Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 208 3/17/24

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

Pornhub is blocked in TX, condoms are blocked in AZ and Neil Young is no longer blocking Spotify. A nude woman does jumping jacks on her lawn, and where the hell is Kate??

Well, it's the Sunday Papers with Mike and Greg. So get out of bed. Sunday Papers. Wow. Three, two, one. Read all about it. Read all about it. Sunday Papers coming to you from the west side of los angeles

home of liberals and libtards and snowflakes and softies and democrats or whatever you want to call us we're here baby i'll tell you what it's sunny out something i didn't get uh in amsterdam we'll talk about that yep but spring is poppy spring spring is popping up all over the place. Spring is I played golf the last three days in a row. Whoa. Yep. All right. Here comes the tease of the show.

Yep. We are going to go over our Oscar results. Listen, all I can tell you is it's really close. Our picks on the ballot of who won. You had an impressive one though. I will say, I think best actress, but we'll get to that. We got the St. Paddy's day show. We're going to talk about in a second. I saw a really funny half of a movie and I had the wisdom, uh, about three or four scenes in to then fast forward only to half of the movie scenes that's great can't wait to

talk about it and then we have a call we're gonna have a call with an expert on the kate middleton disappearance this isn't a bit this is our friend gail and i guess she even tom o'neill says she's the biggest gossip in the world when it comes to this story, which is saying a lot because Tom O'Neill knows everything. And he says Gail puts him to shame. And she's an Anglophile, which we are not. The royal family, to me, is only interesting in things like this. When things go horribly wrong, I'm very interested. Same.

So I now, it's hard to ignore this story. Yes. Because it's a little weekend at bernie's and uh russia used to do this a lot russia back in the uh 80s would be like no no still alive the guy we haven't seen forever and then eventually like oh he, he just passed. Really? There was a moment there where Putin was disappearing. And then he was, there was a lot of rumors about him being very sick. Remember that? And he was like on an IV drip for long term. Yeah. And I think like Kate Middleton, he had a tummy tuck and a breast lift.

That's right. And then all of a sudden he was shirtless on a horse. Oh, I mean, it really is like uh like she will be it's it's pretty amazing the shape that that guy's in and how manly he is when you look at the two guys that we got you know our two candidates uh yeah although i think putin's slipping which oh yeah you know yeah uh and he's having a little brain fog, I think. Oh, is he also? You know, maybe I'm wrong, but I think I've seen people be like, hey, you know, he's slipping too.

But can you imagine one of us, even at our age, which is 20 years younger than these guys? Like, we'd be like wow wait what am i where am i again yeah oh my god my brain is so bad lately i've turned around your people you haven't let me have a masturbation break in three weeks how do you expect me i have no time to myself yeah um i have had three incidents in the last two months where I show up to a gig and I was supposed to bring a feature act and I forgot to. And then another one six months ago where two feature acts showed up at the same time. So I had to pay one of them out of my pocket. So what do you do when you don't show up with someone?

They get somebody local at the last minute like most comedy clubs have uh door people that are comedians it's kind of like the thing that the comedy store started like if anybody could ever make a documentary about who has worked the door at the comedy store denman maybe you can look that up but i can tell you off top my head mark maron ari shafir um sam kinnison sam kinnison punky johnson he said all right she's on snl um well but you just want that club because clubs generally yeah but i think the store really started it as a as a kind of a minor league and then like to get the job as security at the store you have to audition your stand-up has to be auditioned first wow and so luckily a lot of clubs do that now and so well rogan oh brian

simpson rogan has brought that down there because when I saw Holtzman that time, before you went down there, two guys, and Holtzman had his own show and went on last, two of them were employees. They were wearing the shirts, and they were really good. Right. Yeah. Brian Simpson, he's listening. Yeah, he's great. But I mean, going back, way back, there was a bunch of big names. We'll get back to it. It might take a minute to find. Tonight,. Believe me, this is always a fun idea. And, you know, booking it is a pain in the balls.

And then because you're just asking a favor. I don't know why people consider it a favor. I pay them a lot of money. Don't tell me that. Well, no, you don't. You don't make a lot of money. So I'm doing five minutes. I don't have anything.

I might talk about Amsterdam like I'm going to in a second just because I kind of had a funny take on Amsterdam, but that's how little I got. Do the Mexican MILFs joke. Yeah, I know, but isn't this the same crowd that comes to see me? Yeah, but they love it. They love that joke. All right.

Yeah, at one point I'll probably just be like, all right, you guys want to, you want to hear some jokes to the classics? Like now it's time for the classics. Um, no. And then I always feel like it is, it's the same people.

So I feel like I got to do new material every year, which I have, but a lot of it is filthy and my wife is there and her friends are there. And so I can't do my jokes about having sex with her. Cause it's creepy with her because it's creepy I think it's creepy anyway I think I'm gonna start moving away from sex with my wife jokes now that I'm 57 yeah it could have happened 20 years ago maybe breastfeeding Jesus Christ hey hey people love it they love it I keep it keep it clean. I talk about Mexican milf.

That's right. Very separate. And it's a universally beloved demo. And your daughter wiping her pee and then putting it back on the toilet paper roll. Real classy. That's universal. What's personal is universal. That's what they say to writers.

So I went down. I visited my mom in Florida last week. And oh, boy, it was so Florida. Just a lot of old people complaining. And somebody referred to it as an organ recital, because everybody goes, well, his kidney's bad. Oh, my liver's shot. No, it's a sneak peek so i'm heading there tuesday because my dad's having just a simple thing where they burn his heart it's called an ablation so i'm going down there for that and

uh and so i'll be in a lot of the similar that this medical community in Florida, which is a rip off. It's so corrupt. It's so corrupt. You have to sign up for concierge service. Otherwise they don't answer your calls. And it's three months to see a doctor. Literally. Not only do you pay a copay and a deductible, uh, plus you pay for your insurance, but then you pay about $4,000 a year.

So they take your calls. They call a concierge service down there. I think New York does it as well. A free market, but it's why nothing gets changed. One of the big reasons here in America is because powerful and rich people don't have a problem with the healthcare system in this country. If you're rich, you can get some of the best care in the world. And you'll have insurance and you've probably rigged that. Maybe it's even your own company.

No, it's the people in the middle that get screwed because if you're poor, you get Medicaid and it's actually not bad at all. If you're rich, you get concierge service. If you're someone like me in the middle, I pay $40,000 a year for my insurance and it's got a thousand dollar deductible per person and then tons of co-pays. It's like, I can't fucking afford that. This is crazy. Yeah uh I'll get to Amsterdam in a second but one quick thing we took a boat tour uh the first day and the guy was actually from Ireland with a brogue and but he's lived in Amsterdam for like 15 years he's it's his favorite place in the world and one thing he talked about was taxes and taxes are high there he goes and he goes and I hate it

he goes I have that Irish in me. I just fuck, fuck authority. Fuck you. Like taking half of my paycheck. And he was, and, and, and it came up a bunch. He's like, there's, you know, and he would criticize about like, there's the fucking tax, you know, my tax money at work, like doing things we don't. But by the end he was like, listen, you know, I've made a lot of jokes about taxes. Like the one thing I will say, especially to you Americans, cause I hear so many complaints is i actually don't feel bad about paying taxes he's like we have universal health care we have a great education system and he just listed all of these things he's like so you

actually see your tax dollars at work especially in the form of health care. Like, that is a perk. Just that money you would be paying, like Americans do, you know, so it's another tax that we're paying here. Right. I don't anticipate that universal health coverage would add $40,000 to my tax bill. I think it would be quite a bit less than that. Well, first of all, they're saying it might not hardly add anything at all there's theories and listen i know there's no ideal system but jesus christ

it's we we got to find out some some system no it's broken it's really fucking people up and uh you know without going into a whole long thing about this but like young people if you just crunch the numbers for the possibilities of young people ever owning a home, it's crippling. It's impossible. And meanwhile, BlackRock and all these big corporations are buying single family homes and turning them into rentals. The rents are through the roof and that causes housing prices to go. It's like our kids don't have a fucking chance. Thank God the earth will be ending soon because the environment so we'll be fine yep it's gonna shut us it's gonna shake us off like a dog

coming out of the water it's just gonna get off from me and we're all gonna fly off all right so here's a little koozie debacle oh wait first i want to list the comedians that worked the door at the comedy store ready for this yeah david letter David Letterman, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Michael Keaton, Eric Griffin. Eddie. Mark Maron, and on a minor note, Bobby Lee. But that's a pretty good lineup. That's an amazing list.

Are you kidding me? Yeah. Some of the home run hitters of all time. Yeah. All right. So I am getting my act together. And I felt pretty proud of myself. Like I don't know about you.

You have to go away all the way. So I've been traveling a lot. And I've become so much worse at packing. Like I put it off. I'm like, it's just I used to just throw stuff in a bag. Now it's like, oh yeah, my meds, blah, blah, blah. So anyway, it's just getting harder with age. But this time I had my act together, including, you know what? I'm going away for a week and a half. I got to get out. I got to read all the, the koozie, you know, uh, emails and go on who

hasn't gotten them. Let me take care of all that. I stuff, I got six envelopes and I'm like, I'm, I'm going down on my scooter to rush to LAX, put them in the mailbox, go to the plane, fly out. So that's what I do. I get to the airport. There are the goddamn envelopes and I, and they're chunky. Remember these are chunky. And by the way, I am packed to the gills. Like I can't even slide. So of course in the airport, I go, um, where's there a mailbox? I mean, only by definition, only people who are traveling are in this airport. So postcards, stuff like that. No, there isn't one and i and i've run into that before so now i brought six koozies to amsterdam bruges no you didn't yes i did and uh fuck the u.s stamp u.s stamp is worthless over there so justin in portland oregon patrick in lebanon oregon god i Justin in Portland, Oregon, Patrick in Lebanon, Oregon.

God, I hope I didn't screw up and put two Oregon's. John in Tucson, Arizona. Oh, Jeff in Kenmore, Washington. And two. Good Lord. Carrie, Carrie in Litchfield Park. Carrie tried to get three koozies. She got one.

She's getting a gift for two other people, I think, two dudes. This is the second time I'm sending it, or third time to one of them, second time to the other. And meanwhile, by the way, the envelopes you can see here are a little beat up. Look at the creases. I don't know if they're going to get there now, but fuck it. They're in the mail. Have you considered doing delivery for other companies

yes other people doing what like doing packaging and delivering of merch for other people because it seems like something that's worked out really well for you my my second career yeah i think i could be my act three for sure but it it was kind of like bringing, you know, some people travel with a gnome or that little cutout guy. Listen, I brought your koozies to Amsterdam. You should have taken pictures of you standing in front of whore houses with the koozies. All right. So my little take on Amsterdam, I was over there visiting my oldest daughter, Sophie,

who's a semester abroad there. So after walking around and almost getting killed by bicycles like constantly it's like every time you you're at a corner it's like the pack of kids from et on the bikes is just tearing ass through and lots of old women really old on bicycles and they're not stopping. Uh, and anyway, after a while, I'm like, you know what this city is? Uh, it's like a bunch of 14 year old boys got together and they're like, dude, we're starting a city. Get this. It's all going to be bicycles, man. We're just fucking, it's all bicycles. We're going to bike everywhere. everywhere oh and weed is just legal it's everywhere you get it in coffee shops everyone's gonna smoke weed and it's gonna be amazing oh and then a sex mall we're gonna have a fucking sex mall bros and we're gonna be you go in and women all these whores will be in

the windows man and it'll be legal legal weed legal this all right cool where will we sleep um on boats we're gonna sleep on boats man we can keep our bikes on the boats like it's that's that's the vibe i remember being 12 and hearing about amsterdam and going like that is nirvana like literally shops like boutiques with women in the window was it tell me about the women in the window where did was it skeevy no it was i wanted it to be more skeevy but meanwhile sophie's being brought down there she's taking a class oh and that guy talked about that in terms of tax dollars also it's they have their crime and especially sex crime is incredibly low. And, um, STDs or something.

Anyway, you could Google Amsterdam, but this tour guide gave us all the Sophie's being brought by a professor who worked in, in terms of regulation and monitoring it. She worked in Bangkok, which is very official approach to the sex industry and now is in amsterdam teaching at the university and they're taking a field trip to see all the doctors uh that are are hired to monitor the situation and the regulation that there's no uh sex slave trade or any of that stuff. You know, one person on this boat asked the Irish kid, are they unionized? And, you know, a couple of people chuckled.

And he's like, no, that's a very good question. It's brought up a lot. And he goes, they actually can't be just because to be unionized. be just because to be unionized and i forget his explanation but it was something like there that would require i think companies some sort of company and then that triggers sex trade sex trafficking laws right because if they're not from this country and they come in anyway so uh they're not unionized but i think there are things like fair wages and there's a real focus on that stuff i hate being stuck in traffic but i think i'd like being stuck in sex traffic that sounds wrong uh sorry i'm sorry it's impossible to get across

town with all the sex traffic that's rush hour you're never gonna make it yeah it's bumper to bumper sex traffic yeah and then the other thing is and i have this you know it's like being in austria where austria is like uh what the holocaust what uh world war ii no i mean no that's germany not i mean we were i'm yeah sure hitler was born here and he's our most famous son. But, and in Amsterdam, it's all like. Well, also weren't all the death camps in Austria? I guess Poland. Poland and Austria. There was only one death camp in Germany, actually.

That's a big argument people make about. That sounds like a Fitz fact. No, they say that why were the Germans so compliant when they knew all these Jews were being killed? And in fact, there was only one death camp in Germany. And they didn't shit where they ate. Is that what their approach was? That's right. So Amsterdam

listen it's all about the Anne Frank house right which I've talked about before. It is roomy and put it this way. It's a 90 minute tour. Do you know how long the tour would be of your house or my house four minutes yeah this is 90 minutes so anyway is it true it's an airbnb on the weekends now it should be well she had food delivered all three meals every day yeah

um and and that's the amsterdam's identity is this anne Frank. And I'm like, you know, I think you like the Dutch resistance is famously the most overrated thing ever. And then all of a sudden the Germans were like, hey, we'll pay you a little if you turn in Jews. And all of them like, you got it. And that's what they did. And that's what happened. You know, I think that arguably that's what happened to Anne. And and but it's all this emphasis on one girl being hid in an attic. And it's like, you know, that doesn't wash your hands of all you wanted to be was neutral.

Right. While Germany was rounding up fucking everybody. You knew what was going on. And then they just came right in. And there was like, anyway, I just think. And also, it's a weird thing to celebrate it's like it's a giant fail it you you're under the impression it was a win like oh my god you gotta see this is one of the greatest stories of what is it one of the greatest stories that

killed that girl yeah right right but i get it you're washing your hands you know what you hit a girl you hit one jew Jewish girl for a little while. Good for you. Yeah. I guess your hands are totally clean on the World War II sitch. This week's logo, we want to thank- I mean, how much longer are we going to talk about it? Bruce Wise, who's a big contributor to the show,

was nice enough to put together on st patrick's day uh logo that looks like us in um i think it's a fighting irish what do you mean it's notary irish there we go the song sugar glider is really groovy nice tune i guess the name of the band is the sugar glider so out, maybe they have more stuff out there. I would certainly listen to more. Yeah, no, it's very cool. Thank Sugar Gliders. Thank Bruce. It's very cool.

Corrections, we got a bunch because we taped early last week. So they kind of built up. Hold on, corrections is a section. Here we go. We don't need graphics. Don't worry about it, Chris. But it's a section now, remember? Steph Curry goes by Steph or Stephan.

He is not Steven. Okay. Fentanyl is not fentanyl. It is fentanyl. All right. Camaraderie. All correct. Camaraderie is not camaraderie.

It's camaraderie. I don't like that. Camaraderie is not camaraderie. It's camaraderie. I don't like that. Camaraderie? A lot of words, like I'm forgetting, but there's good examples where you truncate the pronunciation. You don't put that extra syllable in there. Wednesday. Worcester. Look at you.

Well, Worcester is a little bit different, but there's some words where, oh, I can almost remember one in a minute. But anyway, yes. Aluminum. Aluminium. bit different but there's some words where oh i could almost remember one in a minute but anyway yes aluminum aluminium bob peterson sent these in by the way he is our favorite nitpicky corrector guy he catches the little shit uh this is from manalo matos looks like your buddies at midcoast media didn't edit anything on the golf story that you told the beginning of the episode. It was a little glitch, and it was corrected very quickly thanks to the expertise of Midcoast Media. But yes, it was a number of people that noticed that we told a story that we said take that out. And if you listened early, it was still in there but uh

it was fine uh raymond jepson said you said the artwork showed you wearing ski goggles when you are wearing apple vision pros how disconnected are you guys from the media that you didn't know this to be honest i'm jealous i would love to have avoided the apple media bubble dude these apple vision pros i gotta i've been out on all the gadgets at apple i take a snooze jealous. I would love to have avoided the Apple Media Bubble. Dude, these Apple Vision Pros, I've been out on all the gadgets at Apple. I take a snooze on most of the stuff they put out. These look pretty fucking cool. Well, I don't know about looking cool, but- No, not look cool, but they seem like they'd be fun to wear. You know, yeah. Well, this is how disconnected we are. We really were wearing

ski goggles. We weren't, we're not even wearing the Apple goggles. You know, listen, this is where the Apple, this is where the goggle and the VR thing is. It's like the first old timey scuba divers that had a giant hose up to the boat and the big metal helmet on, and they were in a waterproof suit. That's what we're at now instead of like a slender little tank on our back. So these will eventually be really, really light glasses. And I guess they're betting at how much they'll change so many occupations. Like if you're a surgeon, you're going to be wearing those. And also in your vision will be AI, but it'll also be a map. They say there's already programs where you tell the goggles what car you're working on. You pull up the hood and it labels everything and then step

by step instructions on how to fix the problem. Wow. No shit. Yeah. Yeah. So it's almost like you're an astronaut or a pilot with everything in the windshield, you know what I mean, with everything including the data. And I'm sure people are rolling their eyes at my Luddite-type explanation of this newfangled. I'm like the chimp in 2001, like, you know, just banging a—I don't know anything about technology.

I was just talking about masturbation. I mean, I can't imagine throwing these things on and going to town on a stepmom. No, it tells you how to do it. It tells you how to grab yourself, and if you don't know about that, it'll walk you through it. How to clean up, how to lie to your wife about why she made the bed this morning, and why are the pillows all in one spot now? You could also see your wife's car, how far away it is from the house. It's tracking her, and it really adds to the whole rush of it. Yes.

Then Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon's the guy we played golf with, rush of it. Yes. Then Tim Dill. Tim Dill is the guy we played golf with, right? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, he's got the same name as the comedian Tim Dill? Did we ever put that together before? I don't know. Wait, isn't it Dilly?

Oh, it's Dilly. It's Dilly. You're exactly. I didn't think it was the same. Tim Dilly, who's our good friend up in San Francisco. Mike, Ben Bernanke was the chairman of the Fed that started quantitative easing. Not Alan Greenspan.

Bernanke started QE in response to the 2008 financial crisis. He goes on and on. But he says Greenspan was best known for having the worst breath of anyone in D.C. I heard that. I heard he had bad breath. What is worse than someone you really like and you want to spend time with? And is my breath ever bad, Mike?

Honestly. No, I've never smelled bad breath. That's my worst nightmare is that I've got bad breath. Because there's people I avoid and I like. There's a guy who's a comedian at the store whose breath is so bad that when I go on after him, I keep the microphone about nine inches from my face because it smells so fucking bad on the microphone. Oh, no.

Yeah. Well, I think you're supposed to tell people because there could also be a medical condition underlying it yes you should tell people have you ever told somebody uh well it wasn't a medical condition but at one of the late night shows i worked at this guy was a segment producer and it was loose enough and i also knew him really well and he comes up to me he's like listen they want to do i'm like dude and he's like what i'm like you know i smelled it the other day and the other day and what it was is they're running around like crazy and then they'll run into the green room

and grab like something to eat just because now they have to go talk to their celebrities. And there was a hummus in there that did not do well with this guy. And I think everyone, in fact, we then brought it up to catering. Like, you got to get that hummus out of the green room. Yeah. I mean, it was so powerful. I will not eat onions or garlic before I go to the comedy clubs. Good for you. Yep.

So Rick Schwartz says, I love how you both jumped on the Peloponnesian islands as the locusts of Cook South Pacific exploits. Am I, am I drunk during the shows? Cause these, I'm not remembering any of these conversations that we had. I do remember I had a brain fart. All I was trying to say was Tahiti and I couldn't get it. during the shows? Because I'm not remembering any of these conversations that we had.

I do remember I had a brain fart. All I was trying to say was Tahiti and I couldn't get it. You were probably referring to the Polynesian Islands. The Peloponnesian region is in Greece and it's also a peninsula. Also, Alexander Bell, Graham Bell, supposedly shouted to his lab assistant,

Mr. Watson, come here, I need you, or something to that effect. After he spilled some battery acid on his pants while working on his phone and Watson heard it on his extension in the next room. I don't know what we said, but I guess I think we said the first things were, will you accept a collect call from Alex? Oh, that's right. That was good. A joke. Yeah, that was a good joke.

Lucia Ribeiro, who we love. Yep. I think she lives in either Vancouver or Seattle, but I met her once. She's a they. Yeah. Although the phrase is conventionally attributed to Marie Antoinette, it can actually be traced to Jean-Jacques Rousseau's confessions in 1765, 24 years prior to the French Revolution,

when Antoinette was nine years old and had never been to France. So, yeah, a number of people wrote in this correction that it was not, because we were talking about the president of is it kellogg's that was saying that poor people should eat cereal for dinner yeah so amazing you shouldn't even eat it for breakfast he does not poor people and also guys who don't have their shit together and, uh, and don't shop. None of us have to be told to eat cereal for dinner. We got it. Right.

Right. We know that's a move. That's all. That's all you see Seinfeld eating, uh, throughout that series. Yep. Um,

come on. Speaking of Florida, I'm going to be in Boca Raton at Meisner, Meisner park, April 3rd. Uh, I will also be be in Boca Raton at Meisner Park April 3rd. I will also be in Tampa the next night at Sidesplitters April 4th through the 6th. Mamaroneck, New York at the Emmeline Theater May 31st. Also got dates coming up in Pittsburgh,

and we got a bunch of others we're announcing next week. Go to FitzDawg.com. Get yourself some tickets to come out and see live comedy. The support for Sunday Papers comes from Delete Me. Oh, yeah. Delete Me. I mean, look, I have been the victim of identity theft. There's a guy who's actually in jail because of it.

We weren't the first one that he, I guess it was a number of people. But we all get harassed. Everybody, you know, you always worry about like your mom, get this for your mom, for God's sake, or your dad if they're elderly. Oh, my dad is constantly having credit cards swapped out. He answers, I mean, this is, they know how to contact him. His phone number's out there. He definitely needs this to reduce ways that people can get to him.

Yeah. And it takes any personal information you don't want online. It's a subscription service. So, you know, there's all these big databases on the web that you might be on. So this is going to help prevent potential identity theft. And then Delete Me sends you regular personalized privacy reports. They show what they found, where they found it, and what they removed. It's great. Yeah. I mean, you could try to do this on your own and you're going to miss things and it's a lot of work. So when you sign up, they scrub all your personal information from the data broker platforms. It's great. Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. Now at a special discount for our listeners. Today, get 20% off your Delete Me plan when you go to joindeleteme.com slash papers. Use promo code PAPERS at checkout.

The only way to get 20% off is to go to joindeleteme.com slash papers. Enter code PAPERS at checkout. J-O-I-N-D-E-L-E-T-E-M-E dot com slash papers. Okay. We're also supported by Factor, which we love. Eating better. Easy to do. We've talked about Factor a lot.

Fresh, never frozen meal. Chef crafted. Dietitian approved. 35 different options to choose from every week. You could go calorie smart. You could do protein plus. Keto. I just sent it to my dad because my dad, you and I have talked about that. He's down there. He's trying to keep weight on. He's at that age.

Carter, my wife, we're running in and out of the house for lunch, and I don't want pasta. I don't want a sandwich with bread. This Protein Plus, it takes two minutes because you keep it in the fridge, and boom, you've got a lunch that's going to keep you on your feet, keep you from getting tired. I love it. Their meals are ready to heat and eat. There's no prepping, cooking, or cleaning.

That's why I got it from my dad. He just can't. And I tell him, he gets it. I'm like, yeah, you put them right in the fridge. If you don't think you're going to get to them, throw it in the freezer. And then you just reheat it. They have directions on how to do that. So you sign up and save. We've

done the math. It's less expensive than takeout. Every meal is dietician approved to be nutritious and delicious. So head to factormeals.com slash Papers 5-0. That's Papers 50. You're going to use that code to get 50% off. That's code PAPERS50 at factormeals.com slash PAPERS50 to get 50% off.

Do it. All right. Let's get a little paper crinkle. Let's. Do it. All right. Let's get a little paper, paper crinkle. Let's get into it. Front page. You got a lead story here. Are you kidding me? All right.

Popular adult streaming site Pornhub is currently blocking users in Texas. Viewers who attempt to visit Pornhub.com are met with a lengthy statement from the site's owners. Quote, as you may know, your elected officials in Texas are requiring us to verify your age before allowing you to access our website. The statement reads that not only does this impinge, and they give their argument that this is the least effective way to do what you're trying to do, which is prevent minors from seeing the site. And the block follows a judgment on March 8th from the Fifth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, ruling that Texas can enforce a new law requiring this age verification system on porn websites. So sorry, Lonely Star State.

Now all you closeted guys with your guns and trucks won't have your daily visit to Pornhub's gay site. Good luck with that. We should track the violence in Texas since this went into effect. Shots fired at Texas. Not just Philly anymore. Gibbons is coming for Texas, baby. Oh, no.

Now they're going to stand their ground against my insults and they're going to shoot me right in the chest. Let me tell you something. You know, I know I'm supposed to be all about freedom of speech. I'm supposed to be about, you know, non-censorship. But you know what? If you're 18, if you're 17, 16 years old, you shouldn't need pornography. When I was a teenager, I was trying to keep from having a boner. I was trying to make my boners go away. I don't need, if you can't nut at 16 without seeing like three guys banging a runaway, then something is really wrong with you. Oh, I couldn't walk by Glamour, the Mademoiselle magazine. I'd go in the libraries. I remember when they would have self breast exam directions for women.

Forget about it. I lost a week. Dude, Victoria's Secret catalogs. Those went straight into the bathroom. That's all I need. Plus, you're in Texas. You got the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. That should get you through the weekend.

Sports Illustrated, the swimsuit issue would come with Nivea cream wrapped in it in that edition. That's how it was delivered to our homes. And then when you talk about Cosmo or Elle, and then it had the little perfume ads where you peel it back and you can smell the perfume. So you rub your nose on that and then you flip over to l mcpherson in the fall fashions forget about it come on young guys forget about that month

i just think it's so much better for guys to go free range until they get older until you need porn stay away from it it fucks up your head and you know oh god sorry i'm just gonna say like i know i'm supposed to be about not censoring but pornography is fucking intense for kids at that age it's too much well you know we when we were uh working david spade had the showbiz show and he would do a there i said it which was just a rant, like an editorial. And I forget, it was basically about the internet. And, and, but the one element he was talking about was porn at one point. And he was like, if you told me there'd be a box, meaning his computer that had all the world's porn on it for free, I wouldn't be standing here today. He's like, I I'd still be in my bedroom. My mom,

I would only eat pizzas. Cause that's what she could slide under the door and there's no way i would have tried to find my calling in this world like your brain isn't even fully developed now add pot to that and vr goggles what who's gonna do anything in the future and And this is going to really make me sound old, but the first time I saw any pornography was on a reel-to-reel. My best friend was David Arringer, and he was this Colombian kid who lived above his father's bodega in the projects downtown. And his brother, Horatio, had a reel-to-re to reel of some porn and I remember watching it all I'd ever seen was magazines and my mother never gave me the birds and the bees talk so when I saw two people fucking I thought this is so kinky he's moving it in and out and I got an erection I was probably like 13 years old and then her uh his brother grabbed my dick and he was like,

Hey, you like that? You like that? Uh, yeah. Is that weird? She has uncle finished you off. He didn't finish me off,

but he is currently in jail for cocaine trafficking. I may, I mean, should we be editing out these names? Nope. Let him come for me he grabbed my dick he's got it coming good lord all right next all right republicans in arizona it's so funny i have these memories that i bring up sometimes when people go that's my illustration

because there's a bunch of them yeah an older guy grabbed your dick and goes, eh. Yeah. Yeah. Republicans in the Arizona state legislature have blocked Democratic efforts to get a hearing on a bill to protect access to contraception in the state with one GOP leader using sex shaming language to suggest the measure was unnecessary. The bill would enact a law affirming the right to obtain any drug, device, or biological product intended for use in the prevention of pregnancy. Are they aware? So no contraceptives in Arizona. Are they aware that ASU is in the state boundaries? Without abortion and condoms, there will be a small army of infants being raised by moms who sleep until noon and fathers who play hacky sack when they're not blowing their life savings on FanDuel.

They're going to have to double the amount of classrooms because all of their kids will be in the class next door when they're taking college classes. Oh, my God. Plus, it's Arizona. Are they even going to sell to minorities or is that. I am, I know where I am on this issue. I am behind any bill that helps prevent Arizona from reproducing. So I am against this. I, they need contraception, please. Yeah. They need to be like Maine. somebody's telling me that all the young people have left maine that it's a very old state oh really yeah uh i just read a headline i didn't we didn't put it in but that florida has had a surge in homes for sale because of this insurance

crisis yeah it's bad and also all over country, anywhere where there is vulnerability to climate, that insurance is just jacking up the prices so high that people want to sell. No, my mom has a condo in Florida and she now owns it outright. I paid it off for her. No, I'm not one of those kids but i i should have i was just gonna question that i that would have been a correction next week from 40 people listen no you didn't great i took her to lunch when we were down in florida that did it she had to get the tip but i got the i get the check um and then uh and then she said that so her monthly payments used to be like a thousand dollars

and now they're like 2,500 that's how much it's gone up because what's happening is they have these assess and that doesn't include the assessments which they had to replace you remember in miami that all the that building fell down no, no. Oh, the whole place is being inspected now. Every heavy building near salt water. So all of the, all of the balconies, cause the balcony stuck out from the building, all of those had to be taken down. And this is a five story building. That's like a block long.

Assessment scared the hell out of me. Like, so I'm, I'm, I'm renting in this building in Santa Monica and it was built in 1980, right on the ocean also. Like, and, and so there's salt air issues, but I have to hear my landlord complain about this assessments. Oh, the elevators now because they're 40 years old. Oh, the roof is 40 years. And like, they're just getting walloped one after the other and it's like you kind of and by the way if you move in there's no uh maybe there's different different buildings but my understanding is when you buy a an apartment building or a some shared sort of even if it's a townhouse with multiple owners um there's there is no recognition that, Hey, I've been here two months. I have to pay for your 40 year old roof. Right. Right. None. You're paying the exact same as the person who's been there for 40 years. Well, it's a little bit like when I proposed to Aaron and then we got married and then she was like, Oh yeah, I got 25,000 in student loans I'm like oh sweet I got hit with student loans also

premarital premarital student loans yeah you don't seem that educated to me I'm kidding she's very educated we had a nice time last night didn't we over here that was great

and we talked a lot about the Kate Middleton thing we're going to get to that I mean that was going to be our lead story. So what's the deal with Gail? Gail should be calling in in 15 minutes, she said. So we'll get the update from her. She's very excited about it. I ignored this thing for two months. It's getting harder to ignore. Yeah. Oh, by the way, speaking of the pizza, I just wanted to give a shout out to Shell's Pizza Company here on the west side of LA.

This guy, Michael, came by last night and he dropped off like five pizzas for us that were delicious. Dude, more than that. You also had the cheese sticks and that delicious marinara, was it, for dipping? It was really nice. And thank you for the nice meal. What's his name? Michael Schell's.

It's Schell's. Michael, man. S-C-H-E-L-L-Z Pizza Company. I got there a little after. I guess they were delivered. And I had, first of all, I love cold pizzas. So I had some that after, I guess they were delivered and I had, first of all, I love cold pizzas. So I had some that were, I guess, room temperature and then I heated some up and they were, and you, maybe he had told you that I had to try the pineapple pizza or whatever.

And he was right. So what is it? Detroit style? It's Detroit style, which is a little bit of a deep dish, but it's, they use a, they dish, but they cook the cheese partially on the outside so it gets this nice crispy. I liked it a lot. Yeah, it was good. All right, let's talk about a South Carolina woman accused of launching a racist tirade against her black neighbors last year. Why is it the racist tirades always against the black neighbors? How come it's never like the Norwegians? They were Vikings.

They raped everybody. How about a little racism against the Norwegians? You know what I wouldn't mind to see? A nice surprising little twist in the tale. It's a racist tirade, and it's from one, like it would be me screaming at my white neighbor. Right. Because fucking whites are the worst.

And I would just go off on that. And I would tell the journalists like, Oh, these two neighbors, these two, I'm like, no, no,

I want you to say it was a racist tirade. I know I'm white. I don't give a shit. This fucking white guy's the worst. He's the worst of the worst. Yeah. And then they show you yelling at your black neighbor and you're like, no,

it has nothing to do with the fact that he's black. He's a fucking asshole. Yeah, but you did just say white people. Are you excusing yourself from that? Because you're a white guy yelling at, no, it's different. This is different. He's parking on my side of the lawn. She's been arrested again this month after allegedly doing jumping jacks while naked in her front yard.

I'm listening. Gotta do that in the backyard. Alexis Hartnett, 27, huh? Was arrested Sunday, charged with a count of obscene exposure after a neighbor saw her doing what appeared to be jumping jacks while topless. The neighbor, a man with two small children,

showed responding officers a video of the event. So he just happened to videotape the event. How convenient. He could have made a lot more money posting that to TikTok instead of trying to give it to the cops. I spent like a good 22 minutes trying to find that clip on the internet. Yeah, I was going to say, I held my judgment till i googled her and i think she should go to jail i i it wasn't worth it uh i'd still like to see the video i found still i found still photos of her oh you did and not yeah not something you want to see naked doing jumping

jacks yeah i think so uh but meanwhile what the way, what is the, what is the harassment? What is the, how is she punishing this black neighbor? Is it because it's all about boobs and not as not her ass and it's a stereotype thing? Like what, what is she, what, how, what is her thinking? All right. All right. Sounds like a related story. Buckingham Palace just released video of Kate Middleton doing topless jumping jacks in South Carolina. Yeah. We found her. Told you she's healthy. She should come back with a bang. I mean, if she's going to be missing this long, you can't just like slide into like a jaunt around the palace with a dog. You got to do topless jumping jacks somewhere. Go to Trafalgar Square and do a down dog with no pants on.

Yeah, and you'll show how your abdominal scar is healing and everything. Yeah. Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is considering a short list of candidates for his running mate that includes New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers and former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura. This is an onion headline that is sadly not an onion headline. This. Let me tell you one thing. Oh, OK.

Aaron Rodgers will never be a presidential jet. Oh, okay. Aaron Rodgers will never be a presidential jet. Well, I mean, listen, you know what I've always said? If winning is your thing, get the New York Jets involved. It's foolproof. Yeah. And they also better line up a second VP pick because the day after RFK is elected

Rodgers will get injured at this point I might vote for that ticket by the way it's like which shit show do I want to see I think I want to see the one where Aaron Rodgers as VP of the most powerful one little heartbeat away from the most powerful seat in the world. And he's on official state tour of the Middle East. Like, no, no, no, no.

This is how you throw a Molotov cocktail. You guys are throwing rocks all wrong. Right, right. You got to pump fake and then throw it long. Yeah. Meanwhile, we got a guy who can't talk and another guy who can't shut the fuck up nice there we go uh we got a little quiz let's do it 100 most obese u.s cities america's weight problem centers in the what do you think the next word was? Deep South. It is South. You are absolutely right. So it centers

in the South. So I've got the list. And of course the list is a little weird because I remember... I won't say anything. Okay. The cities are less important, I think, on this list than the states. So number one, what state are you going with? Mississippi, without a doubt. It's number two. Oh, okay.

McAllen, Texas, number one. Jackson, Mississippi, I mean decimal points. It's 85.54 was the score that they did. Is that the birth rate of the babies? Jackson, Mississippi is 84.58. These are the newborns. This is the neonatal clinic where they have to stay in the hospital because they're too fat. When they breastfeed, they literally suck the tit dry after like five seconds.

It's the opposite. Like, look how giant this baby is. It's in the neonatal. I hope it makes it. It's in the neonatal unit. And it's going to be about four or five weeks. We hope to fit it out the door. All right.

Third state. Third state. I'm going to go with Louisiana. Shreveport, Louisiana. I know. I should say third city. Okay. The fourth.

And so the fourth city is what state? Fourth city is in Texas. Mobile, Alabama. Oh, how did I miss out on the other deep south state? Mobile, Alabama. Okay. And then? Okay.

Then fifth one? Fifth one, I'm going to say Texas. Little Rock, Arkansas. Oh, I almost said Arkansas. Big Rock. I almost said it. Number six. I'm going to go to the Midwest on this one.

I'm going to say Wisconsin. Knoxville, Tennessee. Damn! Number seven. Kentucky. Memphis, Tennessee. Wow. And then eight and nine are both Louisiana.

Ten, again, Chattanooga, Tennessee. What's interesting about this is Tennessee, I think, has one, and I might be wrong about this, but I think it has one blue city. So in the top 10, you have Knoxville, Memphis, Chattanooga.

Now, to get to where I go a lot, Nashville is 38. Wow. So you're equating red states with weight. Well, yes. That's the short answer.

But the headline does say that it is the South leads the, this is a quote, the South leads the obesity epidemic. And to me, the South very obviously skews red state. And also just the diet down there. Well, you know, the other argument could be, uh, if you're in a, if you're in the upper Midwest, you are not outside walking for four months of the year. if you live in the south like you actually have like california's are healthy because you're just walking a lot you're outside

you're exercising let's see the first time we get to all right how about this texas mississippi louisiana alabama so there hasn't been a blue state tennessee tennessee still well yeah still uh red louisiana louisiana tennessee alabama south carolina oklahoma oklahoma georgia all right georgia barely what city though augusta augusta is absolutely red louisiana uh ohio what state is ohio city Louisiana, Ohio, Kansas, Ohio. What city in Ohio? It was Youngstown. That's a mob town. Oh, no, sorry.

There's two Ohios. Canton was the first Ohio. And then, all right, we'll move this along. But North Carolina, Indiana, South Carolina, Texas. I mean, are you kidding me? Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, Texas, Kentucky, South Carolina, North Carolina. I mean, we're at number 31 now what does the article say about why why do they what do they attribute that to number 34 finally Detroit Michigan it's the goddamn pizza wow here you go you ready

in our face 35 Riverside California huh even with all the, Riverside, California. Huh. Even with all the math. Now, Riverside is Orange County. It's Republican. No, it's out there.

I know, but it's in California. I think Michigan and California at 34 and 35 might be, and it continues. Tennessee, I mean, Ohio is fucking so fat.

Oh my God, Ohio might have the most cities. I mean, Texas is fucking so fat. Oh, my God. Ohio might have the most cities. I mean, Texas. How about this? 56. Hartford, Connecticut. That's a weird one. Interesting.

That's very interesting. I think we covered it. I think we got it. And fucking fat Philadelphia. You come in at 67. Hey, they got those cheese steaks. Los Angeles is on the list, by the way. I would not have bet on.

I was shocked. I would not have bet on Hartford. I can't say that. Oh, boy. Tampa? I would have thought Wisconsin would have been in there. I always think of Wisconsin people as being overweight. No, there's a lot of Wisconsin.

You're right. They're really big, though. But Los Angeles is 74. All right. Support for Sunday Papers comes from Prize Picks. It's demon time. You can now win up to 100% of your money with as little as four correct picks. Turn $10, ready for this,

into $1,000. I like that. PrizePix is America's number one fantasy sports app. It's got 3 million members. It's an exciting way to play DFS. You against the numbers. You pick more. Pick them.

Pick more than or pick less than on two to six player stat projections and watch the winnings roll in. Weekly projections that lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday, where discount select price picks, discount select player projections up to 25% to provide even more value. It's like this sounds like a lot of numbers, but I do it, and I find it very, very usable.

And I want to be one of the people you play against or you play with. You don't play against anybody. But you can watch people like Meek Mill and Andrew Schultz, comedian Andrew Schultz. You can use Apple Pay for quick and easy deposits in your account. Yep.

So it's really fun. I love sports, but this makes me get so much more into sports. And it is fun to play side by side with your friends. I like the more or less because it keeps it simple. I've always liked those type of play. All right. Here's an example of the kind of selections you can make. Steph Curry for more than 29 points.

And Nikola Jokic, is that how you say his name? Jokic? Jokic? Jokic? For more than 10 rebounds. Anthony Davis for more than two blocks. Damian Lillard for more than 4.3 pointers made. Four?

No, more than four three-pointers. Yeah, okay. All right, here's Gail. Let me finish this ad. Hold on one second, Gail. Hold on one second. Go to prizepicks.com slash papers, and you could use code PAPERS

for a first deposit match of up to $100. Again, go to prizepicks.com slash papers and you could use code papers for a first deposit match of up to one hundred dollars again go to price picks dot com slash papers use code papers for a first pick deposit match of one hundred dollars uh look pick more pick less it's that easy all right On the phone now is Anglophile and gossip columnist Gail Gilchrist. How are you? I'm very good. I mean, I really appreciate you calling. And we've already kind of reviewed that Kate's missing. There's a lot of theories flying around. And Mike, do you want to just... She can't hear me. Oh, can you hear mike no oh okay i'm gonna make oh wait now hello now mike can you hear me now still can't hear him yeah i

don't think so all right let me let me but you can read it greg all right i'll do it uh it's gonna be just me and you mike is gonna be in a no no i'll ask you questions greg all right so mike's gonna ask me questions well why don't no what i'm saying is why don't you make it easy for her and read the timeline and then she can chime in anywhere okay so here's the timeline last seen christmas day is that correct that's what yes last seen christmas day and then vanished vanishes okay so january 16 admitted to hospital for planned non-cancerous abdominal surgery does that sound right that sounds right okay supposed to be in the hospital for only 10 to 14 days which seems long 14 days i mean that's a long time for a young healthy person to be in the hospital for anything right right and you know we've already lost uh what's her name the tv star the other princess yes what's her name? Megan. Yeah, Megan. Why can't Megan go missing?

Yeah, why can't Megan go missing? That's what Mike says. Yeah, maybe she's behind this in some way. I've heard a bunch of good theories. One of them involves something called Russell's signs. Have you ever heard of that? No, what's that? So it's injuries to your fingers,

if you're bulimic. It's like a legit bulimia symptom, because people bite down on their fingers when they're making themselves puke. So for a few months, she appeared, she was spotted with Band-Aids on her fingers, which was kind of weird. And at different times with Band-Aids on different fingers. Yeah. hospital to have like part of her stomach removed or a bowel resection or something that stems from years of making herself throw up. Does she have discolored teeth? Because that's a big sign of it as well. Yeah, I haven't noticed that about her teeth. But, you know, her teeth are probably something that they can stay on top of. Yeah. Biting her fingers. They they can't.

Now, on top of that, there's this rumor that he's been having an affair with the neighbor, Rose Hanbury, and that she demanded that the affair end. But it didn't. And that she found out about it after Christmas and went nuts and then he broke her fingers I mean I think it's probably some kind of and then yeah I think it's some combination

of bulimia and other kinds of upper class neuroses. You know, she's, she's like crazy. Like Diana was crazy. Maybe. Diana was crazy. Yeah. She, she turns out she wasn't all that balanced and individual. No kidding.

All right, wait, what is, what is, hold on. I'm going to, I'm going to talk. What do you say, Mike? What does Gail think of the Spanish journalist who says that she was put in a medically induced coma? What do you think about the Spanish journalist who said she was put into a medically induced coma? I don't think I don't think that's true. I think that would be better for them, obviously. But I think she's at a breaking point because of, I mean, think about all the pressure she's under. Hey, I'm married to Aaron. I'm married to Aaron. I know that kind of pressure.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. I mean, it's hard to look that good all the time. That's right. I got to keep up. And think about how, oh, also, you know, Kate had that thing when she was pregnant where she had real bad morning sickness.

So maybe her insides are just completely fucked. Yeah. And, uh, that's my med. I mean, I'm sort of a doctor and that's my, um, my medical opinion on that. I've also read that he might be beating her up. No. Well, that came from somebody who said that he's known to have an explosive temper, like when he allegedly pushed Prince Harry into the dog bowl. So, you know, maybe he pushed his wife

into the dog bowl. Damn. And that's going to be the name of her memoir, Into the Dog Bowl. Into the Dog Bowl, yes. Well, there's another theory that says that there was a death in the family, Thomas Kingston, and she's very upset about that. There's another theory. But that happened after, that was not that long ago she's she had already been vanished for a month before that even happened okay um thomas kingston i did

see pictures of him he was quite handsome i'm sure you know that's upsetting but uh i don't think she uh i think she probably most just cares about her figure and hanging on to her husband. Yeah. What does she think about the photo in the car? What do you think about the photo in the car? I think, uh, I think those two photos in the car, one with her mother and one with him, I think they're both probably legit. I can't, I can't figure out why though this, um – the Photoshopped photo was released. That's really weird to me. It's like, isn't somebody standing between the royal family and their Twitter fingers?

I mean, like, seems like somebody would vet that first, and it was a mess. And when you first looked at the photo, it looked like something was off with that first. And it was a mess. And when you first looked at the photo, it looked like something was off with that photo. Yeah. But wasn't the car photo proven to be photoshopped? It reminded me of the old Newport cigarette commercials where, you know, the women are laughing or is it screaming in the ads the children could be either terrified or elated it's hard to know yeah yeah right it's uh yeah it's munching maybe maybe the guy in the munching screen was having an orgasm. Yeah, I like that. Yeah.

Have you guys heard that there was a meme where she was with Pete Davidson? No. That would be amazing because how does he top himself? It's like DiCaprio. You see the lineup and you go, you're going to fall, man, you're gonna fall.

Not with a princess you're not gonna fall. It was, that was my favorite that I've seen. I think the caption said something like, Kate, no, no. Well, it'll get her a gig hosting SNL, that's for sure. There you go. How do you think she'll come back? Do you think she's gone, number one? And you go. How do you think she'll come back? Do you think

she's gone, number one? And if not, how do you think she'll reappear? In what context? I think she'll reappear at some sort of official event. I think she will look thinner than she did before. And I think she will graciously thank everybody for all their support and that the whole machinery will hope that everybody's happy with that. I doubt everybody will be happy with that, but that's how I think they'll try to close the chapter. And she'll be wearing gloves. And she'll be wearing gloves, Mike said. Yeah. Do you think that if she does not appear again, it is the death knoll for the Royal family?

I think maybe, um, I mean, I think that King already doesn't look like he feels very hot. Uh, I don't know what kind of cancer he has, but it's clearly, you know, unpleasant. So, uh, I mean, yeah, it might be, I think it's a problem for the whole group. I mean, from the pervy uncle, you know, to the crazy brother. I mean, I think that's why people, that's why I love it so much. It makes my family seem like, you know, kind of run of the mill. I know. That was never supposed to be the role of the royal family.

They were supposed to be aspirational, not this makes me feel better. Yeah, it's like they're by the grace of the royal family they were supposed to be aspirational not this makes me feel better yeah it's like uh they're by the grace of god it's they're they're the they're what you don't want to be but it is the best story in the world well it's a soap opera gift to everybody yes and the last time a queen went missing like this it was richard Simmons. And thank God we found him again. All right, Gail, thank you so much for calling in and I'll see you tonight at the, uh, standup comedy show.

I can't wait. It's going to be really fun. Bye Gibbs. God bless. See you guys later. See ya. Damn. She knows her shit.

That's no joke. Listen, Middleton, here's the problem. She should not have had her abdominal surgery in a car being chased by paparazzi in a tunnel in Paris. Like that, read your history. I know. I mean, there's Diana and then Megan is gone.

I mean, this job has less security than House Speaker. This family is very good at making women disappear. Yeah. I mean, that is their thing. Wow. All right. Well, listen, that was a good segment. I'm glad.

By the way, Gail is like one of the biggest writers in Hollywood. She's been writing on TV shows for 30 years and is a dear friend. So she knows a good tale when it's being presented to her. Yeah. As does our other friend. But it would be tail like T-A-I-L. Let's get to entertainment. You got it.

Here we go. Let me get some paper. That's good. Paper. that's that's good paper great news that i'm very excited about is neil young is bringing his music back to spotify because he said apple and amazon have started serving the same disinformation and podcast that drove him to quit spotify more than two ago. He said he can't boycott everybody because then his music would have no streaming outlet to music lovers at all. If you remember, he pulled himself off Spotify to protest Joe Rogan.

And, and then he was in, you know, look, he still shits on Spotify. He's like, Spotify. I know, this is the most negative statement. It may be more negative than the statement he made when he quit Spotify.

He said, Spotify, the number one streamer of low res music in the world. Spotify, where you get less quality than we made, will now be home to my music again. Oh my God. That's amazing. He really, well, he gave in though. He really puts the Neil and Neil Young. Oh, I'm just happy he's going to be back on there. I know I missed having him on. I listened to a lot of Neil Young and if Joe Rogan does not open every episode this week with a Neil Young song, he's absolutely crazy. Oh, that's a great, did you give him that idea? No, I should text him that.

He never spoke ill of him. After the whole incident, he just said, hey, I'm a fan. Sorry, he's not on the channel anymore. He should open up with Keep On Rockin' in the Free World, which is also, you know, could be a motto of Joe's. Yeah, right. I told you my, I went to see Neil Young last summer. Brief version because I've already told the story,

but I took Magic Mushrooms and I sat down and it was Neil playing like, he called it a room in his house that people rarely go into. That was his selection of songs for the night. And it was at the Greek Theater, which is nestled in the bosom of Griffith Park. It is the most lush, beautiful, pastoral. You're in the woods. And it's small. There's a few thousand people. And it's a really mellow, music-loving crowd. He's got an upright piano, a guitar, and a bunch of harmonicas.

It's just him. It's intimate. It's his living room. And we're grooving. My mushrooms are kicking in. And then these three fucking frat guys sit down next to me. And they proceed to just smoke joint after joint, drink beer after beer.

They're so loud. One of them throws up on the woman in front of him. And my trip went from, from perfect to utter nightmare where I left early. Well, at least you were getting the high quality sound live. That's right. Not the low quality Spotify sound.

It is true. Are we on Spotify? I would imagine. Oh, I love them then. Yeah. All right. Before we get to our Oscar predictions, I did want to say I had this interesting experience. So across my feed, these clips would come and it had who i think is the i think he's the person that makes me laugh the hardest in the world right now paul walter hauser he was in i tanya and stole the

movie in my opinion oh yeah yeah i love that guy oh my god he is a heavy guy it's like a Galifianakis type thing. But he's also in a sketch on I Think You Should Leave. He just steals every movie he's in. So anyway, these clips would come across my feed with he and Vince Vaughn. And I'm like, what movie are he and Vince Vaughn in? And so I found it. And it's Queen Pins, a 2021 American comedy, and it stars Kristen Bell and Kirby Howell-Baptiste. And it's about these women.

Anyway, here's the short version of my experience. The scenes with Paul Walter Hauser were so funny and then Vince Vaughn didn't come in until like a half hour or whatever. And then I would like find myself sitting through the scenes that we're talking about, all the coupons and stuff. And then I eventually started fast forwarding and not watching the scenes. And listen, we know Kristen Bell's funny and this Kirby, how Baptiste,

you know, funny enough and all that but the scenes when you had this guy paul walter hauser and vince vaughn it was like a different movie they didn't even put like jaunty music in there it was just a scene with the two of them in the car and i think it was one of those which is what they would do on hangover as we know from zach and those guys is yeah we'll do the scene as written in the script, right? In case like there's a plot point we're forgetting about,

it needs to be covered. But also then once we got it, we're going to have some fun with it and we're going to improvise. And I think that's what happened in every scene they did. And it was night and day. It was two different films. And I was howling with the scenes with Vince Vaughn. And this Paul Walter has expressions.

I rewound it two or three times. I rewound it to watch what he did. Wow. I got to see this. Yeah, I could watch that guy. Maybe you should edit it together and put it out as a half a movie. I would be the most woman-hating. And it doesn't matter.

Like, I mean, if it's, you know, who do I love from Mike and Molly and all that? She's one of the funniest people on the planet. Kristen, Melissa McCarthy. She would have stolen the show. What? Yeah, Melissa McCarthy. Yeah, Melissa McCarthy. I mean, listen, I think some of the funniest people in the world are women, actually.

I mean, all the crazy actresses on Saturday Night Live. I'll watch anything they do. Maya Rudolph is great. Oh, Maya Rudolph. I'll watch do anything. I sent everybody that when she was just making noises, making fun of how people sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl.

I watched that, I think, five times. But anyway, this, it's a great way to watch a movie i mean it's i i you probably have it down to 35 40 minutes and it's called queen pins anyway all right let's get to the oscar pics all right we made pics last week for the oscars and now we're going to see who got more rights. It is close, my man. Here we go. Best picture, we tied. We both picked Oppenheimer. Best director, same thing.

Christopher Nolan, both of us. Actress in a leading role. I, we both, oh no, I thought you took, no, I went back and I watched the tape. You said Emma Stone will come in second. I did? Yeah. Oh yeah, that's right.

That's right. You were wrong. She came in first. Yeah. We both thought Lily Gladstone would do it. Yeah. I have a buddy of ours who I will not name. And he goes, he won the office pool at work in a talent agent a talent and an agency that does

even more than talent represents writers and everything here in la and everyone of course picked lily and he didn't he's like she's an indian woman playing an indian woman and he got in trouble in his office and then last night we'll just call him Jay, a friend of ours, goes, yeah. And she played a sleeping person for most of the movie. Oh, that was an exhausting performance she turned in. That was a lot of being sick. So she, right, she did not. We both missed actress

in a leading role. Actor in a leading role, here's where you take the lead. I guessed Jeffrey Wright. You guessed Cillian Murphy. You're up one. Now we have actress in a supporting role. You chose Emily Blunt in Oppenheimer, and I chose

Divine Joy Randolph in The Holdovers. We're tied again. We're tied. Actor in a supporting role. You chose Robert De Niro. I chose Ryan Gosling. Robert Downey Jr.

That was a shocker. Although we won the Golden Globe. We're still tied. Original screenplay. We both guessed Past Lives. It was Anatomy of a Fall. How did we miss that one? So we're tied. Adapted screenplay.

We both guessed Oppenheimer. It was American Fiction. We're still tied. We skipped International Movie. We skipped Animated Feature. You actually wanted to bail at this point, but we chose Documentary Feature. We both guessed 20 Days in Mar wanted to bail at this point, but we chose documentary feature. We both guessed 20 Days in Maripol, so

we're still tied. That was correct, right? Maripol? Yes. Original score. I guessed Killers of the Flower Moon because I think I thought maybe what's his name? Robbie Robertson was part of that because he was part of the sound in the movie, the

music. And then you guessed Oppenheimer and you won. So you're up one. Nice. We skipped original song. We went to cinematography and you guessed Killers of the Flower Moon. I guessed Oppenheimer. I won. Oh, so we're tied.

We're tied again. And then you didn't want to do anything else. And I had to beg you, we should have one more in here. And what did we choose? We chose documentary short and we just had to bet on what it sounded like. And I chose Nine-Nine and Wipo. And you chose The Last Repair Shop, which won. Nice.

Is that $100? By the way, if I had known, The Last Repair Shop is about the last shop in L.A. that fixes and maintains all the musical instruments for all of the Los Angeles music programs in the public high schools and public middle schools. Yeah, that's why I picked it. I thought that was profound. You bastard. So you won based on goddamn documentary.

How much money did we bet? Huh? How much money did we bet? Oh yeah. Did we bet money? I would guess we always bet money. Yeah, you're right.

We normally, but we'll go back and check it. All right. We'll go back and check. Let's right, we'll go back and check. Let's go to Florida. It's time to go to Florida, baby. I was just there. You're about to go there.

Florida is a big part of our lives right now. Florida. Florida man. I don't really have any jokes here. It's just fascinating to me. Florida man suspected of kidnapping girlfriend surrenders after a 20-hour standoff. So he was suspected of tackling his then girlfriend and throwing her inside a vehicle. He barricaded himself inside a home in, yes, you guessed it, the villages, Florida.

Yes. Leading to an hours-long standoff with police and law enforcement. James Savage, not a great name in this case. Oh boy, that's not going to help in court. The suspect is accused of punching and tackling his then girlfriend, 60-year-old Maribel Dunn, outside a home late Thursday night and forcing

her inside a vehicle before driving off. Savage was found barricaded inside the home on the north end of the villages. What is up with the village? And it's always the north end. The north end is the crazy part. The bad part of town.

This is such a not big deal in Florida. This is just a guy tackling his girlfriend, putting her in a car. That's like subtle. That's like when a girl goes to another girl. I think he likes you. Well, one thing they quoted is, I guess he said like, get in the car or I'll kill you,

something like that. And it's like, yeah, been there. I think we've all said that line. Right. And then he tackled her. The Buccaneers could use this guy. They need a new outside linebacker. Although, I think I'd go with a one-year contract.

What's that? I think I'd go with a one-year contract on that one. Yeah. I've never said it to a wife or someone I'm dating, but I don't know if this is a good defense, but I've said get in the car, I'll kill you to my daughters almost every time I've been in the car with them. Yeah. Okay, here we go. but I've said get in the car I'll kill you to my daughters like almost every time I've been in the car with them so okay here we go we're going to make Georgia

Florida I'm wearing that paper out we're moving oh I have more crisp ones alright making Georgia Florida alright I love this a Georgia woman's cat was found a mile from her home after seven years.

Liz Gillespie said her Siamese mix, Kevin Durant, who is named for, can you guess? Basketball star Kevin Durant, went missing from her Rock Spring home about seven years ago. She said, I live next door to 30 acres in woods. And so I just kind of assumed that maybe a coyote had gotten him. And I really didn't think he was out there after so long. I kind of didn't have any hope left. She said she was shocked to receive a call from the Walker County animal shelter reporting that Kevin had been found. She's like, I just assumed he got, you know, went to Phoenix to play ball that he was traded to Phoenix. That's why he was never around anymore.

Officials told her the feline had been brought in for testing after a confrontation with a local child, and the vets discovered that he was neutered and microchipped. She said Kevin had been living with feral cats only about a mile from her home, and she said he is currently resting and getting to know his way around the house again. Yeah, he's posting up in the paint in the kitchen. He's getting dark. You know what the cat's really doing?

It's looking for getaway. Like, what window's loose? You don't think this cat knew where the house was? Right. Take a hint. Take a hint, lady. This is not a house cat. House cats don't run away for nine years and join up with the ferals. He's feral. He's got tattoos now. He's got a meth habit. Why do you think he attacked that fucking kid? He's jacked up on meth.

Good luck because you think the other feral cats don't know that Kevin has got a home with free food? They're going to start swinging by for dinner, not leaving. Her problem was she thought she could contain Kevin Durant. That's right. Are you kidding me? No, no. Legend. Yeah. All right.

We are moving on. We already did Kate Middleton in our international story. Let's get into this day in history this day in history here we go that is crisp paper i'm telling you right now all right so this day in history if people are new to the show this has turned into a quiz where mike gives me the event. I tell him the year that it happened. All right.

I'm not going to give you a range on this. You're just going to have to get close. Okay. I know. I like the range. I like the range. On this day, Mississippi ratified the 13th Amendment, which abolished slavery after it was added to the U.S. Constitution. Okay, I'm going to say 1876.

All right, so this is why I didn't give you a range, because I was going to tell you, give or take 100 years. What? Mississippi ratified the abolished slavery amendment in 1995. No! What? That's fucking crazy. Yeah.

How is that possible? In fairness, it was not made official uh and then it was by the way 1995 but then it wasn't made official until 2013 i don't know why i said in fairness wow all right well they're fat 130 years they couldn't get to the uh to the city capital. They did it 130 years after it was added to the U.S. Constitution. Damn. Well, you're going to get this. Give or take a year, the U.S. Marines on this day captured the Japanese island of Iwo Jima during World War II.

1945. Nailed it on the nipple. Nice. 1945. Nailed it on the nipple. Nice. Okay. On this day, American comedian Jerry Lewis was born.

I mean, yeah, on this day, in what year? I'm going to say- Oh, I'm going to say give or take five years. I'm going to say 1937. Oh my God, you missed it. 1926. No my God. You missed it. 1926. No. Yes. Damn.

Do you know that him, uh, and, uh, uh, what's his name? Uh, Martin Dean Martin.

They were the highest paid comedians in the world because they used to do, there was a thing in New York where all the big theaters like the Ziegfelds, they used to show movies like, and before the movie there was a live performance. Like comedians would go up for 20 minutes and they would do a show. So noon, two o'clock, whatever,

noon, three o'clock, six o'clock, nine o'clock, those guys got up and they performed together six days a week. They did their routine and they were making back then like a million dollars or 2 million. It was crazy. Nice. And that would have been probably the fifties, late forties, fifties.

I just realized, by the way, I was reading today, today, March 16th, but you're just guessing the year. It's fine. Okay, let me, how about, this is a little close. American author Nathaniel Hawthorne, his book The Scarlet Letter was published on this day in what year, give or take 20 years? 30 years, give or take 30. 1850. It's 1850. No, really? I'm not kidding. Damn.

I'm on fire. Man, man, oh man. I was an English major and I love that book. Okay. Today. liar man man oh i was an english major and i love that book uh okay today saint patrick the patron saint of ireland he died on this day in what year give or take 200 years see there this is a bullshit question because there it's very nebulous who saint patrick was there really wasn't a lot of info on who he was he was kind of an archetype he wasn't some say he didn't even really exist right so it does say according to legend yeah all right then i'm 1640. It was so close. 461. Oh my god. I gave you 200 I gave you a 400 year window

and you couldn't do it. I needed 1200 years to be right. Let's see here. Okay. Nat King Cole was born on this day give or take 10 years. 1915.

Jesus, 1919. Nice. I know because I just watched him on reruns. When I was with my mom in Florida, they have this channel called WeTV where they show reruns of old shows, and we watched a bunch of Ed Sullivan shows, and Nat King Cole would come on.

Holy shit. It was live TV. And this dude would come out and do a medley of three songs where he would walk to the piano, play, get up, croon, do a duet with somebody. He was so mega talented.

It was incredible. It really is incredible. I should know this. We Take Request. And what a voice. Insane voice. It's called We Take Request. I'll look it up.

But anyway, there's a legend that he was as good a piano player as, I'm going to look it up. We take requests. You know who else was an amazing piano player was Nina Simone. Oh, I didn't know that. She was a trained concert pianist, went to college for it. We get requests maybe. Hold on, requests. And I have the album and it's great so anyway that the i guess maybe they

were with the same label or whatever and they're like listen one of you has to pick guitar and both of them had incredible i mean piano both of them had incredible voices and were incredible piano players and like you got to pick a lane and And so Nat King Cole went voice. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And Oscar Peterson, who was widely considered to be one of the greatest pianists ever, he leaned into that. But as you just said, you saw Nat King Cole on piano. Apparently, he was phenomenal. He was amazing.

And his song, that was our wedding song. Me and Aaron's first dance was unforgettable. And that was the song because on our first date, we were in the Bowery, we're on the Lower East side and we're walking down the street and we just held hands for the first time. And then this homeless guy was standing there and he was singing unforgettable and we stopped and I gave him some money and we slow dance to unforgettable. I know. I remember him at the wedding.

He was sweating his ass off. That would have been nice. All right. Last one. Uh, all right. Eleanor. I just like the detail in here.

Uh, on this day, Eleanor Roosevelt, the niece of president Theodore Roosevelt, married her distant cousin, Franklin, on this date what year? Give or take 15 years. Oh, this is easy. I'm going to say 1917 you dick 1905 nice you barely barely i knew you'd go high on that

damn so they were she was fucked she was an old first lady for somebody who got so much done so she must have been born in like 1890 and then they were in the white house forever yeah wow all right let's get down to uh very sad one we're gonna do obituaries right now this is a guy that uh was near and dear to your father and you as well uh an icon in the irish community irish-american community oh no was he born in ireland uh no yeah oh that's a great question yeah they moved back to limerick yeah uh well because angel's ashes is about his frank's childhood in, was it Limerick? Yes, Limerick. Okay. For sure.

And he was on the Upper West Side. He's 92. He went in a hospice, and then they kicked him out of hospice, which we talked about, I think, like six months ago. His name, Malachi McCourt. Malachi McCourt. Oh, I thought we talked about, sorry, yeah. And Frank McCourt, his brother, who was the author of Angela's Ashes,

and he taught down in Stuyvesant High School. And Malachy was just this raconteur and a kind of legend. And he had a bar, Malachy's, and he was a barkeep there. And he also has a memoir, which was bestselling. Tiz, right? What's that? Was it called Tiz? No, that's Frank's follow-up.

Oh. Yeah, no, no. His was called, that's Frank's follow-up. Oh. Yeah, no, no. His was called, was it Fish's? Hold on. I should know that. Death Need Not Be Fatal? That's one. Singing My Hymn Song.

And then I forget the other one, but maybe that was his memoir. But anyway, just amazing. And he was in that unbelievably creative scene when even the Stones came to town and everyone would be down. Pete Hamill and all the literary guys would be. And Dylan, they'd be down at the Lion's Head and in the village. And the Clancy brothers were there and everything. So you can go and read the, any obituary you want. The New York times has a giant one and his story as a young child,

he was Frank's younger brother, um, in Angela's ashes. Like he should have been dead about 20 times before he was three years old. And here he is living till 92, um, which was amazing in Manhattan. So anyway, yeah, we knew him. He was fantastic. He was at my wedding. And he sung at my uncle's funeral. He would always, like, you know, there's that saying, sing for your supper. And he always would kind of in a way like earn his keep and bring a room together. And yeah, he was just amazing.

It's just a part of New York that it's so sad to see it go. When you see somebody like him die, and Pete Hamill and Jimmy Breslin, and it's just like, I don't know that these people are being replaced by people that understand their history, that understand how to be charming and light up a room. And I like that sink for your supper kind of mentality because my father had that.

It was like you went to a party. You were, well, I try. But you're expected to be entertaining and to lift up the room. That's your gift. Some people bring good food. Some people bring great wine. And for some people, you're just, you know, your job is to tell great fucking stories. Yeah.

They said distinguishing between Mr. McCourt's stories and his lies was a fool's errand. Both were so spellbinding. Amazing. He had all these funny quotes. He would say, live every day like it's your last because one day you'll be right. And he famously, he and his brother rejected the St. Patrick's Day parade. So I guess we can talk about that. Rejected the St. Patrick's Day parade because of the Catholic Church and especially their ostracizing gays. Oh, wow. And so there was an alternative New York St. Patrick's Day parade, I believe, in Brooklyn.

And those two guys who were like very celebrated would, would go over there. Yeah. It says here that he was also played a big role in shutting down the Willowbrook home for children on Staten Island where rampant abuse had been exposed of the kids. And yeah. And the reason by the way, other than Frank McCourt's brother, but he was an actor who was in a lot of things. I guess most notably the soap opera Ryan's Hope. He was in a bunch of different films.

Monk Swimming is one of his books as well. And let me see. Here's a nice note to go out on. Maliki's son, Connor, who I met. I hung out with him in Venice, a really sweet guy, uh, confirmed his death and added that his father was listening to a recording of Will Ye Go Lassie Go by the Chieftains, a song he would often sing when he died. Oh, nice.

That's very nice. All right, let's cheer up. Okay, let's cheer up. Oh. Nice. That's very nice. Alright, let's cheer up. Okay. Let's cheer up. Here we go. Here's the Sunday funnies. We got Hagar sitting at the bar talking to a woman. She looks despondent. He goes, isn't that your boyfriend sitting at the end of the bar? She goes,

I broke up with him. He's a jerk and he'll never, ever change. And then a wizard comes over and she turns into a frog and he goes, I was eavesdropping. Well, first of all, define in these times, in medieval times, in fucking Norway, what is a jerk because the bar is pretty low yeah you know like what he doesn't call an uber after he molests you with his eight marauding friends and if you don't think that's what the wizard is up to now right he stepped right in he removed he removed his competition uh we get the lock horns leroy and loretta are in a car dealership with the salesman leroy says we can't buy a self-driving car unless it pays for itself cute and then they're in an ice cream truck and leroy is getting a cone and he says to Loretta, what do you mean? I don't have to worry about brain freeze.

Slam. You got slammed Leroy. Totally got slammed. You know, something reminded me of, uh, this comic strip. I'm going to send it to you. It's so hysterical. It came on my feet and it said Norman fell is the first ballot, first ballot on the Hall of Fame of breaking the fourth wall. And it's from um, wait, let me move this down. It's all these lines. Let me just give you a line or two. It's literally this comic strip and

it's, it's from Three's Company. Ready? Are you kidding? That's a great likeness. It's just a blob. Oh, don't fool me. I'd recognize your mother anyplace. And then he looks to the camera. Yeah, yeah. But a lot of it is like she asks about her makeup,

but he's like, I think it needs a few more coats. And then he looks at the camera. He was in something else that was big. We were just talking about was it you i was talking to norman fell about just talked about him the other day was he in the graduate yes he was in the graduate yeah he was also was he in 12 angry men i probably not maybe i'm gonna look it up i'm gonna look it up you look it up while i'm going to look it up. You continue. You look it up while I do. Another Lockhorns. Leroy is working on his laptop with his phone in his hand.

He is gritting his teeth. And Loretta says, when left to his own devices, Leroy can't figure out how to use them. That's not bad. That's good. All right. Damon Fell, Three's Company and the Ropers Ocean's Eleven

in 1960 The Graduate in 67 and Bullet in 68 oh Bullet yeah

I mean tons of stuff it's a mad mad mad mad world huh Inherit the Wind and Denman also wrote down

he was in Ellen so I bet he's also wrote down he was in ellen so i bet he's got some stories he was in the killers a mad mad mad mad world oh uh yeah okay all right welcome to the old man's podcast let's do a little family circus shaking it up this week oh my god i just threw it in here because all right so i went i saw this family circus and i'm like i'm gonna put it in because i have no idea what it means of course but then i try to look up today's the 17th because we're recording this on saturday the 16th and i go to click on it because i see the date and it goes, oh, do you want to pay and subscribe? Can you imagine paying and subscribing?

Not only are they free the day of, but you want to get ahead on family circus? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This one is the grandmother leaning in, blowing out all the candles on her birthday cake. And the two kids, the daughter with the red hair and then the pudgy son or whatever, the young guy there, he, they're around her at the table. And I guess the boy's pie hole is open and it's going to be a pie hole in about three

seconds. And he, I guess, says, don't worry, grandma, maybe your wish will come true anyway. Yeah. What? Yeah. Is that like masquerading as a clever statement? Is that, is it, does it have the feel of a clever statement, but it's not? Oh, wait a minute.

Is it that she's so old that the flames don't go out on the candles? Oh, cause they're, oh, I guess the, yeah, that's not very clear, but you're right. They're still lit. Yeah, I think that her breath couldn't quite put out the candles. Can I cut to? So it's not, it's actually not clever at all what he said. All right. So I guess the other, she can't blow out candles. Okay. I just went to the site Archimax where I get all the comic strips from and they have a comment section.

People read the cartoon and then they get on a chat room to discuss it. Here's some of the comments. Flamingo says grandma's wish came through. She's with her grandkids! Oh my God. And then Susan Newman, who's a little edgy, she wrote, you don't know what she wished for. Maybe to permanently get rid of the melon heads.

Oh, all right. Norisum said, with my senior discount, I get two blows. I bet your husband's happy to hear that. Yeah, what is that? Yeah. Grandma, nope, you're still here. What website has the comments? ArcaMax.

All right, I like it. I might go there. All right. I like it. I might go there. All right. Good. All right. Let's get to some Blondie. Jesus Christ. The lights are dim.

The room is blue. Blondie is in bed with Dagwood, who has his back to her. She's wide awake. If she has a pulse and she's in that bed, you should be facing her fondling her whispering in her neck. Instead, he's got on fucking donut pajamas and he's faced away sleeping. And she's got on a raspberry negligee with frills hanging off one shoulder. Yeah. Bosoms lunging towards him.

And she goes, honey, I hear a noise downstairs. I hope it's not that mouse again. He goes, it's probably nothing. And then she goes, I hope those brownies on the kitchen counter will be okay. And then he jumps up and goes, then again,

you never know. That's what gets you excited. Some fucking brownies. How about some blondies? I have two theories. I like it. He should be eating blondies. Two theories. One, she's just carving out

some buzz time she's going to take care of herself right right now she needed him out of the bed because he's useless and he's going to judge her yeah or two she heard my advice on how to kill your spouse so now she grabs the gun and she calls 9-1-1 and says there's an intruder my husband went down to check the noise there's an intruder. My husband went down to check the noise. There's an intruder in the house. Oh my God, he's coming up the steps. He killed my husband. And then she shoots this guy, her husband, right in the head.

I would like it if she shot him in the head and then laid back and took the still warm barrel of the gun and crept it between her legs and brought herself to completion as the police were on their way. That is a wild fantasy. Yep. And I had it. All right. Listen,

Mike, it's been an amazing show hour and 45 minutes. I hope we kept our audience. You can always, we can actually look online on the app and see how long people actually listen for. But I didn't know that. If you made it through, check out FitzDog Radio this week.

I have Preacher Lawson on. He was great. Had some good guests lately. Also, don't forget to support our sponsors. Go to joindeleteme.com slash papers and get yourself 20% off. join delete me.com slash papers and get yourself 20% off. You can also go to factor meals 50 and get 50% off. And then you can go to, uh, who is our other sponsor? Oh yeah. Prize picks.com slash papers. And you're going to get a first deposit match of a hundred dollars. Uh, thank you to mid coast media for doing a great job. Chris Denman.

I guess we'll... You got anything you want to promote, Mike? Yeah, go watch half of the movie Queenpins. There you go. And you don't even know to... You can follow the plot. Trust me. You don't even need... You maybe watch the first few scenes and yeah, they're going to use coupons and it's a scam and the

authorities are on to them but then just watch those two guys I love it alright well thanks for hanging with us you guys we'll see you next week take it ish take it ish well it's the Sunday

papers with Mike and Greg so get out of bed. Sunday Papers with Greg and Mike. The time of your life.