Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep 210 3/31/24

Episode Date: March 31, 2024

Did Diddy do it? Ghislaine Maxwell is grooming herself in prison, and Trump is publishing God's "Art of the Deal." This week's Florida man stars a California man. 

3, 2, 1 Read all about it! Read all about it. Oh, there we go. Read all about it. Extra, extra. Sunday Papers. Why aren't we together? Why aren't we in the same studio? I don't know.

We don't roll that way. Nope. No. This is how we roll. All that time to get over there. And where am I going? I have a new studio. What are you talking about?

I've got a studio in Beverlywood. Yeah, I'm not going there this time of day. Are you insane? It's not that bad. Oh, from me? You should see how hard it is to cross Lincoln. Yeah. We're not going to talk about Trapp.

Happy Easter, everybody. Happy Easter. If you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, we celebrate you and your belief that he has somehow gotten out of a cave and floated into the heavens. Yep. Where he sits and judges you. The real question is, was his grave robbed and then that gave birth to this legend? Or is it just so incredibly creative they didn't even need that as a starting point? Are you saying his mother was not a virgin? I don't, I mean, does mouth sex count?

Oh, boy. Oh, Jesus. That's what she was yelling. That's what Joseph was yelling. Oh, Jesus. Meanwhile, she's like, what's the deal with the bethlehem thing we are a nazareth family your name is literally jesus of nazareth what what are you telling people at school yep i think is that like the um Is that like the Iranians trying to tell you that they're from... Beverly Hills?

No. What's the tribe they're from? Oh, Jesus. I don't know. Send it in. It's a pre-correction. Come on. Fucking back me up on this.

What? Persia? Persians. Yeah, yeah. They're Persians. Yeah, they're Persians. Mike, it's great comic, Mike Sweeney, who you remember from back in New York. Oh, he's fantastic.

He used to have this joke like, oh, you're Persian? Oh, let me introduce you to my friends, the Hittites. And these are the Ottomans. How are you finding Constantinople? Is the crime okay yeah um well i mean by the way all these conversations are happening now in this mid-east debacle who has the rights who can actually claim it more accurately than the

other and everything and i'm already canceled for just even raising a question. Is there a more hotly contested piece of real estate than Jerusalem? I mean, pick a square mile of Jerusalem where Mount Sinai is. And is there a more hotly contested piece of real estate? Yeah. Well, wait, Mount Sinai? Isn't that where Jesus was? Well, no.

Jerusalem, which I've been to, is different than the old city, which of course is maybe the second to last old city or whatever. No, two cities after the original old city. I told you that story, the Stations of the Cross. Yeah. And I'm listening to that amazing book, Zella, which is the history from a historian of that region. And everyone touches the spot that Jesus like lost his balance

as he's carrying the cross. And so I'm not going to be the spoiler to the whole family that's there, uh, you know, on this tour, but I do pull the tour guide aside. I'm like, so everyone like that,

that's the wall he leaned against. I'm like, but, and I'm alone with her. I'm like, but that, that wall wasn't there. It was burned down.

It was rebuilt. Then it was burned down again. She's like, yeah, I'm like, this whole city was raised and then like raised again, maybe even a hundred years after that. So nothing, not one thing was here when this guy, she's like, right. Oh, it's like, it's like having sex with your wife in Beverly Hills. You're grabbing her tits.

You're kissing her lips. None of it's original. Is that what it's like yes it's my metaphor i'm johnny metaphor today easter sunday was that an event in your house growing up i lived in a very depressing apartment with my mom and my sister a small two-bedroom and subsidized housing this is is when I was poor, which I can claim I was till, uh,

sixth grade. Anyway, uh, she would, we would do eggs and they were hidden. I remember them being hidden around a tiny living room. They were hidden in Mel's delicatessen down the street. She told us to go down and find the eggs and

bring them home. That's how poor you were. Oh, right. I was going to say, what are you talking about? That would be funny. Like there's like, if there's a family that has their act more together and better off down the street, but you wake up 10 minutes earlier and you're like, go find the eggs. I hit them all in their yard. and you're like, go find the eggs. I hid them all in their yard. Grab that statue too. That's for Jesus.

And if there's any baskets with chocolate, those are for you. A couple lawn chairs, the barbecue. Mommy, they have solid chocolate bunnies, not the hollow ones that you, oh my God, you outdid yourself this year. Yeah, we used to, my mother went bananas. We used to get, not like our friend Mary was telling us last night,

where she used to get a big basket with roller skates. Yeah, gifts. It was like a second Christmas. Yeah, we didn't go, we didn't get all that, but it was a big deal. And then, you know, every Easter, we would go down to the Bronx and all my, I had a lot of cousins in the New York area

and we'd all meet at my grandfather's house. And then we would just terrorize the neighborhood because it was a lot of us. There was 20 cousins, 21st cousins. Good Lord. Yeah. And how about Good Friday? I think it does Wall Street. I'm going to look it up.

Does Wall Street still have Good Friday off? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, there's surprising things like that. Good Friday, and we were talking about this last night. We had a little dinner party at our friend's house, and it was torture. You had to reenact the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, It was torture. You had to reenact the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

And everybody in the church had to pretend they were the mob that was calling for Jesus to be nailed to the cross. And it was so depressing. I looked it up. Good Friday is indeed still. Wall Street is closed on that day. No shit. Yes.

Huh. Yeah. And it's when everybody gets to start drinking again on Sunday or eating chocolate or whatever they gave up for Lent. Wall Street was not nearly as diverse when those rules were made. It was a crusty, you christian uh group of white people yeah well luckily um there's a lot of black people now are there are there black people on wall street that wasn't the first demographic that was non-christian that i for. Right. I'm just thinking about- It has gotten more diverse.

I don't picture a lot of diversity. No, all those dudes on the floor screaming. I read the history of- More women, that's for sure, in the offices. JP Morgan talked about that, how- I think stocks were looked down upon. And it was the Jewish bankers that came in and were selling stocks first. And that's kind of how they found their way into the market

because the old money guys were more financial managers and it was about bonds and real estate and utilities. And that it was looked down upon to trade in stocks. And then suddenly that became what it was all about. You heard it here first, another Fitz fact. There it is. Let's see how it holds up. Look it up.

Look it up. Go ahead, everybody. Let's see how it holds up. I dare you. I dare you. Then the Jews came in and made it like a marketplace where they're yelling with using their hands they're merchants oh god um the kate middleton i do want to say last week

all right here we go i'm not saying we're alone but uh what was kate middleton we sort of we were getting you know a lot of people were getting criticized. Like, why doesn't everyone shut up? It's nothing, you know, can't you just, and it's like, no, it was something. And listen, God bless her. It's terrible. It's probably, I don't even know if there's more news on it. I stopped following the story, but it's, it's not good.

And, uh, hopefully the prognosis is good, but it's still, it's going to be. Oh, will you stop with the sanctimonious God bless her? No, but I don't want people to think I'm dissing on a woman who just got a cancer diagnosis. I don't care. Yeah, but still, what do you suddenly care about her? Did you care about her a month ago?

I hope she and the royal family all die like Greg does. There you go. Is that better? Is that better? Hey, you know what? Subjugate my people. Occupy my land for 800 years. Yeah, you should. You should go away.

I don't care how. Just get out of the papers. Get out of the zeitgeist. Why do we care? What else did we call? The kid was found in the river. That's still a story from what I can tell. What river? In Nashville. did we call the kid was found in the river that's still a story from what i can tell what river

in nashville the guy from mizzou that he was drinking all the country star bars and they but then like the autopsy said his lungs were empty which can happen if you drown believe it or not and then his pants and boots were off oh boy i don't know what kind of drowning that was no sounds like not a bad way we're going to talk about diddy in a minute oh i know what kind of drowning that was. No, sounds like not a bad way to go. We're going to talk about Diddy in a minute. Oh, I know what it was. Otani. I think I was a bit ahead of that. I was like, this does not smell right.

Everyone's like screaming about his assistant. I'm like, if you don't think his assistant is the fall guy, the biggest baseball star in the world with the gambling. Yeah. Ot Right. Yeah. Otani. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I'm sure it's all the guys stealing Otani's money.

Right. Yeah. Right. I know. Someone pointed out that the lineup on the Dodgers, they have to watch it because there's a player called Betts. So if they bat in order it's otani bets yeah i saw pete rose uh i saw an internet video of him commenting on the otani thing maybe i should have had a translator yeah yeah it's hilarious you know what I don't care how he says it he's right

yeah Hall of Fame or Pete Rose what did they call him what was his nickname Hustle Hustle something Mr. Hustle there was also something about him being like tough and hard

yeah Charlie Hustle? Charlie Hustle. That's what it was. Let me look up Pete Rosen. He's going to have new nicknames now.

Bowl haircut. You know, that's a sign of an orphan. The bowl haircut. That's a sign. If a guy with a bowl haircut is like,

let's fight, you're like, no thank you. No thank you. A bowl haircut usually goes with a bowl haircut's like, let's fight, you're like, no, thank you. No, thank you. A bowl haircut usually goes with a missing tooth. Yeah, or at least a big old gap. Charlie Hustle. Yep.

Charlie Hustle. Was revered for his aggressive base running style, which I don't think his speed was at all the best thing about him, obviously. He used to dive headfirst into the bag. Yeah. He was a catcher, right? Was he a catcher or a first baseman? Oh, okay.

You get this. Whitey Ford gave him the nickname after a spring training game. Keep in mind, it doesn't even matter. It's spring training. And he sprinted to first base after walking, after drawing a walk. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody bet him he wouldn't do it.

And he used it in a derogatory way, but Rose adopted that nickname as a badge of honor. When life gives you lemons. Yeah. So there it is. All right. when life gives you lemons. Yeah. So there it is. All right. Give me the update on your big news. You want to tell people your new job?

Oh, yeah. I think it's kind of been announced. Speaking of sports, well, it was on two years ago, and then it was off because it came out of retirement. But Tom Brady is going to be roasted as part of the netflix comedy special may 5th and i'm head writing that and uh you know it's it's a sprint man and it is uh it's you know people come in they drop out they are afraid uh so but we're already getting like tons of hysterical jokes and, um, and we haven't really even started the room.

The virtual room starts Monday. The real writer's room physically starts, uh, April 8th. And so, yeah, uh, it's, it's, I haven't met Tom yet, but it's going to be, uh, it's going to be great. And now the difference this year is this is the first year it will actually air live instead of being recorded and edited. Yes. That's amazing. Netflix feels very strongly about it being live, which changes a lot, actually.

It changes a lot of things. And, you know, all productions are helped when they're not live. You can tighten them up. You can even find a rhythm where maybe a little bit of a rhythm was lost. I think in my personal opinion, I think roasts I've been involved with in the past, they will take more chances. The roasters knowing things can be cut out. take more chances the roasters knowing things can be cut out they'll try a joke that might be too edgy you know or uh or that they're not sure about and so i kind of like that let's be honest you can cut out the bombs yeah and i can say that firsthand as somebody that did the roast of chevy chase uh years ago and was cut out because i i went on like fucking 17th out of 16 comedians

and the crowd was too. I can't blame the crowd. I didn't have. No, no, but you can, although there is a fatigue, there's also like, okay, Jesus Christ, we're hearing another joke about his, you know, Tom Brady's diet. Like that's going to happen. Like we have to keep an eye on that. Yeah. Giselle, another Giselle joke, another cheating joke, deflate gate. I mean,

holy crap. Well, uh, Jeffrey Ross of course is involved. Oh yeah. And, uh, yeah, it sounds like you have from the,

what I heard some of the, some really good writers and, uh, who knows? We'll see. Can you announce, um, roasters as we go along? Or you have to wait until the 11th hour? I think I have to wait.

I mean, a lot of times I think they're going to release it probably. But Kevin Hart's the host. And there's a lot of big names, really big names. The Pope? No. There's a lot of real names, really big names. The Pope? No. There's a lot of real, although Tom Brady met the Pope. There's a lot of really big names in the mix. But I think I have to be sensitive to the production and not mention stuff.

Right. But I think it's going to be coming out. I mean, I think more and more will be coming out. And can people get tickets to see this where is it going to be it's in the la forum which is not exactly a cozy room for comedy so that's like 15 000 seats and there's going to be non-professional comedians like you know in the form of athletes and powerful people who you know like, even, and you've played big arenas before, but you just did with Bert. It's like, uh, you know, it's a different, uh, pacing because

it has to reach the back of the room and then their reaction has to roll all the way back up to you and it changes timing significantly. And also there used to be cross talk on the dais where people would kind of heckle each other, which was always fun, but that might be kind of tough with, uh, with 15,000 people in the audience. And all the concussed individuals on stage.

Hey, Gronkowski is just a little tired. That's all. Um, so anyway, yeah, it's exciting. I'm excited. I'm psyched to be in the thick of it.

And then as far as my career goes, radio silence. No, what are you talking about, Mr. Director? I'm going to direct Zane Lamprey's one-hour special. I directed his last special. We're doing that saturday night at a brewery in anaheim it will have happened last night by the time you hear this two shows we've been working on it i think it's a good set i think it's great how did it go let's role play how did it go last night i gotta tell you something this kid hit it out of the park this is gonna put his

name on the map it's gonna put your name on the map you directed it everything went smoothly went smoothly all the cameras were they were supposed to be i mean look directing a guy like him is not that hard because he doesn't move around the stage he's like me he just plants his feet and delivers it you know to the crowd but it's a brewery so it's got its challenges because we've got to dress it and make it, you know, a performance space out of just like a cavernous brewery. I say the challenge, you get another challenge served to you because that walking creates energy. That movement, that pacing, that gesturing creates energy. You're going to have to create energy like a great artist with just that canvas.

Right. Good luck with that shit. Speaking of which my special, I just added, I wish I had walked around the stage more. I think it would have been better. You're good. You're good physically.

Yeah. I think I was in the first half of this and then I kind of, I have memories of you like leaning in and being like when you're, especially you're acting something out no but i mean chris rocking it and like you know pacing a little bit personally i think he's a little too much like uh you know a zoo animal who just paces and i and i a lot of it works for me don't get me wrong but sometimes it's really energetic you know like maybe a little too much speaking of one hour specials uh david tells came out two days ago or three days ago as you're hearing i can't wait holy shit just when you think it's so funny because like a couple weeks ago i was uh on hbo max or max And I noticed they had half hour,

the, the, the half hour comedy hours. Is that what they were called? They're HBO. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And, I watched it tells, and I was like, this is a fucking tiger in his prime. This is a killer. So tight. I tells new special even more.

So he's so, it's just so goddamn funny. It's amazing. He's, he's truly,'s just so goddamn funny it's amazing he's he's truly i think one of the funniest persons ever and definitely i'm glad to hear all this because so many my whole life since you introduced me to him it's like talking about an amazing jazz guy and then people get the album and they're like yeah i know it's really good it's great it's like you were calling him the greatest ever though and i and i not quite you know what i mean like there was a little bit of that with the tell where it's like there's an energy that he

gets on this wavelength in a room and i've never seen anything like it yeah and it didn't always translate to the camera. And this one really does. And I think the way they shot it, they really surrounded him in cameras. They were all handheld cameras. So everything was moving as he moved. Tons of crowd shots. Because for most comics,

you don't really want to see the crowd that much. Because you can always sweeten the sound a little bit in a special, but you can't sweeten people you know laughing and smiling and clapping and with him they truly are like they are people are wiping tears from their people's glasses are off and and it's just so fucking fun i don't know if you saw the trailer but i mean every part of it is a couple of jokes on Instagram. Yeah. What was the one you told me about last night? We talked about living in New York and he's like,

Oh, I got hit by a bicycle. My fault. I was on the sidewalk. Anyways, it was a food delivery guy as, or as we call them, third responders,

third responders, a hero serving heroes to heroes. So good. So I saw him last night. We hung out till very late at night. And he was, of course, critical of his own special, which he always is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, I kind of hacked it up at the end.

Like, no, that was the best part. I love the ending. Of course. Exactly. That's what he's self-conscious about. of hacked it up at the end like no that was the best part i love the ending of course exactly that's what he's self-conscious about the thing that's going to be uh play to a broad audience but rogan uh saw it and he called and this is rogan who you know co-headlines with dave chapelle all the time and chris rock he said that atel is the funniest comedian in America. Wow. Which for Rogan means the world, I think. Yeah.

Right. All right. All right, let's get into it. The logo this week from Bruce Wise. Thank you so much. Look how nice that is. The little Easter. Did I put the wrong one in?

Is that Easter? That is Easter. Yeah. Yeah, thank you for the Easter logo. We've got a little fucking blondie and gubbins in there. It looks Easter-ish. We're all in our sweaters. We got a little gubby, little gubby on,

on maybe your knee. No, when he sent it to me, he goes like, I'm sending this for Easter. So do you know what the photo is? I believe, right?

It's the famous Kate Middleton doctored photo. Oh, right. With the hands and everything. Good catch. Good catch. Yeah, those are your hands around Gubbins and Blondie. The song, holy shit. This was a multi-track, layered, produced.

Ray Liebert, I hope I'm saying it right, Clarkston, made this with his daughter, who was on an upright bass, even though they sounded very techno and electronic. If you listen, you can hear the, I think it was an acoustic upright bass. Well, listen, I'm just going to be totally transparent. Sometimes Greg doesn't send me the songs in advance, and when we're here and he plays them,

for some reason when he plays a song, it doesn't come through this Zoom thing. Anyway, I went on, of course, man of the people, to answer everybody's comments on YouTube. I heard last week's song for the first time on YouTube, the rapping. Yeah. And sampling and taking our, you know, sort of sampling our track ups was fantastic. So

Ray Clarkston, Ray Levert Clarkston, thank you for this effort. And I can't wait to listen to it. And I will talk about it next week, probably. Well, you shitting all over me brings us right up to the corrections. And this is Curtis Bankston, who says, I have a correction for episode 209, a St. Paddy's Day recap, and it's an attitude correction.

You guys were very snippy with each other, especially Greg towards Mike. Yes, yes. I don't like it when mommy and daddy fight please work it out i think a hug and a couple i love yous are in order was i snippy last week well it's also weird you just said i was shitting on you when all i said is sometimes greg forgets to send me the music and then he tries to play them that's so something's going on uh i wonder what it was well sometimes i deserve it i actually deserve it a bit today the full-time more than full-time job which is my excuse that i'm playing and uh it is an excuse anyway oh i didn't know you were

directing a special this saturday oh god so, obituary was a little harder to find, especially at the last minute when we've kind of already started the podcast. There wasn't a biggie this week. There's a ditty. What about news stories, like putting one in? What do you mean?

Come on. The first two at least are mine. Oh. Come on. See, we're doing it again. Jesus Christ, we need to see a counselor and then i have to go through yours and i have to remove where like young children were killed but first raped

yeah well yeah i just look i throw everything at the wall throw everything at the wall this was a note all right here ready behind the scenes you want to peek behind the curtain? I literally went through this Google doc that we share. I do the cross, the strikeout, the strikeout thing to the font. I say to him above it in a comment, I'm not sure we need this story as we already have child trafficking above with Diddy. Or sex trafficking. Sorry. Sex trafficking above with Diddy or sex trafficking sorry sex trafficking above with Diddy yeah so anyway that was a little you know you took the note you took it very well it disappeared

right out all right is this podcast brought by anybody uh as a matter of fact well it's brought to you by stand-up comedy uh most specifically, Boca Raton, Florida. Oh, wow. Yes. April 3rd at Meisner Park. And then I'll be in Tampa Bay at Sidesplitters. Top three clubs in the country in my mind. April 4th to the 6th.

Irvine Improv just announced April 18th through the 20th. Mamaroneck, New York. Emmeline Theater, May 31st. Austin, Texas at the Mothership. June 7th through the 20th. Mamaroneck, New York. Emmeline Theater, May 31st. Look at that. Austin, Texas at the Mothership, June 7th through the 9th. And then Pittsburgh at the WDVE Festival on June 21st with Harlan Williams. You got to go to Sal's Pizza in Mamaroneck. Oh, right, on North Avenue.

On what is it called? North Avenue. Is it North Avenue? I don't know. The main drag, yeah. Tickets at FitzDawg.com. Also, we should talk about how support for Sunday Papers comes from Mint Mobile. You know, there's a lot of fine print in your...

Contract? In your contract with wireless providers. Make it easy. You get ripped off. So when I heard about Mint Mobile's wireless plans, $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I was like, wait a minute. There's got to be some kind of a catch.

Nope. Then I talked to them. It all makes sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is they're all online, the whole wireless service. They cut out the cost of retail stores and you get those savings. I'll tell you something, the quality is better. I'm not going to say what I used to have because I've moved on. I'm saving, I'm saving, I believe over a hundred dollars a month.

My old provider. I don't know if they lost the tower. All of a sudden I get crappy reception in my apartment, you know, where I live and a mint mobile to the rescue. Great reception. So, um,

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nice yeah and what else what else do we got here well support for sunday papers also comes from delete me i like delete me talk about yeah i mean come on have you ever anyone been a victim of identity theft or harassed or scammed or just annoyed also just by spam or robocalls take care of all of that privacy matters our personal information is everywhere and now you want to get the peace of mind with delete me it's a subscription service that removes your personal info from the largest people that search databases on the web and in the process helps prevent potential id theft doxing and phishing what's doxing is that where you were dock siders no docs it's a form of phishing though where they basically they sucker you and by the way as we've talked about my dad

it happens so frequently it's ridiculous no no. I got this from my mom. When we started doing these reads, I signed up. It's basically saving my mother from probably losing what I will someday inherit. That's why I did it. That's my money. A third of that money is mine. Right. So listen, they send you regular personalized privacy reports

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J-O-I-N-D-E-L-E-T-E-M-E dot com PAPERS. Nice. All right. So that's very exciting. Now we get to go to the front page at 32 minutes into a podcast. That's how we roll. Here we go. Oh, that's crisp.

Pretty crisp still. Extra! Extra! We all love it! Extra! It sure is. All right. Diddy.

Feds, dirt on Diddy. The hip-hop mogul is being investigated for sex. Let me start this again. I'm a mess. Feds dirt on Diddy. The hip hop mogul is being investigated for sex trafficking. On Sunday evening, the 54 year old rapper's private plane was tracked departing the sacramento executive airport and then landed in palm springs international airport about an hour later one hour after that his plane took off from palm springs and landed the la-based van nuys airport the plane landed around eight local time then monday morning around 9 a.m the plane departed that airport in Van Nuys and landed in Antigua. You would think with a private jet and being a major star, you wouldn't have to make that many connections.

Everybody thought he was on the plane and had left the country, but he was spotted pacing in the Miami airport. Now, a theory I've heard is he emptied his house of content and files and computers. This is allegedly loaded the plane and got them out of the country. You think he dumped them all in the Atlantic Ocean on the flight over? No, they can't. I don't think they can go to Antigua and get them.

I think I was reading, though, Antigua seems to have signed an extradition treaty with the U.S. Is that true? Yeah, it used to be a place where you could just go hide out. And now I think we put some pressure on them, and I don't think he can hide out there. Now, this headline, by the way, Feds Dirt on Diddy, I got to tell you, that was the New York Post. I think they were a little asleep because the New York Post. Not their best work. I was expecting Diddy Do It.

D-I-D-D-Y, do it. What about P. Diddley? Rough Daddy? Rough Daddy, Rough Daddy? Is that what you said? Yeah, instead of Puff Daddy. I like that. It seems also Diddy's sampling new material, and it's R. Kelly.

That's... Yeah, right, right. Because it's not only sex trafficking. I think there's rumors that some of them might not have been that old. I'm not talking really young, but still. This is like, it's so much of this in the news. This is a sex traffic jam. I wonder if the plane's autopilot was like, you want to go to Epstein's Island, right?

Right? Right? No? Okay. Yeah. Sorry. They should put him in the same cell Epstein was in because crazy shit happens in that cell. Or he could go to Ghislaine's cell.

She's the next story. Oh, yeah, let's talk about that. Ghislaine Maxwell, quote, looks great as she runs Florida prison's half marathon. She also does yoga and Pilates ahead of her March appeal. She was photographed jogging behind bars in Florida recently and will actually be running in her prison's half marathon. That's I didn't know prisons did that. That's kind of keeping the spirit up there.

Well, the race, if it was a full marathon, they'd be out of prison. That's why it's a half marathon. The race at the barbed wire encircled federal correction institution of Tallahassee included 19 inmates who ran 52 times around the prison's track to cover 13.1 miles. 14.1 miles. Now, Mike, I'm no seasoned prison warden.

I think people know that or anything, but you may want to reconsider letting prisoners train for long distance running. Yeah. Is there a rock climbing wall contest, surviving in the woods seminars? How about digging? How about digging? Yeah, the prisoner's like, no, no, no, it's the latest high-impact aerobic activity, digging. She would have run a full marathon, and the video is really great because you can see that she's chained to other prisoners.

They all have their ankle chains on. It's a chain gang. They're just clanking around that track 52 times. It's definitely better for the glutes, that extra weight around the ankles. Yeah. Diddy's jogging now just to get ready for the prison race. He's on the run. See that? I think she's encouraging the other prisoners.

She is trying to get the younger inmates into amazing shape. She's giving them makeovers, teaching them how to talk sexy to rich guys. She may never get out, but it's just a force of habit. Maybe she's going to start a conjugal visit company. She's very industrious. Yeah, she is. Yeah, you can massage someone through bars. Utah grief author Corey Richens was arrested last year and charged.

This is a little hard to follow this story. What is that title? What is that profession? A grief author? She writes books about grief. Oh, so she needed material. Spoiler alert. Well, yeah.

So she's charged with aggravated murder. She killed her husband, Eric Richens, in Salt Lake City. He was found unresponsive in the home after having a drink to celebrate his wife's business deal. They found a lethal dose of fentanyl in her. And I, by the way, this story I follow, very simple thing is she's in prison for that she poisoned him with this cocktail then i guess they found out that earlier yeah on a valentine's day he nearly died after she brought him a sandwich in 2022 valentine's day yeah she she he texted her and said he was not feeling good and that he was going to the hospital. She said he should just take a nap. No, no, no. Don't rush

into things. You know, our co-pays. Yeah. That's what I'm like with my daughters, by the way. I don't know. I think it's, it's not pink. I just, just get away from me me get away from me and go to your room yeah and just sleep it off um i love i love this it's like my husband never does the dishes well maybe that's because you give him fennel for dinner doesn't do anything after dinner it also could get into the skin don't expose yourself yeah wow does she work in the kitchen in prison yeah that would be exciting when she's like anyone Expose yourself. Yeah. Wow. Does she work in the kitchen in prison? There you go.

That would be exciting when she's like, anyone want to try this new sandwich I made? No, we're good. We're good. Yeah. Thanks, Corey. All right. Dodger Stadium in LA is known for being one of the biggest and oldest baseball parks in the country, 10 World Series, the Beatles, Elton John.

Before its construction in 1962, though, the area was home to thousands of residents, many of them Mexican, Chinese, and Italian. Mmm, delicious. That is a real gourmet ravine. Oh, that's like a food truck block in Los Feliz. Nearly 1,800 of those families were displaced to build a stadium. State legislators are now considering a bill seeking reparations for the families. Yeah, you waited long enough.

Imagine being a grown person in 62 what are the odds and also living a hard life what are the odds you're still alive and what are the odds they want the terms of this deal a lifetime supply of dodger dogs only available one hour after the end of the game yeah that's not when you want the dodger dog good luck getting the settlement in time we matter a dodger dog if you order it in the Dodger dog. Good luck getting the settlement at time. We matter a Dodger dog. If you ordered in the first inning, you're standing there till the third inning. Right.

You think they're going to give out cash faster than a Dodger dog? Yeah, it is. Well, it truly is home plate there. Cause it was Juan Carlos home back in 1961. Is that a stretch? That joke?

Maybe. I like Juan Carlos. Why don't you do the Trump Bible? Former President Donald Trump is celebrating Easter by hawking copies of his new product, the God Bless the USA Bible, insisting that supporters buy it for the sake of their hearts and souls. He is so selfless. It's amazing. He just gives selfless. It's amazing.

He just gives. And it's so great. You know, Easter shouldn't be commercial. And, you know, like, let's just, let's just think about the Bible trade. It will include copies of the Constitution, Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence, and Pledge of Allegiance.

And both of his divorce papers, his six chapter 11 filings, his receipt from paying the porn star, his pardons to his entire presidential staff, receipts for the 63 abortions he paid for in the 80s, a Trump University diploma you can fill in yourself. Yeah, respected everywhere. Come on, Greg, what about Biden?

What about Hunter? And this is very important and very, he goes, and this is very important and very important to me. I want to have a lot of people have it. You have to have it for your heart, for your soul. I'm not making any of this up. This is word for word. Many of you have never read them and I don't know the liberty and you, oh, sorry. Many of you, many of you have never read them. And I don't know the liberty. And you. Oh, sorry. Many of you. Many of you have never read them and don't know the liberties and rights you have as Americans and how you are being threatened to lose those rights. Are you talking about he's not. Oh, he's not talking about democracy. It's happening all the time, said Trump. It's a very sad thing that's going on in our country, but we're going to get it turned around. Religion and Christianity are the biggest things missing from this country. And I truly

believe that we need to bring them back here and we have to bring them back constantly lies he's taken oaths i mean how is the bible not burning as he holds it in his hand how is his hand not burning i wonder what he really thinks of the book he's had the complete disregard every wife by the, he does not dispute this. He has cheated on every wife that he has taken an oath to. Yeah. In a church. Yeah, I mean, it really is like I we really go out of our way not to be partisan on this show. But I mean, it is at the point with Trump where you I'm not even talking about Republican. We're talking about a lunatic. How much more of a caricature can this guy be selling by just his hawking?

This, I mean, everybody knows the clip now of him. Somebody asking him what's his favorite story from the Bible. And he, I have so many Greg. I, I mean,

there's, I'm supposed to just point to one. Yeah. It's, it's a great book. I always say it's my second favorite book after art of the deal he never goes i mean just come on he never goes to church he lies to everybody he cheats he cheats on his i mean i'm not even bringing up all the criminal like i'm not even bringing

up the criminal activity i'll give you that how about that i'll give you that. How about that? I'll give you all the crimes. He doesn't pay people. There are so many lawsuits on people he has just screwed over, breaking promises, breaking contracts. All right, speaking of a guy in fantasy land, what is PrizePix? It is the largest daily fantasy sports platform in North America. Easiest, most exciting way to play DFS. It's just you against the numbers. Instead of battling thousands of

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but action on the floor is heating up. We're talking about March Madness here. Oh, yeah. We're talking about the number one fantasy app where you can turn your hoops knowledge into serious cash. You can now win up to 100 times your money on PrizePix with as little as four correct picks.

Turn $10 into $1,000 with NBA, NHL, and college basketball entries today on PrizePix with as little as four correct picks turned $10 into $1,000 with NBA, NHL, and college basketball entries today on PrizePix, America's number one fantasy app. You can find community plays under the promos tab of the app. View entries from some of the biggest names in the PrizePix community each week. Yeah, so this is really an exciting way to do it. Um, I players and stat types, uh, are, you know, sorry, I'm totally fucking this up. All right. Here's some of the, here's some of the prize picks I'm selecting this week. Steph Curry for more than 29 points and Nikola Djokic for more than 10 rebounds.

Anthony Davis for more than two blocks and Damian Lillard for more than four three-pointers. Here's a good one. Kaitlin Clark for more than 30 points. What do we think about that one? Well, it's coupled with LeBron James for more than seven assists. Oh. So that's a piece of cake. I about that one and well it's coupled with lebron james for more than seven assists oh that's that's a piece of cake i like that one all right so download the app today use code papers for a first deposit match of up to 100. And listen, pick more, pick less. It's that easy.

Prize picks. Pick them. Pick them. All right. Entertainment? Yeah, let's do some entertainment. Oh, there we are. This is related to the Diddy.

To the Diddy. Cuba Gooding Jr. Huh? Are you reading this or am I reading this? Oh, you can read it. Cuba Gooding Jr. is being accused of sexual assault. I put this in by Rodney Lilrod Jones Jr. who filed a lawsuit against Sean Diddy Combs in February.

Jones, who previously worked as a producer for Combs 54, alleged in a civil complaint in New York that Combs sexually harassed, drugged, and threatened him for over a year. In the complaint, Jones claims that the Oscar winner began touching. Oh, he's talking about Cuba Gooding Jr. Oscar winner began touching, groping, and fondling his thighs, his upper inner thighs, near his groin, the small of his back, near his buttocks and his shoulders,

while on a yacht in the U.S. Virgin Islands. That's a sexy article. Did the hands get down to his little rod? Sexy article. Yeah. Did it get to the hands? Get down to his little rod. Jones believes Combs was grooming him to pass off to his friends when he introduced to Jones,

when he introduced Jones to Gooding and allegedly suggested that Cuba get to know Mr. Jones better. More like Cuba batting junior. Uh, better more like cuba batting junior uh this is what we do know because all these clips are coming out uh usher did you see usher's clip on howard stern what did he say from back in the day so when usher was really young diddy signed him and uh usher went up to new New York and lived with Diddy. Oh, right. And basically Stern was trying to get out of him. He's just like, let's just say I saw a lot of stuff.

Stern pressed him on it. And then basically he's like, listen, I think maybe he was 15 or I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure about that because I know there's also Bieber. I might be confusing it. So anyway, but, uh, what Usher said was, I, I was, I don't think I knew what I was seeing. was witnessing was in these sex parties and of course the women have accused him he pays people uh to come over and have sex like with his his girlfriend and then he watches and then crazy stuff sexual stuff going on in all these uh houses of his uh with his parties well he's a producer he produces things yeah so uh yeah and then i saw yeah and then what's the stuff with uh bieber what it was apparently there's some creepy video of him walking with a shirtless bieber and i mean what's

the deal is i mean i don't i know so little about this is it that bieber was 15 and he had him and he kind of was joking well i got custody of him for the weekend and we're going to go out there. And I think Bieber at one point goes like, yeah, get some girls. But it's like this 15 year old kid. And he's like, and I know Usher has him or something like that. But I have custody of him over the weekend. It was that was what the clip was all about. So who's gay?

Is Diddy gay? Is, is, is Diddy gay? There's a lot of rumors that Diddy's bisexual. And Cuba is gay? And I can, I think I can say that without adding the word allegedly

because I'm saying they're rumors. Yeah, and I'm not trying to villainize gay people. I'm just confused about who's going after who here.

And now, Cuba Gooding Jr., is he gay? Uh, I don't know the answer to that. Oh, well done. Well done.

Well played, Gibbons. No, no. But also, like, but it's different than, you're not villainizing a gay guy. You're maybe villainizing someone who lies about it and is criminal also about their sex life. There's rumors about a lot, and it's I think I, do I call them rumors, but they're in their legal documents of all the lawsuits that have come up against him now. That doesn't mean they're true, but they're in those of listing all the drugs that would be used at these

sexual encounters and parties. Hmm. Yeah. Ketamine. That's crazy. It goes on and on. Lots of them. I mean, why am I never invited to parties? Like, parties are...

I go to parties and people are like, eh, it's 930. Should we take a micro dose of marijuana? Yeah. You even said it earlier. We were at a dinner party. Diddy didn't throw dinner parties. They were Diddy parties. Diddy parties.

Yeah. They were... PP. I'm assuming you're having an episode. I'm going to go forward with the next category here. Did you freeze? Oh, Jesus. I'm assuming you're having an episode. I'm going to go forward with the next category here. Did you freeze? Oh, Jesus.

You're like a fucking mannequin. You're like, you should be in a... I was trying to make a joke about instead of pee-diddy, pee-pee-diddy, like there was golden showers going on. I'll give you time to get that right. In the meantime, we are going to make California Florida. Whoa! Hey, now. Make California Florida.

Whoa! Hey now. I just want to spread it around. New segment. I should know his name. He sent in this article, which is nice, and he said something about sneaking it in as a Florida man. I don't know. It didn't really make sense, but this is the story jumped out at me.

It didn't really make sense, but this is the story jumped out at me. Man arrested for allegedly taking leg after California train incident and eating it. At around 8 a.m., deputies responded with the BNSF Railroad Police Department to a report of a pedestrian who was struck by a train at the station in the 700 block in wasco never even heard of wasco deputies said they learned that tell us the guy allegedly removed evidence a leg from the scene a crew laying concrete outside of the station reported seeing a horrifying sight quote i'm not sure from where but he walked this way and he was waving a person's leg and he started chewing on it over there he was biting it and he was hitting it against the wall and everything said jose obara a worker who saw the incident so this guy was found and arrested without incident except that one on multiple outstanding warrants and for taking evidence from the scene it sounds like they could get him for

more than that yeah i think uh so basically what are we saying was this like uh an unhoused person is how you say was this a mentally deranged person who came across a dismembered leg? You're saying that, not I. You're not saying anything today. Because of the roast, you're afraid you're going to get canceled or something? I think I've said some pretty inappropriate things already, as usual. I said pee-pee-ditty. That's going to get me. That's going to get you uncanceled, I think. It sounds so gentle.

Yeah. I don't know, uncanceled, I think. It sounds so gentle. Yeah. I don't know, but this guy, I mean, that's an eating. What would the charges be? It's more than taking evidence. I think if you find a piece of meat and you're out and you're hungry, you should be able to eat the piece of meat. You know, if it was a deer, would you be in trouble for eating the deer leg?

This is L.A. The wildlife for the people. You actually could get in a lot of trouble with deer. It depends on the season. It depends how it was gotten. I think all of that stuff. But is there cannibalism? I mean, there's obviously laws against cannibalism.

But could he claim he didn't know it was a human leg? You know what's funny is they don't give you any update about what happened to the guy who got run over. No one gives a shit about that guy, apparently. Nobody cares. Yeah. He's like, I'm the only one who should care about this guy biting my leg. I'm trying to get it reattached. I'd like all of it,

please. They're screaming at the guy who's holding it. Be careful. Don't, don't have his leg touch the third rail. Don't worry. Eating it. I don't know.

Are we going to sports? Let's go to sports. I don't know what this story is. The National Football League has adopted a landmark rule change Tuesday to kick off plays. To kick off plays. You really have to accentuate the to kickoff plays. You got to, you really have to accentuate the right words to kickoff plays that will take some time for your football eyes to get used to. But the hope is to revive a once exciting play with more returns and player safety at the forefront.

The rule is designed to increase the number of kickoff returns per game while attempting to make the play safer for players by negating the need to run or defend the length of the field. Instead of players trotting onto the field to watch a kicker sail a football into the end zone, special teams players will line up five yards apart from each other on the 40 and 35-yard lines and wait until a kick lands or is touched by one of the two pussies, I mean returners,

from the other team. Huh. You obviously have to, the kick has to reach there, obviously. It has to go across your own line. If it doesn't reach there, it automatically comes out to the 40-yard line. If it either goes short or out of bounds, then the ball comes out to the 40-yard line. 40? 40-yard line. If it either goes short or out of bounds, then the ball comes out to the 40-yard line. 40?

40-yard line. That's crazy. It's crazy. I mean, it's like, you know, there are records that have been held for 60 years in the NFL, and now all these things are going to get changed. I don't like it. I don't.

I understand the head injury thing. But then, you know, signal for, you know, fair catches more if you're scared. Yeah. It's going to change special teams. I mean, now they're just going to put the big guys out there. Right. You don't need the guy who can get downfield fastest. Yeah, there's going to be less.

I don't know. Is this going to create's going to be less. I don't know. Is this going to create more long returns or less? I don't understand that. You know, Larry David goes, he was on Rich Eisen's show and maybe others where he claims he is a big football fan despite liking the Jets like myself and he

thinks they should remove goal posts from the game of football. No kidding. It's the weirdest thing. You have this game and then something incredibly unrelated happens where a person who doesn't look like a football player has to kick a ball and he goes, it would be like in baseball. You have the beautiful game of baseball,

but then all of a sudden very often to decide the game there's two giant like foul poles in the middle of center field and then guys would have to be like on the pitcher's mound and hit fungos and can they hit a ball between the uprights what's a fungo you know you you you toss the ball up and hit it yourself. No, not even that, because that actually involves the same skill set of swinging something at a ball. This is kicking it. You don't use your feet in football until the field goal. No, you're right.

There's one guy who uses his feet. You're right. Well, punter, I guess. But you're right. But the punting, yeah. I do think it's, it is pretty boring though. I always pre-record football games and then I fast forward through kickoffs because it's so rare that something happens. 11 minutes of action.

I fast forward from the field goal. I don't even watch field goals. From the touchdown to the next line of scrimmage play is I fast forward. That's why college sports can be more exciting because there are gimmies that are not so gimme when you're at the college level. Did you see the opening game for Yale in March Madness? No. The last, I don't know, 20 seconds

of the game was like just foul, foul, foul, so it took forever. But three missed free throws in the last 20 seconds. All of them having a giant impact on the game. Wow.

Yeah. And Yale won. They beat, I think it was Auburn. I think it was a Southern because I was in. Yeah, but did Yale really lose in the end, in the long run? Did Yale really lose to a bunch of guys from Georgia? I think they're going to do okay. Yeah.

But they lost the second round. They got beat bad. All right. We're not going to do... Are we doing... Let's save business. Oh, yeah? I think so. All right.

This day in history, pal. All right, let's do it. Here we go. This day in history, pal. All right, let's do it. Here we go. Oh, yeah, we forgot to make corrections a section again. All right, this day in history. Let me tell you a thing or two.

The Eiffel Tower in Paris, France is inaugurated. Give or take 15 years. What year? Eiffel Tower. Eiffel Tower, did you say? Yes, and people hated it for the most part. It's an erector set. I think it was part of a world's fair i'm guessing i'm gonna say it went up in 1895 you son of a b 1889 nice was it part of a world's fair i don't know daylight savings time goes into effect in the USA for the first time on this date.

What year, give or take 15 again? 15. I literally couldn't tell you the century that this happened in. It's the USA. I'll say 1895 again. Just missed. 1918. Ah, damn it.

Then I think it went away for a little while. The changes happened to it, I think. I think it's going away again. There's a bill right now to get rid of daylight savings time. It's kind of antiquated. Wasn't it made for farmers? There's always that. You know, there's a a lot of i've definitely heard the farmer thing um yeah i'm not really sure um okay Uh, yep.

It'd be so great if you could actually look at these in advance and have them like written. Well, you know what? You know why I don't? Because history is always changing. It's true. Anything could happen. Yeah. Okay.

What are they saying here? French mathematician, scientist, and philosopher Descartes. Rene, Rene Descartes, that one. He's considered the father of modern philosophy. He's best known, you know what phrase he's best known for? I think therefore I am. Bingo. Bingo.

He was born on this day in what year, give or take 100 years? 1840. 1596. No! No way! Really? Modern philosophy. Damn!

Began in 1596. Shit. A lot of these other ones are presidential and war and like Jesse Owens. So you're going to know. You're going to know. You're going to get pretty close. 1938, Jesse Owens. Yeah.

It might have said like when he was born or something, but I think you could do that math. Here's one. Yeah. For this week. uh oh fuck that it was hill street blues the creator bochco a goddamn legend but he died at the age of 74 we don't care about that no we don't care i had the netherlands okay i was just there okay became the first country to grant first country to grant equal marriage rights. I thought it was Ireland, by the way.

The Netherlands became the first country to grant equal marriage rights to same-sex couples on this day, what year, give or take five? 1987. You are too progressive, man. You're such a lefty. You're such a libtard. 2001. Really?

Yeah. By the way, isn't same-sex, why is same-sex about gay people? Have you seen gay porn? They are swinging dicks, and they are upside down as three four guys it's never the same american singer songwriter marvin gay he was shot and killed by his father in la on this day in what year give or take five years 1974 1984 i think his famous national anthem was 79 over the NBA.

Okay. One more Steve jobs and Steve Wozniak, who deserves a lot more credit and Ronald Wayne, who deserves so much credit. His name's not even a hyperlink in this goddamn thing formed Apple computer. And it became one of the world's leading tech companies those nerds created it on this day or this week what year give or take seven years 1985 i knew you'd go high 76 no shit No shit. Really? Well, they created Apple Computer Inc.

They weren't rolling out computers yet. Well, you didn't specify that. Okay. All right, we're good. Let's do some letters to the editor. All right. Okay. That's Chris Baker.

We got Jim G. I wanted to put this comment on YouTube, but it meant I would have to register with Google. So here it is. Good point. I think Mike invented a new euphemism at about 29 minutes when he said, crinkle that banana wrapper. Hmm. Crinkle that banana wrapper.

Right. You, was it banana? You had a wrapper that you were crinkling. Oh. Were you taking bananas out of a bag? It was banana chips in a Trader Joe's bag. Yeah, that's it. And you said crinkle that banana wrapper.

It's sexual. According to Gingy, it's sexual. It's like a stripper, you know, and John stage three. Crinkle that banana wrapper, baby. Yeah. Kenny Stewart said, I listened to the last Sunday papers podcast and the story about the unfortunate young man who stumbled out of the bar and into the river made the news. You guys covered a lot of unusual aspects of the incident, except perhaps the most interesting. This case plays directly

into the so-called smiley face killer. You might take a quick look at this. This has been largely dismissed by the FBI and many investigators, but there are some holdouts who still lend this phenomenon a lot of credence. When I'm procrastinating, I may just very well look this up. Smiley face killer. You're looking it up? Yeah. Yeah. Let's take our listeners on a journey okay killer is uh a theory advanced by retired new york detectives blah blah blah uh it alleges that 45

young men found dead in bodies of water across several Midwestern American states from the late 1990s to the 2010s did not accidentally drown, as concluded by the police, but were victims of one or multiple serial killers. The term smiley face became connected to the alleged murders when it was made public that the police had discovered graffiti depicting a smiley face near locations where they think the killer dumped the bodies in at least a dozen of the cases all right all right so there you go all right kenny then we have uh doug crumpton mur What the hell kind of name is that? Crumpton Murray. Maybe he's gay and that's his husband's surname as well?

It's probably his grandfather who passed away. Go ahead. Gay grandfather. Right after listening to your comments about the city being an exciting place and having an edge to it, the following happened. I'm in L.A. Monday to cheer on my hometown Kansas Jayhawks playing USC in the NCAA tournament at USC. So I'm parked off Figueroa right near the campus when a group of eight to ten teenagers come roaring up on motorcycles, riding with the front tire high in the air. A highway patrol car is coming the other way,

hits the siren and U-turns in pursuit. The group looks at each other, laughs, and one of them lets go of the handlebars with the wheel still up, wheel, to shoot up in reverse and give them the double bird. They were so unconcerned about it,

it was hilarious. You don't see that in Ohio in their gated communities. Yeah. What do you want to see? What did you see? Do you see a guy walking a Labradoodle in your gated community? Monday, I left USC where I'm teaching a class and I had to do a Zoom. And the Zoom was right after.

So I found what I thought was a quiet street right kind of in the USC neighborhood. Of course, it might even be USC housing. Not a good neighborhood. And I pulled over. Look, you look for my best signal, pulled over, and a homeless, whatever they call it, home-challenged man went berserk in my window screaming at me during the zoom really and and i i had to pull away because i thought he was going to smash my window holy shit yep fun fun stuff down yeah keeps you on your toes keeps you in the moment

i wish i did the zoom in a gated community. I got to tell you that. Koozies, we got new Koozie orders. I'm sending them out. We got new Koozie. The Koozie orders are still coming. It was a Christmas offering, but people can't get enough of them. It's an Easter Koozie.

Yeah, it's an Easter Koozie. You can put eggs in it. You can dye it, whatever color you want in yeah it's the Easter koozie you can put eggs in it you can dye it whatever color you want to dye it yeah and if you go to fitsdog.com you can find the link and find out how to get yourself a little koozie for $10 all in including

shipping alright let's take it down a notch let's take it down a notch to a very quick obituary and that's all folks Here we go. Let's take it down a notch to a very quick obituary. And that's all, folks. Well, Joe Lieberman died. I was not a fan of his, but he was the former senator and vice presidential nominee.

He was a mumbler. He was a fucking sourpuss. No, but there are other things I didn't like about him. We'll leave that out. Richard Serra. He was a sculptor known for his massive steel artworks, sometimes called the Poet of Iron. He died at his home in Orient, New York of pneumonia at the age of 85. Legendary. He was often called the greatest sculptor of his time and his imposing work can be seen around the world. He was often called the greatest sculptor of his time, and his imposing work can be seen around the world. He came of age in the minimalist art movement, and his stark sculptures reflected this influence. He spoke of a key inspiration that came much earlier than his art school days at, you guessed it, Yale. Yale.

No one guessed it. Sarah's father worked at a San Francisco shipyard, and Sarah had a formative memory of a visit to the shipyard on his fourth birthday. There he watched a tanker launch a moment that he later said contained, quote, all the raw material that I needed. Well, too bad he wasn't around to see one of those tankers go to a shipping yard in Baltimore and take out the bridge. Oh, yeah. We left that story out this week, didn't we? And I'm watching The Wire. It's about the Baltimore port.

Right, right. There's a conspiracy theory that it took out the bridge on purpose. Why? Because it'll drastically, that shutting off that port, the guy listed all the things in the percentage of U.S. materials that are coming in there and fuel that's coming in there and all that. And also, there's losers, but

there's going to be winners from that port going out for a while. Interesting. I don't believe any of it, though. I've debunked it in my own head. Yeah. Okay. Should we cheer up? Let's cheer up. Alright, here we go cheer up time all right so uh hager the horrible you've got lucky in a bar

and he is indeed getting lucky he's talking to a woman dave everybody's got a goblet nice brunette yep everyone's drinking nice brunette she's got cleavage, which I think you would want the opposite of in the medieval times. She says, I'm not getting any younger. And he goes, I totally relate to that. Then she turns around and walks away and goes, so then you won't mind if I go mingle? You don't really have to go mingle. I think if you just don't hide, you'll be able to have sex with somebody fairly soon. Yeah, you have hair. They can grab it.

Yep. She's wearing earrings. Getting all dolled up. And then we've got Hager and Lucky charging up the hill in the first frame. Swords out, shields in hand. Lucky says, why is Helga leading the charge?

And in the second frame, you see the castle in the view and the three of them and Helga running towards it. And Hager goes, she found out the Duchess has a walk-in shoe closet. And Lucky's like, is it a coincidence? I mean, that's what we call her pussy. Is she being literal? Yeah. Because we know we're going to the Duchess's Hot Pocket. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And then we got cheering up a little bit from all that. Did I do this one last week? You did do this one last week. Okay. So cut it out. Why?

I like it. You want me to read it again? People don't listen every week. A lot of you do. A lot of you do. Loretta hugs Leroy and she goes, a smile is just a frown that's not paying attention. Oh, no.

That's what Leroy says to her. She's smiling. And he goes, a smile is just a frown that's not paying attention. Yeah, you did two weeks in a row and you read it wrong. Here's a far side. I'm not doing a family circus. It's a far side.

You did this far side. No, never. No, there's similar ones. He does a lot of scientists. Right. So the scientists, you see the board behind them with drawings of a rocket and all the dimensions. And it's a perfectly drawn rock and all that. Now, the three of them are all holding their binders and their lab coats.

And they're looking at what they built, which is on the floor in front of them. And it's the most effed up crooked rocket you've ever seen. And the guy goes, it's time we face reality, my friends. We're not exactly rocket scientists. It's harmless. It's good. Speaking of harmless, here's fucking Dodo sitting on the couch with a remote in his hand. Blondie's sitting next to him.

Dodo sitting on the couch with a remote in his hand. Blondie's sitting next to him. She's got her legs crossed as if to say, there's no reason to open these motherfuckers with this guy sitting next to me. She goes, honey, tonight let's watch whatever you want. And he goes, hey, thanks, honey. And then they keep watching. And then she goes, which I suppose is pretty much like every night, huh, dear?

And he goes, you're kind of taking the fun out of it, sweetheart. All right. First of all, why is she so beta in this marriage? She is so clearly out of his league, and yet she defaults to him choosing. And also, if I'm him and I get to choose, guess what I'm putting on? Japanese hidden camera massage porn, but the woman's got a yellow wig on how about that details details too many yellow wig walking on my back TMD too many details yeah I guess so but she just looks she's got the body language of a wife who has just given up, who is no longer- She's so medicated, right?

I've got to think so, yeah. She is so medicated. She has to sustain this thing. No more running for the shelter of your mother's little helper. And it just obliterates her sex drive, which she needs that also. She needs it to be obliterated.

Well, obliterating hers is still, it's still going to be four times what a normal woman's is. That's how driven she is sexually and how much she's not taking advantage of that opportunity. Oh, you think just based on her physical appearance, she's a vibrant sexual person? That's how I see it. Voracious? Okay. I like it. I think everybody agrees that's how i see it voracious okay i like it i know i think everybody agrees that's how you see it i agree all right well speaking of voracious if you guys want to support the show and we hope you do prize picks man make it exciting prize picks makes it exciting. Mint Mobile makes it cheap and also... High quality. And also, I think that

we did price picks and the other one. What, you delete me? Delete me! You forget because it erases. It's an erasing thing. That's what it does. You're not going to get scammed.

We want to thank Midcoast Media. We did not give Chris Denman any heads up, so he did not join us this week on us. Sorry, Chris. It was kind of a last minute scheduling thing. Thanks, Midcoast Media, for fixing

the help the audio when I was without my mic last week. It sounded good. Sounded good on YouTube. Real good. And anything you want to promote, Mike? I'd like to promote how I tape. Chris isn't even listening.

He has to send me the holder for this Heil mic because it doesn't fit the quality. You know you can go on this thing called the internet and go to the Heil site and get a clip for probably $9. What? Nine? Maybe I'm just going to fashion a koozie maybe around it to hold it in place yeah yeah because i have one i have one in the other room just don't wait to ship it to yourself all right thank you guys for listening and uh we'll catch you next time take it Finish! We're rolling up the Sunday papers To give our brains some food Thank you.