Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 225 8/4/24

Episode Date: August 4, 2024

A lot of talk about Paris and Comic-Con. Also, Philly Man, Florida Man and Texas Man bring the chaos.

The end of the week is here at last catching up on all the news with the Sunday Papers podcast. Greg and Mike espouse their judgments hiding them as facts. But give them a break, it's all for a laugh. The Sunday Papers podcast. Nice sir, three, two, one. Hey now, read all about it. Read all about it. Sunday papers, flop it on your doorstep with the promise of information, of laughter,

of introspection. Sometimes we get a little bit serious. We talked about Mike's mom passing. What's the update? How are you feeling? What's your emotional state? It was total false alarm. She's back. Oh, that's the update? How are you feeling? What's your emotional state? It was total false alarm. She's back.

Oh, that's great. Yeah, no, it was this condition where you can, it seems you don't breathe for like two weeks. Yeah. And then, and you're cremated, but then you come back. My therapist, my therapist is thinking it might be a little denial on my part, but I think I mean, I see her.

Does this mean you have to give the inheritance back or do you get to keep that? I spent it all. I had to tell her it broke her heart. I mean, I think she was crying. It was hard to tell. Sometimes she's blurry. Right, right. Yeah.

So there's also that. Well, I can't wait to see. Let's have. Right. Right. Yeah. So there's also that. Well, I can't wait to see. Let's have brunch with her. I know she, she looks very hungry. So, um, all right. On that note, I do want to, you send me these things and this one choked me up the other day. I probably will now too. Um, you send me two emails and they, and it's so sweet. It just says for Mike and, um, this guy, he didn't, he literally asked like, you know, don't even reply. Uh, his name's James. Hey, Greg, please pass love and condolences on to Mike from myself and my family in the UK. Please pass love and condolences on to Mike from myself and my family in the UK

Your podcast together last week was extremely touching and poignant and I'd like to let Mike know That he's loved by many folks who have never met him and likely never will but the love is still there I know that you like to reply to all correspondence you receive but it's not necessary on this occasion Just please pass my regards to Mike and his family. Huge love and respect to Mike and your wonderful self. Two gentlemen in this wonky old world. Nice. That's beautiful. Yeah, that's really nice.

No, it's like, it's funny. We do this podcast and we're just talking to each other and we forget that, you know, people's like, it's funny. We do this podcast and we're just talking to each other and we forget that people are very, they become very like, you know, there's an intimacy and I think it really affects them. I think things like your mom dying really from the amount of emails and stuff, it was very sweet.

And then there was one other one just right, you sent it to me and it was from this and it's anonymous. There is not much to say from us, your devoted fans at our distance, just as long as Mike knows we are here in communion. One of many. That's like a little haiku. Yeah.

Yeah, that's nice. No, both were touching. My mom liked both. I read them to her and she still has it, that sense of humor and she appreciates well-written, poignant emails. Yeah, she is amazing like that. I feel like she came back stronger in a way.

I think so. I mean, she's, oh yeah, she's, I don't see her today. I think she's at the Olympics. I think she's also a lot younger now yeah, she's, I don't see her today. I think she's at the Olympics. I think she's, she's also a lot younger now. So she's. So she saw the light, she took in the light, and then she brought some light back with her. Yeah.

That's exactly right. She's amazing. Yeah. What a gal. But thank you everyone. It's, you know, listen, I read, I hesitate to single anyone out, but those two, Greg wrote,

and there was so many comments on your post, Greg. And so anyway, just thank you so much. It does mean a lot. And it's really just a nice, the nicest thing about this podcast, quite honestly, is this community. Yep, absolutely. Do you want to acknowledge anything with me?

My personal life? Well, again, did you get my card? Happy 25th. That is so sweet. Wait, which address did you send it to? Oh, you're no longer on 26th Street? No, 26th Street was the first year we lived in LA, which was 24 years ago.

Football Sundays with the Bagels for all the ex-pats from the East Coast. Those were good times. I gotta bring that back. Maybe we're gonna bring that back this fall. Football Sundays with the waffle. We had two waffle makers who were just cranking them out. Bacon. We'd buy like three pounds of bacon.

Bake it. Bake the bacon. That's the key. Right. Well, you know, you timed it right. This is what you did. You were all like single and then on this new adventure in Los Angeles from the East Coast. And then you're like, it kind of faded out and you're like, all right, everyone go have kids for 18 years.

And we're gonna, we're gonna fire it back up. Yeah. So we can all make it. We don't have to be at like baseball games and stuff like that, club soccer. Do you know my son moved out yesterday? No. He got his own apartment,

him and his buddy named Owen also. I did hear about the apartment, the plan. I didn't know it was this soon. Yep, it happened and I had a moment last night. He goes out like almost every night and so we always leave the porch light on and then we go to bed. And last night I went out and the porch light was on and there was a very poignant Act 3

sitcom moment where I turned off the light and I got very sad. It's like the end of Cheers when he shut it down. Oh he did. Okay. Yeah he reached in. Speaking of season finales, are you sure you haven't remembered the last Newhart that we talked about last week?

No, no. Good Lord. By the way, you do. You just don't realize it. Yeah. Watching the bear right now, I gotta tell you, I watch television to relax. I've had a stressful day.

You watched The Bear and it is, are you watching it? No, but I watched, you know, season one, I don't think it was good. And then season two, by all accounts is way better. I guess the cousin or whatever, you know, the guy, he gets fully fleshed out his character instead of being just a one dimensional a-hole. So, and then I watched the one,

so I haven't gotten to the real pressure cooker one yet that everyone talks about. The Christmas episode, yeah. Yeah, but I did see where the black guy like went to Amsterdam to learn pastry. And then the young girl. Was it Denmark? Yeah.

And then, yeah, they have canals there too, because he was living on a boat on the canal. So anyway, then the, and then the young girl was like taking a tour of Chicago, like all the restaurants and learning and it was just beautiful. It reminded me a lot of Atlanta when they can make this just beautiful episode that's very filmic.

Yeah, it was a lot like Atlanta. And you're gonna love episode one of the new season. There's almost no dialogue. It's just a cinematic smorgasbord of food preparations and stuff. It's pretty incredible. It keeps you. There's almost no story.

It's just like flashbacks of old stories and then you're kind of trying to figure out what timeframe it is. Anyway, we should do this in entertainment. But no, my 25th anniversary, well, me and the wife went back east for two weeks. We probably talked about that. We swam a lot in lakes and rivers and streams

and ponds and pools. And then for the 25th, we had, the kids made us dinner, which we asked them to do. And then we watched the Marx Brothers movie, because that's what we've done as a family since they were little kids. And we watched Without Feathers. I gotta tell you something,

I never am let down when I watch a Marx Brothers movie. And I'm talking, I've seen Duck Soup, Night at the Opera, probably 15, 20 times. So fucking well done. And so much of it is a single camera like you know slapstick falling down jumping across the couch, the dialogue, the timing, the facial expression and then playing an instrument all in one fucking shot. It's incredible. Yeah. There's a lot of those examples of old school Hollywood, like singing in the rain where

O'Connor, right? He is doing make him laugh where he extraordinary tap dancing and dancing and then he's jumping off the wall and doing flips and it was just a wide shot. Yeah. And it was basically like, here comes talent. Yeah. Like just sit back and watch. No need to set up many cameras. You're not going to believe what you're going to see. And now you got Jonah Hill doing 27 takes of a dry one liner that some fucking hack, some fat hat, eating sushi in a writer's room wrote nine months before. And then they had punch up doctors come in and work on. And he's got an acting coach and a therapist. Kind of related.

I watched, so I've heard the new Deadpool is kind of funny. I told you, I've never seen Deadpool one. Dude, let's go see it. Oh, you didn't see the first one? No, but I saw the second one because someone told me how funny it was and boy did it deliver. But we were watching a little of it last night and occasionally he'll be like, wait a minute. And I'm forgetting the exact, and I should remember,

I'm forgetting the exact thing, but it's like, wait a minute, you're saying that I have to do this by this time, otherwise this. And the guy's like, yeah. He's like, and then he turns the camera and just goes, that's lazy writing. And the guy's like, yeah, he's like, and then he turns the camera and just goes, that's lazy writing. And he did that twice. That's great.

That's awesome. Yeah, let's go see Deadpool 3 when you get back. Dave Fitzgibbon wants to go see it. Yeah, I mean, I hear it's very funny. So it's not streaming? I assumed it was streaming. Even if it is, let's go see it in IMAX. Well, you're gonna have to wait or do it without me

because, okay, today's Sunday. You wanna know where I am right now? Because we're taping this on Friday. But Sunday, right as people are listening to these words, I am probably halfway to Arches National Park in a car with Sophie driving a car that will not make it to Michigan. I'm driving that car with her back to school. What car?

The 2007 Highlander with 137,000 miles on it. Oh, that's no problem. We have the same car. Okay, but it's been abused. Remember when Olivia drove with the engine light on for a long time? Oh, right. Because she was wondering why it was on

because the temperature, it wasn't that cold out. So that guy goes, I can't believe your car didn't blow, like seize or blow up because there's no oil in it. Yeah. So that happened. So we'll see. All right, so right now you're in Nashville and then you fly back to LA

and immediately get in a car and start driving? Yeah, I land tomorrow, Saturday night at 5.30 in LA and then 5 a.m. we're hitting the road. No. Yeah. Okay, and then how many days driving? We're spending three nights, so four days. Okay. And then how many days driving? We're spending three nights, so four days. Okay.

Which is reasonable. Very reasonable. It's about a 600 mile average, I'd say. I think between five and six. That's about eight hours a day. No, that's, no. You think so, but I mean, there's stops and every stop absolutely destroys your average.

Yes. I'm not going to, I'm not going to take this car much over 75 miles and it's, it's not great. I just put a new type, whatever boring stuff, but the car's ready. Just put new tires on it. Got it. And then, so then you fly back on what Thursday or Friday? No, she I'm helping her move when we once we get there. Jesus. Yeah, then I'll fly back to Nashville on the way back to LA.

It's a journey. It's a journey. Well, it was nice knowing you, Mike. Yeah. Oh, and we have to take the northernmost route, but what we're trying to, because it's so goddamn hot in this country. Yeah. Everyone in Nashville's over it. It's really hot here. Can I tell you about my, you know, I hurt my shoulder seven or eight years ago. I didn't hurt it.

It just stopped working. No, you told me this, yeah. So I can't lift it to the side. I haven't been able to for about six or seven years, but I just never dealt with it. I just kept putting it off. So I finally it to the side. I haven't been able to for about six or seven years, but I just never dealt with it. I just kept putting it off. So I finally went to the doctor. I had a checkup and then he goes,

all right, let's keep an eye on that shoulder for a little while. He gave me a shot and then a month later it was bad. So I had to go back to him. And then he refers me to this specialist. I see the specialist, he sends me for an MRI and then he fucking calls me back. Then I got to do a follow-up at his office yesterday. So I got to drive from Venice to Santa Monica. It takes me a half an hour. I get and I got to pay fucking 15 bucks for parking.

I sit in his office for a half an hour and wait for him. I sit in the office. He comes in and he goes, yeah, it's the calcium deposits like we thought that shows up on the MRI, so I'm gonna send you to this guy. He's gonna poke it with a needle and then we're gonna hope it just dissipates. Any questions? And I go, yeah, couldn't this have been done on the phone? And he looked like a deer in the headlights.

He just, he had some intern following him around, like some medical student who was following him around for the summer. And they both just froze. Like it was just so obvious that he, and I said to him, I go, I drove here, I paid for parking. I go, this is going to be a $200 appointment. I said, this was just unnecessary. And he's like, oh,

yeah, I'm sorry. It's just, this is what works best for me. And I go, well, it doesn't work best for your patients. I said, I think you guys should think about that. And he told you the same, so I don't know. No, he should be into that like he would charge the same. Yeah, he even I even said, is there a charge for phone call and he said yeah, I go I don't mind paying that. Was it Santa Monica orthopedic group? I was on Wilshire and 28th. Oh, okay. Yeah.

But they all have that, the person following them around. My guy, when I broke my shoulder, anyway, he, I would then see him leave. Like then when I left, I saw him in the hall and then he's dictating into a little recorder and he just says everything that he just told me and gives you update. And then that's, then that's typed typed up you know. Right, right. Anyway so let's get to it. The logo this week comes from Nick

Smith who we know a Nick Smith. We're friends with a Nick Smith but this is a different one. You sure are. It's fucking good. You like that logo? That's really nice. I could almost see that on a piece of merch. By the way, I'm not saying that this guy used AI because I mean... Oh, fuck, I just realized I didn't put my headset in this whole time. All right, so it'll be interesting audio on your side. Oh, fuck me. Luckily, you did most of the talking. So Jesus Christ. Have you have you dabbled in the AI yet? Just very, very little. So I welcome to the podcast, Craig, your voice sounds very different. Oh, my God. So anyway, I'm going to kill us. Mid Coast Media is going to fucking kill us. It sounds different to me.

That's because the zoom, but our age sixes are going to sound the same. So anyway, what did I ask KI the other day? I go, Oh, we came up with a funny idea and I for an award show, like a very, very specific, highly unusual type of award. So I said to the image or it can use images or drawing. I said, can you make me this award? You know, picturing of and I described the type of person that would be on the award like an Oscar and, and the word name would be this boom Boom, there was five of them.

And they were really funny and great. Wow. Yeah. No, dude, I was on the golf course today with our buddy Tommy Loman, who's a big cinematographer. And he's like, oh yeah, he's like, oh yeah, editors, gone. He goes, they can take an entire TV show, run it through the computer for five minutes

and the entire episode based on it watching how other episodes were edited, does it? And then instead of five editors, they bring in one just to make little tweaks at the end. Oh, and also what you could do is you could give it the script because, you know, as you know, as we write, it's like like especially like for a joke it's like who would have taken my cookie whatever whatever reveal and so like it's it's telling you how to edit it right cut to the script exterior living

room right right it's all there close on the door as he enters you you know, all that stuff. Yeah, camera pans to the right as we see. Oh my God. I mean, it's crazy. What the fuck are kids gonna do for a living? It's nuts. And also editing, you know, there's all these settings and you could tell it, here we go. I've ingested like four cameras, blah, blah, blah.

And give me a cut where you just cut to the person who's talking. And so, do you know how much work that, because obviously you're gonna layer it and finesse it better, which by the way, it can do also, but like that's done in one, like in two seconds that's done. Yep.

Yeah, I know. It's crazy, they're even talking about, I heard Mark Cuban on the air yesterday on NPR, and they were talking about the medical industry and that so much of diagnosis and all that stuff is all gonna be done by computers, and they're gonna have a much better, because think about it,

your doctor is supposed to read medical journals every single week for every update that's happening. AI knows all of that shit. They don't miss anything. Did you see the post that went around this week, which was a, it was a giant study that they did on early detection of breast cancer. And they had a picture and there was like a tiny dot.

So the example that they had a picture and there was like a tiny dot. So the example that they were using in the photo was this was pre-cancerous and very early. And then it was staggering the accuracy rate because they did like a controlled study, a blind, there was a blind element to it. And, and the thing, and it was exhaustive also, so many patients and then they tracked them. So it was like maybe like a two year study or something. And it was incredible at detecting like, it's going to come down to this. As long as you go to the doctor and the doctor includes AI. Um, I think breast cancer is going to be dealt with on just the most like stage one and earlier

from now on. Yeah, right, right. Which will save so many lives. Yeah, so many breasts. It's going to save a lot of breasts. The song this week is from Emmett Hall that we just listened to and we both got a kick out of. Yep, thank you Emmett and thank you Nick Smith for the drawing. It's kind of funky, it's got a little bit, it sounds like Emmett had fun making it, which is what we love the most in these songs. A few corrections, we have our friend Bob, who writes in a lot and he wrote the wrote, the phrases for doors are open the doors or open doors for your career or new opportunities. There is no phrase broke down doors

for your dad or Howard Stern. Firemen will break the door down to enter a dwelling. You can break the glass ceiling if you're a woman, but I guess you don't break down doors. Huh. So if you're black, so that's racist. They're saying if you're black, then you can break down the door,

but if you're white, you just open the door. Yeah. Or a woman. Technically, I think he's right. Yep. Then we got also chat GPT is spelled with a P. It is not chat GBT, Greg. Jesus. I think you do say chat GBT, but I think it's a lazy P. That's all I think that is.

Imagine learning this language as somebody who's not a native speaker. No. I mean it, buh, puh, buh, puh. Are you fucking kidding me? It's so dumb. Hey Greg, if I ever had to be hit by a right hand, I definitely want to be hit by an overhead right. I believe that would be a clean miss.

I think you meant to say over overhead right. I believe that would be a clean miss. I think you meant to say overhand right. It makes me snicker John Favreau, who writes in a lot. I think he's Canadian. Yeah, I guess it's overhand right, not overhead right. And then Daniel Preston said on the last episode, Mike said cocaine bear was a real thing. He's half correct. The plane did drop a large quantity of cocaine in the forest. A bear did ingest it.

However, the bear soon died of a cocaine overdose instead of going on a killing rampage as shown in the movie. Of course. Yeah, I meant a bear ingested a ton of cocaine. Right. Like supposedly these sharks did. Well, there was a moment where the bear was coked up

before he died and it was the best time he ever had in his life. He cleaned the garage, he wrote two screenplays, he called friends he hadn't been in touch with for a while. He got laid with multiple bears and a squirrel. Bob Pedersen, again, this is Bob. There is one letter A in pent and tri races. It is not pentathlon.

It is not triathlon. It is triathlon and pentathlon. it is triathlon and pentathlon. Okay. What did you say? I said triathalon and it's triathlon. Again, learn this language. Penta-thalon. Learn this language and be told pentathlon, pentathlon.

Are you? Well, you're foreign. So yeah, this is your second language, I think. Your first language was some sort of Tarrytown. I'm gonna turn this AC down, cause it's also loud. Oh, look at you. You keep going.

I'll do my tour dates. Tour dates. If I haven't already announced it, it's official. August 27th is when the new one hour special, it's called You Know Me, it's coming out on YouTube so everybody can see it, stream it for free. I'll be on the Joe Rogan Experience on, I think on that day announcing it.

I'm doing a bunch of podcasts. Rogan's, Cigura, Bert Kre Kreischer, Mark Marin, we might be drunk, the Samaral one, and I'm doing everybody's. And you're going to get sick of hearing me talk about the special, but I watched the final cut yesterday with the color correction. I am very proud. I think that this really represents what I've been doing for the last, I haven't done a special in like seven

or eight years and this is all the best material from that time and I feel really good about it. You sent me a link, I can't wait to, I'm sure it's similar, is it pretty similar to the one that I gave notes on? No wait, I'm gonna send you a newer link. Oh okay, do, do, cause I'll watch it on the plane tomorrow. Okay great.

Brayett, I did Brayett, ohville Comedy Club, August 23rd and 24th. Denver Comedy Works, August 29th through 31st. Austin at the Mothership, September 6th through 8th. Alaska in Fairbanks, September 25th through the 28th. Tulsa, Tacoma, San Francisco all coming up in the fall. And this podcast is brought to you by the fine folks at Game Time. Love Game Time, go ahead. Well, you know, you can go through apps,

you pick out concerts, and when I say concerts, theater experiences, stand-up comedy, music, sports, everything. And the app is such a piece of cake. It's really intuitive. It's a couple of taps. You got your tickets. There's no downloading.

There's no printing. There's no bullshit. You get right through and you're getting the best deal. Last minute tickets, flash deals. Major League Baseball right now, we're going real cheap when you go through game time. You can take a look at the seats in the venue, you can see the view from your seats. There's a low price guarantee. Are you kidding me? Hi Greg, tonight do you want to see, because

I have a lot, even though I'm in Nashville, I have Los Angeles up right now. Yeah, what do you got tonight? How about the Stray Cats for 59 bucks? Wow. And I'm sure it's going to go down. Let's see what's in Nashville, because I love, as I tell people, I love the Discover button. Let's discover what is going on. We have PFL playoffs.

I don't even know what PFL is. 31 bucks. Robin Thicke, he still has a career get out of here what he's tonight he's tonight 84 dollars those are going down those are going down keep an eye on the Robin Thicke tickets they're gonna drop a little bit Hot Wheels Monster Truck we got Kenny Chesney and Zach Bryan oh geez that's a Nissan that's like their giant stadium yeah 30 seconds to Mars, how about that? What's fun about it is if you have a free night, you just open the app and it shows you an array of possibilities and sometimes you just see a ticket for like 14 bucks and you grab it and you go out have some fun. The best thing you can spend

money on is live entertainment and you know don't buy clothes or stuff. This is the way to do it. So anyway, take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with Game Time, download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code PAPERS for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply, again, create an account and redeem code PAPERS for $20 off. Download Game Time today.

Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. Guaranteed, yes. We had a guy, Sam Austin, write in last week. He goes, you did it again. You and Mike talking about Game Time got me to scoop up tickets and see a last minute show this week and I used my FitsDog promo code. Oh sorry, I also do it on FitsDog.

And save 20 bucks which I can use towards a ticket for the next time you come to Austin. All right Sam W. Sam and Austin, nice. And boy, does that relate to today's front page story. Oh boy. Here we go. Let me find a nice, hold on. This is nice.

Let's make it, let's make the crinkle nice. Extra, extra, we are the bodies, extra. Front Page, take it away. Millions of sports fans and concert goers are being duped by a deceptive pricing scheme at StubHub that hides the true cost of tickets until the very last moment, according to a lawsuit filed Wednesday by DC attorney Brian Schwalb. The lawsuit accuses StubHub of deploying pricing tactics that trick consumers into overpaying for tickets that are designed to boost profits. It's a classic bait and switch scheme, it

says. Dip pricing, where only part of the product's price is advertised initially. They say they have this countdown clock, creates a false sense of urgency. So anyway, they're in a lot of trouble. Don't go to- Try StubHub today. All the tickets and inflated hidden prices guaranteed. Guaranteed. But that's why, you know, listen,

I know Game Time is a sponsor of the podcast, but like that is the thing I was genuinely saying I like most. Like I would constant constant every week I referred to other ticket sellers and this is one I was referring to where you have to guesstimate if it's going to be double or like 80% more or it was, it was, I hated it and it was worse than guesswork. It was like inaccurate. They'd sucker you in. They would create that urgency.

And meanwhile, you're going to StubHub. Well, right, you're going to StubHub to hopefully seek shelter from the predatory ways of Ticketmaster, you know what I mean? Right, right. Hopefully you found a place where you can just have an honest transaction. Nope.

14 people were arrested and 10 victims were rescued in a human sex trafficking sting at San Diego Comic Con convention. Yeah, I always heard there was a lot of traffic in San Diego during the San Diego Comic Con. Yeah. The task force conducted a three day operation ahead of the weekend busts

and that they rescued a 16 year old girl. Unfortunately, sex traffickers capitalize on large scale events such as Comic-Con to exploit their victims for profit. So I guess basically they have girls that they have trafficked and now they are pimping them out at this convention. And it was pretty obvious

who the underage traffic girls were. One had a lightsaber shaped like a cock and she was named Princess Lay. I mean, it was pretty obvious. There was a young guy with his shirt open to his navel and his name was Luke's Thighwalker. I mean, who doesn't see that? As well.

It's Comic Con. Are we sure this wasn't sexless trafficking? That's the traffic sex worker. And also, the word sex workers were like, of all offence to take away from us. These nerds are done before we even start. It's the easiest money. They don't even get to penetration. No, they just want to grab somebody's tit. They're at Comic Con. They just some pink bubble creature that has eight tits. Donald Trump says Kamala Harris opted to turn black.

All right. So hold on. I put this story in there. This was my favorite. And this is why I put it in there. I like to remember the in-laws. So the in-laws, Peter Falk goes down and they're going to meet the leader of another country. And he's like, listen, he has a scar on his cheek.

Don't bring it up. Don't bring up the scar on his cheek. Just ignore it. He's self-conscious about it. Let's go. He's like, I got it. I got it. So the guy comes out, he's like, gentlemen, how are you? And Al Harkin goes, a Z? Because the scar looks like a Z. It's the first words I've ever heard. So that reminded me of this. I like to think of this story as if Trump's advisors met with him and go, listen, we've got to try to avoid this race issue. Don't say the word black, OK?

Just try to avoid the word black in this interview. So here is Trump. Quote, she was always of Indian heritage, and she was only promoting Indian heritage. I didn't know she was black until a number of years ago when she happened to turn black. And now she wants to be known as black. So I don't know, is she Indian or is she black?

Oh my God. And the way he, did you hear the way he said black? Yeah. It was denigrating. He said black as if it was like vomit. Like she wants to be black. It was really, and this was in front of the black, it was a convention of black reporters basically.

Oh, it was the black woman interviewing them and then it was a panel. Yeah, of course. It's the African American, I guess it was a media event I think. Yeah, yeah. That was crazy. He lost a lot of votes on that one.

Yeah. So, and by the way, when is she black? You know when someone's officially black? When their application for an apartment in your father's apartment building is turned down. Yeah. When they're not allowed to join one of your country clubs. That's when they're, that's when they turn black.

Exactly. Now, I think I saved this in Instagram. When they're not allowed to join one of your country clubs. That's when they turn black. Exactly. Now, I think I saved this in Instagram. I don't know if this is real or not. It's amazing if it's real, but it doesn't matter. It's just fun, really funny if it's not. But Simone Biles. Yeah.

Oh, it is real. It is real. And she said something about, she referenced a black job. Well, yeah, Trump basically said immigrants are taking the black jobs and then a reporter goes, what's a black job? And he goes, and then he didn't know what to say. He was just like, well, anyone who's black, who's working a job, it was gibberish. And so she tweeted, so happy to have my black job or something. Is that what it was?

It was something like that. I don't know, I don't see it on her thing. Maybe it's in her stories. Oh no, I love my black job. That's what it was. That's fantastic. Yeah, yeah. Did you see, I'm looking up her in her account now

anyway she's a mate yeah amazing um do you know how tall she is four foot eight what that's insane I mean what's considered a little person what's the cutoff you mean technically what's a little? I mean I don't know if there's a cutoff. Of course there's a cutoff. Well I do know driving becomes a concern at a certain height. Yeah. So you look that up.

Do you want me to start on the next story? Four foot ten. So she's a little person. Is she? There is something once I when I I found out I guess I shouldn't say that because I never really like I was shocked she was four eight which means she didn't look for eight to me. Once I found out she was four eight, she does look like her head looks kind of big, like, like with a little person. I'm just digging myself a hole here. But I think maybe it's because I found out she was four foot eight. So now I'm looking at her that way. Well, she's four foot

eight and she's dating this huge football player. Did you know that? No. Yeah, she's dating a big football player. Is she dating? I think I just saw wedding photos on her. Yeah, maybe they're married. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I can't imagine what that sex is like. He could literally, he could be having sex with her, make out with her and suck his own dick there wow that's them getting married yeah quite a height quite a height difference yeah yeah mr and mrs owens wow well she seems like an amazing woman we're all very proud of her oh my god are you kidding me yeah i mean that it was so dramatic that finished to the women's all around last night was very dramatic and she I mean all of her levels of difficulty were so much higher

than the other women's. Can we stop saying women's gymnastics? It's like I'm watching it. Cuz even the men are women. Yeah. I'm watching it and I'm thinking, all right, this guy's skimpy outfit on, they're thick, they get nice and elastic and you start getting into it and then the announcer's like, and also Christie is 14 years old from Iowa and you're just like, you expect Chris Hansen to jump out of the closet like, what are you watching? I have to find a better way to ingest or experience this Olympics. Like, I'm a little out of touch with it and it's a good one. It's a good Olympics.

It's a great Olympics. Yeah. Except for that pool. The pool is slow. Did you hear about that? Yeah. And they're not getting the world records, but you know, they're all swimming in the same pool.

So I think that's fine. No, but they say, the thing I read was that the pool is only, I forget the depth, but something like three and a half feet. And they, it's a slightly shallower. It is. Hey, beautiful. Greg says hi. It's a slightly shallower. It is. Hey, beautiful. Greg says hi.

It's a slightly shallower pool, which causes there to be more waves. So on the second lap, they're swimming into waves more than they would be in a deeper pool. Right, and the camera is underneath the water also. Hey, did you hear the swimming event? I think we talked about this last week. They announced all the venues for the 28 Olympics

and the swimming is gonna be in SoFi. No kidding. A 70 plus thousand seat football stadium. That's where the swimming is gonna be. They're gonna build a pool for the Olympics? That's what they did. This pool you're talking about, the shallow pool, they built that like, you know, a month ago there. And that's, I think, one of the reasons it's shallow. Well, we'll get to that. We'll get to swimming later in sports.

Let's stay with front page. After spending almost two decades in the US military prison at Guantanamo Bay, the alleged mastermind of the 9-11 terror attacks Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and his two accomplices have agreed to plead guilty in exchange for sentences of up to life in prison. Isn't it pretty close to life in prison already? It's been 21 years. Rather than face a death penalty trial. So it's been 20 years, family members of the nearly 3,000 people who died on September 11th

want them put to death, but as the trial becomes increasingly unlikely, plea bargains were widely viewed as the only way to resolve the case. Look, there's no trial because the CIA doesn't want the, if they have a trial Then the defense attorneys get to ask the government how the prisoners were treated and what specifically? Was done to them and the CIA will not allow that to happen. That's why there's no death penalty

Maybe they're they're seeking to get this resolved real fast because if Trump became president, I don't think he would give a shit. Won't he be able to do whatever the hell he wants to do almost? Oh, he would fly. And be like, yeah, yeah, we tortured you. You killed 3,000 people on 9-11. Now Trump would fly planes into their prison cell.

Well, I'm thinking how selfish of these three dudes keeping these 72 virgins waiting. And also, it's not as sexy when it's 72 old maids who have never been touched. Like they're waiting this whole time, aren't they supposed to be like teenagers? Yeah, I think these virgins are gonna be a little cranky after all these years. Surrounded by cats and crochet.

Yeah. Like, here's your reward. All right. Let's get to entertainment, even though we already talked about a lot of entertainment earlier. Jimmy Kimmel is he endorsed an ABC fan favorite to host the 2025 Oscars. And that person is Anthony Anderson. He may host the Oscars following Kimmel's decision to step down. Network bosses consider Anderson, who started ABC's hit show Black-ish, a solid bet to host the biggest night in Hollywood. Because he, I guess people really liked when he hosted the Grammys, I think?

No, I think it was the Emmys. I thought it was not my cup of tea. He was awful. He was awful. He bombed. And that's how Hollywood works. They just decide you're the guy. I mean, look at fucking Jim Belushi.

How many sitcoms did that unfunny, what's Kimmel's joke about who died made Jim Belushi famous? That's not Kimmel. No, that's what Andy Kindler said. Oh, Kindler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. No, and also I think there's some questions about a sexual something with Anthony. I don't want to say what, because I don't know the story. No, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. I know how to bring this up. Hold on one second. Uh, okay. So we don't have to talk about anything.

If one were to go to Anthony Anderson's Wikipedia page, you would read, I guess, allegations, um, rooted in the word allegedly, um, against him. And I'm really surprised that Hollywood is able to, uh, you know, make this work knowing that that's out there. Cause I've come, I've come up against it. Anthony Anderson was a guest on one of the shows that I worked on on Netflix and it was an issue with other talent.

I'll just say that. Oh, I remember that. Yup. Yeah. It famously backfired for that person who was refusing to be in a show with him. But we, uh, I don't think we can talk about that. But anyway, Anthony Anderson is not, um, you know, the perfect candidate, let's say,. If he was vetted for office or something, it wouldn't go very far.

Right. It's interesting. Wow. Well, I don't know how Hollywood works. Who knows? All right, new segment. Let's go to Philly. New segment.

Let's go to Philly. I don't know if it'll last more than a week, but let's make America Philadelphia. You send me this story. A Philadelphia area man was sentenced Wednesday to seven and a half years in prison for his role in a string of explosions that hit cash machines in the city starting in 2020, netting him and two accomplices more than $400,000. The indictment charged, Kishmir McBride, what a name. That's a good name.

That should be a golfer, Kishmir McBride, 25 of Yeeden and two others with damaging six of the cash machines hit during a wave that saw thieves blow up about 50 ATMs. More like cashmere. His lawyer said, quote, it's a tragic case. He was really trying to get money to help support his family and he regrets deeply what happened. So there it is. That's the best a lawyer in Philadelphia can do.

Yeah, he wanted the money. Yeah, Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there's extenuating circumstances. He needed money. He was low on money. How much are you an hour? I could have said that. That's called pleading guilty. And I guess they caught on because his mom tried to buy a corvette with a wad of singed money. There was smoke coming off it. Yeah. The money was really burning a hole in his pocket. That's what he said on the stand.

That's his lawyer again. Let's go to Florida. Now we're going to make America Florida. Okay. Florida man leads deputies on a chase. Okay. No big deal. That happens everywhere. Yep. Troyson Raymond, 35, is now facing several charges, including grand theft auto.

After the incident that came to a slow halt in front of a Dunkin Donuts on US 98 in Lakeland, deputies pursued Troy as he attempted his getaway on a stolen electric Walmart scooter. The chase hit speeds of about two miles an hour on the scooter before deputies caught up to him. Yeah, he got pulled over by deputy Droopy Dog. Remember that guy? I love Droopy Dog. Droopy Dog, slowest cop ever. If he had just gotten to the Florida Turnpike,

he would have blended right in. Nobody would have noticed. I'm wondering if two miles an hour has its own challenges. You know what I mean? Like it's probably, they've never trained for two mile an hour police chase. Yeah. I think the average walking speed is three miles an hour.

I'm pretty sure that's right. Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, when I walk on the treadmill, I walk three and a half miles an hour, and that's a brisk walk. Yeah, 20 minutes a mile. Yeah, when you're hiking, depending on how steep, it's about, yeah, it's about 20 minutes a mile.

Yeah, all right. All right, so they could have maybe pursued in foot. I don, yeah, it's about 20 minutes a mile. Yeah. All right. All right, so they could have maybe pursued in foot. I don't know. Let's make Texas Florida. It would have been so funny if the local news had gotten aerial shots of it and broke into regular programming. Like the OJ chase? Yeah.

Here he is in his white golf cart and his white Walmart scooter. Let's make Texas, Florida. All right, a Texas man accidentally roofied after drinking his wife's drink. Okay, things took a turn for the worst when Melissa noticed a man acting oddly. I had my drink here right in front of me. She said, after stirring and drinking from it she set it down a random man then approached her sat next to her and said hi he told me it looks like you're stuck with me tonight i was like whatever it kind of was it was creepy initially melissa thought it was just

a strange encounter and was ready to leave not wanting wanting to waste the drink, Daniel, her husband, picked up the cup and took a large gulp before leaving. Something I would totally do. Yeah, of course. As they walked out of the bar, Daniel began acting strange. By the time they got home, Daniel was severely impaired. He began crawling on the floor, cursing and acting violently. Melissa had to text her daughters and ask for help bringing in their father. We thought he had just been very drunk, the daughter said. The next day, Daniel took an over the counter drug test, which revealed a massive variety of substances he had never used.

That's when the family concluded that Daniel was roofied. It wasn't even for me, Daniel said. He wanted to hurt my wife, and that's even more infuriating. Wow. Yep. That drug does not sound like it leaves you in a condition that you would make love with. You know, violently cursing on the ground?

Well, he's not the one. Oh, you mean that for the guy, if the guy, Rufy, the husband? Yeah. It didn't really, maybe that's your thing. You didn't really put him in the mood. Yeah, yeah, it could be it.

What probably happened is, this is my guess, the wife told him in the club, they got into an argument, she goes, when we get home, I want to have a talk. And so he drugged himself. The daughters then had to come, so he had witnesses and he got out of that talk. That's a good out. That's a good out.

They left out the part where the guy fucked him in the bathroom. He didn't tell police about the sore ass. By the way, why is it called a roofie? Shouldn't it be called a bathroomy? I fucked him in the bathroom. He didn't tell police about the sore ass. By the way, why is it called a roofie? Shouldn't it be called a bathroomie? Who's taking people to the roof? That's up a flight of stairs while they can barely walk. Well, you've seen my joke.

I think I did it in standup that like I asked, I'm like, do you guys think this is creepy? I roofie women after sex. Like, I think Cosby had it all wrong. You want them awake for sex. It's the chit chatty part. You want them to go to sleep. Then I can watch whatever I want.

I could even go out. Leave them be. Tuck them in, tuck them in. Make them comfortable. Yeah, it should be like the Matrix. You keep them drugged up, except for the six minutes of the day that you wanna have sex.

And then they're like, all right, listen, the last thing I remember was a blissful sexual encounter with you, but I don't remember talking to you about how your mom annoys me and how your family is just, you have no boundaries with them I'm like oh no we did we talked we were up really late talking about that

we got it all settled yeah you told me the details your zoom call with your co-workers and how that's a little creepy that's perfect let's do some sports here sports I love this story That's perfect. Let's do some sports. Here's sports. I love this story. Okay. An Italian boxer quits the bout in the Olympics, sparking fear over gender during the games. An Italian boxer abandoned her bout at the Paris Olympics after only 46 seconds on Thursday,

refusing to continue after taking a heavy punch from an Algerian opponent who had been disqualified from last year's World Championships over questions about her eligibility to compete in women's sports. These athletes are considered legally female or intersex and have X and Y chromosomes, the typical male pattern. Testes or ambiguous genitalia, natural testosterone levels in the male range, and they respond to testosterone in ways typical to men. So I guess that means

they constantly masturbate to avoid hard work and responsibility. Yeah. How did they make it to the Olympics? That's how testosterone has its effect on me. So I don't know. But get this, the Italian boxer, this is a quote, a real one. The Italian boxer who quit said after the fight, I have never felt a punch like this. And I was like, ah, you're probably forgetting about your Italian boyfriend? Because where I grew up in Eastchester, maybe it's just Italian Americans, where I grew up

in Eastchester, New York, they got a little handsy. They got a little handsy. It was old school. Yeah, they should have sent this girl to the Jersey Shore for a summer. And I think she would have gotten a little bit tougher. And by the way, I just love that guys complain about this stuff.

Like, you know, there's so many podcasts where people are going to rant and rave about how unfair it is to these women. These are the same guys that do nothing but make WNBA jokes, shit on how bad women's sports is, and now all of a sudden they got to defend them. Pick a side. Yeah, we've clearly picked a side.

We have, yes. Yes. And look, I think if she's fighting a woman that doesn't have any testes, she should be able to hit below the belt, right? It's only fair. Yeah, I think you're right. But I mean, I think that's like, you know, some of them defending it are like, it's,

you know, they're not, they have nowhere to go. Like in other words, they also get the crap beat out of them if they go in men's boxing. But I can relate. Like it's not that I can relate, but having, you know, watched boxing, I think a lot of guys felt that about stepping in the ring with Tyson, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. My bad. That is a different, that is a different type of human being over there.

Right, right, right. And that's what she did. I mean, trans sports, if it's really fair, and they're claiming that it's fair, how come you don't see any people that were born as a woman going into men's sports after transitioning? I mean, if it's created an even playing field, why don't you see that?

I mean, I think they're gonna make arguments about when they test how the testosterone levels and all the drugs they've taken to tamp down all the male qualities and all the biology, the male biology. So, and I don't think the reverse works quite as well. Okay, interesting. You can't ramp up.

It's also, let's face it, and that's one of the things that actually speaks to your point. There's also like the structure of the body, the density of the bones, the density of the muscles that's already there before they've altered their biology. There's also the fact that, you know, as it turns to being socialized, boys grow up wrestling and play fighting and slap fighting, and girls, that's just not as acceptable. There's not a lot of girls that are going to fight with her growing up. Play fight. Right. Anyway, one more Olympic

story. An Olympic triathlete shared her disgusting experience of swimming in the Seine as she blasted the officials who claimed the polluted river was safe enough to swim in. Jolyenne Vermeulen, representing Belgium at this year's game, said she felt debris in the water during her swim and in the triathlon she said going under the bridge I felt and saw things that we shouldn't think about too much she told Flemish Flemish TV we know tomorrow if I'm sick or not it doesn't it doesn't taste like Coca-Cola or Sprite, of course. By the way, New York Post headline, Olympic swimmers are insane.

Okay, before all the corrections come, they say it's sen? Nope, sane. It's the same. It doesn't work when you say in sen in the membrane. I don't think it's the same. It doesn't work when you say in-sen in the membrane. I don't think it's the same. Yeah. Now, I took French for four years in high school and two years in college, and I can

tell you point of fact, it's sane. Huh. Very interesting. Okay. I think in 2028, forget the SoCal Stadium, have them swim in the LA River. Have you seen the LA River lately? 11 months a year. Converse and tires floating in the water with homeless apparel. Let them swim in there. Or during, and it's the summer games. I don't know if you've seen the movie Greece, they shot in the LA river during summer. And that's where they did their drag race. Yeah. That was fall. It was fall

because summer lovin' was the song about how they just spent the summer and now they're back in school. It was September, you're right. It was early September. But I think actually they did this and then the swimmers protested about it and the French surrendered. All right, we have a lot of stories. Come on, that was a good joke. I didn't hear it. Go ahead, say it again. I said the swimmers protested and then the French surrendered and started having a different venue. Yeah, there you go. I like that a lot. All right, we have a lot of stories in here, but I know we also have-

All right, let's get down to- The contest. Let's get down to- This day in history? Well, I wanted to maybe do, I wanna do this because it's something that's going on in your life. A new review, let is science, science.

Science time. Science. Blended me. A new review conducted by Australian researchers suggests that having a beloved cat as a pet might potentially double a person's risk of developing schizophrenia related disorders. This revelation has ignited discussions and concerns about the enigmatic relationship between feline companions and mental health.

A hypothesis first proposed in 1995, exposure to the parasite Toxoplasma gondii, commonly found in cats, could be a potential trigger for schizophrenia. Or maybe it's being exposed to the cat's personality. One minute you have to be intimate and affectionate, the next you have to accept being completely shut out, then you have to be aware of an attack while you're sleeping.

That might make you a little schizo. So there's a kitten running around here, and I gotta talk this household into getting rid of this kitten. Uh, it was an impulse, not even by, it was an impulse take. And uh, they're just terrors. Just, just get it, get a cat that's already broken down a house and is over it. Um, but the door has been closed. So I thought the cow would be here.

Also the cat as all cat owners No, and I'm not one but I see it on on tik-tok. They love Laptops, it steps all over the keyboard. It's like pawing all over I was on a zoom and you know what I realized on the zoom. I'm like, oh well at least they'll think it's cute But it's a kitten. So when it walked on my keyboard, it was below the camera. So no one on the zoom saw a cat what they saw was me like, whoo, whoo, like, like making faces trying to grab it and getting scratched and be like, oh, that's hilarious.

I thought I didn't have to explain because they saw me the picking up this adorable cat. And then they and meanwhile you have a text box open that they can see that just says AST, ASTFGHKL semi colon. Completely. Yeah. All right. And this day in history. Let's do this day in history. Okay, sir, you did so well last week. I fucking rocked last week. Former President of the United States, Barack Obama was born on this day in Kenya.

In what year? He was born in Honolulu on this day. In what year? Okay. He was elected. I'm going to say give or take two years. That gives you a four year window. All right. He was president in what 2008 and let's guess that he was 48 when he was president. And so I'm going to say 2008. Was it 2008 that he was president? Yes. Yeah, 2008 and 12. So if you subtract 48 from 2008, that brings you to 1968.

I'll say 1968. I think you got it. You just did your math wrong. It's 1961. Oh, but I did the math wrong. I think it should have been 1960. Yeah. My math is said. All right. Well, I got it right. I don't know about that. Okay, let's see. I don't care about Roger Clemens and Frank. She's always in this thing. I know they love Frank. They really love and Frank. Um, we could do this one. Louie Armstrong was born on this day in New Orleans, Louisiana, give or take four years eight-year window what year was Louis Armstrong born 1895 oh I love it 1901 I love it and you gave me five years four years yeah that's a little tight that's a little tight on a different fucking century. We're doing a lot of birthdays. Marilyn Monroe was born. No, wait, what is this saying? No, she died. That's less interesting. She died on this day. Really, it was August 5th. What year do you think she died? Give or take one year?

Well, Kennedy, he she sang Happy Birthday to Kennedy that would have been in about 1964. So they had to kill her for doing that. So I'm going to say that happened in 1966. Oh, good Lord 1962. Wow. Kennedy wasn't around. Kennedy wasn't around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was he was elected in 60. Right? Yeah. Yeah. All right. I was off on that. I thought he was elected in 62. One was, uh, yeah, he did. November. He didn't. He he just missed making it to 64. November 22nd, 63. Okay, let's see. Let's find one more here. I'm over. I think I'm over. Now I'm going to give myself one on that Barack Obama, because if I had a scratch pad, I would have gotten that right. So I'm one for three.

So you needed a scratch pad. Yeah. All right. Dick Clark's American Bandstand, TV show in which performers lip synched their latest songs and the teenage audience danced, began airing nationally on this day in what year? Give or take two years, I'm giving you a four year window. 1951. Oh wow, you're not, you don't have it today, 1957. Oh Jesus.

I know, it's amazing how far and I think a lot of these have been easy. Like that's why I'm giving you little windows, but you're you're really not close. Oh, man, that the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima, but you know when that was. That was 1945? Yeah. Okay.

I'm actually watching a documentary about it right now about the Cold War. It's fucking amazing. It's a three-part series on Netflix. Let me find a juice one. There really aren't a lot of events around this. Maybe it's because everyone takes August off. The American government did.

Okay. Oliver. Okay. That's not fun. Oliver Hardy died. You wouldn't know when he died. I don't even know who that is. Oh. Laurel and Hardy. Laurel and Hardy, well, they were big in the 1940s. Here you go. We're going to end on this one. Oh, he lived long. I remember seeing him as an older man. No, no, no, no. That's Laurel. Stan Laurel lived a long time. Okay.

Hardy died in 57. Because he was fat. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So you keep talking. I got to plug my computer in. Okay.

This is for the viewer, the listeners. You ready? You're going to get a little more time than Greg. The first of the murders committed by Jack the Ripper took place in London's East End. What year? So Greg is sitting back down. He's back. Our listeners got a head start. They've been thinking about it. You're ready? Yeah. The first of the murders committed by Jack the Ripper took place in London's East End. In what year? The first murders.

And I'm going to give or take you 20 years. That's a 40 year window. Jack the Ripper was killing people in, I'll just give a round number, 1900. Yeah, I gave that one too, 1888. Okay. All right. And we're back.

Is he, he probably has his, is there a sexy documentary made about him on Netflix? Wasn't Jumping Jack Flash about Jack the Ripper? I should know that, I don't know. I was never really a big fan of that song. Really? I love the music, but yeah. All right, what are we doing?

Letters to the editor? Yeah. Where did he go? Hold on. All right, I'm back. Here we go. New section. Letters to the editor. Technologically, I just do not have my shit together today, and I apologize to the audience for that.

All right, I'll read it. You adjust. On Sunday papers, you mentioned a sport played in a gym that's not a gym. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm that. All right, I'll read it. You adjust. On Sunday papers, you mentioned a sport played in a gym

that's kind of like lacrosse. That sport is called handball. I would compare handball as a mix of soccer, basketball, and water polo, rather than comparing it to lacrosse. Handball is practically non-existent in the US, but is massively popular sport around the world, especially in Europe, Russia, and Asia.

The last time the US qualified in the Olympics for handball was in 1996 when we were the host country and had an automatic bid. And then it goes on to describe more. And he saw you at the La Jolla Comedy Store, the Sunday show on Oscar night and he loved it. That's nice to hear. Odagie, sorry this is Carol. Hey, hey now. All the best, Carol. Wow. And then PS, PS I love hearing you guys talk about golf, Carol really. Also feel free to talk a little more about playing volleyball if you want. I'll give you some volleyball lessons in exchange for a day of golf.

Okay, Carol. I like that. I like that offer. I would love to get some volleyball lessons. I mean, not lessons, but she could come play in our game one Sunday. Okay, yeah. Where's Carol say where she will? La Jolla. She went to La Jolla. Yeah, she must be around San Diego somewhere So alright Carol hit us up. We'll invite you to a volleyball game We plan some days around we haven't played in a long time, but it's time to get that game going again Then as a federal fellow middle-aged person as firmly in your demo as the last guy who wrote about YouTube views

I also listen only to podcasts for the same reasons he gave I'd be willing to subscribe on YouTube though If that helps you in any way, I'm sure others would as well Love the pod keeps my co-workers guessing what I always have why I always have a shit-eating grin on my face While I'm listening. Rob from Cincinnati. It does help you, doesn't it, Greg, if he subscribes? Yeah, oh, absolutely. Subscribe on YouTube, leave a comment,

and then actually on Apple Podcasts also, stars and comments help us out a lot. The show's starting to grow. We're getting some more listeners, and it just takes and comments help us out a lot. The show's starting to grow. We're getting some more listeners and it just takes you guys helping us out, put the word out there, rate. That stuff means a lot because it's all about the algorithm,

which I do not understand, but it's been explained to me that that's what we need to do. Also, what is shit eating grin? He has a shit eating grin on his face. Why is somebody grinning if they're eating shit? Well, you know, there's that type of grin like grin and bear it. Yeah.

Maybe it's like a, but that's not an admirable grin. That looks like one sing. Now that's not my favorite emoji, which is the, ooh,ji, you know with the clenched teeth. Yeah. Yeah That's a goal. That's a that's a fun goal. That's a good New Year's resolution I want my number you know how like it tells you your most used emojis. They're right there for you I want it to be a heart instead of a little guy. Yeah Yeah, that's a good resolution. Yeah, that's good Yeah, yeah, right. That's a good resolution.

Yeah, that's good. I've been this in real life, I've been grit teeth guy a lot the last few days. I've been really like a Karen. I really feel, I mean, I'm probably not in real life, but I feel like I've been a Karen the last few days. Like my wife, my wife, we're getting the backyard done. So we're putting down flagstone across our whole backyard, which is a small yard. And this guy comes, he's a contractor, Israeli guy, really sharp, liked what he said, gave us a price.

It was not great. It was okay. And then I said to Aaron, all right, well, let's get another price or at least let's come back to him and say we have another bid and it's lower and blah, blah. So she said to me, she said, yeah, the guy called today and he said, are we interested? And I said, yeah, we're ready to move forward. We just wanna talk about the price.

And I just go like, why do you kill me? Why do you kill me on money things? Like it's, this was the plan, we had a plan. Well, she said they have to negotiate. Like it's, this was the plan, we had a plan. Well, she said they have to negotiate. Yeah, but he's, he's Israeli. You ever negotiate with an Israeli? They're the best. They smile, they have this,

they have this little grin in their face where it's almost like they know they're playing a game and they know you're playing a game and then they win, they charm you. They always, oh, they're the best. It's like an Irish eating grin. Exactly. Don't forget, by the way, speaking of sales,

the Cousies, we still, we got a new shipment of Cousies. They're flying off the shelves. Summer's here, it's almost over. Keep those beers and those soda pops cold. Here's the good news. I obviously had some personal stuff going on, but before I flew out, I stayed up till like one in the morning. I wrote a bunch of people on Venmo. I'm trying to find anyone, if anyone write in a new email to Greg, there's not going to be many of you, I don't think. If you didn't get, we wanna make good.

We wanna make good on the koozies. One guy used to work at ABC in New York. I sent it there, I followed up with him. He's like, ah, you know, this is giving me enough comic joy imagining the koozie being like passed around ABC News in New York, because I don't work there anymore. Because it took so long to get to him. So anyway.

Oh my God. I just sent it. I just sent out to all the winners of the caption contest up till whatever it was. I guess the last one you sent me Greg last week. So I think I'm caught up. They should be arriving this coming week, but write in if you haven't gotten yours yet. And if you just requested it in June till now, don't write in, just wait to see if you get it this week. But if you were before June, please write us. Well, that's a great spiel. Yeah. Promote the selling of more podcasts, more koozies.

Koozies, no, no, no, now I'm on them, on them. They're going out. They're great. All right, get a koozie. Go to fitzdog.com and you'll see a link. You're gonna send a Venmo directly to Mike. $10 shipping included right to your door, right away. You got it.

Okay, and they're autographed, obituary. And that's all folks. You know, we missed a couple Shannon Doherty we missed we realized and that's tragic. How did she die? Did you look it up? Other than looking at pretty pictures of her from having the greatest from having the greatest rack of all time. Now I don't know how she died, I don't know how she lived. It seemed like she was on drugs her whole life. But the obituary we're featuring today is Martin Mull,

who is a comedy legend. And he was a musician and actor. He started in the 70s with the TV series Fernwood Tonight. Was that what Between Two Ferns was based on? I don't think so, although I believe Zach's been asked about that before. It's very similar. I mean, first of all.

He went on to appear as Colonel Mustard in Clue and was in a rested... Huh? Oh, you froze up. Oh, I was gonna say you froze. Oh, but are we live again? Oh, okay. We keep it together that he was on Arrested Development, Roseanne.

Anyway, he was 80 years old and passed away. And I know at Kilbourne, we started to use him. I think he played Craig's dad. We had a lot of things and then two incredibly, you know them incredibly talented writers who are both that family guy, Alex Sulkyn and Goldie created, no, sorry, Alex Sultan, Sulkyn not Goldie. Goldie, I think worked on it. Sulkyn and Wellesley Wild, who you also know,

created a sitcom dads and because of the work we did with them on Killborn and like how goddamn funny Martin Mull was, like even just between takes and hanging out with us, they cast him as one of the dads in that sitcom, which lasted a season on Fox. He was amazing. He was so good. Yeah, he was super talented.

Yeah. Did he come out of like Second city or one of those places? No, but you know, he was with what on Fernwood tonight. Oh, with Fred, what's his name? Willard. Fred Willard. I mean, the smartest driest guys in the room. Are you kidding me?

I gotta go back and watch some of those. Yeah. I remember actually not connecting to it when I watched it, but maybe it was because I was so used to well-produced slick TV and it kind of wasn't, and maybe I didn't get the joke back then. Right. No, no, I think you're right. I think it was so dry. Like what kid is going to find Fred Willard funny? Yeah. You you you're that's his genius is you're taking them at face value.

Like when he's like, Oh, like even in spinal tap. Oh, you guys play really loud. You know, like, it's just there's such another level that he's bringing it when you know what's going on, right? Right? All right, we're doing funnies through the funnies. Here we go All right caption contest We had a great one last week. We got a lot of funny responses to it Don't forget send these into FitzogRadio at gmail.com. You get enrolled. The winner gets a koozie. This week we got a bear sitting at a bar. He's got a beer in his hand. The bartender is looking at him. The bear is, and David Dravenak said,

uh-oh, I know you guys think we only shit in the woods, but you're gonna need to clean this bar stool. Brian Woodhouse said, holy crap, lefty does feel like a stranger. Can I borrow that towel? He's got his left arm under the bar. Oh, he's masturbating at the bar. Rich Kennedy said I gotta say I feel a little guilty but like I told Chris Handon Goldilocks

was in my bed. She was asking for it. He's sharing a lot with the bartender yeah. Phil McCracken says yeah Goldilocks was a real wild cat in bed, but I just got my test results and it's not just right. Believe me. All right. John said, 20 years later, Bartender says to Bear, you have told that machine story three times already. Put a shirt on.

Little Berk Reischer reference. Jason H said, so I wake up four months later, my asshole hurts like a bitch, and Mikey and Dennis can't keep a straight face around me. That's funny. Well, that person knows our back story. Jacob Tinman said, then this little blonde bitch has the audacity to complain about my porridge. Todd Youngerging says, so get this, little brown bear now identifies as a fucking

cockatoo. Okay. Sean Johnson said, I used to be Smokey the Bear you can't imagine the horrors I've witnessed out there I cannot see that man it haunts me. Jeff Plasted said honestly I'm eating right through my ozempic. So there we have it those are the... I kind of like that last one. I don't know why. We got a lot of submissions and I really did, I grabbed what I thought were the best ones, but if yours didn't get picked, I apologize.

I just, there's so many. I'm doing my best. And the ones, you know, the ones I miss, I feel like maybe we should put them on the website or something so people can see all of them. All right, so we're gonna go. I don't know on this one. Or Goldilocks, wanna go with the last one?

Okay, let's go with the last one. Jeff placed it, congratulations. You placed it, you showed, and you won. It does look like a very casual conversation. He doesn't look aggressive at all. He doesn't look sad. He kind of looks like innocently like he's like confessing something light. And he and he's fat.

He's a fat bear. He's a big fat bear. He's fat. Yeah. There you go. All right. Next week, the caption is, it's a desert. There's several cacti and the sun is setting over the Red Mountains in the background. Two men are crawling across the sand. They've got

five o'clock shadows, their clothing is ripped up, and you've seen this scene before of one guy crawling through the sand. Now this is two guys, they're crawling past each other, and they're looking at each other and one says to the other one, what? Crawling in opposite directions. I like it. All right, Adam Copeland had a thought. He said, usually only listen on Apple podcasts and I have never had an issue.

I don't know what that means. I'm a little late on seeing as how you guys are done with Calvin and Hobbes comic, but a fun conspiracy theory is that Calvin and Hobbes is a young Tyler Durden from Fight Club. And that's why his imagination is always running wild. I'll buy that. Okay. Speaking of I wish I wish this. I wish Tyler Durden were funnier. I guess I would say that. That's true. Speaking of wild, Hager answers the door.

In the foreground of the frame is a naked woman. She's got a drink in her hand and she's apparently topless and the guards say the village constable ordered us to shut down your party and arrest you. Hager says when did having a party become a crime and the guards now have Hager tied up and they're leading him away and they go when you did invite the village constable and here here's the thing. How about the crime being that he was just raping this redheaded woman who has no clothes on? Yeah. Not having a party. I want to see the rule book. I want to see the the law book from back in the in the 1100s. Well I think the constable wanted

in on the raping. I think that's what's coming across to me. It's the right thing to do. Yeah. You're not going to invite me to your rape fest, Viking? Let's get to the lock horns. And Leroy has a bill in his hand, the plumber's walking out and he goes, plumbers are the real power behind the throne. All right. Okay. And the next one, he's talking to the marriage counselor, and he goes,

Loretta even interrupts me when I talk in my sleep. And then she's standing on a scale scratching her head. And Leroy goes You'll make your target weight soon Loretta. Keep your chins up. That's just such a 1950s joke Yeah, yeah They're good. Yeah. All right. Now we have a old Tyler Durden Calvin and Hobbes This is the second Jordan Calvin and Hobbes.

This is the second, uh, best, cause these are the 15 best Calvin and Hobbes comic strips according to, I don't even know what cbr.com is, but anyway, so it's one frame. It's one long sort of, um, what do you call it? A landscape kind of frame. Yeah. Panoramic. So there's a bunch of snowmen and one snowman is like holding his head in his hands. And it's looking at where his head used to be.

Another snowman seems like it was impaled by a tree. Another one's buried. Another one has a really messed up face with many eyes. And then we see someone has slid through another one cutting it in half. And then Calvin is talking to his mom with his ski hat on and everything. And he's like, you don't see my snowman house of horror, do you? Oh no. You don't like my snowman house of horror. You don't like my snowman house of horror, do you?

And that's it. That is, she looks judgmental, I guess. And Calvin is saying that, and I don't know why. I'm picturing me writing this one and then submitting it. And it seems incomplete. It does. It seems like there should be a frame before it, several frames before it.

But I think the mother's a little horrified that maybe he's a sociopath. You know, like, yeah, this could be an early warning sign that he will kill kids at a school at some point. Well, the mom would be like, you know, your, uh, your snowman house of horror is not nearly as disturbing as the imaginary friend you have and all the all the shenanigans you pull with him every day. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're hearing voices, Calvin, you're hearing voices and you're speaking and I don't like it. And he's not that young anymore. He's getting a little old for the talking of the stuffed animal thing. Yeah. All right. Okay. getting that's number two, that's number two.

Speaking of getting a little old, uh, dummy is in bed wearing his donut pajamas. Blondie is reading a, she's reading a book. If that woman was in my bed, night after night, she would read upwards of one sentence a night before being ravaged. He says, he's on his laptop, these fake online rumors are so annoying. And she goes like what? And he goes like, the shocking rumors you've heard about this celebrity couple are true.

She goes, who is it? And he goes, Homer and Marge Simpson. She goes, wow, must be a slow news day. So all right, first of all, I don't like when they break the fourth wall in comic strips. Second of all, is she shitting on The Simpsons? Must be a slow news day?

Are you making fun of maybe the great, it started off as a, what was it called when it was a comic strip? What? The Simpsons was a comic strip before it was a animated show. Oh, Life in Hell? Is that what it was? Yeah. I think so. And it was amazing. And no offense to Blondie because I have a lot of respect for her intellect as well as her beauty, but I think her being

married to him doesn't give her the footing to take a shot at a comic strip like life in hell hold on I'm looking up life in hell nope it was a call so what was original Simpsons I wrote it was called the Simpsons. I wonder what year they started. I'll look that up. Give or take. Ready, Greg, before you look it up, give or take four years. When did The Simpsons comic strip start? Oh, the comic strip. I'm going to say.

1985. Oh, you're wondering when the show The Simpsons? No, you said the comic strip. I'd say The Simpsons comic strip was 85. I'd say the TV show was 91. The Family, so it goes, what was the original version of The Simpsons? The family debuted as shorts on the Tracy Ullman show on April 19th, 1987. After a three season run, the sketch was developed into a half hour prime time show called The Simpsons, which debuted on December 17th, 1989.

I said 91. I said 91. Yeah, Simpsons Comics was a monthly series based on the animated TV show, The Simpsons. So it was never a comic strip. Huh, okay. But Groenig was well known for Life in Hell. Oh, that's what it is.

Okay, got it. All right. Well, listen, I think we've closed it out. Mike, we covered a lot. It was a good, I apologize to the listeners if the sound was off for the first 17 minutes. I did not have my headphones plugged in. It might sound like shit.

And I apologize at an hour and seven minutes when my computer almost went dead and I apologize at an hour and seven minutes when my computer almost went dead and I had to go get a plug. I apologize that Mike is staring off camera right now like a dog staring at a tree. There was a Simpsons comic strip but it said it was 2004. I don't know. I kind of don't care either. All right well well listen, we wanna remind you guys, if you wanna get tickets to something and not get scammed by one of those companies, go to Game Time, get the app, and then create an account and redeem code papers

for $20 off. Also, the special's coming out August 27th. Tell your friends, look for it, and that should do it. Anything you wanna plug? I'm starting to enjoy the show Slow Horses, I guess. Oh, I love Slow Horses. Yeah, it's great. Gary Ullman.

Hey, what book should Sophie and I listen to as we drive across country? Oh, you listen to- You're gonna say Prayer for Olumini. No, in cold blood, me and Aaron listened to it on our trip. It's the original true crime. It's so good. No, I read it. I told you I was alone in West Hampton. And it's the only time in my life, I think I was like, I'm gonna go lock the doors. Yeah, yeah. I was like, it was like, during the week in fall, and I was you really feel all alone out there like none of

New York is in the Hamptons anymore. And out on like Dune Road. And I'm like, No, this is where a killer would come. He'd see a light on this is where he'd come. Yeah. What's a good book? Moby Dick as read by Burt Reynolds is a pretty good one. Did you just make that up? No, no, no. When me and Aaron drove across the country

from New York to LA in 1999, we listened to Moby Dick as read by Burt Reynolds, where he does a brogue for Ahab's voice. First of all, I just lost the bet on has Burt Reynolds ever read Moby Dick? Why, did you look it up? But he was paid to read it, so that maybe I split the money.

What do you mean, of course he was paid to read it. Why else would he read it? No, I'm saying that doesn't really count then I don't know if he ever read the book. I Don't know look at this talk talk about a good I know we're freezing now, but look at this I've done this podcast on a pile of books cast on a pile of books. Talk about a collection of books. We've got the Corrections, The Road by Cormac McCarthy, Breakfast at Tiffany's by Capote, A Natural History of the Senses by Diane Ackerman, and The House in the Pines by Anna Reyes. Those are all solid. Cormac McCarthy, The Road is a fucking intense read. He just died a couple years ago. He's one of my favorite authors. Oh, are you kidding? No Country for Old Men? Yeah. All right. All righty,

my man. All right. Enjoy your time there. Enjoy your trip across the country. And we'll catch you next time. Take it eesh. Take it eesh. Let's go. The end of the week is here at last. Catching up on all the news with the Sunday Papers podcast.

Greg and Mike espouse their judgments, hiding them as facts. But give them a break, it's all for a laugh. The Sunday Papers Podcast.