Sunday Papers - Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike Ep: 253 2/23/25

Episode Date: February 23, 2025

As we prepare for the 3/15 St Paddy’s Day standup show in Hollywood, we talk about KFC moving to TX, Ye’s impossibly stable marriage and Trevor Noah bringing back segregation. Also, which SNL hosts are murderers?Watch Greg’s new special, “You Know Me” and subscribe on YouTube!Email caption submissions to [e-mail] subject line: “Comic Contest”Get the Sunday Papers coozie: Venmo: @gibbonstime $10 In the Venmo notes, put your name and address Get in touch (or send logos/songs): [e-mail] Mike on Venmo here: https://venmo.com/u/GibbonsTimeMake sure to follow Greg and Mike on Instagram: Greg Fitzsimmons: @GregFitzsimmonsMike Gibbons: @GibbonsTime Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM, operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. ["Wake Up It's Sunday"] and we'll see you And then you better yell to kick this off. Read all about it, read all about it. Sunday Papers, coming to you from Los Angeles,

California and Memphis, Tennessee. Close, Nashville. Nashville. Have you been to Memphis? I've been to Memphis. I was in Memphis before Nashville, believe it or not. I heard it's a little rough. Yeah, definitely Beale Street is, you know,

it's one of those, the New Yorker in me puts my wallet in the front pocket, kind of like I do on Canal Street and on a lot of streets, quite honestly. Now I haven't really walked Broadway down here. No one likes doing that anymore in Nashville, but it's definitely more commercial. Like it's not as raw. I'm not commenting on the quality.

I couldn't tell you I could. I'm sure one could argue you were going to find a way more authentic bar for a certain type of music in Memphis than here. And I guess maybe you're right. I don't know. St. Patrick's Day show coming up March 15. You are going to perform correct? Unless I'm at the real St. Patrick's Day in New York. Why would you do that? Is your dad marching? Yeah. Okay. Family's going. All right. But we'll see. My son and daughter were supposed to perform, but now my son dropped out.

Well then I'm gone. My daughter's playing guitar and flute. There's going to be a Pogue song there's gonna be a Van Morrison song I am gonna be playing harmonica on California Dreamin oh good lord what's the matter with that why that song I have no idea Mikey Fitz picked it out Mikey Fitz is our bandleader what what California dreaming I don't know is it like change the word to burning? Like, is there some fun to be had here? Well, you think the flute's gonna be nice. She's a flute player. I think he picked something that'd be a good flute song. I have a maybe I'll do a here's some more material I developed. There's no you know what gaslighting is? Gaslighting is when we are told we're gaslighting a woman and we're completely confused and we say, no, I know I'm not.

And they're like, you are. And I'm like, I am? And so that's gaslighting. That's what gaslighting is. Yeah, his old men are like, wait, wait, what? Right? You're using that fight. I think you call that fighting, fighting fire with fire. Yeah, they're throwing that term around. I mean, the young gals like my daughters really love that phrase.

It's so funny that it did not exist until two years ago and now it is used constantly. Yeah. I thought of a joke on the golf course today on the fifth tee. All right. I lost a lot of money. I invested in this rape whistle, but it sounds like this.

Whistling. And you make no sound. Oh, you couldn't hear that? No. Yeah. Your filter zoom cuts out filters. I think. Oh no. Why? What is it? It's the like wit woo that you do to a girl.

Oh, it's a sexy whistle. Oh, I like that. That's good. There's we have I don't know what's going on with the deportation stuff. Our housekeeper who we're very close to she basically she was a nanny for the kids for you know ten years and then she's been our housekeeper since then has not come to work in six weeks no a lot of Latinos I don't know about the rest of the country but in Los Angeles are keeping a very low profile right now oh man also she had a lot of customers in the Palisades that lost their houses. So I don't know what she's doing but I think we're gonna have to cut her a

little check next time she comes. If you can find her. I know. She might be halfway across the Gulf of America. She is not the best housekeeper. She's a little ham handed little aggressive. It's like it's like she's doing the decathlon when she comes here. It's like how fast can she get the house done and get out of here knocking over lamps banging vacuums into like the legs of the table. You know, I want to get her to mirrors to big mirrors on the wall have come down.

Mine's the opposite. Mine. I'm like, I'm like, All right, I'm gonna find someplace to go right. I do that forever. I come back and it's still like stinking a Clorox and she's going at it. Hardest worker ever. God damn her. Does she use Clorox? Yep. Because ours has switched completely to vinegar. She's vinegar for everything. There's vinegar in the mix here. Also just alcohol. I should say that maybe it's not Clorox because I know how toxic it is. I don't know if pure alcohol is better. But I do see that bottle

she hand writes on it. But I can't wait to see the feedback on this conversation. Oh, the woke libtards can't get their Mexican housekeepers to work. Also against the woke thing. I think all cleaning women are like, oh, yes, yes, thank you. You know, Miss, Miss Meyers great as soon as we leave, they like pour a little Miss Meyers down the sink, then they break out the real chemicals. Miss Meyers, Miss Meyers never cleaned a house professionally. Right, right. So I talked last week about Brad Garrett, I worked at his club at the MGM in Vegas for seven nights.

Way too fucking long, Jesus. And not that I don't like, I love the club, I just don't like Vegas, it's a horrible, horrible place. All right, all right. But then on the final night, Brad took me in the other act, he would MC the show, and then there was a middle act, and then I had to follow him. I was the headliner.

Which was rough because he does like hardcore Don Rickles crowd work. Oh yeah, you mentioned that. Yeah. But then he took us out on the last, first of all, Aaron came out for Valentine's Day. Our check comes and the waitress goes, it's taken care of, Brad took care of it. He found out what restaurant we were going to and took care of the check. No. And then the final night he took me and the other act out and uh we gambled and he just kept we're at the craps table we're at the blackjack table and he just kept throwing down hundreds in front of us to get us chips. Come on. Yeah and then uh and then cut me a bonus on top of my check that was very generous. Oh man, that guy is spreading it around. I love that.

Yeah, he's the best. And we had a real friendship. We're going to keep in touch. You know, he's got a project he might want me to get involved with. It's great. Oh, that's awesome. How did you pick up Aaron at the airport? That's where we left off last time. Aaron took an Uber. So romantic. I was very romantic. I, I not only romantic, she's had the flu for the last five days and I have not left the house. I've been by her side. I played golf today by her side,

cooking three meals a day cleaning because we have no housekeeper I mean our housekeeper only comes every other week but it's it's I kind of like it I kind of like not having someone in the house oh yeah of course I bet Aaron's thinking the same thing right now about you right more Right. More golf. What's going on with you? I watched. I got very involved like so many people. I haven't watched a single hockey game in like a year or two. But that USA Canada. Oh, my God. Oh, the three fights in nine seconds. So crazy. And then it was in Boston.

And I was watching with a guy down here in Nashville who knows a lot about hockey. And he's like, you know, it then it was in Boston. And I was watching with a guy down here in Nashville who knows a lot about hockey. And he's like, you know, it's, it's very mixed. First of all, Boston has a lot of, you know, Canadian people and sympathizers and all of that. The captain of the Bruins, I guess, you know, is from Canada. And so, uh, and played on team Canada. And so, and there was obviously 15 more examples of that and teammates playing against each other and the whole thing. So, but what a game went to overtime. I wonder if anybody from the same team fought each other. I don't think that's interesting. But, uh, overtime, I don't know if you saw the game, we dominated

with such good shots on goal, like where three times you thought the game was over and they had like one or two of those, but not not the volume. And then they don't man, they then they left Connor McDavid wide open in the crease. Unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. So watch that. And then I had a story about I guess I could tell a quick story about fixing a cat. So no, I'll tell another time. I know I keep pushing it down the road. I just need the energy to do it. And my adderall hasn't kicked in yet.

Well, it was funny. Ports I followed. we were all following my cousin last weekend, who Danny McCarthy, who was in first place in the, what's the name of the tournament? It's usually at Riviera. Genesis. The Genesis tournament and I was in first place on Friday, first place on Saturday, ended up finishing like fourth, won like $800,000 but I put some money on them in Vegas and then we all put money on them to win the Masters and then I put some more money on them to win the US Open because the odds right now are 200 to one.

So $100 dollar bet you win $20,000. So I put down a few of those. Yeah 200 to 1. Yeah I'm gonna bet of course and I can just use the app right where I'm sitting in Nashville. I don't know how I guess I can collect. Oh that's interesting. I wonder if the app lets me collect the bet if I'm Yeah, it's my money. Yeah, because I placed the bet in Vegas, they downloaded the MGM app onto my phone. I made the bet in Vegas, they get here's the deal. They give you 250. If you bet 250, they give you a credit. So if you lose, you get $250 credit on the app to make another bet.

So, so I bet 250 on him to win last weekend, I lost that. And then I put the other 250 on the Masters in the US Open, then I got 14 more phones. And yeah, but if more times, but if we win, there's four of us that went in on it. And if he wins, it'll be 90 grand and we'll all have to go to Vegas to collect the money. And there's a Topgolf at the MGM. It's like four stories, like the hottest servers you've ever seen in your life. And then they've got this VIP club

where you have like a clubhouse with three different stalls to hit balls. And then you've got your own little pool, your pool outside. Wow. And table service. So if we win, we're gonna hit that, we're gonna hit. Dude, did I tell you I saw Cirque du Soleil?

No, but you told me you had plans. Oh my God, it's called CA, K-A. There is no entertainment experience you can imagine that's better than Cirque du Soleil. I mean, the theater is enormous, enormous, and they're coming at you from 360 degrees. They're running down the aisles. They're shooting flaming arrows into a pit that explodes.

There's a big wall that's probably like, you know, a hundred feet wide, a square, and it tilts, and everybody's sliding down it, and then they shoot the arrows into the side of it, and they act like pegs, and they start catching themselves on the arrow. It's fucking nuts! Then there's like 17 people swinging on

ropes and they join together and they form like a pterodactyl flying through the air with two of the people as talons hanging from the bottom and it swoops down and picks up other people off the stage. I mean. French. And they've got a full orchestra that just fills the place with this incredible music. I mean, you can't beat it. And then 10 super sad rollerbladers from Cirque du Soleil Beatles love that are out of work, just sitting in the front row

as standby, you know, stand ins for them. Yeah. No, I read online that the average Cirque du Soleil performer earns $40,000 a year, and they are three have died. You have to be one of the most competitive acrobats in the world. One of the motorcycle guys was one of the guys

that died, I think. Yeah, but I mean. Those guys in cages. That's 30 years of Cirque du Soleil and they've only lost three people, that's not bad. I'm surprised it's that low. Yeah. So where is Ka?

What casino? It's at the MGM. Oh man. Well, what is the theme? What does Ka mean? It's kind of, it's a martial arts theme, so there's a lot of, you know, fighting and yeah, it seems kind of Asian, I guess. Okay. Yeah. Got it. You know what I've never

seen is Oh, and I heard that's one of the bad ones. One of the originals. I want to see Oh, really bad. Where was Oh, it's right in the middle of the strip there. It's not Caesar's. Oh, is it Bellagio? They they all blend together to me I really can't tell the difference between any of the casinos you know what casino I liked now that you're out of there but anyway it's in the MGM family the park MGM which used to be the Monte Carlo I think right across the street from the MGM. I really like that casino. It's all new. They have an Italy in the lobby which makes it so easy to get grab something to eat real fast without a line. Yeah. Anyway, like that a lot.

Lawrence Tarpey did a really funny logo for us this week with the Gulf of Sunday papers in the middle of a map of North America. I'm not gonna remember the name but on the YouTube channel where my peeps and I correspond one of our listeners goes we should give it up for the restraint that the president didn't name it the Gulf of Trump. Right. Which is a very solid point. Yep. Yep. I wonder why he didn't well He called himself. He said all hail the king on his Twitter account the other day. Oh Yeah, well, I think now they're just gaslighting us Blake Bixle did the song this week. What did you think of the song? I like the song. It's kind of like

That 90s white kind of reggae influenced like Sugar, what was the name of the band? Sugar Ray or no doubt. Yeah, right, right. Really cool. A couple of corrections. And Gubbins gets name dropped. Yes.

A couple of corrections. Mark Promoff said, love Tom Robbins. We talked about he passed away last week. We did his obit. What a tremendous loss, not to be petty, but it's even cowgirls get the blues. Not only cowgirls get the blues. Now, what came first, the song from Loretta Lynn

or the book? The song. I'm going to confidently say without knowing for a fact okay in a bit of crossover of amazing artists you should read his quote after the passing of Jerry Garcia I doubt anyone will do justice in capturing Robbins with such eloquence you yeah so that to me I Yeah, this is a quote from Tom Robbins when Jerry Garcia died. This is what he wrote about him. He said, I thought of Jerry, his life and his music as a sort of a river flowing through

the American heart, sometimes muddy, sometimes clear, occasionally swift and dangerous, more often placid and deep, but always flowing forward irrepressibly towards some unnamed something. How very many of us were pulled along by his current." Is that nice? He really stuck with that metaphor. Yeah. Nice. I like it. We got some tour dates coming up. Atlanta, the punchline March 6th through the 8th. Hollywood, the St. Patrick's Day show. We already mentioned March 15th. We're going to have big names. Hamilton, Ontario, Toronto, Canada, Pittsburgh, Boston, Huntington, Escondido, Tampa, Austin,

La Jolla. Go to FitzDog.com, get some tickets, come out and see some live comedy. Is it time? Is it time to crinkle something? Well, first, one of the comments you skipped that I didn't say take it each I'm so sorry I'll say I'll say twice at the end of this show a lot of people chimed in with we forgot to make things whole again I will say it twice I got a piece of paper front page Okay. KFC, the fast food chain formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken, is leaving the state

where it all began. Don't dead name it. The chain's parent company announced Tuesday the corporate headquarters is leaving for Texas and in the Dallas suburb of Plano. It's a notable change for the 95-year-old company that got its start at a motel in a small Kentucky town, thrusting the state's name into one of the most iconic chains

that now has 30,000 restaurants across 150 countries. Holy shit. What a loss for the health of the state. Well, they've still got coal mines and opioids. Yeah, and what a run though. I mean, everything else that's conceived in a motel in a small Kentucky town normally doesn't make it past the first trimester. Yeah, right. Yeah, if that were true, the restaurant would have only lasted about 10 weeks. Yeah, I think with all the drug abuse and all that stuff.

So it's going to Texas. The Colonel's now a ranger, man. How about that news? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to Texas, and in exchange, Texas is gonna give Kentucky air pollution and the measles.

Well, it joined a pizza hut offices because it's the same yum brands owns both. And they're both now going to hunker down in Plano and Plano is now changing their name to Plano heart disease. Just plain old heart disease. They really should weigh the town and then weigh them again in one year. Yeah. Did you know this? That it's big news here. In and Out Burger is moving one of their headquarters one of their headquarters to Nashville. Oh, nice. I don't even, I think the furthest east right now

is California, I believe, and they are coming here, and I think maybe they're closing down. They have maybe more than one headquarters. I don't have the story in front of me, but all I do know is In-N-Out is opening up all over Nashville area, at least in maybe Tennessee. I wish I wanted to buy stock in in and out about seven years ago. I said this place is the best burger place I've ever eaten at. It's going to go national. I wonder if it's too late.

You think it's public? I think I might have looked into it and found out it was not public. All right. Well, they're religious. We know that. No, you're thinking of Chick-fil-A. They are too. No, I think In-N-Out has prayers on their like written or they used to on their cups or something. Hmm. We can see. Yeah, you're right though about Chick-fil-A. All right. While you read this next story, I'm going to read the religious ties that In-N-Out has. Go ahead. An abusive Nebraska woman who beat her boyfriend to death tried to hide his wounds with makeup.

Michelle Lee Mar, 49, was found guilty of second degree murder and tampering with evidence for the brutal murder of her boyfriend in March 2022. She had called 911 at the time, claiming to have woken up and found Gilpin unconscious in bed at their home on an Indian reservation. Gilpin, a dad, was rushed by Medevac to 12 Clans United Hospital where nurses noticed he had, quote, significant amounts of makeup on his face and body. Once the makeup was washed away it revealed numerous injuries

including a golf ball sized or bigger knot or bruise on the left side of his head. I get those when I play with gubbins as well as bruises on the right side of his head. I just get pain on the inside of my head. Yeah, she really should have blamed, yeah blame a golfer. Say there's an Indian on the reservation, his name is Him Slice-a-Lot. When they take off the makeup. This is a man, man! No, I think she's going to get a longer sentence

because she killed a trans woman. That's a hate crime. I was thinking along the same lines. I was like, I think she put the makeup on first to make it easier to beat up a woman. Yeah. And I'm also guessing Michelle's not so hot on putting on makeup like oh, what's this golf ball size contusion a little base in contouring should hide that right up now really you forget you gotta match the skin color you just use Rouge maybe that yeah the crime will be how she made him look yeah let's let's go to entertainment let's cheer up with some entertainment entertainment yeah but first a word from our research department in and out burger has christian roots and prince bible verses on its packaging

the tradition began in the 80s with rich Snyder, the nephew of In-N-Out's founders. They were Catholic and Methodist traditions that they were raised in. And then in the 80s, they began putting Bible verses. Geez. Wow. John 316, Proverbs 3 5 and Revelation 3 20. You know what? Why don't you guys focus on making a French fry that's still good five minutes after you serve? Yeah, what's up with their french fries? They make them fresh

in the restaurant. They're too fresh. There was some fucking chemicals in there like the other places. Do you know McDonald's has 113? They have 113 chemicals in their french fries. Who McDonald's? Yep. Yeah, it's like it's like KFC. It's a secret recipe, man. Yeah. Don't look down the curtain. Despite rumblings from the rumor mill, Yi and Bianca Sensori are still going strong. Yeah, they are representative for the controversial couple recently shut down speculation that they're divorcing. Quote, Yi and Bianca are in LA about to enjoy Valentine's Day together. Is this the fifth or the sixth time the press has wrongly reported that Yi and Bianca are separating?

I've lost track. I don't know. Is it the fifth or is it the sixth? Get the number right. You know, like Yi knows the exact number of Jews that died in the Holocaust it's a rough number but he's got it yeah uh is someone angry that we're speculating if this couple is healthy right now like it's a healthy relationship it's insanity well like Bianca's wardrobe, the relationship is fully transparent.

So I googled this story and I wanted to see if there was an update like they're divorced, like even since you put this in the document. And what I found was that his assistant, Lauren Piscata, sued Kanye for allegedly sexually harassing her. And the rapper has now spoken out on X. Today he did that. Today's Friday. Denying all the allegations against him. He's taking X and he goes, you know all caps on X. You know why I never F'd Lauren Pisciotta? Because she smelt awkward. smelt awkward. She sees his senses are all fucked up.

He she she smelled awkward and she acted like an onion. And then he goes one piece of advice. Freeze your eggs. This is a this is a wordsmith that that's doing all this. Yeah. So get this, she was working at Only, as an OnlyFans model before being recruited by Kanye West to work as chief of staff at multiple of his companies in June of 2021.

And I put a picture of her in this document. Jesus, you did. Wowzer. You did. I mean, one thing you can say about he, he has a type, you know, the type that takes his money and then sues him for more money. But she is physically as you talked about before the show, she is Kim Kardashian and she is She is Kim Kardashian and she is Bianca. They have this tan olive skin, huge, huge breasts, skinny waist, giant butt, black hair, thick eyebrows. She's more so, she was his assistant

when he was with Kardashian and she's much more like Kardashian with a butt that's like sort of absurdly big, like not like what's his wife now, Bianca, not like Bianca. No, Bianca is actually very other than the breast. She's very well proportioned. And I've worked with Kim Carter, like, you know, she's been a guest on talk shows and all that stuff.

And in person, it doesn't look crazy depending on what she's been a guest on talk shows and all that stuff. And in person, it doesn't look crazy, depending on what she's wearing. But occasionally with the photos she puts out, you're like, what is going on there? Like, that's pretty exaggerated. So this this woman has that also. comedian Trevor Noah, in the latest episode of his podcast discussed whether or not integration was better for America as a whole. When it came to black people. Sounds like we're still talking about Kanye. While some black folks may feel like integration was ultimately beneficial. Noah argued that segregation may have actually been the best. If we separate the oppressive and negative ways,

it affected things like the school system and other entities. He believes that we would be better off tending to our own gardens, businesses, and society in general and separate from white folks. He cited the country of Finland as further proof of a country that's better off when its people are all unified and on one accord as to what goals they want to accomplish and the backlash that black people faced in the aftermath in the US once integration took place. It sounds like he doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Were these jokes? Because I find with Trevor Noah, I can't

tell when he's told a joke, dude, like that's when people like, why is there a laugh track? You know what, I need one. I do not get Trevor Noah at all. And I saw I saw an interview with him where he was talking about how Louis CK couldn't stand him. And he said that he something about him seeming. What was it? What was it? I can't remember but Louis CK kind of summed the guy up and then and then Trevor told his white assistant to go get him another cup of coffee. Only black. Keep the creamer in the other room. Yeah I don't know about...from what I hear he's a nice guy. I'll put that out there. Yeah, Neil Brennan is good friends with them.

Well, they're very important people. My kids love his book. Every teenager loves his book. It's supposed to be amazing. All right. Yeah. So that's cool. You want to do this next one? Diddy up. Sean Diddy combs legal team has claimed that the US law is racist and the reason he is being singled out in what they call a clear case of selective prosecution. combs faces a max sorry combs faces a minimum of 15 years in prison after being charged with sex trafficking, racketeering and fraud and In documents obtained by the Post, the Music Mogul's lawyers

filed a motion Tuesday to dismiss his transportation to engage in prostitution charge, arguing that quote, no white person has ever been the target of a remotely similar prosecution. I think Jeffrey Epstein may disagree. I mean, yeah, wasn't what's his name from Florida? Gets wasn't gets targeted for that gates. Yeah, he was exactly that. But they dropped it.

Trump dropped charges against him. Well, I heard Diddy just hired Kanye's former assistant as his head council so she is gonna kill it man you see a photo right and it's literally head council they counsel you about the head I did see a headline today that I did not comment but anyway that I think Diddy's head council resigned. Said bye bye. Yeah, I saw that headline too. And he's also being charged or accused, Diddy is,

of trying to relitigate the case through delays. I can't believe I just remembered that sub headline, but I think that was it. So the thing is heating up for sure. All right. Moving on to more entertainment news, Netflix to invest one billion. That's with a bay in Mexico over four years to produce movies and shows in Mexico. Netflix has committed the one billion for the production of series and films over the

next four years. And this was in a press conference between Ted Sarandos, the CEO and Mexico's president, Claudia Scheinbaum. What a Latina name. This investment and the productions derived there from will benefit Mexican production companies and will contribute to the local industry and the creation of opportunities nationwide. Netflix said. Interesting. I read a little of the fine print. Part of the deal is now the Gulf of Mexico is going to be called the Gulf of Netflix. It's not even going to be called Gulf of America anymore. Gulf of Netflix. And

I can't wait for season one of Brown Lotus. And Brown is the new Black. One problem. White Lotus is on Apple or Max? I always confused it, too. I think it's Max. It's Max. Mike, let the fans do the correction.

You just stick to your research. Well, I can't wait to follow up the Tom Brady roast with the roast of El Chapo. That's what I'm looking for. Oh, dude. Can you imagine what a fucking great idea the road you guys should do that in absentia, you should roast El Chapo. All the jokes are anonymous no one wants credit. That was amazing was that one yours? No no no no who said that? No no no. The roasters are all wearing bags over their heads and so

we're gonna we're gonna deport Love is Blind to Mexico. Will they even notice? Yeah welcome to LA, everybody. We, of course, we have the best Mexican food in the world here in Los Angeles. And don't take your blindfolds off, just enjoy. Wait, oh, it was blind? I thought it was actual blind people. I've never seen it.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh. By the way, that should be what it is now. Just autistic, not blind. Well, they had the autistic one. I just assumed that was the spinoff was blind people. That would be good. You know, it's tough about being blind is usually they've got like.

Chin hair or like the teeth are kind of dirty because they're just not looking in the mirror the way we do. Like the shave job is bad. There's always like a little patch they missed. Let's face it, like the way we used to. We're missing a lot lately. There are like hairs that I'm like, oh, that hair is so long that this is at least two weeks that I've not seen this facial hair. I'm so self consciousconscious about ever being seen

like in the comedy clubs with you know that little patch under your to the side of your neck that's still there because you're so old you can't groom yourself anymore and then I get ear hairs and sometimes like a nose hair coming out of the tip. Jesus. Oh boy, this is fun. Yeah. All right, a little quiz for you. So John Mullane, did you see the SNL 50th anniversary? No. Oh, there was some big laughs. I saw a little bit of it. I saw a little bit of it. I didn't see a lot. I got a little goosebumps and emotional during Sandler's song, believe it or not. I saw that, I saw the song. He got a standing ovation, he killed. Yeah, because you know, he's, as you know,

better than I've never really met him. I mean, I've only, as a guest on a talk show, so that doesn't count at all. He is an incredibly sweet guy. Very nice, I've hung out with him a couple of times. Amazingly generous, nice guy, yeah. And the song turned, you know, it picked up a head of steam as it was pulling towards the close of the song and it got very sentimental and I thought very, very good. Anyway, Mulaney came out and joined Steve Martin. Steve Martin opened with a monologue and these guys are just real joke smiths, you

know, so it was very lean, I thought in good and um, Mulaney came out and goes over the course of SNL, there have been 894 people and it amazes me that have hosted and it amazes me that only two have committed murder. Damn. It got a, it got a laugh. It got a pretty big laugh and definitely got a laugh in my house. So then there was, and it seemed easy, like I immediately named the two that most people think he was referring to.

But who do you think he was referring to? to well I guess you could say Alec Baldwin he's like the most frequent host on the show Alec Baldwin was 15 feet away no oh yeah and I do not think it was and did a bit and I do not think it was him. Who else killed somebody? I don't know who else? Oh, was what's his name? The guy who shot his wife outside a restaurant? Robert Blake. Robert Blake. Did he host it? They believe Robert Blake is one. Okay. You've gotten one. I feel like I'm forgetting somebody really obvious. You are.

Is he black? He was covered in the weekend update quite a bit. Oh, OJ. Yeah. Oh, shit, okay. Okay, So what happened was everyone is like, oh, wow. OK. OJ Simpson. And then it checks out Robert Blake also hosted. But then people, it's amazing you brought up Alec Baldwin because then there's speculation about five other names. No shit. Yeah, like everybody kind of went to town all the amateur sleuths who are, you know, flooded with murder docs. So Alec Baldwin

was floated. floated is a good word. What other names can you think of that were floated? Hosts who that people are speculating have murdered someone. Hosts that have murdered somebody. Do you want me to give you a bill Cosby? Did Bill Cosby host? No, and I don't think anyone... No, I don't think he killed anybody. They died for an hour or two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he destroyed... yeah, then they were dead inside, I think, after forever. But, all right, I'm gonna give you you a hint. OK, one was in Ireland. Oh, Matthew Broderick. Yes. Yeah, Matthew Broderick pled guilty,

but the charge was careless driving. Yeah, the other person died. OK, one was in I don't know if it was in, but it was around Long Beach. Oh, Mel Gibson no didn't Mel Gibson hit somebody and they died on the PCH no but oh yeah wonder if Bruce Jenner Bruce Jenner that's what I meant Bruce Jenner it's not but boy is that another one Bruce Jenner I'm sure Bruce Jenner I've been why are we saying Bruce Caitlyn Jenner? I'm sure Bruce Jenner. Why are we saying Bruce? Caitlyn Jenner, I believe.

No, but we're talking about who hosted and I'm going to stick to my guns on that. All right. I'm going to research why you list another one. I'm going to research whether Caitlyn Jenner ever hosted. Okay, it's it's Snoop Dogg. He was acquitted of second degree murder, though. No shits. Oh, he was acquitted of second degree murder, though. Oh, shit. Now, the other one is they're related. It's the same murder. And there are two names.

And this is the biggest. This is the biggest reach of all of them. But there are two names and it's the same murder. And they've both hosted SNL. The Menendez brothers. It's the same death. It's the same death, I should say. The Menendez brothers. No, the Menendez brothers did not host SNL.

Two brothers. I'll give you a hint, a subtle hint at first. It's not far from Long Beach, where our last death happened. San Diego? Colder? Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys? Colder? Who?

No, I'm talking geographically close to Long Beach. Manhattan Beach, Redondo, Hermosa. All the same. They're the same distance. Okay. All right. Who is it? Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken. They're brothers? No, you went to brothers in your head. The same death, which is Natalie Wood, which was out at Catalina. Oh, shit. Yeah, but that wasn't murder. She drowned.

Don't tell Tom O'Neill that. Oh, right. Now, what was the motivation to kill Natalie Wood? She was just, she just just one shut up, man. And she was on a boat. You got to fall in line with the seaman. You know what I mean? Right. No, no. I think Tom O'Neill has landed on from everything he's read

and he's exhausted it. I think I hate to put words in his mouth, or a book in his mouth. But I think Tom landed on that like, it was a very bad fight. Tom likes to think that she walked in on the two of them getting it on. Christopher walk in and Yeah, but this is Tom. Keep in mind, right. And by the way, Tom, very responsible writer,

but when you're in conversation with him, maybe the most reckless irresponsible person you've ever spoken to. And I think that's how he uncorks it. You know what I mean? He has to keep it buttoned down like a journalist all day in front of the computer. By the way, the trailer just came out

for Tom's documentary from Meryl Morris on Netflix. The trailer dropped today, and I think it premieres March 7th. And Errol Morris is the director. He's won multiple Oscars. He's considered the best documentary maker in the country. And maybe two Oscars, but one for sure for Thin Blue Line. Yeah. And maybe more. Um, so anyway, Tom's theory

that he landed on was maybe that happened. Who knows, but that it was really a bad, bad fight. I think they both were known to be big drinkers and they had, they were famous for very volatile fights. And I think maybe Tom landed on she's like F this, F you, I'm out of here, all this. And then she slipped, hit her head and fell overboard. Oh, interesting. And that no effort was made to get her. Errol Morris has won one Oscar. It was not for Thin Blue Line. It was for the Fog of War in 2004.

He didn't win till Fog of War? Yep. McNamara. Wow. Yeah. And it wasn't called Pet Sematary it was called like Heaven's Gate or something like that. I think I'm not confusing and I think that's Earl Morris. And he's only been nominated once. Wow, wow. I mean, thin blue line for anybody not familiar. Thin blue line was kind of the granddaddy of the true crime docs that actually meant something. It contributed to overturning a case in Texas. Right. And it was done in such, for the time, a unique way with reenactments, which I think there was a lot of pushback on from the true documentary, you know, Purist. Did you ever see the East Memphis Five, I think it was called?

Or the East Memphis Six? It's actually, East Memphis is in Texas, but. Oh no. Yeah. I saw the one, the famous one that HBO did about that group of Satan worshipers. I think it was around Memphis though. Maybe that was it, the East Memphis Five.

Had a sexier name than that. Somebody correct me. East Memphis Five are an amazingly tight rhythm and blues section. Yeah, I don't know what you're saying. Okay, murders. All right, somebody write in and tell us what was it? Oh, West Memphis Three. It's called, oh my God, I'm an old man.

I'm a fucking crazy old man who can't remember anything. You just talked about hair coming out of your nose. It's in Arkansas. I was talking about Paradise Lost. It's in West, it was about three freed men convicted as teenagers of the murders of three boys in West Memphis, Arkansas. They were sentenced to death. And they they got out because of this documentary, I believe.

I know that Natalie mains got very into it. She got very into trying to overturn it. Hold on now. Paradise Lost. Three little boys brutally murdered and three teens charged this true crime opus delves inside the notorious West Memphis three murder case. Oh, do you know how frustrating this must be for our listeners who know all this? But anyway, when I was at HBO, I almost see what year that came out. Anyway, that it's a it's kind of

a that is also a legendary documentary. I'm trying to see if they got overturned or not. I think it did. Aftermath. Yeah. Yeah yeah they got out all right let's get back to this thing we called podcast Sunday papers let's make America Florida let's do it here we go Oh Florida Florida man a Florida man has been arrested and charged for shooting 17 times at two men. So so far, I'm not even blinking. I might even skip this story. Seventeen times at two men who he mistakenly thought were Palestinian. Turns out the victims were actually tourists from Israel.

Whoopsie. While in custody, the guy allegedly said he saw two Palestinians while driving his truck and he shot and killed both, which is not something you should say. I mean, I'm not on this guy's side, but you especially shouldn't say it since nobody died. One victim sustained a gunshot wound to the left shoulder, while the second victim sustained a graze wound to the left forearm. He then took 75 Palestinian hostages, but they turned out to be Israeli too. Wrong bus pal. Seventeen shots and he only grazed the guy? I'm doubting his conviction to hating Palestinians here. He loves giving warnings.

He's confused. He had just fucked a bearded dude he thought was a woman. That's what it is. Her ass, her pussy smells funny. We're gonna make Alabama, Florida, here we go. Do it. An investigation is underway after a man was found dead under his car in East Alabama. The 51 year old man whose name has not been released had

multiple injuries from his hogs, but authorities don't yet know the cause of his death. Calhoun County coroner said it's unclear at this point if the man suffered a medical event and then was attacked by the hogs or if the hogs caused his death. When the first responders were dispatched at around three thirty in the PM, the property off of this highway, blah, blah, blah. They found the man dead under his car, which was surrounded by the hogs. And let me just say, this is the closest Alabama gets to urban crime, where a bunch of pigs chase a guy under a parked car and he winds

up dead. That is so funny because yes, literally yesterday, I was thinking about how nobody calls cops pigs anymore. I think I was thinking about it because maybe I watched the Manson trailer and they write pigs on the wall. That's right, you're right. Nobody says pigs anymore. Yep, bro, I'm bringing it back. And the cops had to put the hogs down, of course, and then they served them

at the Alabama State Fair that weekend. I imagine they deep-fried that stuff. Are you kidding me? Why is there a foot in my bacon? Then there was a hole I spared you, but a whole thing on like two of the hogs were taken to a vet. One had to be locked up on the premise while they fixed the gate. But you know there's a story, maybe we do this next week. Is it Canada? There's like killer pigs that are a problem I don't want to say on the loose but I think they're on the loose so wild boars are extremely dangerous

oh have you ever seen like I mean some of that great nature footage like nobody messes with a boar like oh no you're thinking of uh Vancouver Island as them. Because I saw a remember that TV show alone as it was a game show. Oh, my God. I loved alone during the pandemic. And there was there was a wild boar that was very dangerous. I guess there was a lot of them on the islands. Oh, no, I remember the guy in his tent. They and they use that to go to commercial but it was like, it was like he thought yeah, he like grabbed his knife or get gone I think you were allowed to bring a gun also. Hmm All right. Are we doing international? No, let's skip it down. Yeah, let's get rid of it. We've had it in the script for a while international here comes

This is your story pal an Australian company sent a parade of workers marching through the ship dressed in pointy white hoods reminiscent of Ku Klux Klan garb gobsmacking passengers who called it wildly offensive. Footage of the bizarre stunt shows eight P&O cruisers clean cruises cleaners tromping by a pool on the ship's deck while dressed in the face covering hoods along with all-white outfits in December. The cruise company says the housekeeping crew had no idea what they looked like when they chose to dress up as quote, upside down snow cones.

Well that's playful. And I guess the Nazi salutes they were just pointing at seagulls. Yeah, yeah, you missed it up top. It's an Australian cruise company. This was how they did their cleaning. It's weird. But regardless, it looks like the Nazis are definitely pivoting from trains to boats. Right, right. That was my take. Yes. And that I'm guessing thing upside down snow cones that's all they are the white hoods with with the holes fries oh my god you gotta see the picture we should post a picture well maybe we will let's get to science I can do this. Watch this. You want me to get? No, nevermind. Hold on now. Science. Science.

Is there a surefire way to get any person to flirt with you. This TikToker thinks so and her method for it is going viral. The tactic is called sticky eyes and Chelsea Anderson breaks it down in a video with seven million views. The first step she explains is to make eye contact with the person you're interested in. As soon as you make that eye contact you look away like you've been caught. This, she says, will make the person intrigued and honestly a little confused. Then you go in for the kill. The next time you look at them and they meet your eyes again don't look away. Let them break first. Once they look away you never look at them again and in about 45 seconds they will be right in front of you

as if they've been summoned physically by you psychically. And if this doesn't work, mail them a small part of your finger to her dorm room. All right. Couple of things. Well, one, I tried this. It does not work if they close the blinds. No one appears. Yeah. Police do. That's so it is very surprising. And it's almost like they're drawn to you psychically summoned. And then you will you also get a summons. Right. Is this? What do you if it's called eye contact all a girl has to do in a bar is make eye contact. That's it. Oh, is she telling us to a woman or

a guy? Huh? I think it could be she's saying I think it would work for a woman or a guy. Not if the girl's not interested. I'm going to try it on my wife. Here's the here's the here's the advice for the guy that you do is sticky eyes. You look at her. She looks at you. You look away. Then when she looks to see again, because she's a little confused, you're not there.

And then she turns around and you're three inches from her face. That's the move. And you're like, we're leaving. Yeah, yeah. Here, I got you a drink. Right. This is so dumb. If a girl looks at you in a bar and like smiles and then looks away, she doesn't have to think again. Yeah. The guy's gonna come over. Yeah, I used to think when I was in high school that if a girl looked at me that she had a crush on me, and then I would talk to her and realize very quickly she did not. But I really jumped to that conclusion very quickly.

I don't know why. Well it's because whenever you came into a place you were so drunk you fell down. And that doesn't count as eye contact. They're looking at a spectacle, not you. That's foot contact when you fall on her feet. Yeah. All right, we're gonna do this day in history. This day in history. Let's see how I do. I've been on fire lately. I don't know if that's accurate. Let's see. All right, you ready? Yeah, the Alamo my man. The Alamo was besieged by Santa Ana's Mexican

army. On this day, in what year during the Texas War for Independence, Mexican General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana began a siege of the Alamo, which was captured after 13 days, and which became for Texans a symbol of heroic resistance, a complete bullshit story. But let's go on anyway. This happened in what year give or take 40 years? 40. I'm gonna give you 40 because I feel sorry for you. I feel like this was happening prior to the Civil War, which I think started around 1840. So I'm going to say 1834. Boy, I really overshot it with the 40 years. It was 1836. No, not kidding. Nice. That's incredible. I'm on fire. I'm telling you, I've been on fire lately. Okay, here's a weird one. The first Rotary Club was founded by Chicago attorney,

Paul Harris. Do you, should I look up what a rotor? All right, I'm going to give you give or take All right, I'm going to give you give or take 30 years. And I'm going to look up what a rotary club is. A rotary club is like a civic organization. It's a civilian service club. Yeah. I don't know. That feels like a 19 20s. I'm going to say 1923. You bastard. What did I give you 30 years? I think so 1905.

Nice. Oh my god. Okay, composer. Handel Handel, George Friedrich Handel Handel. I think it's Friedrich Handel, Handel. I think it's Handel. I think it's Handel. Handel. I know it's Handel. He's a leading figure of the late, this is gonna give it away,

of the late Baroque music period. Oh yeah, that really sheds a lot of light on it for me. He was born in Germany, give or take 50 years. When was Handel born? Handel was born in, let's's see the Baroque period. Yeah, yeah, I gave it away. 1785. Nope, sir. 1685. How many years did you give me? I gave you 50, I think I needed 100. You doubled it. You doubled it. Okay, let's go on to some other things. US President Andrew Johnson was impeached on this day in what year? Boy, the House of Representatives voted

126 to 47 to impeach him. I can't give away any more details. Well, this is easy because I know that he replaced Lincoln after he was shot. And Lincoln was shot in 18. How many years you give me? One. No, I should have told you. 1862. Oh, dude, come on. When do you think Lincoln was shot? Give or take two years. When do you think Lincoln was shot? Well, the Civil War is 1840 1818 50. What? 1850? I know. I mean, the Civil War, right was 1865. Oh, I thought it was 1840. No. All right. So then he was shot in 1870. Lincoln was shot April 14th, 1865. That's what I said in the first place. What do you mean? I didn't, what was my first guest 1865?

Uh, where am I on this day? What happened? Johnson Johnson. I don't know what you guys, but it's 1868. I think I said that. I think I said very close to that one year you lose. He was a brutal racist. He was like a really evil dude. All right, well let's do one more. Okay. All right. Well, let's do one more. Okay. We already did. You're not going to get Winslow Homer. Let's see. Sorry, I didn't plan on one more. I was already. Oh, yeah. Oh, I like this American boxer, my hero, Muhammad Ali, known at the time as Cassius Clay became the world heavyweight champion by knocking out Sonny Liston in seven rounds, give or take three years.

What year was this? It was the early sixties for sure. I'm going to say 64. It is 1964. No, it's not. See, I'm on fire. All right. We're going to go out on that one. That feels good. All right. Good. All right.

Are we moving on? Oh, yeah. So here's the good news. We both don't know of a high profile person who died. There has been a dearth of death lately. Nobody is dying we care about and not even in my personal life. I feel like my life has lacked funerals and weddings for a while. I haven't been to a good funeral since my wife's aunt died two years ago and she was 93. Yeah.

It's coming. Well, you just set it up now, didn't you? Comes in threes, right? Um, so we can just stay cheered up and do the funnies. Yeah, let's do it. Stay on top. Okay. As you know, the comic caption contest goes on week after week. You guys are presented with a one frame comic with no caption. You write the joke. You send it into FittsDogRadio at gmail.com. We read what we think are the best ones on the air. We then choose a winner who gets a koozie in

the mail four to six weeks in the continental United States. If you're from Canada, please do not play this game. Now you can play. Well, we'll still announce you as the winner, but then we'll pick a second place person who gets the koozie. But we're not sending shit to Canada. I like that. Yeah. So oddly, the honorable mention is first place in some cases. Also, please do me a favor when you send in your joke, write your name directly beneath it so I can put it in the doc. Okay. Jason Love was nice enough to do the caption for last week. It is a ringleader. Is that what they call the circus guy in the middle of the tent?

The ringleader guy and he's got little tassels on his shoulder and a thin mustache and he's pointing up to a tightrope walker who has that balancing bar in his hand and it says circus of the stars on the inside of the tent and he's got a microphone in his hand and brian rochelle said now introducing the guy that's been banging my wife. Everybody make some noise. Oh, I mean, okay. Am I missing something? Renee Sackman said, Hile Elon. Because he's got he's got his arms out and sort of looks like a Nazi salute. Oh, interesting. And the guy made a note. So, so no, yeah, submitting this on behalf of my wife, Renee,

if chosen as winner, this might be the first husband and wife, koozie winner, condo combo in Sunday papers history. I won last year. Well, don't worry. It won't. And he'll always be able to just, just enjoy that koozie right in front of her jealous eyes. Right. Envious eyes. Todd Pitlick said David Hasselhoff surprises the crowd by passing a difficult field sobriety test. Okay that's the closest.

He dealt with the stars part of it. Rich Butchko. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to the current ban on DEI, please enjoy on the high wire without a net and unqualified white guy. Not bad thinking although the Wollandes or whatever they were the great Wollandes were Melendez famous Wollendez

Wollendez The great Willandas were the most famous, Willandas? Willandas. Were the most famous tightrope walking act maybe ever. And then the French guy, also white, who walked between the World Trade Center. John in Carlsbad says, "'Ladies and gentlemen, watch the tightrope above "'as we try to stay monetized for the whole podcast wait where is that thing okay oh you skipped one I skipped one all right and then we got Dan Albany's

Hile I mean my heart goes out to you okay another elon one not not dealing with what he's um poriah said our next fabulous star neil patrick harris will make that pole disappear i'd have to say that's in the lead because he's gay ira m says for his next tightrope act, his is going to tell his wife she needs to lose some weight. Okay, it got a little figurative there. I think that's it. I think I think Poraya is our winner this week.

Yeah, we like a good anal probing joke. Yep. Yep. That's not bad. Like the next guy. Yep. The field sobriety test is not bad. Todd Pidlick, you're a runner-up. But the winner this week is Pariah. I didn't write her last name because hopefully it's very long. Hopefully, here she or, or more is not from Canada. I hope it's Porea and not Pariah. P-O-R-I-Y-A. Well, they're a pariah to me now because I got to put it on the koozie list and get to that. Next week's comic for you to write jokes about and put your name directly under is a line of people

walking out of a weed dispensary. There's a little puff of smoke on the inside and there's a little Girl Scout sitting out front and she has a little sign that says Girl Scout cookies last chance. She's smiling. She's handing a gentleman who's smiling a box of cookies and everybody's smiling. It's a very happy scene. There's six or seven people all coming out. They're obviously stoned. It is a well-positioned Girl Scout cookie sale. I mean this is a little bit of a joke on a joke because it's already kind of funny on its own but I think that this past couple weeks I've been giving you guys tough ones, and this one is

kind of a softball up the middle. All right. That's true. That is true. Let's go down to Hager the Horrible. Oh, isn't this nice to have your children read the colorful, fun Sunday papers and come across Hager the Horrible where there is a boat filled with monsters with these men who are beasts and they're on a desert or some kind of a Palm Beach island and one of the dudes is carrying a woman who looks scared and then Lucky says you know the policy, no carry ons. Yeah, just tired of the back. I mean, is this? What is this? They are abducting a woman who's

scared and taking her from her home onto their little boat. How is that appropriate? And all they did was carry on. Jesus. They're not going to check a vagina? No, that's overhead. That's overhead. Also, it is a carry on, or I guess if they're checking, they should weigh her. They should weigh her wear also see if she

fits in the carry-on right right right grab her handle pull her and wear yeah um Leroy this is the Lockhorns Loretta standing out front he walks out of a door that says divorce court quiet court in session Leroy comes walking out and he goes, they threw me off the jury for potential bias. I like it. I don't think divorce courts have juries, do they? No, but isn't there a show divorce court? Of course. With Judge Wapner. No, no, the hearing and the judge decides you're right. I wonder. I bet some divorces, you know, turn civil in a way if there's money at stake or whatever.

Like, obviously, there's always money at stake. But I mean, if there was like malfeasance. Right. Did you go to divorce court? No, no, no. The whole thing. Even the lawyers tell you like you don't want the the state, at least my experience of what I was told is the judges are very bummed out when you are now wasting the state's time to settle an argument between the two of you. And it goes pretty fast. And both parties kind of get scared of the the who knows

he or she judge will just be like, you know what, whatever, you're just gonna split it, you know, like that could really hurt one side, right? Or like, yeah, I heard both cases yet. Just pay him back. And then that's it. Move on. Huh? Yeah. I'm not doing it. No, don't do it. Leroy walks, if you want to avoid that, I would start picking her up at the airport when she comes to see you when you're working. That

was a big mistake. Leroy walks in the door, Loretta looks at him, his tie is undone. He looks exasperated. He goes, the day sees me. That's cute. He's had it rough. Both of them is almost the exact same. I it's kind of the exact same expression. It is work. Look, he was kicked out. Look at his eyes. Oh my God. They are cutting and pasting.

Come on. Hester Reiner. But it's a little bunny right. It's more of a profile. It's a little different. I'm a little concerned. Also his hair. No, Greg, look, his hair's so different on top of his head. Oh my God.

One is pointing one way, one is pointing the other. Yeah. All right, guys, we've arrived. I got to blow it up here so I read it clearly. We are at number 15. Out of how many? 15. Oh. So I don't know. I mean, I read an order. It started with one and again, sorry to keep saying this every week, but I don't know if this is counting up or down. I don't know if we're at the best. I think it's funniest. I don't know

if we're at the funniest or the or the 15th funniest. But we're at number 15. And this will I guess we're not going to read anymore, although they're very easy to read. I kind of like that. Maybe get some suggestions from the people at home about the next series of comics that Mike might want to deconstruct for us. I might want to go back to Calvin and Hobbes again, because that seemed to anger people who really have an emotional and not rational connection to it. Is that your goal on the podcast? In defending it.

To enrage people? I like when it happens, and I'm right. Yeah. Who doesn't, right? Okay, here we go. What did I get angry? Hold on, what did I get angry at this past? Oh, I got angry at the Brutalist. Man, you see the Brutalist? Is it about the Holocaust? I mean, yes, but not really. Uh huh. It's not actually it's not. Okay, that's the background. You didn't see it. Yeah. Well, well, then I won't say anything. I hear it's long, right? What in the fuck? Yeah. Oh, it's long. Yeah, sure. Three. 325 maybe. Did you see a Nora? I saw Nora in the theater when it first came out. I thought it was excellent.

I thought it was annoying. The guy know it's one of those same with brutalist. It's like my man, my man. Let's meet any Sunday you're free. We only need the morning. I will get or just give it to me. I will get 35 minutes out of this and you literally will be like where did you cut? Where did you cut? I don't well what am I missing? That's how

easy it would be to lose over a half hour. That was a long film. Yeah I think at the beginning also like we get it we get the stripper thing we don't need to see 18 lap dances. Got it. That's exactly what I said, but I'm wondering if you and I are too close to it. You know what I mean? Two lap dances?

Well, yeah, like the knowledge of what goes, but still with half of them, you would have gotten it. And it had nothing to do with, you know, the plot, obviously, whatever. I mean, the acting was amazing she was incredible what range she hit on so many different emotions the intensity now I think she deserves the Oscar for this they had no intimacy coach on set did you hear that no really No intimacy coach on that. Yeah. At all. They should have had a writing coach.

That's what I wish they had. Let's just so you know, it's on my imagination. The guy who's nominated, he wrote it, he directed it, and he edited it. Okay. And he's not disciplined. He's too close. Okay, here we go. Frame one, the, oh, I said look up the smack my bitch up guy with the hairdo.

I think he was a dancer. Someone said when they wrote me, if you could look it up while I read through this first frame of three smack my bitch up hair guy comes in and there's like a overhead projector screen behind him. And he goes, this is the best plan in the world. And anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. And then the next frame is outside the building. And you see like little lines coming out like this is being said in the building. And he goes, now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone?

Anyone? And now we're back in the room and you see the conference table. You have the little bald guy, you have Dilbert in the middle, then you have a short stunned looking maybe ethnic guy because he's a darker color. But anyway, with a flat top and the little bald guy raises his hand and he goes, I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting. And there you have it. Number 15.

Wow. On the funniest Dilbert. Let me see if it's funniest or best funniest 15 this is on screen rants.com the 15 funniest Dilbert comics let me try to see which way they counted because there's no way to tell no way nope doesn't say up top either well there you have it he does want me to continue with Dilbert they're easy to to read. So I like that. He's just called the pointy haired boss. I don't see anything about dance. I mean, I mean,

for Oh, God, I'm forgetting to smack my bitch up band. They don't give him a name. They call him ph B for pointy headed boss. No, but thatB for pointy headed boss. No, but that's in Dilbert. Yeah. But Prodigy... The video... We're gonna give this guy credit. Maybe not.

Alright, well listen, the show's really going out on a bang because I have no blondie this week. I look at the week's blondies and I try to pick the best one. This week's blondies had scenes of Dagwood at the diner talking to the cook who has the toothpick in his mouth, him carpooling to work, him asleep at his desk.

Is it called Dagwood? It's called Blondie, the depiction of a frustrated, possibly suicidal, beautiful blonde who is married to a loo. We don't need to know about the loser. We need to see shots of her bowling pin calves, her huge bosoms. Come on.

All right, this is why Reddit is so funny. I'm looking up, I literally go, smack my bitch up hair guy, right? Anyway, one of the results on Google is Reddit, and it goes, I always thought smack my bitch up would make for a hilarious first dance at my wedding. I love that. All right, I'm not going to get the guy's name. I'm going to get it next week. All right, next week we'll be back with another show. We want to remind you guys about the St. Patrick's Day show, March 15th. We always get huge headliners. Bill Burr, Zach Galifianakis, everybody comes down. I'm not

saying they're there this year, but maybe I think Zach's in town. We'll ask him and tickets at Fitzdogg.com. We'll see you then Mike, anything you want to promote? Might be Keith Flint. Oh, I'm going to promote Keith Flint. I think he's the guy. I don't know if I think he is, though. Yeah, I oh, yes, I saw the movie Conclave. I don't think I talked to us. We saw it this weekend and I loved it.

Loved it. Amazing. First of all, I thought it was gonna be this somber kind of procedural about electing a pope that was gonna be dry. It was the opposite of that. There are, it was, and there are a ton of movies like this, but the last one that I remember, where you're like, how am I kind of really on

the it's incredibly well written, right? So each scene just launches you into the next scene. And I'm not tired. There's zero action really. And I remember watching and I talked about on the podcast a while ago, but I remember like tuning into the first like, half hour of all the President's men. And I'm like, how is it achieving this effect? Like, it didn't even really have the music. The opening frame was the big key, just landing on a typewriter, you know, a keystroke landing on the white

page. And, and from there, it was just like, he's literally watching a trial, you don't know anything at this point. Anyway, this had the same effect. I'm like, I can't. And it's just driving in with the next scene and the next scene and the next scene. I really liked it. Also, it was where did you see it? In a hotel room on pay per view. I we watched it on a TV and I could just tell. I felt regret that I wasn't seeing it on the big screen because I mean they were so many of the images were like paintings.

Yeah, really so staged and beautiful. Yeah, no. And Ralph finds is one of the great actors of our generation. He is so there is not a false note in any of his acting. It is so grounded and pared down. He's amazing. It's really it was really well done. And Stanley Tucci was great. Oh, dude, it was a little like Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, where it's like, well, this is a master acting class that we're watching. Right, right. Because, you know, what's his name? Third Rock from the he annoys me, he annoys me. But he, he didn't bother me in this. But sometimes I feel like

he's a little too much. Oh, no, I think he's an American treasure. But Ray finds is is fantastic. Oh, I loved the Italian kind of heavy. Like I'm talking about like in terms of a bad guy. He was fantastic. Like and he only spoke Italian. They were they were they were all great John Lithgow John Lithgow is you're wrong about that Stanley Castellito I think was the Italian guy yeah Stanley Castellito and Isabella Rossellini was amazing Rossellini oh my god I love her from all those. Who's the Italian? No, the Italian director. Marcella Mastroianni was in a lot of movies with her, but who was the director? You're not talking about Fellini.

I mean, no, no. It was Mastroianni the actor, the director. Actor, I believe. Yeah, yeah. You might be getting this wrong. We're gonna fit fact check right now. We're gonna fit. We're gonna check it right now. Italian directors. Here we go. But it but but but but the boo boo. Yeah, Rosalini. Huh? Yeah, the director is Roberto Rosalini is the director. Well, I think it was all should have been an easy one to get. Yep.

I got it. All right. Let's wrap it up. We're going down rabbit holes. Mike, thanks for being here. Everybody. Thanks for listening. Tell your friends, like and comment on the YouTube channel and we'll see you guys soon. And tell your friends to take it each and then we're going to say take it each. Take it each! There it is. Wake up it's Sunday, early in the mornin' Quit your yawning, plug your phone in Watch out for gubbins, he's huffing puffing Cause his new clubs are coming for the sun Must be running to the corner store To get me some big papers

I need a blondie, it's so beyond me, Dagwood Beyondry It's been a long week, so it's time to wrap it up with my Congre I lose my blues, I got the news, Fitz Factor too, sometimes it's true Yeah, oh, it's been a long week It's been a long week I need a Blondie You spin around me You spin around me I need you around me So Get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for.

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