Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 236 10/20/24

Episode Date: October 20, 2024

Greg plays the bongos this week, Jim Gaffigan rips some politicians, and Red Lobster is ending the $20 all you can eat shrimp offer. Also, the Girl Scouts are gouging their members and Victoria Secret is letting the secret out of the bag.Support our Sponsors: PrizePicks.com “Download the app today and use code PAPERS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!”GroundNews.com/sp for 40% offWatch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Thanks to Heil Sound for the new microphones https://heilsound.comEmail caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Getting any news without partisan views is impossible these days Yeah, but the Sunday papers podcast gets delivered with a bias Boom, that's a recording, boom. Alright. And we're already recording on the video, correct? Yes, I mean that's what it said. Good, good, good. Yes.

Alright, I'm going to clap in in six, seven. All right, we can't see it, but three, two, one. That one meant something. Okay, hold on. All right. Read all about it, read all about it. We are 45 minutes in. 45 minutes, supposed to start taping at one o'clock. It's now 2 15.

Where are you by the way? Other than not on the video recording of the Zoom. Not on the video recording. I was a little scattered. I've been fucking, I swear to God, I was so on top of it. When I was promoting my special, which by the way, if you haven't seen, go to YouTube now, it's called You Know Me. We hit over 400,000 views, but it's starting a plateau. I need everybody who hasn't seen it, go watch the special. Now, if you have seen it, go click play and then go do the dishes.

Just put it on. I need to get my count up. We gotta keep the, stay on the algorithm. I'll do that. Anyway, so I, I was so- We need to explain this. All right, so I've been so on top of my life. When I went out, I did 23 podcasts in four weeks

and I was on it. I didn't, I wasn't late. I had cameras set up and then, and then I crashed and then it ended and and I'm so fucking disorganized. I left the house without my computer, so I got here to Kansas City with no laptop. The club manager, great dude, he hooked me up with his laptop. Has PornHub called you because they've noticed the difference? Oh my god, let me tell you something.

Phone, iPhone, poor iPhone. I have never ever jerked off holding my phone in my hand before. I did it yesterday. It took me no less than 48 minutes. It was brutal. Alright, the images, okay. And I had to do the sign-in again. In Missouri, you gotta, they make you take a picture of your face before they'll show you pornography. The listener told us you can go to other websites that have all the same material. I got my site, I'm not cheating on my site. We got a good thing going. That's where porn has it right, compared to Max and Hulu and Paramount Plus, you get all the same content on all the porn sites.

It's such, and they're all free. How about that? I think that your palette is limited. Mine are very specific. Czechoslovakian hidden camera, large breasted massage porn. Yes. It's not everywhere, It's not everywhere. It's not everywhere.

You are right. I'm not looking for crimes. That's a big difference. That's a big difference. It's only a crime if you get caught, my friend. Your porn search word is lawsuit. Lawsuit. Begone. Lawsuit. Lawsuit.

Begone. All right. So for all you listening, what we're talking about is Greg forgot his laptop. Go to the you go to the YouTube. And now I'm talking like a 90 year old because of what I just saw you go through. So go to YouTube, find this podcast. You will see there is a still photo of Greg. There's video of me, still photo. And also we have Denman's thing because when I turn off non-video participants, both of you disappear because I am signed into Greg's Zoom account. There's my name,

Greg Fitzsimmons on the bottom of the screen. And so you're doing it on your iPhone, the screen. And so you're doing it on your iPhone, but you're you join the Zoom on a the club owners laptop. Yes. And I had to get the script, which is on Google Docs, which he didn't have Google. So I had to do a bunch of stuff with that. And then I had to get my email. So I had to go through iCloud because I load stories into my emails all week Then I had to have my wife all of the logos and the songs for the show are on my laptop So she had to send those to me And then I had to drag and drop them onto this computer

I just this guy's gonna get his computer back and you'll see later there's a story about young girls. There's gonna be stuff on his laptop he did not want on there. Yeah, including DNA, right after this podcast. Why is there a pubic hair between T.Y. and you? Well, for me, not much has changed because you still have those dead shark eyes and not blinking

and your face is almost as animated as it is when you're live. So you know how many times I've been asked if I froze when I've been on a Zoom call? Yeah, right exactly. This is perfect. This is perfect. Do you know how hard it is for me during a conversation? I literally, I have like a timer in my head every 12 seconds to go move, look away, nod, smile. Oh no, it's like when you're with your lady friend, whether it's a wife or a girlfriend, and you're like, make a listening sound, make a mm-hmm. Aw, aw, I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I'm in Oklahoma. Am I in Oklahoma City? I'm in Kansas City, Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, it's all coming together. I'm in Kansas City. Great crowd last night. We packed a place.

Nice. It'll be too late for you to come by the time this airs, but this past weekend I was in Kansas City. And it's fun and it's fun. They were supposed to be in the baseball playoffs now or not supposed to be but they wanted to be. They're very upset. Speaking of which, two weeks ago I talked about how I walked past a drum circle in Venice and was invited in, didn't do it, and then I got this thing in my head all day, I didn't play the bongos. I didn't say yes to life.

So. Sounds like a memoir, sounds like a second memoir is coming up. So, as I said last week, I was in Tulsa, I went to the Bob Dylan Museum, I went to the Massacre Museum, I went to a recording studio, got back.

Lots of bongos. To LA, and I get a text, as I'm getting on the plane at noon, or two o'clock in Tulsa, do you want to go to the Dodgers-Mets game tonight? And I'm like, fuck, I haven't been home in four days, I'm exhausted, and I said no. And then I said, play the fucking bongos.

And I texted Aaron, I go, you want to go? I go, you're gonna have to pick me up at the airport, we're gonna go straight to the game. Did it, got to the game, got a text from Pete Scott, do you wanna go see the Clippers tomorrow night? I'm like, now I haven't been home in five days. And I said, yes, I do wanna see the Clippers. Got to the game and the great Pete Scott got us tickets,

guess what row, fourth to the back, for the worst seats in the house. Can they even hear your bongos from up there? Let me tell you something. You know, the Clippers are now playing at a new stadium. No, you told me about the high tech thing. You have to scan your face, much like the porn, you have to scan your face to get into the arena.

Otherwise they make you wait on a face to get into the arena. Otherwise they make you wait on a line that circles around the block. And when you go to get a hot dog, there's no nobody works there. It's an empty booth. And you walk up and it reads your face. And then you walk in and you grab a hot dog and you grab a soda and you just walk out. And there's about 25 cameras and they're watching you the whole time and then they just charge your credit card. You've preloaded your credit card in your face. It's so fucking creepy.

So I told someone teaching that class, so they're all, they're master students, but they're young. And I told them about that hightech Clippers, the new stadium. They're like, remember Amazon had a couple of stores like that? That's where I think the technology, at least to my knowledge and in this country, was first used. Do you know about that? Amazon had a...

I didn't know that. Like a smaller scale supermarket. You would just walk in and put stuff in the back and then walk out, you know, with your cucumbers, salads, cans of soup, whatever. But one of the students goes, right, but did you ever read the report that it wasn't all as high tech as it seemed,

and that there were cameras everywhere, which of course they knew, but the cameras then were, there were like a lot of Indian guys trying to identify who was there and getting those cucumbers by quickly typing in stuff. Like it wasn't exactly AI doing it. Yeah, it's really daunting.

I mean, our kids are at the age now where, well, I think that your daughter, doesn't she have a job lined up? Or did you say her friends all have jobs lined up this spring? Yeah, you know, that's the thing. So it's really, in a way, it's a form of peer pressure. So she goes to Michigan, which is, you know, much, even though what I love, she did not get into BU where we went, but Michigan is a much finer school and a hundred out of one hundred people would say so. So it's such a culture of like work hard, play hard. But I was talking to Sophie and she was like a little down on herself about it. I'm like, you know, meanwhile, I

was out of college and had no idea what I want, you know, and she's like a little down on herself about not interviewing and knowing what she's doing. And I'm like, what's up? What are you talking about? And she goes, no, half of the house I live in, which is like 15 girls, they already have jobs. I'm like, what? And so she went to a job fair and then anyway, she's had really good interviews since, but it's like keeping up with the Joneses.

So like, there was no culture like that at BU for us. And it's a culture there. So if you're not kind of you, you stand out now, you can accept that and not be bothered by it. Or you could feel self-conscious and be like, I got to catch up a little, you know? Well, I remember when I was in college, I went to a job unfair because none of us had decent grades. Now it was my kids. Well, I'll tell you what, maybe my kids can get your daughter a job as a waiter or a lifeguard. How about that? Well, I don't know if we

shouldn't say, but anyway, your daughter is working in a very cool, which I've never been to, and it's literally on my bucket list to go to the bar that she's gonna work in. Oh yeah, yeah, she just got a job as a bartender. Which, you know, there's booze everywhere, there's gonna be weird dudes hitting on her, she's gonna make so much money that she's not gonna want to go get a career job because there's no way she'll be taking a giant. No, no, she already said she's thinking, she already has a plan kind of. All right, good. Well, she'll be taking a giant. She already said she's making, she's thinking, she already has a plan kinda. All right, good.

She should tell me these things. Right. But she's doing great, she's doing great. It's like the year abroad, which by the way always works out actually. Yeah. Or gap year, whatever you wanna call it. Anyway, my point being, the jobs that are out there,

I mean, every day I talk to another young person that sent out there. I mean every day I talk to another young person that sent out 300. We had some guests over to the house the other night and one of the people identifies as they. They have an amazing resume as a writer. They went to an amazing college. They are so fucking charming, and they sent out 300 resumes and got one response, they got the job, they are now a receptionist. Like there's nothing out there. You know, it is like... They are, Greg, they are receptionists.

Please be sensitive. It is like... They are, Greg, they are receptionists. They are. Please be sensitive. So I'm just saying, like, it's not just like the straight white people that can't get jobs. It's AI is taking all the editing jobs. It's taking the copywriting jobs. It's taking, obviously, merchant jobs. We talked to Pete about programmers. Yeah.

Programmers, it's also taking hackers, I almost said hackers, it's also gonna take their jobs. Well, people go to college for four years to learn how to program and then literally, now you got $250,000 in loans and there's a computer that can do a week's worth of your work in less than two minutes. And you know what that's an example of?

The programmers did their job too well. Yeah, exactly. They programmed the machine that is putting them out of work which is an age old story. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what else is going on at school? How's teaching at USC? Oh, yeah, I put that in there just as something to talk about. They're writing, I'm teaching a sitcom class, so they're writing sitcoms and I'm like, all right, well, like

the stakes have to be, you always have to maintain the stakes and what's driving your character has a want or a goal, right? And it's like, and then there's stakes. And so when they're doing something, it can't like go. So anyway, I forget the exact example, but someone had one. I'm like, but why would your character like do that? Because it's sort of against his interest. And then I go, you know what?

Here's an example. I go, everyone's seen Pulp Fiction, of course they've all seen it multiple times. And I go, so Butchie, right? The boxer, that character, everything in the movie depends on, and everything goes wrong when he goes back for his watch. She left his watch in the motel, right?

And so everything goes wrong. And it's like, every viewer would be like, why the fuck just leave the watch, dude? And I imagine, I don't think this is what happened, but I imagine because I've gotten so many notes in my life, that Tarantino had the script and everyone had the same note. Like, it doesn't make sense, man. He wouldn't go back for the watch. so many notes in my life that Tarantino had the script and everyone had the same note.

It doesn't make sense, man. He wouldn't go back for the watch. He's like, no, no, it's a really important watch still. His dad gave him the watch still. His dad was in the war and died. How about that? And he gave him his watch. No, still not enough. It's like, okay, I'll fucking show you enough. he writes the Christopher walk in speech like young man This watch was up your father's ass like But the and there ain't no in a million racial slurs in the speech, but he so Overdid it and I've been in that position where I'm like Jesus. Here's your fucking note addressed How about I have Tosh say exactly what your fucking note is just

to shut you up and I go but that's how important it is to explain the viewer or reader has to know the motivation like why would he do that and so anyway the class cracked up and I never realized realized what a good example it is as a writing lesson. Did you just think of that off the top of your head while you were teaching or you had that planned? No, I was talking and I'm like, I knew I needed to find an example

because I was telling the kid, I'm like, it happens a lot and you get notes. And God willing, who knows if they'll ever get work, but God willing, if you guys ever do work on sitcoms or writing stories, a big thing, you'll get lots of notes like, why would your character do that? And it doesn't make sense based on his drive

in this story, blah, blah, blah. So anyway, that was really. That's the other thing, sitcoms are now being written by AI. Somebody just told me that. Yeah, our buddy that is very into tech, but I then said is AI Cree also creating viewers because they're not there right It does it almost doesn't matter I feel so sorry for sitcoms because it used to be a lot of good pilots weren't made and a lot of good sitcoms Weren't watched now. I can't even imagine how many that's the case for.

Because no one is watching. That's the critical thing about us is that we are so on top of technology that we are just going to slide into the future. Look at us. Look at you on this Zoom just staring there. We just debated. Chris Denman was on the call with us as we debated, well what if I use my phone? No but then your headphones don't work. But what if we do the zoom for the picture but then we record on our H6.

Oh my god. And then you're like, I'll use my iPhone but it's like the charge is going to run down quick if it's an hour and a half zoom. And then it's like, oh, but I can't put the headphones because Apple made the same goddamn jack for the headphones and the power. Yeah. Oh, so we're here. We're clear.

Did you get the ACV clip that we all sent around this morning? I can't watch all those clips you guys send around. I have a life. You should watch it. It's out there. It came across someone's Instagram. And maybe it's old, so I apologize. But it's Star Wars

and it's Darth Vader. And they recut this sick Darth Vader clip. And I think it's from Rogue. I've lost track of all the Star Wars. But they replaced the John Williams clip and with Hell's

Bells from ACDC. My favorite ACDC song. It is so kick ass. So I sent it to Hannah and I wrote and I go, a little context, I go, also a little backstory because without it it's very basic and bro and maybe it still is. But I go, but in eighth grade I thought ACDC was gone forever because their lead singer died and he was truly irreplaceable. And then all alone in my bedroom I lowered the needle on track one of ACDC's new album, which was just black in tribute to the singer.

And then there's nothing but a church bell and another and then another. And those bells were also a tribute to the singer. And then Angus's guitar slowly comes in and begins what many feel is one of the greatest rock albums ever. There is no conveying how big that album was, especially to a 14-year-old. Anyway, this still shows its power to me anyway. And then the lyrics.

As soon as you hear it. I'm rolling thunder, pouring rain, I'm coming on like a hurricane, white lightnings flashing across the sky, you're only young, but you're gonna die. Anyway, I'm bringing it up because, yeah. Because we talked about we talked about back in black I think last week of the week before

anyway I mean what a character to put on that song Darth Vader it's insane and this scene he's the most badass lightsaber just he must have killed 20 stormtroopers in this scene it And then basically chased the ship away. People will know what I'm talking about now. It was unbelievable. The clip will be on our website. As always, everything we say is clickable on the website. You don't put it on there, do you?

No. We do put our logo on. This week's logo. Wait, wait. One quick thing. One little follow-up, because this will give it meaning and not make it just selfish. So a friend of ours now happens to be the bassist of ACDC. Just went all over Europe with them.

He's an extraordinary musician and very popular. And so I said- Chris Cheney. Yeah, I guess we can say it's Chris Cheney. So I sent to Chris, I go, you know, this is what I wrote. And he wrote, and I sent him what I had sent to Hannah. And he goes, and Chris goes, I was 10 years old, changed my life. I'm definitely living in a dream. Not one second on stage ever feels any less surreal than the first note I played with them. Superheroes to me

then and now. Wow yeah he said it's unbelievable they you know they fly private they stay in the four seasons and the thing is the band doesn't play every night because they're in their 60s so they so they always have an extra day off in London or you know Copenhagen or wherever they are so So he's just living the life. And they fly his wife out anytime she wants to join him on tour. He also on those off days and all the time is hanging out with Angus a lot. And he goes, you know, Angus likes to hang with him.

Yeah. He goes out, you know, I was terrified because the meet your heroes moment. He's like, and he said, which has happened to me a million times in the world of music yeah and and he goes it's unbelievable and he shares stories that Chris knows he is told 10,000 times with excitement and he like it has a joy in sharing and Chris is just sitting there and Chris who knows everything about music has a million questions about how many tracks do they do it live do they ever use like you know what do they use in the studio how do they write

and he just said it's the best experience of his life. He just told me recently that most of their albums were done in a few takes. They go into the studio for like a week and do an entire album. No click track and I think all of their albums, but all of Back in Black he believes, have maybe three tracks. I could be wrong, but he's like a lot of them they did, they would lay it all down and then it would be voice

and then another layer of guitar, I think. Did you feel like that when you first were working with Daniel Tosh? I feel it in this podcast, actually. And like how we put this together today and the half hour of like grandpa talk between us on how to get this up and going. All right, our logo today. We're one track, we're, listen to us,

we're one track, no click, no click track. That's it, raw. And we never redo it, because we barely do it in the first place. Emily Neenan did today's logo, really, really. Thank you, Emily. Went deep. It's the Sunday paper's bingo

and the different slots on the bingo card are Mike's divorce, Greg almost blowing a guy, Fitz fact, ADHD meds wearing off, Tosh.0, Tosh.0 is one of the squares. I don't bring it up, you do! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha! That one anal retentive listener's corrections, used Mustang, Mike's closet, Greg's bad stock broker,

Philly hate, D-list celebrity name drop. Ha ha ha! Philly Hates, D-List Celebrity Name Drop. I think we've covered every one of those in the last development of the show. This is a great, now by the way, you have not sent me the logo yet, so I'm not seeing it, but. It wouldn't load into the dock from some roof. No, no, no, but this is a very cool idea.

I bet other people could come up with other bingo boards. Everyone stopped listening by now. Greg's anger issues, Ellen's show woes. Forgotting a name? Japanese Massage Parlor porn. Sorry, moved on. Yeah, that's going to be disputed, that one, because you came very close to it. How about what's his name? Just that phrase.

Do you know why I stopped watching Japanese massage porn? Is this a question or is this in the document? No, I'm asking you. I'm finally a racism caught up to you? No. Japan scrubbed the internet of Japanese massage porn. There were so many lawsuits that they took it off. But I guess Czechoslovakia maybe doesn't have the internet yet. I'm not sure what's happening, but enjoy it while it lasts. Czechoslovakia should open their borders to Japanese people and then start a move the whole operation to Eastern Europe.

Do you think, you know how black people say n-word please? Do you think at Czechoslovakia they go, check please? Interesting. That should have been for up top to grab the listeners. Our song this week is from Emmett Hall, who's a regular contributor, and we sang his praises a few weeks ago, and so he said as a thank you to our homage to him. He wrote us a new one, and it was very good. Thank you.

T. Emmett Hall. Love it. You ready for this? I'm ready for some tour dates. Are you ready for no corrections this week? Like literally, we didn't do anything wrong. I don't think that's what it means. Well, our people got lazy.

No, there were some, you know, I often go silent because I want to invite the corrections. I think I remember going silent a couple of times last week. Well, I should say I only respond to corrections that are sent to fitzdogradio at gmail.com. I think some might get sent. You handle the YouTube comments so there may be some there that you need to send to me so I can put them in the script. Okay well I'm gonna look that up now while you do tour dates. Okay I will be in Costa Mesa at Law Cave. I don't know if it's LA Cave or La Cave.

You should know that before you start saying it on stage. But it's October 24th, Costa Mesa. I'll be in Philly November 7th through the 9th at Helium. Eugene, Oregon November 13th. Tacoma in November 14th through 16 16. Then I'll be in Tempe, San Francisco, Cleveland, Janesville, Wisconsin, NIAC, Raleigh, Milwaukee, Vegas, Fontana, California, and just announced Comedy Store in La Jolla. Did I say Atlanta? Yeah, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Tampa.

It's crazy. This is the new hour tour. I'm touring all new materials so come out get tickets at FitsDog.com. Also did you find any yet? Yeah sure. It was Helene not Evelyn. No idea what that refers to. Oh for the hurricane. I was talking about how the hurricanes all have Jewish names. Yeah, there's a couple, hold on. Although I think Helene is also a Jewish name. What was the guy's name? What was the recent male name for the hurricane?

He was very Jewish. I don't know, I remember Bob. I loved how simple that one was remember the one in the 1980s hurricane Bob. I remember hurricane Bob and then when we were in college there was a really scary one that didn't hit at all we taped they made us tape all the windows in all the dorms on the entire campus. GLORIA GLORIA!

Oh right oh Milton was the recent hurricane. Yes that's right. Milton and Helena. Milton and Helena are coming over. Greg, while trying to think of the killer Skakelboy, Mike said Earl and you said no. Earl's a comic. You should have also mentioned Earl is also

Ethel Kennedy's nephew. Yeah. Okay. Let's nephew. Yeah. OK. She said that. Let's see. Blow. Well, this isn't a correction, but maybe I answer this guy, but you should know this. Hey, guys, my brother and I watch Blood Simple upon a Greg and Mike mutually agreed upon rec a few episodes ago.

We can't understand what is so good about this movie. Can you please address in a future podcast, please? We are in our 40s as well. As well as what? And still don't get it. Ha ha ha, we need some sort of explanation to get two hours of our lives back. I'll read what I wrote, so maybe it'll be shortcut,

some of what you'll say. I said, in my opinion, it's great throughout to think what each character wants and what they know, and then you see how all of them are wrong. But it got a lot of points for their noir style. Don't get me wrong, it's no country for old men. Thoughts, Greg? Yeah, I liked that they introduced

the kind of cinematography, yes, very film noir, but also it was confident filmmaking. They did artsy kind of shots, but they really framed the faces in a way that you see in all their movies. It's subtle. You absolutely fall in love with, what's her name? Who's the actress? Oh yeah, yeah, well, Future Wife.

Yeah, yeah, here's the bingo card. She has the worst name. What's her name? Nobody can ever remember her name and she's one of the biggest actresses in the country. Why is that? Some people just have bad names. Well, I have a list on my phone.

There's certain names. I have blocks against Francis McDormand. Francis McDormand. I have blocks. And it's because I've created the block. And then what happens is a little bit of panic comes in. And what I've learned is I'm so terrible with names. I have to really put aside time with my class to tell them, please don't be offended. Like if I could I'd force you to wear name tags. But when

a little panic comes in to someone with ADD, it's gone. Well yeah and then last night they always assign one server to come to the green room to get food and drinks for the comics that are in there. And it's kind of a good gig because, you know, I always tip them a lot every night. And so the server came in, she came in probably four times checking on us. You sure you don't need anything? End of the night, I go inside and this server is a plus size woman. And I walk into the kitchen and I see a plus-size woman and I hand her the money and I go, this is for you. And then she turns to her right and gives it to my actual

waitress and says, this is for you. Tell them large Marge sent ya. sent ya. I am so bad. Oh that was such a bad moment. That's one of those moments you remember it and you say something out loud to yourself. You have a physical movement and say something to yourself like you're a fucking idiot. Oh I've told you I mean a time ago, but it's worth repeating. But I have stopped now. I literally have to tell myself to stop. When I've done something like, I've forgotten someone's name, or I'm like, oh, fuck, whatever, when I then go

into the bathroom to the urinal and I see him alone, I'll be like, you fucking idiot. And I'll say that. And then I hear the fucking toilet rustle or like the toilet paper. I'm like, oh, shit. And now I want to say it more than ever there you go I'm gonna give you I'm gonna give you some descriptions of actors that I blocked their names and let me see if you can conjure their names because I believe

I'm not feeling good all right let me try some days you know with enough sleep I feel okay But go ahead. It's not that they're obscure. It's that they have the kind of names. You don't remember Okay, this guy played the man. I'm already I'm panicking already. It was the non-italian lawyer in the Godfather. Oh Yeah, he's from the Midwest Yeah, I gave him Robert Duvall. See? Yeah, yeah. I mean, Robert Duvall's a huge actor, and I get stuck on that name.

I had to picture him in Apocalypse Now to get his name. All right, the guy from the Deer Hunter who has kind of a long jaw and narrow eyes Wait, not John Voight. Not John Voight the other star Hold on De Niro Voight walking Who who describe them more? What else we see in? Hold on, I'm looking up Deer Hunter. I won't look it up, because it'll spoil our non-fun. I'm going to give you a couple... I hope everyone's playing them.

He's actually not in that movie. Okay. You see, AI can't write that. AI can't write what just happened. AI cannot write what just happened, no matter what. It can't imagine us, its creator, being that stupid, because it's damning to itself. I'm glad you can't see my face right now because it's red and I have tears coming through my

eyes. Yeah. You see, you finally look alive. Was there a bingo card for that? I doubt it. Listen, this, PrizePix is one of our big sponsors this week. We love Prize picks, why? Because it's a source of revenue for me.

Not many of our sponsors, I mean they all pay us, but then this is like I make more money by actually using it. Best place to get real money, sports action. They've got 10 million. Oh, the place to have fun, come on now. 10 million members, billions of dollars in awarded winnings. It's fantasy sports.

You pick more or less on at least two players and you can win up to 100 times your cash. It's I do it and I love more or less because I have a really good sense. I don't know what it is like. have a really good sense. I don't know what it is.

I'm really good in suicide pools. I've managed to win mine twice. And I don't know, and I don't research. I just go with my gut. And I've got some picks for next week. I don't know what you guys have lined up. But I'm seeing, wait, wait hold on I had the figures and by the way they they now have the flex play which means you can still cash out if

your lineup isn't perfect oh right right you can double your money even if one of your picks doesn't hit how about that right and they've got they've got, they've got, what else? They're in over 30 states, including California, Florida, Georgia, and Tejas. If you want to get involved, you can win 100 times your money, and then also, here are some picks that I have for next week. Justin Jefferson on the Minnesota Vikings will get more than 83.5, 83.5 yards. Oh, that.5 is very important. You never say.5, you say a half. I don't know why, but they asked me specifically in the read not to say.5. So it's a half. I believe Christian McCaffrey, he's back, so I think he's

gonna run more than 75 and a half yards. Nice. You win real money, you also get your money quick. There's fast safe withdrawals, they're secure, when the pick hits you get your money as quickly as 15 minutes. Guess what else? If you sign up today, you get $50 instantly when you play just $5. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed. So download the app today and use CodePapers to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Again, download the app today, use code PAPERS, get $50 instantly after you play for the first $5 lineup.

And look, prize picks. Run your game. Okay. Do you want to talk about ground news? Yeah, I'm actually going on the site because our lead story is going to be Bush at the funny dinner that they have. Bush. Bush.

I can't write that. Hey, I can't write that you missed the last three administrations on that presidential guest. You know our Georgia man story has to do with it with a former president and so I was actually thinking about Bush today that's no excuse. I'm always thinking about Bush that's why I have to download Czechoslovakian hidden camera porn. Check please check Bush please. So I'm looking to see if it's in here. Yeah, you go. All right, you look it up, I'll set this up.

So listen, you and I, we do a podcast about the news. We go out of our way to not alienate listeners based on political stances. We feel like we want to deliver news. We feel that you're all snowflakes and you can't handle it, both sides. Sorry, go ahead. Well, yeah, there's that. I always feel like one side is annoying. One political party

is annoying. You don't have to elaborate on this. You probably are bummed I brought it up. And the other one is overreacting to how annoying the first one is. That's my breakdown of all politics right now. So if you want to get both sides of the news in a way that allows you to take on a topic or a story from multiple perspectives and also have the background of the news source you're getting. So you know if it's corporate finance, if it's grassroots, if it's traditionally a left wing or a right wing news source, it tells you about blind spots in the news, which means like a story might come up that the right doesn't want publicized,

or the left doesn't want publicized. They call it a blind spot, which just makes you go like alright Well, this this story is something that she maybe you need to read about if you're if you're from that side We have split headlines and If you go to groundworks.com Slash SP you get 40% off the vantage plan, which lets you go a little bit deeper You did you find your story? No, you know, it's not on the homepage, but I found an interesting story on the drones. But no, but the Al Smith dinner...

I got a couple stories right now. Here's the thing. But here's an example. If I was to do this, I know you could find these. So the Al Smith dinner is both candidates are supposed to go and it's supposed to be almost like the press corps dinner where it's really funny. Jim Gaffigan was the comedian and Kamala had a scheduling conflict and she didn't show. And Trump complained about that a lot. And he was like, you know, it wasn't easy for me to get here, but you don't miss this

thing. So anyway, the news, I'm sure Fox News or right leaning news would be like, Kamala offends, you know, by standing them up, offends the Al Smith dinner and the Catholics, because it's a Catholic night as well. And then the left would probably be like, Kamala Harris sends hysterical video with Mary Catherine Gallagher assisting

to deliver the laughs. That would be an example. Well, here's an example. This was about how Trump and Kamala are both in Michigan, stumping, and it shows you how it's viewed from the right and the left. In this case, you've got, it tells you the amount of people. There are 46 news sources covering this story

just on this app, it's amazing. Nine of them are from the left, seven are from the right, 30 are from the center, and the one that I found from the right is Breitbart, and it says, it tells you it's from the right and it says mixed factuality as I guess they do fact-checking and it says Arab Americans are lining up to vote for Trump in Michigan that's their headline

and then from the left which is the AP wire it says Harris and Trump seek Arab American votes in Michigan in effort to shore up battleground states. That doesn't feel like it's that far from the left, but I guess the AP is considered more left. And so it lets you do that, and it's just a great way to feel like at the end of the day, you're not in an echo chamber, as they call it, and you're sort of like identifying

maybe where the real story is. So ground news is a perfect sponsor for us because it helps us share our stories with you. Go to groundnews.com slash sp to get 40% off the ground news vantage plan which will unlock access to all of their news analysis features. I think ground news is doing important work and I hope you'll check them out that's ground g-r-o-u-n-d dot news forward slash SP you got something to crinkle there Mike Gibbons yeah yeah but you know just kind of a news before we get into our top story it's actually a really good site just for news. So I'm in here now we're this is even part of the promo, but did you see the footage of the

Hamas leader who was ex who was blown up Was did he have a pager on killed by Israeli forces? No, no, no, but just as high-tech So I went on the New York Times site, said they had video. I'm like, what? So there's picture of him in a like, it looks like a really shelled out like apartment in this building. And he's bleeding from one arm and he's sitting in a chair. And it's by the way, I only saw a still photo, but it's video. So get this, I think part of his wall was blown out like where the window was. He looks over a drone and his really drone comes down

and identifies him and he starts raising a stick. And he, by the way, he stares at the drone for 20 seconds and then he throws the stick and then the drone just goes away, and then the building is blown up. Damn. Now the drone didn't blow up the building, but the drone informed.

Identified. Yeah, so get this. On the front page right now of ground news, drone from Lebanon targets Netanyahu's house yeah so it's a new type of war and man have you seen those the drone shows out of China where 10,000 drones are in the air at the same time what dude no no all right we're gonna do this story next week, so I'll only say this about it. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. And then at

one point, by the way, it creates this building in the sky, like a Times Square, and the building has a giant screen, video screen, like Times Square would, and on the video screen, video screen like Times Square would and on the video screen, video is playing because the drones are doing that also. Oh my gosh. No, it's unbelievable. But let's get into it. What? All right.

Let's do it. Extra, extra, we are the bodies. Extra. Crickle a pig. For God's sake. Oh, dude, Google. We're 45 minutes into the podcast. Oh, dude, Google. We're 45 minutes into the podcast and that's the first news story.

We've had a good time. Okay, so the Al Smith dinner, I watched it. I was watching it last night and I just decided to take some notes. Okay, it's funny on so many levels. Not really the typical funny level, but there's meta levels to this. Anyway, Gaffigan was up there, and he was being an equal opportunity offender,

and he hit Kamala for not being there and all that stuff. But his last joke, and a couple of them were awkward, like where he would say, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have, you know, skip that one prompter, like he would do that. But he goes, so before I bring up President Trump, I just want to say that, you know, he talked about the migrants taking cats, taking cats and eating them. So if you're keeping track, this is the second time grabbing a kitty has been a campaign issue Right He's two feet away from Trump and and you then because the camera I was watching a like a feed they had so the camera

Was an on Gaffigan and all of a sudden you hear and I think it was his wife Like I thought you were gonna skip what he goes. I should have I should have Like she was a perfect straight man, kind of. That's awesome. So Trump gets up there. He, of course, is rambling. And the first thing he says is, they told me there's no prompters. There's no way to have prompters.

And then this guy comes up, pointing the gaff again, and there's a prompter. And it's literally like he wants an answer. He's looking over at the cardinal. He's like, well, you said I and there's a prompter and it's literally like he wants an answer. He's looking over at the cardinal and he's like, well, you said I couldn't do a prompter. Anyway, I guess they don't like the candidates use a prompter. So he's going off notes. You know how he half re, he does not do anything word for word. So anyway, he goes, these are just a couple of things. Many of you are New York

liberals here tonight from the Democrat Party. And he's like Chuck, because Schumer is literally right to his left. He's like Schumer doesn't like that. I say Democrat wants me to say democratic, but I say Democrat because it sounds worse. Like that's not a joke. You're saying exactly what it is. And then he does another one and he goes, does anyone understand that? That was, I thought it was very good until just now. And then he just goes on. And then another one, he goes, all right, you know, only a few people got that. By the way, what he read made zero sense. He skipped, he clearly skipped a sentence. So he's like, only a few people got that. Nobody got that one. And then he goes, childcare plan. This is great.

He goes, childcare plan that Kamala has. All I have to say is don't let your husband dug anywhere near the nannies. And everyone started like kind of booing a little bit. And then he goes, that's a nasty one. That's nasty. I told these idiots that gave me this stuff, that's too tough. They told me the last time I did this, I was running against crooked Hillary,

and I did the nasty jokes, and people didn't like it. And anyway, he called them idiots who wrote his jokes. -♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, the where I forced him to do a self-deprecating joke. And then he does it, and he looks right at me, and he points to his face, and he goes, self-deprecating. And that was on TV. And then he gets, the last thing I'll say is, oh, he goes, yeah, Crooked Hillary, crazy, all the nicknames were out, and these were not written

for him, Crazy Nancy, Crooked Hillary, and then he goes, have you seen the view, this stupid show, The View? It's so bad. And then he goes on about that, that he misses, he wants, what's her name back, who he hates, to come back to The View. Joy Behar. Rosie O'Donnell. Oh, yes. And then he goes, and then one mayor is here, who is the worst mayor in New York? And I'm

like, is this going to be a joke? He's like, I'm not talking about Mike, meaning Bloomberg, who was also there. He goes, de Blasio. He was a terrible mayor. I don't care if this is comedy or not. He did a horrible job. That's not comedy, by the way. That's a fact.

That's not comedy, by the way. He's 10 feet away from the guy. All right, let's do this next one. Okay, Bay Area Startup claims it developed two-way communication between people via dreams. The Redwood City Startup says it reached the milestone this month with the technology to link two people in a lucid dream state.

It achieved the communication again this week. Lucid dreaming is the state in which you're asleep, but also aware you're dreaming. So the guy goes, for example, when this participant found himself in a lucid dream, our server sent him a random word, so nobody knew what the word would be. And in a lucid dream he replied. Our

server detected his reply and confirmed that it was right and when the next person found herself in a lucid dream we sent his answer to her and she repeated it as well. The communication is achieved through a special device that attaches itself to different areas on the head. When you talk in this language in your dreams, we can hear you and we can... This is when you're talking in your dream, Greg. This thing can hear you and we can connect two dreamers together. They submitted the work for peer review and they're now looking for locals to participate in further studies.

So if I do not put this story in chat GPT this week and tell it to write a thriller based on these dream experiences where while unconscious, people are talking to each other, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, right, right. Wait, so it's just for dreamers. So what thoughts are they gonna share?

Like, what are we gonna do if Trump wins the election? We're only 17. We were born here. What should we do? I wanna hear you imitate Czech people now that you're watching so much of them. How about Czech dreamers? They're dreamers too. Yeah, they dream of getting to

To Greece to Japan So anyway, yeah, I don't have to do the Jeff and Jenny story But on the wedding night my stepbrother and stepsister We all shared a room was the first time meeting my stepbrother. I guess I am telling the story they My stepbrother, I guess I am telling the story, they talked to each other while dreaming. And Laura and I looked at each other like, what the fuck has my father done? You mean out loud they talked to each other?

Yes, she was like, splash, splash, stop, stop. And he's like, no, no. Like, he answered her, they were both asleep. Wow. So that was out loud, which is even freakier than what's going on in this experiment. After shattering more than a hundred locations across the country and filing for chapter 11, Red Lobster has hired a new CEO. The

embattled franchise has been around for 56 years. This person, Damala Adamo, Locoon 535 as voices passion for the brand I guess is the new CEO This is without exaggeration one of the most important companies in American history He said his first major step towards rescuing red lobster is to eliminate one of its most iconic menu items $20 endless shrimp which was first launched in most iconic menu items, $20 endless shrimp, which was first launched in 2004. The company has lost an estimated $20 million in 2023 when endless shrimp became a permanent year round menu option.

Yeah, and the hospital around the corner has a $20 all you can eat jello in the stroke unit. It's not gonna be $20 for endless shrimp within reason. Within reason. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Kevin Meany used to have a joke where he goes, all you can eat, you're not supposed to eat all you can eat.

It's such an American thing. Oh, totally. To eat all you can eat. Yeah. No, it's as if literal whales came through and the shrimp were planked in. It's just wiping out the whole salad bar. Can we talk about the elephant in the liver room or should we say the black person in Red Lobster?

What? It is a very black clientele at Red Lobster? Well, it depends on what part of the country too, but I think a lot of people are gaming this system In fact, it's called Red Lobster because the lobsters are blushing. They're so embarrassed by the people who go to Red Lobster By the way, they're the worst fucking shrimp. They're like they're like the Special Olympics of shrimp They don't look like they've ever exercised. Yeah like they're like the Special Olympics of shrimp. They don't look like they've ever exercised. Yeah, they're runts. Yeah, what kind of shrimp are these? Oh, they're runts shrimp. They're shrimp that even their mothers wouldn't feed. Yeah. All right. One man had his lifetime

first class ticket on American Airlines cancelled after years of racking up over 21 million dollars in flights. Stephen Rothstein had his ticket revoked with American. They were looking for a new revenue stream so it introduced the AA Air Pass in 1981. $250,000 would get you unlimited first-class travel for a lifetime. Only 66 people bought the ticket. He enjoyed trotting around the globe. He became great friends with the crew. And then he was grounded in 2007 because the airline was losing so much money. They said he was costing them a million dollars a year. Meanwhile, I'm being gouged $900 to fly to Cleveland with no seat assignment, no overhead

carry-on. I think they're doing okay. I think they're making their money back. Well, I remember, here we are with names. Mark Cuban has told the story when he first sold whichever one, I don't know if it was the big one he sold, but the first time he came into millions of dollars, he asked airlines, I don't know,

it might've been American. He goes, is there any lifetime ticket I can buy? And they're like, there sure is. And it might have been this. Yeah. He was one of the 66. I doubt they took Mark Cubans away. So they're taking that away.

And they're also on American Airlines first class. They're taking away all you can eat, red lobster, shrimp. Now, did they ever take away just giving you tickets at all, even charging you for what you do disgracefully on airplanes, which should be another bingo card entry? I enjoy. I get very turned on when I fly. I don't know if it's a high altitude or whatever, but it just pops up like a like a turkey like a turkey thermometer we get to 10,000 feet boom anyway that's your version of a panic

attack that's what's happening I think it is self-soothing absolutely as you attack yourself in a panic speaking of getting turned on the Girl Scouts of the USA are gonna raise their prices, not for their cookies, for their membership. It's going from $25 a year to $85 per Scout. They're trying to improve program delivery for current and future members. They say that it's the largest source of revenue.

They get $38 dollars a year from their two million total members, but they're losing money. So you know maybe here's my solution. Send these girls out, forget just selling the cookies. Weeds legal in most states. What a pairing. You talk about like a pasta with a certain wine. How about an eighth of chronic with nine boxes of thin mints? Or combined. They're combined also. Oh I like that. Girl Scout selling pot cookies. Yep and then they hang out with you. You know because you ever get high and hang out with little kids. It's fucking great, because they just want to play. I'm going to say no.

I'm going to say no. I'm officially going to say no. I don't enjoy that or do it. Let's move on to entertainment. Wait, by the way, no, they're also raising the price, because they've finally had the sense to arm the Girl Scouts with mace as they send little girls in skirts knocking door to door in neighborhoods.

Yes, or sitting outside of a fucking 7-Eleven where there's just tons of homeless people. Yeah. Are you kidding me? All right, let's go on entertainment. Here we go. All right. The first openly transgender Victoria's Secret model fired back at critics after she made her historic runway debut. On Tuesday, Valentina Sempeo stepped out into the lingerie extravaganza in Brooklyn alongside fellow transgender model Alex Consani.

Marked the first time transgender women were ever featured in this iconic show. Not all people supported it. The Brazilian model said walking the runway after its six year absence was a dream come true. Forget Victoria, sounds like Valentina was one of the ones with a secret for a while too. Here's the biggest secret ever,. Victoria, what are you doing?

Victor. Victor's secret. That's what it should be. That's the new catalog. Victor's secrets. The secret is that Victor's thong has electrical tape on the inside. Where was this when I was younger? I might have stopped, it might have helped the time I spent with the catalog. No offense, it's just not my thing. I think I would have been thinking a little too much.

That's what it would have been. Yeah, I mean, you always feel a little bit ashamed, but then you feel confused and ashamed. And by the way, people have been transitioning in that fashion show for 30 years. They go from women to whores in five minutes. That's what it should be, Victor's Secret. And it's all the women who have trans,

they've, I want to say transferred, they've transitioned to men and then they get their own catalog Oh the former the former hottie women are now hottie men in their own catalog Victor's secret Yep Victor's secret. I wonder if there's ever a strip club that is for transitions people man, because you know like Jim Norton got married to a that is for transitioned people. That because, you know, like Jim Norton got married to a trans woman and she's wonderful.

And I think- Are they still married? I don't know about that. Yeah, they're very happily married. She's amazing. I just hung out with them in New York. And she was born a male? Correct.

I don't even know if I didn't say that sentence. That's what a transition woman is. Is it that complicated? Well, Jim's complicated, so I didn't know. I didn't know what was going on. Guess who else has transitioned? Ben Affleck's hair and beard makeover is just the tip of the iceberg

as he's decided to overhaul his life from top to bottom now that he's single. His ex, Jennifer Lopez, is very upset that he never took care of himself like this when they were married. He's famous for his frumpy look, a sweater and a five o'clock shadow. Now he's going out of his way.

He is dyeing his hair, getting manicures and pedicures, wax from head to toe, hair plugs. He's going to the dermatologist for skin treatments to turn back the clock. Look, none of that matters. Has he scrubbed the annoying Boston accent? Look, sweetie, I got nice fingernails. I got nice toenails.

You're unfuckable. The reviews from Boston are already in and it said, you fucking queer. By the way, you're Ben Affleck. If you're worth $90 million, do you really need to shave to get some pussy? He's also, here's Lopez making it about herself. How about he is starting to show his age and all of them are getting work.

Bradley Cooper with the plugs. All those rags like people and us on the cover, they all have the before and after for Brad Pitt as well. Brad Pitt's had all this work done on his face. All the leading guys are hanging on. Are you kidding me? It's amazing how Rob Lowe looks right now. I mean it's uncanny how good that guy looks. Well here's the thing. It's like when I was watching Butch and Sundance with Sophie, I was like I didn't want her to see what Robert Redford looks like now nor

I didn't want her to see what Robert Redford looks like now, nor Paul, whatchamacallit. Paul Newman's dead, isn't he? Right, Paul Newman, right, exactly. Especially him. But I don't want her to see his son damaged. It's like you want them, and now let's say who is it for us? Is it Brad Pitt? Any of these good looking guys? It's like yes, please dye your hair. Like you're a little bit of a canary in the coal mine

for us. Like you're an easy, too easy way for us to see how old we are. That's true. Good point. Who is your gay hall pass? Paul Newman or Robert Redford in that movie? Now that I'm older I'd say it's Newman but I think Redford was the simply the more classic beauty. Yeah. You know what I mean? Did you see that documentary about Paul Newman? No I have to see that. Oh my god it's's pretty amazing. First of all, he went to the neighborhood playhouse, which is where I went, and I didn't realize everybody that went to my acting school.

He was there at the same time as James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, there was two other huge names that were all there at the same time. Shirley from Poseidon Adventure and a day in the sun or something. Shirley? Not Shirley. I think it is Shirley. Hold on.

She used to hang out at that diner in Hollywood every day. The silver spoon. The silver spoon. Yeah, she was there every day and you could walk up and talk to her. See I get names when there's no pressure on me. Shelly Winters. Yes so all right let's let's make America Florida. Hold on one sec Shelly Winters I gotta look up up, what was the movie? She was in A Place in the Sun, that's what it was. I think that started as a play.

Was it Tennessee Williams play? A Place in the Sun? Yeah. I don't know, but Montgomery Clift. Montgomery Clift, baby! All right, here we go. Oh, maybe I'm thinking of a raisin in the sun. And we are going to make America Florida.

All right. Guess who added another mugshot to the collection? We talked about them last week and we showed the mugshots. Viral Florida man, Lieutenant Dan, arrested again. Lieutenant Dan made it through the storm unscathed and he's gotten plenty of offers, by the way, from his 15 minutes of fame. There was a GoFundMe set up for Lieutenant Dan and raised nearly 50 grand and a streamer offered to buy the man a new $100,000 boat.

Lieutenant Dan managed to land a deal with the streaming platform Kick and then promptly dropped a racial slur during his first stream. Hey now. And now in another surprising twist, he's back behind bars. Lieutenant Dan was arrested this morning

on two outstanding warrants for failure to appear. They should know by now that this guy just ain't showing up for court and he was also charged with a misdemeanor trespassing charge Are the charges are pretty solid the DA says he doesn't have a leg to stand on Why make that joke is it necessary? The lieutenant Dan is missing what that's how he got his name missing one of his legs And by the way, if you're gonna raise money for this guy

Boat or leg where do you want to spend the money? I Mean if if Rob Lowe is getting I tux. I think you'd go with leg Yeah an advice to the streaming platform, if you're gonna have a Florida man be one of your talent, you need a seven second delay. You need a sensor on that button, full time. The Florida Five, they call it. And by the way, why is he even being arrested?

Because isn't he in international waters? Isn't floating eight feet from a dilapidated dock in St. Pete, isn't that international waters? No, you have to go further out. Otherwise, they'd all gamble right there in the intercoastal. Right. You kidding me?

Yeah, no. I remember when we talked about if we ever went on cruises during the whole love boat craze. When I was very little, my dad took my sister on a cruise. And then I remember how big the announcement was about an hour outside of Miami. They're like the blackjack tables are open. Like they hit the whatever it is, the border, the line where then you were in international waters and you can gamble.

What's going on in Georgia? OK, it's a new category. Georgia man, former president Jimmy Carter cast his ballot in the presidential race in Georgia on Wednesday, the second day of early voting in his home state, where records early voting records are being shattered by the way. He voted by mail, the Carter Center said, fulfilling his wish to live long enough to vote in this election. Carter turned 100 earlier this month, becoming the first former president in U.S. history to do so.

He has been in hospice care at his home in Plains, Georgia since February. Carter lost his wife Rosalynn in November after 77 years of marriage. He attended his late wife's memorial in a wheelchair. Carter had told a family member that he was only trying to make it to vote in this election. And that was according to his great, no his grandson Jason Carter. So anyway I'm just kind of excited about you have a funny joke here but I just thought this was such a nice story. It's beautiful but I got it you got to look at the, I'm surprised the guy's got time because after being sing, he's single for the first time in 77 years you'd think he'd be focused entirely on trying to get some pussy getting his peanut getting

his peanut into Georgia Peach don't you think that's what I think of when I especially see Jimmy Carter now yeah I'm like that guy it's a peanut shell with only one nut in it probably at this point but that's why I was thinking of Bush earlier is because I don't know, one of the things I liked about this is just whether it was Bush senior even, because I know it's like a bit of Stockholm syndrome that I would do anything for him to be president at this point, but it's like there was a dignity.

Like these guys actually like felt shame and it was just such a more gentlemanly and polite discourse at that level in our government. Yeah, I just read Jimmy Carter's biography and he was he was a hard ass, though he came off very sweet, not in a bad way, but he was very demanding. He's the kind of guy that got up at 5am and he worked nonstop. He was very demanding. He's the kind of guy that got up at 5 a.m. and he worked nonstop. And he really got kind of fucked by his circumstances

in some ways. But he made a couple big mistakes and he really paid. But I mean, yeah, I mean, of course you're a doer. If you go from dirt poor farmer in Georgia all the way to the White House, yeah, you're driven. There's no doubt about it. Speaking of driven, how about the Yankees and the Dodgers and the Mets and the fucking Cleveland, whatever Cleveland's name is. Oh my god, the commanders. The Temptations opened up game five of the NL Championship in New York with a rendition of My Girl, which this season has served as the walk-up music

for New York Mets shortstop Francisco Lindor, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted R&B group, which still features founding member Otis Williams. Otis, my man, the last surviving original temptation. The whole stadium sang along and I see it's great because there's so many of these old bands and singers and their lyrics just they're still touring but some of the songs you can't really sing as an old man like I don't know if Gary Puckett is still singing young girl get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. You better run girl. You're much too young girl. Remember that

one? Imagine that guy at 78 singing that in a fucking Indian casino in Tulsa. By the way no need to send a correction, I was joking about the Guardian. They're the Guardians. What did I just call the, I call the Commanders, is the other Native American misstep rename that has happened. By the way, you think Ringo Starr is singing, you come on like a dream, peaches and cream, lips like strawberry wine, you're 16, you're beautiful in your mind. Okay, when the ACDC clip that we were talking about went around our text chain earlier, Mikey talked about his memory of being in this girl's basement when they were like in middle school or high school you know playing kissing games and all that and with cranking AC

DC and he goes I just remember like let me put my love into you their song off back in black and here are some of the lyrics to let me put my love into you. Don't you struggle, don't you fight. Don't you worry, cause it's your turn tonight. Let me put my love into you, babe. Let me put my love on the line. Let me put my love into you, babe. Let me cut your cake with my knife. Yeah. You know what's great is that line they rode they never their metaphors were so fucking blunt

but then you hear the band Darkness you ever heard Darkness from Australia? Yeah. And they take it a step further. I wouldn't say they're an ACDC parody, but they're very ACDC influenced. Fucking amazing band musically, but even funnier than ACDC. Just to avoid, I'm taking away people's joy on your Fitzfax. The darkness is from Britain. Really? Yeah. Oh. All right. International? Now let's do this day in history. You got it. Hold on. That can be very international. Here we go. This day

in history. I remember seeing a couple of good ones here. Let's see, let's see. We have, you know Napoleon too well, but hold on. Pope John Paul II, beautified? Be-ate-ified. What is it? I think it's be-ate-ified, isn't it? I used to know the word, and now I looking at it's the most foreign thing ever. Beatified? Such a weird word.

Mother Teresa, she had won the 1979 Nobel Peace Prize for her charity work, but Pope John Paul II sainted her, that's the word I'm going to use, on this day in what year, give or take three years? I'm going to say the same year that the Mets won the World Series, 1986. 2003. No! Pope John Paul II, bro. That's why I only gave you a seven year window.

Damn. Off to a terrible start. 17 years, Jesus. Jesus H. Australia's Sydney Opera House designed by the Danish architect Jørn Oltsson, whose dynamic imaginative, whose dynamic imaginative but problematic, won an international competition. I can't say it. It was, anyway, on this day, in what year did it open? I'm going to go, what's my range? Oh, give or take, sorry.

Give or take seven years. I'm going to say 1974. Jeepers! 1973. Nice! I can't see if you're cheating though because you're not live. No, no, I am not. I would never cheat on this because it's too much fun to get it as wrong as I get it sometimes.

By the way, when I was reading it, the imaginative but problematic plan won an international competition in 1957. Look at that. That was 10, 16 years before it opened. I was just kind of thinking about the design. It was post-Art Deco. 70s was kind of like ostentatious a little bit. I'm giving you a five-year window for this. So it's give or take two years. A plane carrying the southern rock band Leonard Skinnerd crashed in Gillsburg, Mississippi, killing singer Ronnie Van Zandt and guitarist Steve Gaines, among others. What happened on this day and what year give or take two years?

Damn, that's tight. Yeah, not really a five year window. When do you think they were around? Five year window? When do you think they were around? I'm going to say 1977. It was actually 1977. No it wasn't. It was. Nice. And you said I gave you a too tight a window. Good Lord. Give or take two years.

That's generous. Former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy married Greek shipping magnet Aristotle Anasus. Huh. Can you tell me that was in the 70s? I'll say 1983. Oh boy, 1968. No! Your Mrs. are the worst they've ever been.

Jesus. But you got one on the nose too. Wait, so she married him five years after Kennedy died? Disgraceful. Kennedy's don't cry. Damn. Let's see. None of these are really good.

Not good. You would get these like the Nixon-Kennedy debate. I'm looking for one more. I'm in other days now. The week, it's this week. You know, the Cuban missile crisis, you know, all this shit. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. Here we go. Okay. Kennedy debate was 1960, I'm guessing. Give or take 30 years. French artist Paul Cezanne, considered one of the greatest of the post-impressionists, died at the age of 67, give or take 30 years. When did Cezanne die? 1983. 1906. And we're gonna go out on that one. I thought you were gonna guess 1810. I thought the Impressionists were like the turn of the century.

He's post-Impressionist. Yeah, but that's even later. He would be even older if he's post-Impressionist. Here we go. Letters to the editor Hello Greg and Mike and Allison to I have I've had a severe non contagious bizarre initially misdiagnosed viral infection Since September 6th, I'll spare you the gory details. I can hardly walk I can get to work and sit and do my job, which is a nice distraction from the pain I used to run around like an ADHD chicken, always looking for things to do with my physical and mental energy. Now I have to carefully

consider each time I get up the choreography of where I will go and what I will do before I have to sit down again. It's a bit of a mindful practice to look for gratitude. But the nights are so long and hard and I thank you for the podcast and companionship and humor and compassion and silliness and honesty. It has helped me more than I can express. This too shall pass. Love from your fans, Suzy." Oh, we're glad we can help and Suzy, listen, it's all in your fucking head bitch. Just get up and walk around. Get up Suzy. Yeah. Wake up, Suzie! Just, yeah, just do it! Wake up, little Suzie! Just do it! That is a very moving note to get.

Thank you, Suzie. Suzie, we're totally joking. So sorry for whatever the hell this is. Jesus. It's something to have ADHD. It's one thing if you have depression, and then this happens to you, you're like, alright, perfect fit. Binge TV, sleep 16 hours a day. When you're a hyper person, oh my God, that must make it so much harder.

I wonder if it's some avian flu because she was an ADHD chicken. Maybe that predisposed her to this illness. Yes, maybe it's salmonella. No, but Suzy, that's a very sweet note. Thank you. And good luck, and I hope you're getting better. This is a bad transition, but let's get to obituaries. Poor Suzy's on her way. You know, we didn't really cover Pete Rose,

but Dickie had a funny joke two weeks ago when Pete Rose died, which was, the real tragedy is Pete had himself in the Deadpool. Cause he's a gambler. That's great. That's a great joke. Did he write that for somebody or he just thought? I don't think there's anyone to write for anymore, Greg. Oh, that's a great trick. Did he write that for somebody or he just thought? I don't think there's anyone to write for anymore, Greg.

Oh, that's a good one. OK, a bit sadly, in pain, former singer for the popular British boy band One Direction died on Wednesday after falling from a third floor balcony at a hotel in Buenos Aires. Sounds like he was only going in one direction on that one. I'm not saying at all he would even recognize me in a lineup, but I worked with him a few times because at James Corden,

they were friends of the show. And we did. We played dot. We filmed the thing where One Direction played dodgeball. We took them to a gym nearby. And all of them were so nice. Truly, truly, though. They were so respectful and almost awestruck at their

own success. So anyway, I don't have to read all this, but there's New York Times did a what we know, you know, so far. And there was a 911 call and he was trashing his room. The 911 call was from a hotel employee who was concerned that maybe he would hurt himself because he seemed out of sorts and then he was destroying the room. And then there's no narcotics and alcohol in the room. There's no suspicion that anyone else is involved. There was no defensive injuries, but boy, he was racked up on the pavement. And it was interesting, the autopsy then from that evidence of how badly injured he was racked up on the pavement. And it was interesting, the autopsy then from that evidence

of how badly injured he was when he hit that there was zero effort to break his fall, even just reflexes. So they're wondering if he was unconscious maybe when he fell. I wonder if you fall from that height 25 floors and you were still conscious. Three floors. Oh three floors. Okay. Then I can see trying to break the ball. But what were you saying? I was wondering like if you're from 25 floors and somehow you're still conscious, do you think you'd put your arms out before you hit the ground to try to stop to try to like make it better? I don't know. Why don't you watch the-eleven footage that you're always watching and see

if those guys did it. Let's get on to the funnies. Let's cheer up. Well why do we have to cheer up from people jumping out of the twin towers? Lock horns. She's. Wait, hold on. Tons of comments on the YouTube page that we did not do the caption this contest last week. We apologize. Last week we also had technical difficulties in the sense that Mike was running about half a day late maybe six hours late for the taping and we're a little discombobulated. Oh yes, yes, yes.

Today's your turn. So we had to keep it short because... Sorry, my apologies to everybody. I had a show. So anyway, we'll get, oh God, and I didn't pick one for, I'm gonna pick, I have one, no, I don't have one for this week, fuck. Wait, did you have one in for last week? I can go get it while you're talking. I didn't put one in for last week.

You did not. But I will find one as you are doing Want me to do the Lock Horns? Oh shit, I just lost the script. I don't know their name This is a perfect example I forget their names Leroy Loretta is cooking it looks like on a grill. Yeah, they're outside and she has her back to Leroy and then Leroy. Loretta is cooking. It looks like on a grill. Yeah, they're outside. And she has her back to Leroy. And then Leroy is digging in on his plate on the picnic table. And he goes, is this the steak or the charcoal? It's a pretty good one. And then in the next frame,

Loretta is looking at a book and Leroy's sitting at a table again. She's standing by the table and, oh, he looks like what he's eating is disgusting. And she's looking in a cookbook and she goes, that's what went wrong. I accidentally skipped a page. That's, you know, that's interesting because she's kind of admitting it.

I would see that one, the Lockhorn style would normally be like, take a look again, I bet you actually accidentally skipped a page. Like he would say that to her, right? Yeah, or he opens the book and two pages are stuck together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So here's another one. God's three in a row where she's standing

and it's at a table where he's sitting and eating. And then she goes to him. The trouble, the trouble with you is that you just sorry. The trouble with you is that you judge food too much by its taste. Again, she's kind of hitting herself. These are interesting ones. All right, I have a cartoon for next week. It is, it's a dock.

It's one of those fishing docks. The guy standing there getting his photo taken with a giant whale, and the whale kind of is hung so that its mouth is open. You can see how big it is. And in the background, there's two other sharks and they're talking to each other and they're watching what's happening on the dock.

And what are they saying to each other? So I see what they're saying. Now each week, I'm wondering- I'm gonna take that out in post. I understand. I'm wondering if we should tell people what what was in the original. Oh okay, yeah that's good. But some people have sent them into us and it's already been like you know edited out. Yeah, by the way if you want to send original

artwork for this segment we love it. A few of them have been original art sometimes I go out and I find them from other places, but This is a good one. So send those in to FitzDogg radio at gmail.com please put your name directly under your submission and And we'll read it next week the winner gets a koozie Well, listen, I'm getting sad because we are at number three Well listen, I'm getting sad because we are at number three in the countdown of the ten best Garfields ever. This one has like seven frames.

So on the first one Garfield's there and he's just you know he's looking pretty glum I think that's his look with his eyes half closed and he hears slam off screen. Then John walks in, apparently that was the door, and he goes, want to hear about my date with Liz? And Garfield thinks, do I have a choice? Which John hears I think. And then John says, we were in the car staring into each other's eyes. Next frame, I reached out to turn on the car radio but pushed the lighter instead. Next frame. I reached out to turn on the car radio but pushed the lighter instead. Next frame. Then it popped out into my lap. I screamed and jumped. My head went through the car roof. The airbags went off and the horn stuck. Next frame. He's looking just as glum and

eyes half closed as Garfield and he goes, sigh, which means he said sigh, because that's how it's written. Yeah. Okay, so then John says in the final frame, I've never been thrown out of a drive-in movie before. And Garfield, unmoved by all of this, thinks slash says, you have a rare and special gift John Arbuckle Huh

third best of all Time yeah, well the old I was in a public place tag Yeah, yeah Well, you know, it's all about the characters, Mike. It's all, it's not just the jokes. It's who Garfield is. He's, he's really a, he's a sardonic cat. I mean, it would have been better if it was like I pulled off my pants, she took off hers, we were going to town, she then like stuck out of the sun roof and was screaming and that's the first time

I got to get out of a drive-in movie. Yeah. How many drive-in movies is he going to that it's remarkable it's the first time he's been thrown out of one? And who has a car lighter anymore? What year was this written in? Yeah.

Also, this wouldn't have been that distracting. It wouldn't have gone on. I don't think would have escalated beyond that All right, here's one. That's I always feel a little creepy Daughter, but I got a just just just the other drawn image. That's it she is a That's it. She is a smoke shell like her mom. I mean, she's not as hot as blondie, but she's a real, cause she's got some fucking Dagwood in her.

And so they, they hot it down a notch. Yeah. She's standing out front. She's got on black velvet pants, high heeled shoes, and a blue velour sweater, large breasts. And the guy she's with has on jeans and a varsity jacket and she goes, did you know it's National Sweetest Day? And he goes, I didn't know that. And he goes, well happy sweetest day I guess. And he reaches in and it says peck. They peck on the lips. And then she goes, I hope you do a lot

better than that on Valentine's Day. What the fuck? Can we cut to Valentine's Day? And then can we cut to her birthday? What are we talking about here, a hand job? It's in her DNA. She just is hooking up with a cuck. Yeah.

A complete useless cuck who has no passion in him. It's like. She and her mom should just get it on I bet you'd subscribe to that even if it was behind a paywall That would definitely be on X hamster calm But you know it's like a Ferrari sitting in the driveway and a child gets in with no keys and Fumbles around with the gear shift and hits the horn a couple times. It's like your first day with the Mustang. Wait a minute. You're a Prius guy. What? What is this? What? EcoBoost. What's that gonna do? Whoa! Alright, listen folks, we appreciate you putting up with our technological snaf foods.

We did it though, look at this! We hope that you will support the show. The best way to do that is to go to the prize picks and go to the app and put in papers. You'll get $50 instantly after you play $5. That's pretty easy. Also, you know how we love to stay neutral. If you want to get every part of the news, every aspect of it, you're going to go to groundnews.com and groundnews.com slash SP, get 40% off the ground news

vantage plan. Mike, anything you want to promote? Yeah, speaking of right-leaning stories from ground news, we've also been blessed by Chris Denman's image, which is if you go to YouTube, you'll see his little image up there like Greg's, and just a still photo. And that's Chris at a Kamala rally and he just you could tell by his hands. He just made that gun with his hands with his hands. He just made that gun signal. He kind of pointed at her and clicked his thumb like and you could see how disgusted he is in the photo.

God, he hates Kamala. Oh, boy. All right. So we'll catch you guys next time. Thanks for hanging out. Okay, take it each people. Go Yankees, go Mets. I want to see a subway series. Oh, we forgot to update our bet. No, it's the same.

We're still both alive. You're at three games to one, and I'm at two games to three. You're ahead three one, I'm at two games to three. You're ahead three one I'm down two three. No but isn't it who goes further in the postseason? Yes. So if it's the then it's the winner of the series that's what it's looking like. Right so you're one game ahead of me. Sounds good I guess you can keep score that way. Alright, God bless. Alright, take it easy. Getting any news without partisan views is impossible these days. Yeah, but the Sunday papers podcast gets delivered with that bias no matter what they say. Cause if it's funny then it's gotta be true. True! Everything's ready. Everything's for you. So whenever you're feeling playful, head to Jackpot City and you'll be endlessly entertained.

Jackpot City. Casino games perfectly made for you. Proud partner of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Must be 19 plus. Ontario residents only. Please play responsibly. Gambling problem? Visit connexontario.ca.