Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 242 12/8/24

Episode Date: December 8, 2024

Sunday Papers t-shirts available for the holidays! United Healthcare is hiring! Hawk Tuah talent ruins her fans' meager life savings, and Ellen’s new English cottage is flooded. That’s some WAP.Thanks to our sponsors:http://meetfabric.com/papersDownload the Gametime app and use code PapersWatch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Thanks to Heil Sound for the new microphones https://heilsound.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Frank, Fitzsimmons. Read all about it! Read all about it in the San Francisco Chronicle! That's where I am right now, baby. San Fran. You're in the Chronicle? Yeah, you fixed your hotel. What are you doing? You're using a hot spot, buddy?

Using the hot spot. I think the earthquake must have knocked out the wiring in the hotel. I was here for the earthquake. 7.0. Oh, I didn't even think to ask, did the city feel it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't know. Yeah. And then there was a tsunami alert for an hour that I was here where they were like, and you know know San Francisco, like I'm down by the Buckeye Darrow.

A lot of Asian people, that's why they called it. Right. Why? Yeah, tsunami. Run uphill, buddy, run uphill. Like the animals. Yeah, because I'm in a low-lying area and I was like, you know, it was pretty crazy.

I think, you know, I don't know what I'm talking about, but all right. So behind, you know, I live in a tsunami zone. It's weird to think in LA because we have barrier islands that they say will do most of the protecting. But anyway, behind is a pretty big hill, like to get over to Lincoln and and I'd say it's Four stories because when I come over the hill I compare myself to like it's way taller like than my building And I was just wondering and I'm envisioning like you know all my memories of the footage of the tsunamis

I wonder how high you have to go because the water is just seeking its own level You know what I mean? Like in other words, it will go down to the canals and everything before it climbs a hill here Yeah, I don't think you have to go that high, but I also heard it's a misnomer I heard we're actually not in a tsunami zone. I think they thought we were But now they're saying less so so I wouldn't worry about it. In San Francisco? No in the west side of LA. They made them build the 90 freeway which for people that don't know there is a 90 freeway that goes out of Marina Del Rey it's my favorite the story I used to tell is Rabee used to

get his car wash when he was starting out in Hollywood and he was poor and Instead of buying the service where they dry it He would just do a self wash and then he would go 90 miles an hour on the 90 to dry his car There's never traffic so Italy it goes out of Marina Del Rey. I think it's called a tsunami evacuation route and It and then the freeway ends three miles later, like over by Sepulveda. Now it's a great place to speed. When I first got my Mustang, I went on it and I just lit it up, got it to 120. So I'm in San Francisco, I did 15,000 steps yesterday. Whoa, and

6000 of those were over people's bodies. It's it's that bad. It's bad. Yeah, it's Union Square gone That's where I was yesterday I walked down there because somebody told me about this restaurant our agent David or Rafael who we love Yes, tell me about this agent agent, Burma Health or something and it's this Asian restaurant so I walked there and I was shocked. But not as aggressive. It depends, they say in San Francisco,

the homeless really change in each neighborhood. Like I have a couple friends that came out last night that are homosexuals and they live in the Castro which is a gay neighborhood and they're like, yeah, they're around during the day, not at night. I don't know what that means. And then if you go to like the tenderloin, bring fucking mace. Tenderloin is like you, they are in your face. Yeah. And then Market Square is like they're around, but they're doing a lot like there's a lot of people like looking out like there's a lot of shoplifting there's a lot of

purse snatching. Yeah it's it's pretty wild and then there's a ton of those Waymo cars. Yeah like they're everywhere. Yeah I mean they I mean, I got in one yesterday, and it was just so weird to be jerking off in somebody else's car, you know? I was gonna say, yeah. Did it automatically hand back tissues? Like, does it read? It did, yeah.

It's very, it's very caring. Is there any communication? I'm not joking. Does the car talk like you're here? No, I didn't take it. I just wanted to make that joke. Oh, I wonder when you're in it, can you say, can you go a little slower?

I'm scared or whatever it is. I saw these kids getting out of it one day in LA and I said to them, how was it? And they go, and they were like 14 years old which I didn't know you could just take an uber at 14 and they're like it was a dude it was filled with pot smoke when we got in oh I wonder if the car knows that yeah I wonder if you get flagged for that you know I took when I was visiting my dad last week in Florida

for Thanksgiving, so I took an Uber to Fort Lauderdale, which is an hour south, and I'm in it, and I know a lot of people know this, but it was a Tesla. The map, one of the maps is it so accurately scans every single car that's around you from a truck to a pickup truck to a coupe to a four door every car including opposite way traffic every car is scanned. How do you know? Huh? What do you see it? Really? It has like drawings at least that's the setting she had on it had draw

Also, I felt better female cab driver, but I was like, you know, hopefully it's autopilot The it had scans of all the vehicles 360 around us How long is it gonna be until? we are given tickets by Automated cameras on the highway. Well, they're not allowed, right? I mean.

Well, they're not allowed, but who knows? That kind of shit changes. I know that the insurance companies are doing this really tricky thing where they go, let us monitor your driving. And if you drive well and you don't stop suddenly or speed we'll give you a break on your insurance but what they're really saying is if you do speed or break suddenly we're going to drop you and a lot of

people have been dropped after signing up for that or they jacked their insurance rates by like triple because they don't like the way they're driving yeah insurance companies are trying to get out of things. Oh boy, do we talk about insurance? We're going to get to that. Also in San Francisco, I was, you know, I sell my pins after the show and I say good night to people and a woman in the front row I was talking to is telling me that she's into kinky sex and she was kind of hot. She was like 50, but she was still hot.

So after the show, she wants to take a picture with me. So she puts her arm around me and she jams her tit right against me. She was being very flirty. Jams her tit against me and then proceeds to lick my entire face, like the whole side of my face. And I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? As you didn't move and allowed her

to lick the entire side of your face. Well, I don't know. You got to give a woman a shot. But I mean, like in all seriousness, like how do you expect me to greet the public and lick my face? Like what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, especially since you probably had just eaten ass.

I didn't even think of that. She was covered in common ass. Oh, the algorithm. The sweet, sweet science of the algorithm. Jesus. You just lost it all. Speaking of selling shit, the t-shirts are flying off the shelf,

but the beautiful thing is, there's no inventory. They get made the day they're ordered, and they go out in the mail that day. Oh, it's like fresh baked bread. I mean, fresh for you guys. We're like Tom Papa. We will be selling them.

I think next week, I don't know how many we sold this week but a lot but get them in. For the holidays it says Sunday papers on it there's another one that says take it each. And then there's another one that says something else but if you go to Fitzdogg.com you can order them in different colors and sizes and I'm not mailing them. I'm not mailing them. I'm not mailing them out. I'm not licking the stamps. I'm not licking your face.

Buy it as a gift. I'm catching up on koozies today, I'll tell you that right now. I'm a little overdue. Koozies as well. You can send those out for the holidays. Yes. Again, FitsDog.com, it's all right there. Also, my dad sent me pairscom, it's all right there. Also, um...

My dad sent me pears, you know, Harry and David? Yeah. That's a big holiday thing, so he sent those up before Thanksgiving. Have you ever craved a pear? Oh yeah, yeah. Well, my whole premise is I don't think people crave pears. It's like, it's a good idea if you see a pear, you'll be like, oh, a pear, I guess I could have a pear. But no one is ever like driving and like,

oh man, I could really go for a pear. When pears are in season and ripe, there is no fruit experience as, it's like candy. It's so fucking- I'm talking to the wrong guy. All right, guy all right okay you're gonna you know what I'm craving a pear now I think our listeners are also it sounds like I can make a cocktail oh I'm gonna make pear juice I like that in a martini it sounds like a porn site craving a pear. Yeah. Nice pear.

And then I, so last week I gave a shout out that I needed an editor to make, I don't know if I did it on my podcast or on this one. Not on this one. I need to cut up my special and put clips online. So I said I needed an editor and I got hundreds of people I guess we have a lot of editors that listen to the show. Well a lot of people can edit now it's like a lot of people can do Photoshop. Yeah and so I was very

I was very touched I appreciate the outpouring I did find somebody so you don't have to send it anymore and here's how I found somebody Mike Gibbons who I'm doing it who started out as an editor in this business. Not really. No, I can't, by the way, I was very crude. I was three quarter to three quarter deck. That's what you're referring to. But here's how I picked somebody out of all those people. One person went to my feet, sent a picture. They edited together my face, licking them like a face.

And they edited a video clip from my special. One person out of all people sent resumes. They tried. Initiative. It was a little initiative and I go that's the person. That's what it takes. Can you tell me how old this, can you give me some demographic info on this person? A female probably 40s. I love that it was a female. For some reason I thought it was. Maybe you said her already, but I literally was thinking female. Some of the best editors in the world, maybe even disproportionately are women.

I mean, golly, I'm forgetting her name, but scores is it Ruth Scorsese's famous. I mean she did raging bull. Oh god, man. It's gonna bug me and She deserves a name drop It's like an old-school name. I think anyway, go ahead. That's it. That's it Listen, we don't have a lot of time because just full disclosure to you guys, we are taping Thelma. I told you it was an old school name, Thelma. Thelma, I like that.

Oh my God. Have you ever slowed down Raging Bull? You know, there's cuts that make no logical sense or chronological sense, but it's feeling. And that's what I hope she won an Oscar for that. I'm going to go check that now. But it was's feeling. And that's what I hope she won an Oscar for that. I'm gonna go check that now, but it was all feeling. So, cause I've gone frame by frame in the fight scenes and it's outrageous. Really?

Oh my God, no, no, it would be boom, boom. And then a shot that she put in cause it felt like an artist. It felt like you needed it. But it wasn't it wasn't like continuous like continuity was not the issue or anything. Okay, she has three Academy Awards. Wow. Yeah. departed aviator raging bull. I mean, if you think about any art you think about painting like I just went to LACMA with my mom. And you look at a Picasso or even like a Degas, Degas, Degas.

And- Degas and Degas. The brush strokes, it's one of those things you gotta learn the rules to break them. The paint strokes, the shading and the balance and everything is beautiful. And then there's a stroke that that that's where the genius is. It doesn't make sense.

It's counter to the logic of the painting. And it's the same thing with music, you know, like a little, you know, a drum fill or something that just goes counter. That's what sets it apart. Yeah, that like sort of learning everything and breaking the rules, but also just not thinking is a huge goal.

I told you my great friend Joe Tinetti, he was unfortunately kicked out of eighth grade when I was at Hackley with your sister and maybe your brother that time. My brother got kicked out of Hackley as well. Yeah, first they kicked out my friends, then I was encouraged to leave, that's how I'll phrase it. And so he was an artist.

He's studying on 8th Street in, I think it's 8th Street off Fifth Avenue. They're the famous school. And he came- The new school? What? The new school for social research? No, no, no.

Like legendary painters. Wow, I'm gonna look up a lot today. Anyway, he came by my apartment, Legendary painters. Wow. I'm gonna look up a lot today. Anyway um He uh came by my apartment living in that shitty walk up on Sullivan street And I had an old painting that that on a canvas that my sister laura made like when she was Four or five like it was you know, just the crudest thing ever But the painting like you could see a house just the crudest thing ever. But the painting, like you could see a house

and like a chimney maybe, and then there were two sons and that just blew Joe's mind. He's like, two sons, why not? Why not two sons? And he just loved it. It is amazing. I have a couple pieces of my daughter's art on the wall. My daughter has a real gift with art.

And we have a couple of her paintings on the wall and like the balance of colors to each other, the complementary colors, she didn't know blue and orange were complementary and she had them the face you know the some people just have a gift it's amazing. New York Studio School. Okay. Logo this week comes from... You're impressed. Oh God, I don't even know who did it this week. You know why? Because it's a Christmas logo that was done years ago. I have a file. Are you even aware Mike of the work I put into this show? I have a folder with Christmas logos in it. You did a ton this week. I did a lot this week.

And so this is, I guess guess is that the Backstreet Boys or is that in sync? Can you look up for your phone occasionally during the podcast? No I'm looking up New York's the New Studios the New York Studio School alumni. Go ahead what do you want me to look up? Look at the logo. Who is that? Is that Backstreet Boys or in sync? I don't care. You're asking me. Yeah, I hope it's on One Direction Otherwise, I would I'd watch out for your hotel balcony, Pally. The song Matt Turfee did this week's song And you likened it to who? You know a little Paul's boutique vibe yeah Beastie Boys check it check check

check it out here come the corrections that's not Paul's boutique oh check your head no all right Paul's boutique and it's what you what you what you want It's the sounds of science. Sounds of science. I wonder what that'll do to the algorithm. The good news is they will not ding us for copyright because that was unrecognizable. The corrections this week, we got Lars Eriks said, y'all said that the guy that says you're dead to Laoda in Goodfellas is the Cali Rios greeter Johnny however that role was played by legendary retired New York City detective friend of Imus an

original Rios fixture Bob Dedal. Oh wow look at this guy. Maybe I had the role wrong. And then Ray Jepson said I'm an ASU grad along with the dearly missed Steven Brody Stevens. I'm biased but I do believe ASU has a higher reputation than University of Arizona. ASU has about twice the student body because Phoenix has a much larger economy than Tucson. ASU has about twice the student body. Because Phoenix has a much larger economy than Tucson, ASU's programs tend to be more supported by businesses, get more publicity. ASU has five baseball championships versus four for Arizona.

Finally, Mike said that the stadium held 100,000 people. The capacity is 53,000. I don't think I said 100,000 people. The capacity is 53,000. I don't think I said 100,000. I think maybe you did. It's possible I did. But I'd say 50,000 were on the field on that game. OK, Rabee, I thought you might have been on this chain. Rabee is at, do you know this place nearby

that replicates the field? It's video screens that you're in the stadium? No. They do a lot of soccer matches. Oh, really? So this is it, I'll show it to you. But he's watching the ASU game right now. They're winning.

That's a screen? That's not the game? That is a room with That's not the game? That is a room with screens in it. Wow. They're popping up all over the place, but they're such idiots. So we went on a tear making fun. First of all, there was this hot mom you would have loved.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. They're raising a kid above their heads. And of course I'm like, they do 30 of them. I mean, that's a pretty high number for ASU to get to. And I'm like, I go, why can't this group count votes? And we just crap all over ASU like crazy. They're all hammered there.

I'm like, it's just like ASU. Everyone's shit faced and hot girls have young babies. I'm like it's just like ASU everyone's shit-faced and hot girls have young babies. I like it. Yeah. And then tour dates coming up. Oh wait did we do the ads yet? I think my tour dates come first. Cleveland, Hilarities in Cleveland December 13th and 14th come on out one of my favorite clubs in the country also great restaurants Oh Janesville, Wisconsin January 17th and 18th Nyack New York at levity live January 23rd and 24th then I'm coming to Raleigh, Milwaukee Vegas

Fontana Atlanta Hamilton Ontario Toronto Pittsburgh Boston just announced April 4th and 5th your daughter will have to come out I love it Tampa perfect so maybe you come in for that one it's my birthday oh I know the fifth come on now you know that I know that support for Sunday papers comes from fabric you know the thing about term life insurance is tell me it's legalized gambling. You sit down with the company and you go, I bet I die. And they go, we bet you don't die. And the thing is, you don't want to win that bet, but you also don't want to lose that bet

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PAPers for $20 off download game time today. What time is it? Gametime there it is. All right, you got something to crankle. Here we go Assassinations go for it. All right. This is obviously the story we're gonna cover this Oh, you know what story we didn't put in here that maybe we'll just riff on We forgot to mention that Biden pardoned his son. Oh man. Yeah. I mean, should we just talk about that right up front? That was, he flat out bald faced for months said he was not going to pardon his son.

And then he just came in and went, yeah, I'm going to pardon my son. I mean, and the thing is like, if you're just a guy who maybe you're, maybe you're like a union boss and your son is late to work a lot and he's gonna get fired and then you quietly on a Friday after work just reinstate him,

all right, some people are gonna bitch but you're not the president of the United States doing it in front of the entire world I know I don't you know what I haven't and it's not an excuse you righties out there who I can tell are getting furious I'm working on a New Year's show the Jeff Ross thing roasting the year and we've steered clear of politics So I I haven't I've been looking for all these stories that are not politics. So I don't even know the latest on Trump's cabinet picks. I don't and I do want to go back and read like what do the New York Times say about this part. And I mean they had to be like they had to be very critical

I assume. Yeah they were and you, even a lot of Democrats have spoken out against it. But, oh, yeah, you know, it was just something that if any at the end of the day, you want to be you think about your legacy and you think about the years that Biden has put into the Senate. And as vice president, and that he was an honorable guy, I mean, has he gone back on a couple of things? He said yes, but he's been in business for 50 fucking years. But in general, he was known as a guy who stood by his word. And I think that this is going to really hurt his legacy. And that's kind of the point that they made. Yeah, but what would you do? What would you do? What would you do?

Well, you know what happens is. The bar has been so like lowered, you know, you know what I'm impressed with? I'm impressed the Democrats didn't play around with the Supreme Court, you know, because they could just add seats and Biden could have tried to load it. You know what I mean? Yeah, right. What when he had the power to do so. So in a way, I'm glad that didn't happen but the everything as we know and this isn't like even just singling Trump out but like Everything the bar has been lowered on sort of decency

So No, but that's the point the Democrats are supposed to be the party that is decent and that is honorable and and he kind of I don't know I think Clinton put a couple of dings in that, you know Well, I'm not saying I think Obama I'm saying that that's what they want to project I'm by no means saying that they are I think Obama was very dignified and everything and you know people who are like saying Oh my god, don't you know? Here's the baseline, okay? All United States presidents are killers.

They kill hundreds of thousands of people on the regular. That we're number one. Trust me, there is a wake of destruction behind us. They all kill. They also all lie. So that's your baseline. Now, what above that? Like what is right in your face?

And I think Obama was actually pretty dignified, I have to say. Clinton, Clinton, definitely not. And even though I like Clinton's policies a lot. To your point, Obama was the guy that really jacked up the drone strikes. I mean, he killed hundreds of people. Oh, they're killers, every US president.

Right, right. I mean, trust me, we're not number, we don't stay number one for no reason. Right, right. I mean, we treat the Mideast, I mean, please. It was the easiest thing in the world to see why 9-11 happened. Yeah, well, let's not go there.

All right, let's go to this shooting. There was a obviously everybody knows about this UnitedHealthcare CEO, Brian Thompson, who was killed on a busy Midtown Manhattan Street in an early morning attack. This is crazy, man. Words were written on the ammunition. The guy was smiling in a photo. I mean, this is a big news story. He had a burner cell. He was a pretty good, this was like a pro hit. Other than the guy lowering his mask at one point, because I guess he was flirting with the woman at the Airbnb he stayed at or something.

People thought that might have been intentional and that he had already disguised himself. I mean, you have to put on the disguise the second your eyes. There's a great line in Body Heat, which is a fantastic movie. This is keep in mind before way before the internet and cell phones. And a guy goes to him in prison goes, there are 50 ways to screw up a murder. And if you're a genius, you can think of 25 and you're no genius. The amount, especially today with everything tracking you, phones on multiple phones per city block. There are so many ways not to get away with this thing. And he had to the second his eyes opened before he turned on a light should have been in disguise. Well, the only clue they have is there's a smudged fingerprint from a water bottle, which

can't get them much. Maybe some DNA. But other than that, burner phone and got on they think he got on a train out of the city. Probably used cash. They have no idea where he is they've got a picture that like you said may not even be his real face he may have you know put a fucking nose on himself I don't know but but the bullets that were fired

had the word depose delay and what was the other word oh deny delay and what was the other word? Deny, delay and defend, which apparently are famous words that the insurance companies use to get out of paying claimants. They are an absolute despicable company who has caused so many, so many unnecessary deaths. Yes, does this justify shooting that guy? Yes. I hope they get them all. Get the guy from Kaiser, get the guy from fucking Blue Shield. Insurance companies

are... I pay $50,000 a year in health coverage and I barely use it. It's, and these guys are making record 10, 20, 30. Last year, UnitedHealthcare made $16 billion in profit. Do you know what $16 billion is? And these guys, he walked away with a $10 million salary. It's unconscionable what these companies are getting away with. And guess what? If they come in now and they start getting away with oversight offices in the government, this shit's going to get worse. What was the health insurance movie that sickened you? And I think it was based on a trend was Travolta in it. Oh, right, right, right. I'm looking it up now, but a civil action.

A civil action, right, right. But apparently, and the really bad part is the CEO, he was not covered for shots. So. Well, I've been obsessed with the comment section. So they had footage online and It was him riding his bicycle on the Upper West Side, I guess after the shooting or whatever First comment who then I didn't see nothing

There there are so many that there's that there's one there goes my hero he's a hero a true patriot the bicycles in the video does not have anyway it's so crazy um dude this is where the revolution begins i mean when you when you push people hard enough and you take enough of their fucking money they start this is how violent overthrows of the government but in this case our government is corporations it's not politicians it's corporations and people are gonna start coming for them no it's so crazy here's other comments oh my god this is horrible thoughts and prayers for him and his family I'm sure his family is scared of their loved one who's on the run right now. Hope he gets Dick he said that one to me. Sorry empathy is out of network. Yeah. Yeah

Thoughts and deductibles for the family. Unfortunately, my prayers are out of network. I Thoughts and deductibles for the family. Unfortunately, my prayers are out of network. I mean, it's listen. Here's my naive hope is that this is unbelievably shocking. It's unacceptable also. And because it's so insane and unacceptable, maybe someone. And this is I told you, it's naive. Maybe someone like RFK junior who is dying to make a name for himself and claims to be anti Big Pharma and corporations. What if he took the reins and just dismantle the current system we have. Yeah. Right. Because when they go up in front of Congress it doesn't. Even if a congressman rips them a total new one, which this did, they're being investigated already.

Even if they rip them a new one, it lasts like three days. It's kind of like when, you know, Facebook and the other social media companies go in there and they they rope a dope and then they leave. And it looks like they were beat up there. And they're just counting their money on the way out. They they do so much lobbying and and commercial campaigns It's that the american public keeps voting against single payer It would help 90 percent of the people in this country to have single payer and have the government run health care

I know government does a bad job of things but worse than this. I found this thing that said that the current ratio of the this is the United Healthcare they put out they put out the story so this is even on their site and the current ratio of laugh reacts to sympathetic reacts on their post is 77,000 laughs to 6,000 sympathetic and it keeps trending even worse. Wow, Jesus. Well, in a related story, an insurance company is halting its plan

to limit the amount of time it would cover anesthesia used in surgeries and procedures. Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield said on Thursday, that's the company that insures me for $50,000 a year. So they basically, they're claiming that this was misunderstood, but they also back down because there's so much blowback on it. The doctors were saying like, we can't do these procedures if we don't have extended times in some cases. The last thing you wanna hear

before they slice open your abdomen is, okay, we really gotta hustle on this one. Yeah. Well listen, I've been put under, I had the two hip surgeries, I had Achilles surgery. And they're always like, all right, so start counting down from 10. And you're like, you dig in, you know what I mean? You're like, I'm going to make it to zero. And you never even remember them asking it again. Now it's going to be like, all right, listen, start at three, hurry. Listen, don't worry. If you wake up, we just got these new bullet casings and you can bite

on those. You can bite the bullet casings. That'll help. Oh my god. All right, here's the big story everybody's waiting for. Hayley Welch. Hayley Welch, a 22 year old who rose to fame this summer for her viral Huk Tua TikTok video is coming under fire for what many view as a disastrous launch of her cryptocurrency. Her agents have got to be the most sleazy bottom

feeder in Welsh's latest career move since achieving celebrity status. She attempted to launch her own so-called meme coin, a form of cryptocurrency created as a form of entertainment. But shortly after a team of advisors launched dollar sign hawk on the blockchain platform Solana, its value almost immediately plummeted. Investors in the currency have filed complaints with the SEC alleging what took place could have been known as a rug pull when developers hype up a crypto project to inflate the value only to profit on it before it tanks and they walk away.

You know, like Wall Street. Right, so basically the stock was flaccid and then it quickly rose. There was a lot of excitement and then there was no interest in it and it collapsed. Classic hactua. The hactua is to get to a peak as soon as you can. I mean, that's the whole model.

That's right. It's to speed up the process. Yes, and then lose interest. Yeah, and then there's zero interest in it immediately. Yeah, yeah. Afterwards. Right, right. So here's the inside little thing is, so we were speaking to her this week. zero interest in it immediately afterwards. Right. So here's the inside little thing is so we were speaking to her this week.

So by we I mean Jeff Ross and the show we're doing roasting the year. She is signed on to be a guest. Of course. And Jeff did her podcast which is called Talk to a it's one of the highest rated podcasts by the way. And she was in L was in LA and he did the podcast this week it hasn't come out yet and Promoting the show and that she's gonna be there and then she was supposed to come into the office on Thursday at 5

This broke Thursday morning. I think it was Thursday Yeah, Thursday morning and we're like, Thursday, yeah, Thursday morning, and we're like, uh-oh. And then all of a sudden, we hear from our manager like, apologies, so sorry. She's on a plane, her grandmother, there was maybe a medical thing with her in their family, and also this crazy scandal thing. And we are just sitting here with our fingers crossed, hoping she has not canceled the booking. In fact, I think we could maybe help her

do some damage control. And anyway, what I did learn about this. Oh yeah, that's definitely, roasts do that really well, helping out careers. No, I think they do. I think sometimes, you know, Martha Stewart comes out of jail and then she- That's true. She makes jokes about it. Yep, yep. And I think if, you know, Martha Stewart comes out of jail and then she makes jokes

about it. And I think if you own, I think it helped Charlie Sheen. I think if you make, first of all, you sit there and you're a punching bag to the worst jokes and then you can make jokes about yourself, I think it really helps. So anyway. I stand corrected. And then so hopefully she'll do it. But what I did learn and I'm not excusing it at all, but I guess this is a very common thing for influencers to have crypto, start a crypto to get a coin. I didn't know how common this

was. So what happened is she got sort of assembly lined right into the new influencer factory, you know, and an additional podcast and everything else that's on auto create. She was talked into, and we'll see how much of this is her fault, I guess, but talked into this crypto. All right. Let's get to entertainment. We're gonna jump down. But all right, I had a couple of jokes on her. Oh, please. Let's get to entertainment. We're gonna jump down. But all right. I had a couple of jokes on her. Oh please. I'm sorry Mike. No we wrote an acceptance speech for her and all that stuff. But anyway some dumb joke I wrote was that she it's true she used to work in a in a she does maybe still work in a factory

in Tennessee and it's a spring factory so no matter what she's doing things around her go boy-oing-oing. The cocks, the springs, and the stock. You don't have to spell it out. Yeah. Things go boy-oing. I like it. The Menendez brothers are getting all this attention this year,

but her video almost killed her parents. Where's her special? Huh? The first line we have in her acceptance speech which I like I didn't write it those uh before we get started who am I again? Alright moving on. Let's get to entertainment. Yeah here we go. I saw Jessel Nicks one-hour special and I have to say it's fucking good. He's a great joke writer. It's just the jokes are so tight and his point of view is so dead-on, his pacing, his confidence. I mean he's a guy that just he takes his time

putting out specials, he works really hard on them and it really shows they're just there's no fat whatsoever. Maybe I could read a joke from it as you talk about that letter that was written in. Okay Ryan wrote in, this is for Gibbons. I went to a screening of A Complete Unknown. Gibbons was correct when he thought it looked authentic. The filmmakers took, is this the Dylan movie? Yeah, yeah. The filmmakers took good care. I recommend you both see it in theaters. The music resonates. Chalamet, I just saw a clip. He made all his college football predictions. He's on that college game day show, like the most watched, you know, sports show on Saturday. Yeah. And he just... and it's going viral.

He like predicted, he wants to go 6-0 with his predictions. Really? Yeah, and Ben Stout told me he was going to a screening of it in Minnesota, Bob Dylan's home state, and Chalamet was there for the Q&A after it. And Ben is a huge Dylan fan, maybe the biggest Dylan fan I know. Yeah. All right, here's a little here's a little Jezelnik joke. He said a priest in his hometown

molested an altar boy in the exact same church that Jezelnik grew up going to. And he's like, it's horrifying. He's like, that could have been me if I became a priest. It's really like it's like a puzzle I was talking to Atel last night about it. Atel also loved the special and he's like it's just so he's one of the best comics at hiding the turn you know it's like it's becomes a game where you're trying to guess. Oh and he gives you time to guess yeah you know and And you know his device, you know? I loved, though, and I've said this last week, he ends with two great stories, and make it to that.

Because the jokes, I could see some people getting a little fatigued, especially if it's a little harder for them to tolerate very, very dark humor that involves sex with minors and all that stuff. But make it to the last 20 minutes, I'd say, for sure. Yes. We also, I guess we should hit on this as our former boss has moved to England. Alan DeGeneres is living in a multimillion dollar farmhouse to protest in England, to protest Donald Trump getting elected. But she and her wife, Portia De Rossi, have been

left to the mercy of raging floods which have engulfed their new home. It's a 43 acre property in Cotswolds. It's swamped. They were marooned. The River Thames I guess just like broke its banks. All the roads around have been impassable and one of the stricken resident who lives near them said the flood waters are rising by the hour. This is the worst I've seen in years. And I think it's called Hurricane Donald's. Well, I never thought I'd agree. I never thought I'd agree with the Republicans often say this, but I think God hates the gays. And by gays, I mean those two women.

You cannot hide. You cannot hide from God. And I guess Portia got soaked first because doormats always do. It's like the first thing. Is that the thing that happens? It gets wet. Yeah. But that, I'll tell you what, that's some wet ass pussy. First time in a while. Wop.

Are we making America Florida? Yeah. Let's go down to Florida. Here it is. Florida woman sentenced to life in prison for zipping her boyfriend in a suitcase for hours until he died. Sadly, I hold on. He doesn't move this on me. Sarah Boone, 47, was found guilty of second degree murder after she zipped her boyfriend Jorge Torres into a suitcase. Her defense team argued she suffered from battered spouse syndrome. So the couple was drinking alcohol and playing a game of hide and seek,

which you'll do with your batterer. They thought it would be funny to hop in a suitcase as part of the game. Torres voluntarily climbed into the suitcase and she zipped it closed. She recorded herself taunting him as he asked to be let out. Then she went upstairs to sleep. Listen. Oh, she thought it was hide and sleep.

My first reaction is once again, a woman is overpack packing the suitcase to a ridiculous I mean she had a sit on it to get it zipped you know it's going to cost an extra $70 Yep yep and by the way hide and seek she doesn't stand a chance in court the jury is going to look past the battered spouse bullshit and convict the woman of killing the most fun husband in the country. Hide and seek? Yeah, I know. Drunk hide and seek. How fun is that? My wife would fucking love it if I played hide and seek with her. Yeah.

Sometimes I call her. Most of you have been hidden in Vancouver for a couple of months. She'd love that. That's what we call sex in my house. couple of months. She'd love that I wonder if she acts in my house. I'd say what's that? That's we call sex in my house hide and seek. I Thought it was hide and weep The I wonder she folded I wonder she folded or rolled them They say you can fit more spouses in a suitcase if you roll them. And I bet she knows that trick. Let's make Kentucky, Florida.

Let's make Kentucky, Florida, here we go. I wonder if she had, you know, all those influencers who you watch them pack a bag and they're packing eight bags inside a bag. I wonder if there was a husband bag next to her makeup bag next to her hairdryer bag and her shoe bag. I wonder if there was a husband bag next to her makeup bag next to her hair dryer bag and her shoe bag. Alright a Kentucky man is betting three million dollars at the NFL's Philadelphia Eagles will beat the Carolina Panthers at home Sunday for an expected payout of $443,000. The money bet with cash on the

Eagles regardless of the margin was placed on the sportsbook in Vegas Thursday According to ESPN the Eagles are favored by 13 and a half It's the largest ever placed on the sportsbook alright, I Am rooting against this guy Of course because it's the Eagles. Right. All right. That brings up a bet I'd like to make with you. You hate the Eagles. Yeah, they're the bane of your

existence. You hate Philadelphia. I mostly hate the Eagles fans. Maybe the football team's fine. All right, I will bet you I mean, their team is very exciting to watch. They've got this running back Barkley, who's amazing. Saquon, is that his first name? I will bet you $10 that the Eagles win, and if they lose, I owe you $60. That's the, cause that, and that's a good bet.

Or do you wanna go points? We can either do that. No, because I'd rather go points, cause I think I'm just handing you $10. Obviously significant odds are I'm just handing you $10. Where I won't be interested if the Eagles are up by 14 points. Alright, so I got the Eagles, you get the Panthers with the points. And we'll figure out what the points are day of the game. Day of the game but right now it's 13 and a half I like that what are we betting let's bet I just paid you a hundred all right let's be you want to

bet 20 50 oh I'm saying I just bet I just paid you a hundred all right so you want to bet 50 golly man why is the spread only two touchdowns? Not even, okay, yes. All right, 50 bucks. That's skip sports. All right, speaking of sports, we're going to sports. Oh, you want to do it? Okay, let's do it. Well, Aaron Rodgers, listen, you have a story

about Aaron Rodgers and all this stuff. But we I wrote some jokes this week on Aaron Rodgers. I'll just read them. Because I don't think I don't know, just so people know, Aaron Rodgers is now like he comes over to the Jets, they pay fucking hundreds of millions of dollars, he immediately gets injured, misses the first season, comes back and they now have won like two games in the entire year. And this is with them bringing in who's the wide receiver that he loves? Yeah, I've stopped following entirely. But also he had Wilson, who's just amazing. Yeah. The rookie or second year. All right, here are the dumb jokes. Do you know how bad you have to be

to be one of the worst things that's happened to the Jets? Despite 9-11, these are more Jets jokes, really. Despite 9-11, when New Yorkers hear Jets and tragedy, they only think of football. He's anti-mask. How does he not wanna constantly hide his face? Wait, I've lost the Zoom connection here, there you are.

No wonder he thinks autism is on the rise. Have you ever been to a Jets game? He accused Jimmy Kimmel of being a pedophile. Meanwhile, he's the old man playing ball with kids half his age Rogers would be disgraced to his family if he had one Shit that one hit hard no look passes try looking you dumb fuck you need to now He thinks this one's cut off here. He

He thinks the government was in on a school shooting and you expect him to read a cover three defense? He doesn't know how to read. Ayahuasca, that's a lame, ayahuasca is an old Peruvian word meaning pick six. There we go. All right. Let's take it down to this day in history. I got him I got him I gotta find it here we go all right give or take a half a year okay that means you have to get it exactly John Lennon sadly was shot on this day in what year? Was I in high school still? Bob, I know Bob Marley, I was on a high school. I'm going to say 84. Oh, I should have given you a year at least.

1980. Oh, yeah, I know I was in high school. I remember my mom woke me up. It was a Tuesday morning, because famously Monday Night Football is the one that announced it. And she's like some sicko. She was crying and she's like some sicko killed John Lennon. It was crazy.

Yeah, I remember these kids in my school, they were actually like really good musicians and they had a little band freshman year and they came out and they we used to have a morning meeting and people give up get up and give speeches about their sports team or their club or whatever and they got up and they sang imagine together and oh wow broken up yeah okay give or take. Well, let me make sure I'm reading the right date here. Is it when it premiered?

Yes, world premiere, give or take. Hmm. Give or take two years, I'm giving you a five year window. The deer hunter had its world premiere on this day in what year? 79. Oh, you're good man, 78. Nice.

All right. It was such a 70s movie. Diego Rivera, whose bold large scale murals stimulated a revival of fresco painting in Latin America. He was born in Mexico. On this day, in what year, give or take, 20 years? 1937. 1886.

What? Yes. No shit. Wow. Just saw one of his paintings at LACMA. Give or take five years. Lech Walesa was elected president of Poland. He led the Solidarity Movement. First independent trade union. He received the Nobel Prize for Peace as well before the election. 1987.

Oh, yeah, I think you got it, 1990. Nice. Very good, let me try to find one more for you. We're going down the list to other days, so it's this week really. Oh, I knew I had this one for you. I saw it earlier. The animated special, a Charlie Brown Christmas, had its first aired on American television and instantly became a holiday classic. Give or take three years.

What year? Oh, come on. Three years. Well, you're good at thinking out loud. How would you think out loud about this one? Well, I went to Santa Rosa, California, and I went to the Charles Schulz Museum. That's not how I would think about this, but go ahead. And Charles Schulz had a skate, he had a skating rink built next to his office because he liked to skate at lunch. And it was fairly modern. In Santa Rosa, California? Santa Rosa, California. And it was fairly modern. And he, so he was Santa Rosa, California, Santa Rosa, California, and it was fairly

modern. And he so he was still drawing, I would say in the 80s, which means he was probably born in 1920. I'm going to say 1948. 1948. 1948, Greg. No, no, hold on. Is your guess on when the peanuts, peanuts, Charlie Brown Christmas first aired on CBS? All right, I'm gonna say 68. It's 1965. You don't win that one. I'm sorry. Come on, I get to change? Why wouldn't you say it's basically been on my whole life? Yeah. All right. I think we're done with this day in history. That was good. All right, good.

Let's get it down to Letters to the Editor. Here we go, Letters to the Editor. Okay, this is Susie who is reporting from Michigan and says, we were wondering about the inserted ads. By the way, we tried a company, and we're still using them, who insert ads, they call it dynamically, which means they're prerecorded.

People are not huge fans of it, but I hope you'll understand the fucking ad market for podcasts is changing very quickly, and we are taking a beating. So we're looking for alternative ways of funding the show because it's pretty expensive to get it edited and all that. So anyway, people complained about the volume and hopefully that will change this week. The volume was too high and Midcoast Media is working to fix that, the volume on the ads. And also we're

no longer inserting them in the middle of the show. They'll just be before and after the show. But we asked what kind of ads were coming in and Susie says mattress store? Okay, fair enough. Huck to a girl. Is that because our podcast puts people to sleep? No, because people get late. They fucked her in this podcast. And she said erectile dysfunction medication. Yes, ma'am. Yeah. All right. So Rick said universities with states are land grant and agricultural schools. They are generally regarded as less prestigious than the other state college. Ah.

Sky Panipak said, you were mentioning sports fathers and sons playing together. I submit Mr. Hockey, Gordy Howe and his sons Mark and Marty. Okay. And then finally, long timetime listener and supporter at times, I was deeply offended at the Styrofoam Coolers joke. I believe it was in response to AIDS. Yes, I know Haiti has much bigger problems than a stupid joke. I'm gonna take a short break from the show. I wish you all well. If you mention this in the podcast, please do not use my real name. Signed Robert Rodriguez. No, good riddance, Sarah. I don't even remember

the joke to be perfectly honest. But if it's an AIDS joke and I was you, but almost all that is about you. You said you said that's what they're gonna their biggest import will be not because their biggest export is gonna be organs from people with AIDS you basically called the island an AIDS-ridden island now I'm wondering what this person is offended no the story was that you could now use organs from people that have AIDS if you you'll remember the only exclusion... Hold on Greg, hold on Dennis Gubbins just gave me a ring. We're recording the podcast Jabeen. Are you pre-gaming already for the Oregon game? Oh there's a record of the last two or three weeks okay. I'm recording this phone call. When you think of a hey Dennis when you think of Haiti, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

You'd have to go with what you see he's an improv master he took Haiti like it was Good ask him if you go back to the 90s What what are the things the Haiti, you don't have anything that comes to mind? No, it's like earthquakes, you know, uprisings. You meant AIDS, but okay. Well, I was gonna say, what are the three reasons- Hold on, hold on.

What are the three reasons you could not donate blood in the 90s? Homosexuality and being from Haiti and being an IV drug user. He's defending his anti-AIDS stance. So, all right, I'll talk to you later, Dan. Good luck tonight. Bye-bye. Go Ducks.

There we go. Great call. No, I mean, the famous SNL commercial parody was the good idea jeans and the guy I was it was it went like viral if that was a word yet, but everyone talked about it Which was uh, so I didn't use a condom because I figure what am I gonna be back in Haiti? Right. Yeah Let's get to obituaries speaking of people dying of AIDS The old bits Here we go.

And that's all, folks. Well, here's the good news. I couldn't really find anyone. I mean, I don't know. People were holding on. Maybe they want to make it to the next year or whatever. But this is what I did find. I did find that Chuck Norris's mom died. He killed her?

Chuck Norris is 84 and his mom was 103. Damn. Yeah, young mama. I didn't even put the math together. But cause of death was Karim Abdul-Jabbar beat the shit out of her. In the Colosseum in Rome. Look at you Mike you see when Mike's working on these TV shows he's got hard quick one-liners.

We love it. The audience loves it. All right let's cheer up after that horrible news about 104 year old Ms. Norris. All right what do we got? All right, so last week's caption, as you know, we do a comic a comic caption every week. It's a contest where you win a koozie if we choose you as the best joke. So this last week, we gave you a caption. And by the way, send these into FitzDogradio at gmail.com we ask that you send

your joke with your name directly under it it really helps us out a lot thank you so much so last week's caption it is an alley in the background you see it says easter bunny here today banner in front of a store and now we see the Easter Bunny guy in a costume with the head off. He's an African-American gentleman smoking a cigarette. You think he's African-American? He is darker skinned. He's the same skin. Do you think it's an African-American woman? No, but look at the hair. It's the afro. It's same color skin is my point. Anyway, go on. So the woman, the mother is holding- I would have written black jokes.

Go ahead. The woman is holding out to her little boy who's on his knees with his mouth open, looking at the sky. He looks very perturbed and upset. So, and this was done by Jason Love, by the way, was the artist. Harvey Booth said-

Wait, I have not looked below. I have not looked below. You said you were gonna, by the way, was the artist. Harvey Booth said, you caught a fight. Wait, I have not looked below. I have not looked below. You said you were gonna, can I say what you told me before this? Yes, we were gonna, people asked us to start writing in our jokes for the caption and so put our money where our mouth is.

So I inserted my, since I collate all these and edit all these, Mike has no idea, but I put one joke in that I wrote and at the end he's gonna have to pick which one he thinks I wrote and then he's gonna give us his caption that he wrote. All right hold on so my question is I've not looked below but you have I do see the first one did you put a fake name on it? I put a fake name. Ah good okay I wrote one when I saw it last week it came it just the first one that came to mind which means it will not be the best joke because you're supposed to reject the first

impulses I did not. Okay Harvey Booth says you caught a feisty one this time hang on to him till I finish this joint we'll have a Netflix series by April. Dark. That's one of those ones that's dark but again too many beats. It's probably yours you're trying to throw me off the trail. Jeff Brewer said I knew the Easter Bunny was I knew the Easter Bunny eggs were colored but not the bunny. Wow that might that might be you because of this black issue but go ahead. Tim Dilley who I think is coming to see me tonight in San Francisco You're right my little Michael. He doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me

Okay, all right Tim yeah Brian Dardee said if you think this is bad you should see what the tooth fairy does when kids aren't around Okay, bad reading on that, bad reading. I don't know what the Tooth Fairy would do, okay. Flesh Try says, so it's Jesus that lays the eggs? Oh, you skipped down, got it. Ron Dvorak said, why am I showing you this? Because you didn't clean your room, fuckface. Jim Guglielmo said, no, it's Bill Cosby.

Oh, all right, interesting, okay. Frank Tantillo said, you're disappointed, he's my gynecologist. I wish we had seen something leading us to think why he'd be a bad gynecologist. I wish we had seen something leading us to think why he'd be a bad gynecologist. Okay. Kenny said mom I've already sat on our priest lap in the rectory. Oh boy okay. Little weird that priests live in a place called rectory. Yeah. Nathan Brown said I wanted a chocolate bunny not a brother in a rabbit suit.

I guess he's black man. Too many are referencing it. Brian Walker said, P Diddy is not as nice as you said. Another black one. Yeah. Kelly Holmes finally said first Santa and now the Easter bunny is the tooth fairy your special friend to. Ah, interesting. So first you're gonna get a nice. Santa and now the Easter Bunny is the tooth fairy your special friend to.

Ah, interesting. So first you're going to get a nice that's kind of nice. First, you'll guess mine and then you will guess. Then we will pick our then you'll tell yours. Then we'll pick a winner. I think yours is no, it's Bill Cosby. No. Oh, my second guess was. Huh? Oh, my second guess was, P Diddy? No, mine was, I knew the Easter eggs were colored,

but not the bunny. Ah, got it. Solid joke. Mine's very lame compared to all this racial humor. All right. Mine was just, no, I don't want to go to dads this weekend. But I didn't see him as black. Also, he's the same color as the kid. Yeah. Well, the kid's got the afro too. I think the mom's white. The son is slightly lighter skinned than the dad. She should

have a bigger butt then if your story is holding in the water. All right, who do you like for the winner this week? Not mine. Not mine. Ironically, I think I lost because of my bad reading of my own joke. I thought that was calculated. I think the tooth fairy, I think Kelly Holmes maybe. Okay.

I like that one. That one. Kelly Holmes. Okay. You gotta remind me, I don't know who wins. Sorry, you haven't gotten your koozies. So Kelly Holmes, congratulations. You have won a koozie just in time for the winter.

Keep your beer cold in the cold weather. It keeps the hot side hot hot. How do it know? It keeps hot. Are you kidding me? Here we go. Funny. Oh Wait, we have another Caption. Oh, yeah the caption for next week is we're in the funny section also from Jason Love who is nice enough he's a he's a cartoonist who I'm actually friends with he's also a comedian and He has a picture this week of a clown. A black clown. He's a white clown. He's staring at the camera at it like over his shoulder at the camera and he's standing against the back of a car. Hold on, hold

on Greg. Why do you say he's looking at the camera? Well, he's looking at us. Right. OK. Right. I don't. But there's no camera like you're not like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm in show business. So the camera would be like security caught him. Right. All right. So he's looking at us. Yeah. And he is standing behind a car like a sedan and he's got his hands on the trunk and it has those little lines that make it look like maybe he just shut the trunk. Yeah, there's some action there. Yeah.

There's a couple of tents in the background, I guess. Well, we shouldn't say that it could look like he it looks like he's almost humping the car also right could look like he's humping the car as well as right? Could look like he's humping the car as well. His crotch is right against the back of the car. His hands are definitely moved. Yes. Yeah. Hager comes in the door.

He's got a big box in his hand. He says, Newt's daughter eloped just an hour before the wedding. And Helga says, so you took back the wedding gift? gift and the final frame there's a cake on the table and he goes nope and he's got a knife out he stole the cake. I just I just was wondering on the interpretation of in medieval days what eloping means does that mean he he took her he clearly took her he abducted her and brought her somewhere else That's a lope I

Think so or is it kidnapped right? Yeah, it's more of a kidnapping situation Leroy Lockhorn is sitting on a chair talking to his wife action and he says to Loretta I don't want to argue Loretta. Can I just check the I agree box? Yeah, we've all been there man and then They're eating dinner and he looks at her and he goes didn't the recipe call for flavor? They have better ones than that this one might feel a little bit better They're at a party and Loretta is talking to her friend and Leroy's in the

background dancing with a hot chick, dancing like a lunatic. And she goes, there's the man who an hour ago was too tired to help with the dishes. Yeah, yeah, we've all been there too with the lazy husband. Yeah. All right, here we are with Dilbert. So this says number five. So this one's a little easier because as I've said before, I don't know if they're counting up to 10 because that's what we're doing with 10 being the best or I've already read the best which you wouldn't know it and I'm counting down to 10. But this is number five squarely in the middle.

Three frames. The guy with the smack your bitch up here is at the head of the table, conference table, and then Dilbert's in the middle, then a little guy with glasses, bald guy, is there too. And the little bald guy says, this week I did equal amounts of work and anti-work. And then he says, for every unit of work. I did I generated an equal amount of unnecessary work for co-workers I figure I broke even and they're there at the table and now the smack your bitch guy. This is a third frame says Wally come see me after the staff meeting and now little Wally. I've learned that's his name. The bald guy goes. Oh

Great, you're driving me into negative territory. Boy these are. Okay here's the deal like. Wow. After the British office and this was this was written after the British office I think after the British office how can can you do? office jokes like this You can't well this was written on January or anything funny the date of this comic is 1997 the British office was probably after that all right, maybe it was after okay, then it's genius if I take it back It's she they stole everything from Dilbert. Oh my god All right now dad would joke dag would sit on the chair again I take it back, it's genius. They stole everything from Dilbert. Oh my God. All right, now, Dagwood. Nice math joke.

Dagwood's sitting on the chair, again, hands in pockets on a chair. 2001, British office. With Blondie with his back, she's got her back to him. And then she goes, dear, do you ever get jealous? And he goes, sometimes. He goes, just the other day, Lou served a way bigger roast beef sandwich to the guy next to me.

She goes, that wasn't exactly what I was talking about, sweetheart. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh man. Have you ever been jealous? Does he get jealous? He should be jealous of every man that comes within 12 feet Can you imagine the perfume she wears you probably get hit? It's probably lilacs and and and Vaginal fluid and oh oh

And I'm I'm just saying like this guy has a reason to be jealous He is less than every single man that comes near and he should know that every single man wants a piece of her. I also think it's pretty threatening actually. Like what's on her mind? Right. Right. I think Herb. Maybe something's happened with Herb. Well, I mean she has to have a drawer, a bedside drawer full of hardware at this point oh yeah it's it's it's crazy Eddie and her bedside table it's in the neighborhoods lights are dimming I think the stoplight goes out once in a while and he's just snoring through it yeah she's got cancer of the colon from

sticking that plastic up her ass every night wait that's what happens yet leeches oh is it so hot? Yes. Right right right okay. Don't forget folks if you'd like to support the show we want you to encourage you to go to fabric.com slash papers and get yourself some term life insurance also Game Time app and put in code papers for $20 off your first purchase. Also don't forget Cleveland Hilarities this weekend. Mike, anything you want to promote? Oh boy the British office it's almost 25 years old. Wow and don't forget the t-shirts are available go to FitsDog.com pick yourself up a t-shirt for the holidays.

Thanks for listening and we'll see you guys next week. Take it ish. Take it ish Sunday Sunday Hey hey papers Breakfit, Breakfit Simmons Breakfit Simmons Mike Mike Givens Mike Givens Sunday papers Sunday Sunday Paper papers Get ready for Las Vegas style action at BedMGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous

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