Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 241 11/24/24

Episode Date: November 24, 2024

High school kid suspended for using AI on his homework, Gaetz is on Cameo and Ellen has fled the country.Watch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Thanks to Heil Sound for the new microphones https://heilsound.comEmail caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. Read all about it! Listen all about it! Watch all about it! It's all here! Sunday Papers! Alright, there's a lot of announcements on my screen default external headphones got it. Did you put a little reminder to plug in your headphones? I see them.

I got them in and I'm recording at a good level. I'm in Tempe, Arizona. Nice. You know, I've always enjoyed this town. It's a college town. ASU has a huge game today. They're playing, I don't know, Brigham Young, I think, or something. But they're both, I think they're both eight and two. Basketball team played against Duke last night. Rabee wanted to bet me and I missed it and I would have won and that would have been he needs games to be interesting. So earlier he bet he's like I'm at work and I knew I wouldn't watch it. Cleveland Pittsburgh he's like Cleveland's underdog but you know giving away three and a half which seemed crazy to me but I was like whatever I mean you know the the the line makers have this.

but I was like, whatever, I mean, you know, the, the, the, the line makers have this. So I'm like, yeah, whatever, I'll take, I'll take it. I don't care because I know Ruby loses most of his bets. Did you see the Cleveland Pittsburgh game? It was really snowy, right? Yeah. And it started like during the game, but it was crazy. It also with that weather, it went. It was the over, not the under.

And so I think a lot of people lost money, but I won that one, and I would have won the ASU bet because Duke beat ASU. I'll tell you why it went over. I just saw some highlights, and it looked like there was a lot of fumbles. And when you fumble, a lot of times you're giving the other team good field position.

Look at you. Right? Is there a rule in Tempe that your hat has to match your jacket? Is that what's going on? What are you you're writing on a Jeff Ross project now so you're like Johnny roasts? Are you gonna roast me? I just read you the Huk Tua jokes. We're hoping she says yes. Jeff hung out with her at the Tyson fight. Yeah, I saw his little videos and clips from the Tyson fight. He was like the MC of the event. He was talking to every major celebrity there. It was crazy.

A lot came up to him. Gronk ran up to him and goes, Gronk goes, I'm getting recognized now by people for the roast who don't know what you know, I'm like, don't know what team I played for in the NFL or anything like that. That's hilarious. Yeah. So how's that show coming along? When's it going to air? I think the December 23rd, maybe I forget, but no, no, 27th mm-hmm where I think we're gonna be the day after squid game two premieres day after doesn't really help you does it no what happens oh no I mean tons of people it's Netflix I think it's our most watched week is between Christmas and New Year's. Okay, so this isn't a live show?

No, it won't be live. We're very fast turning around on the edit though. We're doing live to tape. Can you announce any of the comics that are going to be on the show? No, I think it's unofficial still. What's the title of the show? That's also unofficial, but maybe Torching 2024? Sounds to me like there's a lot of masturbation going on at this Zoom meeting comedy room. Well some of it is, like we know the talent and we know the title, but it is unofficial. They have to vet it and all that stuff. Yeah, all right.

Shout out for Adam Ray. He's got a new special out of Dr. Phil special that I watched, enjoyed very much. He's so funny. He actually got Dr. Phil to come on. Really? Yeah, it was crazy. You should have seen the audience's reaction when Dr. Phil walked out. It was nuts. Well, Dr. Phil's in a good mood. His man won, his man is in the White House. Oh, is he a big Trump guy? He was at the rally. Okay, all right.

Got my vax shots this week. Don't tell Austin. Don't tell the administration either, the new administration. All right, what vaxes? I got the, I mean, look, here's the thing. I'm traveling every single weekend between now and March. I'm also going to South Africa for two and a half weeks in December. Oh, yeah. So I got

that and I got the flu shot as well, which I hear is not a good flu shot. When you say you got that I missed it COVID the flu shot. What Okay, you said Vax is plural. What what Vax is? Yeah, I got COVID and I got the flu. Oh But I got you got your second shingles Need to get my first shingles. Oh the second one laid me low but only for like Four hours in the middle of that. I think I told you I I forgot, like he's like, all right, time to get your second shingles. I was like, when did I get my first? He's like last year on your general. And I'm like, uh, okay. So

he gives it to me. I forget. And then, cause I've never gotten none of the COVIDs. I've never really felt crappy. So middle of the night, shivering, so rigorously. And then I put my head under the covers to try to warm it up like you're in a sleeping bag almost on death's door. And then it was one of those where, this is how cold I was, across eight feet away was another blanket or a sweatshirt. I think it was a sweatshirt on a chair. And I was just like, too far, it's too far.

Oh my God. Yeah, I couldn't get out. And it was only about four hours because I woke up kind of fine. Isn't it funny like pain because you know it's gonna end. Like I thought about this when I got those shots is like, all right, I'm gonna feel shitty tomorrow.

But I know when I feel shitty, you sort of feel like you're always gonna feel like this for the rest of your life even though you know it's gonna end yeah anyway I got the shots I'm feeling autistic oh we might have a good show today then yeah can I tell you a funny story with JoJo? Please do. So I go for a bike ride yesterday and down the beach and she goes, what'd you do today?

I said, I took like a 10 mile bike ride. It felt really good. And she goes, oh, look at you. You're like Louis Armstrong. I said, did you mean Lance Armstrong? And she goes, was his brother the guy that walked on the moon? And I said, I give up. I give up on this generation.

Give up? What do you mean? It sounds like she should be on this podcast. Ha ha ha. Are you, this apple did not fall far from the tree. I know. Jesus. She has Fitts Facts.

That applies to her too. She got Fitts Facts and... That's really funny though. Yeah, yeah. How's your daughter doing in college? Both of them are way well. It was really interesting. Today is Sophie's last Michigan game.

I don't know how that happened. This is Sophie's last Michigan game. I don't know how that happened. This is year four. She's a senior and I mean they suck this year so it's no big but I can't believe it's the last like home game that she's that she's going to. It's crazy. Time waits for no one. Yeah and how's Olivia doing? Olivia's good. I just found out I can't make it because I'm teaching in the spring. My class is on Mondays and that's when the Bean Pod is. It's on Monday nights. Oh no shit. I'm very very bummed about that. If people don't know Bean Pod is a very legendary hockey tournament in Boston. It's always the same four teams BU, BC,

Harvard, and Northeastern and it's a big honor to win it. Yeah and apparently BC is stacked this year. Okay. Our boy John told told me that. I gotta let him know. Yeah, God, I let Olivia know. I want to go so maybe I'll go in the spring or something. Why else go to Boston in February? Oh, Jesus. No other reason. So why go to Tempe now?

Tempe is, there's a lot of fucking crazy people. I did my first show last night and I'm doing a joke about abortion and this guy yells out, he goes, because all the young ones are whores." I go, what? He goes, they're all whores. I said, what, you what do you mean,

all young women are whores? He goes, yeah, yeah. That's why they have to get abortions. I was like, is that the angle now? Like, is that what people are saying, that they're all whores? And then he goes, and then he goes, do some jokes about the Jews.

Wow. And it was not met with like boo, shut up. It was like, they kind of went like, all right, let's hear some, let's hear some juju. Yeah, finally someone said it. Yeah, there was a lot of booing at certain jokes. Yeah, things are getting very very partisan in the audiences in this country especially in certain places. Do some jokes about the Jews. Yeah. Well you've been to

Phoenix a bunch of times. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Phoenix I like. Yeah, it's a great town. And Tempe is a really fun town. Yeah. Oh, if you wanna hike, go over, what is it called, Camelback? Oh yeah, maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Oh, it's a great hike.

I got my buddy Rob Dukes is in town. He's the guy who. No, I know. I should have done his podcast. I love Rob. He's the guy who I know I know I should have done his podcast. I love Rob. He did he did the theme song for my when I was special. That's so cool. And his his girlfriend Melody has done a lot of our logos. Speaking of fans. Okay. I mentioned this last week. So I got the mail with all the returned koozies. It's crazy. So hello, listeners. Guess who got his koozie money this week?

I was so bummed out because it was like it was like Friday. We're taping on Saturday. I'm like, he's going to owe me 100 bucks on top of the 100 bucks that you already owe me because of the World Series that you didn't pay me. Do you pay Ruby when you lose your bets? I don't know, he always owes me money. I'm gonna just have him pay you. Here's from Allison in Toronto, a Christmas card. So we're gonna get in the spirit, albeit 11 months late, we're gonna get in the spirit. Look at this beautiful Christmas card she sent.

So nice. Santa. Here's Santa and Rudolph. I open the card, and then I immediately like oh oh because there's a check inside Greg and Mike wishing you all the best this holiday season I love Sunday papers and I'm so glad I found it here's some Canadian money for a nice koozie can't wait to sip a couple of ice-cold most and most and Canadians using it take it it each. Merry Christmas and happy

New Year. All right the only good news about it being a check is we didn't cash it. So maybe we should try to find a way we won't cash it because of the delay. I guess I can find a way see how much it is to ship a koozie to Canada now is that $16 Canadian money that she wrote the check for? Yes. So she's covering the exchange rate by giving you 16 instead of 10 and the extra postage Canadians are bright. Yeah, they are bright. I like a good Canadian woman. I'll be honest with you. They're they're the Marion type. They're loyal. They fucking they know how to fix a hot water heater okay this one isn't as easy this is from Michael in Binghamton New York we know Binghamton

sure my nephew just graduated from there so look what look at his to-do list thank you guys so much for the koozie love the pod to do and in the envelope ten dollars a ten dollar bill oh Michael I hope I send you the koozie I'm gonna go back in my extensive records and try to find if I sent it to you this came from Syracuse New York at least that's where it was mailed so Michael we thank you for the ten dollars well how do you know you send it maybe here maybe you already sent it and that was like a tip. No, no, no, that's for it. I'm gonna go okay. Okay, then another this last one. Nope. One

more. Another Christmas card. Merry, merry, bright, bright. How are people getting your address? What? How are people getting an address for us? Take it each we have the return address. I guess it's uh, I guess it's on your website. Wait, why don't you read it out so that more people send us cards. I don't want that I don't like going to this mailbox place. It's not near my house.

Yeah. Well, happy holidays to you. Thank you. This is from Brie. Who's in Huntington Beach. She says Huntington Beach loves you. And then inside we got just a nice card. Thank God no cash. Nice card picture of her niece I think walking with the dogs. And Sunday podcast has been a highlight. Thanks Mike and Greg. Big fan Bree. So that's so nice. How about a little check, Brie? Okay, now this one I was opening when we started. This is from Keef in... I don't even know what that is. British Columbia. I don't...

Nan... what would you say that word is? Nan Simo. You know that? Or that's just a Fitz confidence? No, it's what it says. Nan Simo. You know that? That just fits confidence. No, it's what it says, Nan Simo. Hey Mike, big fan. Any chance I can get a koozie with this Canadian monopoly money? 1330. They do to the math. Oh Jesus. Is the total. It is real money. Ha ha ha. By the way, I was the guy who sent in the audio where my wife had zero hesitation of swerving into traffic. Oh, I love that. Are you gonna send him a funny anyhow? I wonder what my take was. Anyhow, I'm not really

expecting anything from this. But we shall see love you two. Oh, no, it's cash. Oh, Jesus. Look, Oh no, it's cash. Oh Jesus. Look, with change. All right, if this guy can send me coins from Canada, and okay, you ready? This is perfect. Yeah, this guy's good.

And no, I'm not mentally challenged. I was literally just gonna say I think this guy is mentally challenged. Is written above the coins that are taped to it. This is a loony $1. This is a toony $2 Is that real is that that must be slang 25 cents 5 cents. There we go. All right We want to also thank listeners Jane asked is a big supporter of the show has sent us another great logo It's the Snickers Satisfies poster I like that yeah sure like the color maroon it's because we're nuts Greg and then the song from Matthew Golson what do you think of the song

this week it was such a strong start and that I'm complimenting the whole song the song seems to be a start of a song. Well, it's like it It's one chord and one lyric and yet it works It it gets what the show is all about and then at the end listen to the end because the end has a very nice satisfying finish to it Corrections we had I'm sure you're getting a bunch of these but Phil never played with the dead in company speaking of which when Phil Lesh dot I forgot to show you my t-shirt you see it. Oh It's a very Philly flavor on that. It's the Phillies logo, but it says Phil Lesh instead of Phillies

My friend Dan Bruckner's friend gave it to me in Philly My friend Dan Bickner's friend gave it to me in Philly. Oh, those people are so nice, those animals. Keep greasing the poles so they can't climb them. After the Fair the Well 50th anniversary shows in 2015, the core four never played together again. Bobby and Phil went on a duo tour, but Phil spent the last decade on his own in San Rafael. And he goes on and on and on.

I do blend those two. I do blend the Fair the Well because you know I mean no Jerry so. Speaking of San Francisco punchline comedy club December 5th through 7th now listen these shows are gonna sell out it's San Francisco it's my home club get your tickets right away. Cleveland Hilarities will not sell out but get tickets anyway. That's December 13th and 14th and then starting in the new year, Janesville, Wisconsin, Nyack, New York, Raleigh, North Carolina, Milwaukee, Vegas, Fontana, Atlanta, Hamilton, Ontario, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Tampa. Go to FitzDawg.com

get some tickets. Also support for Sunday Papers comes from Mint Mobile. Look, I like getting a good deal on my phone service. I do not like to get pinged through to the third world and be on hold for 35 minutes until I'm screaming in my own living room. Mint Mobile makes it so easy. It's 15 bucks a month with the purchase of a three month plan. It's that easy. I call them, turns out it's that easy to get wireless,

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slash papers $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Nice, and now we're moving along to game time. Our friends at game time. I went on here, speaking of Philly, Eagles at Rams tomorrow. Right now at 172, but I'd keep an eye on it.

How are the seats? I'd wait to closer, huh? How are the seats? How are the seats? Let me check them out. Well you can look on the view from your seats. Yep that's what I'm asking about. Let's see. Sometimes you think it's a good ticket and then you get there and it's like an obstructed view or something. Look at this when you move it it moves your view. It's like a very high Those are good seats. Yeah. No those ones are 962 but they're gonna be going down. No, those are crazy good seats

But game time we love are you kidding me? You get the seat views, which we just showed you which is panoramic You get the lowest price guarantee or game time will credit you 110% difference. You get the ticket coverage. Your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the industry. I'm going to discover because I like to see what else is in town. Let's see what we got here. It's a lot of football. Then we have Tate McRae.

I've never heard of Tate McRae. I've never heard of Tate McRae. Tate? More like Tate McRae. How about a Dicione Especial? By the way, they must be popular. 145 bucks. No pesos. Keep an eye on that one. Those are just announced this weekend. Okay.

It's a lot a lot of Spanish. I want to see this. I want to see the Christmas shows. How about USC at UCLA? That's today. That's a big rivalry. I bet they're cheap. Dave Chappelle and Killer Mike. These are expensive.

I think the cheapest one is $4.42. Dude, Chappelle is getting so rich. to Game Time app, create an account and use code PAPERS for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply again, create an account and redeem code PAPERS for $20 off. Download Game Time today. Oh, what time is it? Game Time. Game Time. All right, we need paper.

I have lots. You know what paper I have? I have old Coozzy envelopes. Oh, there you go. Here we go, front page. Extra, extra, we are the Fonish, extra. Edward Kelly, who was convicted last week of assaulting law enforcement officers

and other crimes during the Capitol attack, was found guilty on Wednesday on three additional charges. Conspiracy to murder employees of the United States, solicitation to commit a crime of violence during the January 6th riot in Kelly, an anti-abortion activist wore a sweatshirt reading T-C-A-P-P, which stands for the Church at Planned Parenthood. abortion activist wore a sweatshirt reading TCAPP, which

stands for the church at Planned Parenthood. He had a list of about 37 members of law enforcement who worked on his case, and he was trying to get them killed. That's all. So luckily, the 37 cops dressed up as fetuses. So he wouldn't kill them. That is such a smart defensive move. I love that thinking. Yeah. Now, Trump's going to probably pardon this guy,

and then he's going to hunt down the turkey that Joe Biden is pardoning on Monday and absolutely kill it. Just cut his head off. Can I just say something right out of the gate? Yeah. We write this script, it's a Google doc. I put in, you know, you're busy, so I've been putting in a lot of the stories.

Well, you carry the weight. But I'm happy to do. But you wrote in your jokes, and I can see your jokes that you write in, and I can always tell when you are writing on a show Your jokes are so much sharper. What and I swear to God they're more thought out. They're sharper Than then when you're not writing on a show. Oh, all right. I'm gonna mail it in Well, I'm not saying you mail it in but usually only write jokes for the first three stories and then I don't know if you go masturbate or you call your fiance, but...

Sometimes both. Oh, she doesn't know it though. I just tell her to talk slow. A boy attending a Hingham High School in Massachusetts got caught copying and pasting answers generated by an AI chatbot into his homework assignment, earning him a failing grade and a stint in detention. His mom and dad, Dale and Jennifer Harris, threatened to sue the school.

But the school fought back. According to the court order, the kid submitted a script for a school project that lifted entire passages of text generated by AI. He was caught by there's an AI detector. And so the history teacher, you know, gave him this and that they were going to sue and there's the school fucking shut them down, which, by the way, great that the schools are turning out students now

Ready to take on the digital world by punishing them for using the technology that is the future Let's ban the girls from having only fan sites do because those are going to be the only jobs available in five years Well, also I were putting out students who no idea. I mean, thank God AI arrived just in time. They're no longer tested, so there's no barrier in sort of weeding out people or that they have to sort of learn. But despite not being able to spell anything, all of them know how to spell hactua. I've learned that in the last week. All of them know how to spell hoctua. I've learned that in the last week. All of

them know how to spell hoctua, but nothing else. Yeah. Spell it. Exactly. The parents defense I think should have been like, our boy is a robot. So what do you expect him to do? That's the AI. What did I write here? The school was threatened by the lawsuit. Not threatened. Oh, they weren't threatened by the lawsuit because they could tell the parents used AI to generate the legal document. Lazy family. And now the kid's going to use AI to write the most thoughtful

apology letter ever. Matt Gaetz is following in the footsteps of another Republican who left Congress under a cloud of controversy by joining Cameo. A day after withdrawing from consideration as Donald Trump's Attorney General, Gates created an account on the app on which celebrities and other public figures can charge hundreds of dollars for personalized video messages. Quote, I served in Congress. Trump nominated me to be U.S. Attorney General. That didn't work out. Once I fired, the House Speaker reads the profile. He's charging upwards of $500 a video. All right. I think we should get him to do an ad for us for our hats and t-shirts that we're

going to sell. Dude, I read that in the script and And I immediately went I have a cameo account. I looked him up. It's 500 bucks. He says he'll deliver within 24 hours. I tried to actually buy it. And somehow my app didn't work. But I absolutely think a $500 investment in selling these hats and t shirts. Absolutely. I know. But do we want to support this guy? Yes. You know what is his full-time job is now is seeing if he's being suckered into recording something that you know is obviously against him. Well he's on the wrong social media platform. There's way more teenage girls on TikTok. Exactly.

What about Dickie's joke on our on our text chain? He said he said Gates is pulling out this first time he's pulled out where it didn't involve a 17 year old with a Venmo account. It's good. Solid stuff. Yeah.

I did see a head of one of the environmental groups, I heard it in the news, they're like, listen to what this, I mean a very funny head of an environmental group because the threat of him before he backed out and pulled out, the threat of him against the environment. But the guy said, luckily, most of the environmental laws in place are over 18 years old, so we don't think he'll have any interest in them. That's good. That is a solid joke by an environmentalist.

Yeah. You want me to read some of these with my beautiful voice? Yeah, please. All right. We go to read some of these with my beautiful voice? Yeah, please. All right. We go to the state of Maine. A Republican lawmaker in Maine accused of choking his wife last month won re-election by a single vote

after a Thursday recount. Wow, he really squeezed that out. The representative Lucas Lanigan turned himself in days before the election after being charged with domestic violence, aggravated assault, WCSH and NBC affiliate and mate. Oh, you can cut that out of these, you know. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't edit better on all the stories I put in. According to police affidavit obtained by WCSH, Lanigan is accused of choking his wife after she confronted him about an alleged affair. And the irony is that she would ask the guy she cheated with to

choke her during sex. Yeah, you know all the Republican Party's like what's the issue? The wife's older than 17 right? Yeah, it's too bad the wife is too out of breath to go down and cast that tying vote. She's a little winded. Am I too late? Oh this McMahon story maybe you can cut it down on the fly. Want me to try? Yeah just you know speed read. President-elect Trump intends to nominate Linda McMahon to lead the Department of Education she has all she, which he has long threatened to dismantle. McMahon, who could potentially be asked with ending the department, will be put in charge

of heading up changes to Title IX and determining how student debt is handled. I'm going to skip down a little. She of course is the CEO of WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment, and she's donated millions of dollars to Trump. She has spent little time in the education realm. Her most direct experience was in Connecticut where she served on the State Board of Education for a year in 2009 before stepping down to run for Senate. I have a note about that later. In October she was named as a defendant in a

lawsuit related to sexual abuse of young boys by a WWE ringside announcer. It was a rampant abuse of young boys by Melvin Phillips Jr. In the 80s and 90s, it alleges Phillips told the young boys they would get to meet wrestling stars and lured them into venues and hotels on tour. The lawsuit says that McMahon and her husband knew for a long time of the peculiar and unnatural interest the announcer had in young boys. Whoo! All right. Now McMahon did fire Phillips for a few weeks before allegedly allowing him back on the condition that he stayed away from the boys, but the suit alleges she knew he did not. Oh, so I mean look to defend her I think because of her role in professional wrestling she thought the ring announcer was just pretending to abuse the boys not actually doing it

Yeah, it's scripted isn't it? Yeah Well if it's scripted yeah, and he really did it boy. She's even in more trouble But listen, I think this shows that she actually does have experience with school-aged children Yeah, she's taught them how to lie, taught them how to stop crying. Yeah. So this is what I found. She incorrectly claimed in 2009 that she had a bachelor's degree in education and that was to get her on the school board in Connecticut. She resigned from the State Education Board one day after the journalists told her they caught the error. But McMahon attributed her resignation to her state Senate bid. But it was one day after they busted her. And she received, if anyone's interested,

her bachelor's degree in French. didn't you get yours in French? Oui. And from East. By we, I mean like a lot of people in my class did together. Oui means it was a team effort. You cheated off everybody who sat next to you. And she went to East Carolina University.

Very impressive. All right, congratulations. Maybe it is, I don't know. One on one side of the Capitol Republican representative Nancy Mase vowed to stand in the way of Democratic Republican elect Sarah McBride, the first out transgender woman elected to Congress using women's bathrooms in the US Capitol. This is not her first rodeo Democrat Becca Bailey said of McBride. I'm so impressed by the way she is helping us navigate this because she said quote if we let them this entire Congress all we'll talk about is bathrooms. Yeah how about that?

They're talking about like putting through a ban. They've got bills. Marjorie Taylor Green of Georgia took the rhetoric further threatening violence against McBride if she entered a women's bathroom and calling the Congresswoman elect mentally ill. Okay, so we have a $34 trillion deficit. They still have no drinking water in Michigan. We got Ukraine. We got shit heating up in Israel. Not one politician mentioned global warming during the election and these fuck nuts are wasting time talking about where this woman is gonna take a shit. She should do it on the floor. And what is the holdup? What is the hold up that her shit is gonna be worse because she was born a man? I've lived with women. Their shit is as bad as mine. They're

ready for this. Oh boy. Hold on though. Marjorie Taylor Greene is not trans? Is that what I'm getting from this story? Is that what it says? No, I always thought she was trans. Yeah, I didn't know she wasn't trans. I know. It's very weird. So I like how they say the first out trans- Is that just covering their bases that there might be others but we don't know? Well, there was, um, what's his name? The guy, uh, the liar who finally stepped down.

Oh, who also went to cameo. What was his name? The guy, the liar who finally stepped down. Oh who also went to cameo. What was his name? We're not gonna get it. We're not gonna get it. Santos? Yes, George Santos. Look at me. Sharp. He was a he was transsexual, trans whatever. Let's move on to entertainment now. trans Should we start with our endorsements or our picks or should we start with the stories? No, let's uh a little loose and then we're gonna get to Ellen DeGeneres who okay. There's news good tease Yeah, all right. Say nothing. I didn't see it. I read the book say nothing. It's about the troubles

Yes, nothing. It's about the troubles in Ireland which happened in like the 70s and 80s When the British came in and basically brought them the military in to illegally detain and harass military in to illegally detain and harass the Irish, the Catholics. Anyway, it's a story about this girl Dolores and her sister, and they were born into a family in the IRA. Incredible book, and they made it into a series. I've not seen it yet. I think we might have said last week that we're gonna see it for this week, but definitely seeing it this week. All right. Also out of Ireland, my Bad Sisters Season Two is out,

and it is not as good as Season One, but it's excellent so far. I don't think it's Irish, is it? It is, yeah, it's set in Dublin. Well, the Irish actress is in it, it was always good. You know, it's set in Ireland, it's Irish actresses. Is that what you mean by it's not Irish? No, but I mean, I didn't I didn't know it was an Irish. Isn't it set

in England? Ireland. Is it? I only watch is it? I only watched the first couple I think and then I was like, it's a little soft. Yeah, really? I thought a little bit. Oh no, dude, stick with it. It's a great fucking show. Well, let's get back to Disclaimer where I wonder, you were so into the sex scenes. In Disclaimer, yes.

As you watch more, you realize it wasn't maybe what you thought you were watching. I guess there's gonna be some spoiler alerts when we talk about disclaimer right now. So what did you think of the sex scene, the main sex scene? Huh? What did you think of those sex scenes? Well, it's hard to think about it the same now. That's all I'll say. Yeah. No, but they were good. They were good. All right. We don't want to give too much away, but what did you think by the by the we don't want to give too much away, but what did you think by the by the we don't have to talk about what happened? How did you feel when it was over? I felt

I felt like I did at the end of a good novel where they they build characters and Then they they give you some some darkness that you didn't really see coming. I, from a, and I talk to my students about it, we're in a TV writing class, I felt the show cheated a little bit. Yeah, I'll give it that. Yeah, so without talking about this show, you know, there are,

you're trying to surprise, like a viewer say like think of there's a lot of movies like that like let's say I'm making this up. Let's say there's a movie right not even like this it's about murder or something and there's a guy looking guilty. Right and he's looking guilty in front of people or ever, but he's he's pretending. Well, when he's alone. Breaking news, a brand new game is now live at bet 365. Introducing Prize Matcher, a daily game that's never ordinary. All you have to do is match as many tiles as you

can. And the more you match, the better. We also have top table games like our incredible super spin roulette, blackjack and a huge selection of slots. So there you have it. How can you match that? Check out prize matcher and see why it's never ordinary at bet three, six, five, must be 19 or older. Ontario only please play responsibly. If you or someone you know, has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca T's and Z supply. And he looks guilty that you're trying to fool the viewer, but that's cheating because he wouldn't be acting guilty. And my bad made up example here, bad. I mean, he, cheating because he wouldn't be acting guilty in my bad made up example here. It's bad directing. You know what I mean? He wouldn't be acting guilty if he was alone or not

around the people he's trying to fool. Now you're just trying to fool us and I felt that this did that a little bit. Yep. Yep. All right. Let's get to it. Ellen DeGeneres and her wife, poor skinned Daracy, have moved to rural England. They put their Montecito estate on the market. They're never going to return to the US telling friends the election of Donald Trump was their motivation. So also it might have something to do with what she says is she was kicked out of show business. They've moved to Cotswolds, a rural area in south central England, and their Montecito mansion will be listed soon. And my guess is she wanted to move somewhere where being called a cunt can be seen as a good thing.

Yeah, she's going to be very confused about it over there. Yeah. I think like it's a great lesson in just slow down your judgment. I was very anti this deportation plan, but if this is the first example of it, I really shame on me. Shame on me.

I should have made room. They didn't tell us were they were deporting. They just said deportations Rarely things are all bad or all good and I was writing off the mass deportation is all bad Yeah, silly me silly me Well, I think it was smart that they went to England because they're not gonna know about what happened There's there's no tablet activity over there. She'll be good. Yeah. Unbelievable.

I mean, and to it, I mean, I guess they announced it's so she if she couldn't really handle the valid criticism or any criticism, I should say. And that's what a lot of her last special was about was talking about that. Well this is not gonna wait till she wait till she hears the criticism from this. Yeah I mean it's like a member of the Dixie Chicks or the Chicks when they were in England and they spoke badly about the country it's it compounded it. If they'd said those things in you know Texas it wouldn't it wouldn't have clocked the way

it did when she spoke out against the country from another country well I'll just say and it's been said before but uh America's loss is England's loss now so have fun with that Jay Leno you want to read this Jay Leno story? Jay Leno is back. And Jay Leno is black and blue after falling down a 60 foot hill on his way out for dinner, as will happen. The former Tonight Show host, who's 74, suffered significant bruising to the left side of his face

during the accident. Leno was wearing a patch over his left eye, told Inside Edition that he had been staying at the Hampton Inn side of his face during the accident. Lenu was wearing a patch over his left eye, told Inside Edition that he had been staying at the Hampton Inn about 30 miles outside of Pittsburgh on Saturday night. He took the tumble while he walked toward a restaurant close to the hotel ahead of a performance he was doing nearby. He revealed that he broke his wrist, lost a fingernail, and is all black and blue on the left hand side of his body as well as his face. Did you see him? Yeah, it's bad. He looked like a pirate but

his whole, it looked like a car accident, his whole face was incredibly swollen and like gnarly, mostly black and blue. Like why are you out in public? Why are you talking to media? Because he's insane. How did he not break his chin on the way down? You think the chin would have broken in the fall. And coincidentally, Conan O'Brien was doing his live show in Pittsburgh that night. I was shocked the eye patch was in denim.

It's the first time I've seen him not wearing denim. Maybe he tripped over one of his long, clunky punchlines. What is Hampton in? Yeah, I know. Do you know how many millions this guy has? Do you know he never touched his Tonight Show money? Oh yeah, no, he's obsessed with money. He goes down and he does the Comedy Magic club on Sunday nights in Hermosa Beach seats about you know, 200 people and

He takes the door he takes the money at the door like there's like four or five comics on the show That he could just say hey, why don't you struggling guys? I'll take the money. I've got a billion Hey, why don't you struggling guys all take the money? I've got a billion. Does he really take the money? Yeah. I remember on Thursday nights and other nights too, he'd go over to Van Nuys Airport, hop on a private plane after taping the Tonight Show,

which is probably like five o'clock, and go to corporate gigs in Vegas or any gigs. He would go for the weekend. And I guess, you know, he makes so much money doing that. I forget which it is. He wasn't touching one gigantic pile of money either. He wasn't. He wasn't touching the Tonight Show money. I think it was that he wasn't touching, which was like, over 10 million a year. No, over 20 million a year. Yeah. And he never touched that. Right. Right. One person, one person at his wedding, his wedding the witness maybe two in addition to the witness he is an odd odd guy he's been

incredibly nice to me on the very nice to me I hate to make jokes about him I hope Jay knows it's all in fun yeah great guy and he loves jokes man loves jokes loves good jokes. All right. Let's make America Florida. Here we go. We're going to do that with this envelope right here. Florida man is claiming

sorry, Florida man claiming to be Elon Musk accused of scamming elderly Florida woman. The suspect, 56 year old Jeffrey Moynihan is accused of scamming the 74 year old woman out of more than half a million dollars. Florida investigators said he and the elderly woman had befriended one another on Facebook in 2023. You know, Musk is on Facebook and is so easy to befriend. And they messaged each other daily for several months. Moynihan,

because he has all that time. Moynihan allegedly promised the elderly woman a $55 million return if she invested in his business ventures. Okay. Well, just to put that in perspective, if she had bought shares in Tesla at the same time, she'd have lost roughly the same amount of money. Although now, forget it. I know, now it's up. I mean, she really thinks Musk is this available

and needs her money. What an easy target. Well, yeah, something tells me that half a mil was not going anywhere productive. It was either this Elon impersonator or podcast merch. It's gonna be wasted either way. It's like listen I need you to prove yourself. Can you wear a t-shirt that is way too small for you and then jump up like a mentally challenged person trying to do a jumping jack? Can you

send me video of that? I want to prove it's you. Can you also make the ugliest truck ever? Can you show me the original designs for it? How did you come up with it? Dude every time I see that truck I just think douche. I can only imagine a douche driving that truck. Oh it's worse than remember the Hummer douches all those douches. There are so alright for the rest of you in who live in normal places there are so, all right, for the rest of you who live in normal places, there are so many Tesla trucks in Los Angeles. They're everywhere. Not only that, tons of self-driving cars now,

they call Wago or something, and they're little Jaguars, and they pick people up. They're fucking, they're Uber drivers with no driver. I know the first like month I saw those I you know, because there's a giant tech thing on the roof and it looks like and it is of course it's cameras. It's 360 cameras to aid in its navigation and driving. And I thought they were like the Google Earth

or Google Maps trucks. Then one goes by and there's someone sitting in the back seat, no one's sitting in the front seat. It's a very surreal thing. It's also, I looked it up online because Erin was saying she saw so many of them. They claim there are 100 of them in LA She was driving on Olympic right by the 405

She had one in front of her one cross past her and then another one crossed in front of her So, okay. So out of a hundred three of them were in the exact same place I think there are thousands of these and they are gonna take over very fast. Oh Yeah, well dicky told the story on his block One came up his block and dicky was standing out there and you look at it cuz you're like whoa and a guy Was an Amazon delivery guy across the street and at this time of year Amazon delivery guy across the street and at this time of year the M a lot of Amazon they take on tons of extra drivers because of the holidays and the gifts and You're allowed to use your own car. So you're really this sort of

Freelance worker for them you're not in an Amazon van and the guy has two Amazon packages in his hands and he looks at it and then he looks At dick and he goes did that car not have a driver in it like I guess he was the first time seeing it and Dick he's like yeah yeah those are the new cars the driverless cars he's like oh I guess this is my last year doing this like like why wouldn't it come to your house and you go out and pick up the package like you do delivered food. Yep. Well, it's pretty nuts and it really makes you wonder like, oh you saw these teenagers getting out of one the other day and my wife said to them, how was the ride? And they went, there was a

cloud of pot smoke in it from the driver before us. Well, passenger, hopefully. I like getting in and trying to drive it. I wonder what it would do to you. Probably kill you. Oh, right. It still plays shitty music though to give you the real feel of what it's like. I wonder if you can say,

I wonder if you can dictate the music when you're in it, if you can say, you know, Siri put on this or whatever. Can you please stop talking to me and the auto drivers like? Hard to do an autistic man program me and so I am going to talk and also I'm very bad at reading social cues And I have a one robot show coming up next month. Here's a flyer Can I give you my card? All right, another Florida story. Sarasota man drove stolen car to Mar-a-Lago to talk to Trump in Palm Beach.

According to the arrest report, the man drove a rental car listed under a woman's name. When the police contacted the woman, she told them that she and the suspect were planning on buying a vehicle. But when she went into a bank yesterday to withdraw the money money he took off in the rental car without her permission. The man's facing charges of vehicle theft and of course operating a motor vehicle without a valid license. Of course, he just slaughtered a man. Of course, this is also the metaphor that the people, he probably voted for Trump.

I'm thinking he's a Trump supporter. And how does he get there without a license in a stolen car? It's like he does not have your interest in mind, pal. I just love that there is no foresight about how this ends for this guy. She's in a bank like there's, all she has to say is my car was stolen. The phone call is made and he's arrested. You know, and then how did the cops find out he was going to Mar-a-Lago? He must have told them.

No, I think he pulled up, because I cut out the last line, is this is like the 13th arrest this month in Mar-a-Lago. Oh Jesus Christ. I know. All right let's go international. But let's not forget the guys probably just has pardon on the brain. Everything's pardoned. He probably yeah yeah he probably yeah all right. Wait international I didn't really read these. You told me we weren't going to do them. Okay, so let's go down. I mean, I did wait, I did the Brazilian, but that's been in there a while.

Yeah. Wait, no, I did these. Wait, I wrote jokes for all these. Okay. But North Korean troops wearing Russian uniforms. And then Brazil, let's not do Brazil. What do you want to do? We can go to science or international? Want to do the first international story? Let's do the first international story. I like it. Here we go, international section. Alright. Want me to read it? Sure. All right. Want me to read it? Sure.

Defense Secretary, I can't read. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said Wednesday that North Korean troops wearing Russian uniforms and carrying Russian equipment are moving toward Ukraine in what he called a dangerous and destabilizing development. He was speaking at a press conference in Washington with a South Korean defense minister as concerns grow about the deployment of as many as 12,000 troops to Russia.

The U.S. and South Korea say some of the North Korean troops are heading to Russia's Kursk region on the border with Ukraine, where the Kremlin's forces have struggled to push back Ukrainian incursion. I wonder if it's going to be hard to tell which of the North Koreans, maybe the ones whose uniforms are hanging off of them and dragging on the ground as they walk.

Yeah. Well, maybe it's the PC-ness over there. Just like America, they're not allowed to describe the physical traits that would differentiate North Koreans from Russians. So they look different? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. How do they look different? They had dark hair. Their features were sort of dark. Well, Russians can be that way, right, right. Yeah, they seem to be, maybe they were marching towards the sun because a lot of them were squinting. They looked Asian.

Well, Russians technically are Asian. Yeah, yeah, they looked Asian. It would help if you could just say, I can't, right? I don't think I can describe what they really look like. They were marching in a chain gang. That seemed like a little bit different than what you'd see with the Russians. I just hope Ukraine isn't waiting to see the whites of their eyes before shooting because they're gonna be a little closer. Let me just say that. They're going to have to wait till they're a little closer.

That's good. See, you're sharp this week, Mike. Although you wrote that joke a few weeks ago. That's the proof in the pudding. I wrote that before this week. All right, where are we going? Are we going to the state in history? This day in history.

Yes, here we go. All right, I got gotta be upfront with you there wasn't a lot man it was not a sexy week or day let's see here but I got some I got some let's see if you knew this. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, the very famous French artist, he was born on this day in what year? I'm going to give you give or take 30 years. Toulouse-Lautrec? Yeah. I'm going to say 1830. I win. 1864. Damn it! Missed my four years. I know how to pick the range.

All right. All right. All right. Let's see what the next one is. You'll know about Jack Ruby when that happened. 1964. All right. Let's do this. What? That? It was... which one? Jack Ruby? 63. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you would have gotten it. All right. We didn't do that one. Shortly before her death, Anna Sewell published her only novel, Black Beauty, the first major animal story in children's literature give or take 35 years huh was it about Halle Berry it was not that would have

been more recent give or take 35 years when was the legendary book Black Beauty 1837. All right, another major work of writing. Charles Darwin, his On the Origin of Species, by Means of Natural Selection was published. Let's just say this was a game changer. This was a giant debunker of the way the world thought. I'm gonna say give or take 25 years when did Darwin publish on the origin of species. I feel like it was towards the end of the 19th century and since the last two answers were like in the 18th century I'm gonna say 1875 It was oh you got it 1859 Nice you be I you kind of got it Alright, let's look for one more here. Well, there's Diego Rivera, but Maradona I didn't know he died when he was 60. I did find one more story here, hold on.

We got DiMaggio. Okay. 1954. The premiere of Casablanca was on this date in what year, give or take, five years. That was a, was it black and white? It was black and white then I'm gonna say 1943 yo 1942 nice oh we're gonna go out on one that's personal to you and

you know what just to make myself feel good I might put it on in the background today one is uh his Charlie Brown Christmas Charles Schultz American cartoonist he was born on this day in Minneapolis Minnesota what year give or take eight years I'm going to give you a fifth 17 year window that he was born he was born on this date in what year Well, I should know this because I actually went to the Charles Schultz Museum, which is in Santa Rosa, California Where he builds a hockey rink he built a skating rink next to his offices There's a the museum is his old offices and it's got and I fucking love peanuts And it's got all of the cells up on the wall,

and then he liked to skate, so during his lunch break, he would go over and skate in this fucking rink. It's amazing, and you can go skate there now. Did I give you that needlepoint, peanuts? I think I did, right? I think you did, yes. In your office, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna guess, well, I know he wrote about football.

He was a football fan, so he was definitely around, I'm gonna say he was born in 1890. You don't even have to think anymore, 1922. Yeah, Jesus. I mean, that might've been your worst one, and you're a fan, and you've been in the museum. You don't even have to think anymore. 1922. Yeah. Jesus. I mean, that might have been your worst one. And you're a fan, and you've been to the museum. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. I just, I recall, and I know we've said this on the podcast before, but our buddy Ross Abrash, amazing joke writer, he was on Kill Born With Me, and just, I mean, a joke machine. And Charles Schulz died, like, at 4 p.m. that day or whatever it was here it was it was in February 12 2000 is when he died and without like I think he had already like printed out his jokes because we were close to the showtime and Ross hand wrote in he's like Charles Schultz American cartoonist responsible for the peanuts you know has passed away cause of death, shitting out unfunny comics for

50 years. No, yes, really? They didn't use it. Did they use it? No, no, no, no, but it made Craig and I laugh. Oh, my God. Yeah, I got that guy a job writing on Howard Stern. I know. And they loved him there. It was there years, maybe even a decade years. Yeah, here we go go we're going to letters to the editor okay right in the middle of your conversation with Mike a louder and even faster audio feed in Spanish comes in where they are speaking really fast it's a quick hit not lasting long

but it's quite jarring, definitely in Spanish. Derek Morris, so I'm a little concerned. We took on this new agency. We already have an agent to give us the ads that we read, but this new agency inserts ads. And I'd like to get some feedback from people, because we hear different things about, one was running a political ad, and some of these,

the second time I've heard they're in Spanish, so I don't know what they think our demographic is, but give us some feedback at fitzdogradio.gmail.com. Are these ads annoying and infuriating, or you don't mind them? What do you think? All right, I've never heard them. I like this Spanish lady though.

By the way, we haven't plugged our merch we're going to do. Yeah, it's not a not definite we're going to do either hats and shirts or just shirts. And we're going to decide this week we're going to announce next week you're going to be able to go on to the what? Maybe both. Maybe both you're going to see on the website there'll be a link. You can buy them for the holidays,

buy it for a friend who watches and listens, buy it for yourself. It's gonna be high quality, whatever. We've been going back and forth about making sure the quality is really good. And that's gonna be exciting for the holidays. Yeah, exciting, man. They are good looking hats, I will say that.

Yes. And I will not be mailing them to hats, I will say that. Yes. And I will not be mailing them to you, so that's an added bonus. No, that is our sale to you, is Mike is not involved. There will be a professional company that gets them out in 24 hours or less. Don't tape loonies, don't tape coins to pieces of paper

and send them to me and claim you're not mentally ill. Chris Fury said songs that mentioned Tacoma which was the topic we had last week Jewish Princess by Frank Zappa with a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma. That's a nice rhyme. That was the song he did with Moon unit Zappa, his daughter. Oh, all right. Malcolm Gladwell covered Hope College, a private liberal arts college in Michigan. He has a program to allow students to attend

without paying tuition. However, the students pledge to donate money in the future if they are able to. That's a very nice set up. Yeah. Dan said, dude, Mike with that Roddy Dangerfield callback right after Greg brought it up was just the best. I thought that was scripted or something. Get back to snorting Adderall, Mike. I

know, right? Sharon said regarding Lockhorn shocked when opening electric and water bill at the same time Mike's response inflation right or shocked because opened water and electric at same time and nothing to do with inflation Mike I think the joke was he got shocked because his water and electricity right I have I have no idea what this is referring to. All right, sorry Sharon. By the way, Mike, yeah, we already talked about that. No, shocked, the joke would be water and electricity, right?

You gotta keep them apart. Yeah. All right. All right, obituary, did you pick out an obituary for this week? Nope. Nobody died? nobody died? uh who died? who died and left you boss? how about this? uh Mel Brooks still alive. that is

pretty amazing isn't it? I love that. I'm looking at uh no, nobody big. I know, no, nothing stood out to me. Yep. So, good. Okay. So we don't even have to cheer up while we're going through here. Yeah, let's go right to them. The comedy captions contest goes on. You guys have been unbelievable.

So much funny shit I'm laughing out loud at a lot of these it's just such a fun idea and you guys participating if you do it please send the joke and put your name directly underneath your submission that helps me cut and paste into the document without taking all fucking day okay last week's was it looks like an angel with a halo and wings he's got his arm around a guy who looks like he's in a bathrobe they're walking through the pearly gates into heaven and Dan Roske said it's okay I haven't gotten my koozie either. I love it. Ryan says, ass, cash, or grass. Nobody dies for free.

Okay. I like that. Jeff Langa said, you're gonna love this place. Pete Rose is selling autographs tonight. Recently deceased, yes. Jason Cobb said, well Cardinal Michaels, this is heaven, but we're gonna relocate you to another hotspot, just like you did with all those priests.

Okay, Jason, all right. Zach from Yuma said not gonna lie to you bro this place sucks should ascend. All right a little twist. Mark said sorry Hugh because of the abortions all your whores are in hell. God looks like Hugh Hefner. Okay oh okay. Oh yeah the robe I get it I get it does look like Hugh Hefner. Okay, oh, okay. Oh yeah, the robe. I get it. I get it. It does look like Hugh Hefner. Timmy Woodhouse says before you ask the wait list for 72 virgins is like a thousand years long. The guy in the robe doesn't look like he was a terrorist. Yeah, I think they got the wrong religion on this one. Michael Judge says clouds. No, that's the smoke from the Phil and Friends reunion. All right yeah Phil's up there.

Shawn Johnson says as you can see no priests up here. Okay. Joanne said welcome to heaven fuckface. This is not sounding like our Joanne again. Joanne then said so you died waiting for your koozie. All right. All right Well, I get message received Alright, so what do you like? I don't know. Is there a way not to like any this week? It wasn't the most killer week, but I kind of like ask cash or grass. Nobody dies for free What does that mean though? It's it's a thing that bikers say, guys in carleys. No, I know what it means, but why would the angel be saying that?

I don't know, it's just, he's gonna, you know, the angel is asking for some ass. It would help if he saw his hand, his other right hand out asking for something. I don't understand why the angel is saying what is he expecting? Yeah okay. Maybe this is another joke we don't get which you're about to read. I think the first one I haven't gotten my koozie like saying it's okay. It's similar to the last joke but I think it's better. I think Dan Rosk. Dan Rosk congratulations you've won yourself a koozie just in time for the winter to keep your beer cold throughout the winter. By the way, koozie is also a great Christmas. This started as a Christmas promotion for last year.

If you want to get a koozie, go to the FitzDog radio website. You can still do it. Next week's caption. It's a man sitting at a bar, he's got a drink, he's in a suit with the tie undone, he's clearly had a lot of drinks, his nose is red, and he's staring at a pink giraffe who is talking to him. He's shaking his head as a pink giraffe is talking to him. Yeah, he's's trying to shake off the vision, yeah. Yeah, what's the picture F saying? Then we got Clark Lemieux said,

You can't even read a fucking Dilbert without the punchline flying over your heads. Not only is Mike's delivery of these comic strips atrocious, but the self-proclaimed comedian doesn't get the jokes. You two adults read a strip about an employee getting in trouble for their responses to an anonymous survey, and you couldn't figure out the punchline. A lot of people got upset about that. All right. How does he know who delivered

the anonymous complaint? Well, that's a technicality. Well, that's a technicality. Also, we're wondering, is that really the best they can do the old anonymous joke on? Well, it wouldn't be anonymous, which has been done a bazillion times over centuries. So yeah, we're a little confused. All right. Well, we got a bunch of people pointing that out. So we can't put it all on him. We must have not conveyed that well As you read I'm going back to find that fucking comment now don't get all distracted you're always looking on your phone I'm already gone. No, listen to this Hager. There's a there's a castle under construction. It's got Ladders on it and there's a couple and the woman says if you build it and then Haggar pops into the frame and he goes she goes

he will come yeah you better believe he'll come he's gonna come all right I like listening to it believe her you painted a good picture of it because I'm now in last week's document. You ready? First frame, according to the anonymous online employee survey, you how does he know it's you? You don't trust management. What's up with that? This whole fucking thing doesn't make sense. Now it was anonymous. He's saying it was anonymous. And he's saying you don't like like clearly you made a comment on the anonymous survey. No, that's not what they're saying. It's literally it's it's like they sign or maybe it's online. Why do I have to think about this? You're

not supposed to figure out jokes. Yeah. All right. Why does the guy with the smack your bitch up hair do know who made the anonymous complaint? Doesn't make sense. That's the joke. I'm fucking curious. All right. Speaking of hilarious, the Lockhorns, Leroy is at the dinner with Loretta. They're sitting at home at the kitchen table and he goes I don't know what this is, but you made way too much of it. I like that Simple so simple and look the joke. I don't have to do any goddamn math on it. They're on vacation

They're wearing hats. They got touristy outfits on they look like they're in a marketplace Yeah, and he goes if we get separated, I suggest we just relax and enjoy it. They're good, man. And then we got, uh, you want me to do the next Dilbert? Yeah, let's do a Dilbert. I'll read it any goddamn way I want. Number three. This is number three. It's number three. It goes from one to ten up, but they're the ten best So already I have a lot of problems with communication and how people can't do it. But anyway, here's number three Okay, three frames in the first frame the smack your bitch guy hairdo with the two pointy pieces of hair comes up to

Carol this is the first time Greg and I are ever seeing Carol. She's at her desk and he goes, Carol, I want you to help me put together a morale boosting event. And Carol goes, great idea. And after that, maybe I can do CPR on a mummy and see if I can save its life. And the third and final frame, she goes, do you hear what I'm saying? And then he goes, our first meeting will be Tuesday. Wow. Jesus. All right. As usual,

let's try to figure out this Dilbert morale boosting event. And then after that she's gonna do CPR on a mummy and see if she can save its life. Do you hear what I'm saying? Our first meeting will be Tuesday. You know what? Fine, I don't want any more letters. That is so hysterical. It's great.

I get it. I think I get it. Because I'm smart. The dripping sarcasm really lands. Especially with the do you hear what I'm smart. The dripping sarcasm really lands. Especially with the, do you hear what I'm saying after the joke? Uh, yeah. These people, they seem very unhappy in the workplace.

Yep. Um, here's who's unhappy. Is Blondie. She comes walking into the frame, she has a raspberry sweater that is just clinging to her full bosom as Dopey sits in a chair with his hands in his pockets watching tv like what and she goes i thought you were gonna help clean up after dinner he goes oh i am and he goes i was waiting for my food to digest she goes how long will that take? He goes, probably until after dinner tomorrow.

Oh really? Fuckface? So she is the one that stands at the goddamn stove with the apron on, stirring pots, serving you, asking you what you want, and then you're gonna give her lip and not do the dishes? What the fuck? What bus of children did she run off the road in a previous life that she is forced to deal with this? I know bad karma. God. Still easier to follow than a Dilbert. Yep. Oh, you get it. Number four. You get it. I just don't know if blondie supposed to make you angry or make you laugh. The problem is blondie doesn't get it

Right You know who does get it mint mobile. Oh boy. If you want to pay 30 bucks a month for your first three months, you're gonna go ahead and you're gonna go to mint mobile comm slash papers Also, don't forget about Game Time. It's the best way to get tickets for comedy, sports, theater, music, all of it. Go to the Game Time app, create an account, use code PAPERS for $20 off your first purchase. And don't forget if you haven't seen Life on Stage, my special, I'm getting close

to half a million views if you haven't seen it please watch tell a friend and you know what put it on your computer on YouTube and just hit play and then go walk the dog I got it we let's get these numbers up it's getting there okay Mike anything you want to promote well I'm trying to find our text chain of like our schedule of podcasts. Oh, right. I think we're not doing it next week. I think next week we are not doing it for Thanksgiving.

And then we're doing it. I forget we're going to miss two in the next five weeks just to warn you guys and I'm going to I'm going to Africa for three weeks oh we got the holidays and it's gonna be we're gonna take a couple weeks off just to warn you guys maybe we'll play an old one if you want to enjoy maybe one from the year before the end of the year maybe we'll do the one that like does all of our predictions because then we'll be answering those the following week yeah okay I am looking though we we

nailed down a schedule but alright we'll update that we'll update you and thanks to Midcoast Media for doing a fine job. There was an omission last week, sorry the comic strip was not in for this week's comic captions but it will be in this week and thank you guys again. Mike, good luck with your show. Oh thank you you. You know, we might have a show. I mean, do we want to? No one's listening at this point. I can't remember. Yeah, I can't remember. All right. Anyway, we'll see you guys soon. Oh, guys. Take it. Everyone have a great Thanksgiving regardless.

Take it-ish. Take it-ish. Sunday papers, oh Sunday papers, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,