Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 244 12/22/24

Episode Date: December 22, 2024

Luigi Fever roars on and a dead bear falls on a hunter. Drones are droning on and you can now buy ammo from vending machines.Download the Gametime app and use code: PapersWatch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Thanks to Heil Sound for the new microphones https://heilsound.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Here ye read all about it Sunday paper Got it got it got it You're in your bathrobe. You got a dog You're petting him Me? He fetches your paper. He brings it to you three two one

And we're plugging in read all about it two one and we're plugging in read all about it read all about it read all about it this is like the footprints poem where the man says God how come when either you know the footprints poem yeah it's like I walk alone wasn't Jesus carrying like I there was to you walk beside me and there were two sets of footprints in the sand, and then when things got bad in my life, there was only one set, and you abandoned me. Why did you do it, Jesus? And he said, Jesus goes, I was carrying you, fuckface. He's just, you know what, he's vindictive.

He's vindictive. He's petty. He is insecure. He always wants to get credit. He's jealous of other gods. It's like the first commandment or the second. He's furious. He's furious that you would even like anybody besides him. I am telling you the best is to watch Christopher Hitchens talk, especially debate people of Catholic faith, particularly. But go do yourself a favor if you're a doom scrolling,

just put in Christopher Hitchens in the TikTok or Instagram. And just, he is so witty also. He's got a great book called Christopher Hitchens Explains It All that I read many years ago. Oh, he's so smart. Yeah. By the way, regardless of what you think,

what a giant brain. Speaking of books, and I should say to people, if my voice sounds hoarse, I shouldn't say flu. It's a bad chest and neck and throat cold. He's dying. Everyone's sick, by the way, everyone everyone and I'm getting on a red eye tonight for a 26 hour flight to South Africa 12 hours 13 hours to London then another 13 hours to Cape Town and then we're getting then we get on another

plane for another hour and a half to George three fucking flights yeah I know it's too much man and you're like maybe you have the bird flu that's that's trying to make a comeback well that would be good because then if the plane goes down I jump out I fly that's true yeah you? The aviary condition, sure. So anyway, I'm bringing a book that I've always meant to read. I'm gonna try to read, my goal is to read the entire book on the plane,

which is called... Interesting, fascinating. By the way, he did not, for your listeners, he did not freeze, he he did not freeze he did freeze but he's live freeze oh my god all right while you're getting that I'm gonna tell the listeners the joke you know the old joke of these two old guys in a retirement home and one goes hey I I've got this new pill I take for memory. It's amazing.

And he's like, what's the name of it? And he's like, oh, oh, oh, it's a flower. And the guy's like, a flower? Is it like a tulip or is it a weed? You know, is it a herb? And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Oh god, it begins with an R. And he's like, Rose? He's like, that's it.

Rose, what's the name of the medicine? That's what just happened. It's called The Alchemist. Have you read it? No, no, but I've heard lots about it. I think it's one of those books that I mean, there used to be that it was assigned to my girls in school. Yes, it's definitely a book that young people have. My son had a very powerful connection to it when he read it and it's been sent to me by people.

It's very accessible. It's like, you know, those Richard Bach books like Jonathan Livingston Segal and those, you know, it's it's new agey. It's a little silly. If you, if you're going to get a book, keep talking, I'm gonna get a book. I think if you're cynical, you go into a book like this, and you don't take a lot out of it. I think it's like being hypnotized. If you believe that you can't be hypnotized, you will not go under. And I believe that I I need a spiritual awakening right now. Sorry, what are you talking about? I'm back. JZ did it.

I need a spiritual awakening. I'm in a journal, I'm gonna meditate, I'm gonna hike, and I'm gonna read this book, and I think I'm gonna come back. I'm done right now. I'm so fucking, I've been going nonstop since July with this special and doing too many podcasts and I've been on the road every single weekend. And I'm honestly dropping balls left and right like I'd never have before.

I can't believe you're here today. You're leaving tonight. It's crazy. I'm leaving. But both of us are here. I've been busy for the first time forever. But catch everybody up. I will in a second. But listen, this book seemed interesting. I'm just gonna this is a I know nothing about it. But it's it struck me as interesting and I'm going to give it as a gift. I haven't given a book as a gift in a long time. It's not a good gift. A book a book is an assignment to us all the beauty in the world. I heard kind of the idea of this book and I'm like, that's all I need. So one line I'll read from the back is the author's brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he found himself needing to escape the mundane clamor

of daily life. So he quit the New Yorker where he was a writer and he sought solace in the most beautiful place he knew he became a security guard at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Yep the New Yorker did a piece about him. That's probably where I want I can't wait to see what it's like. Speaking of reviews the girls and I watched gladiator 2 last night I thought it sucked. I think a lot of people thought it sucked. I didn't know that. Yeah. Gladiator is so, you realize, and I can't believe Ridley did

both, Gladiator. I'll catch people up. So briefly, we did a roast of the year. I think we've talked about it on Netflix. Jeff Ross hosting. We had Sam Morrell and Mark Norman and Hannah Berner and Miss Pat and Miss Pat and Tim Dillon also. It was it was very good. It's a sprint. It's like 40 minutes or something and been editing it all morning and getting You guys taped it in 40 minutes? No, no, about three times that length.

And not a good taping. And now we're getting, believe it or not, goddamn notes, because we're pretty harsh. We're getting notes from Netflix. So that's what I've been dealing with, literally even during the setup of this Zoom. Who is gonna be the one that people are talking about? Nikki Glazer was the one they talked about from the from the tom brady roasts and i guess

hinge cliff as well who are they going to talk about from this i don't think there's a stand out as much as they'll be like whoa that joke you know they'll talk they'll talk about jokes i think right uh yeah i mean jeff does the thing we used to do on the burn, which is we used to call it too soon. But it's an in memoriam of people we lost this year. So we're getting notes about one of the people who died this year because their estate apparently is kind of litigious. Really? Yeah. Well, it's more complicated that but I'm not allowed to say what it is. But just know it's not Richard Simmons. All good with him.

Good, where did you guys record the special? In a very cool venue in downtown Los Angeles called the Bellwether, where Mikey goes often to see bands. Oh, so it was intimate. It wasn't like a giant theater. No, it was intimate. We made it even more intimate. We ignored the stage and moved our stage, built one in the middle of like the

floor. It's kind of like a stage with a floor and then about wraparound balcony. And we put in the middle of the floor. Oh, actually, as I described that next year, let's say we get to do it again. And if it could be bigger, it would be great in the palladium, would be amazing actually. Any celebrities show up for the taping? Yeah, Diplo. Uh-huh. So we quickly, just like I need a Diplo joke, quickly, we know that's not short for diploma.

Ah, that's good. And then Seth Green and a couple of others. Yeah, there were some people there. Sweet. Well, that's the problem. It was kind of an industry crowd, a lot of friends. You know, a lot of people have off and they're going to parties. And they treated this like a party and they came by.

And for all of you in the rest of the world, other than stupid Los Angeles, we have, as Greg can tell you, the worst crowds in the rest of the world other than stupid Los Angeles we have as Greg can tell you the worst crowds in the world. Worst crowds in the world. I mean I should say with the exception of the Comedy Store which I really love those crowds for some weird reason. Oh when it's real people it helps. The Improv has really good crowds, the Laugh Factory, but when you go into rooms outside of that, it's very, I don't know, some some New York comics don't even like the the main rooms out here. But I've maybe I've just figured out how to work them after all these years.

There were a lot of comics, for instance, that came by and friends of the show and friends of our staff and friends of the performers. And as you know, even if you were there, well, you're a very generous laughter, but you have to remember to make it audible, just like me. Because what we'll do is if it's a killer joke, we'll nod and pat the guy next to us like, shit, that was a great joke.

But we won't make noise. Right, right, right. So we are sweetening that motherfucker. With the crowd noise from the room but sometimes we would do pickups and it's the second time they heard the joke and shit. Wow. Anyway, December 27th so I guess five days from now it in the night before I guess this is the new version of a lead in on television, so to speak. Squid Game premieres at midnight, I guess two nights before our show, but the day before our show.

So they'll run promos for your show during this before Squid Game starts. It's not even that. What it is is when you're in the Netflix universe, you'll see us on the page. Okay, got it. Yep. All right. I like it. Sure. Well, I'm very proud of you. Congratulations. I know you worked very hard on it and I'm glad that it turned out well. Yeah, I'll try very pathetically to find some jokes later.

We're doing some of the topics. I'll see some unused jokes if I can find them. Good. Or maybe you can use the one that was mine that somebody on the panel used. Yeah, do we want to say which one that is? No. Okay. We're going to do predictions on the next episode, which we think the next episode will be. You don't want to say the n-word here. Oh, God, he's dying. January 5, maybe the next episode, if I can manage to get one done from South Africa because I'm going to be there for three weeks.

We already pre-recorded next week's episode and we're going to get to the predictions that we make every year. And then still time for that earthquake. I had some good podcasts in the last few weeks. I had Sam Morell on, I had Ari Shafir on, I had Tom Papa on, so check those out on Fitz Dogg radio. We need some songs people. It's a new year and we are light on theme songs, so if you have any musical ability. And when I say that the bar, you know how they say bar is low?

There's no bar. There's just the door that's open and you send your song right through it. I don't even think there's a door just show up. It's like a big field. Just just just even think about it and you're there. As long as that's a great that's a great logo there though. Think of punk rock meets a nursery rhyme. That's what we're looking for. I love this logo.

Bruce. Logos, nice. Bruce Wise did a very cool logo of us and we are stealing Santa's toys. Very cool. People are pissed off and rightly so about the koozie thing. Yes, I've been busy. I apologize. I'll send two koozies to people I've kept waiting over a month or so. And the t-shirts are being handled by a professional company.

Apparently they're getting... I ordered one just to have the experience of what's it like to order a t-shirt, how long does it take, how hard is the website. The website is such a piece of cake you go to FitzDog.com there's a link and you can buy it in like 30 seconds. How do they lick all those stamps so fast? I'm amazed. Tons of choices of color and logo. There's the Take It Eesh, there's the Sunday Papers one, and then there's another one. So go to FitzDogg.com get yourself a little late holiday gift maybe something for the New Year's song this week Joseph Bernard for the predictions episode you can wear

it yes right Joseph Bernard wrote a very cool song and dug that a lot thank you Joseph few corrections this is I have a feeling most of the fan mail for this pot is directed at Greg to correct his Fitz facts. Let me correct this imbalance by offering some criticism of Gibbons. You ready Mike? Oh all right. I haven't read this. Go ahead. I can't wait. Mike was all over the place in the latest episode 1224. Greg actually showed a great deal of patience. Yes, I do. Dealing with the constant tangents and distractions. Here are just a few examples. Looking up the name of Scorsese's editor. All right. Who wrote this? Ryan

Arming that Scorsese's editor had won an Academy Award. Okay. Finding a list of alumni from an art school in New York no one has ever heard of, searching for a Jesselnik joke, taking a call from Gubbins during the show. All of these interrupted the flow of the show and the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. Mike, are you medicated?

This is interrupting the show. If not, get on that. If you are, it might be time to talk to your doctor about making some adjustments. The ADHD was raging this week, annoyed Ryan in Chicago. Mike, your response. The amount of patience it took to sit through that letter. I would just like to forward to Ryan all the mail we get where it's like, just use your phone to look up the name, god damn it. And I thought, listen, I own all those,

except maybe the art school. He has me on that one. Well, we used to have Chris Denman, who did a very, very slow job researching stuff that we couldn't think of. Well, you know how hard, the dark web isn't as fast as Google. Well, that's right.

Because he's being tracked by so many FBI watch breaks. Yeah, exactly. He has to go through six VPNs just so he's not traced. I think the breaking point might have been when you repeated something I had just said. That was the best. That was, I think, the point where we said, all right, maybe Mike's looking down a little too much.

This Corsese editor worth it. The Jezelnoke joke was hyster hysterical and I'll end by saying, if you ignore a call from Gubbins, you have to deal with that for like a week. Yes. So not worth it. Zach Komen said, Greg loved the show as usual, especially the corrections. And I have one for you. The guy you guys were discussing the theme song

having a Paul's boutique vibe. Then Greg, you said, check it out. And Mike correctly said that was not Paul's boutique, but then he tried to tell you the song you're thinking of is so what you want off the album, Check Your Head, but you were actually talking about check it out, the opening track from the album to the Five Burrows.

He nailed that because that is exactly what I was thinking until just now. Not the Five Burrows. I was thinking of Check Your Head. It's so funny because I you know I love the Beastie Boys and I have to admit like I never spent a lot of time listening to the first album because I just thought oh that was their like frat frat stage and it's kind of it's amazing well they were they brought rock to the equation yeah yeah but it's just it's so much more sophisticated than I thought it was. And I've seen some music videos of them playing tracks off that album and Jay-Z and a bunch of like top rappers

were sitting in the crowd, like grooving to what they were doing during their first album. So I just think about those guys were in their twenties and they break out of the New York scene and actually get as the first white rappers, maybe I shouldn't say it, someone's gonna correct me, but the first white rappers to achieve, you know,

Billboard success to get the acceptance of the, you know, blacks. No, totally. Did you see the one where Ad Rock tells the story? so deaf jam was created, you know in and Rick Rubin's NYU dorm room and Beastie Boys knew Rick and I think it was in the dorm room and it was ad rock was in there and he just kept getting These submissions now Rick Rubin and so ad rock would listen to them and they were mostly like DJs sending them in and stuff. And Ad Rock out of a huge pile or a couple of days piles goes, this guy's pretty good. And it was it was LL Cool J.

No, yep. LL Cool J was before the Beastie was after the Beastie Boys. So we're gonna get tons of corrections. But I know the was before the Beastie, was after the Beastie Boys? So we're gonna get tons of corrections, but I know the Beastie Boys were there, I'm forgetting Rick Rubin's first, but I do remember Rick Rubin really trying to sign Public Enemy, and Public Enemy went out and warmed up for the Beastie Boys, I believe.

Anyway, send us your corrections people know a lot more about this than we do. Except we know personally one of the original Beastie Boys. John Park wrote in a couple you pronounced it with a long A as in Tames correct pronunciation Tems. I think we've been corrected on that in the past. And it's Kate Schellenbach. I thought you were gonna pick up that little thing I said. The original drummer. Oh I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. Yes, Kate Schellenbach who's our friend from the Ellen DeGeneres show. One of the coolest people ever was the drummer and then they got a manager who kicked her out yeah. They talk all about it in

their doc. Further correction initial news report said Ellen DeGeneres was flooded out subsequent news reports said she was not affected by the rainstorm. Well she was just glad to be wet it's been a long time. Oh shit! Shot fired! And finally it's Union Square not Market Square. I think I was talking about San Francisco. Either way it's closed down. Nobody's there. Tour dates if you want to come see me live. Janesville, Wisconsin at the Comedy Cabin January 17th through 18th. Why don't I read this? This is exhausting. Thank you. He's gonna be in NIAC at Liberty Live, Raleigh, The Improv, Milwaukee, Improv, Vegas, Garrett, Brad Garrett's, Fontana, California, February 22nd, Stage Red, then

it's gonna be Atlanta, Hollywood, Hamilton, Ontario, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Boston, Tampa, La Jolla. Go check out all the dates on the website. What's your website? Tickets at FitzDog.com. You got it, pal. Now we're going to talk a little bit about game time. Oh, you guys know about game time. Support comes from game time. Support does come from game time. I like the discover button. So here's what we're going to discover in Los Angeles. The Broncos are at the Chargers. Oh, I'm going to discover in Los Angeles. Char the Broncos are at the Chargers. Oh, I'm going to that. That's today. I forgot. But you can go for 47 bucks and I bet it's going to drop. And then Billy Eilish. Well, I wish my daughter

got this goddamn price. It's tomorrow night. It's $329. I don't know if she's on stage with Billy, but I'm paying that much for like a fucking fourth of the price she paid. So there, Game Time's great for that. You go on, they have guarantees, you get to take a look at the view from your seats, they have super deals, they have the lowest price guarantee, they have event cancellation protection. And this is for music, this is for sports, this is for theater, stand-up comedy shows, and it allows you to wait it out. Prices come down, you track it, you get alerts, boom, you swoop in, you grab yourself the best possible deal, and go out, go see something live.

It makes you happy. Look at this. They even have like the American Ballet Theater here in addition to the Lailish and the Chargers. And my favorite thing is it's all in pricing. So the price you see is what you get. You don't have to do math like times it by three because that's where it's going to be with all the charges. It's ridiculous. So take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code PAPERS

for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code PAPERS for $20 off. Download Game Time today. Greg, what time is it? Greg Farris Game Time! Greg Farris It's also time for the front page. Do you have a paper? Greg Farris I can get one. Greg Farris Nope. Well, I have a book. I have wrapping. Greg Farris Oh, that's so perfect. Greg Farris I have packaging, I have packaging. Extra, extra, we are the thot is, extra.

All right, I love it. It's an unwrapped gift, it's a yet to be wrapped gift. Here we go. Okay, front page. Luigi, the man accused of killing United Healthcare's CEO has been charged with murder as an act of terrorism. Prosecutors worked to bring him to New York court from a Pennsylvania jail. Luigi Mangione already charged with murder in the December 4th killing of Brian Thompson, but the terror

allegation is new. Then there's a paragraph explaining terror law that Greg put in here, and there we are you're gonna do a joke as I look up according to this description did you read the description of what terrorism is I did not okay under the New York law such a charge can be brought when an alleged crime is quote intended to intimidate or coerce a civilian population influence the policies of a unit of government by intimidation or coercion and affect the conduct of a unit of government by murder assassination or kidnapping all right but isn't Rosa Parks terrorism then? She was a terror.

That bus had to stop. Everyone missed their connections. Right. Are you kidding me? All right. I don't know. I think they should do the you know there was a speed. There was there was speed one which was with Sandra Bullock where the where the bus could

not stop. And I'm thinking what if they did since everything in Hollywood now is has to have a black character and that that movie had no black characters what if we put Rosa Parks in part two of speed? Yeah I like that and it foils out like everyone's frustrated by her. The police, the terrorist, the passengers, the driver, they're like, Fine, you don't want to sit in the back, get behind the wheel. This thing doesn't stop.

Rosa time and a place. This is neither. I don't know which Luigi's jokes were done, but so I can't read a lot of them at all, but everyone can breathe easy. The United Healthcare Assassin has been found without a wedding ring. That was one early on. They suspected him in McDonald's because he was the only customer in the Pennsylvania McDonald's without diabetes. Was Giovanni's spaghetti Lamborghini already taken?

I think I can't read the other ones. I don't know if they're going to be cut out of this show or not. Everybody wanted to fuck this guy. I mean there's so many women that want to fuck this guy. Hey on your woke comment, when you watch Gladiator 2, if you do, it's also long. I think it was made during maybe the height of wokeness because like all of a sudden there's a female gladiator. I'm like, get that the fuck out of my face. Yeah, there was also Game of Thrones got a little bit like that as it went on. Definitely House of Dragons got very diverse. And what's his name? Who? Denzel Washington annoyed me. He made choices. He annoyed me to no end. Like

the the gravity of those actors, including Russell Crowe, but especially the other ones in the original Gladiator, it's non-existent in Gladiator too. Is Denzel a great actor? He's very Denzel, which I can say, like using the specific actor's name, about a lot of of great actors like Al Pacino is very Al Pacino Let's face it right. Yeah, but um

You know, he has to be your cup of tea same with Al Pacino. I think he's sure that don't like Al Pacino I think he's one of the true rare leading men like he really truly carries a movie Denzel. Yes Then don't see this. Okay. He seemed like a weak supporting character in terms of the gravitas. I mean him and Training Day was one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, that was that was I wish he brought that type of energy and drama to this. He was like light and I think he might have been he was at least partially gay, I think, which is not a plot point at all. Don't worry. All right, Miami,

the Porsche Design Tower in Miami built in 2014 is one of 35 luxury beachfront properties along the coast that a recent University of Miami study has found to have sunk by up to three inches into the unstable, sandy earth. Three inches might not seem like a lot. It is to me. But this is much faster than most experts anticipated. If you like football or Lionel Messi, he paid nine million dollars for an apartment in the Porsche Design Tower. And the view of the skyline is now a few inches lower than it was a decade ago.

The collapse of this 12-story apartment building nearby, which killed 98 people, caused geologists to keep a close eye on the buildings in the area. Sinking could be a sign that the rising sea levels are accelerating the erosion of the property's underlying limestone. Much of South Florida is built upon limestone, and this problem is not limited to just the Miami area." Well I'm sure a lot of the men in Miami can relate to something losing three inches and a disappointed wife. Also there's the younger Miami men who can relate to three inches disappearing. Know what I mean? That's anal sex right there. I get it. I get it. I think the sea levels are rising from all the tears from people's

spouses dying or kids coming down to the condo to live permanently. Could be oral sex too, just getting back to my joke. Meanwhile, cut to Lionel Messi crying like a little baby because his building is sinking and then the whole world watching Lionel Messi cry that baby. Wow, is that your thing with Lionel, his crying? Well, you know, there was when he got injured and had to leave the World Cup, that's all they kept showing. I also know he's the most beloved maybe most beloved sports figure in the world so I just like calling him a crying baby to upset people you know what I was thinking the I actually like him I love

him and we got a chance to see him play in Barcelona where which is his home team Wow and but it really is amazing because some people go like him Messi's the greatest player of all time and some people say amazing because some people go like, yeah, Messi is the greatest player of all time. And some people say with Ronaldo, other people go back and say Pele. But no, some people are fucking pounding their dashboards right now. Also don't forget the Argentinian Maradona. Oh, right, right. But I was thinking myself, what sport, what athlete is there in history that is without

a doubt unquestionably the greatest? And I think Wayne Gretzky is the only one in any sport that is that. I mean if you talk about tennis, you know, obviously you can look at Jokovic as having the most, he's got the most grand slams, he's debatable. Djokovic as having, you know, the most, he's got the most grand slams, he's probably got the most NBA, I get it. It's debatable everywhere. And also he has undebatably

the best, the great one is so much better than GOAT. Yes. And you know, Tom Brady, but then you're like, alright, what about positions? How many different, you can't compare them to defense? Never mind other offensive positions, right? Yeah, but no the Gretzky stats are just

Dizzying it's crazy, but you'll have Pittsburgh people you'll have Pittsburgh people talk about you know What's his name of and and and they bring up a lot of asterisks, of course. And then, all right, Bear. A 50-year-old man is dead after a bear fell out of a tree and struck him in what appears to be a hunting accident in Virginia. According to the preliminary investigation, a group of hunters chased a bear into a tree. and as the group retreated from the bottom of the tree

One bright hunter shot the bear as the animal fell it Struck him as he stood about 10 feet from the tree well, this actually reminds me of This had something that happened to a friend of mine. This is a true story. He woke up one morning and there was a bear on his roof so he looked in the yellow pages and there's an ad for bear removers. Called the number bear remover says he'll be right over. He shows up he gets out of his van he's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun, and a mean old pit bull. The guy's like what are you gonna do with that guy says well?

I'm gonna put this ladder up against the roof I'm gonna go up there and knock the bear off the roof with the baseball bat when the bear falls off the pit bull is Trained to grab his testicles and not let go so the bear will be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van he hands the shotgun to the homeowner and then the homeowner goes what's the shotgun for and the guy says if the bear knocks me off the roof shoot the dog. I love it. It's a true story. Happened to my next-door neighbor. You know this hunter I'm thinking it wasn't the first time a bear pounced on him. You know what I mean? He's gay. He's gay hunters out over sit in little hiding spots and just whisper to your buddy. You just whisper all day as you sip some warm beverages out of a thermos.

He has a lot of routines about things that are gay. Yeah. He says being good at sex is gay. That's my favorite. Being a Navy SEAL is cowardice also. Yeah, yeah. I love that one. Drones.

Oh man, you put a lot of, how much of this story needs to be read? Everyone knows there are drones over New Jersey. There's drones everywhere, that's all we need to know. They're all over the place. All right, I'm gonna look up drones jokes, go ahead. They have been LA. One of them picked me up the other day.

I was going to the Improv holiday party and it picked me up It was white and it charged me fifty two dollars to go to the holiday party. It was a Jaguar Have you seen those and you're calling it a drone Sorry the there's a name for way most Waymo's Waymo cars They are literally drones. They are driving through are they they say there's 200 of them in LA I swear to you there's 2,000 there's so many I have been at intersections where I see three of them at the same time what are the

odds that that would happen in a city this large right and we we saw one pull up me and my wife for going to a party and this these two kids get out of one and they're like 14 years old and my wife goes oh my god how was it and the kids said it was filled with pot smoke no I love that all right the drones jokes whatever there I're... Sam Morrell has a great, and if Netflix cuts this fucking joke, I'm gonna freak out. He has a great one that I'm not gonna say.

It's on the show, you can watch it. But get this. So the other day, I'm at a red light, right? And I'm on the scooter, so I cut to the front of the line, and the Waymo's next to me. So the Waymo's there, and it's a really busy intersection. I'm in Kore Korea town. It's

at Olympic and Crenshaw like super like like eight lane. No, no, like like 12 lanes intersecting. So like from each direction. So light turns green. And I know way most program it probably has to check like 15 boxes before it goes, you know what I mean? Is it like green? And it doesn't go. So I start to go and I'm like, what does Waymo know that I don't? And then of course in the crosswalk I see way to the left, a crazy person with his shirt

off and his pants undone just dancing in the crosswalk, walking. And I'm like, what is Waymo thinking? Because Waymo has to think about that. Waymo has to take it in. It has to know that the LA law is, even though this freak is about 40 feet away, he's in the crosswalk, which means legally, you're not allowed to go, even though it's a green

light. But what it let me do, and I'll keep this short, but it's definitely a standup routine, is Waymo of course knows all the world's history and he's like, you know, in Sparta, that culture killed these guys. It was much easier. The society ran so much better. If your kid was born a little mentally ill, right in a fire. If you just got rid of the people that were gonna cost society money and drag them down.

So Waymo will eventually just start running these people over. There's that. There's also what I love, especially for Woke LA is, the difference between racism and data. So like when Waymo sees an old Asian woman with gloves and a mask driving a Honda Civic alone, it gives her wide berth. That's what Waymo does because statistically they are a special type of driver. And that's what Waymo is going to cough up. And he's

going to cough up. Also, he sees some juiced up car with tinted windows and running lights and maybe a Glendale car dealer. He's like, Waymo's going to be like Armenian driver. They're very aggressive and he's going to slow down around that guy. And this will just be data, not racism, folks. Right, right, right. I like it. I like it.

I think it's a standard. I think the St. Patrick's Day comedy show is March 15th. Mike Gibbons will be on stage as always. And I think that you should do that routine. Speaking of which, it knows it's St. Patrick's Day. It sees this fucking face on top of my shoulders driving home at that hour. It's like stay the fuck away from that mic. driving home at that hour, it's like stay the fuck away from that, Mick. Yes. If you see TCP on the back of a black suburban, go around. That motherfucker is going to stop in the right lane, in the middle of the right lane, to let a bunch of Kardashian looking women out on La Cienega to go to a nightclub. The worst cars to be behind in LA are the giant TCP Suburbans. The Waymo can hear. If it sees an Escalade and on the screen inside it's playing Scarface

and it's blasting hip hop, Waymo just fucking drives into a wall. It's so terrified of that car it's getting the hell out of its way. Alright, let's do some entertainment. Here we go. Entertainment. All right, Greg, put Greg, thank you for loading all these stories, by the way. Of course, I can do is read them poorly. A judge in Brazil has ordered Adele's song million years ago to be removed globally from streaming services due to a plagiarism claimed by a Brazilian composer.

He alleges that the song plagiarized the music of his 1995 song Mulheres, which means women in Portuguese. And the composer is suing for lost royalties and seeking also $160,000 in moral damages. He also wants a songwriting credits for the samba track, which he believes the Hello Singer copied. $160,000. That translates to so many Brazilian reals that their economy literally can't cover it. If they tried, if he tried to put that in the bank, the Brazilian economy would implode. Oh no, the bankers would be like, be real. We can't, we can't exchange this amount of money. Get real, please. Por favor, or whatever. Por favor, whatever the Portuguese version is. I like the phrase moral damages, like Biden should get moral, I mean,

yeah, moral charges. I think Biden should be charged morally for pardoning Hunter, and don't even get us started on Trump's moral charges. Moral damages. All right, put yourself, and somebody said this to me, because I was saying he should not have pardoned him. If one of your daughters

was going to go to jail for 10 years. They just walked in my two daughters and I even right now I still have to pardon them all the time. Would you pardon them? You know what happened I think, first of all, it's bad. So hear me out. Now you're a better listener. I'm on your side. I disagree with what happened. I don't think Biden should have done it. He's an old guy. He's not odds are he's not going to be around in two years. And he's probably like, like nothing after what he's seen. It was after he lost. And he's probably like, a little bit like nothing matters, which most philosophers would agree with them. But but it does matter for the for us and for the moral damages of the country.

And I don't think you can look around and be relativist about it, like with Trump or any of that stuff. Because, you know, he's probably thinking he's probably justifying his mind compared to this pure outlaw that just beat you know my administration what the hell difference does it make yeah well but you were getting a more familial thing I get it it's a tough call it's a Shakespearean question it really is it's big is somebody gonna do a version of Trump as Shakespeare? Well, you know, gladiator gladiator play. Gladiator also

touched into that a lot. A lot of movies are now I think but it touched into Rome was a dream. Can we get back to that dream because it's all corrupt. Now Senate's corrupt the leaders are corrupt The Caesars are corrupt. Can we get back to this dream? That was a beautiful republic That was a beacon of the world. So there's a lot of that in in both gladiators actually, but this one. Yeah My other joke was that was what about the WAP with the WAP video stealing all the images of those fat asses from Brazil? They should be due some money for that.

Buy the pound. They should pay them by the pound. Yeah, exactly. Good point, Greg. Puppye, do you want to do this story? We could skip it. Well, very briefly, he's going to become public domain. That's what's happening because it is so many years ago.

And then the the copyright excuse me, expires. So Popeye. But what I can't wait for is all these canceled characters like when's Pepe Le Pew, the Predator skunk, when is he going to be free to use however you want? Now, that's good. I like that take. And Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse, but it's only the early versions of them are free for reuse. Can you imagine if they went and they started charging

everybody who had a tattoo of those guys, of Mickey or Popeye? Lot of Popeye tattoos. Oh yeah, but isn't like Betty Boop, right? Like aren't there a lot of like the old school ones? All right, let's make America, Florida. I don't know why I thought of a Betty Boop tattoo. All right, this is a rough story.

So just don't judge too hard. But a Florida man beat his child, child alive. Florida man beat his child for nearly 30 minutes over a missing couch cushion. Okay. I'm just saying it's the holidays. It's stressful. People have limits. people have limits and I just want to say that I'm not in any way validating or like vindicating this guy but if my remote control goes missing one more time when my kids are home from school I might be heading in this direction and they can hear you right now right no but I'll repeat it after they close the door on me because they don't like my voice but I'm gonna have a talk into

them later on it well I mean we're talking about cushions here that's you know you come up from a long day of not working as this father probably is and you need to sit down and this is like the opposite of a whoopee cushion there's no laughs there's no laughter produced by this 28 minute beating. Also, my remote control makes a lot of sense. Like it slips between what? It slips between couch cushions. What I'm wondering, how is a couch cushion missing?

I think I'd even, I think I would be closer to losing my mind. Like that would drive me more crazy than the remote What's the closest you ever came to hitting one of your daughters? I probably want to hit them The closest you came is when you swung and they ducked I Know I apologize. I have a thing I go I go. I need you to know how sorry I am. And she knows what I'm talking about. But I grabbed and the funny, the best part of this story that makes me feel better, although it shouldn't is I grabbed, I was really angry at her and she was young.

That's the worst part. But I grabbed her bicep and I 100% on purpose really squeezed it hard to hurt her. Like I was not only dragging her, but I was angry and I made sure that, yeah, it's so crazy to say, but I literally, it's nuts. I made sure it hurt her. Like I knew what I was doing. I'd like to say it was just rage and I didn't know.

I was just grabbing her, but that's not true. Oh my God, so many times, cause I was raised by parents that my mom used not true. Oh my God, so many times, because I was raised by parents, my mom used to smash, my mom was so fucking fast, she was like Spinks, just like quick jabs, not jabs, she would slap, like an open hand slap, but it was constant, you never knew when it was coming.

Because sometimes you would, like she got a school report, and then would just walk up and look at you, and then slap, and you'd be be like what the fuck was that? Yeah, and when had oh sorry good. Oh and and then my dad obviously but oh so it's kind of a miracle that I never hit my kids because I was kind of raised with it. Read all about it in Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons. That's all in there but it makes it can still be delivered by Christmas I think it's still right that being said she never hit me hard and I think it was just a gut reaction and so I was I never held

it against her but it was a different time everybody's parents did it back then no one when Hannah and I were getting to know each other and she has two daughters, at one point, we're like, you know, how are you with your kids and discipline, whatever. And anyway, I confess that story. And it truly was a confession. I was so ashamed about it. And she just looked at me and she's like, hold my beer like shoes just like you. I've done so much worse when I've lost my temper with my kids. And I'm like, oh, I got a keeper. Yeah. All right. Let's make question marks. Florida. I'm going to quiz you, Greg.

Meanwhile, I can find the goddamn story. Is it in here? Shit. Okay. Company debuts vending machines selling ammunition in three southern states. Vending machines selling ammunition in three southern states. Vending machines selling ammunition will now be in grocery stores in blank, blank and blank, a move that has generated mixed feelings from officials in those states. Each machine sells ammunition for various firearm calibers, including rifles, shotguns and handguns.

This is like one of those laws though that like, gives you a cooling down period like as soon as I can find somebody who can break a dollar bill, you're fucking dead man. It is a little bit like that. You're right. All right, go I can remember what they are, but I'm gonna copy and try to look for this thing All right, obviously, Texas Yes, ding one I got

Obviously Mississippi Weird that's the one everyone's gonna miss and you know what? Am I right that easy? They might not be that easy Texas of course, then there's there's two that you should get. I don't think we'll get the third. Wait, you're saying Mississippi was not right? No, not right. Okay. I'm gonna say Florida because we love Florida. I know you'd think that. Maybe this isn't as easy. Well, I'm guessing everybody. Let me try I'm gonna think a hunting state. I'm gonna go north a little bit up to No, I threw you off I shouldn't thrown you that off these are pretty all right, Louisiana and Arkansas

No, you know, I always forget Arkansas. It's Texas. Think of like also cocky states that love guns. Florida, of course, comes to mind, but it's not. And I think by the way, it's spreading. No, you know, Tennessee's a really horrible segment segment it turns out. Tennessee is a great guess. Jesus Christ, are they gone crazy? Um, Geez, Georgia? Yeah, I would have said that too. Oh, he's easy. I went to the end of the article here is he plans to expand into more states. Having received offers from get this one, California, Florida, Hawaii, and Colorado. But anyway, the original three getting back to our game was Alabama and Oklahoma. Okay, Oklahoma is okay to buy guns from a fucking cigarette

machine. All right, so what should we go on to? Oh, it's getting the hours getting late. Let's get down to this day in history. You got it. Here we go. All right. This day in history. OK, this is even blinder than usual so bear with me I had to look up. I didn't have the right date December 22nd

Okay Hmm. Yeah, let's try this Puccini Giacomo Puccini who shot the health care CEO. I'm kidding Giacomo Puccini the Italian composer I'm kidding. Giacomo Pacini, the Italian composer, legendary. He was born on this day, December 22nd. In what year, I'm going to give you a hundred and one year window, 50 years give or take. 1750. No, actually you're way off. 1858. What do you mean I'm way off? I'm off by eight years. You gave me a hundred years. It wasn't a hundred, give or plus or minus a hundred, plus or minus fifty. Oh I see.

All right. Well this is a little, well you know that's too easy. I was going to say Barack Obama signed Don't Ask, Don't Tell. That was a mistake. Let's see here. No, I don't like that. The Brandenburg Gate in Berlin was reopened signifying the reunification of East and West Germany. When did the Brandenburg Gate reopen give or take three years so this is different than the wall coming down I'm gonna give you inside

information I thought that's what it meant also but now I see it's the same thing and I was there. I'm going to say 1992. What did I say give or take three years? Yeah. God damn it 1989. Nice. I went there in the fall. I remember I think it came down in October and I was in Salzburg. Keep in mind, no computers, basically, no home computers, no cell phones,

and everyone in Austria heard the walls coming down. The run to the train station, everyone just left their air, their bed and breakfast, that's what they were called then, they left their bed and breakfast, including me, and ran to Berlin, and it was amazing. Amazing. I didn't know that. I know you were there for that. Yeah. And then I, you're like forest gump.

I know at one point this German kid was there with a sledgehammer and he goes, can you help? And I'm like, yeah. And so he and I whacked the wall with this giant sledgehammer. No shit. Yeah. And then I gave the pieces of the wall to everyone in my family for Christmas How do I know you for 40 years and I didn't know that you knocked down the Berlin Berlin Wall Yeah and the pieces would come off and you'd see the graffiti like they would be on one side and then the other side was all

asbestos. And that was my gift, which I did not know was asbestos. And then Uncle Johnny asked about them. And remember, no computer, but the New York Times wrote an article about how the whole Berlin Wall was asbestos. That's great. I love that. Okay, here's a good New Yorker one.

You ready? Okay. Your old friend, Bernie gets Bernard gets an American electrician shot four African American males on a New York City subway Alleging that they were mugging him the incident triggered widespread debate about race and crime and vigilante ism Give or take five years. 83. When did famous Bernie Getz who was sitting. 1983. When? 1983. You nailed it man 1984. I knew it was when I was in high school. For those of you who don't know, I mean you've seen the scene in movies a lot

now. Even the Joker did it I believe the first one he's just a quiet little psychopath Just wait just sitting but he carried a gun with him and they picked on him allegedly I think and I think allegedly and They picked on the wrong guy Yeah on the wrong guy. Yeah. Okay, some fools. And I'm not saying he was right or wrong. I'm just saying even they would admit they picked on the wrong guy. Are we going to one last one? Let me find a juicy one. There have been good ones. I don't think you know much about Chet Baker. By the way, here's a trivia for Austin, for somebody that wants to come through the show. At some point, I picked a

pretty large booger from my nose during this podcast. I'm not saying when it was if they can find it and send it to me, I will post it. That's a good Easter egg. All right, I'm going back up to a boring one here we go. There's Argentina to keep it all tied together but no we're gonna go with Dr. Shavago David Lean's adaptation by the way great movie to watch this time of year with all the snow in Russia. Dr. Shavaga was the adaption of

Pasternak's novel. It had its world premiere. Again, David Lean, Omar Sharif, Julie Christie, one of the highest grossing films ever, especially adjusted for that time. So give or take, I'm going to give you six years on either side of this date 1960 no you know what we're ending on a high note 1965 you did it oh man unbelievable what do you mean high note I nailed almost all of them I was on fire no but it was like it was perfect it was like from one friend to another I gave you not five years I gave you six yeah I love it it covered All right. obituaries. Nobody died this week. Thank God. But tune in in a couple of days. Yes. We do obituary section in the roast of 2024 on Netflix.

So you basically took our podcast and turned it into a special for Netflix? Jeff and I used Jeff Ross and I used to do them on The Burn, our show on Comedy Central. He called it too soon. No, we're very, we're very sincere. That's the nice part of what we do. Yeah. All right. Let's get to the funnies and cheer up. We don't have to cheer up. Hold on, buddy. New section. don't have to cheer up. We're just we're just already here. Alright so last week's caption was a clown and he's standing behind a sedan, a car, and he has his hands on the back. There's sort of a notation that his hands are moving a

little. He's looking at the camera as if he's up to something no good and his legs are pressed against the back of the trunk and maybe his crotch I mean I think the illustrator is trying to show us that he just slammed the trunk and he's looking suspicious just yeah suspiciously behind him but it's open for interpretation we just know his hands have moved the trunk have touched the truss okay Brendan says how many of Lizzo's dancers in the clown car one oh that's a good fat joke Ron Dvorak said a lot of clowns come out of a car

I come in a car see it could also be interpreted that way. That's how I interpreted it Can I tell you mine before you go on? Yeah, please even though we weren't assigned this. Yeah Oh, I'll give you a leaded There we go Yeah, I'm gonna do with a clown Brian Dardty says, if you think we can fit a lot of clowns in our cars, you should see what we can fit in the trunk.

I like that, probably dead women. Jeff Lange said, how did you think clown cars were made? Oh, yeah, he's having sex with it, and the car is gonna give birth to a clown car, I get it. Steve Stir, one less pair of fucking elbows in that little fucking clown car I get it Steve stir one less pair of fucking elbows in that little fucking clown car yeah right Ira in San Francisco after each dreaded uninspired performance Patches slams his dick in the trunk just to feel something I can already tell you that's the winner I can already tell you that's the winner. I can already tell you that's the winner.

We'll read the rest, but no one's going to believe that. Tim Hughes. Hello, my name is John Wayne Gacy. Would you like to come to my house and see my skull collection? Good, yeah, killer, killer. Matt Usher says, what are you staring at? I hear the last clown that put his junk in a trunk has a steady gig in Vegas. All right. That's one of those ones where it's just trim trim trim the last

clown that put his junk oh right sorry I did yeah this is a good carrot top reference this is where I stashed my hopes dreams and a few kids yeah Nathan Brown said I need the keys again I shut the trunk on my funny bone all right Nathan Kurt says you have the right to remain silent never mind because clowns are silent I guess I know do you just lock a cop in the trunk Allah no I think I think it's I think he's being busted by a cop oh okay yeah the cops just like that's too much to deal with yeah got it Brian Woodhouse says hey Pugly archie go get your fucking shine box all right yeah yeah trunk bodies in the trunk. Jack says not a magician by trade.

Chuckles also made women disappear. That's pretty solid. That's very solid, Jack. I appreciate it. Jack, you would have won on most weeks if it weren't for Ira. Was it Ira? Yeah, the the the koozie this week is going to a gentleman named where is it? Might not be a

gentleman. Ira in San Francisco. No I think Ira is a Jewish gentleman. Well who knows it's San Francisco. Yep. But Jack you have a better name than Ira. I think everyone can agree on that so So just count your blessings there. All right, next week's caption is, it's a little bit conceptual. So I thought, by the way, that was a tough caption. I appreciate you guys digging in. It did not lend itself to easy jokes,

which is kind of what I was going for, because sometimes we put something out and it gets a lot of the same punchlines. This one will probably get very few with the same punchlines. It is a... I like this. It is done by our friend Jason Love who does comics for us. It is an exclamation point sitting on an arm chair reading the newspaper and that looks like a band and then a woman question mark is standing up and she has a I think one of those feather dusters is that a feather duster or bouquet of flowers? It seems even despite the high heels that she's a housewife.

Could be a housewife. This is a typical domestic scene. Yes, and she looks as if she is berating him and he looks a little bit like taking a bath. The other thing, Greg, is anyone writing these who doesn't see them? Well, yeah, I think most people that experience our show do not watch it on YouTube. Almost all viewers not the question people aren't see how were they gonna see it then well if they're taking the time to mail it in doesn't by definitely

mean like aren't you don't think they're gonna go look at it and write a caption you mean look at it on the YouTube well isn't it on the website? No. Oh good Lord. Should be right? Sorry. From now on we're gonna start putting it on the website so you guys can look at it. No. Yeah. All right. You don't give us so much credit Mike. No people are seeing this I guess they kind of there's no way they're writing that stuff like the clown with the trunk. I'm going to Instagram it and we're gonna put it on the website from now on. All right and then meanwhile Haggar the horrible and lucky are standing there this is one frame and there's a tavern

and the tavern owner says don't come back and he kicks this guy out the door and he lands in a woman's arms and she says okay my expectations aren't what they used to be and he goes nice to meet you and Haggar goes nice catch so the implication is that this woman is going to rape this man he's drunk and he's just come out of a pub and she's grabbing a stranger that's how we read haggers we work backwards from who's raping whom yep yeah and then we got algorithm will excuse the word rape because I so eloquently use the proper whom. Yes I think we buy back a lot of points with whom because you used it as

the object in the sentence. Leroy is sitting in his office and he's talking to an African-American gentleman. He's in a cubicle. Leroy still works in a cubicle even though he's like 62 years old. And there's a woman walking away from him who's got a skirt suit on and high heeled shoes. And Leroy says to the African-American gentleman, Leroy, he goes, I don't mind having a woman for a boss. I've been married for years.

That's so fucking old-school that's so fucking like madmen you would have told me a comment yeah it's very 50s marriage yeah this must be one of bunny has old ones and then Leroy's eating dinner and he says to Loretta, this really this really is a feast for the eye. You certainly don't want to eat it. He really, she must be a terrible cook. She must be an awful cook. I mean it just seems to come up a lot. And now she's wearing a dress, she's got a shoe shopping bag in her hand, and she's smiling, which you don't see a lot. And he's sitting in his chair and he goes,

do you ever say no to the dress? All right. That's a recent reference. That's a current one. I think, unless I'm ignorant. No, say yes to the dress, it's probably only been on for 10 years. No, I know, but is the show referencing an old phrase or something? Anyway, here we go.

We are on number seven of Dilbert and I went back to find this and I saw what I put six last week. I have not read this one, but I can only assume they're getting worse. And I also think they left some zeros off. This has to be like the 7000th funniest over the way we're going. So it looks like a manager maybe has his coffee cup and his glasses on and he's bald. I don't know who this guy is and he has glasses. And he's at the he's at a screen. Somebody's projecting boxes.

And he goes, oh, I think it's a map of the office. Because he says, my cubicle is surrounded by loud idiots who make it impossible for me to concentrate on my work. And he's pointing at the cubicles on the screen. And then the smack your bitch up guy with that hair with the two pinnacles of brunette hair he's sitting at a table in the middle frame he goes did you create a presentation on why you couldn't do the presentation you're supposed to be doing and the guy off screen goes yes and then

the third frame we see the guy walking away and I guess the smack your bitch up guy goes, wouldn't it have just been as easy to create the actual presentation? And then the guy goes, I'm hoping to use this one more than once. So he got him. Well, you know what? This got us. This just we can't have that time back. We cannot have that time back.

As they have, look, you've read six, this might be the best one out of all of them, just in terms of like, all right, I get the attitude, I get the point of view. There's a joke coming from a guy who hates his office. Yeah, boy, they really don't like their office environment, the culture there. Yeah.

All right, let's move on. All right, so now Blondie's coming home. She's got arms full of packages. And by the way, she is set against- The legs are still out. The legs are still out. The legs are still out. She's got on winter boots, but the calves, because she's carrying the bags, her calves

are that much more accentuated, pushing themselves against his way. She's set against the backdrop of white clouds and white snow. Her stunning ruby red jacket and sequined blue skirt comes up. There's a wreath on the door and Dagwood is inside looking out and he goes, the only difference between mom and Santa Claus is mom uses the front door he's talking to the dog so he sees his wife the bearer of one of the hottest bodies in comic history and one of the loveliest faces he sees her as Santa Claus she brings gifts to the house and he's a child interesting why

isn't he saying to the dog you see her she uses the front door but I'm gonna use mom's back door tonight. It's a dog. He won't get it. Yeah. He's going to be at the foot of the bed and yeah, it's going to sound a bit different tonight, but he can't really know what's going on except that he's hurting her. What?

Yeah. You know how you fuck dogs? That's what I'm going to do to her tonight. From behind. You know the male dog next door that you hump all the time? Yeah. It's going to be very similar to that. Look at that package. Daughters here in the living room. Look at that package. No I'm not talking about the one she's carrying. I'm trying to think what my daughters have heard since

they got home but it definitely included the rape. Yeah rape was right out there. Yeah. Alright listen you wanted out there. Yeah. All right listen you wanted to stop. Proper use of pronouns. What? This was a short podcast because I have no voice. I'm getting on a red-eye in two hours and you are editing a special that will premiere on Netflix on December 27th called? Called called toasting 2024. Well, hopefully it's big hit. I don't know what it's called. By the way, that's one of the notes we're getting

is on title and stuff like, Torching, Torching 2024, a Roast of the Year. I think it should just be Torching 24, not 2024. Being tortured at the end of 2024 hmm we got a lot of Aaron Rodgers jokes that that I do know oh no kidding no not because of notes just that we we had a we had a cut so much for time yeah um all right and uh don't forget support our sponsor a game time has been a sponsor for a long time and for a reason.

We believe in it and we seem to do pretty well. I guess we get a lot of people using it because they keep advertising with us. Be one of them. Get $20 off right now. Create an account. Redeem code PAPERS. Also don't forget Janesville, Wisconsin coming up. NIAC New York.

Raleigh. We'll see you guys out there. Mike, anything you want to promote? Yeah, have I mentioned this Roast of the Year 2024? Let's watch that, it's coming out on the 27th. Okay, good. All right, thanks for listening. See you on the other side.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Try to pause and be present if you can. Something Greg and I are struggling with with how busy we are but we're gonna do it and we're gonna take in this holiday season before it blows past us. Merry Christmas. Take it in and let it out. Is that the phrase? What? Take it in and take it each. Take it each. I'm not fast on the uptake. Hear ye, hear ye, read all about it. Sunday papers.

Got it, got it, got it. You're in your bathrobe, you got a dog. You're petting him. Me? He fetches your paper, He brings it to you. Your wife, she left. You're drinking this whiskey in the coffee cup. And we're here to cheer you up.

Hear ye, hear ye, read all about it. Read all about it. read all about it. Alright, take it ish. Take it ish.