All right, man. No, I think everybody should enjoy the Super Bowl. You know, I guess I more want Kansas City to lose than the 49ers to win. I have no dog in this fight. Tender Mercies won Best picture 1984 best picture best director best screenplay and best actor are you sure really yep jesus okay um i want to know oh you know what i'm watching that that's uh really great is uh true detective no i don't i don't love it i don't love it no i'm a little media i have a lot

i'm making my list of the of the big shows that i've missed i mean the wire the wire is number one grizz grizzella grizzelda oh yeah well i saw the documentary about that bitch yeah whoa yeah now there was a scar she was the scar face there was was a quote from Escobar. What's his name? Yeah, Pablo. Pablo Escobar. He said, I've never been afraid of a man, but I'm afraid of a woman. Something like that.

Huh. He wasn't that articulate. What was his second language? He said Spanish. He's forced to say it in English. Huh he wasn't that articulate What was his second language Spanish He's forced to say it in English Thanks for listening you guys Take it eesh Take it eesh

Take it eesh One two three four Sunday paper We eat everything on Sunday. Just Sunday. That's all for the week, just on Sunday. Yeah. Yeah.