Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 251 2/9/25

Episode Date: February 9, 2025

Superbowl picks and reviews of the new Zeppelin documentary. East Hampton residents will not have their domestic servants deported and Kanye is…. Well, Kanye.Watch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Taxes was taxing. Now taxes is relaxing when you file for free. I can file for free. TurboTax Free Edition. Roughly 37% of filers qualify. Simple form, 1040 returns only. See if you qualify at TurboTax.com slash free. Hmm. I can file for free. Now this is taxes. File for free with TurboTax Free Edition and get your maximum refund. No schedules except for earned income tax credit, child tax credit, and student loan interest. See if you qualify at TurboTax.com slash free. Sunday papers, we're all about it. Sunday6, H6. Clapping in three, two, one. Three, two, one. Read all about it!

Read all about it! Sunday Papers coming here. We're both in LA for a change. That's kind of exciting. All right. We got to hang out last night with a big celebration of Led Zeppelin last night. Dude, I engineered the whole thing and then I over and then I drank like I was a teenager loving Zeppelin again. What were you drinking? I was drinking Jimmy Page's Jack Daniels. I need some Jack and Cokes. I snuck some into the theater.

And that's when, did you see me hand Tom a big soda? Yes. That was a lot of Jack Daniels in that. So basically I saw this, you had a pouch of whiskey in your pocket, like a 13 year old going to a sticks concert at the forum. Well I give that 13 year old some credit. I mean that's first of all if you're going to a sticks concert you'd have to give me a lot more than alcohol. Yes I

had one of those soft they're all on Amazon they're the best things ever it's a clear plastic pouch they're basically a little you soft they're all on Amazon are the best things ever. It's a clear plastic pouch. They're basically a little You know, they're soft clear Flasks and all different sizes. And anyway, yes, so that was in my coat Yep, I'm that guy but dude So you knew nothing about the movie going in I literally didn't know if this was a you knew nothing about the movie going in. I literally didn't know if this was a movie

with actors in it or a documentary, which is I love seeing a movie knowing nothing. It was so impressive. So this, it's called Becoming, I think it's called Becoming Led Zeppelin, and clearly it's part one. It's gotta be part one because they only get to Led Zeppelin two.

They only cover the first two albums plus the making of the band. It was probably six or seven of us there and people were like, I couldn't stay in my seat. I wanted to get up and dance and cheer. It was so moving. Mikey Fitz was crying. It's very moving because, you know, look, we've all seen the formation of a band. They get big. They get on drugs. They're like the whole fuckin', you know. Yeah.

But this one was different. This one really charted, it was like four musicians that all had really solid backgrounds. Two of them were session musicians who had played on like for the biggest artists in the world. They were, they were, they were session guys. That was John Bonham and John, John Paul Jones. No, John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page. Oh, and Jimmy Page. Right, right, right, right. And and then Robert Plant was only like 18 years old,

but he had already been touring the country, fronting a different band. So he actually had experience on stage. It's incredible. And you know what it was, it was about just. So this documentary isn't about like any of the controversial things is that blend their plagiarism, they're sleeping with young women on the road. 14 years old, Jimmy Page. All right, well, it didn't even go into that, so that's Greg, that might be a Fitz fact.

I don't know. No, no, no, no. I know, I looked it up because I couldn't wrap my head around it. But she was an old 14, Greg. She was a, yeah, she was a. So anyway, it was about the music. And I'd say the kind of my biggest takeaway was, and they showed the shot a couple of times, it was a basement room where they first got together.

And they all four remember individually being interviewed the song that they first played, and they looked around and could not believe what was happening. It was an old blues song I can't remember what song it was. It was just this chemistry and they knew they had something special and they were Led Zeppelin by time they walked up those stairs and that's one of the most amazing things is then they show them at Dan Marks Radio and over in Sweden or Finland or wherever it was.

And they hadn't even gotten a gig in England yet, but the Yardbirds broke up, so they got some Yardbirds dates just by dumb luck, because Paige was in the Yardbirds. And so they kept the dates. And they walk on stage and it's a bunch of like 15 year old Danish teenagers sitting on the floor. The amazing thing is they had like steady cam,

they had like good cameras set up. It was like a three camera shoot. The sound was unbelievably good and it captured Robert Plant with his fucking sexy long hair shirt down to the navel and John Bonham wailing on the drums showing a ferocity that these these Scandinavians have never seen fucking you know machismo like this before in their lives and they're just blown away. But the crazy thing is they're playing cuts from Led Zeppelin 1 that are,

and they've been together for three months at this point and they are playing note for note, drum beat for drum beat, exactly how these songs were recorded. Yeah, and so it's an impossible room. Like I've said this before. You see it and you're like, no, no, no, this won't go well. Like these kids run up, it's like three rows of kids

on their knees and this, yeah, plant is 18, none of them are past 23, I don't think. Anyway, and you're like, there's no world where this is pulled off. And then they go in a dazed and confused, and you're just like, what? And eventually the cameras are doing closeups and they're like, this might as well be

Madison Square Garden. That's how they're playing. And there was a line in the documentary where Paige goes, listen, we cannot look out at the crowd because we know what we got. And no one else is like, and you know, Govins was sitting next to me and he goes, and he just said the best line at one point,

like they're playing this other, their first other like real kind of concert, not at the radio station. And he's just like, they have no idea what they're seeing, like talking about the audience. Yeah. It's so true. So here and then we'll stop talking so much about us, but go see this documentary. You don't even have to be, especially if it's like typically a guy out there, you can bring

the wife or girlfriend because I honestly think, I mean I think I'm being objective here, like it's just about magic striking, which happens to a lot of artists. Well not that many, but you know, there's plenty of stories about them, and when that strikes, hopefully you take advantage of it,

but it's really, they all of a sudden realized they had this magic chemistry. So anyway- And they're amazingly humble. I think they all came off as just appreciative of each other, appreciative of the fame and the gold records. And they're kind of like, they really were the perfect band. They didn't seem, I mean, look, this was produced by the band. So like you said, we're not seeing the gritty underside.

And that's a film that hasn't been made yet that I would also like to see. Yeah. So John Paul Jones goes, "'We first played together in a small room "'on Gerard Street, a basement room, "'which is now Chinatown. There was just wall-to-wall amplifiers and a space for the door.

That was it. Literally, it was everyone looking at each other. What shall we play? Me doing more sessions, didn't know anything at all. There was an old Yardbird's number called Train Kept A-Rolling. The whole room just exploded. And then Plant goes, I remember the little room. All I can remember, it was hot and it sounded good.

Very exciting and very challenging, really, because I could feel that something was happening to myself and to everyone else in the room. It felt like we'd found something that we had to be very careful with because we might lose it. But it was remarkable, the room. It felt like we'd found something that we had to be very careful with because we might lose it. But it was remarkable. The power.

Anyway. So anyway, we watched the movie and then we go back to your house and like we're all so fucking jacked up about Zeppelin. We went back to your place and watch YouTube videos of Zeppelin for another, I was there for an hour and a half and then I had to leave and do a show. How long did you guys last? Did you keep watching it? We shifted over then to comedy

and like Tom hadn't seen Chappelle on SNL and I thought that was very good. His monologue but also that sketch of the family evacuating for the fires, you've seen that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good and then, yeah, we watched a bunch of SNL. Oh, and then SNL performances.

Oh, no, were you here when we started the documentary on the SNL bands? No. Oh, so we went to Peacock. Somehow Peacock's on my TV. I don't know how. But it has ads. Oh my God, What a momentum killer and

We started to watch the SNL music documentary. Oh no shit Yeah, it's very it's on peacock and it's it's pretty good and they got to the Sinead one and They you know, they interview the people And anyway, it was really really good. They talk about Elvis Costello singing radio radio? Absolutely. Did they cover?

What about Beck doing two turntables and a microphone? I don't know. I mean we didn't finish. It took so long because of the ad breaks. Alright. Alright let's get to it. Super Bowl buddy. Super Bowl is today if you're listening on time. I mean I

would think people would make the time on Super Bowl Sunday to get in Sunday papers before and if you did you're in luck because we're gonna go through all of the what do they call these bets? Prop bets. Prop bets which are just silly bets but there's actual Vegas odds on You can place these bets in Vegas. National Anthem will it last over or under a 21, 121 seconds. John Baptiste is singing it. He is used to being in front of a camera performing. He's a broadcasting pro. I'm gonna go under because he's not gonna fuck around. Oh so we're gonna all right I'll bet over. I mean the anthem you know that's pretty precise I mean music is math it's uh if

anyone has ever seen him do the national anthem they probably already have the answer and they have to close this bet. he do a sound check probably yeah anyway I'll take the over will Taylor Swift be shown during the national anthem we'll take turns on who gets to guess first no are you say no. I will say absolutely yes. I get the... By the way, the odds on this one are you will win. You have to give... If I get it right on $100, I get 350.

Wait, how did... I don't understand how plus 350 and minus 500 works. I don't know. Let's just... Because we're taking them. Let's just bet straight up. Will the first play be a runner a pass? A pass. Okay.

I don't know. I can scan down. I didn't see the odds. The odds are in the favor of the run. Yeah, okay, good. So I get there. The odds are in the favor of the run. Yeah, okay, good. So that's fair. All right, so now I get to guess first. Number of the first touchdown scorer at the Jersey number. Will it be over 15.5 or under 15.5? I can't even, just take,

I'll take whatever the opposite obviously. All right, I will take, I'm gonna take the over. So you get to pick the next one. of my home's first touchdown pass under nine point five or Over nine point five or under under okay? Will say Kwan Barkley rush for 250 yards no Well, we take turns I get to choose this one. No, no, but you read it wrong. Will Saquon Barkley rush for 150 yards? Yeah. Yes or no? I'm gonna say no. You all heard that, right? Okay,

I'm saying yes. Okay, will either trail, will either team trail by 14 points and come back we can't do this one because the odds are astronomical that's not an even bet and then what color liquid will be poured on the winning coach purple yellow green blue orange red or clear water all right I mean do teams sometimes have multiple ones to choose from? Do they have different colors? Because is this a matter of if I think Philly wins, I should know what color, right? Philly's Gatorade is right. So I don't know what I think Philly's going to win. I don't know what Gatorade color that is.

All right. Well, I'm going to Google it. Now, you're not going to Google it. What? You're not going to Google it no you're not gonna Google it what you're not gonna Google it no you got a guess I uh orange all right Mike says orange I'm gonna go with yellow yellow green how about the bet that nothing is bored the odds are that purple is actually the number one choice all right so those are the bets um why don't we put no clear water i think is the you want to put 50 bucks on the prop bets and then we already have 50 bucks on the game win or lose you have the eagles i have kansas city i'm giving you one and a half points. So why not?

$10 each bet Okay $10 each bet $10 each bet Let's take the Gatorade one out. That's but I guess that'll be a push anyway. Yeah, let's leave it in All right logo this week you have two colors. I guess yellow greens one color. That's I guess that'll be a push anyway. Yeah, let's leave it in. All right. logo this way you have you have two colors, I guess yellow greens one color. Okay, fine. Excellent logo timely this week, Bob did a nice one of us

playing football. I don't know why I'm the Eagles guy and you're the Kansas City guy because we're betting the opposite of that. Other than that nicely done I think he did an oil painting Jesus Christ song this week Dustin de Gaulier unbelievable guitar playing really nice sound incredible I gotta be honest Greg forgot to send me it I haven't listened to it yet but I will I have like I liked so much. I like them so much. I emailed him and I said, who's playing guitar on this? And he goes, it's me. He used the drum machine and then he played the and then he played the

guitar. Corrections in your February second episode, you mentioned OJ Simpson being sued. There's a possibility that you left out part of the story and somebody is suing his estate, but OJ Simpson has been dead for several months. OJ Simpson is dead? Jesus. What? That's amazing.

Was he killed also? I think if you are convicted of a crime, and in his case, it was civil. It wasn't... Wait, what's... what are the two kinds of convictions? One is civil and one is criminal. He was not convicted criminally. But I would say if you kill somebody and you're convicted criminally, you should die by the same method that you killed the person. Bludgeoning, stabbing, rape, and choke to death, whatever it was, in prison you can find somebody,

you know, maybe they got six or seven guys that are the standard executioners. The real victim though, if OJ was found guilty criminally and was put to death by brutal knife cuts to the throat. They have to find us another innocent waiter to be there with them and then that guy gets killed too. Which seems weird. Yeah, he's got sunglasses in his hand and he just keeps getting stabbed.

And then the state has to supply the waiter. Joe Blow says bedding boxes, better known as Super Bowl squares. I think I guess I called them bedding boxes. We got to do that, too. How much do you keep with that? Now we're going to have about we're going to probably have a dozen people in Dickie's garage for the for the Super Bowl viewing, right? Oh, yeah. So we forced this on Dickie. Do we already talk about that? So I know not at all.

I 100 percent said twice we can have it at my house because I'm not excited about sitting in somebody's garage, to be honest with you. I think it's going to be a nice setup. I've never seen it. But Dickie told me earlier this year, maybe as the season was starting, that he kind of redid his back area garage and that never came around. So then we talked about it on the podcast. Then I had to tell him we talked about it on the podcast and I floated the idea you did offer, but he seems to really be wanting it. Now the poor guy, as I'm speaking, it's Saturday morning, he just sent me a photo of him walking out of Costco with a 70 inch screen, and of course I'm like,

wait, what have I done? I thought you said you had this set up, and turns out Dicky's homeless, and now he has to find and rent an Airbnb with a garage, and now he's buying a TV. I'm like, are you returning that to Costco Monday? And we talked about that before the podcast and you said you did that one year.

I did that for a Super Bowl one year, yeah. Yeah, so how much should we do the squares? There's 100 squares, we got a dozen people. You figure people are gonna wanna put in 20 or 30 bucks, so three bucks a square? And you have 300 bucks in the pot. I guess I'm bad at that. By the way, another bet, I texted Dickie,

he was doing this parlay, I'm like, well why don't we leave the vig out of it, cut the middle man out of the equation, and he goes, he's to parlay Philly giving one and the over. The over is going to be low. I would take the under. You mean the over under, they set too high, you think?

Yes. So he goes, I've seen the spread at minus 1 and minus 1.5. And I've seen the over at minus one and minus 1.5 gray and I've seen the over at 48 and 48 and a half and the parlay is plus 350. I think I'm gonna take his bet, I mean, his bet on that. So you get the under and you get the Eagles with points? Well really I guess I'm just betting against him not getting the parlay. Oh I see. Right, right.

Yeah that's a weird one. So if you bet ten bucks you would owe him thirty bucks or thirty five bucks. Thirty five bucks. Right exactly. So we'll see. All right Vick's dog ring was in Virginia. I think we said it was in Atlanta. Wow, alright. That's from Betty Boop, our friend. We knew it was the South and I know here come the corrections of all these animal rings. The crazy chimpanzee women are mostly in the South, although Connecticut was a famous one. Oh, the woman who had the monkey that attacked her?

Yes. Yeah. But wait, have you seen, you got to see Chimple lady or whatever it's called on Netflix? Oh, I haven't seen that. Oh, you and I are. Oh, just watch it. Really? It's it's a I think it's three part documentary and it's great. As good as Tiger King. No, because Tiger King became like Shakespearean and all the different characters.

When you think of the pandemic and what people binged during the pandemic, I got to think Tiger King was the first and probably had the most impact. Oh, our country came together on that one. None of us knew what were happening. And thank God that insane Joe distracted all of us. Why hasn't Trump pardon pardon Joe at this point?

Panjez says, you guys are so obviously way to the left. No, we're not. First of all, the book, Art of the Deal, sold millions of copies, and there's always 50 to 100,000 copies left over on anyone's book. Thank you very much. Oh, boy.

See, I don't think that's happening with books as much now I think they there's less warehousing and there's more print-to-order type stuff This guy has to know though, right? Like so the person who wrote it, which is not Trump the person who wrote it It's his biggest regret in life. Oh, yeah I'm very upset about it. All right, so like let's just put things in perspective Also back off on the telling us when whenever we do a little Trump area, we've been making fun of Trump since the eighties because we're both New Yorkers and he was a bombastic idiot. Then nothing has changed except now he's a president.

We're still allowed. It's almost not political for us to make fun of this fucking idiot. So allow us that. Not way to the left. I would say a lot of, there's a lot of trimming that's going on that's very necessary. And I think that's the balance of the left and the right coming into office.

Democrats come in, they strengthen the safety net, they overspend and then the Republicans come in, they strengthen the safety net, they overspend, and then the Republicans come in, they tighten it up, they overspend on the military, they make tax cuts for the wealthy, and it just goes back and forth and somehow you hope over the course of time it balances out. But I am fiscally much more conservative, I am anti-abortion. I'm very, I'm very left, but he has it wrong. I'm so left. I don't like what he's calling the left. Please keep in mind, not to sound not to get on my soapbox. The left in America is right of

center. So let's just put that in perspective. Okay, we are a conservative country that literally believes in fairies angels, so Just hanging about Jesus Christ our Lord. Oh good Lord if they really believed in Jesus I think they would be a little bit more empathetic to the poor and the disenfranchised All right, we are a superstitious. All right, let's get to this next one. We are a superstitious, all right, enough. scared country,

that's all, go ahead. Just stop. Elliot James says, no big deal, I was gonna send this earlier, but then you left for Africa. In the past, you've done stories out of the Bay Area around San Rafael. Rafael, I believe Dennis Gibbons is from around there. He's from Mill Valley.

Might be, it literally says Govins yeah it's not like you read it if talking about that city in the future just eliminate the first E and the name pronounce it San Rafael just a local thing okay nice that's like what's the place I always go to that they get upset about? Oh, um, Obispo? Spokane. People always say Spokane. They go fucking crazy. Hey, before we move on to your dates, did you see the Grammys? Clips. Yeah. So listen, you know, my friend produced it and he did an amazing job, Ben Winston, and it was about the music and obviously it was about fundraising for LA.

But did you see Will Smith? No. He had a big role in the Grammys. On stage, first of all, a lot of people accused him of being drunk. He was kind of glassy-eyed. I don't know if he was drunk. He appeared like glassy-eyed, but he was talking about he kind of hosted a big part of the Quincy Jones tribute that they did.

Really? And me, like seemingly the rest of America, is like, get him off the screen. What are you doing? Get Quincy Jones, the pedophile enabler up there. Speaking of which, I'm coming to Fontana, California, February 22nd, Atlanta, Georgia, March 6th through the 8th. Don't forget our improv, Hollywood Improvs, March 15th is the St. Patrick's Day show.

Gibbons will perform, I will host. We have a very special musical surprise that I don't even know if I should reveal it or not. I think we're just safe to say it's gonna blow you away. It's a fun show. Hamilton, Ontario, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Boston. Escondido just announced, Huntington just announced, Tampa. Go to fitsdog.com, get yourself some tickets. I'll be at the Comedy Mothership on July 4th weekend.

Jesus, how did that fucking happen? Oh man, that's America, man. I gotta rate some material. I thought of a joke this week, it's not really a joke, but I was signing in to chat GPT, and then it's like, you forgot your password, so it has password, you know, clues, reminders, and it goes, you know, that I filled out before,

and who's your favorite grammar school teacher? And I was like, type in, oh, Miss Lombardo. NAI's like, no, it wasn't. I'm like, wait, I think, Oh, wow, you're right. It was Miss Livingston. You're right. How did you know? How did you know that? She hated you. Yeah. Youngest siblings name? Uh, Laura? No, your parents had a, had a child who died at birth. What? Like AI knows everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if we're counting your dad's other children,

then no, Laura's not the youngest. Wait, what? Yeah, what was your dog's first name? Smokey? Nope, because you adopted him, and he had a different name, it was Charlie, before you adopted him. That's exactly right, yeah.

I thought of a joke about gun owners and how they're always these fat guys that are chain smoking and drunk and they're talking about how they wanna protect their life and it's like, look, if you're really so concerned with longevity, take the gun out of the holster and put some low fat salad dressing in there.

I mean, if you're really concerned about living a long life, there's gonna be very few cases where that gun is gonna make you live longer. Yeah, exactly. Jerriam with my lefty views again. Let's get to the front page. Should we do it? Let's do it. All right, I'm gonna crinkle nuts. Oh, that sounded gross. No one's gonna watch this podcast. I'm gonna crankle my nuts. Oh, front page.

About a month before filing for bankruptcy last year, attorneys representing the interests of clergy sex abuse. That's right, we're coming straight out of the gate, getting off the algorithm immediately. Sex abuse survivors alleged the diocese of Oakland transferred $106 million into nonprofits Sex abuse survivors allege the Diocese of Oakland transferred a hundred and six million dollars into nonprofits that hadn't been active for years. The victims and their attorneys are slamming the transfer as a blatant attempt to shield

the church's assets in the ongoing bankruptcy case. The money they say should be available to victims as compensation for the abuse they endured by various East Bay priests many of whom never faced jail time for their crimes. That's the part that blows your fucking mind. Are you? I get it. Vatican City is its own country. Is each church its own fucking country with its own laws or does pedophilia spill over into the actual legal crimes of the country you're in? It's unbelievable. I mean, here's the thing, you danced, now you have to pay the piper. The worst part is in the court documents the church's lawyers called the sexually abused altar boys the Oakland A's.

No, they didn't. Yeah. Oh my God. Because their D's were in their A's. See, algorithm safe. The worst is not only were they molested by a priest, he was wearing face paint and a Raiders jersey. That is the worst.

Raiders. How can you make the worst human being even worse? I love that they're moving the money around the same way they've moved the priests around. Yeah. Like did the priest just take a bag of money with them when they get reassigned? The money is also hiding from taxes as we know. Yeah. How about that? Ready, all you Elon Musk fans? Why doesn't Elon Musk do the easiest thing ever, which is, hey, new rule, churches pay taxes. Do you know the windfall that would occur

if that happened? Yeah, right. Right, absolutely. If you want to save money also. Just have them pay as much as really rich people. It's not that much. How many hundreds of thousands of troops do we have? No war is going to be fought with fucking troops. Let's buy a bunch of drones from Radio Shack and release...

You know, forget letting go of the people that run the fucking education system. Let's let go of half the standing troops. Ooh that was controversial. Yeah man what? Greg not a supporter of the troops until they're not troops. All right so I put this story and just so you know I came here you're like hey add some stories. Your first story was about priests and of course it gets into the R word and then your second one was a Louisiana woman, which we'll get to in a minute, another sex crime where she drugged a guy and killed him in the world. So I decided to put this light story in between. President Donald Trump says he's firing members of the Board of Trustees for the John F. Kennedy

Center for the Performing Arts and naming himself chairman. Quote, at my direction, we're going to make the Kennedy Center in Washington great again. I have decided to immediately terminate multiple individuals from the board, including the chairman who do not share our vision of a golden age in arts and culture. We will soon announce a new board with an amazing chairman, dot, dot, dot, Donald J. Trump.

Can you do that? That's what he said. That's a literal quote. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the new calendar is also out immediately, and it has Kid Rock doing a residency all summer long Followed by Tony Hinchcliffe and Ted Nugent and then this was interesting a reformed act That's now gonna be called the red man group. Wait instead of the blue man. Yes

Interesting yeah, it will also no longer be called the John F Kennedy Center It's now the John F. Kennedy Center. It's now the Robert F. Kennedy Center. The concessions will have non-chlorinated water and non-vaccinated venison, which he will personally run over on 95 South every evening before the performance is. Is the venison in yet? No, he's running late. Sorry.

We just got to peel it off his grill. We're having a little trouble getting it off the grill tonight what a lunatic man what yeah and then by the way they contacted the they contacted the Kennedy Center and the Kennedy Center is like we haven't been contacted yeah yeah oh really yeah yeah they're like some people have been laid off. Like there were termination notices which obviously rained down on all of Washington DC. But the head of the board like you know that he is unaware of this.

I just want to compare if you want to think about who's going to book better entertainment entertainment at the Kennedy Center. Here was Trump's lineup. Christopher Macchio, never heard of him. Lee Greenwood, never heard of him. Lee Greenwood, are you kidding me? He lives on that song. Oh, John Allen. Not in my small town? No, no, no, no, no no no no he's Lee Greenwood's been around forever like that's my America or some some crazy bad song okay then he also made one for Canada then he had you're right kid rock he had the village people Billy Ray Cyrus talking about this was this is Trump's inauguration performers I mean, these people are all way past their prime. Rapper Nelly, I mean, these are all people from like the 80s. And now let's go to... God bless the USA as Greenwood's signature song. Inauguration...

I'm looking up Obama's now. Inauguration... Inauguration... Inauguration... Inauguration... Inauguration... Inauguration... USA is Greenwood's signature song. I'm looking up Obama's now. How about John Bon Jovi, Mariah Carey, Sheryl Crow, Herbie Hancock, John Legend, John Mellencock, Pete Seeger, Bruce Springsteen, U2, Usher, Will.i.am, Stevie Wonder. Who should be booking the Kennedy Center? Lee Greenwood also has a God Bless the USA Bible. That's the one that has the Declaration of

Independence and the Constitution of the Bill of Rights. And was made in China. Printed in China. Yep. All right, let's get to a Louisiana woman with a history of drugging men and stealing their credit cards, was arrested in connection to the death of a kid. Where you going, honey?

I'm heading off to work, going to work. death of a kid where you going honey I heading off to work go to work was arrested in connection to the death of a Kansas City Telemundo reporter while he was in New Orleans to cover the Super Bowl Danette Colbert 48 of Slidel was busted after she was captured in footage leaving journalist Adam Manzano's hotel room then used his credit card all around town she was captured in surveillance footage leaving the 27 year old's hotel room and then went on the shopping spree so it was a telemundo reporter so she she lured him back to her room saying she had a messy jersey and punch lines for their unfunny sketch shows. That's how she did it. Yep. Have you seen the... David Tell used to have this joke.

He goes, I want to learn Spanish so I can understand what I'm laughing at on Telemundo. It's such a perfect joke. There's always a guy with a clown nose and everybody's falling over. Oh yeah and Sabado Higante with the big fat guy. I always used to watch him for too long. I didn't understand a word and it was mesmerizing. Her defense though was that this was the guy's kink. His kink was to get robbed and killed. So that's the thing about kinks. You don't know what they are until you try them. That's the best. Norm's thing on sadomasochism. He's like, you know, you have to have a safe word. He's like, boy, did I choose the wrong safe word. Boring. All right. East Hampton. What's this one? East Hampton government officials are trying to quell wealthy residents fears that local police could deport illegal migrants from their Tony town,

many of whom work as maids, landscapers, and nannies to support the luxurious lifestyles of the well-off locals. Leaders held a special community meeting to assure citizens of their that where the median property value is two million dollars that their hired help are not on the radar when it comes to deportation. Yeah, because they this is great news for the workers. They will not have to find new jobs on one of Trump's golf courses. Which by the way, they busted for having tons of illegal immigrants working on.

Yeah. I like your joke about Maria. Oh, because yeah, this is the best. The families are like, oh good, because Maria is like a member of the family. Rich people always say that about their help. Yeah, of course. Yeah, a member of the family

who doesn't get to sit down for dinner, go to the beach with us, watch TV. She's like a member of the family who's being punished. It's like the only reason people are saying Maria is treated better than our dog is because Maria takes such good care of our dog it's really Maria's fault yeah yeah that whole thing like she's a member of the family she's a member of the family who is loading the dishwasher as all of our our family is now watching TV or whatever. Yeah.

Writing that down, I think I'm going to try that on stage tonight. A fucking 11 o'clock show. Oof. How were your shows last night after? One was a good West Side Comedy Theater is rough. Those crowds are a little they're a little sensitive. Oh, boy. So and then I went to the comedy store and it was so much fucking fun. Half the fun is just, I hang out with these comics who I've grown to love over 25 years of being in LA.

The hang is just so fucking good. Harlan Williams and Bobby Lee, who was with a smoke show last night Wow what's his name and then who else Owen Smith and it's just it was just so so much fun just hanging out and then Annie Letterman yeah good times they're great that's great so let's get. So let's get to entertainment. Let's do it. Where's the crinkle of the peanuts? Can't hear a word.

Kanye West went on a disturbing viral rant for several hours going after critics who slammed his marriage and calling himself a Nazi. The rapper initially tweeted about his relationship with his wife Bianca. She's so hot by the way. She does it for me. He says quote... Being naked on the carpet? Yeah. Oh my god. I have dominion over my wife. It said that she isn't no woke- ass feminist shit. She's with a billionaire. Why would she listen to any you dumb ass broke bitches? He's got a point there. He went on to say Hitler was so fresh. Fresh racist stereotypes exist for a reason and they all be true. Some

of my best friends are Jewish and I don't trust any of them. Oh really you're some of your best friends you may want to check in on the whole best friend status on their end because one of the stereotypes with Jews they try to keep their distance from fans of Hitler it's like an old trope, I don't know if it's true or not. So fresh, I mean let's keep in mind it was the Third Reich. It wasn't that fresh.

Right, right. It was it was Nazi 3.0. Yeah. The remarkable thing is, even with this and he could keep going on for days, he's still far less controversial than Diddy. That's the amazing thing right now. Yeah because that's the thing about Kanye is I don't remember anyone calling him on his behavior at any point. It's just the crazy shit that he says. Well he when he charged the stage and he took the Grammy hijacked the Grammys because Taylor won over Beyonce. Yeah but he didn't grab her genitals or anything. No he didn't oil her up. You know I think you look he's got a lot in common with Hitler. He's you know he's an artist who hates Jews and

will eventually commit suicide beside a money-grubbing whore. Is that what Eva Braun was? Yeah money-grubbing whore. She was 33. I looked it up when I saw this story. Ava Braun was? Yeah, cyanide. Really? And he told her to do it. His whore, she was very loyal, very loyal, very obedient. So Kanye, you're right, there is a lot in common, I think. A hot air balloon company is offering mile high flights with amorous mile high club privileges. Guests can enjoy the views with a whole basket to themselves and a privacy screen separating the pilot compartment from the passenger cabin.

The pilot will be wearing protective hearing gear and focus solely on flying and jerking off. Two passengers start at $1,400. If your mantra is the more the merrier, each additional adult is $159. So I guess the balloon won't be the only thing getting blown on that ride. Honey, what?

Honey, why can't you maintain an erection? Well, the pilot's wearing earplugs and an eye mask so we can't see us and he's flying a fire balloon in the sky Yeah, right a little on my mind worst case scenario the condom leaks and not the balloon This may be the freak offs. Maybe the freak offs can be held up. Is it an international airspace at a certain point? At a certain altitude? Do you not have to, you're out of America's jurisdiction? Yeah, over a hundred feet and also there's no paparazzi.

There's no, nobody's filming it. It's the only place where a celebrity can go do, go have a freak off anymore. I mean, planes can't even stay in the sky these days. the only place where a celebrity can go have a freak off anymore. Plains can't even stay in the sky these days. So now these balloons that are with a pilot has to pretend he's not there. That's gonna work. Yeah. All right, let's make America, Florida.

You got it. I grabbed them for the headlines. Florida man, Indalmatian Onzee is arrested after a wild chase with troopers. Okay, this is fantastic. Just after midnight, Florida Highway Patrol troopers attempted to pull over a guy driving recklessly at a high rate of speed. After initiating the chase, the guy crashed into a tree and took off running according to the report He was shot with a stun gun and fell to the ground as troopers were handcuffing him a fight ensued keep in mind he's in a

Dalmatian onesie so even him running and then getting stuck It's like hunting and then the stun gun brings him down. As they were handcuffing him, a fight ensued and he was shot with a stun gun again, but he escaped once more and took off running toward the woods. Of course, if you look, that's how bad this guy didn't want to be thrown in the local jail wearing a Dalmatian onesie. That's how hard you fight. Pedophiles will have a field day, especially the ones who love dogs. He's now running through the woods with one handcuff on. Additional officers arrived at the scene and a canine unit tracked him. So it's literally like tracking a deer you shot and they have a hunting dog with them,

and they tracked him to a nearby home. By the way, what's going through the dog's mind? No, track him to his own home. Yeah, but what is going through the dog's mind when he's tracking? Usually it's like some dirt bag in Florida that he's tracking. This must have caused the dog to pause.

Especially when we saw Dalmatians on his onesie. They were like, we got a lot of dogs to catch here. The dogs were probably like, oh another dog is already on this. I can stop running, thank God. That's the lead, that's the pack. That's the pack, Adam. What is it? The leader of the pack? I forget what it was. What is it called? The alpha, I guess? Anyway, so they tracked him to his home and the suspect's girlfriend told troopers, so this is a loyal but not bright girlfriend.

The girlfriend told troopers she did not want them near her home since she had drugs inside and did not wanna go to jail. That's what she said. Authorities, the last sentence of the article, authorities allegedly found drugs inside the home and arrested both of them. Oh my god that's amazing. Maybe not say that to them. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want you near my home because I have a gun. And I mean, it's just such a perfect Florida man story. I know it's not like if you're got a beginning, a middle and an end, if they pulled over, it's like, uh, have you been drinking, sir? Well, I don't want to say because I have.

Yeah, yeah. I bet the best is like crashing into a tree and then running. Like that's such a great impulse. Any other way, we go into a shame spiral, we feel guilty. Some people go like, oh, this is just the beginning. This is like a decathlon and this is the first leg. One of my favorite clips that comes up over because the algorithm knows I love it. It comes up over and over and over again is it's a guy dressed. He's almost like a tall elf. I don't even know what clothing, but he pulls over.

Elf. I know the person. No, no, but he's he's in like a costume, I think. And he, he opens his car door and starts bolting up this driveway and he's running and officer that is chasing and tases up and the guy just freezes up in the air and falls right on the ground it's his body gets stiff as a board it's unbelievable. I don't even know how you would like,

I can't like last night we were trying to find for Tom. Tom has never seen those Miley Cyrus memes where she's like, wow, that bad, bad, bad, bad. And then people just are playing animals and machines that sound like her. But you can't search well on Instagram. It's not like I could put in everything. I look for tags. Anyway, I don't know how to

search that guy. But would you get tased just as a joke? Just to see what it's like? I think at this point with my age, I definitely would have earlier, you know, police have to as part of training, or at least I've seen clips of it. I don't know if it's in every department. But I think now it's easy maybe to have a heart attack. I think if you

Get tased and you die of a heart attack people don't have to go to the funeral. I think that's a pass. Oh I see. Yeah, if we're doing it for kicks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that If we're doing it for kicks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that because I did a podcast with Ari Shafir once Where we went into the bathroom and I put a towel over his face. He put his head down He's laid on his back put his head beneath them and I water boarded him and he fucking freaked out Like he said it was the most painful disorienting thing he'd ever been through water was shooting out his nose he was screaming and I'm fucking and we did it on the podcast live we were recording it and then I and then I

go alright I'm next and then he did it to me dude you have no idea what it's like to be waterboarded you feel feel like you're drowning, you feel like you're dying. It's really awful. So. No, I am certain of it. In fact, I think I'm getting close to imagining what it's like, because there's certain times where, I don't know if it's I've been so congested or whatever,

but I get a sense of, oh my God, like my body could be so in a panic mode if I just like forced my mouth to stay shut and my nose is caught, whatever it is, that's not even close to what waterboarding is and I can still feel the panic rising. And so he came over my house last month to do another podcast and I tried to get a taser

and I actually could have online, but I just didn't, I didn't get around to it. But next time we do a podcast, we're gonna tase each other. I would maybe, yeah, I mean, what doctor is gonna give you a green light for that? But I don't know about that. Yeah, I do have little heart problems in the family. Let's make Philadelphia, Florida. All right heart problems in the family.

Let's make Philadelphia, Florida. All right, let's do it. Philadelphia man rents a billboard to find a date. In August, Dave Klein, a 28 year old data manager, real catch, rented a billboard in his neighborhood and put details about his search for a date on it. He's a good cook, has normal hobbies and owns a cat which is pictured on the billboard. It was a 12 by 12 foot square, it just had me and it said Dave is single, want to go on a date with Dave? Message him here. He thought a few people would message the Instagram account

but instead it went viral. Spoiler alert, which the article said, Dave is still single. So maybe take the part off that you're a Philly man, Dave. Maybe leave that part out. Yeah, yeah. I think Will Smith has gotten desperate since the breakup. Yep. All right, let's get to sports.

All right, here we go, more Philly. All right, so what do we got here? The Philadelphia Eagles will put an end to the Kansas City Chiefs. Is this your story? Oh yeah. So get this, they did a simulation. The Philadelphia Eagles beat the Kansas City Chiefs, securing a dramatic 25-21 victory.

What do you mean they did a simulation? Hold on. 25-21 on February 9th, at least according to Madden NFL 25. While many expect the Eagles to lean on their Barclay, the simulation instead saw the kicker Jake Elliott take center stage, delivering vital points in a tightly contested matchup. The Super Bowl simulated with every key element in mind, started with an early shock as the Chiefs star tight end and boyfriend of Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey, exited on just the second play with a rib injury that kept them

sidelined for the entire first quarter. I could see that happening. So they put all this info into Madden 25 and the Eagles won the simulation. Okay. But even in the simulation it had Philly fans having sex with mufflers on cars after the game. Even in the simulation, they're animals. They were simulated telephone poles that they were climbing up and falling off of. The simulator has a, they have one of those kiss cams and there's two Philly fans making out

and they throw up in each other's mouths and then laugh. Well, imagine the moment you realize you're making out with a Philly fan and they both had that realization. Oh, I taste cheesesteak. Let's go. Best case scenario. Let's go again. This day in history.

Let's go to this day in history. All right, this is a challenging one. We're gonna start with a tough one. René Descartes, right? The godfather of philosophy, some call him. I think therefore I am, right? Right, right. It is his birth, nope, it's his death day.

Okay, well that's different. He died, Do you want to know how long he lived? I'll give you that. Descartes lived for 78 years. 53 years. Oh, Jesus. He tased himself. It was weird. He had a friend over and he's like, I tased, therefore I am. And that was his last words. So anyway, he was 53 when he died. And he died on this day in what year or this week. And I'm going to give you 100 years. That's a 201 year window.

I'm going to give you 100 years. I'm going to say 1680. Dude, he died in 1650. No. Yes. Nice. That is strong, man. That's pretty good.

Yeah, I didn't know what you were going to do there. One for one. I was loud fire last week. OK. Whitney Houston took a bath, her last bath, on this day, this week, in what year? And she was 48 years old. I feel like we- Oh, give or take, give or take.

I'm gonna be generous, man. No, give or take two years. That's a five year window. I feel like we were out of college when it happened. I'm gonna say 95. So close, 2012. No! Dude, Whitney Houston 48 in the 1990s. Yeah, no, we were out here. She died in the Hilton.

Yeah. All right. We already did Mandela. OK. This is a simple one. Jennifer Aniston, what year was she born? Give or take two years. 60. One. What?

So wait. Wait a minute. So you think she's, what would that make her? Fifty- Sixty-four? Sixty, no. She was born in 1969. She's younger than me?

There you have it. Get the fuck out of here. She's younger than me? She's a friend, dude. Oh my God. American- I feel so old right now. Especially with how poorly you're doing in this segment. American inventor Thomas Edison was born this week in what year?

1840. Give or take, you won, no matter what. 1847. Nice. Dude, pretty solid. How old is the last one? And it's kind of, yeah, it's a different way of saying the same thing.

Give or take two, give or take three, give or take four years. How old was Abraham Lincoln when he died? Interesting. He was president when he was probably late 40s. I would say he was 55 56 nice look at you all right and here's the last we'll end on this one you get one mulligan what state was Abraham Lincoln born in well he was a senator from Illinois but I believe he Lincoln born in? Well, he was a senator from Illinois, but I believe he was born in Nebraska. Wrong, you get one more. Indiana?

Nope, here I'll give you a clue. So I think two of my heroes, legitimate heroes, Abraham Lincoln's one. And then there's another guy from this state also. Very different type of hero. Missouri. No. What were you thinking? Mark Twain?

No, I was thinking about Fa uh, uh, Faulkner. Oh. No. No, Faulkner's not eating. No. I have a picture of him up on my wall in my apartment. The other guy. Minnesota? No, that's a great guess. Bob Dylan. No, I wouldn't say Bob Dylan's a hero the way these two guys are. These two guys are shaped my politics, shaped my compassion,

shaped the way I look at the world. When I'm petty or defensive or any of that, I try to remind myself of these two guys. Jesus Christ, he was born in Bethlehem. The 51st state. Muhammad Ali. Oh. So what state? Muhammad Ali is from Tennessee.

This is a disaster, dude. Kentucky. Oh, okay. Kentucky and Tennessee are the same fucking place. Does anybody really know the difference between those two states? No, I know. I think that they should have a fight. I think we should have them fight. That you guys are going to become the Dak between those two states? No, I know. I think that they should have a fight. I think we should have them fight. That you guys are gonna become the Dakotas, okay? It's gonna be North and South.

So is it gonna be North Kentucky and South Kentucky, or is it gonna be like, no, it's gonna be like the Virginias. One of you is gonna get it, and then the other one's gonna get, it's either gonna be Tennessee, and Kentucky's gonna be changed to North Tennessee yeah or it's gonna be Kentucky and Tennessee is gonna be changed to South Kentucky yeah and

watch them fight it out all right they really hate each other too I remember your fiance telling me that they really look the the Tennesseans really look down on the Kentuckians I don't think they have that right. Kentucky's more evolved. I mean, other than Nashville, Kentucky is more evolved. They got horses. They got the horses and they got the, what is it, bourbon? Well, they also have more diversity, political. They have more political and socio,

I guess cultural diversity, I would say. And fried chicken. The Colonel, buddy. Yeah, baby. All right. You did terrible. Terribly. I nailed a couple.

I got real close on three of them. All right. Letters to the editor. Hey, Mike, where are you finding these Dylan posts? I've checked YouTube and Shit Shitter, but I'm not seeing them, Harold. I think I saw them, man. It's his Instagram account.

I mean, it couldn't be easier to find. Oh, right, right, right, right, okay. Let's see if there's any, while you're continuing, let me see if there's more. There have been definitely more since last week. Oh my God god yeah. So good. Wait go ahead keep going your thing. Okay. Bobby dead. There's Bobby Deren. He posted. We got all right let's hit some merch. Don't forget folks the Sunday Papers t-shirts are available. People are raving about them when they get them they say it's really high quality nice soft cotton

good fit many colors to choose from one says take it each one says Sunday Papers very cool graphic check it out at FitsDog.com. Coozies also still available. Let's do obituaries. You got it pal. Tony Roberts, versatile Tony Award nominated theater performer at home in both plays and musicals and who appeared in several Woody Allen movies. He's often often in the movies. He was Allen's best friend, has died. He was 85. He the I think it's the opening scene. It's a long shot on a sidewalk and he and Woody Allen and he's calling Woody Allen paranoid. What movie? Annie Hall? Yeah, Annie Hall. But he's in Manhattan and stuff like that. And Annie Hall, unfortunately, he didn't write it. But he unfortunately had this line, Twins Max, 16 years old.

Can you imagine the mathematical possibilities? And so his character, his character was a complete douchey guy, New Yorker who moved to LA. And then like Alan visited him in LA and it was like cartoon like he had, he was getting sun treatments and he had and he had to protect himself from the real sun and he wore a ridiculous outfit with a convertible and uh and was a creep. Have we turned into that on any level having lived out here for 25 years? No except no except you're you're but you would have had the drive to have a Mustang, even

on the East Coast. Yeah. But no, we, no, I'm a slob still. Like I, I don't think we ever became very LA. I mean, I do yoga somewhat. I do, I do, I meditate, but I don't think that's, I think if that, if it were the 80s and I was doing that it would be very California, but I think that that's sort of everywhere now Yeah, I mean I surfed and stuff

But I mean I'd I'd surf in month I probably would have found surfing in Montauk at least tried it for a while But I think we raised very grounded kids all of our kids are very you know They look you in the eye and they're they're not full of shit at all they don't sound like LA people also like Valley Valley people I mean there's some things but it's like it's hard to tell could I have gotten softer in New York also you know what I mean is LA to blame I'm trying to think of like what I'm talking about. But yeah, I meditate also, or in theory I meditate. I think I'd be smarter in another,

in New York for sure I would be smarter. I think there's more discourse and debate in New York. I think people exchange ideas more. I feel like I have people that think different than me, much more so in New York than I do out here. They also talk about issues way more in New York. Yes. And about politics and about just issues.

I should just limit it to issues. Whether it's politics, cultural, movies are debated. It's just much more of a thinking person city. Yes. For sure. All right, let's cheer up after that horrible news about Tony Roberts. I got a couple emails. Once the cartoon winner is announced, please read the caption again. The name alone doesn't tell us what the winning joke is plus it would make it even more special For the contestant, okay, and also a lot of people wrote in they were feeling left out I did not leave a

caption for next week's Comic and I apologize. I don't know. I was a little off last. I can't remember why I was very busy and I Think I was traveling. Oh god. remember why I was very busy and I think I was traveling oh god yeah I was in fucking Wisconsin I shut down a little bit you know maybe we can talk about it off air but this funnies and maybe this day in history or I could come up with another quiz I really liked that you trying to guess what state, and the listeners at home could bet on how many guesses it would take you,

you know what I mean, to themselves. But it's like I gave you one mulligan on that, and it turned out you needed three. Actually you needed endless, seemingly, I had to give you the answer. But I'm wondering if those are really fun things we could put behind a paywall so we don't just hemorrhage money on this.

I like it. Yep, we're hemorrhaging right now, people. We're hemorrhaging. We're doing this for you. All right, the comic strip for next week is, all right, it's a prison yard. There's two prisoners talking to each other in striped uniforms with the striped hats and Guys got a pack of cigarettes out and then behind them with his hands in his pocket and looking a little trepidatious

Is the where's Waldo guy with the red stripes? So the prisoners have another way to describe that guy How Waldo? with the red stripes. So the prisoners have the black stripes. You know, there's another way to describe that guy. How? Waldo. He's Waldo. Yeah. That's it. Waldo is standing there and he's looking at the two other prisoners

in a prison yard. It's that simple. Bruce Wise did the illustration for us. He's a friend of the show. He gives us a lot of artwork Banners and all that. I like this like there's extra detail, you know, like it could have just been two prisoners and You know and they're having a conversation my instinct would be like I am NOT turning around. No, I swear to God

He's right behind you. He's like and But but he's added a pack of cigarettes in there, which complicated in a great way. Yes, it gives you some options. Hagar the Horrible has just slain a dragon. He's leaning on his sword and a young mistress, a young maiden, says, how can I ever repay you? And he goes, you can kick in half for a taxidermist. Or let's read what he would really say. You know, sweetie, I think we both know. Yeah. Yeah. Taxidermists, they're gonna save? Also, what era are we, this is, you really can't think too much,

otherwise it all falls apart. You're saying there's no taxidermy back in the medieval days? Well, that's one thing I'm saying. I'm also saying that, I don't know if there were dinosaurs when the Vikings were around. Oh, I see. That's part of it yeah yeah yeah

okay let's get also I think that's what she would have said a minute earlier when the dinosaur was protecting her against Hager that's what I think this really is. Leroy Lockhorn is sitting in his cubicle at work, he's staring at his computer screen, he looks really done, and he goes, I wish I could remember my dreams and forget my waking hours. Oh, that's kind of a sad one. That is just a statement, right?

Yeah, yeah. Damn. What is he, a supervisor? Is that what you think he is over his shoulder? Yeah, I think so. It looks like a guy who is in a position of authority and he's evaluating Leroy on his performance. So this reminds me of Severance.

How are you doing on Severance? I had the same thought. That's what this reminded me of. Yeah. I'm so into it. We rewatched the whole first season because we really didn't remember a lot of it. I forgot so much. So glad I rewatched it. I would say 60% of it I did not remember. And you need it for season two. So I highly recommend doing it. It's not a lot of episodes. I think they only do eight episodes a season. I'm doing that a lot. I'm doing that a lot. Rewinding and being like, wait, wait, wait, wait. So I very much disrespected season four of The

Wire. And like I watched it piecemeal and then I'd watch it and I'd fall asleep, you know, because I would put it on really late to fall asleep. And anyway, I had to go back. That's the season where they're in the schools, right? In the schools, it's considered by many the best season of television ever. Yeah, you know, God, I know it's virtue signaling also to just say it's the greatest thing ever, but I, to be honest, like, I think part of why it's so revered is how real it is. It truly leaves you hopeless.

It truly is like, oh, it's impossible to run. I'm thinking of this country now. So this massive thing of, and I'm not going to get political, but I'm just saying, so this massive thing of layoffs and support programs were the first things, especially that the new president hit. But even with these support programs in place, like it, it's only a matter of kicking a can down the road. In other words, every form of government, I think ultimately fails, right? I mean, I just think it's so the inertia is towards

chaos. And anyway, you see a city like Baltimore and you're just like, yeah, I mean, Baltimore is just an example, but it's so hopeless. They're just forgotten. There are people who are gonna be left behind and if you leave too many behind, then other civilizations have come down that way. I mean, that's the cycle. Anyway. Yeah, it's a pretty incredible season. Every single one of those, I get to rewatch The Wire.

Every single season is unbelievable, God. Well, no one talks about the next season, but I can't wait to watch it. But boy, you do see some characters you've grown to really care about. And some stay, some go. And anyway, it's good. So Severance, anyway, back to my memory.

Severance, I'm trying to treat it with more respect. So like you, I started watching, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got to go back. you, I started watching and I'm like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, I gotta go back. Like I am not, I forgot about there's, there's some black woman who appears I'm like, Oh yeah, she was in season one and I totally forgot about her. So that's not giving anything away. And so because it's hard to give it away. I didn't have no idea who she was. So anyway, I'm doing the same thing. I'm going back to season one. All right.

Speaking of characters that we care about, Dilbert. Here we go. So it's number 13 again. This is the funniest 15. You can't convince me which order it's going in. Is one the funniest or 15? Regardless, we are counting up. Next week is 14 here it is blind read

I cut and paste it in here having read a single word so Three people there's three frames in the first frame three people Dilbert turns to the guy and goes I heard that you started a comic strip on the side All of a sudden a woman enters behind the three that are sitting there and goes to the person to Dilbert's right You're in my seat fly bait move or I'll pound your head so hard You'll have to remove your pants to read Jesus. Whoa And then in the third frame she goes she sits down then and goes, did I miss anything about teamwork? And then Dilbert turns back to the guy

he first asked about the comic strip and he goes, where do you get your ideas? Huh? It's not horrible, it's not horrible. I don't know how it made in the top 15. How did it make it into print at all? This is nothing. How did he make it into print at all? This is nothing and

over-the-top like abusive and that's Well, yeah, this guy's I Agree, this guy's gonna have a better comic than Dilbert the little good worker there He's gonna ride to that right now because that guy is looking at the absurdity of the writing of this and Even the attempt to like I guess be funny about You're in my seat fly bait fly. Yeah. Yeah So hard you have to read your pants to read Yeah, is reading really on the person's mind after they've been bludgeoned? That's true. If your head is below your pants, you're probably dead.

To breathe? I mean, even just that maybe. Right. Yeah, to read is a bad example of that. Okay. It's terrible. Let's cheer up and get to, oh, Dagwood is in a horny mood. Man, she's looking great. Let me tell you something she's wearing a teal top that's hugging her full bosom she's got on the black velvet skirt bowling pin. You know it's velvet huh? And he is standing behind her he's got on a puke colored shirt and his feet are too big and he's got his arms around

her right near her vagina and she's stirring a big and he's got his arms around her right near her vagina and she's stirring a pan because that's what a woman does and he goes that bacon is almost as beautiful as you honey and then he kisses her and she goes you sure know how to make a woman feel beautiful and then she goes especially since I know how much you actually mean it. Wait, what happened here? Bacon is almost as beautiful as you honey. Should these be thinkers?

I don't understand because in the last frame, he steps away from her and she sort of looks like she's not happy. Yeah. Is she saying that she's upset that he thinks the bacon is as attractive as she is? That's exactly what's trying to be conveyed. But you're right. What made her make the turn? All I know is if you got your cock up against that ass and her hands are busy. You're getting busy too. I don't care if hot bacon grease is splattering all over her beautiful face.

You got that. She's presenting. As they say in nature, she's presenting right there. Take it. Take the shot. And then she turns and she goes, you're in my seat fly bait. meaning her ass. All right, listen, you guys have been delightful. Thanks for sitting in with us. Check out the zeppelin movie if you get a chance. It's really definitely a part one. Yeah. Check out the Super Bowl. Enjoy that and enjoy the Super Bowl people. And then I'm coming to see you in Atlanta, Hollywood, Toronto, FittsDog.com for all tickets. Anything you want to promote Mike? Yes, I started

watching I think it's called Pachinko. I guess it's based on a fantastic book. Let me see if I'm even pronouncing that right. I've only watched episode one and I'm in, yes, Pachinko and it is on Apple TV plus if you have that. I guess you can buy it too. Okay, and then Matt Malloy, our dear friend, is in a new show. What's it called again? No idea. I'm three episodes into it.

Oh, Jesus, what's it called? I'll get over here. Why don't we just oddly google our friend google up matt mulloy and we're gonna see him in uh yeah yeah is there a new one god he's been in a lot um well let me go to news he is in a new one called Paradise. It's called Paradise and he plays the vice president and he's one of our best friends in the world and we're very happy for him. He's doing a ton of work in the last few years. Who Lose Paradise? Yeah check it out it's a really good show it's a sort of work in the last few years. Hulu's Paradise. Yeah, check it out. It's a really good

show. It's a sort of like a dystopian, interesting take on the future. All right, that'll do it. Thanks to Midcoast Media for producing and editing and uploading and doing all the great things to make the show as popular as it is. And we'll catch you guys next week. Go Chiefs! Take it ish! Take it Chiefs! Sunday papers read all about it Sunday papers read all about it Sunday papers read all about it Sunday papers read all about it Sunday papers read all about it Sunday papers, we all about it

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