Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 207 3/10/24

Episode Date: March 10, 2024

Episode 207. It’s Oscar night and we make out picks. A Georgia man takes drugs and arrests cops, Kellogg's CEO suggests breakfast for dinner, coffee grounds cure Parkinson's, and if you need adrenal you are shit out of luck. Thanks to our sponsors:  Download the GameTime app, use code: Papers joindeleteme.com/papers

Now when the news is super important, leave it to Greg and Mike to get it all sorted. The sources are suspect, but it's good for a laugh. The Sunday Papers, Sunday Papers podcast. Three, two, one. Read all about it. Are we doing that? We're reading about it early. Read all about it.

An atopical news show, although it's topical with the Oscars. It is. Ladies and gentlemen, Sunday Papers comes to you. Welcome to Oscar Sunday. We wait for it all year. Actors, you know, it all starts with the idea of some broken New York guy who went to NYU film school, has been Ubering for 10 years, and he has an idea. And then he finds an agent, and then the agent pitches it to a star, and then they go pitch it to a studio, and the studio greenlights it and then it goes into what they call turnaround for sometimes upwards of 10 years where uh they can't get the funding together they can't schedule the actors and then finally

all the stars align hell right development hell and then finally they shoot this fucking thing and assuming it all goes well from the time you shoot it until they edit it, set up all the promo tours and the press junkets and the release. It's going to be a year and a half after you shoot it. And then it can just go away. It cannot make a ripple and it's gone. Or it can soar to the mighty heights of that Hollywood sign up above Griffith Park, and you, in one night, can be the toast of the town. Your ticket is punched, and you will work. You will get upwards of

three new development deals, each paying six figures, and you will move to Hollywood, and you will date somebody way younger than you. Half your age, plus seven years. That's the formula. Unless you're a woman, sometimes it's twice as old. Right.

Seems to be the pattern. Yeah. Well, who is it that dates younger guys? Oh, yeah. Well, Keanu Reeves' longtime girlfriend is a little older than he is, I believe. People think she's much older because Keanu, she's not in Hollywood. So she's not probably dyeing her hair jet black every day and working out in three-month training, jujitsu sessions, getting ready for films.

Who's Clooney's wife? I like her. She's all right. She's not in the business. No, international lawyer. She's fantastic. Yeah. Amal? I don't know. And I don't think She's all right. She's not in the business. No. International lawyer. She's fantastic. Yeah. Amal?

I don't know. And I don't think she's young. I think she's probably up around his age. I doubt she's as old as he is. Give or take. I'm going to Google it. You remember the joke that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey made at the Oscars, and they talked about Gravity, the movie where George Clooney launches himself

into space and a certain death rather than spend time with a woman his own age. Yeah. It was so great. All right, so listen. I'm going to Google right now how old Clooney's wife is. You're going to Google how old George Clooney is. Before we do it, what is your guess on how much younger she is? Well, first of all, I'm going to guess old George Clooney is before we do it. What is your guess on the, uh, how much

younger she is? Well, first of all, I'm going to guess that George Clooney is, he's got to be 62. Don't look it up. Don't, no, no, no. Don't look up any. Come on. First we do the bet. Oh, all right. I would say he's 52 and I would say she is 46. I'm going to say she's 10 years younger. I'm going to say she's 42. And he's 52? Oh yeah, I'm not going on, sorry, those are your numbers. I'm going to go 10 years younger. You're going six years younger?

I'm going, what did I say, 62 and 54? I think you said, didn't you say 52 and 44, 46? Yeah, 52 and 46. I'm going 10 years. And all right, how old, here I go, is, this is so pathetic.

I should know her name, but Clooney's. Clooney, mine just popped up. He's 62. By the way, I meant 62. I didn't mean 52. Okay. 16's 62. By the way, I meant 62. I didn't mean 52. Okay. 16 years younger. No.

So you go fuck yourself. Well, I nailed his age. I just was way off on her. Holy shit. I did say Amal, I think. I think I did get her name. Yeah. And she took his name.

I didn't know that. I thought she was more powerful than that. She's going to take a lot more than that someday. Oh, boy. Yeah, I think she's doing quite well for herself. She is. I think she does very well, and I wish them the best. I also wish the best to my brother,

Bobby Fitzsimmons, on his birthday. He is 59 years old. Holy shit, my brother's almost 60. God damn. Happy birthday, Bobby. I'll have to give him a call today. He seems younger.

He seems a lot younger than that. Everybody has always thought my brother was younger than me and better looking than me and smarter than me. You showed him. Well, he's a funny dude. i don't know too many people that make me laugh more than him he he is fucking we had so many good laughs as kids i just remember uh the i bet but i didn't finish my thought ago you showed him you have a podcast and you're talking about him um i just remember i don't know if it was your wedding weekend it was some scorcher and probably you probably have 10 or 12 of these memories

but he would not ride in a car which was using air conditioning because of the environment yeah he was he worked for greenpeace for a lot of years. And people were sweating through three layers. If you had your shirt and your suit jacket on, you were sweating through the suit jacket. It was crazy. Yeah, I think it was 100 degrees on my wedding. And we got married in an old stone church. So it was like a pizza oven. Yeah, I was there in the goddamn polyester suit you made me wear i made all all my groomsmen had to wear sharkskin suits you guys look slick oh my god

um and then the bachelor party you remember we were in vegas and we got on the elevator and we were on a very high floor and then these girls got on a couple floors below us so we had a pretty long ride down to the lobby. And we were at the Hard Rock Hotel. And the girls get on. And they're cute. And they're about our age. And one of them has wet hair.

And there's that awkward silence after the doors close. And there's like three or four of us guys and the two girls. And he looks at her and he goes uh you shower and she goes yeah and he goes you wash the hair and she goes yeah and you gotta understand my brother's so good looking he gets away with this shit and he goes did you get the undercarriage and she fucking smiles and then everybody in the elevator laughed like all the way down to the lobby. The other thing that keeps me on edge though is he's really funny. He's really good looking and charming.

Also a little undercurrent of creepy a little bit. Really? I think so. But I'm not saying he's a creep at all. I'm saying when he has the long hair and, he's like oh his eye contact which is the Fitzsimmons family somehow inherited the eye contact gene there's too much of it yeah and with you I now know I'm no longer thrown by your eye contact because I know you're not even hearing a word I'm saying and your mind is somewhere else. It's the opposite of being too focused.

You present as overly focused, but you're just locked in because it's almost like looking a way to think, but you look in people's eyes to think. It's overcompensating for the ADD. Bobby, though, the eye contact is going. So it's a long-haired one could say sometimes the hair looked a little Charles Manson II and then the eye contact while saying get the undercarriage yeah yeah yeah and you have to question the creepy part all right happy birthday bobby also uh i'm with my mom in the future when this airs i will be wait on the 10th will i still be in no i will be back and i'm in san diego now you will be in

europe on the 10th right i will i will i'm going there uh well i'm there i'm there right now you're there right now i'm there right now And hopefully some people send in some recommendations for Amsterdam on the way there. You know, I was going to say it's also my stepmother passed away, but it's her birthday. And I'm wondering, because recordings and like, not evidence, but their fingerprints are still around. Like I know a lot of people don't erase Facebook accounts of people who have passed away, right? A lot of people hold onto the voicemail messages of people who have passed away. There's a great thing to be done with that, I'm thinking, and I wonder if it's already, it seems like low-hanging fruit.

A movie about that? Maybe it is. Oh, I remember one where there's a woman who has her husband's voicemail and she calls it all the time after he dies. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Because, I mean, think about all the books and movies that are old school that we grew up with where it's letters or it's letters from wars. The notebook. Yeah. And it's mementos and all that. Well, now you're hearing

them full of life. And even if it's an Instagram account or a website that has like messages from the departed or something or what if it was just like notes in your dead spouse's mouth that they wrote to you well now you're counting on people having listened to last week's episode and and do you keep the cranium and you open and you open it you pull up you put two fingers through the eyes of the skull, you pull it up and you take the note out and you read a nice little thing? You have to go back and listen. The skull is charred from the airplane explosion. So you got to be careful opening it.

Story about my dad writing a note and putting it in his mouth because he thought he was going to die on a plane. Well, no, I have a whole idea. I won't get into it, but I have an idea about this that I'm going to, I'm going to eventually raise money and retire on this great idea that I have about people dying. That sounds like years of procrastination as we call it. Yep. Also, we're going to talk about the Oscars in a minute.

The logo this week comes from Craig Godette, who I believe did last week's as well. He is a master. Killing it. Look at us. Of the Photoshop. I like me. I like me with a, what do I have, a Van Dyke? It's not a Van Dyke. I guess it's just a beard and mustache, but it looks different. Well, you know who that couple is, right? Is it Ben Affleck and JLo? Yes. Oh,

okay. And I'm, I'm JLo and I like me like that. I always thought when I was younger, I don't think I get away with it now, but when I was younger, I think I could have been a pretty good trans person. It's never too late.

I had a thin body, very little hair. What do you mean pretty good? You mean, so now you're going to be, uh, it's on appearances. You're going to be that shallow couldn't you be a good trans person no matter what you look like greg no no when i watched that show transparent i was i never i never i was always

like this is i you want to be open-minded to trans people but seeing a an an older man he wasn't even a middle-aged man what's what's his name jeffrey tambor jeffrey tambor in drag i just it was hard it was very hard and they and god bless that show the more you watched it the more it didn't seem weird but if you didn't you didn't you're a total outsider you didn't know anything like also what's going to be another hit show is uh about this this this patriarch and family is going to be trans. Oh, what actor are you thinking of? Oh, the one who plays Hank Kingsley. I don't think that's a good idea.

Yeah. I don't think people are going to be on board that. Yeah. It was good, though. Yeah. The song this week is from Emmett Hall. Fantastic. Nice.

Really nice. Thank is from Emmett Hall. Fantastic. Nice. Really nice. Thank you, Emmett. And if you want to send songs or banners in for our show, we are now on our third year, and every week we've had a song, an original song and an original poster. Send them to FitzDogRadio at gmail.com. We love your submissions and appreciate you.

Are we not in our fourth year? Is it fourth? Oh, it started during the pandemic. So we started around January 2020. So you're right. It's four years and a month. I got to lock down those dates, I realized. Like, you know, we have 9-11 and, you know,

you have these dates in your head. It's a little blurry to me when the pandemic started, but it was April 2020? No. March. I remember I had a St. Patrick's Day show that was canceled because of the pandemic and it was canceled four days before the show. So around March 13th is when the real lockdown started. All right.

Yeah, I'm Googling it. You remember we had our final dinner. We knew it was going to be our final dinner. Yeah. And it was a whole gang of us went to Cha-Cha Chicken by the beach. And it was an outdoor cafe. And Zach Galifianakis came, but he wouldn't get out of his car. He just pulled up and he rolled down his window and hung out with us for 20 minutes.

I know. He wasn't really afraid. He just had kind of missed dinner. Oh, I thought he was afraid. Well. I think he was afraid. I'm looking up Cha-Cha Chicken. And yeah, because it was, we knew it was probably March 18th.

I'm guessing the cha-cha chicken. I don't have it here somehow. I don't know what happened. Anyway. I also got some tour dates coming up. La Jolla. My final night in La Jolla is tonight at the comedy store and then Hollywood improv St. Patrick's day show, March 16th.

Mike Gibbons will be performing stand-up comedy. I'll do a short thing. It's not going to go well. You talked about bombing on the last podcast and how much it hurts. This sounds like the biggest brag ever, but I haven't ever really. I also lower the bar so much that I'm not a stand-up and everyone's so kind. But, yeah, I read. I'm a a stand-up and everyone's so kind. I'm a writer up there, really, reading ideas.

It may be my first bomb, so it's going to be interesting. I would love that. I would love that. I would be dying in the back. I told you about that show last week that I bombed at at Emerson, but the guy that opened for me, Jacob Feldman, who's a great comic. he's a young

guy I've been mentoring him for probably eight years I've been helping this kid out he's getting stronger and stronger he you think I bombed this kid was dying and I was laughing my ass off partly at a nervous laughter that like I was about to walk into that same shit yeah he was in um also did come into boca raton florida april 3rd tampa florida april 4th through the 6th and then mamaroneck new york may 31st tickets at fitzdog.com we also want to tell you that sunday papers is supported by game time yes sir you always get frustrated when you're looking for tickets because you think that you waited too long. And a lot of times what game time shows you

is that ticket prices can go down and they can let you know and you can take advantage of flash deals and zone deals, whether you're talking about comedy, theater, live music. They got it all. That was my game always was waiting, waiting. I remember buying Dodge when it was pretty new. I remember apps like that.

I remember buying Dodger tickets in the parking lot, but you had to jump through so many hoops. The other sites or apps weren't set up for people that liked gaming the system like that. And along comes game time who knows exactly how to do it. And we love them. All right, so I just popped up Los Angeles on the app. We got Nuggets at Lakers tomorrow.

I guess this is a – I guess it's heating up a little bit. Well, this guy on the Nugget, I don't know anything about basketball, but I read an article about one of the players. He must be the center. The guy's huge. He's from Eastern Europe. Everybody who knows basketball is screaming at their radio right now. I guess he's the biggest thing

in the NBA. Pay to see the freak! Pay to see the freak! I think he won the MVP twice or something. You'd see 183 to go to Nuggets at Lakers tomorrow. You'll watch that. That'll go down. I like pressing the Discover button because it tells me also what's going on in town.

Here come the Stones coming up. We got baseball coming up. We got the Gold Cup Mexico. What is this one? Mexico versus Paraguay. When is that? March 3rd, 2 p.m. Nikola Djokic, a Serbian.

He's nicknamed the Joker. Regarded as one of the greatest players and centers of all time. And one of the greatest draft steals in NBA history. I think they got him for almost no money. And one of the greatest draft steals in NBA history. I think they got him for almost no money. But he comes from this town where they've like, they got this program where they have produced all these amazing players from Serbia.

So I'm sorry, is the sponsor Serbia or Game Time? Oh, sorry, go ahead. Anyway, you are going to get last minute deals, flash deals, zone deals. It's easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event. You get the views from the seats. One of my favorite things about it is the price you see is the total that you'll pay, unlike every other one where it's like, oh, that looks like a steal.

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Again, create an account and redeem code PAPERS for $20 off. Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed. Also, support for Sunday Papers comes from Delete Me. And Delete Me is... Yes, please. There is a time and a place for a business to emerge, and this is it. Delete Me, I mean,

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Use promo code papers at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to joindeleteme.com slash papers and enter cone papers at checkout j o i n d e l e t e m e.com papers there we go nice real nice should we get to this oscar ballot that you're so excited about we're gonna go through the oscar picks i have my nerdy meanwhile

i'm not even into these Oscars at all. Hasn't this felt, and I know the strikes delayed it, hasn't this felt like the longest awards season? And it's why they hate us. This self-congratulatory, it's just all the vanity. I hate

it. Anyway, I love it. Let's fill out the app. All right. I mean, the ballot, I i mean let's do the ballot greg best picture we're gonna start with that one uh well it's funny now they nominate pretty much every movie that was made in 2023 there's like 10 pictures six seven eight ten there used to be like five and now i think the publicist got in and they go well we want our picture to be nominated so you gotta so they broaden it out but really there's only a few in contention i'm gonna read i'm gonna read all of them and we'll just be like some will

just be like okay so american fiction did you see it saw it liked it Not a winner. Exactly. Anatomy of a Fall. Loved it. But it's too foreign. Loved it. And I think the writer should have known what happened at the end. And the writer doesn't even know. Barbie. Barbie was a jaunt. It was like a sugar high.

I think people got excited about it. But it doesn't stay with you. No. It didn't stay with me even when it was happening. The Holdovers. Fantastic movie. It's already been made. Dead Poets Society. Saw it. Move on. Could have been an after school

special. I love Giamatti. Don't get me wrong. Yes. I don't think Alexander Payne is that funny so the funny moments kind of rub me the wrong way. You know what? I started watching, by the way, and we'll talk about this another time, but I'm committed, man. I'm going to fucking finish The Wire.

God damn it. Oh. I will come over and binge watch it with you anytime. Okay, I watched four yesterday with my stupid fucking cold in bed. Oh my God, it's so bingey. I'm only on season two, which everyone says is the worst season.

But when he tries to be funny, it doesn't work that well. But I excuse him. You know he's British, right? No. Simon? The lead of The Wire is British. Oh, no, no, no. Him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I thought you meant the creator. Okay, he was Baltimore journalist.

Okay, here we go. Killers of the Flower Moon. That's a huge contender. It won't win. I think it should. I think people have such a problem with long movies these days. You mean Killer of My Afternoon? Yeah, I do. When it works, I'm sorry, when it's Lawrence of Arabia, I didn't think it was too long. And it was longer than Killers of the Flower Moon, I think. I was fine with the length. I thought it was one of his great movies.

I would vote for it, but I don't think it's going to win. Well, you're a size queen. You like everything pretty long. Maestro. Ugh, walked out. Haven't seen it yet. If it wins, it's going to win by a nose. Yeah, see here, we're going to make a movie here.

We're going to make some music. You got that? Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke. By the way, and I know Bill Burr has talked about it a lot, and so has Chappelle, but the selective targeting of who's co-opting other cultures. I mean, was it not old Jewish guys who's like, uh, co-opting other cultures. And I mean, was it not old Jewish guys who were like,

Hey, I got a Brit. I haven't seen the movie. And I, I should say, I don't know what I'm talking about right now, but is, um, is,

uh, what, what's the, what's the, yeah, maestro, but is, um,

the goddamn musical. Why am I spacing out the jets versus the West side but is the goddamn musical. Why am I spacing out? The Jets versus the- West Side Story? Is West Side Story a bunch of old Jewish guys who said, let's take Romeo and Juliet and put it up in Spanish Harlem in those areas. And who will they be? Well, Puerto Ricans. And what's their thing?

They love knives. They love knives. And then what's the other gang? You know, oh yeah, they're fucking mix and there's a mix cop and there's other. And it was just cliche fest. Yes. And so fucking stupid. I got outraged in West Side Story.

Love West Side Story. I can sing every word. What is the Puerto Rican girl? What's going to be her role? What's the Puerto Rican role? Oh, she's going to get pregnant, obviously. I can sing every word I can sing every word to every song what's going to be her role what's the Puerto Rican role oh she's going to get pregnant obviously so now let's just connect the dots to our fucking cliched stereotypical and these old

Jewish guys are going to write in the voice of these Puerto Ricans and everything and now suddenly the guy who wrote it can't be depicted by somebody who's not Jewish no and then Killers of the Flower Moon, there was also a lot of people saying that that was cultural appropriation because why is Scorsese direct? You know, I don't know.

I thought it was a good movie. Whatever. No, you know, that's where it gets weird with history. Like I'm being told I have this idea that it involves World War II, but I'm being told like, oh, no, you need a Japanese partner in this because you can't be writing this. I'm like, what?

I'm like, so Doris Kearns can't write about our founding fathers because she's a woman? Like, what are you fucking talking? You have to be that person to write about a historical occurrence? It's crazy. Is that the end of the podcast? I'm out of steam.

Oppenheimer. That's the winner I'm out of steam Oppenheimer that's the winner Oppenheimer's the winner it's been winning everything at all the other award shows and that's and Hollywood takes their cues from the Golden Globes and the Writers Guild Awards and the SAG Awards and it's gonna win

I'll also say it's the best movie I saw Past Lives nope I saw Past Lives and I read it. I went on Reddit and it was good. And I went on Reddit and someone, this woman goes, all right, listen, it was good, but I showed up here to cry and it didn't really get me the way I wanted to. Anyway, everyone was dying, laughing. One comment down is, then the movie you should have showed up for is Us and Them, which I talked about last week. Us and Them is another, it's subtitled, it's another foreign movie about the same thing like, what could it have been? And it is, when you see Us and Them compared to past lives, it's like seeing a rather simple portrait and then an amazing piece of art.

All right, listen, this isn't Siskel and Ebert. Let's rip through these. Poor things. No. I already said the winner. I already said the winner. Okay, I'm last one because I think I might watch it tonight. Zone of Interest.

Have you seen it? Didn't see it. Not interested. Best director. Zone of not interested. I'm going to read them really fast, rapid fire. Best director. You got Glazer, Zone of Interest.

You got Lanthimos, Poor Things. You got Nolan Oppenheimer, Scorsese, Killers. Nolan will win. Scorsese's in second place, I'm guessing, but Nolan will win. Newsflash for Greg, there is no second place. Actress in a leading role. Annette Banning for Niaad. Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon.

Sandra for Anatomy of a Fall. Carrie Mulligan, Maestro. Emma Stone, Poor Things. I think Emma Stone will come in second. I think the winner will be Gladstone, the woman from Killer of the Flower Moon, because she was great and she's a little ethnic and they like that.

All right, we are the same thing, Killer of the Flower Moon because she was great and she's a little ethnic and they like that. All right. We are the same thing, although I have to say Emma Stone was – That's what I heard. I didn't love Poor Things. Yeah. She's unbelievable in it. Yeah. Okay.

Actor in a leading role. Cooper, Coleman Domingo, Paul Giamatti, Cillian Murphy. Is it Cillian? Jeffrey Wright. Cillian Murphy. He's on fireian? Jeffrey Wright. Cillian Murphy. He's on fire. 60 Minutes did a profile on him. He's got another big movie that's coming out.

He's the guy right now. I'm going to go Jeffrey Wright. Oh, he was fucking great in that. And I'm not going to explain why. God, he was great in that. All right. Okay, so Mike Gre Greg. Alright, we finally have a difference. Actress

in a supporting role. Emily Blunt, Danielle Brooks, American Ferrara, Jodie Foster, Divine Joy Randolph from The Holdover. She won the Golden Globe. Emily Blunt. You really like white

people in most of these things. That's right. No, I just picked a Native American woman, Gladstone. No, I know that was one. I'm going to go, all right, so that's you. Shit, I want to differ from you, though. I don't think Emily Blunt's, I don't think she's going to get it. I think Divine's going to get it.

Oh, there you go. Strong choice. I can see that happening. Jeffrey Wright, Divine. There's a pattern. Actor in a supporting... By the way, this is commentary on Hollywood and how fearful they are here. And they were great in these roles. Don't get me wrong, but I don't think Emily Blunt,

who was also... I don't know. I don't think she was as great, actually. Actor in a supporting role. Sterling K. Brown. Robert De Niro. Robert Downey Jr. Ryan Gosling. Mark Ruffalo.

Robert De Niro. I am wondering when the voting was cut off. Because if it was after the Golden Globes, no one would vote for Ryan Gosling again. But I think the same thing might happen. Boy, what happened with Ryan Gosling again. But I think the same thing might happen. Boy, what happened with Ryan Gosling? He was the only actor to win for Barbie.

None of the women won. Oh, no shit. That's hilarious. I love it. I love it. Maybe Ferraro has won something, maybe. I don't know. But Margot Robbie did not win. That's hilarious. She deserved it. Great feat. I don't know. But Margot Robbie did not win. That's hilarious.

She deserved it. Great feat. I'm going to go Ryan Gosling. Yeah. All right. We're differing on a lot now. Original screenplay, Anatomy of a Fall, The Holdover's Maestro, May-December, Past Lives. Past Lives.

Shit. It's either that or Anatomy of a Fall, which would come in second you're thinking uh you already criticized the ending of anatomy of a fall so you can't vote for that no but people are not caring and they think that's because it's very french it's like it's up to you you know here's my script but it's like it's art i will answer no questions what do you think yeah what i think i think you should do more work. But past lives, they're both foreign. Yeah. I'm going to go past lives also

because I don't think we can stop this Asian, I was going to say tidal wave. That's the wrong thing. This momentum. Asian films have been killing it in Hollywood in awards. Adapted screenplay,

American fiction, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things, The Zone of Interest. Opp fiction barbie oppenheimer poor things the zone of interest oppenheimer yeah i'm gonna go that also you know what i think he did and i do think when i saw oppenheimer it was hard to follow the bomb uh he delayed the bomb even though a third of the movie's timeline took place after the bomb.

He delayed the bomb as much as he could. I thought that was... Well, that's how the book I read the book, actually, before the movie came out. And I thought it did a pretty good job covering it. Obviously, there's a lot of stuff that was left out and there was a lot of stuff that was romanticized, but

I thought the timing the pacing was similar to the book then it shouldn't win sounds like the book should win right international feature uh should we skip that we don't need to do all that oh you're not gonna go for low capitano i think we're done animated feature i don't care documentary how about this i love this you have to vote based on the title documentary feature you ready yeah bobby wine the people's president the eternal memory four daughters to kill a tiger 20 days in maripol 20 days in maripol. Shit, I was going to say that too. Fuck. Because you've heard of it. That's the one you've heard of. NPR just did a piece on it, yeah.

I'm doing it there because I think we're going to bet money. Alright, original score. You ready? American Fiction, Indiana Jones, Killers of the Flower Moon, Oppenheimer, Poor Things. I don't know the music, any of those. Did he do, did Hans Zimmer, he works with,

did Hans Zimmer do Oppenheimer? Yeah, I'm going to say Oppenheimer, just because it's going to sweep. Oh, good. I'm going with a different one. I think Robbie Robertson is nominated for Killer. Oh, shit. Okay.

No, or maybe, or was he musical like the guy who picked the song? No, I'm sticking to that. You can't. Original song, forget it. Cinematography. El Conde. I should see El Conde. It was up before, too.

Killers of Flower Moon. Maestro. Oppenheimer. Poor Things. Killer of Flower Moon. I'm going oppenheimer oh yeah because they shot so many things practical yeah you're right i'm switching no i'm switching no you're not no no you can't switch based on my intel uh forget you want to do costume design we know all of them we're done we're done people have already people are now listening to fucking uh will will what's his name and the other two bozos jason and will they're listening to those guys now guys got 100 million dollars what was that called

you don't want to do editing no all right let's get to the front page hold on i want to do one one more fun category we've heard of none of them okay hey sweetie i'm doing the podcast it's documentary short you ready we just have to go on names the abcs of book banning the barber of little rock island in between between The Last Repair Shop, Nai Nai, and Waipo? I'm going to go with The Book Shop. I'm going with Nai Nai and Waipo. Yeah, that's who I was going to go with. Alright, moving on.

I better roll down. It's going to be right here for our next podcast in 40 weeks. Front page, give me a crinkle. Here we go. Extra! Extra! Extra! We all have bought it!

Extra! Someone got impatient on the movie picking. Well, I just don't know how much people give a shit about us picking movies. They give a shit about the rest of it? Oh, how much are we betting, by the way? Oh, yeah. How about a 20? Okay, 20 bucks.

Because that's enough to bum me out if I lose that to you. Yeah. Actually, I would lose even if it was a handshake. I'd be bummed out. Okay, so I tried to pick some evergreen stories, which are stories that are not day and date and very topical. So this one I found. My parents' dementia seemed like the end of joy.

Then came the robots. Okay. That is either a uplifting headline, which is what the story is, or that could be the most doom and gloom. Like I thought it couldn't get any worse. Then came the robots. Okay. I, I pasted a lot in here cause I thought it was interesting. So my mom was finally officially diagnosed with dementia in 2020. My sister and I had already figured out that my father also had dementia. He had became shouty and impulsive and his short-term memory had vaporized. We didn't even bother getting him diagnosed. Okay, maybe that's why he's shouty and impulsive. Yeah. If it's a slam dunk, isn't

there a, isn't it a doctor's visit? Yeah. I think, uh, especially since when you get older, look, everybody's brain starts to go. Everything you described i completely have and so what's the line where you know it's dementia and then i heard it's actually a cat scan they can look at your brain and see dementia did you know that no i think i think they do see that oxygen it's not getting bringing parts and i don't know what i'm talking about parts of the brain are not getting oxygenated there's like uh here here's a good word there's no activity nothing's firing out there I can't remember shit I don't remember anybody's name I I do crossword every day I do sudokus I exercise I don't know what else I'm supposed to do for my brain it's just going

yeah I die I mean you'll just fade to death but you know I told you when I for my brain. It's just going. Yeah. I die. I mean, you'll just fade to death, but you know, I told you when I got my brain, I got a brain scan. Did I tell you about that? When? So I call the most innocent call ever. I call the, I'll move this story along, but I call our general, our place that our union, you know, and usually it's like, yeah, there's an appointment like a week and a half from now or a week from now. So I said, you know, I'm smelling a cigarette smoke in the office. And, but people are saying there isn't, they're like, please hold. And, and I'm like, well, I'm like, okay. All of a sudden, Hey Michael, um, this is, uh, the, uh, whatever the elevated nurses, like it's like nurse, this is a nurse practitioner. And can you describe that? Okay. Can you come in today? I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm literally at my job.

And I'm like, no, no, it's not a big deal. I think the guys in animation, the animators are smoking. It's coming through my air duct. They're like, yeah, yeah, but you should come in anyway. So it's called olfactory hallucinations, right? Anyway, winds up with a brain scan. The whole reason I tell this story is a unbelievably impressive, buttoned up, beautiful Asian woman doctor, a brain doctor is looking at her computer and she goes, all right, well, it's good because they thought it might be, I forget if it's a stroke or a...

Well, yeah, they say if you smell toast. I mean, that's always been the big thing. No, but it's not a stroke. There was a very interesting thing separating the two. It was a seizure. I think a seizure is when you see, hear, or you sense things that aren't there. And a stroke is when you don't, when you can't sense things that are there. That's probably very barbaric,

but it's something like that. Anyway, she's like, no, no, I, it doesn't look like you've had seizures or, you know, might, there are little micro seizures that can throw off all of a sudden I smell something that's not there. And I'm like, okay. And then I'm like you, I mean, everyone on this, every listener knows we are demented and we, it's a comedy of errors. What we cannot remember and where we just get stymied on just simple sentences where we can't remember the word. And so I go to her, I go, uh, how does the rest of it look like? I mean, are things I know you can tell now are things firing.

And so she looked at it. I'm not supposed to ask that i'm there for one reason and it's what it says on the paper and she's a rigid rigid like professional and she looks at it and goes yeah yeah it looks good like that's it yeah yeah like uh basically what i heard almost literally what i heard was uh that's on a need-to-know basis. Yeah, right, right, right. And you don't need to know what I'm saying. Just keep living.

Go outside and have some fun. Go play with the truck. It was weird when she said goodbye. She's like, hug your kids today. That was weird. Okay, so this whole story is about social robots. The article said the torso and limbs are chubby and white. It seems to be naked except for the briefs below its pot belly.

And at this point, I think they're talking about her mom. And then, although it does not have nipples, It is only two feet tall. Its face, a rectangular screen, blinks on. Two black ovals and a manga smile. I don't know the word manga. Manga smile appear. Hello, I'm QT, your robot friend, it says.

Alright. Anyway, it says this to everyone because that's its job. QT raises both arms in a touchdown gesture. The motors were. So, Greg, we have to make a bond. If I ever see this robot and look at you confused, you just have to slice my neck open.

Okay, fair enough. I'll take the same thing. If my family, they're in fucking Boca Raton having fun with the grandkids and I'm sitting at home with a fucking vacuum cleaner blinking at me, bullet in the head on the spot. If all of a sudden one day I join this Zoom and you're like, my family, we're going to do a three person, a three hander podcast. My family wants the robot to be here. I will rush over to your house and kill you. I'll tell you what though, there are a lot of lonely old people

and if this brings them comfort, God bless. Not only that, this thing will tell you, will remind you to take your medication. It will tell you every two hours, stand up and walk for five minutes. I mean, this is, I think this is fantastic. I love it. So this is a long article. Get this. You'd like this then because there's all of that. And then they're saying this one's different.

This one isn't about that. It's not like a, you know, like a taskmaster and all that stuff, which keeps people on track. No doubt. This is more social and there's a storytelling game between the person and the machine. And eventually QT will retain enough information to make the game personalized for each patient.

And it evolves its conversational skills and responses to people except anyway, and it makes it so they'll accept a robot. Um, and cause a lot of them are confusing or they appear rude to people who accept it anyway. And it makes it so they'll accept a robot because a lot of them are confusing or they appear rude to people. Well, think about it. Think about the average conversation between a grandchild or even a child

of a very old person. You're going to talk about the weather, which this fucking thing will be able to get on the internet and talk about the weather. You're going to get updates. It's going to log on to the Facebook pages of your grandkids and be able to get on the internet and talk about the weather. You're going to get updates. It's going to, it's going to log onto the Facebook pages of your grandkids and be able to tell you what they're doing, what they're saying, read you their tweets. I mean, as if it's a conversation, I mean, it's, it's great. I love it. And with AI now you could be, you know,

literally you'd be like, how do we think the Red Sox are going to do this year? And it'll have an articulate answer weighing all the injuries and you know it'll be like you know asking someone who's super smart in that area right but i love this they're like um it's talking about uh the challenge for the robot because like people with dementia can be a tough audience no it's true they get nasty they get but there'll be a tough audience until that till that fucking nine inch dildo comes out and then they'll be like i i love qt well that's what people think who write us right into the show that that we're a tough audience these two demented hosts oh god all right next. This is what I talked about last week.

Some of these stories are like the clickbait, right? But I'm going to quiz you. So it said, nine thing therapists do when they feel lonely. Oh. Now, I will state in advance, this is a boring list. Have you seen those accounts on Instagram, by the way, where people, a woman goes, you'll never guess what, and all of a sudden a guy comes on in bed, he's way, where people, a woman goes, you'll never guess what, and all of a sudden a guy comes on and Betty's like, she found her dog

in the thing. And then it puts up time saved. Right. Like it saved you three minutes. Yeah. That's funny. She never tells you the secret ingredient, like, or whatever it is. Yeah.

All right. So I'll spoil this by saying, don't think too hard. So nine things therapists do when they feel lonely. I think you're going to do very well on this because you've gotten this advice. Okay. I would say, uh, call a friend.

All right. Now I have to scan the goddamn thing. Uh, yes, I'm sure that's on there. I think, uh, friend,

uh, walk in your neighborhood. Okay, so yes, send a voice text. So they try to mix it up a little bit. Yes, okay. Then what? Take a walk in your neighborhood. Go people watching.

Yep. Take a yoga class. Do a, yes yes it's here join an easy group class yep visit family well flip through old photos go up here try

something oh I'm reading them now that's weird it didn't say that adopt a dog it says cuddle a pet right Now, that's weird. It didn't say that. Adopt a dog. It says cuddle a pet. Right. Masturbate. That's the first one.

But not yourself. That's when you're people watching a stranger. Nothing makes you lonelier than jerking off. No, come on. You, well, jerking off. No, come on. Well, jerking off can fall under this general category. You know some of these for depression. It's the same thing. Journal.

Yes. Meditate. Yes, exactly. Do a five-minute loving kindness meditation. Write a list of things you're grateful for. Gratitude list. Try something new was one connect with yourself that's it that's that one you got all of them there was one though and it's not a joke I apologize it was

do what you used to love as a kid I already said masturbate yep you did but like this one person remembered like they really loved swimming like in the neighborhood pool when they were little or something. Isn't it amazing how much you loved jerking off as a kid and that you loved a lot of stuff as a kid? Maybe comic books, maybe watching the Mets. But over the years, the Mets had a few bad seasons. watching the Mets. But over the years,

the Mets had a few bad seasons. I'm going to take a little break from baseball. I feel too old for comic books. Jerking off stays right by your side all these years. I never became a fair weather fan of that activity. Nope. Nope.

The most consistent thing besides eating and shitting that I have done in my entire life. Exercise, go in spurts. Meditation goes in spurts. But God, the old faithful. I mean, you're saying the word spurts. Yep.

All right, let's get to Make America Florida. Here we go. Golfers dive in to rescue Florida woman after she flips car into golf course pond. A Toyota Corolla was found overturned in a pond on the north side of the road. Nearby golfers dived into the water to help. That's like hanged. After investigation, 21-year-old Gabrielle Barbaris was charged with

driving under the influence. You think? At least you have an excuse for your game that day. That's why we're out here, to get away from them. these women are driving mccrae's uh now would you blindly this is actually a good question jump into a florida pond uh absolutely not i we had a house in florida my we had this little tiny house in florida that my dad

bought as an investment and we used to go visit but there were there was a pond out back and there was a 12-foot alligator they named carmichael and i didn't leave the fucking house i'm like what where are we living where what are we in cambodia fuck this i just watched mtv inside that was our whole vacation. Yeah. I'm not joking. I imagined it. Like, I don't know what it looked like, of course, right? If it seemed safe and it was shallow, I'd run right, you know, especially the thing was upside down,

and my assumption is she's starting to drown. But I honestly think we would both run up, and I would say, grab an iron, grab a club and cover me. Yeah. Right. But, but my, my, one of my first thoughts would be, you gotta keep an alligator away from me. All they need is a limb. It doesn't even have to be a big one. It's going to so easily tear off my hand and that's best case scenario. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, I don't know how much they go on the attack if there's activity in the water, but you do think once you get her out, though,

she's your buffer. She's the... Suddenly you're like a waiter at a cocktail party. Care for some old lady? Care for some drunken old lady? Oh, yeah. No, once I got her, you could put down the club.

I don't really care anymore. As it's swimming towards me, I'm going to hold out her hand and wave at it with her arm. Right. My hand's going to be on her elbow as I flap her hand in front of the thing. Yeah, I got no sympathy for a woman

that's so drunk she drives into a fucking pond. You know what I mean? I do want to hear more about this story like what was like her boyfriend on the course was her married boyfriend on the course why was she driving on a golf course yeah there was a comic in boston i think it was don gavin who said uh he goes i got i got i got pulled over for drunk driving, and they kind of had me because it was the Coast Guard. That's fantastic. Let's make Georgia, Florida. Here we go.

I love this story. A Georgia man impersonating police officer pulls out fake badge and attempts to arrest the real cops. Yes. Sean Brown was seen walking in the middle of the road last week and disrupting traffic. When Marietta police officers approached him and tried to speak with him,

he pulled out a metal badge with the words special police displayed on it and told the officers they were under arrest for assaulting an officer. So it's fascinating to me. It's like, okay, you have a fake badge. There's one rule.

Who do you not pull it out in front of? Yeah, right. I don't know. My family? Nope. I'll give you another guess. This is a guy who, as a little boy, dreamed of being a police officer and kind of forgot a step along the way. The Academy.

I also thought of your confidence. I mean, the confidence on the guy. You know, just being like, they might go for this. I'm going to see if this works. I might arrest these cops. No, it's a little bit like when they say a shark comes at you. Square off against the shark. Punch in the nose. Exactly. That's what's happening

here. You're under arrest. Let's go down to science and technology. Alright, here it is. technology. All right, here it is. Okay, what do we got? Neurodegenerative. If you can't say that word, you may have a neurodegenerative disorder. We have no business doing this story. Afflicts millions of individuals across the US. However, a groundbreaking discovery by researchers suggests a promising avenue for tackling these devastating conditions.

Used coffee grounds. The research team has unveiled a potential game changer in the fight against neurodegenerative diseases. Their work centers around caffeic acid from coffee grounds. All right, so look. Does the robot serve them to you? Yeah, right. It is

protection to brain cells against the damage triggered by various factors, including obesity, aging, and exposure to toxic environmental chemicals. I don't know about obesity obesity because if you're trying to trim down, whenever I get a cup of coffee, got to get the muffin. Nine out of 10 times, if it's in the window, glazed donut, I'm getting it.

Yeah. Also, coffee, is this a groundbreaking discovery? Because coffee, there's a million studies that say there might be a link to improving, you know, the Alzheimer's scenario for you. That's how I speak science. So what do you do with used coffee grounds? I assume it's anal? Yeah, right? Yeah.

Yeah. What are you doing with this? By the way, this is to help Parkinson's. Yeah, my Parkinson's is acting up. Can you hand me that hot cup of coffee? You haven't cleaned out the Mr. Coffee yet, have you? Can you just bring over the uh filter the wet soaking disgusting brown filter that'll ruin everything if i drop it

will you pick up my prescriptions at walgreens and dunkin donuts um all right let's get to business here we go. Yes, I love this story when I saw it. The title was The Empty Adderall Factory, and they had pictures of it. There's been a national shortage of ADHD medication. There's multiple overlapping causes, manufacturing, labor issues, supply chain, blah, blah, blah. But this company, Ascent, claims there's's another factor which is the shutdown by the drug enforcement administration ascent produced 12 percent of the country's generic version of adderall and also large amounts of concerta ritalin and vines vive by vance sorry by vance

inside a sense 320 000 square foot factory a labyrinth of sterile white hallways connects 105 manufacturing rooms and in each room teams of topless women just crunching adderall and methamphetamine into pills for the rest of the country Anyway, it goes on to point out that this thing, like for instance, the CEO was in one of these rooms and there was this hulking unit that he says is worth 1.5 million. I mean, that's how much it cost. But that one machine produced the Concerta tablets. And he said about 25% of the generic market would pass through that machine. No shit. And it didn't make a single pill in 2023.

Whoa. Yeah. I heard one of the reasons why it's happening is because, well, I know the trademark or whatever they call it on Adderall. Patent or patent? Yeah. Copyright or patent? The patent expired a year or two ago. And so suddenly the prices went down and there's less incentive to produce it because the price has gone down so much.

Privatize, privatize. It always works out for the middle and the bottom. And then it's also a cycle because once the factory stops making it, then all the people in the factory that are on it aren't getting it. They're working less hard. Vicious circle. It's terrible. Yeah. What is this one?

Well, Kellogg's CEO Gary Pilnick has offered a controversial solution for cash-strapped families who are struggling to afford their grocery bills, just eat cereal for dinner. Quote, the cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be great destination when consumers are under pressure. If you think about the cost of cereal for a family versus what they might do otherwise, it's going to be much more affordable. versus what they might do otherwise, it's going to be much more affordable.

Pillnick's comments sparked a backlash online with many Americans branding the rich CEO tone deaf. One TikTok user said, this is Kellogg's version of let them eat cake, using a phrase often attributed to the last queen of France, Marie Antoinette. Do you remember that? I remember that line, let them eat cake. That's what this fucking ass, do you know what cereals Kellogg's makes Fruit Loops, Apple Jacks Frosted Flakes, Sugar Pops

let's let this motherfucker eat nothing but cereal for one month and then let's take a look at him if he's even alive yeah it's like let them eat cake but with more sugar than cake. Right. Cake is health food compared to this shit.

We'll probably get corrections. And you studied French, but apparently what she said was worse. I think she said let them eat shit. No shit, really? Yeah, I'm not kidding. Well, cake in French is gâteau. And now I'll get corrections.

Gâteau? I think cake in French is gâteau. And now I'll get corrections. Gâteau? I think French, cake and French is gâteau and shit is mailed. Right. I don't know. We can look it up. How about this? Someone correct us. We're inviting.

The first time ever we're inviting a correction. Set the story straight on what Marie Antoinette said. What's the exact translation? And what are the theories? Because I think it's a gray area. Otherwise, it would have been solved. This day in history. Here we go.

Speaking of history. Okay, so last week, as we know, I read Today's Day in History for March 10. And now I'm going to read March 3rd. So basically, these two weeks are going to be this week in history. Well, last week in history. That's what this really would be. Okay, let's see what we got here. Oh, you see, he died.

I wonder when he did. All right, hold on, hold on. Let me find a good one here. I should look at these ahead of time, but I don't. Okay. Following a high-speed car chase, Los Angeles police officers brutally beat Rodney King, an African-American tourist. Despite a videotape of the beating, the policemen were acquitted, causing large-scale rioting in the city.

So the rioting happened on this day of what year? And I'm going to give you plus or minus one year. Oh, God. You have a three- year window to get this. 93. You got it. 91. Nice.

Yeah. Yeah. That was a big day. Sure was. Jesus. That was a turning point. Poor, uh, Bruce Willis.

So for him, we're going to, in his declining health, but this is the first episode of the sitcom Moonlighting. Oh. Aired on American television on this week. In what year?

I'll give you, you weren't, but Buffy, you were about 15 years off. Yeah. Buffy the Vampire Star. So I'm going to give you plus or minus five years for Moonlighting. 1980. God damn it, I should have said four.

1985. Oh, nice. I'm on fire today. Which I can make an argument that's out of, maybe not. All right, here we go. American bank robber John Dillinger made a daring escape from prison at Crown Point, Indiana on this day. I'm going to give you plus or minus 10 years. 1895. That's why I gave you 10.

It is shockingly recent. 1934. No way. Really? Yeah. I pictured a stagecoach for some reason. Hold on now. Oh, my God.

There's not a lot here. John Dillinger. See, sometimes sometimes look juicy like here's one on horton foot and i thought it was gonna be when he won the oscar or wrote to kill a mockingbird but then it just says like when did he die in connecticut um that's why they're tricky he died in connecticut in in 2008. What the fuck? 2009. His daughter is a good friend of mine. Daisy.

Daisy Foot. Yeah, but you're not great. You're not a great friend. No, we're pretty good friends. I know. I know. Okay. Okay.

The Boston Massacre. Harassed by a mob. British troops on this week in this year, open fire killing Christmas Atticus addicts, sorry, addicts and four others in the Boston massacre, an event that galvanized anti-British feelings in the lead up to the American revolution,

give or take two years, 1773. I love it. 1770. the American Revolution, give or take two years. 1773. I love it. 1770. Damn it. Yep. Okay.

All right, last one. American country and western singer Patsy Cline, who was one of the classic performers of the genre, like I fall to pieces and crazy, she died in a plane crash at the age of 30. In what year? I'm going to give you plus or minus nine years. She died at the age of 30.

I'm going to say she died in 1972. You fuck. 1963. Oh. I gave you nine years. You got it. Oh, wow. You fuck. 1963. Oh. I gave you nine years. You got it. Oh, wow. All right. Damn it.

I thought I outwitted you on the years. Okay. There we go. All right. Well done. Let's get it down to- Letters to the editor? No, we got to move.

Let's go to obituaries. That's what we're moving to? Yeah, because we got... Here we go. And that's all, folks. Say no more. We're already in obituaries. All right, so since we are trying to figure out the future on this week's Sunday Papers, because we're taping it a week early.

We're going to do who we think is going to die on the week of March 10th. So I went to the death pool website and I picked up the top five people or maybe six people, six people. And you're going to pick from them. And this one we'll do for $10. No, a hundred dollars. If one of them dies by March 10th, the other guy owes the other guy $100. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. We might as well make it till we're back again. So that would be March 17th.

March 17th. Probably recording on the 17th. March 17th. Probably recording on the 16th or the 15th. Right. All right. So by, let's say by March 15th. This is grim, man. This feels dirty. Number one pick is Jimmy Carter, who's a hundred.

Number two pick is Dick Van Dyke, who's 99. Number three pick is Pete Murray. I don't know who that is, but he's 99. Number four is Alan Greenspan, who's 98. Number five is Pope Francis, who's 88. Is there something going on with him? Frank. Is he sick?

And then Ethel Kennedy, who's always a favorite in the death pool. She's 96. I'm going to go with Jimmy Carter. He's in hospice. that's a fucking slam dunk fuck let's see I'm factoring in who's super wealthy and can get like machines to keep them alive

yeah Ethel Kennedy's probably got an oxygen tank up her ass right now yeah but greenspan might have more money than athel kennedy um yeah i i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna go alan greenspan because he had a long run fine and his quantitative easing i didn't quite agree with all right so let's go $100 on that? If one of us hits it, it's $100. Let's cheer up. And you chose

number one. Wait, I don't get odds? He's $100. He's been on hospice for like nine years. This isn't like a Vegas thing. I think he was in hospice and then they let him out of hospice. You picked the oldest guy who's on hospice.

What do you mean there's no, you don't think that their odds would pop up here? All right. You want to take them? No, because I feel too guilty. Okay. I pay you 80. You pay me a hundred. All right. That's fair.

Okay. All right. Let's go to the funnies. Cheer up. Wait, I didn't put a funny in here. Oh, I only put a few in. We'll do them real fast. They weren't.

Oh, you know why? Because I didn't update the Google Doc. So I saw you didn't put any in. All right. I'll find one. I'll find one. I have them right here. So Leroy's talking to Loretta.

Their dinner looks charred. It looks like charcoal on a plate. And he's taking a photograph of it. And he goes, no, not for Instagram. It's evidence. I love it. Uh, the next one, they are watching their wedding video and, uh, Loretta is throwing the bouquet and behind her, there are five women that are diving away from the bouquet. And she goes, this is me tossing the bouquet just after Leroy and I got married. It's like kryptonite.

All right. And now we got Hager the Horrible. They are talking to another couple. Hager and Helga are talking to another couple. And the woman says with her arm around her husband, who has a beret on and a pretentious scarf, she goes, my Lars is a gifted playwright. And then Helga says, Hager is creative with words as well.

Then she looks at him and he goes, tell him about that story you told me about why you came home late last night. And he's like, okay, what do you want? The truth? I saw a woman walking alone down an alley and i was with the boys what do we do honey i'm a fucking viking we talked about this it's my job i'll give you a clue i'm not pillaging late at night yep fill in the blank calga

um okay so here is the far side. Just loaded it. I've actually never seen this one. It is a stranded guy holding onto a piece of wood from his ship. He's in the middle of the ocean. Nothing is anywhere around him. And then there's this little island with a palm tree, and it's probably 12 feet wide. And there's a dog sitting by the palm tree, and there's a sign on the island that says beware of dog that sounds like a dream i i feel like i would have that actual nightmare

and the dog's just staring right at him uh blondie this, I dug deep because once again, they decided to put out six out of the seven comics this week were Dagwood at work, Dagwood at the deli, Dagwood with herb. It's called fucking Blondie. Nobody wants to see Dagwood. Agreed. Do you remember I Love Lucy? Nobody wanted to see Desi Arnaz. Keep the camera on Lucille Ball. And get it off Ethel, for God's sakes. How much older was Ethel than Lucy? Now, I don't know if this is true.

I welcome, again, corrections that there was tension and that Lucy wanted Ethel to maintain an overweight weight. Oh, no shit. Yep. Well. If that's true, I don't know if it is, allegedly. If it's true, that's not cool. Well, it's, oh, no, here we go. Ball insisted that the best way for Ethel

to be relatable to audiences was to be frumpy and a bit overweight. Vance did not fit Ball's mold and idea of Ethel Mertz. Vance had an extensive and successful theater career as a leading lady. Vance was attractive, confident, and at 42 was only two years older than Ball. She looked 15 years older than her. Yep. That's hilarious.

Blondie, let's wrap it out. This is a classic old Blondie, and I put it in there to show the character arc of Dagwood in this series and in this marriage. He comes home. He's looking kind of dapper. He's got a little, what kind of cap would you call that? What kind of hat?

Bowler hat? No, not a bowler hat. I don't know. It know it almost looks like no it's like a fedora type it's like a fedora he's got a bounce in his step he's got his hands coming out towards her and he goes ah it's good to get home to my little wifey she spins around their arm and arm i missed you so today i thought of you all afternoon and she, now she's in his embrace. Do you really love me that much, dear? And now he's looking over his shoulder and he opens the lid of the pot and he goes, you know I do. And then she goes, Dagwood, stop looking at the pan while you're making love to me. And you think, all right, at least he's starting out strong.

Now he would have just gone straight to the pot. There would have been no embrace. You know, you're right. You're right. That is what he would have done. Yeah. Yeah. And she's saying, and she's pointing it out. She's so dead inside 20 years into the marriage

that she wouldn't have cared about him going to the pot because that's just what the fucking guy does. Back then there was still hope. Exactly. And I love how they used to say making love to me i'm just looking at these cans next to the stove right anyway all right well listen we did it we're early but we're here we're sorry it's a short podcast um but you know mike's gonna get to europe and see his daughter. No, we did good.

This Sudafed is like Adderall a little bit. I've been on Ritalin for the last two shows, so I'm good. Now I've got to drive to Huntington Beach, which is two hours with traffic, and do a show. Oh, dude, you're going to crash so hard? I mean, not in your mind, I mean? Then I've got to drive two hours back, sleep, then get in the car and drive two hours to San Diego tomorrow morning.

What? Why? For the day, then drive back two hours that night, do another show tomorrow night in Playa Vista. Then get on a flight the next morning at 7 a.m. and go to Florida for five days to see my mom. Your schedule sounds like mine.

When do you go to Florida? Sunday morning. All right, so this is convenient that we got the next podcast done. Got it done. Love it. Oh, by the way, everyone hearing this, this has already happened. Are you in Florida as this podcast is happening?

I'm speaking, I'm back from Florida. If you survive that craziness and you didn't literally crash on the drive-by. I'll tell you what, here's what I'm going from Florida. If you survive that craziness and you didn't literally crash on the drive-by. I'll tell you what. Here's what I'm going to do. The next Florida man that we do on this show will be me observing a Florida man in the wild. I will bring a Florida man story back.

This is my advice to you. After your mom's asleep, you get in the car, you drive to the nearest 7-eleven you get yourself a slurpee you get yourself some disgusting piece of food you sit in the car and you will see it all happen either that or my mom got us tickets to go see the Yankees play the Florida Marlins in spring training I think there may be some Florida men there. I think so. That one-two punch of Staten Island and Florida. All right.

I will bring back a Florida man, and you bring back an Amsterdam man for the next episode. Oh, yeah. I'll have Amsterdam stories for sure. All right, everybody. Safe travels. Give my love to Sophie yes I will and we will catch you next time

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take care everybody take it eesh take it eesh knowing the news is super important leave it to greg and mike to get it all sorted the sources are suspect but it's good for a laugh the sunday papers sunday papers podcast