Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 235 10/13/24

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

People are getting blown a lot in FLA, Spirit Air kicks 2 women off a flight for wearing crop tops and Dr Dre is threatening his marriage counselor. Oh yeah and Steven Tyler is black.Support our Sponsor: Gametime.co download the app, use code: papersWatch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Thanks to Heil Sound for the new microphones https://heilsound.comEmail caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Read all about it, read all about it, almost didn't make it to press today. Yeah. Jesus Christ almighty. The delivery guy was running late on his little moped. Well your time isn't exactly flexible. Why can't you do it at all tomorrow? Well, because I plan on doing it today, so I spent the day getting ready

and then blocked out the afternoon. So tomorrow I was gonna go to the Bob Dylan Museum, the Tulsa Massacre Museum, I'm taking a tour of a famous studio down here called the Church Studio. So I got a full day and I'm going with my friend Dion. And then I got two shows tomorrow night. So I mean, what do you want me to do? Should I cancel all my plans? The Trauma Museum? What museum was one of them?

It's Trauma. It's free for black people, $150,000 for white people. Seems fair. Now, you know the Tulsa massacre, right? Oh, my God. No, we looked at it. I mean, haven't you already seen it? No. Did you see it?

We went. Wait, you were there with us at the Springsteen show. Yes, I went to the Dylan Museum. I went to the Springsteen show, but I did not go to the. We toured the area. Yeah. Did you go to the museum though? Museum was closed. You're sitting there acting like you went to the museum and I didn't. No, no, but you just asked me if I know about the massacre. I literally saw the storefronts.

I saw all the memorializations in the sidewalk and all that. Yeah, it was bad. This was back in about, what, about 18, no, 19 maybe. 1920, 1930? I should put that on this day in history. There was what they call Black Wall Street here in Tulsa. It was a thriving black city. And then a bunch of Nazis, Klansmen, etc. came in and they fucking burnt their city to the ground. Hundreds of

people died. They literally destroyed the entire town. No, it's terrible. Brother-in-law George grew up in Tulsa, not mentioned in any of the history classes in Tulsa schools. I never knew about it. I'm a highly educated man. I went to Boston University. Yes. And they didn't mention it.

No, no, it's absolutely terrible. Yeah, it's terrible. And so anyway, I'm gonna go see that maybe, maybe not at the end of the day, because then I got to do shows. We both sandwiched that in the middle of the day. Anyway, yeah, Tulsa's great. It's the city that we visited last year.

I'm telling my son Owen to move here. I think it's like a, I think it's the next Austin. It's just really cool downtown, coffee shops and micro breweries. They got a whole park right on the river that they just developed. I know, yeah it is, it is very cool. I think it's a rough winter, right? No, it's not that bad. They said they get about a foot of snow a year. No, I'm not talking about snow, but I mean, I think it's pretty,

it's like no one would call a Nebraska winter nice, but I don't think Nebraska is like talking about how much snow they get. So I think it's similar to that. Yeah, but that's good for him. He lived in Chicago for four years, come on. Oh, it's true. Come on. What's going on with lived in Chicago for four years. Come on. Oh, it's true. Come on

What's going on with you you're in Nashville Nashville and my dad rode out the storm So he stayed in Florida because it really it didn't look like it would I mean, I think blackouts Although that didn't even happen but power outages and all that and terrible rain. But anyway, he turned out to be fine. Okay, so this is what he writes. This is on Monday, right? Hi, family. Hope all of you are well. And this is to my sister and I and then my two kids and her two kids. Hope you're all well. I'm waiting for the hurricane to hit Florida. I have not been asked to evacuate, and if I am asked, I have nowhere to go. So I will stay in the building.

I have water, but no food. I will lose electric TV, cell and Internet, but not until late Wednesday or Thursday. I will stay in touch. Keep your eye on the will love. All right. So that's what he says, right? George being the nicest and always first to respond. Brother-in-law George from Tulsa, stay safe. Carat, one of the kids, oh my gosh.

Then my kid, Sophie, yes, please keep in touch. Grandpa, a heart. And then finally, cause I was late to it, but I would finally, my sister, Laura sounds like a cry for attention. You know, it's you give it out, you get it back, you know, that if that's the kind of parenting you did, that's the kind of grandparenting you get back. And then my kid goes, aunt Laura, and Laura's like, it's Monday, he can go get back. And then my kid goes, aunt Laura. And Laura's like, it's Monday, he can go get food.

And then my kid sounds like Laura should be out of the will. That's great. Yeah, my mom who lives about 20 minutes from your father and about three tax brackets beneath. I call her and I'm like, so are you saying, it never comes here. You know, these weathermen, they're just like doctors. Like they spend a lot of money on their education

and now we're all supposed to pay them back. It's not going to hit. And so I was like, what's that noise? And she goes, oh, the superintendent is rolling the steel folding thing in front of my window. Oh, okay. So I guess there's nothing to be worried about. Well, you're being really safe.

Is that just a Tuesday thing every Tuesday? Yeah. Yeah. And then she goes out, my mom, if you're a car salesman in Florida, look up Mrs. Fitzsimmons because she will take care of you. She gets these 18 month deals on new cars where 18 months is the worst lease you can possibly get.

You're literally paying all of their expenses upfront. And then she trades it in and she gets another 18 month. And I try to talk to her about it. I'll talk to you next time. And then she'll call me on her way back from the dealership. Got a new car! Oh. Yeah.

I know, I had a friend that'd go in and then I'm like, and it was like, no matter, you don't leave, you're not buying a car today, you're shopping. That's what you're doing. You're not buying a car. And then all of a sudden it's like, I'm in it. It's like, oh, I can't even imagine what you signed. Can't even imagine what you signed.

And especially for guys like us, I am very, not like you, but I am very cost conscious. I try to keep a lid on things around the house. I try to make sure I'm getting the best possible deal on, I'm constantly buying airline tickets, always on a Tuesday at 11 o'clock at night. And I go through different aggregator sites and, and then, my mom will be like,

call me, she calls me two weeks ago. No, what did I say? Two days ago. She's like, yeah, I'm buying my tickets for Thanksgiving to come out and see you. Oh, you mean the biggest travel day of the year? You're gonna buy them a month in advance? And so I'm trying to find her flights

that are less than like 800 bucks from Florida round trip. Yeah, no, I mean, well, you just went through it, but it's like now Olivia's like, oh, here's the Thanksgiving flights I found from Boston. Oh, I'm sure there's not a lot of people in Boston trying to leave and fly out for Thanksgiving break. Yeah, I know. And I have all these miles because I fly so much and I've my credit cards all hooked up to mileage plans and I also am the king of signing up for the 80,000 free points and spending 3,000 of the free. I do that. I cycle through credit cards. I literally keep the card for six months after I get my bonus. I cancel it and then I get a

new one a year later. I wait a year and I get another American one. So I've constantly cycling through every airline. I've got, Mike, I've got millions of miles. Banked. Wow, still. But I never use them because it's always a holiday when I'm traveling with the, like I don't use them for business

because I write off my flights on my income. So it doesn't make sense for me to use miles for business. Right, right. And so I save them for when I'm traveling with the family. With the family, it's always a holiday when it's like literally quadruple, if not more, the amount of points that you need. So I don't wanna use them all up.

So I'll die with millions of points. Maybe I can donate them to charity or something. You know that, I mean, not to be a travel podcast all of a sudden, but that you never like, you transfer them to the airline and you get way more bang for your buck than like using Amex's portal. Who are you talking to?

Right, okay, gotcha, gotcha. You transfer them to British Airways because British Airways is the best port. If you're flying international, British Airways is partnered with almost all of the international airlines, and they have this special thing where you, it's literally about 30% of what you'd spend

if you went straight from your credit card. Yeah. Anyway. Let's move this along. Let's move it along. We don't have a lot of time today. Mike sadly got caught up fixing his moped. And what's wrong with it, by the way?

What was the hold up? I'll just keep it really brief. Fine. 500 mile chat. I bought it, right? Guy only put 300 miles on it. So anyway, I got a sweetheart of a deal. It's a motorcycle. It's a 400. It's based on the old Honda's anyway. Is it Chinese? Yes. Okay. Just want to point that out. I was raving about this thing. So anyway, the guy I got it from, and this is also popped up another time in my life, you can't let the tire pressure get too low. Hannah did that and all of a sudden the guy's like, you know, they can't, they won't touch it then he's like, no, this tire is damaged. You wrote on it too low. Like it has to be replaced and we can't touch it because then

we could maybe be liable. Well, this guy let his go and it was like, what, like kind of like, even though I filled it back up, it was wobbling a little. So out of round. So anyway, that that'd be a lesson. All the listeners, uh, always keep your tire pressure where it's supposed to be because now I'm now whatever, I have to get a new tire, but that's all. And it just could be unsafe. Not a big deal on a motorcycle where there's only two tires. We have had people, by the way, can I just talk about my life?

I started off this year and my new year's resolution was, just say yes, just get out of the midlife rut and whatever fun thing, if Tom O'Neill texts me from the beach at nine o'clock on a Sunday night and he's at Venice Beach on one of his famous crawls where he fills up a giant plastic cup full of vodka and he wanders around talking to homeless people and he invites me, just go, don't say, I'm tired,

I'm in the middle of this fucking series. Just, so I did that and I had a really good first few months and then I realized like me and Aaron were down and we're walking through the marina on Sunday. And there was this big like bongo setup. There was like a bunch of bongo drums and tambourines and shit. And there was like three like OG Venice hippies

sitting there and there was some kind of a city sponsored event they were having where it was gonna be like a drum circle. But there was only two people there. And they were like, hey, you guys wanna join in? It's free. And I was like, I looked at Erin and she was like, I don't really wanna, and I went, all right.

And I just walked away. And it fucking haunted me for three days. I didn't play the bongo drums and I realized it's a good just say no. I think that was a good one. Maybe those dirty, dirty hippies, those bongos. I would have gotten. Yeah, I would have gotten sickle cell anemia on my fingers. Interesting. No, but I want to go back to saying yes more. I'm realizing I'm falling into a rut again.

It's time to say yes. Well, that's my advice to the kids. I'm like, listen, you know, everything, and even the students I'm teaching, it's like when in doubt, go out. Everything's a lottery ticket. You gotta get as many tickets, you know, you can, and hopefully one of them gets lucky

and it leads to a job, or it leads to something, or another person you're gonna meet that will lead to a job. Right, like Owen just got asked to be in a soccer league, and so he's like, all right, it's Wednesday night, it's late, but he goes, it's coed, and he's like, and the women are gorgeous.

I was like, see, say yes. It seems pretty easy to say yes to women at night, good looking women at night. That one seems like it doesn't take much thought, right? Well, I didn't mention they're probably mostly lesbians. It's soccer. We wanna thank our logo maker this week, Rob Moore, who sends us more and more of these, which we always appreciate.

This is a classic old, what is that? I don't know. It's like a toy doll set. Obviously I've got the hat and the glasses and you're the one with the frizzy hair. We got a cigarette out there. I know you're planning to start smoking, so maybe he's right. It's got a microphone. It's got magic mushroom chocolates.

It's got coffee. It's got medication. So it's the podcast playset. The song this week from DJ Seaweed. And I'm just thinking as I say DJ Seaweed, by the way, great one. This is a really very cool theme song. I'm realizing that I think he wanted me

to refer to him as something else. So DJ, email me this week. Let me know if I said the wrong name for the song. D-Weed, Dick Weed? Oh, come on. And then for those of you that want to send in more songs, more logos, we always welcome them. FittsDogRadio at gmail.com.

That's where the everything goes. Corrections. Only had one. One correct. Well, that's kind of a double correction. Okay. From Nathan Brown. He said, Greg, the cause of the Great Chicago Fire

likely wasn't the O'Leary's cow kicking over a lantern. The police reporter working for the Chicago Republican admitted he made up the story to boost sales of their Sunday paper. Do you need to boost sales when the city's on fire? Does that need an angle? It seems like people are going to buy those papers. Yeah. If they're not on fire, especially if they're wet. Yeah.

And then he also pointed out that we, I reviewed the same blondie comic strip twice. Oh, wow. To the archives. And, uh, but he said, he said, so that's a mistake, but then also there's a correction within the correction, which is that the name, they mention a name in the comic strip, like Dagwood is like, oh Margot Bardot is blah, blah, blah.

In one strip, in one frame, it says Margot with an O, second one says Margot with an OT so whoever the guy is that right refused to learn his name that does Blondie he fucked up. Oh man look at that. Tour dates coming up Kansas City at the Funny Bone October 18th and 19th. Helium in Philly November 7th through 9th those shows shows will sell out. Get your tickets in advance. Tacoma Comedy Club, then the Tempe Improv, Punchline in San Francisco, Hilarities in Cleveland, Janesville, Wisconsin, Nyack, New York, Raleigh.

Go to fitsdog.com, get some tickets, come on out. Also, support for the podcast comes from Game Time. We love it. We sure do, man. Game Time, you get to see, listen, they have a guarantee, they have super deals, you seat views before you buy. They have the lowest.

And this is for music. This is like, just say yes. I just said yes, you say yes. Concerts, sporting events, hockey, basketball, football, baseball, it's all out there now. Comedy shows, theater. Go experience something in life and do it through game time where you know you're going to get the best deal. All right, here we go. Nashville. What do I'm going to go? No, I'm getting out of music because I like going in discover mode.

Let's see what's up here. Oh, we got the Colts at the Titans. How about this? Forty five bucks. Maybe I should go to that. I've never been a Titan stadium and they're replacing it. Well, tonight at eight o'clock is a great example. It's a last call because it's starting soon because it's game time.

ELO, Jeff Lin's ELO, 25 bucks. No, wow. How about that? Yeah, way to the last minute and they have a thing called priority. There's a thing called game time picks, which is it curates it so it makes it easier to save. There's all in pricing so that you know the total,

no surprises and check out. That's what I know, Mike loves that. Oh, that's all he talks about. So go out and have- Event cancellation protection, job loss protection with these lowest price guarantee as well. Come on now. All right, so listen,

take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with Game Time, download the Game Time app, create an account and use code PAPERS for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply again, create an account, redeem code PAPERS for $20 off. Download Game Time today. What time is it? It's game time. Game time. Nice. All right, so also we have a new sponsor to the

show that is such a perfect match for what Sunday Papers is. Ground News is kind of an approach to news that lets you weigh in on where that news is coming from. It gives you context on the story because we are in quite a conundrum in this country right now, where everyone's in an echo chamber, everybody's getting their own news, they're not getting challenged, they're not necessarily knowing.

Even some of the news I read, like, you know, this one I just had to block, like New Republic or something, where it's like everything was just bashing the right. and it's like, it can't be that bad. It's not that bad. You know, I may, I may skew left, but I want to hear the news from both sides and I want to know what they're saying. And I want to know if that's legit, you know, ground news lets you know if it's coming from

some of these news sources are corporate owned and and you can smell it but you can't always tell when you're reading the story unless you know. I'm here like here I looked up on their site they have US inflation reaches lowest point in three years though some price pressures remain. So that's like the right like here's another right story. Core prices likely increased point three percent from August to September, up three point three percent from a year earlier. But meanwhile, like the center and left are like that.

The real headline is it's the lowest point in three years. So the left you're going to be getting you're gonna be getting all the good news. Even when it's a hard number, which I think it's two and a half percent in place right now, even when it's a hard number, you're gonna get different numbers from each side. So, you know, ground news is a, it's a tool that you can use to make sure

that you're getting a better understanding. And I hope that our podcast is that for you people. I hope that we're really presenting, but I mean, we go out of our way to not, we go after both sides for hypocrisy as much as we can. But I think people also listen to it knowing who we are and they factor that in. And I think you need to do that with all your news,

not just your podcasts. So you get a lot of information coming at you and there's people don't trust in the media the way they used to so here's a way to try to you know feel confident about what you're reading and getting some context to it. So ground news is a perfect sponsor for Sunday Papers to help us share our stories with you. Go to groundnews.com slash S P to get 40% off ground news vantage plan, which will unlock access to all of their news analysis features. I think ground news is doing important work and I hope

you'll check them out. I should speak for you too. Greg, I hope we hope you check them out. That's ground G R O U N D dot news forward slash SP as in the Sunday papers. Sunday papers. Let's get to the front page. Here we go. Hey now. Get this piece of paper right here. Hey now. Extra, extra, we are the thonics. Extra. Oh, we talked about Florida up top and we're also got a very interesting Florida man coming

up. But the Florida's home insurer of last resort is in serious trouble. An exodus of national insurance companies from Florida combined with the local private insurers canceling plans has left many homeowners there with only one option. Citizens Property Insurance Corporation. Never heard of it. Sounds shaky. That sounds like it's on the back of a match book cover. And then you read that it's state backed and you're like, you remember it's Florida and you're like, that is shaky.

The state backed nonprofit home insurance company was set up to be an insurer of last resort for those who can't find coverage in the private market with 1.3 million policies in force as of last month three times as many compared to five years ago. Citiz is by far the largest provider in the state, but now with Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton both making landfall and devastating homes in Florida, the insurer will almost certainly have to pay out billions of dollars in claims. So good luck, Florida. And Floridians, in my opinion, are probably the people that need insurance of all kinds the most.

Do they sell insurance that protects you against Florida men? That should be in the policy. The only insurance Floridians take out is to protect against the dealer having blackjack. That's the only insurance they get. Yeah, they don't take a lot of insurance. They don't use condoms. They don't wear motorcycle helmets, seat belts, sunblock. They don't have gun laws and they live in a hurricane zone. I mean, you really wonder why there's not a casino on every corner of Florida. Remember Highly?

Remember there was a sport we'd never even heard of that they were gambling on in Florida. Yes, it was there in like one town in New Milford maybe. Yeah, oh yeah, Connecticut had it and Florida. And even everyone at like the old rigged horse races were like, hi lies, fixed man, it's like it's the most dishonest sport ever. Okay, we gotta keep up with Diddy.

Diddy sex trafficking probe, the young accusers draw eerie parallels to Michael Jackson case. As Sean Diddy comes away, it's trial on multiple sex trafficking charges, more allegations of abuse at the hands of the fallen music mogul continue to surface last week, more than 100 accusers, 25 of whom were minors at the time, reportedly came forward alleging rape sexual assault and sexual exploitation against Diddy.

Well there goes our algorithm. When we talk about the ages of the victims, when the conduct occurred, it's shocking, Houston attorney Tony Busby told reporters. The youngest victim at the time of the occurrence, allegedly, keep in mind, was nine years old. We have an individual who was 14 years old, and we have one who was 15. Now, controversial view, but I feel sorry for these kids. I mean, listen, if they didn't have a choice, if they were fated, let's talk about fate. If they were fated to be victims, you would much rather have

Michael Jackson than P. Diddy for many reasons. It's not even close. Also, Diddy didn't have a live, like, you know, a live in amusement park where they took the kids. Diddy didn't own a fun monkey, you know? Yeah. And the music, like, here's the thing is you're going to be triggered. You're going to be triggered by a Michael Jackson. Here's the other, maybe, maybe you want it to be Diddy because if it's Michael Jackson, you're going to be triggered constantly bar mitzvah

parties, weddings. There's, you're never going to hear a Diddy song again. Ever. Good point. Yeah. Yeah. How fast is Sting just banning his song everywhere where Diddy sampled it, even though Sting made a tons of cash on it. Every breath you take. Oh, right, right. That's the thing about Diddy. Repurpose.

I was like, Diddy's so great. Really? What's his great song? Oh, this song that's somebody else's song? And what about Jay-Z? Oh, is he great? What's his big song? Oh, that song that's somebody else's song? And what about Jay Z? Oh, is he great? What's his big song? Oh, that song that somebody else's song.

Give me a fucking break. What's the biggest news did he ever made? Oh, you mean Epstein? He stole Epstein stuff. Yeah. So this next story is Rowan Addison was, was 11 when she first noticed a small lump in her left, this is a dark fucking episode so far. When she first noticed a small lump in her left, let me just read the story. In her left breast, I showed my mom,

she tells people exclusively. At her next checkup, she and her mom mentioned the pea-sized mass to the pediatrician who said it was likely related to puberty. It wasn't a huge problem, I just ignored it. By ninth grade the lump had grown to the size of a grape. Rowan got an ultrasound and was told there was nothing to worry about, but if it got bigger she should come back. It just this whole thing sounds like a setup to a joke. I just started to ignore it again, but the summer

before junior year of high school, she noticed the lump had nearly doubled. It was almost the size of a ping pong ball. Wait, what happened to the produce metaphor? What happened to peas and grapes? All of a sudden it's a ball? It's a ping pong ball? Okay, I'm reading the story.

I'm now waiting like everyone listening. I'm waiting for like it's popped and all the spiders come running out. Keep going. The volleyball team captain was then seen in 2021. She was told it was less than a 1% chance of being cancer. All right, so that's a relief. The doctor said, I'm not promising you anything,

but you're so young. He's like, you're 16, it's a very slim chance this is going to be cancerous. It's probably a fibrodon't Norma, a benign tumor situation. A week later on September 27th, 21, she came home from her volleyball game and found her parents crying. They told her she had cancer. Okay. Just for the listeners, that is the whole story.

The only thing I came, I read that I'm like, what, this was like an after school special with the saddest. All I wrote was, what the fuck is this story lol. That's all I got. That's all I got on this story. What is this? It just, I don't know how it got in my newsfeed, but it just was so funny that it just didn't get on your computer in a doc in a Google doc. You had to copy it and paste it. Mostly to see your reaction. They told her she had cancer. I guess the only joke that popped out at me was like,

tell her that she had a ping pong ball. Cause I went up Maria Lopez's shirt in ninth grade and I noticed a ping pong ball size lump too but it turns out it was her tit and it grew bigger the next year. And that's why I really think teenage boys should be trained as mammography specialists because who is checking out teenage tits more? We literally give them exams as often as they will let us, and we do a thorough, like I would examine a breast for 30 minutes. I would literally fondle the breast for 30 minutes,

and I would do a taste test. If it was allowed, I would do a taste test. Listen, who's talking? You thought you were examining a woman's, a girl's vagina in high school and you weren't even in that area. I never claimed to be a doctor. I did erect, Mike's referring to the fact

that I thought I was doing a vaginal exam and I was doing a rectal exam Because I hadn't taken her pants off and I was only about 12 and I just jam my hand down there And you should have been like I have really bad news for you. I think you're definitely dying There is a very very bad infection down there. I am not and I refuse to do a taste test. Corey DeAngelis, a prominent opponent of public schools and critic of LGBTQ plus. I hear this. I hear they added something else to plus.

Oh, I think they had a question mark. Oh, I swear to God. Oh, a. Oh, as to God. Oh, A? Oh, asexual. Oh, right, right, right. Question mark will be next. Anyway, he publicly admitted to his past involvement in gay adult films on the Christian Broadcasting Network. This came after videos and images showed up

under his pseudonym, Seth Rose. He apparently pushed to divert public funds to private and charter schools because I guess they're not indoctrinating people to be gay. There are, he said, quote, "'There are images and videos circulating of me "'from my college days that I'm not proud of. "'They're embarrassing.'

But he framed the scandal as a politically motivated attack by the left. There's been a cancellation attempt from the left. The only thing attempted from the left is when a guy on his left was trying to give him a hand job. That was the attempt from the left. While acknowledging what he framed as his past mistakes, DeAngelis defended his advocacy, claiming that his personal history doesn't invalidate his fight to quote, protect children from exposure to such content.

I don't want this kind of material to be in front of children in a K through 12 education system before they're consulting adults. Right. Only once you are mature, should you watch somebody having a dump taken on their chest while they're dressed as a lifeguard or getting spanked wearing a leather mask

and a ball gag. How did people even recognize him with the leather mask and the ball gag? Never mind watching it. Once you're of age, dive right in. No problem. Right. Oh wow, what a surprise that there's a hypocrite who's anti-gay rights and everything. Yeah. Shocker. It almost seems like more often the case than not. When Ann Nuslock showed up at, I can't believe.

What are your stories, dude? I don't know what these stories are. I mean, this is what happens when you leave them to my own devices. When Anna Nuslock showed up at her local hospital 15 weeks pregnant and in severe pain earlier this year, she said a doctor delivered. Did she have a lump?

Turns out she did. A doctor delivered devastating news. The twins she and her husband had so desperately wanted were not viable. Further, her own health was in danger and she needed an emergency abortion to prevent hemorrhaging and infection. Prudence St. Joseph Hospital

in the small northern California coastal city of Eureka refused to provide the care she required because doctors could detect fetal heart tones. The California Attorney General filed a lawsuit against the Catholic Hospital detailing the experience alleging the hospital violated multiple state laws when it discharged Nuslock with an offer, are you ready, of a bucket and towels. Huh. So I guess like good Catholics they directed the Nuslocks to a nearby manger to deal with it. Yeah, very no infection there very Sanitary we can yeah, we can't operate to save your life, but father Flanagan is here if you want last rights

All right, I did not write anything okay read the title of your next story whores on a plane. And then we wonder why we make literally no money from YouTube, because if people don't know how the algorithm works, when you say the word shit, you get flagged and they demonetize you. We talked about pedophilia, abortion, cancer. All right, abortion, cancer. When is your heart out here?

You have a show. Yeah. When do you have to go? I have to be done at 6.50 p.m. It's now 6.22. Oh, okay, so we can move it along or if you want- I will move it along. Just say move it along.

We all have that friend who wakes up early to go get everyone McDonald's breakfast, while the rest of us sleep in. This is your sign to thank them. And if you're that friend, this is us saying, thank you. Just a friendly reminder that right now, get any size iced coffee before 11 a.m. for just 99 cents. And a satisfying sausage McMuffin with egg is just $2.79.

Price and participation may vary, cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Badum-a-bub-ba. I don't have to break it down. No, no, I'm wondering, but I see you wrote some stuff to whores on a plane. All right, two friends, Tara Kehidi and Teresa Aruhu, were allegedly removed from a Spirit Airlines flight. Allegedly removed. From LA to New Orleans on October 4th due to their attire. Initially wearing sweaters, they removed them due to the plane's lack of

air conditioning, revealing crop tops that showed a small portion of their midriffs. A male flight attendant, wink wink, approached them instructing them to put something on. When asked about a dress policy, the attendant reportedly just walked away. We were just wearing crop tops, a little bit of stomach showing, Kadidi explained. It was confusing and it felt discriminatory. Passengers defended them, but a supervisor intervened,

threatening police involvement if they didn't leave. I'm sure there was a lot of passengers defending them. Married guys with screaming babies who were fucking dead inside, except for that little glimpse of midriff from row 19. Please let them stay. Midriff. First of all, every flight would easily be canceled

from LA to Nashville with all the the the whores your word all the whores come in these bachelor parties also midriff or are they talking about under boob oh yeah they didn't really there was no picture but they say it was a sliver they say it was a sliver but some tells me if a hot guy had his balls hanging out of his cargo shorts that male flight attendant not a word Probably would have gotten an upgrade to his section bump up bump up so to speak. Yep Meanwhile, I got a woman whose gun to draped across my armrest Gunt there it goes

We go on entertainment Yeah, why not? Here we go. Okay. Why don't you read this one? Because my throat's getting tired. A Los Angeles based psychiatrist has filed a multimillion dollar lawsuit against his former client, Dr. Dre. It sounds like two doctors going toe to toe here. Dr. Charles Sophie claims that Dre has been engaging in a frightening campaign of harassment and threats that has him scared

to leave his gated community or even his home. Sophie used to provide marriage counseling for Dr. Dre and his ex-wife, Nicole Young. But Sophie said Dre falsely believes that he encouraged a third party to badmouth Dre to the media while the producer was in the throes of his infamous divorce from Young. The psychiatrist provided alleged receipts that showed Dre, quote, writing text messages with words like bitch and piece of shit. I'm sure that's what they say over text and also vowing to make you pay for that. Sophie said Dre went even further as having a couple of men pose as FBI agents to try to breach his gated community

and physically threaten him up close. The psychiatrist told the Los Angeles County court that he is so frightened for his safety that he never leaves his home without a bulletproof vest and a cap. Much of your therapist showed up with a bulletproof vest and a cap. You'd be like, how, how is this going? How's my therapy going? I Think if you're doing couples counseling for dr. Dre, I'm wearing a bulletproof vest anyway Cuz that shit's that shit's gonna get heated up

Yeah Plus sounds like a great gated community. It's at the point of the gate that thugs can't walk up to your fucking house and threaten you? Meanwhile, he's Sophie, he's probably comparing notes, Dr. Sophie with another therapist who's Diddy's therapist. Like I, you know what? I don't, I really don't have the bandwidth. I got my own problems.

I got major headaches. Look, you want to take on Dr. Dre as a client. You just, you have to assume there's going to be certain drama that comes along with it. It's like, it's like people that are mob lawyers and they lose a case and they're getting through, like my dad, did I tell you my dad's best friend was the mob lawyer for the Gotti family? No. I never told you that? I think maybe, I'm not sure, but yeah, Ron Faschetti. He just died. He died of natural causes. It's by some fucking miracle.

Wow. And yeah, my father used to go to his trials just to see the craziness. Man. Another entertainment news, George Lopez reveals he's retiring from stand-up. Is that a little PTSD there, Mike? Huh? Yeah, maybe.

Well, you know, when I was with him, I thought he might have retired from doing jokes for a little bit. Mike was the head writer on his show. We should point out. I was the showrunner also. The showrunner. Jesus.

He said he's gonna spend more time with his hair. Have you seen his... Is he trying to be a founding father with his haircut of his now? Why would he retire? First of all, I hope he's not expecting much of a retirement party from the 68 relatives he supports. They're gonna be like, Essay, you sure you want the retirement?

Jesse, you sure you want the retirement? He, uh, he did say he's enjoying his current sitcom so much that that is what he's going to spend more time focused on. And then it's, it's, it's interesting to recall though. He's had three sitcoms. Uh, these were the names of the sitcoms, George Lopez, Lopez, Lopez versus Lopez. So in all three, who does he think he is? Bob Newhart? I mean, what range.

He plays George Lopez, and in this current one, he plays George Lopez with his real daughter acting in the sitcom as herself. Wow, no shit. That's amazing. Well, why not? I don't know why not. Why after I fight two hit sitcoms?

I'm done. Yeah. Fucking work. How about one? Yeah. All right. Here's your Martha story. Martha Stewart was living a different sort of life in the trailer of her upcoming documentary,

Martha, which drops on Netflix, the lifestyle guru revealed that she cheated on her ex-husband Andy Stewart early on in their relationship. And then we're cutting to a quote she said on her TV in the trailer for the movie. Young women, listen to my advice, Martha said in the trailer. If you're married and your husband starts to cheat on you he's a piece of

shit. Our producer off-camera could be heard asking the 83 year old about her own affair to which Martha responded yeah but I don't think Andy ever knew about that. I think she also was like and you're cutting this out right you're cutting this last part that just happened out. Why is he talking? Imagine banging, imagine banging Martha Stewart, cause she seems like, she seems like she's into banging now. And it'd be competitive.

She'd be, she would make you like, oh, I quilted something we can fuck on. And you'd have to be like, look, I quilted something we can fuck on, and you'd have to be like, look, I gave you a pearl necklace. You know, it'd have to be homey and crafty. Yes, out of undesirable things also. That's sometimes how she does it. Right, repurpose.

Have you met her? I'm under the impression I have, but I don't think I have. I mean, I impression I have, but I don't think I have. I mean, I was around her because I went to that roast when that started her relationship with Snoop Dogg. It was a Beiber, Justin Bieber roast. Following her split from Andy, Martha briefly dated Anthony Hopkins,

who she explained that she broke up with after watching Silence of the Lambs and being unable to get his portrayal of Cannibal Hanna-ble Lecter out of her head. Well, maybe he should have shown her her, his movie Human Stain where he bangs the shit out of a young Nicole Kidman. Maybe that would have kept her on board. That would have helped. Do you remember that movie? No, I never saw it. It was based on that Philip Roth book, Human Stained, and in it he is, I mean the movie was not, it was made maybe 20 years ago, so he was probably in his 60s and she was like 27

and there's like sex scenes that are pretty graphic. Wow. I mean, his agent fought hard for that role. Never saw it, but, uh, yeah. Well, I mean, listen, he, he, he ate, he ate a woman with a Chianti and Fava beans. It is. Doesn't that turn around? Yeah. Uh, 76 year old rock legend, Steven Tyler, made a shocking discovery.

His daughter Liv Tyler told him that on that TV show, do you, who do you think you are? Where they trace family genes. His were traced back to Robert Elliott, who is his great, great, great grandfather, who is part African American. Whoa! Steven listened to his daughter before he quickly responded, is his great, great, great grandfather who is part African American. Whoa. Steven listened to his daughter

before he quickly responded, I knew it. Thank you God. I always felt akin to black people. Always. I felt it in, I felt it my whole life. Well, he better rewrite every time I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer because black don't crack.

No, there's no lines. The only lines are white lines. Every time I look in the mirror I cannot believe I still look this good. One of the most famous lines in the civil rights movement by the way was I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. And very close to that, Stephen wrote, dream on. Oh, my God, that's right.

He is black. I think the black part of him took the night off when he wrote love in the elevator. I think I think the black jeans would have literally fought the white jeans and got them in a headlock before they could create that masterpiece. All right we are going to Florida man. We're going to Florida. Here we go. All right. People have sent this into us a bunch of times that there is a Lieutenant Dan in Florida.

The seafarer reportedly named Joseph Malinowski, known affectionately as Lieutenant Dan because he only has one leg, ignored multiple warnings from Tampa police to leave his vessel docked in Tampa Bay as Hurricane Milton was approaching. So this guy, Lieutenant Dan, is in this crappy little sailboat that's tied up in the bay. By the way, can I just point out, like, all of these hurricanes are hitting Florida and they have like old Jews names, Milton and Evelyn. They started naming them after Jewish residents? Maybe. It must get confusing

in the house when they're screaming their wife's name. He has talked in several videos... First time someone gets blown by somebody named Evelyn down there in about 40 years. It's been a while. He has talked in several videos about why he originally planned to stay on the water saying God originally told him to buy the boat and he believes the almighty has his back. He also added some sound reasoning quote boats float, but Lieutenant Dan is not the hero. Many on the internet have him out to be. His enormous rap sheet. They published his mug shots. There's 14 of them. Lieutenant Dan, look at all of them. He's got a fucking tan in one of them. He got really tan in one, but you know

what it's like? It's very much like, you know, I took a picture of myself every week for a year. That's exactly what this looks like. Yeah. God told him to buy the boat. Did he tell him to put two, two of every animal on it too? Lieutenant Dan? Are you Noah? He referenced Noah. He referenced Noah. Oh, he did. Yes, he did. Wow. Well, God told me to buy a Mustang. Well, not God, Joe Rogan. There you go. Yeah. All right. This is more of a hurricane and more related to God as well. So we're going to make Georgia, Florida. Here we go. Georgia man shares story of survival in North Carolina after Hurricane Helene increased my faith in God.

Georgia man is thanking God after narrowly surviving, being stranded in North Carolina mountains during and directly after Hurricane Helene devastated the state. Kyle Vargas hiked 13 miles on foot through the mountains after being stranded in the Tar Heel state while visiting Ashland with his brother just to look around and see trees everywhere and cars and sinkholes and stuff smashed like I've never seen anything like that before. Man, I could cry right now. God just always showing me that he got me. Got you? He's trying to kill you. I love how they twist it.

Right, right. I know. Well Well that's the thing about God. He's trying to show you that, you know, there's those people are worse off than you to show you how good you're doing. Unless you're the most, unless you're crawling through a garbage dump in India with syphilis having been molested, then you got to go like, all right, can I say this? No, God. Yeah, just me. I'm the I'm the I'm this worst scenario of life. Can I say this? No, God. I mean, if you're being shot at, right. And the bullets are just missing you and you're dodged, you know, dodging and weaving and you're incredibly lucky.

And you'll probably this guy would like thank God cause God's really watching out for him. But what if God's the shooter also? Do you still thank him? That's the disconnect I'm having. Well, if God was a shooter, I think he'd hit you on the first one. Well, it's, you know, it's like that joke. I'll just move it along. I'll probably tell it wrong, but a guy in floods coming and like, listen, old man who's on his porch, you, you gotta vacate. You gotta, we gotta go now. He's like, no, I'm not. I'm going to wait till the good Lord tells me. And they're like, all right, fine.

And they drive off. And then next it's the streets flooded. So a boat pulls up to his porch. Old man, get in. It's mandatory evacuation. He's like, no way I'm not doing it. I will wait for the good Lord. But then a helicopter comes. Same thing. He rejects it and then he dies and then he gets to heaven and he's up there and God's like, what are you doing here? He's like, well, I waited for a sign. He's like, dude, I sent a car, a boat, a helicopter. Yeah. All right, we're moving on to sports. Oh, God. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Okay, the Mets. The Mets, my Mets, I don't miss a game all year and so when they make it to the playoffs, I get so fucking excited. You don't miss a game all year. I don't see a game all year and so when they make it to the playoffs I get so fucking excited. You don't miss a game all year. I don't see a game all year. We got our Yankees Dodgers bet. What did we land at? 50 bucks? 50 bucks and right now you are one step ahead of

me. We said the bet is whatever team makes it further and And you know, there is an eventuality that my Mets play your Yankees in the World Series. Are they really your Mets? Do I not know this? You know, we grew up with season tickets. I was a huge Mets fanatic my whole life. I know Rusty Stobb. I know there was a personal connection. Keith Hernandez, Wally Backman, they were all friends of my dad's

and they weren't all mob lawyers. Some of them were baseball players. And yeah, my father came up to Boston during game six of the World Series, not game six, game four of the World Series took me to a game. And anyway. All right, so the Dodgers are playing, it's two to two, San Diego and the Dodgers and they're playing it's right now

It's what is this Friday and they're playing in a half hour. I think I'm gonna bet on the Padres I think I just misspoke. I think that the The Mets and the Yankees could play in the World Series. Oh,, I didn't, I tuned you out. What did you say? Right now, the Mets are locked in the National League finals and now the Dodgers are two and two. So if they win tonight, they will be in the finals. So anyway, yeah, 50 bucks.

But what about these Mets games? Are you watching the fucking end? They come from behind in every game. There was a Lindor hit a grand slam in the seventh inning to win the game while they after being behind the entire game. It's incredible. It is. I've been doing well, you know, in Tennessee, you can bet legally on your phone and live

betting and all that and I did well betting against the Jets of course. Oh Jets head coach was fired. That's interesting Well, do you think that Aaron Rodgers had him fired? And then last night I bet on San Francisco 49ers and the Yankees and I won both Nice, I wouldn't touch the 49ers this year. They are blowing games. But, and I plan to win your $50 here and that might happen tonight. I'm betting on San Diego, but I get a run and a half if I bet on San Diego. No, that's exciting. All right, let's cut to this day in history. All right, let's do this day in history. Let me find it. You got them all lined up?

Did you do all your research? Yeah, yeah, no, I got stuff. I got stuff, I got stuff, I got stuff. Here we go, this day in history. I like the first one especially. The cornerstone for the White House, the official office and home of every US President and First Lady since 1800 when John,

well, I just kind of ruined it with that, and Abigail Adams moved in near the end of his term. Okay. It was laid. The cornerstone was laid. The beginning of the building of the white house was on this day in what year give or take three years. I'm going to say 1790. 1792. There we go. I can't believe I read that 1800 in the goddamn description. Oh, all right. Let's find another one here. Here we go. A flight charted by Uruguayan rugby team crashed in the Andes mountains of Argentina and the animals.

Yes, the cannibal story was it was not located for more than two months. It became a very famous story. Give or take seven years. When did this flight with the rugby to the hungry rugby team go down? 82. Wrong, sir. 1972. Oh, wow. No shit. Let's test you here. A film classic. Oh, it's so good. All About Eve starring Betty Davis and Ann Baxter premiered in both Paris and New York City. It's known for its acid wit. It won six Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Give or take, I'm gonna be generous, seven years. When was this film, when did it premiere? 1954. Damn you all to hell 1950. Yeah. Uh, okay. Yeah. The talkies, the reality TV series

keeping up with the Kardashians premiered on this day in what year give or take four years. Uh, how long have those nightmares been around? Yeah. I would say 2012. And did I say four years? I don't know. I think I did. I love it. 2007.

Damn. All right. Here's the last one. These bitches are getting long in the tooth American test pilot Chuck Yeager became the first person to break the sound barrier on this Well this week, let's call it And now I'm gonna give you I'm gonna be very generous. I'm gonna give you give or take eight years.

I'll say 19. S 61. No, 47. Really? Yeah, he missed. He missed World War Two. But imagine, imagine that thing happening and all the other pilots, like in World War Two, like hearing and seeing that, that would be crazy. No, but that's what's incredible about aeronautical history

and the space program is how far along they came so long ago and how little we have progressed since. I mean, from the 1940s to 1970, they came up with breaking the sound barrier, getting it to space, getting on the moon. And then what have we really done since? You know what's responsible for it? High corporate taxes. That's one of the reasons. Really? Yeah, because companies don't, there's

a very, I saw Republican make this argument. I think we've talked about before and we won't get political, but I did see this guy and he goes, well, you know what? Corporate taxes aren't the worst thing in the world if they go higher. And I don't know why Republicans are so against them. If really pride in America is one of the most important things to you, America never did better because corporations so hate giving the money to the government that they will instead

put it in research and development and employee benefits and things that they can write off. Yeah, there's a theory. benefits and things that they can write off. Yeah, there's a theory. Uh, I like that theory a lot. Let's get to speaking of very old things. Let's do the obituary. Here we go. Ethel Kennedy, human rights advocate and widow of Robert F. Kennedy dies at 96.

Isn't that crazy to think he could still be alive? Ethel Skakel Kennedy was born in Chicago in 1928 and grew up in Greenwich, Connecticut. Her father built a successful coal business making the family wealthy. She was just, this is interesting, she was just 17 years old when she met her future husband Bobby Kennedy who was dating her sister Patricia at the time. There's always a Kennedy scandal. Look at that. I know. Well, I mean, speaking of scandals, when you think of that name, Skakel, there was a very famous case from 1975 where one of the Skakels, I don't know if it was her cousin, oh he was the nephew. This guy Skakel, what's his name?

Earl? No, Earl is the comedian who I love. Michael Skakel who was 15 at the time murdered his next door neighbor with a comedian who I love. Michael Skakel, who was 15 at the time, murdered his next door neighbor with a golf club, I think. Whoa. And he got out. So. He got out.

And then I think they- That's a white collar crime. He got out on a million dollars bail, and then the Supreme Court reinstated his conviction. And then they reversed itself in 2018. They got a new trial. Anyway, yeah, it was just, it was a huge news story. All righty. It started out as a mischief night,

toilet papering a house and then they fucking killed her. Anyway, she, can I tell you my, I met her. I met Ethel Kennedy. I spent a little time with her. I was down, I did one of those best buddies events where we go down to, we went down to Cape Cod to do a fundraiser and the after party was at the Kennedy compound in Cape Cod in Hyannisport.

So. I remember that. I go down there with my friends, Greg and Martha, and we got to go to like the VIP VIP after party was at the actual house and I got a tour I got to walk through the house into Joe Kennedy's old he had like a movie room with like an old reel to reel and I got to go into just shows a pruder film now. I went into the John John F. Kennedy's bedroom and and we were left alone in John F. Kennedy's bedroom and fucking Martha got in the bed and I was screaming because I love the Kennedy's it was sacrilege I was like Martha get the fuck out of that bed. And she was laughing. Stop rubbing one out.

And she got out. But anyway, so we went downstairs and Ethel was in a golf cart and she was buzzing around and she stopped and talked to different people and we got to talk to her for a little while. And yeah, very sweet old broad. Was it the golf cart the nephew used to club a guy to death?

Let's move on to the funnies, shall we? All right, let's go. I'm looking at the time. Do you got time? Here we go. All right, do the funnies. Funnies real quick. By the way, Dickie had a funny joke

that I wonder if she was vaccinated because her son is very against that. All right, go ahead. All right, last week's caption for the contest. If you win, we will send you a koozie. Send your submissions into FitzDogRadio at gmail.com. Last week's caption is a father feeding his toddler in a high chair. A dog and a cat talk to each other on the floor. And the dog says, world's greatest dad my ass. He didn't wash his hands after jerking it this morning. I was there. That's Andrew Rossler.

Whoa. Jeff Langa says, that toilet baby is eating out of my bowl. Toilet baby, okay. Nick Finarelli says, thank Christ we don't live in Ohio. Translated from Korean. Pretty funny.

I like that. Greg Ward said, oh sure, he uses a spoon to feed that kid some peanut butter. You should see what he uses to feed it to me. Alrighty, Greg. We can't get a comic strip with a dog in it without peanut butter coming out.

Frank Kehoe said, impressed by the spoon? Just wait till you see how mom feeds the little bastard. Alright, yeah. Ron Dvorak said, hey cat, did you hear the news? The choo-choo is coming. OK. Rich Butchko says, I'm not saying they're Haitian. I'm just saying I ain't seen Mr. Boots in three days.

OK. Nathan Brown says, then the male puts his lipstick inside the female's. here. Let me show you John Munster says yep yet again. We sit here drooling while this dipshit cuck unwittingly spoon feeds the mailman's baby Oh, they know something, huh? And finally from Andrew Patterson and when he's done feeding the little human, I get to eat some peanut butter. Too bad your tongue feels like sandpaper.

You'll never taste man milk. It's delicious. It's not long. It's not long. All right, a lot of details. A lot of details there. So, I think our finalists are, thank God we don't live in Ohio,

although I think the other Greg Ward. I think the other version of that might be better. I'm not saying they're Haitian. I'm just saying I ain't seen Mr. Boots in three days. All right. Which one do you like? I like Greg's too. Okay.

We could flip a coin. What do you want to do? Wait, Greg Ward's. Oh, sure. He is a spoon to feed the kid. You should see what he is to feed me. Yeah, I just thought it was a clever way to dance around what could have been gross or which came a little later.

I'm fine with anything. All right. Why I want to go with maybe the one that doesn't say Haitian okay so our winner this week is Greg Ward congratulations you're the owner of a new koozie in just four to six weeks oh wait I thought we were gonna go with the Ohio one oh oh you mean the one that's not that's too late we already announced it already announced it sorry yeah those are the rules this isn't the Oscars where we flip after announcing a winner. Yeah. All right, let's do these real quick. Hager is shaking hands with a guy and he goes, Lars your son is really

growing up. And he goes, yeah he's at the age where his voice is changing, where it used to ask for cookies, now he asks for gold coins. And then the next frame is, and he's starting to ask about rape. His voice still gets very high though when he asks about rape. The Lockcorns, we've got Loretta is talking to the machinery on the table and she says, Alexa do you hear what he's saying to me? I like that. Leroy is in the in the the long grass on the golf course. Loretta's got a golf bag, she's talking to her friend and she goes Leroy's Leroy found where he hit his ball. Now he's looking for where he threw his club That would be funny with Alexis you could be like you're in a fight the typical one like that's not what I said Alexa Is that what I said?

Can you repeat back what I said? Yeah, all right, cuz I know you recorded it exactly Okay, here we go. We are in the fourth best Garfield of all time. So did I, Oh, I already put this one in there. All right, go ahead. You got to do blondie and we're going to do Garfield last. We'll do Garfield next week. Oh, okay. All right. So, uh, dad would come strolling into the house and his black velvet tuxedo and red bow tie. Was he a minstrel player? And he walks in and Blondie, I mean, part of the reason I put this strip in

is look at the second frame. Look at Blondie's fucking body in that second frame. She's got on a clay, teal, silk skirt, white pumps, and just a white shirt that it just, her bosoms are breaking through. It's like a prison break. They are trying to get out of there. And he walks in and she goes,

the Woodleys invited us over for dinner tonight. And then he goes, do they want us, I love this. Do they want us to bring anything over? Yeah, like are you gonna bring something over, dummy? And she goes, dinner. And then I thought to myself, not only is he a piece of shit, his friends are pieces of shit. The Woodleys, even the Woodleys are using this fucking woman who should be aspiring to so much more. I know she's got a shitty little bakery, but she should be married to Elon Musk.

Really? No. Yeah, no, it's pretty bad. You know, it's such a terrible cartoon though, like the writing. He really is spending all his time on the boobs. I think that's what's going on and not on the writing. Yep, I think it's draining all the blood from his vein. I think he's masturbating while drawing her and then he forgets about the final frame and then just scratches something out. Oh yeah, whatever you wanna say here. Okay, yeah, I guess dinner, all right.

Yeah. Anyway, I gotta run. Thank you guys for hanging with us and if you wanna support the show, go to groundnews.com slash SP. Get 40% off the unlimited access vantage plan Also download the game time app create an account use code papers for $20 off your first purchase terms apply Mike anything you want to promote?

Nope, sorry. I was all tied up today and we rushed this a little bit But have a great show enjoy Tulsa enjoy Trauma Museum tomorrow, whatever it's called. You don't enjoy that, you experience it. You just go through with the headset on and you know what's kind of fun? Just start laughing hysterically when you're watching something and listening to the same audio as the group around you.

Just start dying laughing. No, no, no, my headset is gonna have on that Jason Bateman and Will and all those guys. I'm going to have their podcast because I'll be laughing. I'll be laughing at that smartless podcast all through this Tulsa Massacre Museum. All right. Say hi to Tulsa for me. God bless. Take it each. Take it each. Take it each. Bye. Sunday Sunday Sunday paper podcast Sunday Sunday Sunday paper podcast It's good for you, it's good for me Sunday paper's not for the family

It's good for you, it's good for me Sunday paper's not for everybody Sunday Sunday Sunday paper podcast Sunday Sunday Sunday paper podcast Sunday Sunday Sunday paper podcast Sunday Sunday Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, It's good for you, it's good for you It's good for you, it's good for you