Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 228 8/18/24

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

Billie Eilish fires her Pervy agent, the Matthew Perry case has people drowning in indictments, Kevin Hart worked a three way on Molly and Tommy Lee’s son is such a cool guy. 

Take me back to the Sunday Papers podcast. I won't ask if it's online or paperback. Anybody. Read all about it! Read all about it! Sunday Papers! Coming to you live from Venice Beach in Santa Monica, California. Hot off the presses. Put your nose against the ink, inhale, feel the buzz, baby. What were they, someone was telling us that someone was killed nearby? Was that what happened? Yeah, about a block from my house.

Somebody from, I don't know, it was a drug deal going bad. Somebody got stabbed in the neck about a block away and they died. Oh, jeez. Welcome to Venice Beach, baby. Oh no, no, an actor got killed. That's what he was saying, downtown. Oh no, same spot. Oh boy. And an earthquake. Big earthquake. I was doing a podcast with Paul Scheer and Jason Mazza, what's his name? He's the voice on Big Mouth and... Manzoukas? Yeah, Manzoukas. He and Paul have a podcast. So I was doing that on the day of the earthquake and there we're in three different parts of LA and literally at the same time we all went, holy shit. And we shook for like five seconds

on the podcast. It was crazy. I saw Newswoman lose it and like kind of in a good way take control though. She was just like making sure everyone was all right. Yeah. So did they keep that in the podcast? I don't know. I would imagine. I mean, it's kind of a special moment. I think it's a great, great moment. Yeah. I hope one hits during this podcast would make a nice promo. Yeah, we need a good promo. And yeah, so I'm about to go on the road for three weeks straight. I'm coming home for one day out of three weeks. I'm doing New York. I'm doing a bunch of podcasts in New York,

and then I'm doing a bunch in Austin, and then a bunch in LA. I have a big announcement that's coming out. Can't say what it is yet, but on Tuesday there's gonna be a big announcement so pay attention to my social media and you'll hear it. Big announcement Tuesday. Yep. Okay. You kind of had a big announcement today. I did. You lied to us. Well we were playing golf it was Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons, and Gubbins

at Penn Mar. Of course. And I said, guys, I got some new merch. I want to give you guys all a present. Come out to my car. And instead of my beat up 2011 Toyota Prius, sitting there is a two-year-old Ford Mustang. You did it, pal. Charcoal gray. Charcoal gray. I've wanted a Mustang my entire life and I finally I could never spend a lot on a car. I mean I didn't buy brand new but still it's only got about 20,000 miles on it. It's goddamn gorgeous. It's fast. It's very good looking. I have to say, I normally don't like Mustangs

and it looks a little more, dare I say European, than an American muscle car. Like the lines are really nice on it. Yeah, it's got nice lines. I loved your reaction to it because I think you've known how long I've wanted a Mustang and how much I've talked about it. And you just like froze.

You're like, you did it yeah you're always dreaming the Prius dreamer that's what you know what the hell I realized I'm 58 what the fuck am I waiting for I get so worried about money in my life because you know what it's like I got fucking two kids and who knows in this career if you're ever gonna make money and you get so worried but then you just also go like, you know, how much more is there, I'm not a material guy.

You get one thing that's fun. You bought a used car, it was great. Seriously. Like you treated yourself but let's be real, you didn't treat yourself that well. No, no. And is it a V8? Nah. I'll tell you what, the baseline Mustang though has a 305 in it.

It's fast as shit. I can't imagine needing anything faster in LA than this car. Oh, I know. It's crazy. You want to see fast cars in LA than this car. Oh, I know, it's crazy. You want to see fast cars in LA. Drive on the freeways after midnight, they're out there racing. Oh my God.

Dude, it's like the West Side Highway. In New York, West Side Highway, you get all those Jersey grease balls coming in, and they're, you know, in their muscle cars. Now you're one of them. Yeah, now I'm one of them. No, the car is beautiful, man. I was very happy for you.

It was very cool seeing it out there. Yeah, well, thank you. I'm happy. And I also, we got a chance to see Gubbins today. Last week, I really kind of shit on him. I hit him hard about a gig that he invited me to that it turns out we were not on. I was a little bit embarrassed.

And I kind of laid into, I might've gone a little far. So hold on, the whole debacle last week was a Fitz fact. It was one of these Fitz facts. You didn't have it straight? No, no, no, no, no, no, I got it straight. Oh. I just, no, I just was meaner to him than I should probably be. Right.

And he was hurt. And he wrote me a text. And then I called him and I apologized. Nice. Did I call him or text him? I think I texted him. And then I was on Kevin Nealon. Kevin Nealon has a show at the Laugh Factory on Monday nights where you do stand up

and then you sit down and he interviews you for like 10 minutes. So during the interview, for whatever reason, he goes, are you good at apologizing? And I go, I just apologized today. He goes, you did. He said, who to? I said, Dennis Gubbins.

He goes, well, call him, call him right now. So I called him live on stage from the Laugh Factory, and I think it's a podcast also, and Gubbins answered, and I apologized again, and he was so fucking funny. And he was like, Kevin, I just was talking about your wife today, and he has some funny story about Kevin's wife,

because she's an actress. And it was great, it was a fun call call but then of course he calls me like the next day he's like is I think there's more we need to talk about you like he needed to have another layer which was fine we talked about it we're good can you can you do Kevin's podcast again I yeah he books me on another podcast to talk about it. We get there and we're not on it. Neelan saw your car, I am assuming. He did. And I go, Kevin, I've dreamt of having a, I said, I used to play with matchbox cars

and the Mustang was my car. And when I was little, I would stare at them. And to this day I stare at Mustangs and I go and I finally bought one. And when I was little, I would stare at them. And to this day, I stare at Mustangs. And I go, and I finally bought one. And he goes, did you buy it new? And my heart sank. I was like... And then last night, I'm at the store and I told Fahim Anwar about my new car.

And he goes, let's check it out. And I go and he goes, let's get in. And I got in and we just sat there for like 10 minutes talking about the car and about other shit. And then he was like, all right, man, I guess I'll see you later. And I realized as I'm driving home, oh, he wanted me to drive him around the block.

Like he got in my car to see how it drove. And I just sat there like an idiot. And you guys just made out, that's weird. Your first, your first HJ in the new car, mission accomplished. Can you imagine, I get the manliest car ever and it turns me into a queen, turns me into a fairy. What words can you say?

You can say queen and fairy, fairy? I don't know, I've given up. I kind of say the words I want to say if I feel I have a good defense of them. Yeah. And I shouldn't talk about them in a public forum like this maybe. I called my daughter a bitch though today. Not to her face. But so when we were driving across country, I didn't tell this part last week, she just got back from Asia. She was backpacking and doing all this stuff.

And she was on malaria pills, including other things. So she then had some stomach pain, but like pain while swallowing, which she's never had in her life. And then, long story short, all of a sudden she had a terrible night in one of the hotels. And then we're driving into Nebraska towards Aguilala. And she's like, I have to see someone. I'm so worried.

It really hurts. And it's gotten worse. And I don't know. She's like, I'll go to urgent care. I'm like, Sophie, it's just after dinner. I'm like, it's like 10 o'clock't know. She's like, I'll go to urgent care. I'm like, Sophie, it's like, this is after dinner. I'm like, it's like 10 o'clock at night. There's no urgent care. And she's like, all right, well then

we'll go to the emergency room. I'm like, yeah. I go, um, I go, is there any way? I go, I looked it up. The urgent care opens at like seven a.m. Why don't we, it's like, dad, it hurts so much and I couldn't sleep last night. And anyway, I'm trying to walk a line

between like saying no fucking way and dealing with her pain sensitively. So we go to the emergency room. Ah, there's thousands of dollars right there. It's empty, right? They're like check her in and she, so she walks up and she goes, I'm experiencing like chest pain. I'm like, No, no, I go no, I go no, she's not. And and the woman goes,

how old are you? And Sophie goes, you know, 20. And she's like 21. Sorry, 21. But it doesn't matter. It's 18. It's over 18. She goes, 21. And then there was no more eye contact with me. I wasn't allowed to say a word. The head receptionist, whatever, nurse receptionist who's taking her in just looks at Sophie. And I'm like, I go, but Sophie, please explain it's not just, you don't understand what those words do in here. And so, all right. Longer story short, they then check her out. All of a sudden I'm in there and I'm like, what's happening now? She said, well, we're giving her an EKG. I'm like, this is a digestive issue. I'm like, this is a digestive issue, please. And then Sophie was trying to backpedal like crazy. Like, no, no, no, no. I've, I'm like, this is a digestive issue, please. And then Sophie was trying to backpedal like crazy.

Like, no, no, no, no. I'm never, it has nothing to do with my breathing. It has nothing to do. I have this pain while swallowing in my chest. It's by the sternum. It's behind the sternum, blah, blah, blah. I'm trying to explain. Anyway, got the bill today.

Let me open my, here's the bill. So, oh, by the way, so we were in there. The doctor comes out, sees with the situation, as the nurse says, he may wanna do a PET scan. I'm like, he's not. And then meanwhile, Sophie's getting angry at me because she's like, they're the professionals. I'm like, I know, but you've set them up to fail here.

So I didn't say those words. So anyway, the doctor then comes in, they do a blood panel to make sure because they do know that she was all over Asia and was just back. They see, they look up the side effects and some of the side effects are exactly this from the medicine and the guy kind of assesses it and this is what we leave with. Why don't you go home, it would be more expensive if I gave it to you, but just get some antacids and see how that works.

You're going to take that for a few days and if it is a like fissure or whatever a a I forget what it's called but behind the sternum in your lower esophagus then they'll check that out if indeed you do have some sort of like tear there but this would be the first step anyway so we leave with he give us the blood panel everything blah blah blah and we then go to a fucking pharmacy. No, we went to a gas station. No pharmacy was open. We went to a fucking gas station to get Tums. Yeah. And then the next day we get Prilosec. Anyway, the bill is $2,497. $2,497 in this great country of ours. And here's Sophie to her credit. Let me find.

Yeah, my health insurance cost me $40,000 a year. And each member of my family has a $1,700 deductible before they pay a dime. What the fuck is that? So the bill was sent to Sophie, of course, because she's over 18, and all caps, yikes! And she goes, hope this is without insurance. I will never say chest pain ever again, I promise.

Well, I hate to say it, it Mike I think she might be her mother's daughter. Well I know I mean I hope I think she learned a little but yeah there yeah the Jewish the Jewish side of the family seems attracted to health care. Yes. It's a comfort I believe it's a comfort for them. Now the amount of times Aaron has taken our kids the emergency room and I'm just going it's fucking nothing. I had explained this over the day in an email I gently I wasn't like a giant I told you so I go listen this is how I phrase that I go listen you know what it's part of getting older you realize you absolutely don't go to

emergency room unless you need it. And then I recalled my story, like I ruptured my Achilles, the thing rolled up behind my knee and it was a Sunday. And then I got the an on call doctor, like I paged a doctor and they're like, the only thing you do is go to the emergency room. I'm like, could they do anything? They're like, no, they would tell you to to the emergency room. I'm like, could they do anything? They're like, no. They would tell you to go see a doctor tomorrow morning,

then, you know, rice it, you know, ice it, raise it, you know, compress it. And I'm like, that's what I'm, yeah, no emergency room, not a chance. Did I tell you on this show about, I've got something in my shoulder, I've got like calcium buildup? I told this story, right?

Yeah. Wait, so putting it- The follow-up appointment, which by the way, was $560 for me to drive there. Took 35 minutes to get there, 15 bucks to park. The doctor made me wait a half hour for the appointment in the waiting room. And then we had literally a 90 second talk where he goes,

it's what we talked about before. So I'm going to I'm going to refer you to another doctor. Any questions? I go, yeah, couldn't this have been done over the phone for nothing for no money? Or even some money? Yeah, I'll give you 80 bucks, but fucking 560 bucks. And the healthcare industry in this country is completely fucked up. I mean, it's just such big money. Why do you think it's not going away? But if anyone has advice, so insurance hasn't tackled this yet. And then by the way, I call them I call the number on that fucking bill from these people.

What is it? It's I'm probably gonna hear some crazy shit about this place. It is, I don't even know the name of the place. Anyway, they're like, all right, well, I could take your insurance. I'm like, you already have it. They wouldn't even talk to her

before they had photocopies of the back and front of my card. They confirm the information. She's like, well, sir, as I, oh, so this is funny. So I go, so I'm dealing with this woman. And then I start getting attitude because I'm like, you have the insurance. I go, and by the way, maybe it hasn't been put in yet. That's why I'm calling.

I then retreat back to friendly mode and she's like, well, sir, I keep telling you, if you want to give me your insurance, we can put this into the bill and see what comes out. I'm like, I'm assuming that's done, blah, blah, blah. At the end of the call, I go. She goes, All right. I and I gave her the information again. She goes, um, anything else I can help you with? I'm like, Well, if if I don't hear back or like, you told me to wait 30 or 40 days now, I don't want to all of a sudden be late on a payment when like you told me to wait 30 or 40 days now, I don't want to all of a sudden be late on a payment when I've been told to wait 30 or 40 days. I go, do you have an identification number or I don't know how it works there. She's like, well, I can give you my name. And I'm like,

okay. She's like, it's first name money. I'm like, M-O-N-E-Y, she's like, yeah. Last initial, G. And I'm like, Money G. She's like, yep. And she, and hold on, and she has a little bit of an attitude, and I'm like. This is in Wisconsin? I don't know where she is, it's probably a corporate office

for this hospital, but this was in Nebraska. And so I'm like, okay. And I go, Money G. I go, all right, is there anything else? Is there an extension or something, like in case they're wondering who I told? She's like, nope. And I'm like, okay, well thank you.

She's like, all right, have a good day. So then I sit there and I'm like, did I just be, and I Google Money G, of course it's a rapper, and I'm like. Oh, are you serious? Yeah, but hold on. So I'm that Google Money G, of course it's a rapper, and I'm like, oh are you serious? Yeah, but hold on, so I'm like, Money G, I go, did I just get, like, did I just get fucking completely blown off

by this Money G? And I'm like, is that like a real, so I call back, because I'm gonna say, hey you know I just had a phone call, and I'll play innocent, I'm like, I just had a phone call, and I wanna confirm who I talked to and I want to see if you have a record of it. But the name was money G. So I call back. Of course I'm on hold forever, just like I was the first time. And then the person answers and it's like,

thank you for your call. Your service, you know, your, your satisfaction is our number one thing. She gives a little opening spiel, just like she did for us, and then I'm like, this voice sounds familiar. And then she's like, and if your satisfaction is not really blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, my name is Money, how can I help you? I'm like, oh! No way!

So I hung up. No way, that's hilarious! Ha ha ha! So I hung up right on Money G, before she recognized it was me. Maybe Money G's career is not going that well in the rap world. And she's picking up a little work at a teleconference. Well the Money G rapper I found was a male, but there was multiple Money G's in the game

I think. But I had to hang up before she realized it was Mikey G calling back Yeah Pathetic I hang up on money G poor money G This is my mother money G. Yeah, and Wow So we'll see yeah, I spent I swear to God I, I feel like a good portion of the reason why I have anger and stress in my life is dealing with having to call companies. The constant call, push eight buttons, and then get put on hold for 22 minutes.

It's so consistent. And then you get somebody who has to transfer you. And it's like, who has this time in their life? All right, here's the best one. This is, I'm gonna keep this really tight. On my credit card bill, $10 every month. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, I didn't even notice it and I assumed it was the kids, the first two.

It's been going on six months, say. Propertysearch.com. So I go on PropertySearch.com, I'm like, what the, what is this? Anyway, in the Visa bill, there's a number I can call. And also, I found it online. I call them. This is how they answer the phone.

Also, I can hear them at home, like doing home stuff, like kids in the background and stuff like that. So I call, and they're like, swear to God, thank you for calling this. Do you, my name is whatever. Do you wanna cancel your account? First question. And they're like, swear to God, thank you for calling this. My name is whatever. Do you wanna cancel your account? First question.

First question. And by the way, and I called two different times. So I call and they're like, I'm like, yes, I do wanna cancel. I'm like, who are you? What are you? She's like, I don't know. What is it for?

I'm like, property search. So this number is for a bunch of different scams, I guess. And then I looked at it. Was it Money G again? That's not money. Someone take your money G. Someone online said this is such a racket and went on to it. So they can't find my account. They're like, what is your email? Meanwhile, now I think my identity is getting stolen. That was the first time I called them. They asked me for my email, the last four digits of my credit card, all this stuff. So I give them every email.

I even gave them my old EarthLink one. It's like, we don't have anything. I'm like, well, you are taking $10 a month from me. You do that very efficiently. There's no problem with that. I go, you should be able to find it. I go, you have my credit card number. I eventually gave them the last like eight digits of the credit card they asked for. I'm like, you're billing me. You should be able to find it. And they cannot

find it at all. That means I have to like cancel my credit card. There's no way to contest a charge on your credit card. I know. But when you can test it, at least this is what MasterCard when you can test the charge, they they're like we're going to give you a new number and we have a new thing where we identify that one but any other recurring charges like Apple Pay or you know I mean like apple.com or whatever Netflix those will remain so it's not as big a hassle as it used to be. Right, right, right, right, yeah. But we're gonna issue you a new number. But they're gonna call me back within 20 days, they said. No, about a week ago, me and Aaron sat down with,

we have three different credit cards, we went through to look at recurring charges. We have Hulu three different ways. Because you know you got Roku on your TV, you can order channels through Roku, we got it on there, and then somehow me and Eric, like we have so many recurring charges. It's like hundreds of dollars a month. Kind of like those things that clean your Mac, like you have duplicate photos, you have duplicate

files. There's a service that does that for your duplicate subscriptions. Yeah, I've seen an ad for it. Is it an app? I don't know. I think it is an app. Yeah. All right. I'll do it. All right. Let's get going. We got a logo this week that I thought you'd like from Rick Prickett. Look at it. Little Calvin and Hobbs, that's our big send-off. Our final one was last week. Little tease. Little tease. So I looked up the best

Sunday comics of all time Number one is Calvin and Hobbes on ranker ranker comm number one is Calvin and Hobbes number two for Is far side fine fair enough number three anyway. I'm doing a new comic I'm doing the ten best of all time. I'm starting with number 10 at the end. It'll be a surprise what it is. Oh boy, here we go. Hopefully it's actually a bad one this time because I think there was 100% pushback

on Calvin and Hobbes from our listeners. It was like you taking on Elvis. You just don't do it. You just don't. All right, Pearls before swine. Have you ever heard of that? Yes. That was number four. Oh, three was peanuts. Yeah, I love peanuts. Look at my hat. Look at my six is Dilbert. Seven is my hat. Let me know. No, I know. I'm not doing peanuts because I don't want to crush you because they were

never ever, ever, ever, never ever ever ever ever ever ever funny six is Dilbert and seven is Foxtrot I'm doing the fifth best of all time. Okay so no blondie no haggard no lock horns in the top 10? Turns out I know you don't listen to our podcast we do those already. The song this week I gotta tell you tell you something. We appreciate everything you guys send us. It really is generous. But sometimes somebody puts up together that is like, wow. I mean, that song today is, it's from the Someday Believers. And it is just extraordinary. And we thank you so much when you when you go this far and do something that great.

So cool. Corrections. You also tell us when we suck. You've mispronounced my name on your podcast a few times saying Dvorak instead of Dvorak. It seems to induce dyslexia with most people. To help you remember how to pronounce it, I created a caption for a Cathy cartoon. Cathy's mom, I walked in on your dad banging the neighbor's lady.

So we're getting a devore. And Cathy goes, acck. That's right. My last name is pronounced Devore Acck. Hope that helps. That's one of the clearest explanations I've ever heard. Devore Acakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak He goes on to say, you have a haggard obsession and there is a great series about the Vikings, why they came about, what they did. It is also part of Irish history.

The show is on the History Channel. I'll watch that. I don't remember how the Irish are, I know that Ireland was invaded by the Vikings in like the 11th century. I think that's where we get our red hair from, is that possible? Maybe, but how are you unclear on how it's part of Irish history then? I just don't remember the details. I don't remember who came. I think we were in the victim column. Yeah, we were invaded by a lot of Spaniards came in, the Celts.

Then we got Bowles McLean says, "'The famous crowded car scene in the Marx Brothers movie is actually from A Night at the Opera, not Horse Feathers.' My mistake, we watched both those movies in the same week, and I guess I got him confused. Also, my name is pronounced Bowles, B-O-W-L-S, Bowls. And the last name, McClain, is pronounced same as Officer John McClain of the New York City Police Department.

I have someone here, someone who invited you to the party. That's from Die Hard. Look at these, do these two get together on ways to use entertainment to explain the pronunciation of their names. Rich McCabe said The Simpsons was never a comic strip. The creator of the show, Matt Groening, wrote a strip called Life is Hell. There's been a lot of discussion on this and I think this is the summation and the truth. It was

brought to the attention of James L. Brooks, who asked him to pitch Brooks some shorts, which he used on the Tracy Allman show. As for Mike remembering it in a movie theater, he is probably remembering a scene from Die Hard 2. We were just quoted from Die Hard. In the movie, as the planes are circling DC, the crew plays an episode of The Simpsons where the family is in group counseling electrocuting each other. No this ran before the movie

yeah. On a personal note my mom died today after a long bout four years with Lewy body dementia which is actually my wife's father died of that with most of that in hospice at home, this show has been a happy release today, so thanks to you and Mike. It's a horrible way to go. Ritch sort of buried the lead on this. Okay, so sorry, Ritch. Geez. Yep, sorry about that. You know, someone also wrote me that it was really sweet. It was a relative from the divorced side, the other side, and it was so sweet he reached out.

And he talked about his mom died of Alzheimer's 10 years with it. Oh yeah. Lisa's mom just passed and she lived with it for a good 10 years. And you know Josh, Josh's mom has had it for probably 10 years also in full care. Like that shit's like a hundred grand a year. It's only two and a half times your healthcare.

Right. Your insurance, which you don't, which you sometimes don't use, at least they're getting care. Meep Zork said the correct name of the date rape drug is roipenol. They are called roofies because the date rapists are idiots.

A roof, no offense to Brian from Chicago. I guess it's called roof and all, rope and all, I don't know. Why do you know this? People are really, yeah. Oh, we got another one on Simpsons. Allman filed a lawsuit in 1992 claiming that her show was the source of the Simpsons success and therefore should receive a share of the

show's profit. I breastfed those little devils, she once said. She wanted a share of The Simpsons. Merchandising and gross profits believe she was entitled to $2.5 million of Fox's estimated $50 million in 1992. The Fox network had paid her $58,000 in royalties for The Simpsons, as well as $3 million for the three and a half seasons. Her show was on the air.

Eventually the courts ruled in favor of the network. That's what Tim Keefe. All right, well she did all right. Not really. Think about what that show has grossed over the last 25 years. You know, I heard a story about when Fox was not when ABC bought them but I forget anyway it was a big corporate thing and then so

the bean counters came in and they're like what is this coffee thing and so they put the kibosh on the Fox lot here on Pico and George my brother-in-law worked there all of a sudden like there no, even if you're staying late, there's no Simpsons, sorry Simpsons, there's no Starbucks orders coming into the building anymore. Like you're using the coffee in the kitchen, blah blah blah. So then they went to the Simpsons room and I should know the name but anyway the head of the Simpsons is like, wait what's this issue? And's like well I'd like a meeting and so they have a meeting like what don't you understand about this there's no more Starbucks coming in and he's like look how do you see that building we built that building see that one over there we

built that you see that one would build there get the fuck out of my office and the Simpsons still got Starbucks. That's hilarious. Yeah, that's exactly how it should go. Well, when we worked on Ellen, the show was making boatloads of money. It was syndicated in every city. It was winning awards and then they just,

and then, you know, telepictures, just cutting money. So they, same thing, cut the coffee runs. Then they cut the sodas. Yep. And then they cut the snacks. Like there was just simple snacks in there for people that were working until 11 o'clock at night. They just kept cutting.

People slept in that office. People, executives were lining their pockets. Yeah. Crazy. They're wondering why it is such a shit show. Now you put non-creatives, you didn't even put lawyers who worked in a creative place in charge. These are just people so far away with how this animal works. Here's how this animal works. On the road, I'm coming to Louisville, the Comedy Works, August 23rd and 24th, or Comedy Club.

Then I'm going to the Comedy Works in Denver, August 29th through the 31st, the Mothership in Austin, September 6th through the 8th, Temecula, Montserrat Winery, September 21st. Then I'm coming to Alaska, Tulsa, Tacoma, San Francisco, all dates and tickets at FitzDogg.com. Probably Montserrat. Montserrat. You might be wrong. I think you're right. What did I say? Montserrat? Montserrat.

Also, if you hear the podcast today, which would be the 18th of August, tonight the Comedy Store will host Brody Fest, which is a comedy showcase, gonna be a lot of big names performing. They're raising money for Comedy Gives Back, who we're very close to everybody over there. They raise money for comedians in need. They get drug rehabs and health insurance. I should go to them for my health insurance. Sure should. So go to the Comedy Store tonight for that.

Let's get to the front page at 34 minutes in. Here we go now. Here we go, here we go, here we go now. All right, so this actually should have gone under corrections because last week we reported on this story and it's an evolving story. The cause of death for the 57 year old woman whose body was found in a baggage area at Chicago's O'Hare Airport last week has been revealed. Virginia Christine Vinton died by suicide on Thursday, August 8th

hanging by asphyxiation. She was seen on a video entering an unoccupied restricted area at 2 30 a.m. She was found entangled in a conveyor belt system in a baggage room and I'll tell you what this is why I only carry a bag on the plane. Is that why Greg? Never check luggage. It's too much. Well, adding insult to injury, the baggage handlers still technically consider her luggage, so they robbed her. They did it.

Yeah, they did. Yeah, they took everything they could. That's what they do in the middle of the morning when bags are in there. Yeah. But she was easily identified. That was the good news because she had tied a little red ribbon around the handle of her pants just so she could easily pick herself out on the conveyor belt.

I think it might have been around her neck actually. I don't know. It was on her pants. I wasn't going there. No. This is yours, right? Oh no, this is mine. No. New York trademark attorney Jeremy Green Eck

is a Kamala Harris supporter who hopes that this VP is successful in her bid for the White House because he bought a number of web domains with her name back in 2020. This guy apparently picks up domain names for like $10 and hopes to sell them at a profit later. It's really paid off for him. Four years ago, he purchased Harris Walls,

Harris W A L Z, an internet domain made up of Harris last name and that of her running mate for $8.99. $8.99 this week. He sold it to somebody who identified himself as a Harris supporter for $15,000. I'll tell you right now there is no way that that's that buyer was not a conservative super PAC who's going to give it to Pornhub for free. Yeah or worse Trump. Right. I mean I wonder I wonder how much she had to pay

for the photo of the black guy squatting with the big dong that's going to be linked to that website. The guy also bought the name I Don't Think She's Black.com and also January 6th, a part to do. Oh, don't even say it. What are the odds that if Kamala wins there will not be civil unrest? Well, you're hoping he loses by a lot, right? I mean, it would have to be a lot. I mean, of course we're hoping he loses by a lot. But if your only game was you don't want to see we're hoping he loses by a lot. But if your only game was you don't want to see any shenanigans, then what you're hoping for is a really definitive win. Yep. Which I don't think we're going to have.

Oh no. All right. What do we got next? Well, this is called the one where five people were charged for the fatal drug overdose of Matthew Perry, who was found dead on October 28th, 2023. I don't know if you saw what I did there, but Friends episodes were famously called the one where. Oh, I would know that I never watched one episode. Oh, no, but if you're on TV, you wouldn't have seen it. You just have to kind of know about their scripts. And it's like the one where Monica, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So clever. The suspects named in the federal indictment were identified as doctors, these two doctors, Plasentia and Chavez, and then Kenneth Iwamasa.

One's a Santa Monica doctor. And then his live-in assistant and broker, Mark Fleming, and accused drug dealer Jasveen Sanga. Perry began buying drugs from Jasveen Sanga and she is called the Ketamine Queen of Los Angeles. And might I say- Is that a pageant? Might I suggest her-

It's a pageant where everybody just slumped over on the stage. She was runner up the year before, but now she has the crown. For her talent section, she'll be drooling and twitching. Might I suggest you try to shake that handle before appearing before a judge? Does she get sworn in as the ketamine queen? Her daughter's acting up. She's like, don't be such a princess.

She lives in North Hollywood and she sold ketamine and other drugs and provided Perry's assistant with the dose that ultimately led to his death. Investigators said Matthew Perry fell back into addiction during the fall of 2023, between September and October. And these people supplied 70 vials of ketamine to Perry. I mean with friends like that, Greg. Oh god, I think it was the hot tub was too hot. You can't put it above 103. Makes you drowsy. How's that assistant doing by the way and how is that assistant getting his next job like yeah, no, I've worked I've worked. I know the drill. I've worked for famous people before. Oh, yeah who well, you know various various people

Did everything for them. I keep my bosses very calm. They're very low-key when I'm around That's just terrible. I mean that poor assistant I think. I mean blood is on their hands. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm not saying it's their fault but blood got around and some is on that person's hands. Yeah. All right let's skip this one and go right on to entertainment. You got it. Here we go. Oh soft paper. Billy Eilish dropped agency mogul Casey Wasserman on Tuesday in the aftermath of his high profile extramarital affairs scandal. Wasserman, Wasserman's the agency too, Wasserman's CEO.

He's also the committee chairman for LA 28 Olympic Games. He formerly served as a live booking representative for the superstar Oscar and Grammy winning singer. Fall Out Around Wasserman began after a daily male expose on his years long practice of sleeping with female employees broke earlier this month. You got to practice. If you want to get good, you gotta practice and practice sleeping with the female employees.

10,000 hours, that's what they say. The report left Eilish very upset by the allegations as she prepared to part ways. It was finalized Tuesday following the singer's performance in honor of LA 28's Olympics, that whole ceremony alongside the chili Peppers, Snoop Dogg. Yeah, so she is cutting ties. I think she must have, she was so mad, I think she must have strained her voice yelling at

this agent because she clearly lip synced that song in Long Beach for the Olympics. I think she might have manifested this bad guy. Isn't that a name of her song? That's why you don't dwell on the negative. You attract it, Greg. Wait a minute, you know Billie Eilish songs? Oh, I went to, I saw her concert. Did you like it?

I loved it, I really like her. Is it a lot of whisper singing though? Or does she? No, it gets very, well, I sent her song on the Saturday Night Live two years ago, maybe three. Okay. It was pretty extraordinary. No, no, no, I have been absolutely swept away

by Billie Eilish. I find her to be very talented, but I've tried to listen to albums and I feel like I get, it's a little too whispery after a while. It can be, it's a mood. It's definitely a mood. All right, here's a little too whispery after a while. It can be, it's a mood. It's definitely a mood. All right, here's a long story,

but I need to read it all because it's pretty good. It's sort of ironic that it hasn't gotten shorter. Go ahead. All right, comedian Kevin Hart has finally confessed about the night in 2017 when he cheated on his wife, Aniko Hart, with a random woman in Las Vegas. Aren't they all random in Las Vegas? Rando's.

And on that fateful night, he said he was coerced to do Molly by an unnamed friend. Maybe the name was Molly. Unfortunately, not only did the drug take him on a trip, but according to some, it almost cost him his entire family. He admitted he was hesitant to take the drug.

No, I don't really fuck with drugs like that, he told the friend, but the ride along actor broke after his pals relentless nagging. He said in the disposition, fuck it, I said. I put it in my drink, had some water there, blah, blah, blah, I'm fine with drinking, the night is good. He met a woman named Montia Sabag. Hart stated that he bought Sabag and

another woman named Morgan to his hotel room despite being married to wife Iniko who was home pregnant with the couple's first child. The actor testified that Morgan did not spend the night, and then there's some stuff that's redacted here. Sabag was not able to get him to bed, get him to bed her that first night that they hung out, but in the morning she was able to entice him into having sex with her.

I guess he was, he's strong at night, not so much in the morning. I did not have sex with Montia that night he said I had sex with her the following morning. She woke me up. He broke down he said uh he said that she was trying to get closer to the hidden camera that ultimately recorded their rendezvous. I'm guessing I'm guessing Tom Brady put that girl up to this. He's still pissed about the roast. Although it did predate the roast. Oh, that's right.

But anyway, you tap into exactly my reaction. I think that he's not to blame. He blames his friend for making him take the drug. The woman forced him to have sex. Oh, and I guess his accountant forced him to do ride along too and night school. You know, an apology for this egregious act. It was a pretty low bar, but no bar is low enough

for Kevin Hart. I think we can agree on that. What a victim. Look how many times he's the victim. Is this story that he finally confessed to being a victim, I guess? Here's the bottom line. You can't be that famous and go to Las Vegas. Bad shit is just going to happen. You know what I mean? Like, especially when you're, he's the kind of guy that's always in the middle of it.

He's always at this party and that party and he's with a bunch of people that are talking to him into doing drugs. You don't go to Vegas like that. Bad shit's going to happen. I mean, I wish I had this guy on the stand if that's what's going on. Is this a, where did he confess? He admitted... where was all this? He... oh there was a... it was a... it's... it's a... I had to trim this story down. Basically his friend... he's suing his friend or his friend is suing him so

there was a trial and this all came out in the trial. Oh my God. That's the thing about guys like Kevin Hart. You end up getting sued or suing your closest friends, because there's so much money. That's why I have just, like I say, I crawl my way to the middle, I'm staying right there. Nobody wants shit from me.

You're saying we're short-sighted of Kevin to grab the fame ring? Oh, there it is. There it is again. And even if they put him on the stand, you're not going to see him. You have to stand, sir, while your hand is on the bi-am. But if I had him on the stand, I'm like, all right, hold on. First of all, I think you're yet a victim again. You clearly couldn't get it up that night. Yeah. And you somehow are painting it as your defense

that you spent the night with her. And then I just want to be sure of what I heard, Mr. Hart, that in the morning, when you're no longer under the influence of drugs, that's when you decided to sleep with her. Yeah. I think you messed up there. You should have been judgment impaired on drugs when you made that decision. I mean, look, at the end of the day, the story's coming out.

Why not tell the real story that it was a three-way the night before on Molly? You know? Yeah. If you want to be a legend, tell the real story that it was a three way the night before on Mali? You know? Yeah. You want to be a legend, tell the story. So weird. Let's get to this is good. Brandon Thomas Lee was kicked out of a fancy country club. It's Tommy Lee's son, Pamela Anderson's son as well. And he got into a

shouting match with a fellow member on the golf course. Apparently BTL was driving too close to the green when a member who lives on the course spotted him. The guy wanted to document the violation, started filming him, and then Brandon started yelling and the guy sent the videotape to the club's board and apparently that was the last straw because multiple people at the country club say that Brandon was rude to the staff at the club and on top of this incident that was enough for the club to yank his membership. Wow.

I mean, I wonder when things in his life got weird. The kid. Yeah maybe it was like 24 years ago when when both his parents got shit-faced on a yacht and taped his conception. There's a creation myth for you like hey what's up man yeah I saw you I saw your mom get pregnant with your dad. I'm a newborn. Tommy Lee loves golf, so we can't say who. Do you know about this story? So- No. First hand, this is a first hand story.

He loved playing golf and somehow the golf course that used to be up in the Malibu Hills, which some rich guy bought and closed. But there used to be, I think, a nine hole course. Did you ever play it? No. It was in the hills. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

It was called Malibu Country Club. It was something like that, yeah. Yeah, it was very hilly. But it was public. And yeah, so anyway, Tommy's playing. And a friend who we know is playing with him. And he sinks this really long putt and they're completely wasted he sinks this really long putt and goes oh no way

like holds it like you know celebrating and going crazy and then he pulls out a lighter and it's this beautiful wooden putter apparently and he turns it and then flips this little lid revealing it's a pipe. The putter is a pipe and lights up a bowl at the end and sucks through the handle in this super long putter pipe. And then they pass it around like it's like some Native American sort of wampum. It's not wampum, what would it be? Like anyway a peace

pipe and wampum is money I think. Anyway and that story is true. Allegedly. I guess I should add allegedly. I wonder if you took two hits. Was it a two putt? Yeah exactly. Mine would be a three putt that's how I roll yeah oh my god that's amazing yeah I love when rock stars get into got like you know who's like a three handicap or he was I know Cooper yes Cooper I've heard that he lived on the course of the Biltmore in Phoenix which is like a legendary golf course love it all's go to Florida. Make America Florida, here we go. Speaking of golf.

I just loved this headline. It's not the greatest story, but I love the headline. Florida man accused of running big Ponzi scheme, buying big boat. I mean, what a Florida headline. Normally the headline ends with like, is convicted or has been assigned probation or is going to jail, something, nope, buying big boat. And it's so childish.

It's kind of like another like man who stole car getting big ice cream cone. So this guy had a hedge fund and it was a pyramid scheme or he had a pyramid scheme I don't know if it was a hedge fund and he has spending habits the article said were typically Floridian last October he transferred 3.1 million from the JP Morgan account for a yacht called Stillwater and then 2 million from and 2 million of that came from investors' funds. He later renamed the boat Livmore. Then he spent $320,000 on clothing, jewelry, and beauty treatments.

He spent $70 on Diamonds Direct, $76,000 on Louis Vuitton. Sounds like Spendmore. $7,800 on DripIV. You know what that is? No. For partying, like you order the IV to come your house, spent almost $8,000 on that in St. Petersburg, Florida. He spent considerable funds on luxury travel and vacations, including at least $4.6 million on chartering jets and luxury car services. Wow. Yep. Damn.

And then he spent 750,000 on automobile-related, including 92,000 on a Jaguar. Meanwhile, I spent a chunk of my kids' college fund on a used Mustang, so I don't feel as bad. It's very important that used is in there. Yes. It really is. Yes. All right, let's make Sturgis flow.

Finally, finally. So a lot's been going on and we took a week off. So Sturgis happened and I just thought of it today. So I looked it up. So the 84th Sturgis happened. And I just thought of it today, so I looked it up. So the 84th Sturgis Motorcycle Rally has come and gone. Over nine hectic days, the police department has kept a record of phone calls and crimes. And now we can look back and have a look

at the overall crime trend. The 84th Rally had a 13.27% higher rate of drug arrests than the 83rd. Additionally, there were twice as many assaults and 64.7% more drivers with no insurance. Sadly, 12 motorcyclists died on the road. 10 of the people killed in the crashes were driving Harley-Davidson's and two were riding other kinds of motorcycles. I could have done that math. Two of those who died were from South Dakota, others from Iowa, Tennessee, blah, blah, blah. Three of the 12 were wearing a

helmet. Three. Only three were wearing a helmet while seven were not that's not really the math Oh two died out of town. Sorry two died out of town. So the math is a little off And then I read some of the Sturgis stats. Let me go get these for you Here we go Let's see here Anyway, all of them are as you'd expect but Where the fuck? Oh my god that thing. Sorry it updated. I

Wanted to see you wouldn't believe of course. They're all old guys the fucking thing Updated because it's a newspaper. I had it up here And they're all on Harley-Davidson's and they are all over 60 years old. Maybe we can do that on the next podcast if we want where I typically read. They were all over 60? Well, the two who died who were not on Harleys were younger. But all the ones on Harleys were over 60 years old. It's the typical thing, they lose control of their vehicle, they go over the yellow lines, they run into cars, they cannot negotiate turns, so I'll try to find these things again. It's crazy. Wow. Yeah. I wonder what it costs to insure a Harley if you live in South Dakota.

And if you're over 60. Yeah. And if you don't wear a helmet. I bet you you have to tell the insurance company whether you wear a helmet. I don't think you do. Cause any day you could just be like, I forgot it at home.

There's a new thing now where insurance companies, well, the car companies will tap into a safety log on your car. And the insurance company will say to you, we will give you a 15% discount if you allow us access to your driving activities, which lets them literally tell access to your driving activities, which lets them literally tell how many times you had abrupt stops, how many times you sped, how many times you turned fast, and they will drop you, and you won't be able to get insurance from anybody else because they'll know why they dropped you. And people are opting in for this discount? Well, I remember I think my, I leased an Acura SUV and they would all of a sudden tell me things like,

oh, you're at this mileage, it's time for your check. Yeah. And I'm like, I didn't realize I was being monitored. Right. So. Oh yeah. I probably unwittingly didn't go out of my way to tell them not to do that. All right. Let's go to some sports sports.

Here we go. Sports, sports, sports. There's only one sports story we're looking at this weekend. If you're listening to this on Sunday, I don't know where it's going to stand. But we're on Friday night. And my cousin, Danny McCarthy, is currently in the lead at a major tournament the st. Jude's it's a FedEx tournament all the big players are there and he's he's in the lead so we'll see where it is on Sunday he sometimes struggles on the weekends he he might it's very hard to keep a lead,

but we'll see where he's at. We wish him well, good luck, fingers crossed. Come on Danny, this is the one. We were talking about him today, man. I guess he eagled one of the holes. Really? Yeah. Oh, speaking of that, so I just got a text from a guy you know who I worked with at CBS.

He happened to be at Penn Mar and he goes, oh, I'm here thinking about you. Maybe coffee soon. Fine. Just got an update three minutes ago. Just ran into your friend Dennis who's on mushrooms and got an eagle on four. That's the best Dennis update. That's good news for governments. Well, I should have done it. We should have had a good news for governments. Now, just so people know, four is the easiest hole in the course. It's a very short par four. It's drivable if you hit your absolute best

drive and there's wind behind your back. So he may have gotten it like to the fringe. No, he sent a picture. He drove the green. He did? Yeah. Wow. And he made the putt. Yeah, I got that. Yeah, that was a big one. I got that update earlier. Then he sent other updates where the shrooms weren't,

we're not affecting his play in that way it went the other way well on his morning round we played this morning with him and he was even par he part every single hole no birdies no bogeys boring yeah let's go should we do international we got I think let's skip that one about the college kids. Let's go down to International. Done. We're already all the way down there. The School of Management and Business at the Vietnam National University in Hanoi

believes the connection between height and success is so significant that people who are supposedly too short University in Hanoi believes the connection between height and success is so significant that people who are supposedly too short should no longer be allowed to study. The school announced that female students must be at least 1.58 meters tall and male students at least 1.65 meters. How big is that? 1.65 meters. To be considered for admission this year I think it's 5 2 well a meter is a meter I think is 33 inches I think so all right what is it 1.6 meters 1.65 meters hey Siri how tall is 1.65 meters it is 5.4 feet.

5.41 feet. So 40% of a foot is 3 inches. So it's 5 foot 3 inches. Right? I don't know. 5.4? Yeah, it would be about 5. No, yeah.

Yeah, 4 is 40%. 40% of 12 is three. Perfect. It's 5.41. So anyway, forget the height. If I'm back in college, I'm keeping out the fat chicks. Am I right? How about at like a weight limit?

Who cares about height? Ha ha ha. So I wrote a joke here. I don't understand my joke. Did you change the setup? There was something written in there. Literally this is what I wrote. I thought that said black.

Oh, because I think I read your joke if I was back in college. And I'm like, I thought your premise was if I was black in college. No, it'd be the opposite. You want some ass. Well, listen, this is what I will say. Einstein and Stephen Hawking, they were both five seven. No, Stephen Hawking was three'4". True, true. Yeah, I would say that's a real case of he was 5'7 on a good day. Yeah, yeah. That's never more true.

All right, let's go down to, this is a good one, Science and Tech. What are we doing? Science, tech. Sure, let's do it. I'm not sure why I put this story in this section, but I'm gonna let you read it, because it's close to your heart. You may have to skim a little bit, it's long.

The collapse? Yeah. The collapse. Were you just there? Well, kind of. I was in Arches National Park. The headline is The Collapse of Double Arch, one of Utah's majestic geologic arches stunned park visitors and deprived the state of a popular natural landmark forever. But geologists say its demise was inevitable. So the impressive structure that long grew. Anyway, you don't have to read it. I just I thought it's interesting that you literally just texted me as you were driving through

that park, have you ever been to Arches? It's the most incredible place I've ever seen. So this particular one though was super famous and it was in Glen Canyon National Recreation Area in southern Utah. So it's down closer, believe it or not, to Zion, where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid shot. And did we follow up on that, by the way? Yes, we got emails that that was in fact true, that the jump into the river took place up in Malibu. You know, I think we're gonna have to say

we were both right on this. None of the real film was shot there. For instance, Robert Redford and Newman never ever shot in Malibu for that movie. But the river was too shallow, the one in Utah or Colorado, I think it was Durango. And so what they did is they shot an insert with some stunt doubles.

Oh, okay. And they used a plate to color in the background mountains and those guys jumped into that river in Malibu. Okay, got it. All right. So it's a win-win. I think we're both right because technically Malibu appears in the film. Yeah. All right, let's go down to this day in history. This day in history. Here we go. Slim Pickens, man. It's summer. It's boring, but let's see what we got. Nothing good happens in the summer. No. The 19th Amendment was ratified ratified after Tennessee by just one vote became the 36th state to approve women having the right to vote, which is about the time the world went to shit. So on what in what year on this day was the 19th amendment ratified.

Give or take seven years. Women got the right to vote, I'm going to say 1923. Very good, 1920. Nice! And women, black men were allowed to vote before women. That's right, I know. So white women can't be taking that too well. Yeah, well, and you know the black men probably voted

that the women not be allowed to vote. Yeah, I hope so. Although they like white women. I think I can safely say that. I think they just voted that that. They can say- I think they just voted that bitches not be allowed to vote. According to, we're just gonna do this because it's on my brain.

According to lore, more than 200 outlaws from regional gangs gathered at Brown's Hole in the American West where Butch Cassidy proposed to organize a train robbers syndicate, which became known as the Wild Bunch. What year was this, give or take 10 years? 1848. No, it was more recent.

I think that's a good guess though. 1896. Jesus. Yeah. Okay. Let me find. Didn't we just do a Butch Cassidy date recently? We sure did. That's why I didn't give you much of a range on that. I found some other ones. Hold on. I had to go down to other days here. You'll get the Hitler one. French fashion designer Coco Chanel, the Hitler one French fashion designer Coco Chanel with her elegantly casual creations ruled over Parisian couture for almost six decades. Well she was born on this day in

what year give or take 15 years. Coco Chanel born in 19 this. 1924. No, because she was fucking Nazis in the 30s. Yeah, but you know, they liked them young, the Nazis. They liked meth and little girls. 1883. What? That's older than I thought. Oh my God, because I was picturing her at runways in the 1970s. Because I don't know, I sort of think of Chanel, Coco Chanel.

So in 1933, that would put her at 50, right? But she was already established when she started hooking up with Nazis and then actually doing work for them and asking for a meeting with Churchill and asking for some sympathy on behalf of the Nazis. But anyway, if you haven't seen Bill Burr at Red Rocks, he goes into this a little bit. It is worth checking out.

The Coco Chanel and why she is not canceled. If they're canceling dead people, why not cancel her? Okay, we're going to get one more here. You ready? Yeah. One more. We're coming down to... I don't want to do that one.

Do you have any idea when... Sure, we'll do this. American comedian actor Jerry Lewis died at 91 years old on this day in what year, give or take five years? 98 years ago would have been 2020 1926 I'm gonna say 1926 No, no, no, well, okay, you have to do a little more math he died on this day He died in that day. All right, I, seven years ago, I think he died in 2015. Wait, what was your original thing? 26? Yeah. Oh, no, that would have been just off, I think 19. He was 2017. What did I say? You said 2015. Ultimately, with your weird math. Well you know my father hosted Jerry Lewis telethon in New York.

The Jerry Lewis telethon was a very big deal in New York. I don't know if it was that big in every other city but everybody watched it. It was 24 hours. It was on Labor Day. No it was like 36 hours and it was on Labor Day weekend and Jerry Lewis would host 45 minutes of every hour and then they would go to the local stations for 15 minutes of the hour where they also had Vegas had their own Jerry Lewis telethon filming Los Angeles Chicago like every city had their own and my father was the host of the New York section of the Jro- So he got to meet Jerry Lewis many times, and mostly had good things to say about him. He was a huge narcissist.

I mean, the ego on this guy was legendary. And he would always steal more time from the local affiliates so he could sing like another song. And it got so sad at the end. And people started making jokes like Jesus Christ cuz they would raise 50 70 million dollars here's like when are they gonna fix these fucking kids Jesus how much money can we throw at this by the way your year was exactly on the nose you said he was born in 1926. And I was right?

That would put a 91-year-old dying in 2017. Wow. I'm on fire with the numbers today. I did the conversion of metric to feet in Korea. Or what city was that? You just thought of the countries down, that's all. All right, what are we doing next? All right, let's do a little merch plug don't forget koozie's still available go to

FitzDawg.com summer's still hot folks cool down those tricks. I am getting them out. $10 delivered to your door no extra fees. Let's do some obituaries. Here we go some obituaries. Well they're always sad, but it was sad to see Gina Rollins, but she lived to a ripe old age of 94, and they call her a Hollywood legend and notebook actor. I like that, that they separate that from legendary Hollywood notebook. Her most celebrated role was as a manic housewife who was institutionalized

in A Woman Under the Influence from 1974, which was directed by Cassavetes. Do you know, I've never really checked out, I've never seen, I mean, I think I've seen them, but Cassavetes movies. And I know they're legends. Gloria is incredible. Such a strong... I believe she got the Oscar for Gloria. I'm wondering. Didn't she do Woody Allen? She did Woody Allen movies too. So, that's what I might do

is go check out some cast of Eddie's. She was married to him and stayed married to him right through till he died. I think he died. No shit, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

He died a while, like 20 years ago though. She was a bad ass strong woman. All right, then we're also remembering you emailed this famous Amos. Never heard of him. He died, what? Never heard of him. Died at 88 and I put this in here because I always knew, I remember, I forget what year I found out,

he had such an interesting story. So listen to this, Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies, right? So after a four year stint in the US Air Force where he was stationed in Hawaii, which is where he lived and died at the end. He returned to New York in 1957. He spent the ensuing years working in the stock room at Saks Fifth Avenue, and then

he moved over to the mail room at the prestigious William Morris Talon Agency. In 62, following a number of promotions, Amos became the first black talon agent in the history of the William Morris Agency. Wow. Determined to make his mark by signing a blockbuster act, his tenacity was rewarded, get this, when he discovered Simon and Garfunkel. No way. The singing duo better known.

The cookie guy. He also helped sign the Supremes. What? Yes. He also helped sign the Supremes. And over the next few years, Amos headed the agency's newly formed rock and roll department where he worked with Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye, and Sam Cooke. In 67, Amos left the William Morris Agency, moved to LA where he struggled to set up his

own personal management company. Burdened with the debt of his failing business, Amos began to take comfort in baking chocolate chip cookies. Quote, I began to bake as a hobby, he told the New York Times. It was kind of therapy. He started bringing the cookies along to business meetings and their popularity wasn't lost upon him. Amos saw an opportunity to leave the talent agent industry through his cookies.

Using a modified version of his Aunt Delia's recipe, he planned to open a freestanding cookie store with financial backing, get this, from Marvin Gaye and Helen Reddy, as well as an innovative marketing initiative that included an extensive advertising campaign and a gala grand opening. The first famous Amos Cookie store opened on Sunset Boulevard in 1975. Within months, 38-year-old Amos had opened two more West Coast locations and the New York based Bloomingdale's department store had begun selling the gourmet cookies. Oh my god. How cool a story is that? That's amazing. I mean I feel like we're missing chapter three here or act three to the story. I mean it went

huge. I mean, famous Amos is like one of the biggest cookies in history. Oh, no, there is an act three. Act three, it faltered, right? And I'm like, Oh, what you know, it's probably because so many corporate guys just like what's happened in Hollywood now, got in and screwed it up. He took the blame. He goes, when it started screwing up is when I then took full charge of it. And he goes, I am not a businessman, I'm a promoter. Yeah. And he owned it.

And then the company was bought by, who owns the elves, the Keebler elves? Nabisco. Might've been General Mills. Yeah. I'm doing this from memory, but it was bought by a giant company that kept it going They read they successfully got it back to its six, you know its previous brand

notoriety and Not notoriety. I'm getting tired here. Anyway, they got it back to its previous You know brand image and they kept selling it He remained on the board, remained a spokesperson. And then one of the great things he did is, he, in any of the famous Amos locations he'd go to, there was a reading room, because literacy was his biggest cause, and he, every Sunday in the Y store,

would read to children. Really? Yep. I just looked up his net worth. It said that the company sold for $63 million. So I don't know how much of that ended up in his pocket. But they were the first like crisp cookie I ever tasted. Oh my God, his net worth was $20,000 that is when he died. No.

That's what it says here it says uh apart from being the mastermind behind the cookie company he gained recognition for being the author of books such as Power in You and The Watermelon Credo. Wally's net worth stood at $20,000 at the time of death. He just must have blown all his money. It sounds like you should have more money than that just from signing Simon and Garfunkel. I know, I know. How many people took money out of this guy's pocket?

Jesus. It's amazing. This business, I gotta tell you something. This fucking business, you know, just in dealing with selling, you know, you've produced shows and been on staffs and looked at budgets. There was one show that you were on, I won't mention what it was, where the stars manager, the management company was a producer, his agent was packaging it, the production company was just, which is a non, which is just a bunch

of guys saying we own part of the show. And by the time the money trickled down to the show, you barely had any money left for writers. And I remember saying to the star, I go, do you know what your manager is making on this? Because the manager made almost as much as the star. Yeah. And also, of course, also took an EP credit. He would just show up on show night and slap some backs. I made the fatal career mistake of raising the conversation because the star to his credit also said, why don't we approach him and say, hey, on this deal, because we're a struggling

show and for what you could give back, we could get at least two more writers or three more writers in the writers' room full-time. And why don't I pay you the standard 15% or something? Because the manager was making so much more than that because he packaged the show. And holy shit, did I get in trouble for doing that. Yeah, I remember that. That hurt your career. Oh, big time. Yeah, the agency, everyone even it was my agency, who's supposed to represent me. They're like, Gibbons did what? And that's

what this business is now. It used to be that there were a few, you know, a good amount of suits, but not that much. And then 90 percent of it was creative people trying to break into this business, moving out here, all that. I think now it's the other way around. I think 90 percent of the people trying to make it entertainment are suits. Well, just look at the trying to ride the backs of 10 percent of people who actually are creative. Look at the credits on a TV show. I mean, they play the opening titles and then

executive producer, executive producer, you will see 12 executive producers and guess what? Eight of those people don't even show up to set. They just were able to leverage a title because you know, they just get they get their hands in the pot and all the money gets sucked out and that's why the quality is so bad. That's why we're gonna change it Mike! We're gonna start TV shows that go straight to the internet and people donate money to. At Midnight has 14 executive producers. Two of those are Stephen Colbert and Stephen Colbert's wife. Wow, amazing.

Well, Ladderman was a producer on Killborn and Ferguson, right? Yeah, he fucking owned the hour. Colbert no longer owns that hour. He doesn't own that hour. They got rid of that deal. Right. And also he, World Wide Pants,

that was the name on my check. They ran the show. Yep, yep. It was Robert, what's his name? Yeah. Wow, why am I? Forgetting his name. He gave me my David Letterman jacket.

He's been on the podcast. He took the place of Morty, who I've worked for also. Yeah. All right, let's get to, who I've worked for also. Yeah. All right, let's get to it. Oh, no, because it's Rob. Everyone calls him Rob. What is it? Oh, Rob.

Yeah, yeah. He threw me off. But I'm forgetting his name still. He listens to the podcast. This is embarrassing. He's going to be on there. No. Yes, of course he does.

He lives in Connecticut. He's the best. I always had a really good time with him, actually. He'd come out. We'd go out to dinner with Kilbourne. I was Kilborn's buffer. All right let's get to the funnies. Let's cheer up a little bit. Rob Burnett. Rob Burnett, there we go. And I did not look it up. Funnies, let's do it. All right let's start right with the Lock Horns. We got Loretta walks in the door, she's taking off her coat. Leroy standing there she goes, good news the check engine bulb finally burned out. I like it. And now we've got her standing there holding

a tray and Leroy is peering surreptitiously out the window and he goes it's the Lenhart's. They called our bluff about the dinner invitation. I like this couple. All right, here we go. You guys are not gonna like this. So I went and found the, was it the fourth? What did I say it was? The fifth.

Fifth, okay. And it is, you ready for this? Garfield. We're gonna do 10 Garfields, everybody. And I got this list, it's the same place that made the other list, so here's number 10. And these are the 10 best Garfield comic strips of all time.

So, you have to forgive me, Garfield's the cat, right? But I don't know the owner's name. So here we go. Odie. You don't know that really, do you? Yeah, it's Odie. You're just gonna make me look like a fool, I'm gonna say Odie?

It's Odie. So Odie has a box in front of him and there's an alarm clock, it's on a tray. And he goes, ahem. There's three frames. In the second frame, Odie's wide-eyed, and he's like, whoa! And Garfield is standing on the table next to him, I think.

And then the third and final frame, Odie yells, Garfield, stop giving the dog coffee! And Garfield goes, I have a three mile leash So no idea what that means, uh-huh. Do you have any? So I Can't even guess what this is about. Whoa, and this is number 10. Garfield, stop giving the dog coffee. He's yelling it. Is Garfield in the same room?

And also he's yelling, he's looking one way, then he's looking the other way. Garfield switches sides. The framing is all fucked up. Okay, I think he caught Garfield giving the dog coffee in the first frame. Now there's something going on with the alarm clock. They probably have a dog. They have to wake up an alarm clock and habitual readers might know what that means.

Maybe that's my guess. And then they're like, whoa, and I think the dog ran by. And now he's yelling, but Garfield's behind him. Is that an artistic technique that they employ where it's two frames in one, but they make it look like the same frame? Anyway, I'm gonna love these. Dagwood's sitting on his chair.

It's a different colored chair this week. I think they reupholstered. Oh, it's white. He's gonna get food all over it. Don't we know that? He's not gonna colored chair this week. I think they reupholstered. Oh, it's white. He's going to get food all over it. Don't we know that? He's not going to get cum on it. He's got a newspaper in his hands. And he says, wow, it says this week set a record-breaking heat index.

Blondie has her back to him, as she should. She's reading a book, hopefully like Leaving Your Husband for Idiots. And he goes, it reminds me. I'd better make sure of something. And she goes, it reminds me, I'd better make sure of something. And she goes, what's that, dear? And he opens the freezer and he goes, that our ice cream index is higher. Okay, how about this?

How about that makes, that reminds me, I better make sure of something. What's that, dear? And he goes, that I get your fucking clothes off and on that couch in a few minutes. That's the index that gets to be higher. All right we did not have a comic for you guys to caption last week. I just forgot to do it. I've been a little slammed. This week's caption. And

again if you go to our YouTube page which is Greg Fitz, I think it's called Greg Fitz comedy or Greg Fitzsimmons comedy. Just look me up on YouTube. You can watch this podcast, you can look at this frame of a comic, or I can describe it to you. There is a plane, there's a gentleman who looks a little bit frazzled and he's sitting next to a boy who looks like he's about three. The boy is crying and screaming and the stewardess points to the boy but is talking to the man and says, I don't know what you tell us. Is the man also kind of gesturing out the window? I wouldn't read into that. OK. I mean, if you want to look at the cartoon and make that a part of your

caption, that would be fantastic. But I think for the people that are just going with the description, you can just know that she's pointing at the screaming kid and the guy looks like he looks worried. I think this is what my caption would be off the top. First impulse, which is never good. This is what you want to use to break that window and throw him out?

Cause it looks like he's like, can I throw this kid out the window? Yeah. And she's like, this screaming kid? All right, we'll see. People will do better than that, I'm sure. All right, you'll do something good. And then we want to remind you guys

that look for my social media on Tuesday. Very big announcement coming. I'm very excited about. Also, don't forget to go to, what do you want to plug, Mike? Boy, I'll tell you what I'm enjoying. I just finished season three of The Wire, and- Why are all your viewing habits from like the 90s?

That's like that Jim Gaffigan joke, like I want to talk about Heat now. He just saw the movie Heat. So first season of The Wire is, some people say the best season of a TV show in history. No season four. Oh that's the one at the schools? In the schools. So I just did the one on the streets where they set up a safe zone, hamster dam, where the cops would not prosecute you or arrest you or bust you and drugs were basically legalized so anyway it was really but a giant thing

happens in the final episode I won't say what but I'm very much enjoying the wire say what it wrapped up 20 years ago there's a lot of people like me and this is a big thing but there's a lot of people like me who it's on their bucket list. Okay well get to it can't recommend it enough what a bingey show that is you can watch episode after episode the story just drives all the way through the season. But it's like a novel they spend a lot of time on character yeah I don't I don't think you're even your. I don't think, even your kids I don't think could do it. My kids certainly couldn't. I think they need more immediate gratification.

By the way, you know that guy has a Scottish accent? The guy who plays the lead? I think it's British, right? Oh, sorry. The white guy. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, there's a lot of Brits and oh my God, what a show. I mean, you know, you talk about the whole movement TV aggressively getting more diverse in 2023. Go check out The Wire. Yeah, I know the most incredibly diverse and let's just say it like the it's the cast is mostly minority mostly black and they're the most extraordinary actors like it was just such a good show on every level. Gay, they've got gays in there, they got cross-dressed, they got everything. You'd love it. No. All right, let's wrap it up. Mike, great episode. And thank you guys for listening. We'll talk to you it's online or paperback. Everybody is waiting to see what Greg and Mike have got for us this week. Take me back to the Sunday Papers podcast. I won't ask To the Sunday Papers podcast I won't ask If it's online or paperback

Everybody's waiting to see There might be stories but it's all news to me Take me back To the Sunday Papers podcast I won't ask If it's on my paperback Everybody is waiting to see What Greg and Mike have got for us this week Take me back